Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Emma Grede Talks New Book ‘Start With Yourself’, Balancing Work & Motherhood, Recognizing Your Worth + More

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INTERVIEW: Emma Grede Talks New Book ‘Start With Yourself’, Balancing Work & Motherhood, Recognizing Your Worth + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Every day a week ago up the Breakfast Club. I'm
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: feelish done morning.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Everybody is DJ Envy just hilarious. Charlamagne de gud We
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: are the Breakfast Club. Laur La Rules is here with
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: us today. We got a special guest in the building. Yes,
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: indeed as a new book. Start with yourself, Emma, Greedy,
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  Speaker 2: ldies and gentlemen, welcome back, Thank you.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you for having me back.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: How are you feeling.
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  Speaker 4: I'm feeling great, actually great. The book comes out and
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  Speaker 4: I'm just like dying right now.
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  Speaker 1: Fifty people at least, and.
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  Speaker 3: I learned from the best.
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  Speaker 1: Every one.
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  Speaker 3: I learned from the best.
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  Speaker 2: And when do you have time between running businesses? When
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  Speaker 2: do you have time to write this book?
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  Speaker 4: You know, I think it's like for me, it was
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  Speaker 4: super important to do it, and I've been thinking about
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  Speaker 4: it for the longest time because I've learned so much
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: over the years, and it was important to me to
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  Speaker 4: answer the questions that I get asked over and over again.
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  Speaker 4: And there's no way that I can answer every DM.
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  Speaker 4: I can speak to every woman at the end of
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  Speaker 4: a conference. So this for me was actually something that
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  Speaker 4: was really important to get out there because I think
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  Speaker 4: the idea of what it means to be order business.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Has been really warped by social media.
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  Speaker 4: And so then when I say things that upset people
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  Speaker 4: and they're like, oh, really, I need to go to work.
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, that need to work. You're going to
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: have to work.
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  Speaker 4: So, you know, I thought it was important to put
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  Speaker 4: down everything because you only see the glory side. And
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  Speaker 4: I've had a lot of things happen in my career,
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  Speaker 4: a lot of mistakes that I've made, and I thought
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  Speaker 4: that was equally important to share.
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  Speaker 3: Now.
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  Speaker 5: I know you're very intentional about design and things like that,
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  Speaker 5: Like what made you come up with this cover?
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  Speaker 4: Because it's it's fly But it's simplistic, right, It's very simplistic.
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  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful. Factorial of the book is different, the
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  Speaker 1: fabric is different.
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  Speaker 4: Now, I'm an aesthetic person, you know, I wanted something
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  Speaker 4: that looked beautiful. But also I went with the publisher
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  Speaker 4: who would allow me to not put my face on
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  Speaker 4: the book, because I don't want to read a book
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  Speaker 4: with the face on the book.
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  Speaker 1: But your face, sel I know.
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  Speaker 3: It's a nice face. No one's saying it's not.
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  Speaker 4: But to me it was important because listen, I created
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  Speaker 4: a book that is here to use, not just to read.
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  Speaker 4: So I wanted it to feel like a work book.
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  Speaker 4: It's yours, it's not mine. It's not about me, it's
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  Speaker 4: about you, It's about the reader.
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  Speaker 2: Now we'll start with just is that starting with yourself
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  Speaker 2: professionally or personally? When you say start with you, you.
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  Speaker 4: Know, I don't think that you can separate the two things,
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  Speaker 4: because at the end of the day, we come to
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  Speaker 4: work in into our work lives and our careers as people.
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  Speaker 4: And I've never been able to separate those two things myself.
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  Speaker 4: I come into my work as a mother of four,
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  Speaker 4: as a wife, as a woman that's been through a
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  Speaker 4: lot of things, and so I really try not to
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  Speaker 4: have that separation. It's like where you can figure your
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  Speaker 4: stuff out. And I talk so much in this book
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  Speaker 4: about having a vision for yourself and managing your emotions,
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  Speaker 4: because when you're coming at life from an emotional place,
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  Speaker 4: you will never make good decisions. That means you won't
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  Speaker 4: make good decisions in your life or in your career,
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  Speaker 4: in your work. So I look at the two things
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  Speaker 4: as one of the same.
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  Speaker 5: What's a hard truth about yourself that you had to
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  Speaker 5: confront that changed the trajectory of your success.
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  Speaker 3: Well, you know, when I was a kid, I was
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  Speaker 3: a very angry kid.
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  Speaker 4: When you're raised in the hood, and when you're raised
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  Speaker 4: you know around a lot that's kind of going on
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  Speaker 4: around you, and that's not something that you have a
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  Speaker 4: choice in, you get angry. I really realized, I think
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  Speaker 4: in my late teens, that that wasn't going to serve
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  Speaker 4: me the type of life that I dreamed of, and
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  Speaker 4: all the things I wanted were not going to come
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  Speaker 4: if I kept kind of walking around blaming everybody else.
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  Speaker 4: So that was a real pivot all time for me
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  Speaker 4: to kind of get a hold. And again, it's about
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  Speaker 4: not allowing your emotions to do your decision making for you.
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  Speaker 4: And I think about that even in the sense for
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  Speaker 4: most women now right, a lot of us come from
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  Speaker 4: a place a fear. We're fearful about what's next, or
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  Speaker 4: we're carrying guilt for our kids and for our family,
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  Speaker 4: and so I think managing your emotions more broadly is
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  Speaker 4: something that all of us, man or woman, really have
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  Speaker 4: to work on in order to get ahead.
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  Speaker 6: I saw you say you're a max three hour mom,
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  Speaker 6: and that sparked the stark.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, listen, I want to be really honest about this.
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  Speaker 4: I spend all my time working, and I'm a MoMA.
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  Speaker 4: For I think that I am a com memory mom.
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  Speaker 4: I'm not going to walk it back like I'm somebody
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  Speaker 4: that really really cares about the big things, the big
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  Speaker 4: moments Christmas, Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 3: But let's be honest.
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  Speaker 4: If I've been at work all week Monday through Friday,
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  Speaker 4: and I'm with my kids all morning on a Saturday,
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  Speaker 4: there's time that I need for me, and I say
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  Speaker 4: things that a lot of people think. I think that
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  Speaker 4: most mums, after playing with their kids and taking their
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  Speaker 4: kids to the birthday parties and getting up on a
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  Speaker 4: Saturday and going through their house and running their errands,
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  Speaker 4: are exhausted.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm just being honest.
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  Speaker 5: Any any husband who's married like I am, like envy is,
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  Speaker 5: we have four daughters. We understand exactly what you need. No,
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  Speaker 5: we know exactly what our wives need breaks, yes, or.
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  Speaker 3: Women need breaks.
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  Speaker 4: So what I want to do is destigmatize the idea
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  Speaker 4: of what it means to be a mother who works.
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  Speaker 4: And at the end of the day, it's like if
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  Speaker 4: I'm good, the whole family is good, but that it
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  Speaker 4: takes a village, and I think this idea that we're
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  Speaker 4: all doing everything ourselves, that you have to constantly be
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  Speaker 4: in service as a woman to your family, to everyone
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  Speaker 4: around you, is unrealistic if you're going to be successful.
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  Speaker 3: So let's just call it what it is.
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  Speaker 4: It's like, I am a really great hands on mum,
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  Speaker 4: but I will need to look after myself and I
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  Speaker 4: prioritize myself often and I don't want to have to
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  Speaker 4: walk around feeling ashamed at doing that.
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  Speaker 6: Do you think that women ever really get to a
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  Speaker 6: point where they don't feel a shame though? Like fully, like,
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  Speaker 6: do you have no mom guilt? Ever?
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  Speaker 4: No, that's the truth is now I don't, but it's
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  Speaker 4: my guilt. So I think what's really important. And when
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  Speaker 4: I talk about holding a vision for yourself, you have
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  Speaker 4: to hold a vision for yourself for the type of
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  Speaker 4: woman you want to be, the type of mother you
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  Speaker 4: want to be, the type of friend you want to be.
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  Speaker 4: And once that vision is aligned with what you're doing,
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  Speaker 4: you're fine. And what I mean by that is I
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  Speaker 4: know what type of parent I want to be. I'm
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  Speaker 4: out the door most mornings because I have to leave
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  Speaker 4: to go to the office, but I am always at
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  Speaker 4: my house at five point thirty because I like to
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  Speaker 4: do bedtime and story time, put my kids to bed.
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  Speaker 4: That's my choice, that's what I like to do. So
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  Speaker 4: I measure myself by my own set of standards, by
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  Speaker 4: my principles, by the way I want a parent, not
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  Speaker 4: by what I see on Instagram or what I see
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  Speaker 4: other moms at the school do. That's what makes you miserable,
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  Speaker 4: That's what gives you this heavy sense that you know,
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  Speaker 4: I'm in some sense of guilt. So I think, hold
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  Speaker 4: a vision for yourself elf, and work towards your own
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  Speaker 4: vision and version of your life, and don't be held
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  Speaker 4: to anyone else's.
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  Speaker 3: Dad.
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  Speaker 2: Now break down what the three hour max mom is.
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  Speaker 2: So for Pole, I don't know. That's just listening.
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  Speaker 7: I mean, you could clarify. But the comment that I
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  Speaker 7: read Wall Street Journal, it was.
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  Speaker 3: A Wall Street Journal, good old Wall Street journey, thank you.
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  Speaker 7: So she was basically saying.
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  Speaker 4: So what I actually said, just to make it very
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  Speaker 4: very clear, is that on a Saturday, after five days
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  Speaker 4: at work, I go in the office every single day,
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  Speaker 4: I come home every single day.
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  Speaker 3: By the time it gets to midday on a weekend,
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  Speaker 3: I'm pretty done.
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  Speaker 4: I'm ready to go and do something for myself. That
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  Speaker 4: doesn't mean I'm sitting out by the pool lounging around.
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  Speaker 4: Anyone who's a mom of four knows that that's not
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  Speaker 4: the case. But it's like, do I want to be
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  Speaker 4: down on the floor like driving cars with my four
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  Speaker 4: year olds all day? No, that's the honest truth. And
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  Speaker 4: so what I try to do is think about what
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  Speaker 4: do my.
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  Speaker 3: Kids really need from me? Right? They need someone that
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  Speaker 3: they can rely on.
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  Speaker 4: They need a mom that loves them, they need somebody
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  Speaker 4: who creates the best, you know, life for them. That
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  Speaker 4: doesn't mean that I need to spend every single waking
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  Speaker 4: hour orientating myself around their needs, because my job and
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  Speaker 4: my life is bigger than that. Just because you're a
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  Speaker 4: mom of four, I don't think we all need to
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  Speaker 4: sit here going that's the only thing that I do.
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  Speaker 2: It isn't Can you tell that to my four year
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  Speaker 2: old beacause I'm tired of playing Barbies on the weekend
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  Speaker 2: and it's.
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  Speaker 3: A I love playing Barbies for an hour.
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  Speaker 1: Its facts.
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  Speaker 3: Any parent who says any different, it's probably lying to them.
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  Speaker 1: It's not like the father is doing stuff with them, father.
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  Speaker 3: Is doing stuff for them. We have a big extended fans.
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  Speaker 3: They're not sitting there languishing. But also, let's get really
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  Speaker 3: straight about this, right.
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  Speaker 4: Parenting hasn't gotten more difficult. The expectations around parenting has
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  Speaker 4: got really difficult. And I think that we are all
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  Speaker 4: kid in ourselves when we think it's our full time
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  Speaker 4: job to manage every single playdate, every activity. Your kid does,
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  Speaker 4: everything that they ingest, everything that they do. Are you crazy?
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  Speaker 4: When I was a kid, if there was an apple
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  Speaker 4: and a packet of chips in the house.
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  Speaker 3: My mom was like, job done.
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  Speaker 4: It is not our jobs to usher our kids through
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  Speaker 4: every single month, moment of the day. They will figure
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  Speaker 4: it out. It's fine for them to get bored and
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  Speaker 4: put on the TV.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my good.
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  Speaker 1: So you don't think we should micro manage.
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  Speaker 3: No, I don't think we could micromanage anything.
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  Speaker 4: And again, I think that my job as a mom
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  Speaker 4: is to really make sure that my kids are safe
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  Speaker 4: and well and fed and looked after and loved. But
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  Speaker 4: I don't think that that every waking moment of their
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  Speaker 4: twenty four hours is my responsibility to manage.
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  Speaker 3: No, And would I be this successful if I did? No?
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  Speaker 7: When did their mindset switch?
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  Speaker 3: Though?
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  Speaker 6: Because I'm not a parent yet, But I always here
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  Speaker 6: don't talking about like the anxiety of like you're sending
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: your kids out and your night micromanaging.
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  Speaker 7: So when did I switch for you?
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  Speaker 3: I don't think it was ever part of how I
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  Speaker 3: was raised. You know.
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  Speaker 4: I was raised by a single mom on one of four,
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  Speaker 4: so by the time I was twelve, I could make
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: dinner for the whole family. I was raised in such
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: a way where I was very much left to my
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: own devices. Do I think there's a happy medium, absolutely,
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  Speaker 4: but I definitely don't. I never thought that when I
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: had kids that I would suddenly drop all of my
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: ambition and become a different woman. I've always been somebody
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: that was in creation mode for herself. And actually, when
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: I had my first kid, that was the moment my
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: ambition really made sense, because all of a sudden, I
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: was like, Wow, now I understand what all of.
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  Speaker 3: This is for.
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  Speaker 4: I have these beautiful four children who are relying on
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  Speaker 4: me for their lives, and I think the best thing
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  Speaker 4: that they see is that I go out every single
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  Speaker 4: day and I'm creating a life for all of us.
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  Speaker 4: I think that's an amazing role model.
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  Speaker 1: You say something that's interesting. You say you don't believe
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  Speaker 1: in micromanaging anything.
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  Speaker 4: No, I'm not a micromanager. I want to get things done.
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  Speaker 4: You know, I have extremely higher standards. But I hire
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: the best people, and I know what my strengths are,
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  Speaker 4: and then I hire everyone else for everything else.
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  Speaker 3: I don't think that I do everything.
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  Speaker 4: The best, and I actually you can't build a big
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: company if that's the way you're coming into things. You
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: need to know where your strengths are and then just
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: get the best possible people.
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  Speaker 6: Were you always like that or did you go through
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: issues with like hiring, firing, trying to do everything?
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  Speaker 4: You know, you always imagine or I always imagine back
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  Speaker 4: in the day that there was somebody better than me.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: I remember in my first company actually hiring a guy
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: that came in as the managing director, and while I
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: was paying myself one salary, I paid him maybe double,
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: maybe even treble. And that was because my idea of
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: what somebody at that age and that experience could come
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: in and do was kind of actually so far from
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: the truth.
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  Speaker 3: But I'd kind of got it in my head.
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  Speaker 4: That, you know, he was more experienced, that he would
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: have a better ability to bring in business. And of
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: course none of that is true, but that was about
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: my own self doubt. That was about my own fear
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: of like whether or not I'm born to be a leader.
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  Speaker 4: And I think what I've learned over the years, and
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: once as I've got kind of older and more comfortable
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: one with myself is that you just need to have
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: faith in your own abilities and if you are scared
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: of something, and don't get me wrong, like I still
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: have a lot of fear, but to me, I use
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: it as a signal. Fear to me signals that something
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: incredible is on the other side and that I need
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: to go through it, not shy away from it. So
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: now every time I get that feeling, I know, and
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: I use it in a way to kind of like
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: pull me closer to whatever it is that I want
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  Speaker 4: to do.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: You're on a lot of conversations, especially up here, when
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: is the right time to have a family? Could you
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: talk about that?
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  Speaker 1: Break that down a little bit.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Well, you know, I think that what's happened in the
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: culture very largely is that, you know, we really have
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: started to tell people that you know, you have to wait,
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: you have to wait, And I think, what are you
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: waiting for? Like you have to wait for Prince Charming.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: You have to wait for the ideal time, and the
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: reality is that there is no such thing as a
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: perfect time, you know, and fertility is a really really
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: tricky thing, and so what we're seeing are so many
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: people that wait and wait and wait. And this happened
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: to me and then it was no longer your choice.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: I had two children completely fine and naturally, and then
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: really really struggle to get pregnant again in my kind
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: of late thirties. And so I think that what we've
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: got to do is be honest about when the right
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: time is from a fertility perspective, because if we all
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: wait until we're thirty eight, thirty nine years old, the
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: chances and we again we kind of set ourselves up
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: in corporate America to say, freeze your eggs, don't worry,
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: there are options down the line, when in fact those
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: options aren't really options for women. They are just hopes
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: and promises that maybe something will happen in the future.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: And so I really think that you should do, you know,
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: have your twenties as the years that you put the
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: pedal to the medal that you absolutely like do everything
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: that you can in your career, and you have to
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: think about kids in your early thirties.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: That's just the reality of it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: Every time you lean on to have sex, you know
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: it's potential that you know you could get pregnant.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: There is that charlamagree, it happens it from sex.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: No, people are not staying it from sex. But we
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: we have to just like put this as what it is.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Right. We are seeing marriage rates decline, birth rates decline.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: A lot of women are making decisions not to have
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: children or to wait until they're much much later. Like
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: because again we've built it up that you have to
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: wait until your success in your career before you even
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: think about having a baby. The reality is it's not
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: either or it's both, and like you have to just
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: decide that you know, for a moment your career might
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: have to take a little back seat. But if you
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: wait and wait, Listen, I'm not sitting here advocating for
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: teenage pregnancy. What I'm saying is, wait until you're thirty
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: eight years old is probably not a good idea.
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  Speaker 7: I'm thirty four.
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: In fact, I was just looking at this thing New
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: York Times. Me and Mimi Brown, who does want thirty four?
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: So me, how many times should you go outside of
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: the country with a man after the age of thirty something.
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: I just came back from it. I guess I should
• 13:36
  Speaker 7: have come back with a ring and a baby.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: Oh well, now the country with this guy with the guy,
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: Sure it is. I'm not worried for you.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: So here's the thing that the first time he asked
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: you just to be his girlfriend.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Oh but that's romantical.
• 13:51
  Speaker 7: What's wrong with you?
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Charlote Magne.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: He made a big production of it, though he put
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: the rules.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Because it still comes when the proposal comes. That's going
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: to be nicepay production too.
• 14:01
  Speaker 7: He listens to what I like.
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: But anyway, so me and Mimi Brown, right, we were
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: talking about the New York Times is did this study
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: Their fertility last year was at like a record low.
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: And one of the reasons people are, like, you know,
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: women are thinking about career more, but also being able
• 14:15
  Speaker 6: to afford things has like really scared people into like
• 14:18
  Speaker 6: waiting and they're trying to save money and do all
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: these things. And that's something that I go through in
• 14:21
  Speaker 6: my head all the time, like when do you know
• 14:23
  Speaker 6: that you have enough even like money to be like,
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: all right, I can afford a kid and.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm talking about the expectations around parenting. Because
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: if you think that you need to change your life,
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: change your apartment, buy all of this equipment, you.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Know, like you, it's crazy. You don't need all of that.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Kids don't require all of that.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: We've built ourselves up in society to somehow imagine that
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: if you don't have like X, then you can't have
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: a baby. Like just we have to check that, like
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: our parents never had all of that stuff. Why would
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: we think that we do. This is just a construct
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: of like modern society. You don't need all of that stuff.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: It's just a fact.
• 15:00
  Speaker 6: When you talk about all all thoughts, are still thinking, right,
• 15:03
  Speaker 6: and then you talk about the construct the constructs that
• 15:05
  Speaker 6: we have today, where do you far in the middle
• 15:07
  Speaker 6: of Like, all right, I'm gonna let go of like
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: what my parents did, bringing what I need to do
• 15:12
  Speaker 6: for now, but like not push myself into fear because
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: I'm leaning too much into what society says I need
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: to do.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: You gotta be somewhat secure to me there like yolos,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: but you need that for yourself. People hear certain things, No,
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: but you need that.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: No, they're not. People are not that stupid. Here's the thing.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Give give people some credit. I think this.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: I think at the end of the day, nobody is
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: sitting here saying that you should go out if you
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: have nothing. All I'm saying is just waiting. Women we
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: have there's there's a reality around your fertility window. And
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: if you work in corporate America right now and you
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: have the benefit of freezing your eggs, like you might
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: hold onto that as like okay, that means I can
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: wait and wait and wait. When the reality is, how
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: many women do you know that have had pregnancies from
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: frozen embryos or from wait a minute, frozen eggs that
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: they need to turn into frozen embryos that then need
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: to turn into babies. It's actually really it's actually really
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: really difficult. And so when we talk about these things,
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: it's just a lot of nuance to them. We can't
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: just think about, you know, wanting to be a parent
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: and say I'll just kick that down. It's all I'm
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: saying in my book is that it's something for consideration,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: for thought. And again, we don't talk about these things
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: enough because the common wisdom is I will just wait
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: until I'm ready. I'll just wait until I've got enough money.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: I'll just wait until you know I'm in a better job.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: I'll just wait until this and and the choice is
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: no longer yours.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: It's not your choice.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: But we would never have kids if that was the kids,
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: because I mean, even now in America, I think sixty
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: percent of all people live paycheck to paycheck. When it
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: was there ever been a time in America majority of
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: people can afford.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: To have a baby.
• 16:51
  Speaker 6: I think one of the constructs of today that you,
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: I know you talk about like isn't really possible?
• 16:56
  Speaker 7: Is work life balance?
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 16:57
  Speaker 7: And like people?
• 16:58
  Speaker 6: For me, one of the things iways think about it
• 17:00
  Speaker 6: is like, all right, I don't know what a pregnancy
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: is going to be like if I'm physically going to
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: be capable of getting up and appearing somewhere every single day,
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: So then what happens and I can't predict that And
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: for a lot of people that part of it. But
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: also when you have the kids, how your schedule changes
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: and everything you have to adjust to what do you
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: lose what do you gain?
• 17:17
  Speaker 7: Like it's like fear of the unknown.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: It's called a trade off, it's called life.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: Like Seriously, women have been having babies for century, Like
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: you think they could make them way into the radio
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: and sit down to like have a chitty chat.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I've bet forking.
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: No, I'm deadly serious about this because that is how
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: people think.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: But what if I have to sacrifice? But what if
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I can't do something? Yeah?
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: And yeah and yeah, you have to sacrifice. There has
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: to be a trade off. Everything you get in life
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: comes with something else you have to give. I just
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: think that we're in a generation we're all sitting here going,
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: oh my god, somebody has to change. Yeah, it has
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: to change. You have to say I'm going to sacrifice
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: something because there's this other thing on the other side.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: But that's no difference than when we're in business. Everything
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: that you want is on the other side of fear.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Every good thing that's going to come to you requires
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: a bit of a trade off.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Why we think that.
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: We're going to get everything that we want and give
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: nothing is just setting people up to fail.
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: How do you check your ego when the world is
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: constantly rewarding you, Because success can reinforce bad habits just
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: as much as lawk.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: I think that that comes from my upbringing.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: You know, I was raised in East London and so
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: there is like a basic like there's a moral compass
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: and a sort of operating manual of how you should behave.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: I was raised to tell the truth. I was raised
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: to very much come true on my word, to not
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: talk and not mean things. And so I think the
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: way that I operate every day, what I come back
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: to and the way that I behave in business is
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: very much about the foundation of where I come from,
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: and so I just think.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: That that's who I am.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: I also think what you realize is that life is
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: very long, Like even on this press tour, you know,
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: I was laughing this morning with my team saying, I've
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: met three journalists that used to work for me. You know,
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: if you are I'm not a good person, and if
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: you've treated people bad like, it will come and it
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: will kill you. And so I am able to keep
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: those things in check just because that's who I am.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: And I also know that, like you know, things change
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: like really really quickly.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: One minute you're on the up and the other minute
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: you're not, you know, And I've seen those cycles. I've
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: had that in my life, and I try and in
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: this book to talk a lot about all of the
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: failures that I've had because what you see on Instagram,
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: what you see in the press is almost like the
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: real of greatness, Right, it's all this amazing stuff and
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: all these lovely outfits and all these good glam dates,
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: when the reality is, I've had a lot of failures.
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: I had a lot of things in my life that
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: didn't work out. I had a bunch of businesses that
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: I had to have really like steep learnings from. And
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: so what I did in this book was try to
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: be really honest about that so that other people can
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: learn from it and can see that it's just you
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: don't always have this linear path of up and up
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: and up, Like you do something great and then it
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: kind of stagnates a little bit, and then it goes
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: down a bit and then something else amazing happens.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: But our life happens in seasons.
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: Think the more that we can be really honest about that,
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: the easier it is for people to see and track
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: their own journeys, because we have like unrealistic expectations on ourself,
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: which also I think really stifles women, this idea that
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: everything should be perfection, and the reality is that in
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: my own life it has never been that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: And how do you.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Handle the failures. You talk about the failures, how do
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: you reapproach, whether it's personally or business, to make sure
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: that it doesn't happen again? Is it firing people as
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: it hiring the right people? Is it not listening to
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: your gut and listening to the finances?
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: So how does that work?
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: There's two pieces of it.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: The first one is that I'm always in learning mode,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: right every day, I'm trying to learn, and so whenever
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: there's a failure, I look not on the outside, but
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: I go inside. I'm like, what part did I have
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: to play in that failure? What did I do? What
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: was uniquely my fault? And so I kind of absorb that.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: I take that in and I go, okay, like what
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: could I have done differently?
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Who am I? So I really think about that.
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: The other part is that I don't attach it to
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: myself because men will fail, they'll lose money, they'll close
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: a business, and they're like bo onto the next one,
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: whereas a woman go, oh, that was me, I messed
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: my one chance. I know you don't have one chance,
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: you have many, many, many chances. So I try to
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: separate what is me from what actually happened. And when
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: you're able to do that. It's a really amazing tool
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: because you start not to look at these things as
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: verdicts on yourself, but rather like a set of circumstances.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: You take the learnings, you move on, you go again.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: That's just a fact. That's what you have to do.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: It's called resilience, and it's like a muscle. It builds
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: the more stuff you do. What I won't ever let
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: it do is stop me from doing something. And that's
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: a really important message for women, because you can fail
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: and fail and fail and fail and foul. All you
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: need is that one win. You just need that one
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: thing to work out. And that's what we have to
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: train ourselves for to know that there's a lot of
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: chances in life and that you don't have to get
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: everything right, and you shouldn't wait for this perfect moment
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: and this perfect set of circumstances, because my experience tells
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: me that never comes.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: That's what I love about you and I love about
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: the book.
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: I feel like you teach strategy, and I think that's
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: sometimes the self help industry sometimes sells hope without teaching strategy.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's what you know. For me was really easy.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: I wrote the book almost back to front in typic
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: typical dyslexic fashion, because it was so easy to write
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: about building a brand and a business and career. You know,
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: I spent fifteen years working in corporate leadership, all of
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: that money trade offs easy for me to write. But
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: the reason I've been able to do that is because
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: I've managed my emotions. And this part about holding a
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: vision for yourself is very important because it isn't about manifestation,
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: it's not about vision boards. When you have a clear
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: vision for yourself, meaning who you are and what is
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: important to you and what do you want in your life,
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: it really crystallizes how you should spend your time, what
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: are the ways that you should use your energy and
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: use your gifts. But it's really important to have that
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: vision for yourself and to hold it in high regard.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: And so the book really starts in that place of
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: figuring out not like my vision is I want to
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: be rich, No, it's like how do you want to live?
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: How do you want to spend your time? What type
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: of person do you want to be? And then you
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: make your decisions and you create your goals. Coming out
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: of that, you talk a bit about well as one
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: of your interviews. I saw you talked about how women
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: don't want to talk about money. Yeah, and you talk
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: about just now right, being rich.
• 23:15
  Speaker 7: So fores named you one of America's richest self made women.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: In times right, so they did.
• 23:20
  Speaker 7: Yes, okay, clack it.
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: But the conversation you were having is about how women,
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: in a lot of times black women don't even want
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: to have a conversation when they deserve raises or to
• 23:30
  Speaker 6: be paid for something. At what point in your life
• 23:33
  Speaker 6: were you ever not asking for what you deserved?
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Never? And I tell you where that comes from.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: That's an East London thing, like when you don't have much,
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: Like I was raised with audacity, meaning you know. It's
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: like when I did my first paper around they were like,
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: we want to pay you ten pounds a week. I
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: was like, that is crazy, And I worked out how
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: much it would cost for me to like visit every
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: single house and I went back and I was like,
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: that's that's wrong. You guys should pay me fifteen pounds
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: fifty or whatever. It was like something crazy because I've
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: value myself so highly and if you don't, it's very
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: hard for other people to value.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: So the first thing is do the work. And understand
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: your value.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: When we talk about for example, we all know that
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: women get less than three percent of venture capital funding.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: What I'm interested in is not what's happening in culture
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: and society, right that stuff we know about, We know
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: about systemic barriers. We understand that there are systems that
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: keep us out of those conversations. I'm talking about what
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: can we do? Where can we start with ourselves and
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: use what we have to get what we need? And
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: if you hide behind soft ambition performative purpose, meaning if
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: you have an idea for a business and you give
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: me a proposal and it takes you six pages before
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: you've even spoken about profit because you're too busy giving
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: the money away and supporting your community and all of
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: this stuff. Because you've dressed the idea up in performative purpose.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: That isn't getting to the point. That's not getting to
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: the point of business. So what I'm saying is we
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: have to put money in the center of our plans.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: We have to make sure that what we need we
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: are asking for and we're being very very clear about
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: where we're making money. And I mean I talk about
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: this all the time on my podcast, A Spy with
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: em agreed is full of lessons. I bring in money experts,
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: I bring in investment experts. I ask every single founder
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: that's ever been on that show, how how did you
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: raise the money, How did you make the money, How
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: does the company work, how profitable is it?
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: What are you doing with the money.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: It's very important because we are not taught this, and
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: so what I want to do is make sure and
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: part of my mission is to teach women that teach
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: us how to speak about it, teach us how to
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: ask for it, and get us like really used to
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: the language, because the language is something that you know.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: I listen to my husband on the phone every day
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: and he's having conversations about where to invest and how
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: much you're putting in like this crypto or you know,
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: this kind of financial construct conversation. I never have conversations
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: like that with my girlfriends, and so I want us
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: as women to start having those conversations because once you
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: understand it and you learn it, it's just it's like
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: exposure therapy.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: It means that you are then able to ask for.
• 26:05
  Speaker 7: What you need.
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: Can we talk about how important relationships are because you know,
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: when I look at it, which ones your business? Because
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: you know, I look at Skims, I look at Good American,
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: and I look at it safely. They've all been successful,
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: all with folks from the same family to kard Dashian Jenners.
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: What is it about your connection with them that makes
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: what y'all do so successful?
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: Well, you know, I think that relationships are really important,
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: and it doesn't matter if they are your business relationships.
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm also in a relationship with my husband,
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: who I'm also in business with. I mentioned to you earlier,
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: like meeting three journalists on this you know, press tour
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: that have worked for.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Me in one way or another.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: I think that who you are and how you keep
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: your relationships is a business imperative, right. How you treat people,
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: how you're seen, how you speak to people, what you
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: put out. And I've been very, very careful about all
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: of my partnerships throughout my whole life. I think what
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: people don't understand and they look at me, and I'm
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: very aware of the privilege of my partnerships. But the
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: most important partners that I have are the banks, the lawyers,
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: my vendors, the people that you would never think about,
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: because when I need to get something done, I'm not
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: calling my investment partners. I'm calling the guy at the
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: pocket line in factory because I'm like, that's the guy
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: that I need to hustle with. That's why I get
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: it over another person getting it. So when you think
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: about the strength of and I hear this all the time,
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: I need a mentor, I need a partner, don't overlook
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: the things that actually are going to allow you to
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: be flexible and good and move forward in business. Because
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: partnerships happen in the most unlikely places. They don't need
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: to be glossy. In fact, very rarely do they need
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: to look good. Building a network is very very different
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: from networking. And when you build a network, you are
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: building the people that allow you to get stuff done,
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: that allow you to interact to do business. It's very
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: rarely about sitting at a dinner going to a conference.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: You know, if you've got to pass around your net
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: that's not it. If you've got a name tag on,
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: that's not what you need to be doing.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: It's like building your network is going to see your
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: bank manager and knowing him by name so that when
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: you need something you can call them and you can
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: speak to them. Like I just think people are overlooking
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: the partnership piece and overlooking the network piece and misunderstanding
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: how you actually use it to become successful.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: That's fantastic advice.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: Do you talk to the people who make the draws,
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: make the underwear all the time.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it is about your draws. Draws
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: A different level, a different levels comfortable.
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: I thought, you know, people, you don't realize the difference
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: in drawers till you get old.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: No, then you know, then you know country. Yeah, you
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: know in England we say nickers like so I yeah, yeah, no, no, no,
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: So I have trained myself.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: To be real.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: It's okay. I just want to say that, Yeah, it's
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: one of the things. Listen.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: I am a product obsessive, right, What I believe in
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: is excellence. And so when you say that, there's nothing
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: in this conversation that makes me happier. Because when you have,
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: like when you do one thing really really well, that's
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: when you have an incredible business. So you saying that
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: to me is like the single best thing. And I
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: think that the reason I'm good is because I have
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: a connection to the customer. I know that if you
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: spend thirty bucks on a pair of draws. They need
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: to be good. They need to be your favorite ones.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: If they'rer favorite ones, you're going to come back again
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: and so again. I think in business we've kind of
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: we say to ourselves right now, and when you look out,
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: you know, people are obsessed with marketing, they're obsessed with
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: social they're obsessed with influencer.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: That's not what business is about.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: Business is about creating something that people are going to
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: love so much, a product that they love so much
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: that they'll come back to you time and time again.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: So when you shift that energy from the marketing the
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: flash stuff into how can I make something excellent? How
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: can I just be so good at something that people
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: love it and they're obsessed and they come back time
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: and time again.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: That's the business.
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: The other stuff is just a distraction when you focus
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: on distribution and finances and logistics. Not sexy, but that's
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: the stuff excellence, right, Don't get distracted by all that
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: other stuff. It is just not the right way to
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: think about coming.
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: My wife told me to throw out every single other
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: pair of underwear our own because she likes.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: How I look in skims and they wash well too.
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you, And it just gives you a confidence. Man,
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: you look in the mirror, You're like, damn, I get
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: all that.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: That's the same.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: That's the same, it's the same.
• 30:37
  Speaker 8: Right, Yeah, I know, I know what all you I have.
• 30:48
  Speaker 7: Just want I want to ask a business question.
• 30:50
  Speaker 6: I watched your interview with UH with Cardi and then
• 30:52
  Speaker 6: I watched your interview with Kamora Lee Simmons, and the
• 30:54
  Speaker 6: biggest thing that I took away from both of those
• 30:55
  Speaker 6: is like learning from the mistakes.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 30:57
  Speaker 6: But with Kmora, she talks about she made twenty million dollars.
• 31:01
  Speaker 6: The brand was like value like a billion dollars. Right, No, no, no,
• 31:07
  Speaker 6: it was it was it was. It was valued at
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: a billion dollars.
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: So she had a billion dollars in sales, right, she
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: had Let's get this right, she had a billion dollars
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: of sales. She had one hundred and forty million dollar valuation,
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: and she ended up with twenty And this is where
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: people get it twisted. A billion dollars of sales is
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: not always created equal because what people do is they
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: look at retail sales, they look at everything that's coming
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: through in licensing, where you're getting what between three and
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: eight percent, and then they look at how the market
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: values it. Now, the market only valued it at one
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: hundred and forty million because they had, you know, lots
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: of subsidies.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: They weren't really in charge of their business. They had
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: dying parts of it.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: So one hundred and forty million, But my girl should
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: have got more of that because it was all maayby fair.
• 31:45
  Speaker 7: Yes, and just hearing all of that, that was like
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: at the at the end of it.
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: Once you realize all of that, and I guess you're
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: learning from a real time but like that has to hurt,
• 31:53
  Speaker 6: like making those decisions or looking back at those decisions.
• 31:56
  Speaker 7: From a rearview, like, damn all that money.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: I mean, she was really honest about it. And you
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: gotta love Camora because she came on and she was
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: so open, like where did it go? She didn't make
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: all that money. Her husband made that money. And so
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: when you're in a partnership as I am, and you're
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: in a business partnership alongside it, what are you doing?
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Are you outsourcing your decision making because you shouldn't be.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: You have to trust one person that is yourself. And
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: when I talk about this idea of starting with yourself,
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: it's like we all know intrinsically inside, like you know
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: what we're good at. She at that time wasn't somebody
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: that was checking the contract. She wasn't in charge of
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: the money. But you have to make sure when you
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: are the person that is front and center, and when
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: it's your face, when it's your work ethic, when it's
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: your name, you've got to be having fifty percent of that.
• 32:41
  Speaker 6: Russell Simmon said, she she came in and she blastomed.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: Initially she wasn't, Russell said.
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: He also said he gave her the brand, which already existed. Yeah,
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: so he said, I made her famous and marketed the
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: brand with her face.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Now, I'll think it's the saying with what you're doing.
• 32:57
  Speaker 7: But he said that I compare it to me. Oh,
• 33:00
  Speaker 7: I'm not comparing it to them, by the way.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: I would never. I would never. First of no, no, no,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: no no.
• 33:06
  Speaker 7: But what if that's the only entry point for some people.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: Well, here's the thing that and often it is right.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: And so I think that what she was actually saying there,
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: like very very clearly was she had to take the
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: seat that was given to her, and the seat that
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: was given to her was the back seat. And so
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: my thing is that you have to again, look at
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: what she's done. Now, she's been able to invest in Celsia,
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: she's been able to ride back the brand, so she'll
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: do it all differently. So she has learned from those mistakes.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: Everyone has to get their foot in the door in
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: whichever way. And it was imperfect for her, but she
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: took it anyway. She learned. Listen, she didn't walk out
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: with nothing. She walked out.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: It's not nothing.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: Should she have got more in my view, absolutely she
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: should have got more, but she was not in the
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: place to be able to advocate for herself.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: And again, it's.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: About knowing your value. So when you come into something
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: initially you might be worth one thing, but don't think
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: you can't go back in and negotiate because pre sale
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: I would have been there, Hello, you want me involved
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: in this Trand because in order to sell it to
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: a buyer, I'm sure they wanted some kind of lock in,
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: you have to do a separate deal there. And again
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: this is like what you have to learn about negotiation.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: What you have at one spot is not necessarily what
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: you need to leave with. What you can negotiate with
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: in the beginning can change year, two year, three year four.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: You just got to know your points of leverage. So
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: ahead of that sale, I would have said to them, Hi,
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: you want me to stay here, you want to keep
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: using Camara. You need this name, image and likeness. Here's
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: what I need right right. But that's again, that stuff
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: is not taught to us. That's why you have to
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: listen to the podcast, because I am talking about negotiating
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: on your own behalf. I'm talking about how to interview,
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: I'm talking about contracts. You Nobody teaches this to us,
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: and we need this information. I've written a whole book
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: about it. And it's really important to me that regardless
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: of where you come from, regardless of whether you went
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: to school, we all come into life and to business
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: in different ways, but we all deserve the information.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Every single one.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: Of us self is out right. Now, go up, gentlemen,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: a new vision for work in life.
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: Em I love you, man, I really do appreciate you
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: and the information you put out this.
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: I appreciate you so much, and I have to say
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: I'm so happy that you're doing my show in New York.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: You were literally I wanted to make sure.
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: That a man was going to be in and the
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: idea that you're there with Martha Stewart tomorrow.
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: He's like, he's the man, He's the man.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: Version of it, Charlamagne. I'm just waiting for it, just
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: that I'm loving it. But it's important.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: Listen.
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: I'm hoping your people have told you, Charlemagne, don't worry,
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: you'll be there.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: No, I know about it.
• 35:42
  Speaker 7: Can you give I wanted to.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes you should come.
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: It's sold out right, but we'll make it, will make it.
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: It's at Adler Hall.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: And it's tomorrow seven pm, seven pm.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much, Adla Hall, seven pm tomorrow.
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: We're having a conversation myself and Emma about her bookstore,
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: a new vision for work in life.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: No, I know about that.
• 36:00
  Speaker 7: He's a maximum two hour know what he's supposed to
• 36:03
  Speaker 7: do person.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: I really relate to that on the side.
• 36:06
  Speaker 6: That's why I'm going.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: He gonta know what's happening.
• 36:08
  Speaker 7: Next punctual though when he's going to show up. He
• 36:10
  Speaker 7: read the book.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: But he's great and we're gonna have a great conversation.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: And I think it's very very important because we also
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm all about women supporting women, but we
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: will need men to Yeah.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Get somebody in there too. That's so funny. Somebody, I
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: promise you. Somebody asked me.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: That, yes you can.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: All right, well it's the Breakfast Club.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Is Emmigretty, Ladies and gentlemen, thank you darling.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Every day a week ago, the Breakfast Club