Latest / BREAK/FIX the Motorsports & Vehicle Enthusiast Variety Show / Cretanous Cars Sent from God

Transcript

Cretanous Cars Sent from God · BREAK/FIX the Motorsports & Vehicle Enthusiast Variety Show

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John Summers is the motoring historian.
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He was a company car thrashing, technology sales rep that turned into
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a fairly inept sports bike rider.
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Hailing from California, he collects cars and bikes built with plenty of
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cheap and fast, and not much reliable.
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On his show, he gets together with various co hosts to talk about new
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and old cars, driving, motorbikes, motor racing, and motoring travel.
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Good day.
0:35
Good morning.
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Good afternoon.
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It is John Summers, the motoring historian.
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Um, with his high school friend, Mark Gami.
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How the devil are you, Mark?
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I am very well, sir.
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Very well, sir.
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Why have we got echo now all of a sudden?
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Because it's sod's law and we can't make the technology work.
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Now the question is, maybe if I put some earphones on that might deal with it.
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Is it bad for you?
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It doesn't seem that bad for me.
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It seems to only be apparent when, if I laugh or something,
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make a noise when you're talking.
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It seems to be that's the most notable.
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Well, there's a little bit of like loopback, but given you can edit
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it afterwards, and just delete my track whilst you're talking,
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then I guess it's, it's fixable.
1:21
So the other day, I got home from the school run.
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It was a Monday or a Friday when Dane was working from home.
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It was a Monday.
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Dane was working from home.
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So when I get home, I walk in the kitchen and I say to her, What do you see?
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She goes, Rick's jeans.
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No, no.
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It wasn't that you don't need to join in in this story.
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I've been preparing, telling this story for ages.
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I'll say you don't need to join in.
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And I say to her, what do you see?
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She says, Rick.
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I say, no, no, that's not what you see.
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Give me more.
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What do you see?
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She goes, a motorhead shirt.
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I go, no, no, wrong again.
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You are perceiving an angel sent from God, did you not?
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An angel sent from God.
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Sent from God.
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See,
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school runs along the beach there and the old sand, it blows up and the
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old roads close there at the weekend.
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So Monday morning, when it first opens, if there's blown sand, People get stuck.
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So as we approach the piece of the offending piece of road, um, Ollie and
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I on, uh, on Monday morning, I bought the old, uh, a one bullet Mustang there.
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Um, as we approach a piece of road, it was, I noted that the sand was,
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you know, of a level where if people didn't apply the throttle properly.
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That was going to be a problem and indeed people were stuck already
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two cars ahead of me was stuck and and so rather than so dropping back
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leaving my car On on the pavement.
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I just put the hazards on and stopped but the the person not right in there's
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maybe there's 50 feet then there's a car then there's uh, the the little
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chevy spark that is is stuck there and
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I know maybe it's a function of having had the coffee in the
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morning or something like that.
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I don't know.
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I don't know quite what it was, but I, I've seen people get stuck before.
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We were going to be trapped and Ollie was going to be late for school.
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So I, uh, leapt out of the Mustang, total like red mist, right?
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No way I'm going to be stuck here.
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Right.
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Total red mist.
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I leap out of the Mustang.
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I say to Ollie, don't let anybody move the car.
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I leap out, leave the motor running, leap out.
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I'd go to the bloke in the coma behind me and say to him, I am
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going to get these cars moved.
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Just wait here a moment.
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Hold my beer.
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Because I didn't want him thinking what the hell is this guy doing
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like at the same time and trying to drive around because it was clear
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that Tacoma was could just drive over the top of anything, right?
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It was, it was definitely not gonna gonna get stuck.
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And I knew I could see with some speed, the Mustang was going to
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be able to get through no problem.
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But but these people were well and truly stuck now.
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So I sprint up the side, sprint up, I get up the side of this Chevy Spark.
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And as I get there, And I'm like, I open the door, I bang on the window,
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I open the door, I'm like, this car, I'm moving this car, old woman, and
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she's upset, she's in tears, right?
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She's got like a carload of people, like the backseat's like full of these boys
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who looked like not quite right, you know, as my mother would say, one eye in
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the pot and the tother up the chimney.
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So she was obviously taking them somewhere and she was like, oh, I'm stuck and I
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can't do it, and you're an angel from God.
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And I'm like, yeah, I'm definitely going to get this car moved lady.
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So she was like, Oh, help me.
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So I'm like helping her around the back of the car.
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She's like leaning on me on the side as we go around.
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Right.
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I could see Ollie sitting in the Mustang with his jaw.
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I, I get her into the passenger seat.
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She has to lean on me to get in.
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Cause she's got the stick and so on.
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And she's telling me all the time.
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I'm like an angel from God.
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I'm thinking.
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I'm fucking not.
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I'm just in a rage and there's no way you are not.
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So I'm in this, so I leap into the spot.
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She's got the handbrake on, no wonder it can't go.
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She's got the handbrake, so I get the handbrake off.
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And I'm just like, 300 yards later, I'm at the side of the road.
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She's the, the, the, the guys in the back are like looking at me as like seeing
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their eyes in the rear view mirror.
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I, I felt like I was an angel sent from God and I realized that in that moment
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to extract her from that situation and allow her to just carry on with her
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day, I really was, I was the very best person to, but I'd love to tell you
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it came from, you know, the kindness.
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Of my heart or you know compassion or something like that, but it wasn't it was
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sheer rage That I wasn't going to be I was buggered if I was going to be stuck.
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So yeah, ollie did get and uh perhaps the most amusing thing was uh, somebody in uh,
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All wheel drive volvo had tried to drive around behind the tacoma, dude but had
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taken it off where the sand wasn't that deep and to where the sand was very deep.
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So when I returned from my school run, I observed him stuck in his Volvo when
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the rest of the traffic was cleared.
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So they were
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slightly, you know, calming.
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Well, I'm lucky you shouldn't have bought a Volvo.
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So yes, so, um, Mark, I put it to you, not a scruffy man in a motorhead
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shirt, an angel sent from God.
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Now, what music should we have in this episode?
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Um, I don't know.
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Um, I was very much enjoying Monster Magnet while on my holiday.
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I ended up like running through the old Negasonic Teenage Warhead
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album and thoroughly enjoying that.
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Dopes to infinity, wasn't it?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah.
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If you are new to Monster Magnet, it is a crossover from that early super
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stonery dinosaur vacuum early era into the sort of later commercial
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power trip onward era, wasn't it?
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It was, uh, I think it's their best album to be honest.
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Negasonic.
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Yeah.
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The, um, Dopes to Infinity.
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Dopes to Infinity.
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If I look at it in terms of comparison, like the amount of ones on YouTube
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music, I've starred as five.
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There's like enough of them on that one to be justifying the band alone if you like.
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Yeah, I tend to pick up on individual tracks that they do now.
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I think Dig That Hole is a great track.
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I think Cyclone is a great track.
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That track you forwarded me, um, probably years ago.
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Vampire Motorcycle.
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The Duke was the one that you forwarded to me.
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But no, I don't know Vampire Motorcycle.
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I got a vampire's motorcycle.
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Yeah, that was definitely worth a visit.
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It's like the best, again, there's not that many tracks.
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I think the last couple of albums, I've listened through and there's been like one
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or two tracks where you're like okay, this was like worth the price of admission.
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I'm happy I came.
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But I'm probably not going to listen to the rest of the album again.
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But yeah, I mean, that, that, the Duke one, the, the, the, you should watch
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the, if you haven't watched the video for it on YouTube, it's really interesting.
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It's a weird sort of guy has affair with chick at the area 51
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kind of testing facility with it.
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And like, then there's like, An evil zombie, like, nuclear devil bitch.
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I was gonna say, because I started watching it, and then Dana was like,
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This is not appropriate for Oli.
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That was exactly, uh, that was exactly what it was.
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I mean, yeah, that is fair comment.
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It's funny you mention Monster Magnet, because I was actually thinking we
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did need to do a Monster Magnet.
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Um, episode at some point, listening back to the company cars episode,
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one of those days in the company cars episode that was all running wild.
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So yeah, maybe, uh, maybe this one should be the monster magnet one.
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Bloody dog, like he's quiet most of the time.
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And then you also can't edit that out, right?
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No, you're going to have to shut him up.
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I mean, you know, right before we did this call, I went out and did
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like an extra walk with him to be sure that he would be quiet.
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Have
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you got a bonus that you can give him?
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Not like that.
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Let me go and deal with him.
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Hang on a second.
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Dude, dude, dude.
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See,
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he's quiet now.
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I didn't, Catch him.
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He's under the Mustang or something, right?
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This is, this is the, the, the very striking thing for me
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about dog ownership is, uh, they fully understand what you mean.
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It's whether or not they actually do it.
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That's the fully.
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And this is why you do hope that going the extra mile for them, as I've really
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tried to do with him, pays its dividends.
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Maybe it does.
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I mean, I can, I can pretty much walk with him off leash now.
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But of course what that means is when you try and put him back on again, he acts
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the goat and won't go back on the lead.
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Um, he also, when he's on the lead, he also acts the goat and
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pulls all around all the time.
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And you're just like, you little asshole.
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Like some woman said to me the other day, is that your dog?
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Because I was like walking up the hill with him and he was dragging
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behind and acting like I, you know, and there's me looking scruffy, right,
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in, in that, that day of Venom shirt, um, dragging the dog, which is some
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ridiculous fucking designer dog.
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That, you know, is like super cute.
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Cause I think a lot of corgis get really short shrift because
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he acts like a real dog.
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He can hang out with Remus, the pit bull.
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No problem at all.
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You can run on the beach with him, do all of that.
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But people don't do that with them.
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They feed them ice cream.
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Like I was watching some woman do in Palo Alto the other day to some corgi.
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I was down there.
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In fact, I'm going to do a separate video, um, uh, a separate recording about this.
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And I'm going to trailer that up cause I'm so fucking commercial.
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I'll be asking people to buy.
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I'll be asking for people to visit my eBay store summers and sun used car trading
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in order to buy some used cars next.
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If I know, but I was down in Palo Alto last night to look at, to listen
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to, um, A guy from Valeo talk about or value or whatever the French
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engineering group is bottom line.
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Um, developments in lead our technology.
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Um, what is the TLDR that you'd be interested in?
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Um, that Well, the raw data point that I think is fascinating is that
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in 2017, their Gen 1 system, um, scanned 44, 000 data points a second.
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And the one that they're just about to launch does 2.
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6 million.
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And what that nets out to is ones like a really shitty dot
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matrix printer that's out of ink.
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And the other one is kind of shitty like 480p res.
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I mean, in other words, one's a real picture, the other's fucking not.
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Now, my question is, though, just because we can make sense of it, does
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that help the car make sense of it?
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And then I began to think even more deeply about it.
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And I realized that Rather like these hydrogen trucks that I went and looked at.
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Everyone's like, ooh, what about the trucks?
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Ooh, what about the hydrogen station where they can get?
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That's not what it's about.
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With those vehicles, it's about how you get the hydrogen cleanly to the
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station to be, to be pumped, right?
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With the, Lidar stuff, it's not what's perceived, it's how that
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is interpreted by the brain.
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Well, that's NVIDIA, which is why NVIDIA's share price has gone
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on the tear that it's gone on.
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That is not their component at all.
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I put it to you, what I saw last night was the new design for David Beckham's
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boot, not for is not why his leg is so great or not what makes him special in
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the brain to be able to put his foot in just the right place on the ball to
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make it curve in the way that it did.
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The boot is important.
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The boot hits the ball.
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I agree the design of the boot and and that, but it's
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just the fucking boot, right?
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It's just the boot Beckham's brains.
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The important thing that's in video.
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Um, I've cashed out by the way.
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I bought the last jigsaw.
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I bought the 93 water cooled one with, uh, with that money.
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So I'm out ski of, uh, of Nvidia now.
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So, uh, um, look, right.
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We've done our usual.
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Are we 20 minutes in?
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I can't even see a timer, but we usually talk for 10 or 15 minutes,
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20 minutes or so before we get to what we actually arrived at.
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You have this holiday to some Grecian island.
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You sent me an agenda.
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It's pretty sweet.
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I've not looked at it because I really wanted to sort of be surprised by how you
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wanted to structure, uh, your experiences.
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The fact that you said, you know, be worth doing a pod about this, that alone,
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that was, that was my first question.
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Why, why do you think it was worth doing a pod?
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What was so interesting?
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Did I say that?
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I can't remember how we arrived at it, but either way, I mean, Yeah, I mean,
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it's I mean, I've been to Greece twice and I've never been to mainland Greece.
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So both times it's been, uh, an island.
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Um, first time a Santorini and that was really nice.
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And we did an Airbnb at the sort of higher top left, um, bit.
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where all the people, you know, it's this sort of the classic sort of, you know,
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white houses or blue houses or whatever and sunset and sea and kind of thing.
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It's gorgeous, but it's really hectic because it's like you're cheek by jowl
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with all these other mofos and it's a bowl so you can see all these other people.
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People even bus in to the top to like do the view and fly their
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drones out and below you the catamarans come every sunset.
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Every evening and park down there for the people who've done the sort
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of the sunset Catherine Moran tour around there and things So it's cool.
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And there was some ancient history.
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I like to do a bit of ancient history Well, it turns out we didn't end up
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doing that in the end this time round But only because we sort of wanted to
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enjoy the little place that we'd rented.
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So we did an Airbnb again on Crete Crete's the largest of the Grecian Greek
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islands, you know, it's got like three mountain ranges on it give you an idea.
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So it's like 100 and something miles across.
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Um, and it's, it's, it's gorgeous.
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Um, and we did the West Coast.
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Um, there's two airports, Heraklion on the East, sort of 10 o'clock.
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If it was, it's just like sort of a rough oblong, if you like, sort of
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long side horizontally, if you like.
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So we Heraklion's at the top, right?
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Sort of one o'clock ish.
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Um, and Hania, I thought it was Chania in my ignorance, but the, uh, nicely
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spoken British Airways airline pilot, uh, kindly informed me that it was Hania,
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and she ought to know, given she flies there pretty regularly, so Hania it
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is, and, you know, it's gorgeous, it's got a little, um, uh, And like Narnia.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Um, and it's, it's, it's really pretty.
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I mean, it's Greek islands tend to be, um, and it was, you know, we just rented
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an MBB on the coast, um, about an hour or so anti clockwise around the island.
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So we got to the little Svinari, little fishing village.
18:00
And, you know, for like a hundred, And I think it was a hundred quid
18:03
a night, something like that.
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You, or we rented, it gets more expensive in the summer, but that's
18:07
why we did it when we did it sort of beginning of spring, you know,
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mid spring there, so it's already mid twenties on a nice clear day.
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Little bit of wind, which is a little bit annoying, but it's going to add a pool and
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a beautiful view of the beach and stuff.
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And, and, um, yeah, I mean, I would recommend Greece as a holiday location.
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I'm speaking to my old sales director like, uh, in a couple of next week
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to have a chat to him about it.
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Cause he's did Italy last year.
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I need to get a download on it.
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from him, but um, he wants to do Greece and sort of the full tour in his,
18:36
in his um, sort of semi retirement.
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And it's worth it.
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I mean, if you look up Balos Lagoon is the full on Instagrammable as fuck.
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Beautiful, like, trapped blue ocean, sort of pale blue seas,
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like white sand and stuff.
18:52
As we were walking there, and it's about a sort of 25 minute walk from the car park,
18:56
it's about half an hour walk from the car park down there, down a six mile dusty.
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Like trail, um, seven kilometers, seven kilometers.
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And it's all bumpy as hell.
19:06
Um, when you get there, there's a couple of viewing spots where
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you can see it in advance.
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And, uh, we, uh, we were sitting there taking it in for about 30 seconds
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before some chick came and sat in a short mini skirt on the wall and had
19:20
a chap Instagrammable pictures for, uh, as a influencer ness, uh, asserted
19:27
itself on, on the, on the situation.
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So.
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It's that kind of place.
19:30
But so there's some gorgeous places around there.
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Um, but we were, I just wanted to get away from it all a bit and Angie sort
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of after the stuff she's gone through needed a sort of a week away in the
19:40
sunshine and you're sort of off season.
19:42
So, I mean, that's the little fishing village has a small
19:46
shop where sort of old.
19:49
We sort of christened her Nonna Greco.
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Um, sort of, uh, old deer that runs the place.
19:54
Sells most of the stuff you can have without sort of much of a fridge.
19:57
Yeah, a little freezer, a little fridge.
19:59
You can buy wine and pasta and chocolate and stuff like that.
20:02
But the old timers of the fishing village hang around outside and sort
20:06
of play backgammon and stuff like that.
20:08
And it's all You know, window boxes and trellis vines and, you know, nice flowers
20:13
and it's a really nice, the pace of life there is, is, um, Denzel'd like it.
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I mean, it's that sort of laid back, chilled out, not too bothered about much.
20:26
And interestingly, when I sort of, when I looked up driving there, I
20:29
just ran, the BA offered me to rent me a car, a Citroen C1 or similar.
20:34
Uh, and I, I was kind of hoping for a Citroen C1 to be honest.
20:37
I've never driven a little, the really titchy Citroen products.
20:40
So I was quite keen to try that out.
20:42
Well, I got YouTubers love them.
20:45
Car UK guy who's like a, uh, sub five grand car dealer from,
20:51
uh, from actually from crew.
20:54
That's probably why I was thinking of, uh, of crew.
20:57
Um, he.
20:59
It there.
20:59
He did a buyer's guide on him just recently.
21:02
He, he, he swears by them.
21:04
And one thing that's interesting is that guy chops that I followed
21:07
down in South Devon or North Devon.
21:09
He will buy them, but he doesn't love them in, in the same way.
21:14
And that's, I think that's a matter of regional taste being different.
21:19
I've got to say by watching these channels, these little European cars,
21:23
which I'd sort of tuned out of completely and didn't know one from another.
21:28
Uh, Um, by watching these channels, I've sort of tuned back in on them again.
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I would be interested in one.
21:34
Um, I obviously like a basey one with the, you know, littlest spec
21:39
with the biggest motor is what I'd be be looking for like the Do they do
21:43
like a little GT like hot roddy one?
21:46
I'm gonna I need to look into it I I haven't specced it up and obviously I
21:49
didn't expect that's what I'd get, you know I you know, I was expecting the
21:52
steel wheels with the wheel caps kind of thing Um Yeah, that's what you want
21:55
as a rental car in that kind of place.
21:57
Oh, dude, for sure.
21:58
And look, I mean, we got, what we got was a Toyota as we christened it Barely.
22:02
Uh, so we took the Barely out.
22:04
It's the, it's the Igo.
22:05
And it did go, but.
22:06
Oh yeah.
22:07
Not a lot.
22:08
Um, and it was, it was the base spec model and it had air con and was
22:12
titchy and damage on every panel.
22:16
So as per usual, when you arrive, do take a photograph of all the panels and stuff.
22:22
And as it was, I had no issue from the, I didn't think the guys who rented it to
22:26
me from budget, we're going to give me any shit and they didn't, and the guy in
22:30
the rental place went, look, just make sure you take any pictures of any damage.
22:32
And it wasn't much, it was like a little scrape here, a little scuff there.
22:36
Little scuff on the corner of the bumper.
22:38
Therefore, it fitted in.
22:39
You know, you wanted a titchy car.
22:42
The roads were pretty titchy, especially up in the mountains.
22:45
Um, and I mean, it's like mountains, like big hills.
22:48
They're not mountains really, but like, it was pretty, it was a sort of, um,
22:53
you know, proper laced tarmac across the side of the hills following the contours.
22:58
So what you're saying is that the Fiesta, our Fiesta, would be just about
23:02
the best car you could possibly have.
23:04
Yeah, and to be honest, you wouldn't, you'd probably not get out a third.
23:08
Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't.
23:13
Yeah, you might even have more fun in something with less tyre.
23:19
Yeah, uh, so I mean, I think I've got a little video of Angie Tukwasha from
23:23
the passenger seat, just to show her mum how much it's like beautiful sea,
23:27
mountain, beautiful sea, mountain, goats!
23:29
You know, get out, watch out for the fucking goats.
23:32
Um, and, but interesting, as I say, when I looked on the driving guide,
23:36
I looked it up at sort of things to know about driving in Crete.
23:39
I mean, classically, after I'd got there and we'd driven to
23:42
the, to the place, obviously.
23:44
Uh, that's the way around.
23:45
You do these things, isn't it?
23:46
Oh, right, yeah.
23:47
Research after the ride.
23:48
Read the guidebook on the plane.
23:50
Yeah.
23:50
Yeah, that's absolutely.
23:53
Um, so, uh, and it said, well, it said is the first question on the, on the
23:58
guide page was, is driving re difficult?
24:00
And it said, yes, driving re is hard.
24:02
Well, I'm here to tell you it isn't.
24:05
That's un an unfair judgment in the sense that Angie didn't really want
24:09
to drive while we're over there.
24:10
And I've driven tens of thousands of miles on umpteen continents in umpteen cars.
24:15
So it's not necessarily a reflection of every person's experience, the, the main.
24:20
The main things to know are the dual carriageway, it's not a huge amount of
24:25
it, um, but from the bit I did from Harnia around West, I think there is a reasonable
24:30
amount between Harnia and Heraklion, um, because they're the two major
24:34
cities on the island, so the road bit in, that's where the biggest roads are.
24:38
Um, there's this weird thing though, where people will be, it's a two lane road.
24:43
One bit of it's clearly hard shoulder, and a lot of the people will be driving across
24:48
the white line on the inside of the road.
24:50
So it's right, you're right, driving on the right, not on the left.
24:53
Um, so, but then, you'll be, you'll be fully, not just a bit over the white line,
24:59
like, you know, the car is middled over the white line on the hard shoulder piece.
25:04
Which I was confused by.
25:06
They do that in Italy as well, don't they?
25:08
Or in the on occasion.
25:09
I've not really, I haven't driven in it Italy for a while, so,
25:11
well actually that's not true.
25:12
I driven on the lakes a few years ago.
25:14
Yeah, well I'm not, I'm not driven there for a while, but, but when I, when I
25:16
think of that, that kind of, it's often like farmer bloke who's got on in Italy.
25:21
I feel like he's like on at one exit, he's gonna get off at the next and
25:25
he only wants to do like 40 miles an hour on the freeway kind of thing.
25:30
On the order stratas.
25:31
So he just stays there so that when there's folk in, you know, you know,
25:38
wanting to come by a hundred miles an hour, they're not blowing
25:42
your door handles off 'cause they're a couple of feet away.
25:44
That's what and that seems to be the, the deal on it.
25:48
I did as, as I say, modicum of research after the after arrival at the, uh,
25:51
the little place indicated that yeah, people tended to be a bit assertive.
25:55
I wanna overtake here.
25:56
And the best way to get out to do that was, you know, they sort of
25:58
expected you if they were up your ass.
26:00
to get out of the way a bit and get over the shoulder a bit so
26:03
they could overtake more easily.
26:05
Now, even in the Igo, uh, even in the Barely, I didn't find
26:08
any reason, need to do that.
26:10
And I mean, it was hardly a ball of fire, as you might imagine.
26:12
Um, was Baggy it had done about 60,000 kilometers, I guess, given
26:21
that was the speed reading on the, on the, on the dash, on the odo.
26:24
So, yeah.
26:25
Um, and it, it sort of felt, lived in it.
26:29
It was happy to go into gears, just not particularly quickly.
26:32
Thanks very much.
26:33
It didn't really like finding reverse, but as long as after you knew the
26:36
knack, you could get it in there pretty regularly without it complaining too much.
26:40
Um, but yeah, sort of cars.
26:43
Well, I'm, I'm struck by is, is the, you know, most California car, if it's
26:48
only done 80 or 90, if it's done 80 miles, that car is probably halfway
26:55
through its life, maybe less, um, maybe in less, if it's Toyota or a Honda.
27:01
Um, Or a pickup truck.
27:04
Yeah, these,
27:07
these C1's or Igo's or whatever, because they are made in the same factory.
27:13
Um, they're clapped out, aren't they, by 100, 000 miles.
27:17
This is what, um, this is what?
27:19
Well, it's the life of a rental car as well, isn't it, to be fair?
27:22
Um, I mean, we drove it down the road to Balos Beach car park.
27:28
As I say, that's seven or seven K's of Pretty bad, dirty, sort of stone
27:35
road with big bits of gravel on it.
27:38
And I drove pretty slowly.
27:39
I was overtaken a couple of times.
27:41
Uh, cause, you know, I, I have mechanical sympathy and therefore I can't, sort
27:45
of, even in a car I don't give a shit about, I can't really bear to do anything
27:49
to willfully hurt it, cause, you know, it's, it's having the good grace to
27:53
try and drive, to drive me around the island in good faith, I don't think
27:56
I should, like, piss in it's chest.
27:57
Well, apart from anything, you just don't want it to break at the side of the road.
28:01
No, no, exactly, I feel like I owe it, you know, in the terms of it's,
28:04
uh, contract to drive me around.
28:31
Over the years, I've spent a long time beating myself up
28:34
over the creative process.
28:36
In other words, I used to beat myself up over the fact that Gooding used to
28:40
pay me to write about car descriptions and they'd write to me on the Monday
28:43
and say, can you do this Porsche 356?
28:46
And I would say, yes.
28:47
They would write to me on the Tuesday and say, can you do this Lamborghini 400 GT?
28:51
And I would say, yes.
28:52
And then I would realize that I had this other piece that I had committed to
28:55
somebody else that I was going to write.
28:57
So come the Wednesday, I would have started three pieces and finished none.
29:02
And then I'd be like, Oh, it's fucking Thursday morning and I've not done
29:06
anything like, ah, like, ah, right.
29:09
And then by Thursday lunchtime, after that panic and all of that, by
29:13
Thursday lunchtime, I'd have got all three pieces to a stage where they
29:18
were 90 percent finished and then everything would be done and really to
29:22
a good standard by the end of Friday.
29:24
You know, I would, but all, but instead of it being like a nice
29:27
spread through the week, it was like, it was like this veering.
29:32
On the loo with nothing better to do, surf on over to Summers and
29:37
Son used car trading, only on eBay.
29:42
Movie cars are available for under three dollars, postage and packing not included.
29:50
Captain America, PJ Masks, Catboy, Speed Racer.
29:58
Various characters from the Pixar universe represented.
30:03
Most viewed models this week include the silver Chevy S10 mini truck.
30:11
It's not a great model in truth but for two bucks it captures the stance
30:15
of the original pretty well we feel.
30:20
And Raider Command, a rather odd, damaged, incomplete 1970s Matchbox Super King with
30:31
faintly inappropriate colonial overtones if we're being completely honest.
30:38
Finally, relive the horror of suburban England in the 1980s and 90s with
30:46
our beige corgi Renault 11 GTL.
30:54
It has opening doors.
30:57
Opening bonnet, opening boot, folding parcel shelf, folding seats.
31:04
Oh sir, I can see you in it.
31:10
Only available at Summers and Son used car trading on eBay.
31:16
Thank you.
31:17
Drive thru.
31:20
This is part of what I'm trying.
31:22
I've realized this is part of what I'm trying to do with this.
31:25
I didn't know it when I started out, but this is what I tried to try to do
31:29
with this motoring historian pod is a lot of the academic stuff I've been
31:32
done recently has been about the idea that there's the racing driver and the
31:37
racing car and the races in, and we've talked a lot about those three things.
31:42
We've not talked at all about the guy standing at the side of the track,
31:45
taking the pictures or writing the story.
31:48
And those two things, they are absolutely critical.
31:51
That was what motorsport was at the beginning.
31:53
The newspaper organized the cars, these newfangled devices
31:59
to drive from Paris to Bordeaux.
32:01
That was the beginning of, of motorsport right there.
32:05
Always a mediated experience, always, always.
32:08
Think about your own understanding of motorsport.
32:13
It came through cool pictures of cars sliding, didn't it?
32:16
Or it came through watching races on TV, you know, maybe at a friend's
32:21
house or something like that.
32:22
It was always a mediated experience.
32:24
Mediated experience led you to seek out the authentic.
32:29
You know, motorsport experience, whether going to see it live or driving or the
32:34
way that you, but all of it, motorsport is always a, uh, a mediated experience.
32:39
Well, that's why when creating this pod, it's relevant for us to be
32:45
talking about the mediated experience.
32:48
That's why to not break down the third wall, you know, the Real Housewives
32:53
third wall that we talked about in an early episode, to not break that
32:56
down is completely inauthentic.
32:59
But, when you break it down, you risk turning what you have, not into Tristram
33:06
Shandy, into just absolute bollocks.
33:28
The other things in terms of advice for people who would drive there, Uh, key
33:31
ones, drink driving is 450 mils of beer.
33:37
So not even a pint and you're over the limit.
33:40
So, you know, be aware, Mr.
33:43
Bear, you know, that's the deal.
33:45
Um, and if you really, you can't drink at all, they're sort of harder core on it.
33:49
So it's less than one pint and you're already over the limit.
33:52
Yeah.
33:52
If you, but in, but in other words, if you have a pint with a meal, you'd
33:57
probably be all right, but I mean, and you're on holiday, so that's the reality.
34:00
That's probably what you're going to do.
34:03
But, you know, at the end of the day, a lot of the beers that they sell, if you
34:05
buy a bottled beer, it'll be a slightly smaller than a pint bottled beer anyway,
34:08
so you're probably fine with one.
34:11
But yeah, I didn't see any police.
34:13
I mean, we weren't really in the hot spots, but I saw one police car, I
34:16
think, in town, and there was one speed camera on the dual carriageway
34:20
that Google Maps had clearly marked and warned us about in advance.
34:25
So the, the, the other thing I would suggest to get it up if you wanted
34:30
to be good, but it's not so not really in the karma of the place.
34:35
You know, I clipped along and about 10 or 15 K's over whatever the local limit was.
34:40
And I was about, you know, I was, I did my usual keep up with the ambient
34:44
flow of what the locals are doing.
34:45
And that was about what they were doing.
34:46
And that was fine.
34:48
Um, so you didn't stand out.
34:49
It's rude to do anything else other than keep up with the ambient flow, because
34:53
you don't want to be the slow person.
34:55
You don't want to be slow poke getting in everybody's way.
34:58
But nor is it polite to be the pushy asshole in somebody else's country.
35:02
No, exactly.
35:02
I mean, if you're in for, you know, driving to work of a morning and late
35:06
and how rassy, then, you know, everyone's done it, but it's not optimal even
35:10
then, because it doesn't, it doesn't exactly enhance your calm, John Spartan.
35:13
Um, but, um, but no, the only, the only other thing I've never been like that.
35:18
I don't know what you're talking about.
35:20
I've never been like that.
35:21
The only other thing I would say is there's an awful lot of
35:23
warning signs in the mountains.
35:25
Uh, the triangular sort of warning signs with the thing in the middle
35:28
and there's nothing in the middle.
35:30
Now when you get right up on them, there is something in the middle.
35:33
It's always wiggly road.
35:35
Always.
35:36
It's just that the sun beats down on them so hard every year that they've all faded.
35:41
So it looks like they're warning you of nothing.
35:44
But just assume if you see a white triangular sign it's wiggly
35:47
roads and you won't go far wrong.
35:50
And you know, again, it's reminding me of the Corsican rally stages you see
35:53
from helicopters here and there when you're winding around in the mountains.
35:56
Because it soft verges most of the time to a bit of gravel and then maybe several
36:01
hundred foot of, you could call the insurance agent on the way down, you know?
36:05
So, pushing it after dark is not a good idea.
36:08
Pushing it at any time is not really a good idea, and pushing
36:10
it after dark, definitely not.
36:12
Especially on, did I mention the goats?
36:14
Who take a kind of proprietorial view of the road a lot of the time,
36:18
and they're not really interested in getting their ass, their fucking
36:21
dirty asses out of the way for you.
36:24
Oh, and there's a picture in the guidebook of goats standing or
36:27
sleeping on cars that have been parked.
36:30
So they say they don't, and certainly when we went to Balos and came back to
36:33
the car park, a goat had chosen our car to shade from the sun next to, and we
36:37
seemed very disgruntled that Angie wanted to get back into the passenger side and
36:42
really was rather truculent about moving.
36:44
It wasn't keen at all, but yeah.
36:47
The other thing to note, uh, other things of note I would point out, uh, big on
36:51
Japanese pickups, like huge on Japanese pickups, like probably 25 percent of
36:56
the cars I saw were Japanese Toyota's.
37:00
80 percent Toyotas, the rest were like Nissans and Mazdas.
37:04
I saw the old Mazda truck as well.
37:06
Um, they like, like regular cabs or like extended cabs?
37:11
Regular cabs and probably between 10 and 25 years old.
37:20
What was the best car you saw on the island?
37:26
Um, I honestly can't remember.
37:30
Um, I quite liked some of the pickups.
37:32
There was a nice Mazda pickup I saw in green that I quite liked the look of.
37:36
Um, but in terms of actual cars around the place, in terms of, I suppose if
37:42
you mean in terms of top trumps, what was the most expensive car I saw?
37:45
I can't even remember.
37:47
Probably some crappy Mercedes.
37:49
What, what, well, like S class or like C class?
37:57
Um, I think I saw one of those weird little boxy ones.
38:01
Are they the M classes?
38:07
Yeah.
38:08
Or an A class.
38:10
Well, whatever.
38:11
Little Mercedes.
38:13
Alright.
38:14
Um, what was the worst car you saw?
38:20
Well, there were quite a lot of things at the side of the road that
38:23
you were like, is that a wreck?
38:24
Or is that ever going to move again?
38:26
No.
38:28
Um.
38:29
And again, most of them were pickups, and I quite liked most of them.
38:32
And I, you know, I can, perhaps, after, what, 35 years of knowing
38:36
you, I'm pretty sure you would have liked all of them as well.
38:39
All four cylinders, or six cylinders too?
38:43
Again, from my little knowledge, I suspect they were all fours.
38:47
Um, What would you have said the most John Summers car was?
38:54
Well, as I say, when I was sitting outside where the old timers have
38:58
their, their beers or their, like, espressos and backgammon, at one point,
39:02
parked outside, there were six cars and they were all Toyota Hiluxes.
39:08
All of them.
39:10
I mean, whether they were Hiluxes, they were all, like, small pickups.
39:12
They looked like Hiluxes to me.
39:14
Um, and, uh, That, that was pretty cool.
39:17
You know, there was, there was at least three or four that you and I
39:20
would have been, Oh, I like that one.
39:21
I quite like that one.
39:23
There was, there was a, ah, actually there was, um, there was.
39:27
On the walk between there and the place, there were three Fiestas next
39:34
to each other, outside this little farm establishment, all with like, stuff
39:38
grown over them and stuff, all clearly bought identical model Fiestas, different
39:43
colours, slightly in states of disrepair.
39:46
But I assume someone had had one, quite liked it, and then thought, well I've got
39:49
space, I'll buy another couple, so I can keep that one going with parts from these
39:53
ones, and then had not got round to it.
39:56
And now I had three knackered, rusting Fiestas down the front.
40:00
But yeah, I mean, here and there, there were some nice cars.
40:03
I mean, I'm a man after my own heart for sure.
40:05
Yeah, I'll do it.
40:05
Absolutely.
40:06
You'd have loved it.
40:06
And he had a really quite nice little sort of spot.
40:09
Um, and again, it's the classic sort of continental style.
40:12
You know, if you give them a promontory, they're going to build a nice little
40:15
house on it with an overlook and probably put an infinity pool in there.
40:19
And, you know, and make sure that, you know, every, that, that
40:22
wall that looks out to sea is all windows in every room of the house.
40:26
So you can, you know, wherever you are.
40:29
You can have a nice view of the sea whilst you're making your breakfast,
40:31
whilst you're eating your lunch, whilst you're sitting watching TV, you can
40:34
see out there, and then if you leave the curtains open in your bedroom,
40:37
you could still be looking out to sea.
40:38
So, um, Yeah, they, they, yeah, it's like you're like, it's, it's,
40:43
you're actually as you're living as part of the, of the ocean.
40:47
Yeah.
40:47
I think that's, I think that's always a nice attention to detail, isn't it?
40:50
So I think, you know, it's, I didn't come away with it really lusting
40:54
after anything, but there was a, you know, a plethora every time you
40:57
drove around to another village, you know, I caught that pick up.
41:00
It was almost about the pickups to me.
41:01
I, after I started spotting them, it's like black crows, you're
41:03
cutting out a fucking everywhere.
41:05
There's all these pickups every time you drive.
41:06
And, Another corner.
41:08
It's another goddamn two or three pickups.
41:10
Oh, this one's a master.
41:11
Oh, this one's a, oh, no, there's another Nissan one.
41:14
Like mainly Hiluxes.
41:30
Bought a few odds and sods from there.
41:32
And that was really nice.
41:32
Cause it did feel like you were in a little private rally special stage at
41:37
like 35 miles an hour to just carve the lines and go slow and enjoy yourself.
41:41
Yeah, at 35 miles on your one four five section tire.
41:45
Yeah, but I mean, Gorgeous, sort of doesn't cut it.
41:49
It's absolutely beautiful.
41:51
And yeah, again here and there just dodge the goats
42:08
So no, I don't thoroughly make a minute, but I I wouldn't you know
42:11
Anyone who might be put off by their sort of worried about the roads
42:14
Don't be worried about the roads.
42:16
Don't be worried about the driving.
42:17
It's absolutely fine.
42:18
Um, I wouldn't recommend those of a nervous disposition drive during the day,
42:23
um, just for the sort of, especially in the mountains, because it is titchy ass
42:26
little narrow roads where here and there it will just randomly narrow to sort
42:30
of one car each way with past stopping places for a bit and then undo that.
42:35
Um, and the goats as they wander around, don't give a shit.
42:38
So if you are nervous disposition and used to perhaps American roads and big
42:42
cars and big lanes, it ain't like that.
42:45
If you're used to driving like hell for leather around scottish sea
42:49
roads, then it's not a problem.
42:52
Most people aren't.
42:53
And again, your stick shift on the other side of the road, on the other side of
42:57
the road, on the other side of the car.
42:58
So again, are you comfortable with that?
43:01
Um, Are you on the right?
43:03
It's, um, it's like same side of the road as England.
43:07
You're driving on the same side of the road as England.
43:09
No, no.
43:10
Same side of the road as the US.
43:11
So other side of the road for me, other side, same side of the road for you.
43:15
But again, I didn't specify stick shift.
43:17
I got stick shift when I bought the smallest, got the smallest car.
43:21
Yeah.
43:21
So.
43:22
Yeah.
43:22
If you're not comfortable with that, you might need to check before you, uh, you,
43:25
you know, in terms of what car you rent.
43:27
Yeah.
43:28
Yeah.
43:29
Cause it's not like Heathrow in terms of being able to get an automatic easily.
43:32
Is it?
43:34
Again, there were quite a lot of cars that are available.
43:36
Um, but there was a re and a loads of like, you know, um, Olympus local
43:43
rental companies and things like that that I'd never heard of and
43:46
looked if you'd have rented from them thinking, go, I'm getting a good deal.
43:50
Yeah.
43:51
You probably were getting a good deal, but they didn't look the highest
43:56
quality establishments when you drove past the sort of the outer lots.
44:01
Once you, Avis and Budget and all that sort of stuff were all right by
44:04
the airport, the other ones further along the track got increasingly sort
44:09
of overrun and disheveled as you got further radial distance from the tarmac.
44:13
Um, so I, I would probably stick with the major, um, uh, major, uh, providers
44:20
there, I think, just for a little bit.
44:21
Well, you just, you don't know what, how the, the cars are potentially
44:27
bodged really badly, aren't they?
44:28
So, uh.
44:29
I mean, look, that said, I rented, um, I think, I don't know if I've
44:31
said it on the podcast before, but I rented a Nissan Micra.
44:35
with steel wheels and all missing wheel caps in white, um, in
44:39
Santorini and drove that around.
44:42
And I mean, that was the most casual drop off of any car I've ever had.
44:48
The landlord arranged it with a mate.
44:51
I said, I'd quite like to rent a car.
44:52
And he went, don't you worry.
44:53
When do you want to rent the car?
44:55
I said, like, right, it's Saturday morning, just for the day, because
44:58
we, you know, we have to check out at 10, and our flight leaves at 9.
45:01
30.
45:02
He was like, no problem, my friend will meet you in the car park,
45:06
just up at the top, like, at 10 o'clock on Saturday morning.
45:10
Okay.
45:11
So we drove up, he went, make sure you're in cash, yeah?
45:14
Yeah, I bet.
45:16
I fucking bet in cash.
45:17
So, no problem.
45:18
So we turn up with a fistful of euros.
45:20
And, uh, he meets us in the car park, this knackered little, like,
45:23
steely wheel, um, uh, Nissan.
45:26
The Nige, as Angie christened it.
45:28
Um, and yeah, we got, we did the paperwork.
45:31
I couldn't read any of it.
45:32
Obviously, it's in Greek.
45:33
Um, signed away my life, potentially, just paid him the thing.
45:37
And I said to him, so am I meeting you at the airport?
45:39
You're well, I'm going to be there at about, you know, seven, 30, you know, I
45:41
mean, he went, no, I will not be there.
45:44
I was like, okay, what do you want me to do with the car?
45:46
He said, what you do is you go to the, the, the, the short stay car park.
45:49
You were not the bit where you go into the barrier.
45:51
I went, okay.
45:52
You know, the bit before he was very clear about Westpark.
45:54
They're fine.
45:55
He said, you park it there.
45:57
I said, yeah, and you'll meet me there.
45:59
No.
46:00
Well, you're going to send a mate to meet me there.
46:02
No, no one will be there to meet you.
46:04
He said, what you do is you get out of the car, you leave it unlocked, and
46:07
you put it underneath the passenger's floor mat, the keys, and you walk away.
46:12
Ha ha ha, yeah.
46:17
Now, I'll tell you, I've rented a lot of cars on a lot of continents, as
46:20
I say, and Avis are not like that.
46:22
They, they are not like that.
46:24
They want a proper check in, they want to check you, they want to check out.
46:28
This geezer didn't give a monkeys.
46:29
So it was very nice to just pull up in the car park, get your bags out,
46:32
lob the keys in, wave goodbye to the knives, and just stroll into the airport.
46:36
That was about as casual as it gets.
46:38
And again, didn't get any comeback from it, he had no problem.
46:41
It's not like, it's not like that in Switzerland.
46:43
In Switzerland, they are inspecting everything with a, it's like
46:48
Sherlock Holmes with a microscope.
46:50
There is a small scrape on the inside of the door handle where,
46:56
where your ring finger grazed.
47:01
Yeah, that sounds very, very Swiss.
47:03
Um.
47:04
They were all right in Paris.
47:05
The last time I, I did it, I had a car in Paris and, uh, You know, I, I
47:10
mean, I didn't do any damage to it.
47:12
So, uh, you know, I leaned on it a bit and it was a bit dirty and it got a
47:17
few extra miles on it, but it didn't have, it wasn't wearing lots of damage.
47:21
Can you believe that dog silent all the time you're talking and then
47:26
barking again when I'm talking?
47:28
I hear you.
47:29
I mean, he's probably sitting there thinking, Well, that
47:30
bastard's yapping all the time.
47:31
Why can't I?
47:34
Well, he's right, isn't he?
47:55
Well, my hapless listener, it's, uh, Editor John coming
47:59
to, uh, wrap up the, the show.
48:02
Um, I guess, skillfully, I, uh, I forgot to ask Mark to wrap up the show
48:09
and we blethered on about stuff in our personal lives, uh, um, so yeah,
48:16
so as they used to say at the end of, uh, of the two Rollies, it's goodbye
48:21
from me and it's goodbye from him.
48:45
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