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22. How you can use the Law of Attraction to *change* your life after Divorce · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear Divorce Diary with my coach, dawn, where we explore the post-divorce life and you, the woman who lives it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We cover everything from trauma during and after divorce to feeling like a stranger in your own life and the new frontier of life as a single woman, cosing in for the conversations we've been longing to have about this new life.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, i want to start today with a big thank you to you for always taking me as I am.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: You know, last week I was so tired when I recorded the pod and so we talked about sleep, and this week I'm recording outside because there is some stuff going on inside, so you may hear some random sounds today, but just know that it's because I love this and you and everything we talk about so much can't stop, won't stop.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: So thank you, thank you.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Today we are going to talk about the law of attraction, and many of you have probably heard of it, and for some of you maybe it's new.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: But in my life, law of attraction has really made a huge difference and I have been so unbelievably passionate about it lately that people have been starting to say there is something different about you, don, and that is remarkable, right, because I've done a lot of therapies in my life and for something to have made that much of a difference that people are like man, you are showing up different.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: We got to talk about it, right, we got to talk about it.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: So, some backstory law of attraction I've probably like tuned in and out of over the course of my healing journey, but what I have landed on this year is that, of all the things I have leaned into and explored in my life, in my spiritual journey, in my spiritual journey, right, law of attraction makes the most sense to me.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: It feels like a distillation of every amazing and fundamental thing I've heard in any spiritual philosophy or religion.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I feel like it aligns with the core of Christianity, which is the religion that I was raised with.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, there are several departures, but at the core I feel like there is beautiful alignment and it has just been completely soothing and empowering to me for me to really claim my sense of spirituality, this thing that has always called to me my entire life a power greater than ourselves, belief in something, a larger organization For me.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I see a sunrise or a sunset and I'm like, boom, there is more, there is more out there, and so I've always been kind of questing to find what makes sense, what is true, what is right in the world of spirituality.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: For me, at this stage of my journey, law of attraction has become it, and I'm deeply grateful for all of the teachers who have put out the information, and I'm happy to share any of that with anybody who's interested.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Today we're going to talk about law of attraction, how it's making a difference in my life, how it can make a difference in your life, and I'm going to dig into many of the most popular questions out there about law of attraction.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to see how this lands with you.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: It's super exciting.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: The first common question that is out there is what is the law of attraction?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: The law of attraction states that it is a law of the universe, of how the universe expands and responds to the beings in it.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Law of attraction says that we are all vibrational beings, that everything around us has a vibration.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: This is the little segue into quantum physics, which we are not going to dabble in today because it's above my pay grade.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Many of these ideas have been vetted in the scientific world.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: In the world of physics We can measure much of what the law of attraction states, which I love.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Anyone who's followed me for any length of time knows that I frequently talk about the marriage of science and spirituality, and to me, this is that We can measure it, and also, oh man, it is totally woo.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: The law of attraction states that we are all vibrational beings and that everything around us has a vibration and therefore has a consciousness, and that whatever vibrational frequency we are vibrating at is what we attract or magnet to us.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: How do we know what our vibrational frequency is?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: That's a great question.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I don't have an exact measurement for you, but I do know that the earth has a vibrational frequency of 7.83 or something like that.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: It has a natural rhythm.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: There are joyful, pleasant vibrational frequencies that are higher, and then there are lower vibrational frequencies that are pain and grief and fear and anger and all of those types of things.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: So in the vibrational scale, we can see that pain is on the lower end and pleasure is on the higher end, and there is a range of everything in between.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: And so the law of attraction states that wherever your being is vibrating at the time is what you're going to draw to you.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So have you ever heard that, saying it rains at pores or that things come in threes.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I would say that those two statements, without having Googled this right, are an exercise of the law of attraction, that when we start to vibrate in a certain frequency and then that's kind of where we land and we take up space in that vibration for a period of time that's when we start to attract multiple incidents that feel a same type of way to us, and so what I love about all of this is the motivation it has given me to get really intentional about managing my thoughts and my emotions.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Have you ever heard the phrase?
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I love this one.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she was really getting drunk on her emotions, right.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So it's the idea that when we start to catch a feeling that sometimes we just really have a craving to freaking, lean into it, right, we just want to be angry and we just want to rant and we just want to vent because it feels so good and it feels so validating and it feels so like I just want to bathe in this, right.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: And so I don't remember how long ago or where I might have heard it in Alan on actually getting drunk on.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: That probably is where I heard it getting drunk on emotions.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Right, can you totally relate to what I'm saying?
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: right, let's say you're having a vent, sesh around your ex and, like you're just right, fast tracking to like all the anger and frustration.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: But tapping into the law of attraction, understanding that what I'm vibrating is what I'm attracting to me, all of a sudden gives me a crap load of motivation to say, oh, hell, no, hell, no, i don't want to get drunk on my emotions anymore.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I don't want to keep thinking negative, fearful thoughts, i don't want to keep perseverating or ruminating on what could go wrong, because I then know that I am drawing things going wrong to me.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: And that has been like the game changer for me this year.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Right, the game changer because, listen, i'm a therapist, right, i'm all about let's feel your feelings.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: And, yes, we have to feel our feelings, we have to grieve our losses.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: But once we've done that, we don't have to keep going there.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: We do not have to keep going back to a thing that we have fully processed.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And so I think that I am probably at a place in my life where I have fully processed a great deal of things not completely right, where there's never done right.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not here to say that there's like done.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: There's always more.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: But I have processed so completely in many places that I don't have to keep going back and I can choose joy.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: And I can choose to get intentional about what I think and what I feel.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, all those gurus have said all those things about happiness is a choice.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: They are annoyingly accurate.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: You know, i think that there have been many years in my life where I have thought, man, but is it a choice?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: So what I want you to hear when I describe to you what the law of attraction is is that it is a deeply empowering way for you to create a life that you want And to get going with it like now.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's really working in my life.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: So how does it work?
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: It works like this We get really intentional about what we're thinking and what we're feeling.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: We get really intentional about what we're focusing on.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: We get really clear about what we want, which often comes as a result of knowing what you don't want, right?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: But in my experience as a therapist and just as a human, we are so much better at articulating what we don't want than what we want.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: So law of attraction works by us consciously and very specifically being able to articulate what we want, because it works in the affirmative.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And then it works based on us raising our vibration to meet the vibration of the thing that we want.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Does that make any sense or is that confusing?
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: So if I say I want to have an amazing relationship with a truly partner-y partner and I want it to have delicious conversation and amazing sex and so much support and acceptance and love, and that seems really far away from me, then I have to really work at allowing myself to get to a place, emotionally and in my thought life, where I believe and I trust and I have faith that those things that I have asked for are coming to me, and aligning myself with the emotional presentation of how it would feel to have that thing.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: So if I had this delicious relationship, how would I feel?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I would feel ease, i would feel passion, i would feel connection, i would feel excitement, right.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: And so how can I be in those feelings, even though the thing isn't here yet, right?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And that doesn't just shift like that.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: It's a process of raising our vibration, little by slow, day after day after day after day, walking in faith, stepping forward, looking for the signs, looking for the clues following our joy, which I have been playing with this year.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: What shirt in my closet brings me joy today, regardless of what person A, b or C is going to say about it?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: right?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Which food in the refrigerator brings me joy right now?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Which thing do I want to do in my spare time that brings me joy?
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: And practicing decision making based on what brings me joy versus, rather, what I should do?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: right?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: These are little ways that I have learned to raise my vibration as I move throughout the day, versus right last year.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe, as I move through my day, my vibration is getting lower and lower and lower, because we get depleted in a day, right?
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: But oh man, when you're tapping into what brings you joy all day long.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So I've started saying this phrase, which I have totally borrowed from Law of Attraction is This pleases me?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: And the people closest to me you know, maybe it's, it's um exhausting them, maybe not, i don't know, but I've been saying it so much Oh, this pleases me, oh, this pleases me, right, and they've just come to like.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: You know that that's, that's where I'm at And that's what I'm going to say, and I've become really more and more of the weird lady, quite honest.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: But I love it because guess what?
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I feel good.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I feel so good.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, so the secret to the law of attraction, i would say there is not just one, right, there is not just one, but there are a handful of them.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: And the things I want to draw your attention to are what you're focused on.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Focus is one of the number one tools associated with aligning yourself with the law of attraction, because if you're focused on joy, your vibration is going up And if you're focused on pain, your vibration is going down.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: But the thing that goes hand in hand with focus is momentum Right.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So when you think about the physics aspect of momentum, right.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: When you you heard that saying a body in motion stays in motion, but a body at rest stays at rest, right.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: So when you're on the couch and it's the end of the day and you're so exhausted and you're like I can't brush my teeth, i can't even take myself to bed, right, it's like there is zero momentum And you need inertia is the physics term to get that momentum going Right.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: And so what might be the inertia that gets you going off the sofa at the end of the day?
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: maybe you get suddenly a text message from that guy you've been messaging with and it sends you such a spark of joy.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: You're like, oh my goodness, right, and that spark right Is the inertia, and now you have a little bit of jazz, a little bit of juice to then stand up from the sofa and, like, make your way to the sink, brush your teeth and put yourself to bed, right.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: So when you have had a lot, and then, if you keep going in joy, right, you get more and more momentum in the direction of joy.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: But let's be honest, you've been experiencing a lot of momentum in the direction of sadness over the last couple of seasons of your life, right, and maybe you're edging out of that and that's amazing, right, we want to keep that going.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: So when something has a lot of momentum, it's hard to get that momentum, hard to pull your focus from it, because it has so much momentum Right.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Think about when you're on that roller coaster that has oh, so much momentum.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Think about trying to lift your head from the headrest.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: It's hard, right, cause there's so much momentum that's pushing your head back into the headrest.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: So until that momentum slows down, it's going to take an amount of effort to get to slow that momentum down and get you going in the other direction.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So some of the keys to switching your momentum, so that you can switch your focus, are really distracting yourself, right, like if you're noticing you have some momentum around being pissed off at your ex.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: It's time to jump in the swimming pool.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: It is time, to you know, watch a comedian on TV.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: It is time to pull up YouTube and watch your favorite funny cat videos, like.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Whatever is going to literally help you switch right And fall into a different vibration, and it doesn't always have to take much.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: But I think you have to kind of start feeling around, for if you switch your focus, it needs to be something that is so delicious, right, that it's effective at getting you moving in a different direction, and then you just have to stay intentional about that and doing that over and over and over again.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: So the two secrets of the law of attraction that I've mentioned so far are focus and momentum, and I think when you can put those two things into action, you can start to really get some nice results.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: So one of the other secrets that we're going to talk more about but is also getting really, really open to the scavenger hunt of life, right?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: So in life we often are so busy and so just trying to get it done and get from this to that and this to that and this to that, right And.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: And the key really to this whole growth process is opening your eyes and your experience enough to notice when you catch that crazy idea, or you get that sign, you know you see a bunch of numbers in a row, or you know frogs have started crossing your path all the time, or you get this crazy idea to go two towns over on a Tuesday night to do, oh, i don't know, you know it's like those are all the law of attraction at work in your life saying to you, yes, go this way.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: You know you're going to get that crazy idea.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: You're going to work in your life saying to you, yes, go this way.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, go this way.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, go this way, because everything you've asked for, everything that you've intended, everything that you wanted, is aligning itself to come to you.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: But when you've been vibrating at that low frequency, you're blocking it off.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Right, the place can start lining up for you.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: But if you're not getting the signs, if you're not following the clues and I love seeing it as a scavenger hunt because it's so fun.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Have you ever heard me talk about if you had an Easter egg option where, a it was just one of those egg drops where you just run out in open field and you collect as many eggs as possible, or, b you actually go on an Easter egg hunt?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Which one's more fun?
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Right, the Easter egg hunt is more fun, and that's how this process really works is understanding that it's a process of discovery and openness, and knowing that you know the search is a blast And then, when you find something, there's so much joy in that.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: So these are some of the key secrets to the law of attraction right, focus, momentum, getting hip to the Easter egg hunt, the scavenger hunt of life and all the signs that the universe is gonna put in your path.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Another really popular question is how do I start manifesting?
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Because manifesting is a key part of the law of attraction.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Right, getting.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: So?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: here's the answer.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Right, getting really, really clear about what you want I know you know what you don't want.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Right, and being able to write down or articulate what you want very clearly, and the more clear you can be, the better.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I could tell you some hysterical stories about people who have you know, said they wanted X, Y or Z, but it wasn't very clear And they got what they wanted but it wasn't really very fulfilling or rewarding because it wasn't specific enough, you know.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: So Get really clear about what you want, write it down, put it out there, own it and then Get really clear about how you would feel if you already had it.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Write that down, right, and then practice getting your vibration to the place where you feel the way you would feel if you already had the thing.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Because law of attraction says you can't get to the manifestation from where you are.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: You get to the manifestation by raising your vibration to the place where you are, a vibrational match To what is coming.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: So if what is coming would feel like freedom and support and acceptance and love and passion and excitement, then to really Attract that into your life you have to vibrational to get yourself to where you're already feeling freedom and peace and support and passion and excitement, right?
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: so this is how you start manifesting and and Really attending to it on a daily basis and then using these other tools in these other aspects, right about focus and momentum and Managing thoughts and feelings and all that stuff.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: All of this clicks together to create amazing manifestations and, girlfriend, it can happen much faster than you think, much, much faster than you think.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: So in all of this, there is an understanding in the law of attraction that we are in communication With Source, energy, universe, god, whatever you want to call it, right, because I believe that it aligns, and.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: And so how can we speak with the universe, with God?
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: and We've all done it right.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: We've all done that bathroom floor prayer Where we then cry ourselves to sleep and we wake up the next day, hopefully slightly better than the night before, but then we Go numb To the prayers being answered, right, we just want it to like hit us in the head.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: We want the answers to our prayer to just like drop in front of us, right, because we're too tired and too much going on and too many things For it to be any other way.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: But the way this works is we have to slow down And we have to listen closely and we have to be in dialogue with the Creator, right?
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: and so meditation I Saw that eye roll Meditation is where we listen to God speak in our lives.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: It's where we listen to the universe speaking in our lives, and this process cannot be complete without the listening portion.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Right, we can ask, but we must listen for the answer, we must slow down, we must tune in.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: And so Meditation I've had a hot and cold relationship with all of my life.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: There have been times I've gotten great benefits from it, primarily when I got into yoga.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Yoga really, really, really helped me Finding that meditative space.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: And then, on and off throughout my life, i would dabble in guided meditation or this or that, and Earlier this year I had some experiences that cued to me that I needed to get back into meditation.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Oh man, was I resistant.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Like I flat-out said I don't want to.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, okay, well, vibrationally speaking, how can I shift my I don't want to?
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: because I was in resistance.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: So I said, well, i want to want to, and This statement of I want to want to can be so useful to you love.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: So You don't want to stop being done with being angry with your ex right, but can you want to want to stop being angry with your ex right?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: This sentence is a beautiful bridge from a thing that you've got a lot of effing momentum around To the place where you need to get your momentum going right.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: So Meditation is the key.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: But Meditation ideally would feel good, right, and that hasn't always been my experience with meditation.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I think that's because I have an exponentially busy brain, and that's for a lot of reasons, right.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I think being very cerebral and overthinking has been how I've largely coped with anxiety over the course of my life, and then, additionally, you know, trauma, brain and a Bit of ADHD, and you know it's just really, really can be quite noisy up here, and so, getting to a place where I could truly find some peace and some flow, it is delicious, but it was not a simple path, right, and so I want you to have grace for yourself in that remember, this happens incrementally.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: But you can use guided meditation, you can use a walking meditation, you can use Vibrational meditations.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: You know those tracks that have a certain Frequency that helps you tap into the part of your brain that is more relaxed, right, you can use whatever Serves you love, whatever app you know you use.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: There are certainly several that have great content that I love.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Whatever you use, it helps you find a moment of peace in your brain.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: This is where we listen for God to speak to us, and it's where we slow things down enough that our vibration can go higher, and so Meditation is a key part to successfully Manifesting.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: But find what feels good, because meditation ideally will feel good.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Sometimes people ask what words to not say when manifesting, and I'm sure that there is someone who is further down this In this process than I am that has a very clear list of those.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: But I have a more broad general guideline.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's don't focus on what you don't want, right.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: The whole key is to stay focused on what we do want.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: So we're not typically habituated to, habituated to thinking in the affirmative, right.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I think I don't want my kid to fall.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I don't want my kid to fall, i don't want it, right.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: But what am I thinking about?
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about kid falling, kid falling right.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: So we say I want my kid to have ease and Safety, ease and safety, ease and safety, ease and safety, right.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: So it's getting very clear about thinking in the affirmative, feeling in the affirmative, experiencing life through The desire to manifest the affirmative, rather than the kind of perseverating on trying to push away the negative.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: So it really is a reorientation of how we think and how we Filter or sift through our lives.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: So I Don't want you to think about what you don't want.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: I want you to concentrate on what you do want.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: All those affirmative, positive, good vibrational words right ease, safety, abundance, support, passion, security.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: You know all of these right joy, hope, gratitude, appreciation Ooh, that's an.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna circle back to that one.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Appreciation loves is a key secret in the law of attraction.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: It is a game changer with regards to momentum and focus.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: If, each morning, you can spend one minute Thinking about what you appreciate, that will help you shift your momentum in your focus.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Appreciation is the vibrational frequency of manifestation.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I forgot that earlier.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that it popped up just now.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we have covered so many amazing things here.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Um, let's chat a smidge about affirmations and the role that they can play in this law of attraction manifestation journey.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: So affirmations are positive statements, right that we.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: We can find out there on, like every cute Etsy shop and Target Art Department and You know all the great quotes and and affirmative sayings.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: And I have a calendar of affirmations on my desk.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: I look at it every day.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for it.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I distill down the ones that I really love that I know I need to do some work around and I pin them up.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: I have talked about affirmations as a tool for a lot of years.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: When I was actively in the divorce process, i had this Louis Hay book of affirmations and I would take out my colored pencils and I would rewrite the affirmation from the book onto a piece of paper because and and this has gotten popular these days, right with coloring books, affirmation coloring books and The reason I would transfer it onto the paper is because I knew, as I was in the process of coloring out the affirmation on my own separate piece of paper, that I was Sitting with the positivity.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Right, i was rehearsing the positivity.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: I was working through something as I was coloring, coloring, coloring also, ps.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Coloring helps us process emotion without even having to like go heavy into the place.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: So it was like a two-foot one there.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: So I would hang them up around my apartment.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Right again, weird lady, i am the weird lady and I cared way more about what I was creating in my life than what the people who came to my apartment would think.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: So that is also key right in this whole transformative process.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: You cannot Be as effective as this at this, as you want to be, and still give a crap what people think, and I know we all Have work to do in that space and and it's been another key transformation in how this year has been different for me Is quitting what people think in a very loud and in charge way.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I don't mean loud at them, i mean like loud in my life and how it's showing up, right, a very.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: This is my one life and I'm not gonna spend it on you, i'm gonna spend it on me, you know, and and in doing so, ps I have way more Energy and love to give the people who mean the most to me, who are in my inner circle.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I have completely changed how I show up for my daughter this year and it's because I care less about what people Outside of my daughter and the people in my inner circle think and I have way more energy.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I am so much less frustrated.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I am so much more joy on any given day that she is not Getting upset about whether or not I'm mad at her anymore.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: She now assumes that I'm not mad at her, even when she's done stuff that Like spill acrylic paint on the carpet right, spilled a boatload of acrylic paint on the carpet, maybe six weeks ago, right, and you know what I did instead of getting mad at her is.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I redecorated the playroom that the acrylic paint was in because we had a conversation about manifesting and how She thought the paint on the carpet was pretty and I thought it probably was not very aligned, that her desk, where she would use The paint was in a back corner and she had to climb over this, that and the other thing to do it right.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: And PS.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: She said you know also, dad kept telling me I was gonna spill the paint.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I was gonna spill the paint, i was gonna spill the paint, right.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: So we had this really powerful conversation about manifestation and, rather than get mad at her about the carpet, i was like you know what?
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I really love the colors that you spilled and I love what this Means in our family.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: And you know what?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Let's redo your playroom to make it more age-appropriate, more user-friendly and, ps, a more joyful space that I don't feel so stressed out in this room, right?
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: so I Think I've gotten a long ways away from how affirmations can work in your life, but it's what I want you to hear is that Caring less about what people think and leaning more into affirmations is a path to you being able to have So much more love in your heart for yourself and the people in your inner circle, and it is such a delicious way to live.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: So I love affirmations, i love Having them around me.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Because of this, when you are initially trying to change your focus and your momentum, you've got a lot of negativity going on in your mind body and It would be unrealistic to expect you to think positive, to go from feeling upset and thinking negatively to all of a sudden having all of these positive thoughts at Your fingertips.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: It's just not realistic.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: And so I love affirmations because I a believe that they are possible.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: So that's key, right, when you want to know if they work.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: They work if You are willing to believe, and that is a key piece, right.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Affirmations do come true if you believe and you attune yourself.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: So I believe them, i believe it's possible.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I believe any freaking thing is possible and I believe you, my love walking this path of divorce recovery, are actually walking this path for the sole purpose of your Affirmations in your manifestations coming true.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: I believe that this experience that you're walking is here for you to exactly Have the things that you want, and it is a path that is trying to say you know What the cost is for the new life that you want is your old life.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: You cannot take your old life with you into the place where you want more Right.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: So I believe there is so much more for you.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: I believe that this is the way, and I believe that affirmations can get you there if you believe, and then you raise your vibration.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: So immersing yourself in positive thoughts via affirmations is wonderful, because I got to tell you When I'm going about my life and, let's say, something frustrating happens midway through my day.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: But I look at my desk and then I look at the corkboard behind my desk And then I look at.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: You know, my daughter loves collecting the little affirmation papers, because they have cute animals in nature pictures Right.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: And then on my daughter's playroom floor, the same one with the paint right is all the little affirmations She's collected in there.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: They're sitting there right, and then OPS, i have them written on my mirror and if you've done my 21 day free guided journaling program, you know that I give you a mirror message, affirmation One for each of the three weeks that you're journaling right, because putting an affirmation, a mirror message, on your mirror is Is part of how we immerse ourselves in this positive thinking process.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: So see, i was playing with law of attraction long before I really like dove deep into it this year, because I wrote those, that guided journaling program, several years ago now.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: So, putting those messages on your mirror, having them on your desk, having them on your phone screen, that's another part of the guided journaling program.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Right is having a phone Wallpaper message, because when you see these things and you're having a bad time and you look at you, it's like cues, you like, oh, that's right, that's what I'm supposed to be thinking.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: And it's just like this beautiful, lovely, easy, quick, delicious reminder of the life you're creating for yourself, rather than the life you've just moved through.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: And There's a yellow butterfly flying by.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, see, it pleased me and so I wanted to tell you about it.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Weird lady shows up again.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: So you know, what are the most powerful affirmations for you right now, there, when you flip through a coloring book or an affirmation Dakar, you know, calendar.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Whatever the most powerful affirmations are the ones that spark something inside of you, that are like oh, this would be great, right, something that you feel a connection with, like maybe you feel like it's possible, but you don't feel like it's completely true, right.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: One that you feel is completely impossible is not a great place to start, because when you look at it, it's going to create resistance or momentum in the wrong direction, right, it's gonna kick up Negative thoughts and emotions about it.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: So pick an affirmation for you that is got a little jazz on it, but that could be better, right, that could feel better, could feel bigger, could feel more true, and so that's the one that I want you to put on your phone screen, on your mirror, on your you know, corkboard or where are all the places.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: And so finding the message that suits you is super key.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: But, men, if you do it and you stick with it, it works.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: It works.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: So this has been an awesome, much longer than usual Conversation about law of attraction, but I am so hyped about it And I know it's been a long time coming in my life, and so I want to say to you if it seems like it's a lot to tackle, girlfriend, don't sweat that, right, like, let's just walk together and let's implement one of these things at a time.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Start with a mirror message, right, and then.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: And then start by noticing what you're focusing on and and let's just inch along with it together.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: Right, i'm right here with you.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: There are manifestations that I'm working on that have not come to fruition yet, and You know I am working on switching my thoughts and raising my vibration and all the things as well.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: So I cannot wait to hear from you on this.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: I would love to know some of the things that you a want to manifest be some of the tools that are working for you.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: I would love to know what you heard today that feels good and, most importantly, i would love to know what your questions are, because this conversation always sparks so many delicious questions.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: So hit me up.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Link is in the show notes if you want to reach out.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Have a beautiful, beautiful week.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Talk soon, peace, dear divorce diary is a podcast by my coach John.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: You can find more at my coach John dot com.