Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #249 Officially DONE With Kids' Sport

Transcript

#249 Officially DONE With Kids' Sport · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Who is your favorite Blue character outside of the family
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: of Blue.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know who they are. I don't really watch
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: that much Blue.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Dude. That's an Australian of you not not to not
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: be on your level, because I want to be where
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: you are.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know me. I was just asking you, but
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: I was just gonna say whatever. Used it.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: There's I don't chili bandit Blue and the Orange one, the.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Orange one, the other characters. They don't even on my radar,
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I've gone. I asked the question,
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: and I went mentally blaming as soon as I said it.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: On the other one, you can know you can have
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: a favorite just because I don't have a favorite.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: You can. Don't be scared. I don't know who they are.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Come on, come out and say it. Don't be Muffin.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I like Muffin. She's a bitch. Muffin and socks socks.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: He socks Muffin's sister or brother.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I'll have to take your word for it.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: I'm not being paying attention. Sorry, guys, We'll let slide.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: It's on Australian. You're right to all of this and
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: it's the best. Let's be honest. Of course.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, chili is pretty amazing.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: You shut up.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Actually, someone said that vict sounds like chili. Can you
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: give us your best chilli impersonation?
• 1:01
  Speaker 5: Oh god, Welcome back to Two Dads.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I'm battye Jays and this is the podcast all about parenting.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Bad and relatable and we don't give advice.
• 1:31
  Speaker 6: You watch that already?
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: No, sorry, No, it's because we just started. No, I
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I got a message,
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: threw my phone onto my watch and it was from
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Laura because we're a little bit late today, and that's fine.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: A little bit late.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I normally pick up the kids, but I've had to
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: put the call out there to the team and said, look, guys,
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: I cannot collect the kids. Laura, can you collect?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: And I didn't hear back from her, And have fucking.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Phone it's attached to her is always on do not disturb,
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: And I say to her, hey, after you finish your
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: podcast record, make sure you turn it off because I
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: cannot reach you and it's so frustrating, and she never listens.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Jump into her phone and just change it so that
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: you only can get in contact, no matter the focus
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: you can do that. Yeah, I've changed it so that
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: even if I'm napping, you can still.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Call me, not just a pretty face.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: There you go. But so she just replied, just replied,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: everyone's probably very stressed right now, Like who's going to
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: pick up the kids? Relax, Laura has a message. She's
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: collecting them. And that came through. So when I saw
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Cindy come through. My wife is named Cindy because that's
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: what she was called when we were on a show
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: called The Bachelor, because that's how we met nine years ago.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Wow, news to me.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: I think the show actually is anniversary is coming up
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: quite so anyway.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which anniversary do you? There's too many.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: It's like the anniversary of when we met, like actual
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: face to face when the show went on air. And
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: do we celebrate the first episode? But we first met
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: all the last episode when I fucked Wow.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Wow, you know, yeah, there's another way to put that.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Made love. Sorry, you're right, sorry, Vick, they sweet sweat.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: Of your children.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: She gave me a lot of shit today about it.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: We only record two episodes a day. In one day.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that's because we're having fun and you know,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: and and it was like we're having fun.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Was like, you're just real fun. What we took a while,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: what we're doing.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: We have some sishy that sucked eperiod of time.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: How many episodes do they record?
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Three? I was there for one, so I can tell
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: you that much.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I think that this is life on
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: cart by the way, they do three in a day maybe,
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: and then they.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Do sometimes off cuts. They've got a team, a full team.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: She's shamed me. She's like, you're there for the whole
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: day and just two episodes.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: A lot of planning, it's not just recording.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we have to, like we have to suck ourselves
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: up anymore.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I'd quit, I'll be honest.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: People have been asking, They're like, we one more episodes.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Now, hurry me up on a day to do more
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: on quit. I got nothing else to give. This is
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: this is it. If you come to the end of
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: the week and you want more, create your own fucking podcast.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: You're greedy, very greedy, but we're thankful.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Maybe one day anyway, Moving on.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Can I just say to say, started this morning with
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: a swim.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: That is that is wow.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: If I go to the gym and I jump in
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: the water, almost not until right before I get the kids.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: But I dropped off Poppy. Sorry, Lola, bloody hell. Sorry,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: And I was like, brain, don't stuff this up.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: He's like, I got you. What was dropped off? Lola
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: went for a little dip. Just nice morning.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: There's something about mornings. There's something that and being outside
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: the house.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I can't get out of bed lately.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Was it cold in the water, Yeah, but it was wet,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: it was, it was how do you know it was cold?
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: It was, but it was rejuvenating. Yeah.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I sometimes spend too much time in
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: that bloody house. Yeah.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I used to be able to do morning things. But
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: now at the moment, I don't know what it is.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: It's just it is seasonal depression, Isn't that what it is?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Sad?
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: It's sad.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: It's the acronym of seasonal effective disorder depression.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know what the D stands for, but yeah,
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: it sucks.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Manly manly playing so bad.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Oh thanks for that, thank you for that. We're both
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: we're both at least you've got a Premiership.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: We're both teams.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I had to tell Oscar, poor Oscar, oh so much heartbreak.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: It will harden him up. Okay, resilient.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Last time we spoke, you were like, I'm going to
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: manage my emotions better after the game, and I messaged
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: you and I was like, I know your team's doing
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: really ship right now. I care about you. Do you
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: need to go?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: You might as well have said that. I just asked you.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I was like, I said, how are you going?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I said, I'm just consoling a broken hearted seven year old?
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Because he was broken hearted?
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: But that's foot right, Why don't just play him a
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: game from the next game. Yeah, just play a game
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: and a couple of weeks ago. I just pretend like
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: it's like.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I go come here. So I'm going to
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: show you the greatest day of my life, as like.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Is it your wedding? No, it's a two thousand and
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: eight Grand Final.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Just playing that and he's like Grand Final again, I
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: played this is Melbourne and you're.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Like, yeah, yeah, I've played him it actually, but we
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: scored majority of the points in the second half, so
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: the first half was like this is boring.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: He likes points.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: I get it.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I was very mindful this time.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Actually, to answer your question, I was got a little
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: bit cranky and then I was like, okay, no, all right.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: And before the game started, I said to Oscar, I
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: don't care if we win to lose to that, I
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: just want us to put in an effort.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: And I think they did.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: There was some mistakes, did they know anyway, So I
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: got to the end, it got to like close to
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: the end, and I said to Oscar, I said, hey,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: do yourself a favor and turn it off, and he
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: started crying.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I gave my heart and I said, hey, listen,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: do you know the.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Last time Manly won a Grand Final was fifteen years ago,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: So I've gone through fifteen years of this this feeling
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: since then.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Get used to it. Remember No, I was much more aware.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Of my behavior around it too, just to show that
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: it's like I am an adult.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: So anyway, you're a big boy.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: And then I said, it's okay to lose because when
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: you finally do win, it's so much sweeter.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: You've got to have the lows to appreciate the high.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Absolutely remember that.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Write that down. Thank you.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: I need to apologize to Diana, not the princess.
• 7:34
  Speaker 6: Who's that?
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: So Diana, I.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: Don't think she listens.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, well someone will get into it.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: So what happened was netball. This is this is going
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: to be an episode about kids sport. This is a
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: real life focus. But just quickly, you know, I think
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: the parents who put their hand up and so I
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: will be the team manager for this sport that takes
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: a level of bravery that I think we don't appreciate enough. Yeah, look,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: you couldn't, I mean none of the most we'll talk
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I got riped into it this week, but we'll talk
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: about that shortly. You couldn't, I mean, you so kind,
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: you couldn't handle it.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I don't think you could.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: You. I want to do it to fucking smite. Smite.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, so well, I actually the story I'm about to
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: tell is evidence that I would not be good. So Diana,
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: legend of a parent, has put a hand up. She's like,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I'm going to manage netble, right, So she's got to
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: wrangle all the parents, make sure they're across, like all
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: the training because the training times for us, they start
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: on a Monday, then a couple of weeks later the
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Thursdays and they go back to Monday. Who knows when
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: the game start. I have no idea. But also just
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: a simple senateship registration money because she's she's paid it
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: up front. The legend Diana.
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: Make her squam for it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: And you've also there's three sizes costly K E, K, ten,
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: K twelve. Okay, what are you going to get for
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: the dress size?
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it. But she's like, guys, for God's sake,
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: give me your dress size.
• 9:06
  Speaker 7: I don't know what.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: And she's just chasing me. She's now messaging me direct
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: being like, you owe me the money just right next thing.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: We're not playing anymore. You're taking the fun out of it.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Like she bumps into me drop off in the morning
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: and she's like, give me the fucking money, and I'm like,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: it's coming. I'm good for it, Diana, please, And she
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: had poor things. And then I missed the first training
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: session I was doing drop off and my sister was like, you.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Have the audacity to tell me that I wouldn't be
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: good at this you of all people, It's.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Just not in my orbit right now. It will be,
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: but not right now.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I coached a soccer team from the age of eighteen
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: three years.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: It was go On.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: We started as under eight. Yeah, I was me and
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: a mate. We're both eighteen and hungover every game. Parents
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: loved us because the kids listened to it because they
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: were like, you're not like parents, You're like cool, we're
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: probably so so arrogant obviously, I know, but we like
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: we well. I actually had a good time then, but
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: now I couldn't do it full time.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Paid for that, No, they paid us in bottles of
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: liquor at the end of the season.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Why would you do it?
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: We both played, Me and my mate both played for
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: their correct dances. Because you're doing it for the kids. No, okay,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: definitely not. I definitely wasn't doing it for the kids.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: It was a part of our registration that got paid for.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I was eighteen. I don't give a.
• 10:28
  Speaker 7: Fuck about kids as well, and I was always like
• 10:32
  Speaker 7: why though, But then now that we actually have a
• 10:34
  Speaker 7: kid who does sport, he doesn't want to coach.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Thanks.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: The guys are so confusing.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: People grow out of it.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: But as part of our registration, because we didn't pay
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: they they're like, you've got to help out in the
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: community and do that.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: But we actually really enjoyed it, and the parents loved.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Us because obviously the kids were like feral but we
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: used to just make him do push ups and ship.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: But now I couldn't know.
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: Definitely not not full time.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Who has who has time for people? Love it? Some
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: people do.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: And to those people, to those parents, thank you, thank.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: You, flaky. Yeah, they are the backbone or the backbone
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: of society. Yeah, the parents who actually put their hand
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: because it's volunteer. Like, I kind of want the glory.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I want the power without any other work.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: But I like the idea. I like the idea of it.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: It is one of those things I once I'm very needy, Okay,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I have low self esteem.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: No, you don't do You've grown go on.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: I was like, could I be president of the p
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: and C Club.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: That's a fucking flex I start swinging your dick around here.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I want to be rect the p and C meetings.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: What we do is I want to work. I just
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: want to know if I can do it, Like if
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: I can get to the top. Once I'm there, I
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: won't last. I just want to see if I can.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I could handle you doing it
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: me personally, because the rest of us are the ones
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: who suffer you.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Like once you go for the I want to run
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: a marathon. Me president of the PNC club, Just do it.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I will one day well campaign for you.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: You'll do it before Poppy finishes primary school?
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, how many years is that a long time? Which
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: one's Poppy again? I will talk to you about that.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I got roped into poaching shortly, Okay, But for now,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: we've got some serious businesses.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: To get Yeah, please take it away.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: We're just talking about seasonal you getting me being sad.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I have been sad.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know why, trying to figure it out back
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: on meds, but I just wanted.
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: To give it.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: We have a lot of parents to listen to us,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: mainly what I know. So sorry for the shouting. Yeah,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: And I had my blood's.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Done early this year when I started not drinking, but
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I decided to go back and do them again because
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I need to go and see the cardioloist because my
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: dad had a heart attack at thirty nine and I'm
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: edging towards that. And I also saw that Jeremy Clarkson
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: had prostate cancer, found it early enough, it was aggressive,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: and it made me think about Okay, well, I'm sort
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: of in the mid to late thirties now, and I
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: have noticed that it takes me longer to WII. I
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: also always feel like I need to wi, I feel
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: like something wasn't right. So I just want to let
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: you know that I've booked in to get my prostate checked.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: It's a blood test now and since you about something
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: you had cancer, No, no, you would have known.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah Jesus Christ. Anyway, I'm gonna make it.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Ah.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: So no, but my dad and my grandfather both had
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: as my mom likes to call it, old man prostate.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: So I thought I'll get ahead of it.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: And so the reason I'm telling you is, I think
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: that you should send this to your husband so that
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: he can get ahead of.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: It too, can I ask? And I think it's no
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: longer done. That was the finger in the asshole?
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Well it used to be.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: They used to go in and massage the prostate. Now
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: you've got to pay for that sort of But it's
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: a blood test.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: If you're sitting there as a dad with young kids
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: and you're worried about getting a finger in your ars,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: worry no more unless you want me to put my finger.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: But it's a blood test, that's it.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it can tell a lot, but there's are
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: some factors that can give a false reading.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: They're like, if you get a.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: False reading, to do it again, because sometimes just what you've
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: done the day before and stuff like that can impact it.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: So you're getting the blood's done, yeah this week.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Oh and then when you get the results, I should
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: get them in within like a week.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: Can I go you one better?
• 14:31
  Speaker 7: While you're getting your blood's done, why don't you just
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: get checked to absolutely everything and just make sure your health.
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: Is tip top?
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Who signed for that?
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: It's the same blood test.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: I'll work through it. Yeah, I'm getting a bunch of
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: things in the same blood test, like testosterone all that
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: sort of stuff. Honestly, it takes me like so long
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: to piss really. Yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: Dan's the same though.
• 14:51
  Speaker 7: I don't know if you'd be happy for me sharing this,
• 14:54
  Speaker 7: but he was the same and so he got checked
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: as well, same thing, and he was he was fine.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: It could just be an age.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Actually show us a photo of dance cop again us again.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: Word to them, you've probably seen it.
• 15:11
  Speaker 7: But since turning thirty five and then forty and so forth,
• 15:14
  Speaker 7: we've been really strict on like getting our full blood's
• 15:17
  Speaker 7: taken every year so that we can make sure that
• 15:19
  Speaker 7: we're across anything in case it pops up, especially because
• 15:22
  Speaker 7: of the kids.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I went twelve years or something so that getting test.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but you're still very young.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Actually, do you know what?
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: I started having a little sore tooth and it's really
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: what was that funny yours?
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I could be dying and you're like anyway, so I'm
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: going to really.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: Reminded me.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: It's reminded me. Check on your teeth, check on your
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: friends and your teeth anyway.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: I've never been I've been a gentists in forever. Have
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: great teeth, but it's very sensitive.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, you better put a finger up your butt if
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I have a glass of cold water, Like, what does
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: that mean? Okay, I'm trying to tell us he's got
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: sensitive teeth. Oh you poor thing. I'll report back next
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: week with the update of my teeth.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Oh no, no update on your blood sensor on Actually, okay,
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: answer me this. You don't wake up in the middle
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: of the night anymore. Whatever I have to get up
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: to feed Poppy doesn't matter if it's midnight, one o'clock,
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: two o'clock, I always have to piss first.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was it this morning.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I got up quite early because the dog was barking
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: at the door.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Right, and I needed to pee, took the dog out
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: so she could do a bee, came back to do
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: a pee, and I stood there go on and then
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I was literally, you know when you like try and
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: stay half asleep so you can go back to sleep.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I was wide awake.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: I hate that.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I'd pretty much on a full day's work before I
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: actually started pissing, so I'd like, there's something not right here.
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: So anyway we'll see.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry you're going through that.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: No, no, just I'm just trying to figure out why
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I'm sad.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, maybe you're missing me.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: That's not it, miss Dan. I'm just kidding. I don't
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: know he misses you. Guys. Oh good.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: I actually need to get it. I need to get
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: him back over. I've got some work, nothing exciting, anything exciting.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Don't get your hopes up.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: All of my home runners are starting to fall apart.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Can I can? I actually can? I actually? Hang on.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I don't want to bring you in this environment because
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: we're here for a good time, a couple of lolls.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: I don't want to criticize anyone, but I just want
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: to ask you one question right now. What is stopping
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: you from finishing the work in your house. You're so close.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: It's ADHD so close because you're doing these videos things
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: my wife say and I'm looking at the skirting skirting, good,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: What's what's going on there?
• 17:54
  Speaker 7: Good?
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Dwn over me. Durn's free. He messaged me.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: He's like, yeah, I think I'm going to need.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: To self conscious and come and be like who the
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: fuck did this?
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: On the way till I've moved out of that house
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: before people start saying that stuff.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Now it's more, it's more.
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: Time at the moment.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: But when you know, like do you want down to
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: come up? No, let me get to a point and
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: then you want to sit down.
• 18:14
  Speaker 7: He will not judge you in the slightest. He is
• 18:18
  Speaker 7: like the kindest person in the world.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Whatever.
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: Look at that and be like, oh ship, you're mad.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: It's there's a couple of bits and bobs that I
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: that I need to do and that I do need.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: There are some things that I know that I can't do.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: So when I get to that point, we could all
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: do it together. No, that's my worst nightmare. Just get
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: down into that's what we do on Tuesday.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, do you want to all at your house?
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: No precial recording you won't go through my things.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Matt does like to walk into people's rooms.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: Guilty.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. The first time he walked into my new place,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: he walked intok a ship in the en suite and
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: walked on.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: I'm not allowed to shot someone's house.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: There's another bathroom for that.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: You were in your you were showing me you're on swite,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: and then I had to pooh.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: You're like, get out. Who knows what you did in there?
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: So you know it was a shit like what else
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: want to be doing in that?
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: It's still lingering, okay.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Chris Dixon, he is a dodor. He's told me he's
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: an absolute legend of a bloke. He is trying to
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: break a world record. He's intending to run the record
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: for the longest distance on a treadmill in seven days.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: It is just shy of a thousand kilometers n one
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: hundred and twelve. For those playing at home, he's raising money.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: On a treadmill on a fucking hell. Imagine the head
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: noise on that treadmill.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: I can I did five minutes on a trim and
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I'm like, get me off this thing.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: A tell, as long as I've done his twelve k's
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: on brutal hated it.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: It's like it's torture.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: All said, Well, he's doing for seven days, but he's
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: doing it for an amazing cause.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: It's raising money and.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Awareness for free three D hands for children with a
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: limb disability. His daughter, Gracie, was born without one of
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: her hands.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Absolute legend.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Will put details in the show notes if you would
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: like to donate to Chris Dixon.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Chris Dixon, Chris Dixon. Great name, great solid name, great name.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Can we talk about the elephant in the room.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Well, let's talk about the elephant in every parent's living
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: room right now, and that is Ushi's. Yes. I feel
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: like it's the biggest stitch up in the world. It's
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: very it's very addictive. I've just the arguments. I'm having
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: a separating my house.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: Our school. As of yesterday they banned them. But that
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: feeds the fire even more, just put fuel on it.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I think about prison, they ban everything in there, and
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, it's that's becomes part of
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: the problem.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm like.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Up his butt, That's what I'm saying. How many have
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: you got?
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Right and ask for this? How many you got so many?
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: How many are we talking.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Well, they keep getting them from us, and then they
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: getting them from Popper and they come home from school
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: with one, like they're everywhere.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: My Lula's got eight, miles got five.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish we had that many.
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: I've got fucking hell.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: I'll go, I'll get a video later, bring you some.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: They're attached to them, these kids. I can't take them.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: But the only one good thing is I can use
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: them against them to get them to do things like
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: clean like you know, like go to bed or I'm
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: coming in because some of them below in the dark
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: now and they are choking hazard.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: A lot of plastic, a lot of plastic.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: But just such a genius marketing ploy the ushies.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah for them, but it's just painful for us.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: Can I ask where does one get ushes?
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: Because we have none peasants.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: We don't go to the supermar Yeah, well we get
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: to live way way way way way way.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: You know, where do you get your food from?
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: By Aldi?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, that's very good. Aldi is great, It is great.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I prefer Aldi over Woolies. I just don't have time
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: for it. I think if you spend over thirty bucks
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: with Woolies, you get.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Oscar was like, I can't believe that he's cost
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: thirty bucks. Let me explain a concept to you, sir.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Your food we eat, you buy x amount, you get
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: x amount on top. But then also as well, if
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: you're walking through the shop with your kids and you're
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: going through to get a couple of things not thirty
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: olards worth the olders and stuff, will just start offering
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: them to my kids like no, and oscars like may.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: They're feeding the problem.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: They're painful at least they're not sharp to stand on
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: like other things.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Do you know what it would be good to have
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: something collectible which has larger ROI.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: They're just collecting them and then fighting over them.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: It's just like usually doesn't do much now and they
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: go on the end of a pencil.
• 22:39
  Speaker 7: But okay, take yourselves back to when you were kids,
• 22:41
  Speaker 7: like for example, McDonald's when they used to put out
• 22:44
  Speaker 7: the happy meals and.
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: Used to collect all the toys like that was one
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: of the most exciting things. Is a little bit.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: It was more of a fireworks kid.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: The three crazies that I remember from from my days
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: in primary school.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Marbles were big.
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Grade two here was.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: This Yeah, oh wait, we bake I keep.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: Getting your fucking fifteen years old still marbles, little little
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: boy over here?
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: Did you not have marbles at school?
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: No, I'm different.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, where I come from in Queensland, you are a
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: bit behind.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: The marbles were all the right.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: You'd have the big junkers and you'd have a fight
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: over who would get.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: It and what do you do is marbles just like
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: craps Well.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I didn't like the concept of losing my marbles, like
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: because you would have competitions where you were like my
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: first game I lost, had to give away my favorite
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: marble and I.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Was like, never again, devastated. I came home and Mom
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: was like, how was school? That happened in the morning.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: I held on to my tears all day, got home
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: and I was like, my favorite.
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: One heart breaking.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: There's obviously Pokemon Across was huge, like Through Shadow we
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: had Tasos and sh Yeah, well there's always something, but
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: at the moment's ushues and I'm hating it.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I'm absolutely hating it. Can I give you some advice here?
• 23:57
  Speaker 6: We don't give advice in the shows.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, not not to listener just to you.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: I think what you need to tell you always find
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: a loophole somewhere.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: Down this is it's clause fourteen point five advice maybe
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: given to ash no one else. You need to learn
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: to swim with the tide on what the ushies.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're got.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: To swim with the tide tides going out, swim with it.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Bro Well, you got to take a stand at some.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Point, so you know you're wasting your energy, wasting your
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: hard earned energy on something that's I'm medicated.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Most of that energy is from that.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: So it's fine, learn to embrace the ushy.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right, okay, all right, fine, fine, fine, okay,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: moving on.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: What else we got breaking news?
• 24:39
  Speaker 7: Well, Australian men are saying no thanks to fatherhood in
• 24:42
  Speaker 7: record numbers as Australia's birth rate crashes to an all
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: time low.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: That's bad for business.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: Less dads, less mums, less listeners.
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: Vasectomies have a sword to sixty percent over the last decade,
• 24:56
  Speaker 7: including among men as young as eighteen to twenty five.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: All that is yard, that's wild.
• 25:02
  Speaker 7: The trend for the snip comes as more women wait
• 25:05
  Speaker 7: longer than ever before to have children, the average age
• 25:08
  Speaker 7: of mums jumping from twenty five in nineteen seventy one.
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: To thirty two today? Is this the end of the
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: big Aussie family?
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: Experts say rising living costs, housing pressures and shifting priorities
• 25:19
  Speaker 7: are changing the way young Australians think about having kids.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: That's getting a fucking versect me at eighteen.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: That's bad.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: That's bad.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I have a friend with a VERSEXI me who's not
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: has no kids. He's a bit older though. He's a
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: bit older though.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's always said that he just didn't want kids.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: It's just not his jam. He just didn't never want
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: to really.
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: The person who he married was also didn't want kids,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: and I remember her telling us that. But then I
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: think after a few years she must have changed her mind.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Turns out she was having an affair and had to
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: keep with him.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: But that's a story for another time.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know, I feel about Goss.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: We'll talk.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: But yeah, he was just like that, he just didn't
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I remember saying to yeah, I do
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: think you'd ever changed.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I was like, nah, it was just like, nah, it's
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: just not for him.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: You don't want to be eternally tired and frustrated with life.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, join us, it's great, Come with what sleep like, anyway,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Birth rate that's young, that is young, but also birth
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: rates definitely dropping. We did that video about when you
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: announce you're pregnant with you first and people are like,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: oh my god, that's amazing, and then the second one
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: they're like great, like lovely done, and then the third
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: they're like that is everything. Okay, what the yeah? And
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: then the people that people in the comments. Someone was like,
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: I know, I've got the same reaction for my ninth
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: and I was like, what is wrong with you?
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: That's great?
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Sun like a no, like a lot of a lot
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: of like ninth and tenth child. And then someone was like,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, like pregnant with my ten.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: That's a lot of kids. That's a lot of kids.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I get like, what what is there possible reason to
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: have that many kids?
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: You just just really enjoy You.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: Are struggling to remember all the names of your it
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: mkes if you be a tanny, but you just starting
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: putting numbers to it.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, anyone who wants to have ten children and
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: love them and make sure they're happy, healthy and looked after,
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: all power to you. But there's got to be like
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: weeks where you don't see one of them, You're like,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: where's Timmy?
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Do you forget about one of those?
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Like, like, even I find it hard now I'm trying
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: to divide my time amongst three kids.
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: I don't know how they do it. I don't know
• 27:23
  Speaker 6: how they do it.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: I do not know.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Like both of my mom's side, sister and brother had
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: like eight kids each.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like, now that I have kids, I'm like,
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: how did they do that?
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: It was a very different time.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: To be fair, half of them were part of a cult.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: That's another story.
• 27:40
  Speaker 7: But I think it's usually in those big families, it's
• 27:42
  Speaker 7: usually the siblings that start to take care of them.
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: It's not the parents.
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: Parents, especially in the way that we are parenting, are
• 27:47
  Speaker 7: kids right now that none of that's happening.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of kids. Yeah, those the cults.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Not to say that anyone who has more than five
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: kids is in a cult, although it seems the link between.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: That those scenarios is it's very close.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: It's like, we've got twelve kids, and also I give
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: thirty percent of my wage to someone and it's say
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: that's a.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Cult, that's a cult. Actually, do you know what is
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: a cult dance?
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: Yes?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, I did see. Yeah, you got the I don't
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: want see you went to a cult meeting.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: I don't want to attack the arts.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Everyone does you skill on board.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: There's parts of dance that I love that Marley loves,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: and there are parts that I wouldn't wish upon my
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: worst enemy.
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: Okay, go on.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: We had a a Stedford and a Stedford on Sunday morning.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: I told you we should have entered into that of
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Deedford too old.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: Marley was first. The instructions were very simple. Got a
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: ride leagues club, a bit of a drive from my place.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: That's fine, Get there to seven thirty competitions. Eight thirty
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: competition is like the routine is like a minute and
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: a half. There's like five groups in Marley's category.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Job done.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: You get out of there great, right, So I was like, look,
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: don't worry, I'll get up, give me a hand getting
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: Marley ready, and then we'll right out there, just Marley
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: and myself. It'd be nice one on one time.
• 29:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: I parked the car, a walk around the corner and
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: I met with this enormous queue, giant queue the Cult,
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, one thing that I cannot
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: do now is be in q's but also the disorganization
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: of like an unorganized que an unorganized que where it's
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: not lined up properly as well, because you weren't sure,
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: you don't know where this end is there. There's multiple doors,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: so we were like which door is going to open
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: up first? And then I rolled the dice and I
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: was like, I line up at this door over here,
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: And I even said to the parents, I was like,
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: I think this is the door that we want. Everyone
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: follow me. I was like, I'll take charge.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Here and then you go back to the other door
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: and they're no, Well, then.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: This other door opened up and then it shut and
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: it was like there's a lot of panic, a lot
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: of stress, a lot of anxiety. Ash show me you
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: don't need Okay, So it's seven thirty seven forty five,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: it's eight o'clock, it's eight thirty still no staff member.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: The Q is getting bigger as well, and it's like
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: spilling onto the road. And Marley was also like, Dad,
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: I'm getting pretty hungry because I didn't bring snacks, did I?
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: Because I thought we had breakfast, we'll dance, we'll get home,
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: we'll get like a snack on the way home. And
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: I was like, what do I do here? And I
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: was thinking, if it's this unorganized out the fright, imagine
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: what it's like inside.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: And so I was like, how long are you stand
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: out there for in the end and a half without moving?
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: Without moving? And I was like, is this a normal
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: part of dance? And people got to dance competitions and
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: instead fids and lining up for an hour and a
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: half at a time?
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Is this something happened that we don't know about it?
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: And there was something I was like to other parents.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: I was like, is this is this normal? And they
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: were like, no, it's not normal.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well, what's happened? What's like?
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Why are we here? And I was also in my
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: head being like wait till I fucking write that email playing.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: To the school. You are that guy too? Sorry?
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: An hour and a half is outrageous.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: And Marley was like, I'm cold.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Think of the children. I would have left, not with
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: the kid. Let's forget that, you do your thing.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I was I was hanging on by a threat and
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: Marley was like.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: When they said you would have missed the competition.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: Well, but every no one, no one was no one
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: was allowed in. Everyone have some sort and it was
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: Marley's all made up, she's going to make up on.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: Her hair is perfect. And I was like, what do
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: we do here?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: And I said I've had enough.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: I've had enough. I'm like, guys, we're leaving.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: And all the other parents like, what do you mean
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: to stay with us? We're almost there and I don't go.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: And I was like, look here, Jessica, we have a
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: bood for hours.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Who knows what will be allowed in it's.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Pronounced Jericha's joke for the donus.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Surely to wake up. You're wasting your time here.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: And I was like, fuck it, we're l even and
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: Marley was like do you know what, Dad, Let's get
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: out of here.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Yes, left in Unison and I called Laura and I
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: was like before I did it, I was like, I'm
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: just gonna check.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Don't want any trouble.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: And I was like Laura and I was like, it's
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: freezing out here.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: It's five degrees.
• 32:05
  Speaker 8: We're out ride, we're out of the summer.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: We don't know my way around.
• 32:12
  Speaker 8: There's no water, no supply, we have nothing, raime low
• 32:16
  Speaker 8: and she was like, you may leave and I was like,
• 32:19
  Speaker 8: thank god, imagine if you may just stay.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: But one of the parents he stayed. Credit to them,
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: I don't have that level of endurance. But they did
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: send her a video of the dance appalling.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: That's because Marley wasn't there.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: I know, yep, yep, yep.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: How long were they there?
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: For another half an hour?
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Oh that's that's unbelievable. What do we have?
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: Not very good because and also the fucking dance teacher
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: didn't show up either.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: Also outrageous.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: I sent a very stern email written by chat GPT.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Did your sign off, Laura Burn? I always do that.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Is this is this what I'm being for. I also
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: had to pay money. It's something like twenty bucks for
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: tickets to the Stedford. The money that we paid for
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: the year of dance, it's like not cheap. And I
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: was like, got me thinking, what are the worst sports
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: your child can play?
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Good question, there's lots dances up there. Dance has got
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: to be like may she does ballet.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: She's what four and a half, So it's like, you know,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: you drop, they do their little ballet thing, you come
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: back and pick them up. It's not there's no competition.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: They definitely do like a little recital at the end
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: of the term. But it's at it's just at with
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: the parents. It's not like a big huha, like a
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Stafford thing.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: That's how they get you. When that's the ballet is
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: the gateway drug.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: Before you know you're hooked.
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: Because also like the dance equipment, costumes, what do they
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: call it?
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Costumes, the apparatus, they're so expensive.
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the fucking shoes.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: And like the less no no, no no, how to
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: the hair?
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: And then I could never do the hair. I can't
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: even do hair normally. It's like I might put a
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: hat on.
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: People want to learn how to do her hair.
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: Though.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Now I'm waiting until she gets to the age she
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: can do it herself.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: You know, you can do it with the vacuum cleaner.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: No, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It's good.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: No, no, that is good.
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: My client said it fully works.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Your clients a what's the vacuum they got?
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: But a lot of people have message and said pull
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: her out.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Now I'm a dancer. It's like the cult.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: They're like, I was onceing nothing. I managed to get
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: out and I survived.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: April was a dancer as a kid. She's a bit
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: iffy on her.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: I don't remember that being brought up in your interviewing.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Now we're gonna have to reconsider this whole situation.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: Okay, do you think it is a cult?
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: There you go, But I think it's because once you
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: get in.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: You can't get out.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: You are like dancing is fun, Like you.
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: Enjoy it when you're doing it, Like who doesn't love
• 34:52
  Speaker 7: moving their body to music?
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Right? Guilty, you're a good dancer.
• 34:56
  Speaker 7: And so one class a week starts to go to two,
• 34:59
  Speaker 7: class to three. I was doing four classes a week
• 35:02
  Speaker 7: after school? What and then competitions on weekend?
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: How old were you here?
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: I started when I was in year two, so that's
• 35:09
  Speaker 7: what seven or eight? Yeah, and then I danced all
• 35:12
  Speaker 7: the way until I was in year twelve.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: But also the.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: Difference between like what are you paying for four dance
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: sessions a week? What are you paying per session?
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: Well, this was a long time ago.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: We can I work it out inflation times.
• 35:25
  Speaker 7: The more classes you did, the more expensive it was,
• 35:28
  Speaker 7: because then you've got like the studio, you've got the speakers, speakers,
• 35:33
  Speaker 7: You've got the speakers.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Do you know what it is?
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: It's like it's a it's the cost of dancing sneaks
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: up on you, so it's not like you know when
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: you're like, okay, well.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: Because soccer is being run by eighteen year old alcoholics.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: The low cost, it's great, smuch achieve. The insurance is
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: high though.
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: You need to be a certified dance teacher.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you get five soccer coach.
• 35:55
  Speaker 6: I'll be whatever you want me to be.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I'll convince you. I'll convince you that I am
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: that person.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: It's not one of those sports you look at and go,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: oh gee, that looks expensive, like I don't know, motocross again,
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: terrible sports, terrible sports, terrible, dangerous and expensive.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: But the cost slowly add up.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's a cult actually, very clever, very clever.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: The school program they're like, you must auditioned to be accepted,
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: and and I reckon they just do that as like
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: you want to be in it. So it's very build
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: some marketing. Okay, this is what I reckon, the worst
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: sports for kids to play. And if you're someone who's
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: listened to the podcast, you don't have kids and you're
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: just maybe you're expecting your first child, you've come to
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: the right place because before you know it, you're doing
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: four dance classes a week and you're locked into the cult.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: But I reckon in addition to dance, and it's hard
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: because I do like dance.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: I like what it offers. Yeah, it's the art. It's
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: good self esteem too, especially if you can dance and teamwork.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know one cares about that. I could not
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: give that response.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm going to I'm going to attack the
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: rowing community, get them and the sailing community.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: You want to sail though, I know you're an adult.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: I'm an adult. You were the kids?
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the kids cost too much. It's not enjoyable to watch,
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: and it's just far too early. You're up at four am.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, squad squad we went When we were in Melbourne.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: We were walking along the Yarrow there and the rowing
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: clubs are everywhere. I know Melbourne that there are a
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: bunch of rowers. Yeah, they'd be known for their rowing, but.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: When it's shipped to watch, there's nothing exciting about it, and.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: You can't see them for like ninety nine percent of
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: the race.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: It's such a prestige sport. I think people are like, oh,
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I spent my kids in rowing, part of the rowing club.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: But you can't even lie, I did dragon boating. You
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: don't hear me fucking bragging about it? Sorry? What dragon
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: boat racing? For how long? It was a school thing
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: that we did. I was like, I'll do it. It's
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: a school thing. Now. Was the guy in the front going,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: whoa on the drum? A drum? You You don't have
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: a photo, do you?
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: No?
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: They do it in Hong Kong.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's Hong Kong, Hong Kong and tweet. One
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: that I want to talk about, which has been mentioned,
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: is cricket. I love cricket. I like to watch it
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: on the TV.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: It's just in the summer time. You don't want to
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: be sitting there in a fieldng time a long, long, long,
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: long long time.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: And all their clothes are white. It must be a
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: washing nightmare.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: Actually, that is a very good point that I haven't
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: yet considered. The stains.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: The stains. Yeah, I mentioned motocross dangerous and expensive.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: Can I raise your motocross with equestrian Yes, it's like
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: motocross but on horses. Well imagine if if you imagine amazing.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: It was like, Dad, I want to be in a questrianist.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: We can't afford it.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: Starters, there you go, ye, horses, horse boats, I'll get
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: you a dog. You're right that, Okay, what's worse equestrian
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: or hobby horsing?
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: What's worse?
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, hobby horsing has got to be cheaper. That wouldn't
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: horse anywhere near? Do they have to feed the wooden horse.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: It's not even a full horse, it's just the head.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: She's a head on a stick. You could do that
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: with a mop at home. But I think equestrian is
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: way worse.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: It's definitely a rich people sport, like straight up like
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: carting into Formula one.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: You've got to have the money behind it. The money
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: is another one I thought was dangerous. Archery.
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: Actually, a lot of people have problem with archery.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a big problem. What bow and arrows is
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: the problem? Bow and arrows and kids? Come on, it
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: can't end well like you're telling me that. It was like, yeah,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: we all had a great day and no one got hurt.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Fuck off, someone's getting hurt every time we lost three
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: children in that competition, Like it was a good day.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: We lost one Timmy, Yeah, okay, yeah, you got narrow.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Although good to watch.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: One more that I've got, which is more like when
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: your kid gets a little bit older, which everyone can
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: plain about. Is swimming swimming lessons different because it's like
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: a little thirty minute break for you really?
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: But squad can I Oh, I mean, I don't last
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: thing I want to do is offend anyone who listens
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: to this podcast. But swimmers, they're all the little bit
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: fucking strange.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I think. I mean, my wife was a swimmer.
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: She's got good feet for swimming.
• 40:21
  Speaker 7: I never understood why swimming club has or squad has
• 40:24
  Speaker 7: to be five am.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: It's like, why does a bag of cacaine cost three
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: hundred dollars?
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Sure there could be cheap.
• 40:28
  Speaker 6: I can get achieved in that.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: It's all a big brag, isn't it? Or could early
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: into some swimming. Yeah, I can swim anytime. Why are
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: you getting up at four am for squad?
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: I never understood that.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: And then people are always like swimming this morning. We
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: know when people are like you this morning.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: I went for a swim this morning, so I was like,
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: everyone's going to brag about swimming.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Moving right along. Okay, my last one, and this is controversial,
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: and this is one that I did.
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: But little athletics, okay, what about it. It's just multiple
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: sport in one like, oh like it tracking, because you
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: do everything, you do every discipline. It's like you've got
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: to watch them try and fucking throw a javelin, right,
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: and your kid's not going to be good at all
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: of them, you know.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: And then you got to.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: Fucking watch them the fifteen hundred, and then you've got
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: to hang around watch me the one hundred years, and
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: then you got long job.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: It never fucking ends.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Ash, It's like I want Oscar to I would like
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Oscar to do the running, but I know that kid's
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: bad at jumping.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: I've seen his vertical leap. It's I wouldn't put that
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: into a competition.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: Right, So little athletics, you've got to do them all.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: You can't just say I want to do like the
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: one hundred meters. Nah, you got to sign up. It's
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: nothing or everything.
• 41:35
  Speaker 7: One of the dots already in Li says she you
• 41:37
  Speaker 7: line up for so long while the kids go crazy,
• 41:39
  Speaker 7: just to run one race that last about fifteen seconds,
• 41:42
  Speaker 7: then move to the next event to wait around all
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: over again.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: So much waiting around.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: She should be a dropping so much there's a drop
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: and go I'm all for it, Like that's right, April
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: went to the athletics carnival for Oscar at school and
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: it was there was nothing athletic about it. She was like,
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: it was just like they just played a bunch of games.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, what were you expecting Beijing? She was like,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: they were like throwing sandbags and stuff.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: I like, yeah, because they're like six.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: But it's when you do little athletics like I used
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: to do it and shout out to tu Wong in
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: t Wong in Queensland and Friday nights Friday nights as well.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: So you didn't but you ended up training. You just
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: had the Friday night meets where you just go there
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: and fucking have a crack at everything.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's is it cheap? You know?
• 42:21
  Speaker 6: I feel like there's no that much equipment.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: I feel like you don't need much.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: It's all provided.
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: Probably is cheap.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: Just too long you just like, what do you wanted
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: to play? I mean I don't who knows actually jiu jitsu?
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Oscar does jiu jitsu? Well does a good Yeah?
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because yeah it's a good one because it's in
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: the same place every time.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Yep, it's a drop and go.
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: Yep, it's beautiful.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: It's good for discipline. It's ticking all the boxes. Yeah,
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: a lot of it is a good one.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: And like I think with Oscar, like afterwards he's palmed,
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: you know, because they do a bunch of like wrestling
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: and then they you know a bit of flipping and
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: ship like that.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know what they're doing up there. I don't
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: know I'm paying for. I don't know what. I don't know.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: Drop a bit, don't come any further. Okay, Like I
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: don't know. They could be doing nothing, So you think it.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Watch it all you can watch when you do the trial,
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: but it's good for them for to be you're not
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: there so that whenever, like there is a parent.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: There, that's like the kid just goes to their parents.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: I did actually have a lot of people message in
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: and be like we were we were the gymnastics apparently
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: very toxic.
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: Also very culty.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, very good.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: I mean it's a fucking mind field out there, guys. Yeah,
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: like what is it? Jiu jitsu? And that's it. That's
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: all they can do.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: That's all I can do from now on.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I think like soccer, netball, football, that sort of stuff's
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: great for like bonding team sports.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: I'm trying so hard to convince my netball is going
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: to be a fun experience. She is crying anytime I
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: bring up the word netball tears.
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: It's like, why are you pushing it?
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: Because everyone says the same. All the older parents are like,
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: glory kid. I remember when my kid was the same.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: They cried the first few weeks and then they get
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: into it and you just got a persevere and so
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, thank you, thank you, old It's.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Actually good advice. So I just got to push through
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: fair enough.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: And Marley was like, I'm a dancer, not an athlete.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I'm built to dance.
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because I was going to say I never played
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: a ball, but I.
• 44:22
  Speaker 6: Danced, and it shows.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't put my hand up to coach the under
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: sevens Vipers, which is Oscar soccer team. But just so
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: happens that the two dads that did were away at
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: the same time, and for some reason, I get my
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: name gets.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: Thrown out there.
• 44:40
  Speaker 6: I don't know why.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: You've got to appreciate that you have experience at this task.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: Of course you will get the call up, but I
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: don't want to do it.
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: Doesn't matter rash.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I've actively avoided even mentioning the word coach just in case,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: like coach, he said, coach, he'll do it anyway, So
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, okay, I'll do help out the team.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Thursday comes along was just training night, and Oscar actually
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: was like, don't forget that, You're you're coaching tonight.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh great, what a shit show
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: that was. It's there's seven Oh man, it is non stop,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: like me just going litstend, let's end stop.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Like it's hurting these stupid sheep around this field. Trying
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: to get them to do anything.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: Was like so frustrating, but surely they must still look
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: at you in the same way that those young kids
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: looked at you when you were eighteen, like you're a
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: cool guy, You're.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: A cool dude. Not now, I'm just grumpy. Oscar was like,
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: dad was grumpy. I was like, yeah, if I fucking listened,
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have to be grumpy anyway. So we went
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: through training and it was we got through.
• 45:42
  Speaker 6: It, and I was like, oh, thank god, when need work.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: What do you make them do? We started off with
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, let's get them running, like playing a game.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: See where we're out in terms of like energy wise,
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: who's going to pay attention, Who's not that's very good
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: from himself. It was a shit show. It was a
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: fucking shit show. And I was just like crazy. I
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: had to tell off a kid in front of his dad.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, if you're not going to listen and.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: Get out, Like I was just like full grumpy mode Thursday,
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Like after a full day of doing.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: Nothing, I was exhausted. I was trying to pull the
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: exhausted cup. But I don't have a job, so this
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: is weird.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: Anyway, Then we get Saturday up beat the coach of
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: the game and when the coach has to referee, and
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Two coaches, Yeah, I know, I know.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: So we got You've got twelve kids on your team, right,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: but then they play on two small fields, right, so you.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: Split them up each week. And we were playing against Mossman, and.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: Anyone who doesn't know Suburbs and Sydney, Mossman is very laudia.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: I'm actually a member of the Mossman Facebook group and
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: they complain about like the fucking bush and the roundabouts.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: Who ever grown? Why would you be part of that?
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I became part of that group,
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: but one of us. It is wild.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: They're all like it was not cave On left at
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: the harbor.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: They found out you have like a diversified portfolio. Fun fact,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I'm banned from playing soccer because of something that happened
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: against Mossman a few years back.
• 47:10
  Speaker 6: I fund someone.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: When you were younger. I was twenty three. Yes, he
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: came to me.
• 47:17
  Speaker 6: I just ended it.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: It was muddy too.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Anyway, we were playing against them, and one of the
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: other dads on our team who's got refereen experience, was like,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I'll do one if you want to do the other,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: and thankfully the Mossman coach was like, oh, do this one.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: I was like yeah, anyway, but I was on one
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: of the fields sort of moving our.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: Team around the park.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: You're allowed to do that because they need to be
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: handheld all the time, trying to get him to pass
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: the ball. Some of them are doing cartwheels, some of
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: them are fucking found a stick and they're playing with this.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: It's chaos and it's like okay.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: And the other coach was really good because he was like,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: I try and refing away where I'm like resetting the
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: field for both teams so that they can learn to
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: find space, and I was like, this is just what
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I need in my love this guy.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Anyway, So we go.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: It's one all at this stage, okay, and then a
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: kid on their team kicked the ball in the goal
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: and when I say he was a bad winner, he
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: walks up to our kids and like you're losing and
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: I was like why, like noticeably loud, and the referee
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: was like oh, And I was like, mate, we're all
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: just trying to have some fun to this kid. And
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: I was talking to the ref and the ref was like,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: went and spoke to him and sort of like because
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: you do rotate players and rotated him off. And as
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I'm walking back past this poor kid, I was like,
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: she'll be the class in front of his parents.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I was like no, I was like,
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: you can't come at me like that. The kids seven anyway,
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: So halftime, come loser. Yeah, it was more. It was
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: more directed at the parents, but I sort of did
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: it in a way where it was like I'd love
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: it if it was the parents who like that was
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: the guy you punched.
• 48:56
  Speaker 6: Yeh, show me a class Yeah.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: It was like did you punch one of us once before? Yeah?
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: That was a classy punch. I was like, hmmm, got
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: to halftime anyway, so we're having oranges.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: Half the kids are doing cartwill still and I'm like,
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: all right, listen, boys. They were a bit pete off
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: with this kid. I'm like, look, let's beat him on
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: the field. Let's get out there. Okay, don't worry about
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: what he said. They were beating us at this stage.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: It was two to one, like, let's get out there. Okay,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: beat him on the field. That's the mature thing to do.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: That is a great pep talk.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: That's not what I wanted to do, but I felt
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: like I had to spit. If it was me, I
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: would have just taken things to my own.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: That naughty kid.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: Are you told off at training where you're like and
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: you can punch anyone you want?
• 49:31
  Speaker 5: I was.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: I was like, let's get after it, like, don't be afraid,
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: like to have a crack at these kids, right.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: Did they respond to that?
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: We won eight too?
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: That is like a Mighty Ducks film script or something.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I ate two. That kid cried sucker.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: Did you say anything doing nah?
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: I felt like the kids had said enough with the ball.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Put that on a T shirt? True, thank you and
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: are you coach.
• 49:59
  Speaker 7: Now.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: They were like, oh, he did great. I'm like, no,
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't terribly, terribly, don't want.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: To do this again.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: You were just coming for the halftime pep talk. Yeah,
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: and I just not the first time I've had to
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: give this team a halftime red up. A few weeks back.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: They were just all asleep. It was so it was
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: really early this game. You said, wake up, and that's
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: always it.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: Second half, they'd got him on the field and before
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: the referee. I was like, coming for a second, show
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: me the fucking ticker, would you. That's another thing as well.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: I swear a lot, and I was like the parents.
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the kids loved it. They respect me.
• 50:34
  Speaker 7: We would love yeah, swearing like that in front of Yeah,
• 50:37
  Speaker 7: I was like, show me the fucking ticker.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: Go after like you what these kids are seven? I know, Well,
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: that's what it was like when we coached these other kids.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: My mate and I were just like, just get these kids.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: We would mouth off a coaches and ship like that
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: were part of the problem. But it was my coaching debut.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: I'm undefeated. Actually, both teams, both sides won by They
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: actually moved that kid to the other other field.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: It's say they knew I had it good.
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: You're too good to just throw this now thrown away.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: That's I retired, not doing again.
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: No way, can you come to Lewis team?
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Rever doesn't know little ship.
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's not gonna have something take into
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: your fucking guns.
• 51:18
  Speaker 7: I know.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: It was funny because I was scared during training. I
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: was like, anytime a kid talks back, I'm just gonna
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: just tell me to shut up.
• 51:25
  Speaker 6: Oscar was the first one.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a couple of kids just being too soft.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: The kid, one of the kids was like, it's our balls, Like,
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: how about you shut up? And I'm like, oh okay,
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: and the parents.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: Are like this it's unorthodox, but it seems to work.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Oscar was like, don't go too hard on me. I'm like,
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: your shut up, and Oscar was just like where am
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like going shut up anyway.
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: We need more parents like.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: You, Thank you, thank you? Do we Yeah? I said, look,
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: the world would be a much more violent place. And
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: I said, I said, look, you kids will have some
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: new words when they get home.
• 51:58
  Speaker 6: But it's not my fault.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Wasn't from it won't be from me. Look, I'm not
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: gonna do it again. I'm not unless I absolutely have to.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: You fucking will.
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: I know he secretly loves it as well. He's like,
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: that'll be one time only. I'll never come back unless.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: You and they'll be down at half time in a game.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: There's only one man that can save us. We need
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: a classic ash.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Pepto, right, I just walk home and go listen here, shipheads,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: get the fucking ball, put it in the back of
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: the net and send them packing.
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, if they go, good luck for the rest of
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: the season. There's a few games left.
• 52:34
  Speaker 6: I couldn't care less.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: Before we go, we're talking about jiu jitsu.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Before now, Oscar had made a new friend at jiu jitsu,
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: So non school friend, a jiu jitsu friend.
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: I believe it or not. He's Brazilian. A lot of
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Brazilians down there at the Brazilian jiu jitsu figure. Yeah, so,
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: I can't remember his name was.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: It's probably the best that I like that you tried
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: to attempt to remember.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So Oscar came out of class, buzzing buzzy, buzzing
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: came up and he said.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: Hey, so and so, his mum is looking for you
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: because she wants to invite you to my birthday party.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh great, you're a good birthday
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: party already. Don't come on a little bit strong and anyway.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: So I just looked at the lady who.
• 53:13
  Speaker 6: Was confused and looking for someone.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, you're looking for me, and she was like, yeah,
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: Oscar's dad. I want to invite.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: What's your phone number? And I gave Mapel's number because
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: I don't have time for that, and.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, sweet, no worries. Yeah, he'll be excited,
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: and like I was all for it. I'm like, yeah,
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: but April's way better organizing things than me. That's why
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: I gave her number. And I get home and April's like.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Got a birthday invite and I was like, yeah, it's
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Oscar's new friend. It's like, oh great, so it's it's
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: it's at nine am.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: I was like great, okay, and nine till three Wow?
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: What nine am till three pm? What are they? What
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: are they doing? A very good question, very good question.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Brazilian different.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: I know that's and I actually consulted my Brazilian friend
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: like this. I went to and investation with the other
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: Brazilians to find out if this is normal. And it
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: is because it's not just we have a birthday party,
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: fra kid, there's just a celebration. But what's the six hours?
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: How else do you celebrate?
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, it must be a
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: dropping go No, you're what do you want me to
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: quit my job? I don't have a job. What do
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: you want me to quit this podcast? I'm a coach. Now.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: We don't have to record from down there. It's like
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: nine to three. That's a long time at someone's house.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know any of the details.
• 54:29
  Speaker 4: The kids would just be playing around. I think it
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: would be like the adults hangout hours.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: Do you think my kids have that kind of stamina
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: in them.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: They're maybe they're a bit weak at times, but after
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: a couple of hours they're like, well we're done, Like we're.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: Done here, I'm done immediately.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's disrespectful to the Brazilians.
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: Ash I'll be there for the food were pretty good.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking about this all wrong. Paler No, that's Spanish.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: What do they go? What's the Brazilian dish?
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: Brazilian barbecue?
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: The meat they meat eaters. They kind of.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe there is that because they're like, look, the suckling
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: pig takes five hours, and I'm like.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Well, fair enough.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: Someone needs to tell the Brazilians you only need a
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: couple of hours.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: Does I have to go for the whole thing? Or
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: is it like it's on for six hours, you show
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: up whenever.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: I'm not Brazilian, so I don't know. But if anyone
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: is listening, can you tell us the etiquette of how
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: you can attend a Brazilian party without going for the.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: Like the whole the longest kid's birthday party.
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: It's a marathon, not a sprint.
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, have you it's unheard of. I've never heard
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: of it. It's child abuse, that's what it's. It's parents abuse.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: That's you're gonna make me sit at a park for
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: six hours dropping him off.
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: Think of the parents also, like, you're making life hard
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: for yourselves three hours tops. Oh Max, I think you
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: still get your food, you still get your dancing, and
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: you're drinking. You still get your presence, party bag.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: You can get a party bag. You can do it all.
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no need, no need, unnecessary. That's a whole day
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: someone needs to get in the year of these Brazilians.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: That's a whole day before.
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: We we're all having fucking six hour parties.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Let's not let's not normalize it.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: I don't want to stress people out. I don't put
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: fear in their minds. But if you want to try
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: and premeditate that amount of fun for that long, that's
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: a lot of hours to fill. But if you're like, hey,
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: do you know what, we're at the bolow the RSL.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: Everyone's having a good time. If you want to stay, fine,
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: but you're at my house. At my house, guys, I
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: want to be on the.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: Couch and be on Yeah, it's like social media.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: I want to scroll social media by myself.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: You're only allowed in my house for two hours at
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: a time. Any longer than that.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: Fix you awning exactly?
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: We better get outa Yeah, this has been a long episode.
• 56:40
  Speaker 6: I'm tired.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: Well that's it thirty Jesus, Okay, we do it for you, guys.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: Do a night shift like a six hour birthday party. Yeah,
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: that's what it feels like.
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: If you're doing this episode, please give us a review,
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: either individual episodes on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Or you can join us on social media Instagram, tick talk, Facebook, YouTube,
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: and YouTube.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: For this episode, we are called two Doting Dad. That's
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: how you find us. By the way, mind alone in
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: case you're wondering, and we'll see you guys next week.
• 57:10
  Speaker 7: Vick who got next week bednight on school reports, parent
• 57:12
  Speaker 7: teacher interviews and becoming a new dad.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: We can pick his brain about these reports this year.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you. It was diabolical supper diabolical.
• 57:21
  Speaker 7: Well, he actually says, there's one thing you want to
• 57:23
  Speaker 7: look for on a report card and if the kid
• 57:26
  Speaker 7: has done it, you are a fucking good parent.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: A bloody tease. I guess it's not distracts easily, pretty much,
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: he sucks. Yeah, it distracts easily and distracts those around him.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: Damn it.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: We'll see what it is on Monday.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, bye bye. I can dear you walk round see
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: what there is to see. I'm is just a melody
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: people in the street to walk in fast. There's the
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: feet of my bay.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: Bay Two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight Islander
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: peoples Today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.