Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / EP 68 - Success, Addiction, Burnout, and the Grace That Changed Everything | Kenny Stoddart

Transcript

EP 68 - Success, Addiction, Burnout, and the Grace That Changed Everything | Kenny Stoddart · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

• 0:02
  Today we're going to talk about what happens when the armor
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  finally comes off and there's nothing left to hide behind on
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  Unmasked. Today we're talking about grace
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  that meets us in the dark. Faith does survive silence and
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  what it really takes to rebuild identity after success,
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  addiction and loss collide. Welcome to Unmasked, where we
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  take off the filters again, real about faith, failure, and
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  finding freedom. I'm your host, Wesley
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  Farnsworth, a dad, veteran, author, and a man who's learned
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  that God does his best work in the middle of our mess.
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  Each episode, we have honest conversations with people who
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  have walked through addiction, pain or doubt, and with pastors,
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  leaders, and everyday believers who are learning to live and
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  lead authentically. So take a breath, pull up a
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  chair, and let's get real. This is UNMASKED.
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  Today on UNMASKED, I'm joined by Kenny Stoddart, a leader,
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  advisor and speaker whose story is marked not by Polish, but by
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  hard earned honesty. For more than 30 years, Kenny
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  has lived behind armor, cybersecurity, executive,
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  athlete, high performer. But beneath the titles was a man
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  quietly carrying grief, trauma, addiction, and a crushing weight
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  of responsibility. His recovery doesn't.
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  His recovery didn't follow a clean arc or a quick fix.
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  It unfolded slowly, in silence, humility, and moments where
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  faith felt distant and God felt quiet.
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  Today, Kenny serves through Iron Man Advisors, and his keynote,
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  Grace in the Mirror, helps leaders, first responders, and
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  people in recovery navigate the hidden cost of carrying pressure
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  and identity alone. Rooted in lifelong Catholic
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  faith and transformed by deeply personal encounter with God
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  during his recovery, Kenny speaks from scars, not wounds.
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  His story reminds us that healing isn't about rebuilding
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  performance, but rediscovering who we are when grace, not
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  striving, becomes the foundation.
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  Kenny, thanks for being with us today here on UNMASKED.
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  It's a pleasure to have you. Thank you very much for having
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  me and thank you for that introduction was really nice.
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  It was definitely my pleasure. I've been looking forward to
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  having you on since we first connected.
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  So man, I just, I can't wait to hear more of your story other
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  than the little bit that I've already heard.
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  So I'm just going to turn the floor over to you and share with
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  us what what brings you to unmask today.
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  Well, yeah, thank you. And I, I love sharing my story
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  and sharing today will probably be one of the first times where
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  I, you know, I, I've been preparing for this and I wanted
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  to, I wanted to really, you know, dive into the, the journey
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  that the Lord has taken me down during my, my story.
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  So my story has many components, but none of them could exist
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  without the good Lord intervening in my life over the,
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  you know, as a, as a 50 year old, but also the journey that
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  he's, I've been on with him since the day I was born.
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  And it's just continued to be overwhelming and amazing every
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  single day, the way he he shows up in my life.
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  And I'm forever grateful for that.
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  And like I said, without my relationship with the Lord the
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  way it is, nothing is possible. Not my sobriety, not my
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  recovery, not my cancer free diagnosis.
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  None of these things are possible without him.
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  So sometimes I'm remiss and and fail to mention it because it it
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  goes without saying in my world. And that's the way I would, you
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  know, that's the number one thing in my life.
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  You know, I grew up, as you briefly mentioned, in a, in a
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  Catholic household in Western New York, in a small town called
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  Hamburg, just outside of Buffalo on Lake Erie.
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  Catholicism was a was a way of life for us.
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  It was part of our culture. It was everybody was Catholic.
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  We went to Mass on Sundays, we had fish fries on Fridays.
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  Lent was a big deal. You know, I went to Catholic
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  schools from kindergarten through my junior year in high
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  school. I'll get back to that.
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  That's, that's an interesting place to to stop that journey.
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  But like I said, my, my faith was, was, was written in the, in
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  the Catholic Church. And I love the Catholic Church.
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  I still go to the Catholic Church, but my journey with the
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  Lord has continued beyond that. And well, I don't know if it's
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  beyond it or within it, but you know, because Church and
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  Catholicism and that part was, you know, woven into us from the
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  day we were born. It was somewhat perhaps taken
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  for granted and maybe we didn't realize the full potential of
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  what our faithful journey should look like.
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  And you know, as I mentioned, my faith has changed and, and you
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  know, here I am as a 51 year old cancer survivor, recoverer, and
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  now helper of people, if you will, is on my new journey.
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  And the reason I am all three of those things is because of the
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  way the Lord has intervened in my life.
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  Most recently when I, when I was in recovery, which was 450 plus
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  days ago, I forget the exact number, but we're close.
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  You know, I was blessed by people that didn't know me, that
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  didn't know who I was, didn't know anything about me, but they
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  knew that I was struggling, that I was hurting inside, that I was
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  essentially hitting my rock bottom, if you will, that that
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  everybody has a different definition of that.
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  But for me, I was down and out and I was I was picked up by
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  people that, like I said, that have never met me.
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  This is at the Hazleton clinic at Betty Ford and then by some
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  dear loved ones in my life that, you know, where that didn't have
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  to do what they did right. I believe that they felt that
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  the Lord, I mean, certainly for my, my friends and family, that
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  that was what he, he, he asked them to intervene and they did.
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  And then the people that I met during my recovery were, you
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  know, these are people that do this not only for a living, but
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  for a passion. And it was amazing.
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  The way it impacted me was incredible.
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  I, I seen people in their, in their raw, rawest form in their,
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  in their, you know, and then to be lifted up like that was a
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  sign for me that I was pushed in the right direction to get the,
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  the assistance that I needed. And then I, I fully embraced it
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  because I saw that, yeah, I, I just loved how helping people
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  was resonating with me. So I, I really like I said, I
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  fully embraced it and I began, began helping people just
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  nonchalantly, you know, following up with folks or
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  people would text me and say, Hey, Kenny, do you have a minute
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  or can I ask you a question? And I was like, sure, of course
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  I'm happy to, you know, I'm walking the same journey with
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  them at the time. Of course, you know, that led me
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  down the path of, of, you know, what I really what, what should
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  I be doing with my life? You know, I was in I was in
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  cybersecurity sales at the highest levels for 27 years
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  working in, you know, for some of the biggest Internet
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  companies in the world. I had a fabulous career.
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  I loved it. It it nearly killed me.
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  And I don't blame anybody but myself for my own downfall.
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  But I had burnouts. I had all the struggles that
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  come along with that type of career.
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  Wish I would have picked up on them sooner, but I didn't.
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  And like I said it, it, it got me good.
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  And now during my own process and through the, these
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  interjections from the Lord that saying go down this path, I've
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  completely pivoted from that. And, you know, I, I now my focus
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  is on the mental health space and helping others that are
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  struggling the way I did, whether it be with addiction or
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  burnout or identity crisis or wondering what it is, what their
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  purpose is. And wondering, you know, people
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  like myself always wondered, we're chasing the, the next
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  goal, the next thing, moving the joystick further down the path
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  so we can have these big goals. And all the while realizing that
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  I had already done everything that anybody in you know that
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  long before this. And you know, I took off my
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  Cape, my proverbial Cape, if you will, and asked for help.
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  And then I began my recovery process.
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  And you know, as I alluded to during that process, you know,
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  I, I was driven down this path to go back to school and get my
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  master's in mental health counseling.
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  I opened my own business to help others, which is Iron Mind
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  Advisors. And again, the the idea is to
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  spread this word about how nasty this burnout crisis can be.
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  But also, you know, I'm, I'm not alone and I thought I was alone
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  and I'm clearly not. You mentioned that you know how
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  some of these big moments of adversity happened during the
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  you know, here I am as a 4849 year old.
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  Things are going great on the outside, but not on the inside.
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  And, you know, the Lord intervened on me and said, do
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  something about it. That's really the only way I can
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  describe it now. I mean, I had to take action and
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  I did. But something dawned on me that
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  it was, you know, I had to put my I.
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  I say I put my stake in the ground and said, this is it.
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  It's time to turn your life around and get back to who you
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  know you can be. And that was November 7th, 2024,
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  where I had my moment with grace in the mirror, where honestly, I
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  felt like the Lord was talking to me.
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  I looked at, you know, we look at all these places to, to how
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  can I get help? How can I be better?
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  What can I do differently? How, what excuse can I make?
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  And that that evening, the answer was right in the mirror.
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  I was looking right back at me and it was me.
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  And it truly is like something that I've never experienced
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  before. That's I, you know, because that
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  was the moment where I said there's no more excuses.
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  There's no more blaming. There's no more looking for
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  answers. The answers are right here.
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  And you know, and then I did give myself some grace and I
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  said you got this man, you know, like you are not this failure
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  that you've created in your mind, if you will, which I did.
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  I was so hard on myself. I was beating myself up every
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  day because I was struggling. But that moment, that grace in
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  the mirror, that, that moment that the Lord said to me, like,
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  you got this, it was, it was truly amazing.
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  And it was something that, like I said, I've never experienced
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  it before. And ever since then I've seen
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  all these other different signs during my process.
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  And I don't know, I, it's just, it's been overwhelming and
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  thrilling and, and I'm so glad I get a forum like this to be able
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  to, to speak about it. Because I think at the end of
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  the day, you know, my message is that, you know, here I am at the
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  time, 4950 years old, down and out.
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  I lost everything. I was, you know, I had it all.
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  I had the money that, you know, and then I got it back and, and
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  not, not the monetary things or anything like that, but I was
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  given a second chance because the Lord asked me to, to said,
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  get better and go help others and spread your message.
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  And ever since then, I have, my life has changed so dramatically
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  because I'm doing something that I'm so passionate about and I
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  love so much. And the reason is, is because
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  this is my true life story. Like I lived it and I, I had
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  these ups and downs and I did not have to have them.
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  And I'm not looking for any sympathy or any, that's not my,
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  my thing. I'm looking for people to listen
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  to me so they don't have to have the same challenges because I
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  lived it. And now I want to share about
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  it. And you know, the challenges
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  that I faced in high school that I alluded to when I got expelled
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  at the end of my junior year and the shame and embarrassment that
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  came along with that. Like I should have dealt that
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  when I was dealt with that properly when I was 16 or 17
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  years old instead of holding on to it for 20 or 30 years because
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  of the impact that it had. And we look at these things and
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  that is the lesson, like talking to people and sharing your
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  stories and being vulnerable and opening up are so powerful
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  because it allows you the path to getting to that next step.
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  And that's what a lot of people need because we all get stuck
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  and I was stuck and I was afraid to talk or open up or ask for
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  help. And then I, I did all of those
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  things because I was the Lord said, buddy, you don't have this
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  alone, Get some help. And that's what I did.
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  And that's, that's my story in a nutshell.
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  I guess maybe, but 15 minute version nutshell.
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  But it's just, I, I don't know how to say it any better than
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  that. And you know, it's just been so
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  incredible and it can happen to anybody if they have the right,
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  I don't know. I hate to whatever it is, the
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  mindset, the the courage to say like, I don't want to live like
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  a that. I want to do this.
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  And then we put some action in place and do it and it's
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  amazing. Yeah, talk to us a little bit
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  more about your addiction. Like what was it that you were
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  you had the addiction with and what was that journey like and
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  what was it? What was that point that you
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  realized, hey, I can't do this anymore and you started down the
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  your road to recovery? Right, so as I mentioned, I, you
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  know, I, I peeled back the layers on what the root cause of
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  my, my challenges are. And, you know, it's easy to
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  label someone that admits to being an, an addict or an
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  alcoholic to be, oh, he's an alcoholic.
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  And yes, I, I confess, I am, I'm sorry, whatever.
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  I'm dealing with it and it's been amazing.
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  But my addiction is different. You know, I don't, I'm not
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  addicted to alcohol. I'm addicted to finish lines.
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  I'm addicted to presidents club. I'm addicted to quotas.
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  I'm addicted to making, you know, closing the biggest deals.
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  I'm addicted to, you know, adrenaline, if you will.
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  I, I, I was addicted because when I was kicked out of high
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  school, I was knocked back so many steps because I thought I
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  was the good, you know, this athlete going places or whatever
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  I thought I was. But what I didn't think was
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  going to happen was what happened.
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  And it was taken away all away from me and I didn't have it
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  anymore. And then I became addicted to,
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  you know, going to the Citadel and graduating at the top of my
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  class and going into the cybersecurity industry and
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  rising through the ranks as quickly as possible so I could
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  show everybody that I wasn't this loser that got kicked out
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  of high school. And again, no one thought about
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  no one thought that except for me, right?
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  So not putting this on like I had this thing in my head that
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  I, you know, I had to let my family down or my friends or I
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  was like the laughing stock and it, it ate at me.
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  So I became addicted to to showing to people pleasing, if
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  you will, I, whatever that word is, to making sure that I am not
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  the failure that that presented me as.
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  And I'm going to. And meanwhile, I wasn't, no one
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  cared. My every, my friends, my family,
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  the people that I was trying to impress, whatever they were
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  already impressed. I mean, there was nothing to do,
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  but I was, I was addicted to this journey.
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  Now, of course, things escalated, you know, because of
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  that, you know, in, during that 27 year career of being in
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  cybersecurity and being a sales leader and being, you know, an
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  entertainer and that being part of the job, whatever the excuses
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  or whatever I was part of, you know, and those are all true.
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  They really are. But I did it for a long time
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  and, you know, it became a part of life and then addiction.
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  Did you know? I became, you know, alcohol was
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  a part of the regular routine. And as I got older and, you
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  know, I started showing more signs of, you know, what it
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  looks like to be, you know, forgetful or say the same
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  stories twice or, you know, loud or, you know, being like a
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  little bit obnoxious, whatever, not like whatever stereotypical
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  things that Alcoholics come along with.
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  Mine was different, but still it's real and I couldn't stop
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  it. I really like I even when I
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  tried to for a couple weeks or a month at a time, like I could do
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  that. But then it was right back to
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  the same, you know, I'll have a few to the I'll have more than a
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  few to the same vicious cycle. And you know, that vicious cycle
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  continued to go on, you know, in and then I, I, I, I had to ask
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  for help. That's I was too down and out.
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  I was, my friends were upset with me, My, they wanted me to
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  get better. They were, my family was worried
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  about me and I wasn't being who I was, who I was supposed to be.
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  And because alcohol had put its talents in me, if you will, and
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  that's addiction, that's and I was unable to, I tried to do it
• 18:54
  by myself. I couldn't do it.
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  So I, I started my friends, I started talking to my friends
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  about getting help and one thing led to another night.
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  Like I said, I ended up in the intense outpatient program at
• 19:07
  Hazelden and it was amazing and it's been life changing.
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  Perhaps that's not the right program for everybody.
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  That's not what I'm trying to say.
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  It was for me at the time, but hope is what I'm trying to say
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  because I, I was out of it and I didn't think that there was, I
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  was too cool for rehab and this and that.
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  I was humbled on day one and it was amazing.
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  It was amazing. And you know, that's what it was
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  like. And addiction is a real thing.
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  I respect it. Now I'm out to help others get a
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  hold of it. I don't have the cure for it.
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  No, I don't think anybody does. But there are ways and that's
• 19:47
  what what I'm trying to do. And it, it's different for
• 19:50
  everybody, but there are ways and it starts with, you know,
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  you got to, you got to want this.
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  And if you want it bad enough, then you got to be willing to
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  put in the work. And that work might be working
• 20:05
  with someone else or asking for help or guidance.
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  Because I tried to do it all alone and I would have not ended
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  well just because I was, like I said, I hate to admit it, but I
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  lost the ability to control it. And now I'm not afraid to say
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  it. I'm I wear it as a badge of
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  honor. Because I got the help that I
• 20:26
  needed and I turned my life around and I'm proud of that.
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  But it's, it's, it's hard, it's everyday.
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  It's, it's part of the journey, you know?
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  Yeah, you said two things there that I want to highlight real
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  fast. And that was, you know, you,
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  you, you struggled with the alcohol and that and everything
• 20:45
  else, but you were also addicted to success, right?
• 20:50
  You wanted to be the top of the everything to, to impress, well,
• 20:55
  in your eyes, impress others. But really you were trying to
• 20:57
  impress yourself. And I think that's something
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  that the listeners, if you're listening, you need to realize
• 21:03
  is, excuse me, not all, not all addictions are two things like
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  drugs or alcohol or pornography or, or cheeseburgers or, you
• 21:15
  know, whatever. You can be addicted to success.
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  You can be addicted to having to have the latest technology that
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  the, you know, the the best and greatest of whatever it is.
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  And those are very real things too.
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  And so I love that you, you brought that up because it's,
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  that's something that I think a lot of people don't really think
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  about when they think about addiction.
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  The other point that you brought up that I want to talk touch on
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  real fast is the fact that you can't do it unless you want it.
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  You can't make the change unless you want it.
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  And I think that's something else that a lot of people just
• 21:56
  don't think about is, you know, they're, they have a brother or
• 21:59
  a sister or a mom or a dad or an aunt and an uncle or what,
• 22:03
  whatever it is. And, and they're struggling with
• 22:05
  something. They think, man, I'm going to
• 22:07
  take this person to get help because they need it.
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  Well, that's great and you can take them.
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  And by all means, if that, if you think that's what they need,
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  then you know, if I'm not going to tell you not to, But it's not
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  going to be as as successful as if it's what they want.
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  Because when they want it, then the change will actually happen
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  and it'll be internalized and through recovery can begin or
• 22:34
  begin. Excuse me.
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  Otherwise they're doing it to check a box to appease you and I
• 22:41
  think the success rate is going to be a lot lower.
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  Yes, you are absolutely right on that.
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  And I, you know, I learned that I'm going to take a peel it back
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  a, a layer even more, you know, So, yeah, I was chasing that.
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  I wanted, you know, the impacts that the incident had on me in
• 23:03
  high school left me feeling, quite frankly, like I as if I
• 23:05
  was the loser and the laughing stock.
• 23:08
  And so I got addicted to the success, if you will.
• 23:11
  And yes, but as you mentioned, the people that, you know, I was
• 23:17
  trying to impress or whatever were becoming less impressed
• 23:21
  with the, the, the overemphasis on trying, if you will, you
• 23:25
  know, and, and that happens. So it, it happens in everyday
• 23:28
  life now. And it's, it doesn't need to be
• 23:31
  like, so I always say, I'm not going to sit here and tell
• 23:34
  anybody not to chase their dreams and be as successful as
• 23:39
  possible. That is not my, my message.
• 23:41
  My message is, is to have some boundaries around that, right.
• 23:44
  So I use the example of like an, a triathlon.
• 23:49
  So I wanted to go and do a triathlon when I was, you know,
• 23:52
  this is several years ago, but I was like, oh, that would be
• 23:56
  really cool to do and never thought I could do it.
• 24:00
  So I'm going to go do it. I'm going to do a triathlon.
• 24:03
  Well, it should have kind of stopped there, but instead it
• 24:07
  well, I want to I did that first one.
• 24:09
  So now I want to go do the half Ironman.
• 24:12
  Well, I did that. So now I want to go do the full
• 24:14
  Ironman. Well, I did that.
• 24:15
  Now I want to go do the full Ironman.
• 24:16
  Well, I did that. Now I want to go do the Ironman
• 24:17
  World Championships in Maui. So I have to qualify for no see,
• 24:21
  these are the things like it's OK to do it, but the boundaries
• 24:26
  that were left behind there were the the amount of time that it
• 24:29
  takes to do that, the impact that it has on others in your
• 24:33
  life, but the sacrifices that you make because you're training
• 24:36
  during a very selfish sport, if you will.
• 24:40
  And that's just the one example. But you know, promotions work
• 24:45
  like I'm chase the promotions, chase the dream, follow your
• 24:49
  like I, I just did. I'm following my dream now.
• 24:52
  And I encourage everybody to do to do that.
• 24:54
  But there has to be some boundaries involved.
• 24:56
  We have to understand that, like you said, for the right reasons,
• 25:02
  like no one wanted, no one wants me to go back to school to get a
• 25:06
  master's in addiction counseling.
• 25:07
  I do otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it right because it's
• 25:11
  challenging. The same goes for the Citadel
• 25:14
  when I was 18 years old. No one like it.
• 25:18
  That place still sounds frightening to go to compared to
• 25:21
  the other college experiences. But I wanted to go there, not my
• 25:25
  parents. So I went there and I was
• 25:27
  successful there. But on the flip side, if you're
• 25:30
  going there for the wrong reasons, as you mentioned, you
• 25:33
  know that that's not going to end well.
• 25:35
  And you know, I learned that through life that that applies
• 25:39
  to all these things that we chase is like they were only my
• 25:44
  goals. The this facade that I created
• 25:48
  in my head was simply that in my head.
• 25:51
  And, you know, doing things for the right reasons and putting
• 25:53
  boundaries behind them are kind of the like, that's good
• 25:58
  guidance as far as setting goals and doing like is making sure,
• 26:02
  like, what if you're going to chase this new, new dream and
• 26:05
  you live in California, but that dreams in Boston, what you need
• 26:08
  to make sure that all the like, your family's aligned and you
• 26:11
  know, you're, you know, just simple things like that to make
• 26:15
  because otherwise it's others are impacted and we're not
• 26:20
  looking at the, the big picture. And I did that.
• 26:23
  And that's part of addiction chasing it.
• 26:26
  And I want I with my, with the folks that I work with, I'm
• 26:30
  always encouraging them to chase their most grandiose dreams as
• 26:35
  long as they're for the right reasons and the boundaries are
• 26:36
  in place and the right reasons need to be, you know, there's a
• 26:40
  lot of versions of, you know, but you have to want to do it.
• 26:43
  It's got to be for you. And then it's got to fit into
• 26:45
  your, your, your life goals. And that's what I did.
• 26:51
  And it's just magical when it all comes together like that.
• 26:55
  Not, I make it sound a little easier said than done.
• 26:58
  And I hate to do that. But at the, at the end of the
• 27:00
  day, these are all like, it's strategic thinking about what
• 27:03
  you want to do with your life and then doing it.
• 27:06
  And you have to want to do it. Yeah, You know, you said, you've
• 27:12
  said in conversations and then other things that I've written
• 27:15
  or or read, excuse me, that your recovery didn't happen in a
• 27:19
  straight line, right. And, and recovery rarely does.
• 27:23
  It's always got hills and valleys, ebbs and flows as
• 27:25
  you're as you're kind of finding your way.
• 27:28
  So what did healing actually look like for you when
• 27:32
  everything and identity, faith and certainty were stripped
• 27:37
  away? Yeah, here's what it looked like
• 27:42
  for me. It looked amazing because as I
• 27:44
  mentioned, I felt like I had to wear this Superman Cape for so
• 27:47
  many years and it was taken off. And admittedly, I, I wanted to
• 27:51
  take it off that night when I referred to the grace in the
• 27:54
  mirrors. The cinematic version is that I
• 27:57
  took the Cape off that night. But in reality, that's exactly
• 28:00
  what I did. And you know, I was, you can
• 28:03
  call it stripped, you can call it taken away.
• 28:04
  You can. The reality is, is that I, I, I
• 28:07
  took that that weight off of my shoulders and I was reminded
• 28:13
  during my recovery that I was not alone.
• 28:17
  Number one, that I was not the first high functioning struggler
• 28:23
  that battled with addiction and whatnot.
• 28:26
  Matter of fact, there's many of us.
• 28:27
  But again, I was not alone. And I also learned that, you
• 28:32
  know, I'm a I'm a great person just as I am.
• 28:35
  I don't need to continue to to do amazing things.
• 28:39
  They're already they've been done.
• 28:40
  And you know, it was just a very humbling and, you know, I didn't
• 28:46
  have to be that person anymore that I once was to try to.
• 28:51
  I just got to be myself. I actually, you know, I, I go by
• 28:57
  Kenny Stoddart and you know, for most of my childhood up until I
• 29:01
  was, you know, 18 or 19 or 20 years old, I was always Kenny
• 29:06
  Stoddart. And then for the next 20-30
• 29:09
  years I went by Ken because that became my professional name for
• 29:13
  whatever reason. I guess.
• 29:15
  I don't know what happened, but you know, I was Ken for a long
• 29:19
  time and in my corporate world and then I was Kenny again, you
• 29:25
  know, at 51 years old or 50 years old.
• 29:27
  And, you know, it was, it's it, it sounds funny, but you know,
• 29:32
  it's like the younger version of me is back, but it's not the
• 29:34
  younger. It's the version that people
• 29:36
  really came to love and know and over the years.
• 29:40
  And that's the version of me that I want to be.
• 29:42
  So that's a funny way of, you know, I still go by Ken.
• 29:46
  I still go by Kenny. My mom calls me Kendrick.
• 29:48
  You know, it's I don't care. But the story goes is that, you
• 29:54
  know, being Kenny is exactly what I was put here to do.
• 30:00
  And I don't need to try to go be Ken or be Mr. this or that.
• 30:05
  And that's, that's what healing felt like.
• 30:09
  And it was amazing. And it I, I like I said, you
• 30:14
  said mentioned stripped of this and that.
• 30:16
  It's like good, take it, take it.
• 30:18
  I don't want it anymore. Take the Cape, take the, you
• 30:22
  know, Kenny's the big strong man.
• 30:24
  He's got all the answers. And again, I, I hope to be help,
• 30:28
  but not have all the answers always just I want to be me.
• 30:32
  And and that version of me has turned into like, it's just like
• 30:36
  I said, it's, it's part of the overwhelming part that I
• 30:39
  mentioned because I wish I was this person all along.
• 30:42
  I except for I. I was chasing the things that
• 30:46
  probably didn't matter as much. Yeah, You know, I'm going to
• 30:50
  talk to the listeners here real fast.
• 30:52
  And, you know, listeners, if you're out there and you're
• 30:54
  listening to this episode and you're like, man, I know
• 30:57
  somebody that's just like that. I know somebody that's an
• 31:00
  overachiever or is addicted to success or has struggled with
• 31:05
  this or that. You know, as you're thinking
• 31:08
  about that person, would you just take a quick second and
• 31:10
  share this episode with them? Because I truly believe that it
• 31:13
  could help them. You know, that's exactly why we,
• 31:16
  this is exactly why we have unmasked is for people to
• 31:19
  realize that they're not alone and that there are other people
• 31:23
  out there like them. So just take a moment and share
• 31:25
  the episode with them. And I, I not only appreciate it,
• 31:29
  but I'm sure that they're going to appreciate it as well.
• 31:32
  The fact that you're thinking of them.
• 31:35
  Well, Kenny, you know, for decades you lived behind armor.
• 31:39
  You, you had titles, performance, success.
• 31:43
  When all of that armor started to crack, what was the most
• 31:48
  frightening thing that you had to face about yourself?
• 31:55
  So there's obviously when you're, when you're hitting rock
• 31:58
  bottom, there's so much going on in your mind and what you know,
• 32:04
  loss is all over the place. You know, it could be physical
• 32:08
  loss of fitness, for example, it could be financial loss of
• 32:11
  wealth. It could be health, You know,
• 32:15
  numerous opportunities to, to, for loss to show up in your
• 32:18
  life. And you know, I, I feared all of
• 32:21
  them. I really did.
• 32:24
  But the one thing that I hated most was the loss of control.
• 32:30
  And again, that's why I like, I don't like addiction or drugs or
• 32:35
  anything that takes control over your, you know, your ability to
• 32:41
  control where you are. I just have never been that.
• 32:44
  And alcohol does that immediately.
• 32:47
  So again, whether I like it or not, I, I used it and used it
• 32:51
  too much, but I lost control. Like I said, I was no, I was no
• 32:57
  longer the Superman with all the answers with I got this, I
• 33:02
  didn't have it anymore. And I hated that.
• 33:05
  But you know, with, with the new way of for me is turning, you
• 33:13
  know, chaos into clarity, turning these, these, this
• 33:16
  adversity into strength. You know, that was, that was the
• 33:20
  moment that I said, well, let's get it back, You know, let's get
• 33:23
  that control back. And what does that look like?
• 33:25
  And again, for me, it wasn't just like, OK, rah, rah, you got
• 33:28
  this, let's go lace them up. And we, no, I, I needed to take
• 33:32
  action. I needed to, I needed to get
• 33:34
  help. I needed to ask for guidance.
• 33:37
  I needed to. And you know, I slowly did
• 33:40
  regain that control, that clarity that comes with, for me
• 33:43
  with sobriety, with a lot of people, right?
• 33:45
  The ability to make better decisions about your day-to-day
• 33:49
  or even the more strategic decisions in your life.
• 33:53
  The clarity that comes with sobriety for me was amazing.
• 33:57
  And that control, you know, came back.
• 33:59
  And as I came back, I realized that I didn't have to be
• 34:05
  steering the ship all the time, that I wasn't the captain of it
• 34:07
  anymore, that there was a there was someone else in charge.
• 34:10
  And we know who exactly that is. And, and that's the way I've
• 34:14
  been living my life. And that's, you know, the good
• 34:17
  Lord, you know, he, he's in charge, he has, the story has
• 34:21
  been written and I need to stop rewriting or attempting to
• 34:25
  rewrite it because it won't work.
• 34:28
  So that control came back. And I'm that that is, you know,
• 34:33
  for someone that is a little bit of a control freak or whatever
• 34:37
  action oriented, I got the amount that I want back, not the
• 34:42
  one that I got the one that sets boundaries that I referred to,
• 34:45
  the one that may not have all the answers and not and doesn't
• 34:50
  pretends to, the one that is willing to open up and ask for
• 34:54
  help or give help when needed. And that has been really
• 34:59
  gratifying moments throughout this process for me.
• 35:04
  That's awesome. You know, you talk about grace
• 35:07
  rebuilding you, Not discipline, not achievement.
• 35:11
  What does grace look like in recovery when faith feels
• 35:14
  distant but God and God feels silent?
• 35:20
  You know, I, I wear this shirt. Grace Leston.
• 35:22
  He shall boast. I mean, it's, it's a, it's a
• 35:25
  Ephesians 29. Only through his mercy and grace
• 35:29
  can we be saved. And that's what it means to me.
• 35:35
  That's what grace means to me. Only through his mercy and grace
• 35:38
  can can we be saved in that there's no cause for hostility
• 35:42
  between believers. We are all on.
• 35:44
  We are all unworthy and all saved by the the kindness of the
• 35:50
  good Lord. I mean, and that's what grace is
• 35:53
  to me. And you know, I, I tell the
• 35:56
  story how it happened. That's it was grace in the
• 36:00
  mirror. I was, I mean, I'm glad I don't
• 36:04
  have pictures of it because I wouldn't have been pretty.
• 36:06
  But like, I was so down and out and I was looking at the mirror
• 36:09
  and, and I, I was at my worst and it happened to be one of the
• 36:15
  most amazing moments of my life. How does that happen?
• 36:18
  Right? How does that happen when you're
• 36:21
  so down and out and not like I didn't have any answers.
• 36:24
  I felt like I didn't, even though if my family and loved
• 36:28
  ones are listen, listen to this, they would disagree, but I felt
• 36:31
  like I had no one to call they, they would disagree and I could
• 36:34
  have called them, but I, I felt like I had already called them
• 36:38
  too many times, if you will. And I was so down and out and it
• 36:44
  was so bad. And then it was so amazing.
• 36:47
  The same night this happened, the same moment it it switched
• 36:50
  and I said, all right, I got this.
• 36:54
  My experience might be different than others.
• 36:57
  There is that moment of grace, whether it be in the mirror, in
• 37:00
  the phone, or in a moment when you are reflecting that you can
• 37:06
  decide that it's, you know, I want to do this.
• 37:09
  Here's what needs to happen and let's go do it.
• 37:13
  It's my iron mines mentality that I talked about.
• 37:15
  It's the iron sharpens iron Proverbs 2717.
• 37:19
  You know, it's, it's the iron mine mentality.
• 37:24
  It's it's recommitting to facing your challenges.
• 37:29
  It's owning it. That's the O and then the N is
• 37:32
  the never looking back component and you have to recognize that
• 37:36
  root cause that that I talked about.
• 37:38
  And then you have to go get it and it it's not, you know, my
• 37:41
  recovery has taken, you know, we're a year and plus I'm a year
• 37:44
  plus into it. It's not over.
• 37:49
  It take it doesn't happen overnight.
• 37:50
  And that's part I, I didn't expect it to.
• 37:54
  So one step at a time, that's how it is.
• 38:00
  Exactly one step at a time. And you, you brought up another
• 38:03
  point there that I want to just touch on real fast for the
• 38:06
  listeners out there that are, maybe you have a loved one that
• 38:11
  is going through something or, or maybe you're going through
• 38:14
  something and you just feel like you don't have anybody to call
• 38:19
  because you've bugged them too much or, or whatever.
• 38:24
  And, or, or you're like, why doesn't this person call me?
• 38:29
  They're going through something. Why isn't my phone not ringing?
• 38:32
  I want to be there to help them. You have to understand that when
• 38:37
  you're going through an addiction and you're trying to
• 38:39
  come clean, picking up that phone, we in in recovery, it's
• 38:44
  often called the £500 telephone. That's how I refer to it all the
• 38:47
  time because picking up that phone makes it is, is, is next
• 38:53
  to impossible because it means picking up and admitting to
• 38:58
  somebody that you're struggling right then and there.
• 39:02
  And that that is a hard, hard pill to swallow.
• 39:07
  And it makes it very hard to pick up that phone because
• 39:10
  nobody wants to admit that they're struggling, even if
• 39:13
  there are, even even if they're, you know, new to recovery or
• 39:17
  whatever. Or I mean, even the most veteran
• 39:21
  people in recovery circles, you know, if especially if you're a
• 39:25
  veteran, I would say if you're, you know, year, 2 years, three
• 39:28
  years, four years or more clean, to admit that you're struggling
• 39:32
  with something all of a sudden again is a hard thing to do.
• 39:36
  And so picking up that phone is not easy.
• 39:40
  So when you say why aren't they calling or why can't I pick up
• 39:45
  that phone and call, I want you to understand that you are not
• 39:49
  alone and this is not a unique situation.
• 39:52
  This is something that everybody going through recovery has dealt
• 39:57
  with and will deal with from now until the Lord comes back.
• 40:00
  Because it is against our human nature to want to show that
• 40:05
  we're weak and that we're struggling, especially to
• 40:09
  another human being. You're exactly right.
• 40:12
  And I was there, and here's what I know.
• 40:17
  I, I know two things well, I know there's someone out there
• 40:20
  that if you do pick up that phone that will, that will
• 40:23
  exhibit that same grace that I talked about.
• 40:27
  Otherwise, you're probably not talking to the right person.
• 40:30
  I, I know I would like anybody when they call me and they have
• 40:34
  a opening up about something for me, it's a, it's a, it's a safe
• 40:41
  room. It's a, there's no judgement.
• 40:43
  It's filled with grace. I'm not here to you've, you've
• 40:47
  already beaten yourself up enough, beating yourself up
• 40:50
  enough. I'm not going to do it anymore
• 40:52
  because I know that was for me the biggest thing that the, the
• 40:56
  shame that I put my own self through that compounded every
• 41:00
  single day because I was afraid to pick up the phone.
• 41:03
  You know, it's like adding interest and the interest, it
• 41:06
  gets heavier and heavier and the more interest, the more
• 41:10
  frightening it gets. And so you are not alone.
• 41:15
  I hope whoever listens to this has someone to call.
• 41:19
  And I also know the know that not everybody does and that's,
• 41:23
  that's unfortunate. And I, you know, I, so I, I'm
• 41:27
  someone that they, anybody can call, but I, I did have people
• 41:31
  to call. There are people that don't.
• 41:33
  And like I said it, it's unfortunate, but think about it
• 41:39
  a little bit, go a layer deeper, you know, hit the notes on this
• 41:44
  podcast and find my number or whatever.
• 41:46
  I don't know what the answer is, but someone's going to find some
• 41:49
  empathy for you out there and help you, you know, realize that
• 41:53
  first and foremost, you're not alone.
• 41:56
  Secondly, you're amazing. I don't even know you.
• 41:58
  And I'll tell you that because you're here and you're human and
• 42:02
  the God, the Lord has made you. So you're amazing.
• 42:04
  And sometimes people need to hear that.
• 42:06
  And it might be amazing in your own unique way.
• 42:11
  And that's just fine. We'll find it.
• 42:13
  And we're going to figure out how to, you know, leverage it
• 42:15
  because a lot of people forget their worth and their value
• 42:19
  during the times of struggle. And I was one of them.
• 42:23
  You know, for someone that, like I said, had it all in a
• 42:26
  successful career, I thought it was worthless.
• 42:28
  It was terrible. And I know I'm not anymore.
• 42:30
  I'm beyond, you know, I've got so much to offer now and in the
• 42:35
  right forum, sure. So we all do.
• 42:39
  And that's, that's such a huge message as to to that £500 phone
• 42:43
  does not need to weigh that much.
• 42:45
  No, it really doesn't. You know, one of the things that
• 42:48
  I think many high achievers struggle with, with, you know,
• 42:52
  when it comes to addiction and in burnout is isolation.
• 42:57
  You know, they, they, they, they feel like they're alone and so
• 43:00
  they isolate. Why do you think a leadership
• 43:03
  and responsibility often hide suffering so effectively?
• 43:07
  Yeah. Yeah, this is a sensitive topic
• 43:10
  for me because, you know, I'm a, I'm a former sales leader, you
• 43:15
  know, working with big sales teams.
• 43:18
  And I was also not the leader for a long time.
• 43:22
  And I was, you know, I was a salesperson, I was a field, you
• 43:25
  know, I was out in the field doing my thing, grinding.
• 43:27
  And, you know, I, I guess my message would would be to, you
• 43:33
  know, leaders have an obligation to recognize some of the things
• 43:36
  that are going on with their troops, if you will, whether I
• 43:38
  use that military term, because they do do that in the military.
• 43:42
  But, you know, in, in cybersecurity, the harder you
• 43:46
  grinded, the more money that everybody was making.
• 43:49
  And, and that that's a, that's a flaw with the system, if you
• 43:52
  will, because there's not a lot of emphasis on healthcare or
• 43:56
  taking care of ourselves during, you know, my long career, there
• 44:01
  was a huge emphasis on being present, not always on the life
• 44:07
  of the party, entertaining. How late can you stay up and how
• 44:12
  early can you get back to the job and who's kicking their
• 44:16
  quotas butt and all these things.
• 44:18
  Like there's a huge emphasis on that.
• 44:19
  And again, not trying to change the model on that because it
• 44:23
  works, but leaders have an obligation to to recognize
• 44:27
  where, you know, a lot of their star athletes, if you will, are
• 44:31
  out partying all night and showing up not at their best,
• 44:35
  right? Encouraging people to take, you
• 44:40
  know, a look at how this impacts them.
• 44:44
  Like, I wish when I was 30, someone told me that I was
• 44:47
  running too hard. I really do.
• 44:49
  And again, my leaders, they are all amazing.
• 44:53
  They they it's not on them. I had, I point no blame to
• 44:56
  anybody, but I'm telling you, if I, I, I really wish someone
• 45:00
  would have and I still was the one out running in the mornings
• 45:03
  and doing this, but not enough, not enough.
• 45:05
  We were eating whatever we wanted, drinking whatever we
• 45:08
  wanted. The sleep patterns were
• 45:10
  terrible. We worked so hard.
• 45:12
  The stress was high. There's no emphasis on on mental
• 45:17
  health or well-being at that point, none whatsoever.
• 45:22
  Yeah, and I can hear the I can hear, I can just hear them in
• 45:26
  out out there right now. Listen, be like, well, if I even
• 45:29
  if I told them they were running too hard, they wouldn't listen.
• 45:32
  It's true. I probably would have said the
• 45:34
  same thing, but the reality is is that good leaders get to
• 45:37
  their folks. Like leading by example
• 45:39
  eliminates that what's so you know, I'm now as a leader, even
• 45:43
  though my team is much smaller. But if even if I had a team of
• 45:46
  100, I would be the first. I'd be out there at 6:30 doing
• 45:49
  the the five mile run. Again, I'm not trying to, but
• 45:52
  people need to move. People need to take action.
• 45:54
  People need to go to the doctor. People need, you know, early
• 45:57
  detection. We haven't talked about any of
• 45:59
  the the medical side of the things, but these things need to
• 46:02
  be taking place alongside with all the other stuff.
• 46:05
  Yeah, well, and, and you just have to, even if they're not
• 46:09
  going to listen, if you at least do your part of showing your
• 46:13
  concern and saying, hey, this is what I'm noticing.
• 46:17
  And just letting them know that you care and you're pointing out
• 46:20
  something can go a lot further than anything else.
• 46:24
  It does. It does.
• 46:25
  And so you, you mentioned the medical side of things.
• 46:30
  Talk to us a little bit about that side of, of, of everything
• 46:33
  that you've gone through and let's just kind of dig into that
• 46:38
  just a little bit. Yeah.
• 46:39
  So, you know, you know, there's, there's a good and bad to this
• 46:44
  story. The good part is, you know, with
• 46:45
  my addiction, with my alcohol abuse and whatnot, I, you know,
• 46:48
  I was deteriorating internally and I, I knew that I felt that
• 46:56
  it was visible and I was able to essentially, you know, get help
• 47:01
  before the, it got too bad. And, you know, all things have
• 47:06
  been on the up and up and my health is amazing.
• 47:09
  And the way the body recovers after so many years of abuse is,
• 47:13
  is incredible in and of itself. So, yeah, I, you know, I, I take
• 47:19
  my health and Wellness very, very seriously.
• 47:21
  And, you know, over the last year or so, I've been, I've been
• 47:27
  being monitored for, you know, for PSA, for prostate cancer.
• 47:32
  And, you know, I started that process when I was 45 years old,
• 47:37
  which is early for most men because a typical age is 50, I
• 47:42
  guess. But I started at 45 based on
• 47:45
  some family history and, and doctors, you know, inquiries.
• 47:51
  So, you know, that led to an early detection of prostate
• 47:54
  cancer essentially. And I, I tried to beat around
• 47:57
  the Bush there. But essentially, you know, my
• 47:58
  early, early testing and monitoring allowed me to
• 48:04
  unfortunately get a call that said, you know, we want to have
• 48:07
  you this looked at. And you know, when that was
• 48:10
  looked at, it turned out to be, you know, a positive test for
• 48:14
  stage 3 prostate cancer and action needed to be taken
• 48:17
  immediately, which was, but without, without the testing and
• 48:23
  whatnot, I, I probably, I didn't have any symptoms.
• 48:26
  I, I felt fine. There was nothing indicating
• 48:28
  that it was just blood tests. So without taking that action, I
• 48:32
  would have, I would have not known about it and it would
• 48:35
  have, you know, progressed and, and probably metastasized into
• 48:39
  something much worse down the road.
• 48:41
  I don't know. But that's typically the path,
• 48:45
  you know, as I mentioned, early detection allowed me to detect
• 48:48
  it and I had surgery, I had a full prostatectomy and on
• 48:53
  November 9th of this, you know, so 11 weeks ago now also wearing
• 48:58
  that as a badge of honor because it is another topic that men are
• 49:01
  sensitive about. And I understand that.
• 49:04
  I, I really do, but I'm not because I don't have a prostate
• 49:09
  anymore. I had it taken out, which allows
• 49:10
  me to be, you know, for the moment, cancer free, which I'm
• 49:14
  so incredibly grateful for. I've chosen to be an advocate
• 49:20
  for the topic because I think more of us, you know, there's so
• 49:23
  many people that don't even know that they should be asking this
• 49:27
  question when they go to their doctor for their annual, annual
• 49:29
  physical. Like, can you check my PSA
• 49:31
  levels? I have guys that are my age that
• 49:33
  are saying, you know, what's APSA level?
• 49:35
  Like seriously? And, and it is serious and it's
• 49:39
  unfortunate, but it's something that shouldn't be the case
• 49:42
  because it's so easy to detect and it, it's part of the blood
• 49:46
  work. It's not an additional, well, it
• 49:49
  might be an additional line item, but it's not another
• 49:52
  pinprick or this or that, whatever.
• 49:54
  It's just a, and you know, it's could say, you know, I'm like I
• 50:00
  said, I had this, the, the surgery and that's a huge
• 50:03
  decision, a life changing decision because there's a lot
• 50:06
  of components that are involved in that.
• 50:09
  But for me, being 51 and healthy and wanting to live a long
• 50:15
  healthy life for the next whatever, 30-40 years, God
• 50:18
  willing, that was the right move for me.
• 50:21
  So I'm, you know, I made that decision.
• 50:24
  I'm grateful for it. But the point is, is, well,
• 50:26
  there's many points, but one that I, I don't want to forget
• 50:29
  about is that even, you know, my, I had completely turned my
• 50:33
  life around and things are going amazing and I'm so proud and all
• 50:36
  these things and adversity doesn't pick when it shows up
• 50:40
  right? So, you know, just as all these
• 50:42
  things were going great, my business was starting to be
• 50:45
  recognized and you know, I got that call about the cancer
• 50:49
  treatment. So I decided to or the cancer
• 50:53
  diagnosis, you know, and that that was, you know, that was a
• 50:56
  gut punch, right? That was, that's a bad analogy.
• 50:59
  But you know, there's a lot of ways people handle those types
• 51:03
  of situations. I chose to die.
• 51:04
  I chose to find out exactly what I needed to do based on my
• 51:08
  diagnosis in current situation to fix it.
• 51:13
  And I was fortunate that the Mayo Clinic is here in
• 51:17
  Jacksonville, FL where I live, amazing doctors, amazing
• 51:21
  surgeons. And I learned about my
• 51:24
  diagnosis. And as I mentioned, the decision
• 51:27
  was to make to have surgery, which I did.
• 51:29
  And I'm healthy and clear and you know, 10 weeks post surgery
• 51:34
  and amazing. And hopefully that'll be the
• 51:36
  case forever. But if I didn't have the clarity
• 51:42
  that I talked about earlier that I have when adversity shows its
• 51:46
  face, I don't know if I would have handled it the same way
• 51:49
  that I did. Because it's easy to panic.
• 51:53
  It's also easy to go back to bad habits, right?
• 51:57
  Cancer diagnosis is a tough one, and I didn't do that.
• 52:02
  I chose to to face it head on. I chose to embrace it as another
• 52:09
  one of these badges of honor that, you know, I can.
• 52:11
  I've been blessed that I was. You know, I've used the early
• 52:17
  detection and caught it before it got worse.
• 52:20
  And now I'm going to speak up about it and tell people how
• 52:23
  much, you know, how amazing it is that I, how I feel.
• 52:28
  But during the process, yeah, it was terrible.
• 52:32
  The surgery was, was amazing. But yeah, and these are just the
• 52:36
  things, like I said, adversity doesn't pick.
• 52:38
  It's if you haven't faced adversity in your life, it's
• 52:42
  time to prepare for it 'cause it will show its face.
• 52:44
  And, you know, being prepared and being Claire will help when
• 52:49
  it does come. And, you know, I was prepared
• 52:51
  for it. And had I been still struggling
• 52:54
  with some of the things that I struggled with before, I'm not
• 52:57
  sure I would have been prepared for it.
• 52:58
  I think it, you know, so I'm, I'm so grateful for that and the
• 53:02
  way it all kind of unfolded. Yeah, that's that's, you know it
• 53:11
  when when people think about recovery, they think, wow, man,
• 53:14
  you've been through a lot. And then you layer on to it that
• 53:18
  your battle with cancer and that just is like another layer.
• 53:21
  And that's that's a lot for anybody to handle one of them,
• 53:25
  let alone or one thing, let alone two big, two big life
• 53:29
  altering things. And you know, when you, when you
• 53:33
  deal with things like that, you need community in your life
• 53:37
  because it, that's what helps keeps you going.
• 53:40
  And so when you think about community, I think there's a lot
• 53:45
  of people out there that want to resist it, right?
• 53:47
  They want to try and do things by themselves because they don't
• 53:51
  want to burden others. They don't want others to know
• 53:53
  what they're dealing with. Whatever the reason, there's
• 53:56
  multiple or different reasons that people would choose to
• 53:58
  isolate and keep it inward instead of relying on community.
• 54:02
  When you think about your story, what finally convinced you that
• 54:08
  community was needing was needed?
• 54:10
  Excuse me? And that you couldn't do it
• 54:13
  alone? Well, I, I, I'm going to
• 54:18
  immediately go back to the first part of my, our discussion
• 54:21
  talking about the roots and growing up in Buffalo and this,
• 54:25
  you know, this Catholic environment.
• 54:26
  And, you know, that's where my, my mother still is and that's
• 54:30
  where, you know, her family and friends are.
• 54:32
  And a lot of my family and friends are still there.
• 54:34
  And, you know, it's amazing when you let your community know that
• 54:42
  you're, you're struggling with whatever it is.
• 54:45
  And you know, the amount of prayer that came, that was the
• 54:50
  amount of prayers that were directed towards me during my,
• 54:52
  my cancer was incredible. I don't even know where to like
• 54:57
  the people reaching out by the whatever 50s or hundreds, I
• 55:01
  don't know more than I thought I knew praying for me and being a
• 55:06
  part of their thought process in the morning or whenever they're
• 55:10
  saying their prayers and the cards and the well wishes.
• 55:14
  And it's amazing, you know, I'm so grateful for that because I
• 55:20
  don't know, I, I, I don't want to say that I took it for
• 55:22
  granted, but I never had to lean on it like I did most recently.
• 55:26
  And it wasn't something that I asked for.
• 55:31
  It wasn't something that, you know, it was there.
• 55:34
  It was just there. And, you know, through my
• 55:37
  mother's efforts or, you know, just my mother being my mother.
• 55:41
  And you know, she has her prayer groups.
• 55:43
  I mean it, it's spread. And like I said, the amount of
• 55:46
  prayers that were, that, that I felt during that time were, were
• 55:50
  amazing. And, and that's what community,
• 55:54
  you know, when you, when you really need them like that.
• 55:57
  And it's, it's the, it's the unmentioned moments where while
• 56:00
  I getting cards from people that, that I've never even met
• 56:05
  before people for my sister's work, I don't, I don't know,
• 56:08
  these people are sending me handwritten cards, giving me
• 56:12
  well wishes. That's amazing.
• 56:14
  Those people don't need to do that right That is incredible
• 56:18
  that they take time out of their day.
• 56:21
  They only because they know my sister to send me a card giving
• 56:25
  me well like that. That says a lot about the
• 56:28
  humanity that exists out there. You know, the good side of it
• 56:34
  because we see a lot of the negativity in our world right
• 56:37
  now, but these are the types of things that I was experiencing
• 56:40
  regularly. And so I, you know, I just
• 56:44
  overwhelmed with gratitude for for that level of community.
• 56:48
  And now the goal is to create a bigger community, the one that
• 56:53
  that I can reach out to so that I can help people that are
• 56:57
  struggling, that might not have access to what I did.
• 57:02
  Because the stranger community is amazing too.
• 57:06
  Like if you are outspoken on social media or whatever about
• 57:09
  your whatever's ailing you, the amount of love and support that
• 57:14
  you can get from people that you've never met is incredible.
• 57:17
  Obviously there's always going to be the haters, but we just
• 57:20
  dismissed those no problem. And yeah, so I, I love
• 57:25
  community, couldn't do without them, without one or two or
• 57:29
  whoever many communities I have because I, I truly feel blessed
• 57:33
  by that. That's awesome.
• 57:37
  Well, Kenny, how if somebody's out there and they're like, I
• 57:40
  want to know more about you or they want to be able to connect
• 57:43
  with you, how can they reach out to you?
• 57:46
  So I, the best way is my website, it's Iron Mind
• 57:49
  advisors.com. You know, I, I try to use that
• 57:53
  as my, you know, my platform to, to get not only day-to-day stuff
• 57:59
  because I use TikTok and some of the social media platforms, but
• 58:02
  it's all, it all gravitates on my website where I'm trying to
• 58:05
  use that as a platform for people to, you know, as I build
• 58:09
  another community of, of people that are, whether it's in
• 58:12
  recovery or high achievers, but a place where they can go for
• 58:16
  tips or tricks about how I kind of tackle some of the challenges
• 58:19
  that I face on a daily basis and how I turn some of that chaos
• 58:22
  into clarity. And that's on my website, Iron
• 58:25
  Mind advisors. I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on TikTok,
• 58:29
  Instagram, all the links are on my websites.
• 58:31
  There's a blog post there. So I would say starting at Iron
• 58:35
  Mind advisors is the best place. And, and then if people filter
• 58:38
  to me, you know, I'm, I love talking about the stuff and I am
• 58:43
  here to help. So happy to do that at whatever
• 58:46
  capacity. Awesome.
• 58:48
  And if you're listening and you said, what was that website
• 58:51
  again? Just check the show notes.
• 58:53
  I'll have it linked down there for you to be able to find him
• 58:55
  easily. Well, Kenny, one of the things
• 58:58
  that I love to do on this podcast to end it is to leave my
• 59:02
  listeners with an action step, something that they can meditate
• 59:06
  on, something that they can do right now kind of by themselves
• 59:10
  to keep moving forward and to begin living unmasked.
• 59:15
  And so for the people out there that are listening who feel like
• 59:19
  that, who feel like they're barely holding on to it, you
• 59:23
  know, they're, they're behind, they're, they just feel like
• 59:28
  they, they, they don't know what to do next.
• 59:31
  Yeah. What would you want them to know
• 59:33
  right now about Grace? Yeah, I, I would want them to,
• 59:39
  to, to reflect on what happened to me and, and to give
• 59:42
  themselves a little pat on the back and some grace and remind
• 59:45
  themselves that whatever, you know, bad feelings or vibes that
• 59:50
  they have going on about themselves and their head are
• 59:52
  strictly that. And that there is a, you know,
• 59:55
  to try to reverse that a little bit, to try to give yourself a
• 59:58
  little bit of the grace in the mirror.
• 1:00:00
  Doesn't have to be full on. Everything's gone.
• 1:00:03
  And I feel great. I'm just saying that there's
• 1:00:05
  these little moments where you are not alone.
• 1:00:10
  You're amazing. A little grace in the mirror.
• 1:00:13
  And then as we start our week, check those boxes, you know,
• 1:00:17
  let's set some goals. I, I love to check boxes at the
• 1:00:20
  end of my day, whether it's the laundry or grocery shopping,
• 1:00:24
  along with the work related in school stuff, checking those
• 1:00:27
  boxes, making sure that we're, you know, we're, we're putting 1
• 1:00:31
  foot in front of the other on a regular basis.
• 1:00:34
  And if you're a high achiever, again, there's still boxes to be
• 1:00:37
  checked everyday that make us, you know, we're not no one's
• 1:00:41
  perfect. We always have room for
• 1:00:42
  improvement. And it doesn't have to be
• 1:00:43
  grandiose, can be within those boundaries.
• 1:00:46
  But you know, and if if you need something, pick up the Bible and
• 1:00:51
  read a chapter of Proverbs. You'll be blessed every time.
• 1:00:57
  I love it. Well, Kenny, thanks so much for
• 1:00:59
  joining us today and Unmasked and and trusting the Unmasked
• 1:01:02
  community with your story. Yeah, it's my pleasure.
• 1:01:05
  Thank you very much for having me.
• 1:01:07
  My pleasure indeed. Well, thanks for joining me
• 1:01:15
  today on Unmask and again, a huge thanks to Kenny for joining
• 1:01:19
  us and being so open and honest with his story and the journey
• 1:01:22
  that he has been through. If something in this episode
• 1:01:25
  spoke to you, don't let us stop with you.
• 1:01:27
  Share it with the one person that God put on your heart while
• 1:01:30
  you were listening because you never know whose breakthrough
• 1:01:33
  might start with just a simple message from you.
• 1:01:36
  If you want more encouragement, or you want to work with me
• 1:01:38
  one-on-one, or you're interested in having me speak at your
• 1:01:41
  church or event, connect with me at wesleyfarnsworth.com and make
• 1:01:46
  sure you join the Unmasked community by connecting with us
• 1:01:49
  on social media so that we can keep walking this journey
• 1:01:52
  together. Until next time, remember that
• 1:01:55
  grace is greater than your past, and freedom begins the moment
• 1:01:59
  that you choose to live unmasked.
• 1:02:02
  God bless you.