Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / The Halloween Walk of SHAME

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The Halloween Walk of SHAME · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I want to get into your embarrassing Halloween walk of shame.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: We do it every year.
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  Speaker 1: Alyssa, your walk of shame, Halloween walk of shame.
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  Speaker 2: You have a story?
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  Speaker 3: I do.
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  Speaker 4: So this happened like last year. I was out in
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  Speaker 4: Old Town, and I saw this guy dressed as a
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  Speaker 4: sexy cowboy, which is my type to a tease. So
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  Speaker 4: I went home with him, of course, and he looked young,
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  Speaker 4: like around my age, so I was surprised when.
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  Speaker 5: His house was massive in this gated community.
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  Speaker 4: Regardless, we hook up, and it was awesome. He was
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  Speaker 4: like a freaky cowboy for sure. He literally ripped my
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  Speaker 4: witch costume off. But when I woke.
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  Speaker 5: Up, he had already left for his job, so... The
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  Speaker 5: dress that he tore I couldn't wear anymore, and the
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  Speaker 5: only clothes I could find were his cowboy boots, his hat,
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  Speaker 5: and a pair of assless chaps that could barely cover anything.
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  Speaker 5: So I had to walk past the neighborhood security guard
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  Speaker 5: looking like I had just escaped a stripper rodeo, and
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  Speaker 5: the security guard actually stopped me and asked if I
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  Speaker 5: was part of an event.
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  Speaker 1: Pull a t-shirt out of his drawer.
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  Speaker 6: Did you look that hard?
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  Speaker 3: I feel like if you went in his closet, you
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  Speaker 3: might be able to get a t-shirt.
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  Speaker 2: It was an empty house that he was showing that
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  Speaker 2: he took you back. There was no closer. I don't understand.
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  Speaker 2: You're in his house. Could you open a drawer?
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, there was nothing.
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  Speaker 3: This was the only thing that I could find.
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  Speaker 5: I don't, I didn't, I didn't really understand where the
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  Speaker 5: closets were.
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  Speaker 2: Let's see where the story goes. What else happened? You
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: ever talk to him again?
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  Speaker 7: No.
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  Speaker 2: Honestly, I never talked to him again.
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  Speaker 6: Those are the only pair of pants I have in
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  Speaker 6: my house. Right. If you look in my closet, you
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  Speaker 6: can see I have no sweatpants or shorts. Nothing you
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  Speaker 6: could afford.
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  Speaker 4: Well, I felt like saying to the security guard, the
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  Speaker 4: event I was part of was making the worst decision
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  Speaker 4: of my life.
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  Speaker 5: I never talked to him again. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I'm assuming you didn't go to his house. He took
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  Speaker 2: you somewhere else.
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  Speaker 5: Right.
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  Speaker 6: He took you to an empty apartment.
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  Speaker 2: There was no clothes anywhere except his Ashley's Chats.
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  Speaker 6: There was a dress where it was empty.
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  Speaker 2: Okay. That's a crazy story. That is a walk of shame.
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  Speaker 2: That is hard to understand. Thanks, Alyssa. Thanks for calling in.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you. 877-937-1047.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: We want to hear about your Hollywood, Hollywood, Halloween, or
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Hollywood walk of shame.
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  Speaker 2: Sam, your story. Good morning.
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  Speaker 7: Morning.
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  Speaker 6: Morning.
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  Speaker 7: Okay, so I met this girl one year at a
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  Speaker 7: Halloween party who was dressed like a sexy cat, and
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  Speaker 7: she was kind of like acting like a cat all night,
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  Speaker 7: you know, like burning my ear, doing all sorts of
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  Speaker 7: stuff like that.
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  Speaker 1: So.
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  Speaker 7: She asked me to come back with her to her place. And,
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  Speaker 7: you know, I probably tripped over myself getting us to
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  Speaker 7: the Uber. But we hooked up, and I wake up,
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  Speaker 7: and I find that she's left a note for me
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  Speaker 7: saying that she had to go to work, but that,
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  Speaker 7: you know, I let myself out whenever. So I get
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  Speaker 7: my stuff together, and I get dressed, and I head
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  Speaker 7: over to work. And, you know, luckily, I dressed as
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  Speaker 7: a businessman, so, like, I could just re-wear my clothes
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  Speaker 7: on the drive over. But... I'm getting into my car
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  Speaker 7: and I feel something on my back. So I turn
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  Speaker 7: and I look down and I realize she's glued the
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  Speaker 7: tail from her costume onto my pants as a joke.
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  Speaker 6: That's a funny joke.
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  Speaker 2: A businessman with a tail. What a great costume.
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  Speaker 6: Okay, and?
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  Speaker 7: Well, I mean, I can't get it off without ripping
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  Speaker 7: my pants and I have to get to work. So
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  Speaker 7: I just drive across town with a big furry tail
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  Speaker 7: and She probably broke your taillight, too. She'd have to
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  Speaker 7: get out of the car.
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  Speaker 4: She'd have to break your tail.
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  Speaker 7: The cop walks up, he looks at me, and he
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  Speaker 7: sees the tail. He's like, I'm doing my best to
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  Speaker 7: hide it, but it's not good enough. And he just goes,
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  Speaker 7: I'm not even going to ask.
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  Speaker 2: That was nice of him. So if you're a cop
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  Speaker 2: and you get so there's a big tail that's glued
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  Speaker 2: to your pants.
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  Speaker 5: Right.
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  Speaker 2: So you're driving.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm assuming the tail is long and it's as
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  Speaker 1: you're driving. I'm visually picturing this long tail between your
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  Speaker 1: legs because you're driving.
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  Speaker 7: Right.
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  Speaker 1: You're sitting on it. You're like, what the hell? So
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  Speaker 1: then the cop pulls you over. And if you think
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  Speaker 1: about the cops looking at you as he pulls you over,
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  Speaker 1: he sees you moving weirdly because you've got to move
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  Speaker 1: this tail out of the way. So he's probably thinking,
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  Speaker 1: what's up with this guy? What's he hiding?
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  Speaker 2: Right. What's he got? It looks suspicious.
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  Speaker 1: And then he walks up to you and you're like,
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  Speaker 1: it's a tail. He's got to be like, all right,
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  Speaker 1: never mind. Just step out of the car, sir.
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  Speaker 2: Put your hands up. Step out of the car. That's
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  Speaker 2: a tail. Anyway, great story, Sam.
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  Speaker 6: All right. Interesting.
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  Speaker 2: Do you ever see her again or no?
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  Speaker 7: No, don't know what happened to her. The cop let
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  Speaker 7: me off with a warning.
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  Speaker 2: That's good.
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  Speaker 6: You know. There's a win.
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  Speaker 7: That was good.
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  Speaker 1: I was confused what I was going to do for
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  Speaker 1: this Halloween, but I am thinking of taking your idea
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  Speaker 1: and being a businessman.
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  Speaker 7: I mean, you can be a businessman with a tail.
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  Speaker 2: All right. Thanks, Sam. Have a great day.
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  Speaker 5: Thanks.
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  Speaker 2: Halloween Walk of Shame.
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  Speaker 8: 877-937-1047.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Good morning, Kira. You're on the air.
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  Speaker 8: Hi.
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  Speaker 6: Hey, what's your story?
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  Speaker 1: So, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So one year for Halloween, I dressed as a sexy
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  Speaker 3: tiger and I left the party with a guy that
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  Speaker 3: I had met there and he was dressed as Batman.
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  Speaker 3: So the next morning, I stayed over at his house.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: So the next morning, I'm walking down the driveway, and
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  Speaker 3: in my cat ears and a big hoodie and his sweatpants,
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  Speaker 3: and I couldn't find my shoes.
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  Speaker 7: I quickly ordered an Uber.
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  Speaker 3: And I didn't look at any of the details of
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  Speaker 3: the person driving. So when the car pulls up, I
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  Speaker 3: open the door, and behind the wheel of the Uber
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  Speaker 3: is my dad.
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  Speaker 2: OK.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So my dad drives for Uber sometimes and borrowed my
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  Speaker 3: uncle's car to make extra money that weekend. And he
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  Speaker 3: just stares at me and says, get in, Tiger Queen.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, my God.
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  Speaker 8: He knows.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, my God.
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  Speaker 1: I'm mortified.
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  Speaker 2: You got it back. Oh, no, Dad.
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  Speaker 3: I'm like silently praying that he'll just drive me home.
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  Speaker 3: But halfway there, he gets a notification from the app
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  Speaker 3: that the ride is complete. And he said, you know
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  Speaker 3: what's funny? Your mom's going to see this trip on
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  Speaker 3: the account. So I'm like, fortified even more. And he
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  Speaker 3: asks if Batman was at least nice enough to buy
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  Speaker 3: me breakfast. Like, he's making this a whole joke, just
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  Speaker 3: really tormenting me further and further. And since then, he
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  Speaker 3: has called me Tiger Queen at every family gathering.
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  Speaker 2: Gross. Have you seen Batman since, or was that a
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  Speaker 2: one-night stand with Batman?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: No, that was a one-night thing.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, how fun for dad to pick up his daughter
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  Speaker 2: at a one-night stand.
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  Speaker 7: It really is worse, though, when, like, it's one thing
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  Speaker 7: if your mom knows.
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  Speaker 2: It's another thing.
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  Speaker 7: If your dad knows.
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  Speaker 3: And then, like, calls you Tiger Queen.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, no, dad. That is totally something my dad would do.
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  Speaker 6: So gross.
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  Speaker 2: That's terrible.
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  Speaker 3: He really took it, that extra step to be like,
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  Speaker 3: if this is what you're going to put me through,
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  Speaker 3: we're going to make it even worse for you.
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  Speaker 4: And just Couldn't take it.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, my God.
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  Speaker 2: You're already doing the walk of shame, and then your
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  Speaker 2: dad pulls up.
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  Speaker 6: I almost don't know who I feel worse for, Kira
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  Speaker 6: or her dad.
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  Speaker 2: Her dad. I feel like her dad. Oh, but your
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  Speaker 2: dad had humor about it. That's terrible. All right, Kira,
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  Speaker 2: thanks for calling in. That is terrible. Bryce, good morning.
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  Speaker 2: What happened to you?
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  Speaker 8: I went to like a party in one of those
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  Speaker 8: giant inflatable penis costumes. And then I ended up going
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  Speaker 8: home with this girl. And, you know, that wasn't a mistake.
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  Speaker 8: But the next morning, I'm walking like three blocks back
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  Speaker 8: to my car because I left it at the party.
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  Speaker 8: And I'm still wearing the costume because it was either
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  Speaker 8: that or one of her juicy track sets, you know. Which,
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  Speaker 8: I mean, looking back, maybe I should have taken.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 8: But in the moment, I decided the costume was a
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  Speaker 8: better move. So I'm waddling down the sidewalk, barely able
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  Speaker 8: to see through my mesh window, right, where my face is,
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  Speaker 8: when somebody honks. And I turn and look, and it's
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  Speaker 8: my boss. He rolls down his window, and he's like,
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  Speaker 8: rough night, Johnson? And I couldn't even, like, respond.
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  Speaker 6: Is your name Johnson, or was he just calling you
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  Speaker 6: that because of your costume?
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  Speaker 8: No, he was just calling me Johnson because of my costume.
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  Speaker 6: But could he see you? About, like, your face?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah.
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  Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah. I didn't have, like, the whole hood zipped up. But, like,
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  Speaker 8: so you could kind of see me. But, like, I
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  Speaker 8: still had, like, a window, right, where my face was.
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  Speaker 8: And so, like, he drove away laughing. And I'm just, like, stunned.
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  Speaker 8: And I walk into the office Monday morning. And he
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  Speaker 8: looks at me and he goes, everybody, this is Johnson.
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  Speaker 8: He's really committed to standing out.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 8: And, yeah, I appreciate it.
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  Speaker 6: Did anybody get the joke? I guess he explained it
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  Speaker 6: before you got in.
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  Speaker 8: No, they were all just really confused. I had a
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  Speaker 8: couple of people that I'm friends with at my job
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  Speaker 8: ask me about it. And I told them what happened
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  Speaker 8: because I didn't have a good lie ready to go.
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  Speaker 8: But I'm pretty sure my career is over.
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  Speaker 2: I think you're fine.
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  Speaker 6: If he could make a joke about it. It's not
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  Speaker 6: like you were at work.
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  Speaker 2: He's got a sense of humor about it. Here's the thing.
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  Speaker 1: That impresses me the most out of this story is
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  Speaker 1: that you went to a party in a giant inflatable
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  Speaker 1: penis costume and you hooked up with a girl.
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  Speaker 6: That's some mojo.
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  Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying? That's some swag. What
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  Speaker 2: was she wearing? What did you do? How did that happen?
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  Speaker 1: You know, because at some point, like you said, you
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  Speaker 1: had the, Show your face, show your personality.
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  Speaker 2: Like, how did that happen, Johnson? I mean, you know,
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  Speaker 2: it's Halloween.
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  Speaker 8: Sometimes the spirit moves people.
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  Speaker 6: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 1: You look at someone, I just would think that out
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  Speaker 1: of all the costumes there are, one that's not one
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  Speaker 1: that's going to really connect to people and make someone go,
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  Speaker 1: that guy's sexy. It's a giant penis costume. That is, well,
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  Speaker 1: you must be really handsome. Did you already know the
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  Speaker 1: girl before you hooked up with her or you met
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  Speaker 1: her there?
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  Speaker 8: I mean, I'd met her before, but we definitely hadn't
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  Speaker 8: hooked up or anything before the party.
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  Speaker 2: Have you seen her since then?
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  Speaker 8: No, we talked a little bit, but we haven't seen
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  Speaker 8: each other again.
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  Speaker 2: I figure she's like, I'm not going out with that
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  Speaker 2: guy again. He was in a penis costume.
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  Speaker 6: She's like, yeah, no thanks. Or maybe that's where he
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  Speaker 6: looks the best, and he doesn't look good in normal clothes.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, man. Well, thanks for sharing that story, Bryce.
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  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah. Thanks, guys.
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  Speaker 2: Halloween Walk of Shame, 877-937-1047.