Latest / Presented by Speaking Human / The Future of Roller Coasters

Transcript

The Future of Roller Coasters · Presented by Speaking Human

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Fuzz, where we envision ideas we'll all
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: be buzzing about in the future. The Fuzz in the future, Sure.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: In the future, in the future.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In the future.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: While the things we talk about on this podcast might
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: seem impossible or even slightly insane, so did magnetic launches,
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: five hundred foot drops and inverted coasters, And yet thrill
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: seekers everywhere are.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Lining up for more trail seekers. That's right. On today's episode,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: we're talking about roller coasters. You know, those gravity defying
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: metal monsters that toss you through loops, drops and corkscrews.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Why you scream for dear life, But what will coasters
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: look like one hundred years from now? Let's take a
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: ride into the future, Shad, What do you think.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: I think we should do it, mostly because I'd probably
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: need to get away from you calling roller coasters metal monsters.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Scary metal monsters. I wish they were called metal monsters.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: What if in an alternate universe roller coasters were actually
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: called metal monsters, not roller coasters.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Sounds like a better world to me, right.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excited about this episode because roller coasters that
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: we enjoy in the summertime, not a lot of time.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Outside of that, unless you live in a warm climate,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: we do not have a limited window of activity.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, coasters all so interesting because they keep taking them
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: a level up, But it's a slow evolution, right, each
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: summer there's something new comes out and it gets a
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: little bit crazier than the last one. So year by
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: year we're like slowly ticking up a notch. So you
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: can only imagine where we'll go in say, one hundred years.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, I think there's only one place we
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: can go from here. Let's step into the time machine.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: The year is twenty three eighty one. Vacations are boring,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: gravity is optional, and your thrills. Welcome to Coast Reverse,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: the galaxy's first interplanetary thrill, part because one planet just
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: wasn't enough for the adrenaline economy. Forget roar coasters made
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: of steel. Sure they're cute, but not here. Here they're
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: made of sound. At Coast Reverse, our rides are sculpted
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: from sound itself. High frequency vibration rails resonate through the
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: vacuum of space and hum you forward at face melting speeds.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: No wheels, no tracks, just pure sonnet propulsion, and unlike
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: those physical fee park restrictions. At coaster Verse, there are
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: no height requirements, no turnstiles, no lines. You heard that right.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Your mind is temporarily untethered and your body is along
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  Speaker 2: for the ride. Strap in metaphorically as you get launched
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: through a black hole inverted around Saturn's rings and blast
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: it into a loop that technically defies three known laws
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: of physics and one intertalactic zoning regulation. Because the future
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: isn't about physical thrills, It's about transcendent terror wrapped in
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: tasteful branding. Book Your launch window today, coaster Verse, or
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: the only thing standing between you and the universe is.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: An ironclad liability waiver.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: For a limited time, riders get a complementary on ride
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: photo captured by a psychic orb and edited in real time.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: And yes, your terrified expression will probably be used in
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: a coaster Verse promotional ad. Remember that ironclad liability waiver.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: That's your consent, Just verbally accepted terms, and you'll be
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: phasing through asteroid fields and screaming nebule loops before you
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: know it.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Coaster Verse, coaster Verse, What do you think?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I think it sounds pretty intense, So let me see
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: if I've got this straight you're riding on sound waves.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: There's no physical coaster.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Right, there's no physical coaster. The sound actually transfers to you.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: How that happens not super documented.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: That's often the case.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: There's a little bit of language that I saw there
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: that says, there's like almost like this metaphysical thing that's happening,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: but it's not a physical cost of sorts.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: You're just floating there? Do you feel like you're actually
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: in something like the feeling?
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  Speaker 1: So, I don't think you feel like you're in a
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: solid contraption.
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  Speaker 3: Sounds terrifying. That would be fun in a base jumping
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: sort of way where you're just flying, but you know
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: you're on a track. Right, you're kind of following a
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: pattern I guess as you're flying through space and barely
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: missing things.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I think there is something to this idea of thrill seeking, right.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I also like that they call it the adrenaline economy,
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  Speaker 1: because isn't that what it is? The thrill seekers of
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the world. They're looking for that next Like you said,
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  Speaker 1: what's the next thing? How are we going to amp
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  Speaker 1: this up? I think that's probably the evolution of that.
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  Speaker 3: Not only that, it's almost like what content creators are
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  Speaker 3: now what YouTube is now? Maybe that's kind of almost
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  Speaker 3: what this world has emerged to be. What are different
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  Speaker 3: ways we can show people these crazy thrills?
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  Speaker 1: And you know, you get that photo capture by a
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: psychic orb. I don't even know what that is, but
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  Speaker 1: it sounds amazing.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, who doesn't want a photo of you screaming through space?
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: And you like, how'd you get that? You know, psychic orb?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 3: I wonder if you can see other souls.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: While you're riding. Oh that's a great question, crazy future,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: crazy trip.
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  Speaker 3: Would you take our ride? Are you gonna do it?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I think I would. I think After the podcast is over,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna hop back into the time machine go for
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: this ride.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Try it out?
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, try it out?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, good one. I tried it out too. It sounds
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: like fun. Well, let me take you into a different
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: future of roller coasters. Step with me into the time.
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: Oh right, this is Zarnad Jones. It's June seventeenth, twenty
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  Speaker 5: two to seventy five.
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  Speaker 6: I just stumbled up from having the Hell the Transdimential
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  Speaker 6: Screamer at Apex Amusement Nexus, and my brain is still
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  Speaker 6: trying to realign its atoms into something vaguely coherent. Let
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: me try to describe what happened before I lose consciousness
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: from emotional whiplash and nano lung fatigue. First, you get
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  Speaker 6: strapped into this thing that looks like the love child
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: of a spaceship and a medieval torture device. It whispers
• 7:20
  Speaker 6: soothing things to you, like you will not perish.
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  Speaker 1: Today, comforting.
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  Speaker 5: The operator tells you that the safety harness injects you
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: with a temporary existential detachment serum.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: To reduce screaming induced brain implosion. We start by launching up.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Not just wow, look the parking lot is getting smaller.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: I mean up through clouds, past weather balloons.
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  Speaker 4: And right into the stratosphere.
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  Speaker 5: I saw a flock of geese and aviator goggles give
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: us a salute.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: That's how high we were.
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  Speaker 5: At one point we hit holy crap altitude and I
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: swear I high fived a low orbit satellite.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: My ear drums were filing complaints with HR. And then
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: it happens. The ascension loop.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: The coaster does a slow, graceful three hundred and sixty
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: degree loop and a thin, icy vapor layer known only
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: to pilots and very confused angels. It was peaceful, transcendent.
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: I saw my childhood dog. He was running across a
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: cloud made of marshmallow, and he was definitely judging me.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: And then the drop, not just a drop.
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: The drop, the track just disappears, I mean it vanishes, poof,
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  Speaker 7: and then the whole car goes vertical and fires us
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  Speaker 7: like guilt out of a Catholic school into the Earth's crust.
• 8:44
  Speaker 7: You don't even scream, the sound gets left behind you
• 8:48
  Speaker 7: open your mouth and your soul exits first, looking over
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  Speaker 7: its shoulder like nope.
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  Speaker 5: Then we passed magma dinosaurs and a guy named Carl
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: who got lost lunking in twenty ninety three.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: The heat thinks Satan's Jacuzzi. My eyelashes melted, and I
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: liked it. We hit the Core Loop.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: A zero gravity court screw through a spinning chamber of
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: liquid nickel. It smelled like burning regrets and chili. At
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: some point, I think the ride inverted time. We went
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: so fast I saw myself getting on the ride again.
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  Speaker 4: That version of me looked hopeful.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: What a fool.
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  Speaker 5: Then bam, the coaster does a reverse launch back up
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  Speaker 5: through the layers of the planet like a deranged mole.
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  Speaker 4: Then we rock it back.
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  Speaker 5: To the surface, crashed through a holographic stained glass.
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  Speaker 2: Cathedral, and roll into the station through a chorus of
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: robotic cherubs singing.
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  Speaker 4: Ride again, Sinner.
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  Speaker 5: The coaster stopped and I fell out of the seat, sobbing, laughing,
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  Speaker 5: and proposing to the nearest food kiosk.
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  Speaker 4: Would I ride it again?
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: Only after therapy and a new pair of reinforced a
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  Speaker 5: dradal glands.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: Twelve out of ten we lose the lava angels again.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah, yeah.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: So that's from Heaven to Hell, the Transdimensional Screamer. We
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: got a review there from you know, somebody who had
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: just ridden it. That was a lucky find, that no
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: nugget of content.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I mean that guy he should have his own podcast.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, I mean I think he might.
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  Speaker 1: So I come with questions, is this guy's review? Is
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: it just a regular roller coaster? It could just be
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: in his mind. He's like, I saw the angels at
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: my childhood dog and he was judging me, and then
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like you then you go down. He's like, my
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: eyelids melted or whatever.
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  Speaker 4: This is a great question.
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  Speaker 3: Is it his exaggerated hyperbole or is this thing actually going,
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: you know, to the edge of the space and then
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: to the core of the earth and back again.
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  Speaker 1: Because I love both possibilities. The one possibility of his
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  Speaker 1: exaggeration is fantastic. The other of it actually happening like
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: he says, is also fantastic. Like I love everything about it.
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  Speaker 3: So yeah, and that's a question we don't know the
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  Speaker 3: answer to. It's possible he's riding the tiniest roller coaster,
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: you know, like we'd consider a kid's ride. Now, maybe
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: they don't have any of that in the future. So
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  Speaker 3: this is terrifying.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like his first time riding a coaster,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: but he's like riding literally like those little baby coasteries. Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that would be So that makes it even better to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: think that way, even though I love the picture that
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: he painted, and if those are literal visualizations that he's
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: giving us, great. I would love to see my childhood
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  Speaker 1: dog once again. You know, I'm sure he wouldn't judge me,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: but you know, you might.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: It seemed at least with some of that, right, it's
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: just a clever wordplay. But what if you want to
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: ride a roller coaster that was so intense it caused
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: either mass hallucinations or you're seeing.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Angels or dead people or something of that nature. Are
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  Speaker 1: you in, whether it's one or the other, I'm in.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I'm on that coaster all day. Here's what I love
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: about it is the branding for the coaster is amazing.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: From Heaven to Hell TM. Yeah, it's trademarked. It should be.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: If it's not a coaster, it should be a coaster.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, how awesome is that name? It is good.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: I mean you get an idea of where you're going, right.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Like I imagine if it was a physical coaster, which
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure if that's what this is or not.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Could you imagine like having a coaster that they've burrowed
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: into the earth, you know, into the core of the earth,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: and that's what you're experiencing. How far out would that be?
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I mean that would be insane.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: Let me throw out a third possibility here, Zarnac Jones
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: didn't even ride a roller coaster.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: He's hallucinating, you mean.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, probably less appealing that way.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean there's always that possibility.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there was the idea that the future could just
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: be filled with a bunch of people who are actually
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: doing nothing and going from nowhere but just producing, you know, content.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: People are just listening to it and creating it.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, some might say these are at competing theme
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: parks in the future at Coast Verse and From Heaven
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: to Hell.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Different spaces, different types of thrills. They could definitely be competitors.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder if on from Heaven to Hell, if
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: you get a photo on the ride, you know what
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: that looks like. Yeah, he did not mention it, but
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: you know, he seemed to have a lot going on Zarnac.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Of course it's Zarnac. He's never really ridden that coaster. Well,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: whether you're a thrill seeker and you're a part of
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: the adrenaline economy, the future adrenaline economy, or you're not,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: you know, you're you're just someone who likes to hear
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: about coasters but never ride them yourself. Hopefully you got
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: a lot out of this episode, because we are in
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: the season of coasters right now. We hope you enjoyed
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: this episode of the Future of roller Coasters. That's all
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: for the Fuzz. Tune in next time for more of
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: tomorrow's Buzz. Today to