Latest / Gospel Explorations / 075: How Should Christians Handle Conflict? - Matthew 18:15-20

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075: How Should Christians Handle Conflict? - Matthew 18:15-20 · Gospel Explorations

• 0:03
  Mark: Hello everyone, this is Mark Davis, and I want to welcome you to the Gospel Explorations Podcast, where we gather together each week to take time to explore God's Word to learn how we ought to live in this present age.
• 0:15
  Mark: I'm glad you've chosen to spend some time with us today.
• 0:18
  Mark: Let's jump into today's episode.
• 0:21
  Mark: Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Gospel Explorations Podcast.
• 0:31
  Mark: My name is Mark Davis, and this is episode number 75.
• 0:35
  Mark: We're looking at Matthew chapter 18, verses 15 through 20 today.
• 0:41
  Mark: And in our last episode, we took a moment to look at the heart of the shepherd.
• 0:45
  Mark: We saw a God who pursues the one who strays and who takes sin seriously, and who has called us to do the same thing.
• 0:53
  Mark: Now, in today's passage, Jesus gets very practical, and he helps us to understand what do we do when sin does happen between believers?
• 1:02
  Mark: How do we handle this conflict inside the kingdom?
• 1:06
  Mark: Because the reality is, if we're honest, this is where things often fall apart.
• 1:12
  Mark: Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, broken relationships.
• 1:16
  Mark: But Jesus doesn't leave us
• 1:18
  Speaker: here guessing.
• 1:18
  Speaker: He gives us a clear, loving, and powerful process.
• 1:22
  Speaker: Let's look together and read Matthew 18, 15 through 20.
• 1:25
  Speaker: Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.
• 1:32
  Speaker: If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
• 1:35
  Speaker: But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
• 1:42
  Speaker: And if ye shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church.
• 1:46
  Speaker: But if ye neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.
• 1:51
  Speaker: Verily I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
• 2:01
  Speaker: Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father, which is in heaven.
• 2:12
  Speaker: First thing I notice here in this passage in verse fifteen is that we need to start private and go directly.
• 2:20
  Speaker: He says, Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.
• 2:27
  Speaker: If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
• 2:30
  Speaker: Jesus starts here with something that's simple but yet often ignored.
• 2:36
  Speaker: We should go to the person.
• 2:38
  Speaker: We're not to go to our friends or to a group chat or even share it as a prayer request, disguised as gossip.
• 2:46
  Speaker: He tells us to go directly, to go privately, between thee and him alone.
• 2:51
  Speaker: By the way, this requires humility and courage, but it also requires love.
• 2:57
  Speaker: Because the goal is not to win an argument, the goal is to restore the relationship.
• 3:02
  Speaker: And Jesus says that if he hears you, you've gained a brother.
• 3:06
  Speaker: That's success.
• 3:08
  Speaker: Not being proven right, not getting an apology on your terms, but gaining your brother.
• 3:15
  Speaker: Now, this also helps us see something important that when someone sins against you, Jesus really gives you two legitimate options.
• 3:23
  Speaker: Number one, you can go to them and address it, or number two, you can cover it in love and let it go.
• 3:30
  Speaker: What we're not allowed to do is to hold on to bitterness, to retaliate, or even to spread the issue to others.
• 3:38
  Speaker: You see, silence filled with resentment or conversation filled with gossip both miss the heart of Jesus.
• 3:46
  Speaker: Now Jesus gives more instruction beyond verse 15.
• 3:51
  Speaker: He says in verse 16, but if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more.
• 3:57
  Speaker: So Jesus tells us that if the person won't listen, then the circle widens carefully and intentionally, not to gang up on them, but to bring clarity and accountability.
• 4:09
  Speaker: These witnesses really serve two purposes.
• 4:12
  Speaker: They help establish truth and they also help to restore relationship.
• 4:18
  Speaker: And it's possible that even sometimes they may show you that you misunderstood something.
• 4:23
  Speaker: You see, that's part of the process.
• 4:25
  Speaker: Because again, the goal is not proving yourself right, it's reconciliation.
• 4:30
  Speaker: So what happens then when someone refuses to repent?
• 4:35
  Speaker: Look at verse number 17.
• 4:37
  Speaker: And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church.
• 4:42
  Speaker: So the pattern here is if a person continues in unrepentance, it then becomes a matter for the church community.
• 4:49
  Speaker: And Jesus tells us that if they still yet refuse, let him be into thee as an heathen man and a publican.
• 4:56
  Speaker: Now, Jesus isn't calling us to act in hatred towards an individual.
• 5:01
  Speaker: It doesn't mean rejection in the worldly sense.
• 5:04
  Speaker: It means that they're no longer walking in fellowship.
• 5:08
  Speaker: That is, they're treated as someone who needs repentance and restoration.
• 5:12
  Speaker: Just like an unbeliever, they are loved, but recognized as being outside of the fellowship.
• 5:19
  Speaker: And by the way, this step is redemptive.
• 5:21
  Speaker: It's meant to wake them up, to bring them back.
• 5:24
  Speaker: And then notice what Jesus says in verse number 18.
• 5:29
  Speaker: Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven.
• 5:34
  Speaker: That is when this process is followed humbly and biblically, heaven affirms it.
• 5:41
  Speaker: And that's a serious statement.
• 5:43
  Speaker: This means that church discipline, when done rightly, is not just organizational, it's spiritual.
• 5:52
  Speaker: And God honors it.
• 5:55
  Speaker: Even if someone walks away and ignores it, heaven has already spoken.
• 6:00
  Speaker: And then we see Jesus shifting to something quite beautiful in this passage.
• 6:05
  Speaker: In verse number 19, he says, If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done.
• 6:14
  Speaker: Now, this word here that's translated agree means to symphonize, like instruments in harmony one with the other.
• 6:22
  Speaker: That is, when hearts are aligned and voices are united and prayers are in agreement, there's power in that place.
• 6:30
  Speaker: It's not just addition, it's multiplication.
• 6:33
  Speaker: And God works powerfully when his people are unified in him.
• 6:37
  Speaker: And then I think in verse number 20, we read one of the most comforting promises in Scripture.
• 6:44
  Speaker: There am I in the midst of them.
• 6:51
  Speaker: You know, this isn't just in the big gatherings or in the large churches, but even in the midst of two or three gathered in his name.
• 7:02
  Speaker: Jesus is there, right in the midst.
• 7:05
  Speaker: And the scripture tells us that it's those who are gathered in his name.
• 7:19
  Speaker: This phrase matters because it's a gathering of those who belong to him.
• 7:24
  Speaker: It's a gathering around him and a reflection of his character.
• 7:28
  Speaker: And it's a gathering as we seek his will.
• 7:32
  Speaker: It's not just a meeting, it's a Christ-centered gathering.
• 7:37
  Speaker: And when that happens, Jesus says he himself is present in their midst to strengthen and to guide and to restore his people.
• 7:47
  Speaker: And I think it's important that we notice that this connects us back to the earlier warning.
• 7:53
  Speaker: That the one who refuses to repent misses out on this.
• 7:58
  Speaker: They miss the power of agreement, they miss the presence of Jesus and fellowship and the blessing of unity in the body.
• 8:07
  Speaker: And that's why this process in Matthew 18 matters so much.
• 8:13
  Speaker: It's not punishment, it's protection.
• 8:16
  Speaker: And ultimately it's an invitation back into life.
• 8:20
  Speaker: So, what is it that we should carry away from this?
• 8:24
  Speaker: I think there's a few things that are reminders for us in this passage.
• 8:29
  Speaker: First, we must handle conflict God's way.
• 8:32
  Speaker: We're told to handle it directly, privately, and lovingly.
• 8:37
  Speaker: We're also called to seek restoration and not victory.
• 8:41
  Speaker: That is, our goal is not to win, it's to gain our brother.
• 8:45
  Speaker: Thirdly, Jesus tells us to take sin seriously in our community, not harshly, but faithfully.
• 8:54
  Speaker: We're also called then to value the unity that we have in Christ.
• 8:58
  Speaker: There is a power that is explained for us in this passage when believers are aligned together in Him.
• 9:06
  Speaker: And then finally, we're reminded that Jesus is present among his people.
• 9:13
  Speaker: Even in small gatherings and hard conversations and moments of correction and restoration, Jesus is there, right in the midst.
• 9:25
  Speaker: You know, Jesus is showing us that his kingdom community is not built on avoiding conflict, but rather on handling it with truth, humility, and love.
• 9:36
  Speaker: And this is exactly how relationships are restored.
• 9:40
  Speaker: It's how unity is preserved, and it's how the presence of Christ is experienced among his people.
• 9:46
  Speaker: Friend, I want to say thank you for joining me for the Gospel Explorations Podcast.
• 9:52
  Speaker: If this episode's been a help and an encouragement, please share it with someone else.
• 9:57
  Speaker: And don't forget to check out the show notes for reflection and study questions.
• 10:02
  Speaker: Until next time, friends, grace and peace.
• 10:06
  Speaker: Thanks for listening.
• 10:07
  Speaker: I hope that you've been both encouraged and challenged today.
• 10:11
  Speaker: If you want to connect with us further, please be sure to check us out on the web at gospelexplorations.com.
• 10:17
  Speaker: We look forward to having you join us again next time.