Latest / Recovery Chronicles / Recovery Chronicles Ep. 180 - Tim W.

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Recovery Chronicles Ep. 180 - Tim W. · Recovery Chronicles

0:05
Speaker 1: Welcome to Recovery Chronicles.
0:06
Speaker 2: My name is John Tragg and my sober date is
0:09
Speaker 2: June seventeenth, twenty nineteen. Join me as we hear from
0:12
Speaker 2: people who are on this journey that we call recovery. Okay, well,
0:20
Speaker 2: welcome to this episode of Recovery Chronicles. This is Joan
0:24
Speaker 2: Trigg and today I have with me Tim, my coworker
0:29
Speaker 2: from Heartview, and I'm super excited to hear about your story.
0:32
Speaker 1: So welcome today, Tim.
0:34
Speaker 2: You. So let's just kick it off a little bit.
0:38
Speaker 2: Let's start with tell me a little bit about you
0:41
Speaker 2: growing up and tell me about your family and all
0:44
Speaker 2: those types of things.
0:45
Speaker 3: So I grew up in a very violent, broken home.
0:48
Speaker 3: My parents were both alcoholics. During the day they worked
0:51
Speaker 3: in a bar and at night they drank in the bar.
0:53
Speaker 3: Typically they would come home and kind of be the
0:57
Speaker 3: life of the party type thing. You know, they would
0:59
Speaker 3: have people come over to the house and stuff like that.
1:01
Speaker 3: So that was a pretty regular occurrence. You know, like
1:05
Speaker 3: I said, a very violent home as well. You know, parents,
1:09
Speaker 3: you know, abusing each other or you know, getting into
1:12
Speaker 3: violent behaviors when they be drinking and stuff like that.
1:14
Speaker 3: And you know, on a typical night, you know, the
1:16
Speaker 3: cops would be called and stuff like that. So grew
1:18
Speaker 3: up in a very toxic environment.
1:20
Speaker 2: Sure yeah, okay, So siblings, anyone too.
1:27
Speaker 1: With you or yep?
1:28
Speaker 3: So I have my little sister, she's my biological sister, Nicole,
1:31
Speaker 3: she's a year younger than me. And then I have
1:34
Speaker 3: three older sisters. Kayla is down in Arkansas she's doing
1:37
Speaker 3: really well, Dedre and Wyoming and Crystal up here in
1:39
Speaker 3: North Dakota. And we were all pretty much subject to
1:42
Speaker 3: this these behaviors growing up. It was pretty much the normal.
1:46
Speaker 2: Sure, okay, So tell me about the first time that
1:50
Speaker 2: you remember trying whatever you tried first, alcohol, drugs?
1:55
Speaker 1: What was that like for you?
1:57
Speaker 3: So when I was eight years old, I have an uncle.
1:58
Speaker 3: He's ten years older than me. We grew up in
2:01
Speaker 3: a small town of Pick City in North Dakota. So
2:04
Speaker 3: at eight years old, my uncle, you know, when you're young,
2:06
Speaker 3: you always think it's cool to hang out with the
2:07
Speaker 3: other people and stuff like that, right, And so when
2:10
Speaker 3: I was eight years old, my uncle introduced me to marijuana.
2:12
Speaker 3: I alcohol on tobacco, okay, And I remember I was
2:16
Speaker 3: in first grade. My uncle had picked me up and
2:19
Speaker 3: we went driving around, and there was a common thing
2:21
Speaker 3: that we would do, you know, I'd hang out with him,
2:22
Speaker 3: we'd go drive around the area and stuff like that.
2:24
Speaker 3: And we went through a church one side of pick
2:26
Speaker 3: City one time and he pulled his steering whil off
2:29
Speaker 3: and he pulled something out of his steering wheel and
2:32
Speaker 3: I didn't know what it was at the time, and
2:33
Speaker 3: you know, he got it already and everything, and I'm
2:37
Speaker 3: in the back seat, you know, and he put it
2:38
Speaker 3: in my face and I just kind of breathed it in,
2:40
Speaker 3: you know, not know how to do everything, and then
2:42
Speaker 3: he showed me how. He's like, no, you do it
2:43
Speaker 3: this way, in that way. And so that was the
2:46
Speaker 3: first time I ever taught marijuana. And then alcohol was
2:49
Speaker 3: We were leaving my house to go driving around once
2:51
Speaker 3: again and my uncle told me to grab my parents'
2:53
Speaker 3: beer that was in the entryway and I remember taking
2:57
Speaker 3: that first drink and not being able to swallow it.
3:00
Speaker 3: Remember holding it in my mouth for about twenty minutes
3:02
Speaker 3: and was gagging, and finally he swallowed, you know, he
3:05
Speaker 3: got me in it. So and then at the same
3:07
Speaker 3: time he was giving me cigarettes and it would be
3:10
Speaker 3: I remember it was a marble red one hundred. He
3:12
Speaker 3: would give him to me back to back to back
3:14
Speaker 3: to back. And I remember he had just bought this
3:17
Speaker 3: ninety six Mustang and we were driving around and I
3:22
Speaker 3: ended up throwing up in the backseat of his car
3:24
Speaker 3: and it did not turn out pretty well. But and
3:27
Speaker 3: then you know, it became pretty much a regular occurrens
3:29
Speaker 3: from there.
3:30
Speaker 2: So super young man, right, yeah, what about like, uh,
3:36
Speaker 2: what does that look like then for you in terms
3:38
Speaker 2: of like school and all those types of things. I mean,
3:40
Speaker 2: that's that's pretty young to get to get started, and
3:46
Speaker 2: and when you start adding all that kind of stuff
3:48
Speaker 2: to your young body and young mind, yet definitely a
3:52
Speaker 2: disaster sometimes.
3:53
Speaker 1: So what does that look like for you then?
3:55
Speaker 3: So with me, it was a huge distraction. It took
3:58
Speaker 3: me on a whole detour, on a whole different projection
4:00
Speaker 3: in life, you know. And obviously with any chemical, you
4:03
Speaker 3: think it's a feel good chemical. It makes you feel different,
4:05
Speaker 3: you feel cool, you feel like you're growing up at
4:07
Speaker 3: such a young age, you know. And at the time,
4:10
Speaker 3: you know, I thought I liked it. You know, it
4:13
Speaker 3: gave me everything I needed. You know, I grew up
4:15
Speaker 3: in a home with lack of love, so I found
4:17
Speaker 3: my identity in the fun, in the drugs, in the
4:22
Speaker 3: partying lifestyle. That's where I thought I found my identity,
4:25
Speaker 3: and that's what I kind of grew into over the
4:26
Speaker 3: years and it developed into what it was. But I
4:30
Speaker 3: remember in first grade on the first time I ever
4:32
Speaker 3: tried marijuana. I went to school the next day and
4:36
Speaker 3: the teacher was walking down the hallway and they stopped
4:39
Speaker 3: by my jacket and smelled like marijuana. And I remember,
4:41
Speaker 3: back in the day everyone had the starter jackets with
4:43
Speaker 3: the front pouches on it. Yeah, I had a Miami's
4:45
Speaker 3: Dolphin one, and they stopped and they pulled it off
4:48
Speaker 3: the rack and they took it to the principal's office.
4:50
Speaker 3: And next thing you know, I'm being called to the
4:51
Speaker 3: principal's office and I had to write about two hundred
4:53
Speaker 3: I think it's two hundred words out of the dictionary.
4:55
Speaker 3: And all this happened in first grade. Yeah.
4:58
Speaker 1: Wow, So.
5:01
Speaker 2: Anything with your parents or you know, any of that
5:04
Speaker 2: kind of stuff.
5:04
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a pretty big deal for a first grader.
5:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, so my parents were mad, you know, they were mad,
5:10
Speaker 3: But at the time, you know, my parents have always
5:12
Speaker 3: been kind of more of acquaintances than the parental figures,
5:16
Speaker 3: so if we did something bad, we would get disciplined.
5:20
Speaker 3: You know, stuff like that. Talk to pretty pretty crazy,
5:24
Speaker 3: but you know there was really it just went back
5:27
Speaker 3: to normal, you know, it just like it didn't even
5:29
Speaker 3: skip a beat. You know, they came in, we sat
5:32
Speaker 3: with the principal, went home, and it was there was
5:35
Speaker 3: there was nothing, you know.
5:37
Speaker 1: Okay, So.
5:39
Speaker 2: Moving forward then, how does that look for you in
5:43
Speaker 2: terms of your I mean, does the use continue through
5:46
Speaker 2: elementary school and what? You know?
5:49
Speaker 1: Tell me a little bit more about that.
5:50
Speaker 3: Yep, So in sixth grade, I joined football. You know,
5:54
Speaker 3: I was playing football and was about twelve years old.
5:59
Speaker 3: I started hanging out with some rougher crowds, you know,
6:02
Speaker 3: some some friends and stuff like that. I started leaving
6:04
Speaker 3: the house and just being gone for days at a time.
6:06
Speaker 3: And all this is at twelve years old, and you know,
6:09
Speaker 3: we would be drinking multiple times a week, you know,
6:13
Speaker 3: especially on the weekends. You know, usually we would go
6:15
Speaker 3: out to the lake and we would sit up having
6:17
Speaker 3: bonfires and you know, party and drink and you in
6:20
Speaker 3: those small towns, you know, it's connecting towns. So it
6:22
Speaker 3: was like Underwood Garrison sort of lake. You know, we
6:25
Speaker 3: would all get together at a lake or out in
6:26
Speaker 3: the field somewhere, and we would drink and obviously until
6:31
Speaker 3: intoxication and you know, be driving home, you know, three
6:35
Speaker 3: in the morning. You know, all this stuff pretty it's
6:37
Speaker 3: pretty wild. And when I look back at it and
6:38
Speaker 3: how reckless it was at the time. But you know,
6:41
Speaker 3: that continued all the way up until you know, basically fifteen. Right,
6:47
Speaker 3: So when I was twelve years old, my parents would
6:50
Speaker 3: say they would be at the bar. They would come
6:52
Speaker 3: home and they would say, go get your friends, come
6:54
Speaker 3: over here, you know, and they would be the ones
6:56
Speaker 3: to supply the alcohol. And and in the small time
7:00
Speaker 3: I was a cop, basically was like, as long as
7:02
Speaker 3: nobody leaves, you know, if everybody stays in the house,
7:05
Speaker 3: it's okay. They would sit outside, but if anybody left,
7:07
Speaker 3: they would get in trouble. Right, So it was every
7:11
Speaker 3: weekend they would they would have all the office, Me
7:13
Speaker 3: and my sisters, we'd bring all our friends over. We
7:15
Speaker 3: would you know, a party, and you know, at the time,
7:18
Speaker 3: we thought to have a good time, you know, until
7:22
Speaker 3: I was fifteen years old and I was at school
7:24
Speaker 3: one day, and you know, at twelve years old, I
7:27
Speaker 3: started dabbling into selling marijuana as well. When I was
7:30
Speaker 3: in Fife when I was fifteen, I was at school
7:34
Speaker 3: one day and I came home and my mom said, Tim,
7:35
Speaker 3: the cops were here. They searched your room. They didn't
7:38
Speaker 3: find anything, but they said there was an oil can
7:40
Speaker 3: of drugs in the back tree row. And I didn't
7:43
Speaker 3: know anything about this. So they came and they found
7:48
Speaker 3: this oil can behind the tree row and they told
7:52
Speaker 3: my mom. They said, we know what Tim's doing. Either
7:54
Speaker 3: you guys moved town, or we're going to take Tim
7:56
Speaker 3: till he was twenty one. So come to find out,
8:00
Speaker 3: it was my bus driver that had put that oil
8:02
Speaker 3: can there. Yeah, he had put the oil can there,
8:06
Speaker 3: and he was trying to get me in some trouble.
8:09
Speaker 3: You know, at the time, you think you're slick and
8:10
Speaker 3: you think you're doing what you want to do, but really,
8:13
Speaker 3: you know, you're probably not as slick as you think
8:16
Speaker 3: you are, you know. And so that night when I
8:19
Speaker 3: got home from school, my mom actually packed us up
8:21
Speaker 3: in the car. My dad was a truck driver at
8:22
Speaker 3: the time and he was stationed in or He was
8:24
Speaker 3: at the truck stop in Carrington, so we drove the
8:26
Speaker 3: car to Carrington and then we moved to McCluskey or
8:29
Speaker 3: a good Rich Okay, and good Rich if you're familiar
8:31
Speaker 3: with that talent. I had five kids in my class.
8:35
Speaker 3: There was two graduating students that year. It's to give
8:38
Speaker 3: an example. There was no sixth grade that year. That's
8:40
Speaker 3: how small the school was. Okay, So I move over there,
8:44
Speaker 3: and I'm still in my behaviors. No, I'm mad I
8:46
Speaker 3: had to leave Underwood. I wanted to graduate with my
8:48
Speaker 3: whole class that I went to school with, my whole life.
8:50
Speaker 3: You know, I was mad I had to leave my friends.
8:53
Speaker 3: I was mad that I had to quit the drugs
8:55
Speaker 3: and the partying and stuff like that. Right, So I
8:58
Speaker 3: did my freshman year there and then I was like,
9:00
Speaker 3: all right, I'm going to move to Bismarck for the summer.
9:02
Speaker 3: I met a girl in from McCluskey, and she was
9:04
Speaker 3: the only other one that smoked marijuana and drank, and
9:07
Speaker 3: so we instantly connected on that level. Right. So we
9:10
Speaker 3: moved to Bismarck that summer and I'm like, all right,
9:12
Speaker 3: I'm gonna work. You know, I'm going to get out
9:14
Speaker 3: of good Rich. You know, there's really nothing in this town.
9:16
Speaker 3: So I'm going to move to Bismarck, and I'm going
9:17
Speaker 3: to start working and save some money to come back
9:19
Speaker 3: and do school again. Right, So I go down to Bismarck,
9:22
Speaker 3: and obviously that didn't turn out for working purposes. I
9:25
Speaker 3: started getting back into the lifestyle, you know. I started
9:28
Speaker 3: looking for people that were the connections, you know, and
9:31
Speaker 3: stuff like that that could offer me more substances and whatever.
9:34
Speaker 3: It was right, and just live in a pretty reckless lifestyle.
9:37
Speaker 3: And it came time to come home for school. So
9:41
Speaker 3: I called my parents and I was like, Hey, I'm
9:42
Speaker 3: going to come home, and they said, Tim, don't come home.
9:44
Speaker 3: We signed you out of school. We don't want you here.
9:47
Speaker 3: And I was fifteen at the time. So I said,
9:50
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm going to come home myself. I
9:53
Speaker 3: want to graduate high school and I'm going to know.
9:55
Speaker 3: So I talked to the Good Rich School and they
9:57
Speaker 3: allowed me to enroll myself back in high school. This
10:00
Speaker 3: relationship with my parents is still on an acquaintance basis, right,
10:04
Speaker 3: and now it's even on rockier terms. And I lasted
10:07
Speaker 3: about three months into my sophomore year in high school,
10:10
Speaker 3: and I ended up leaving actually three months into my
10:14
Speaker 3: junior year. I'm sorry. It was my sophomore year that
10:16
Speaker 3: I went to good Rich and that my junior year
10:19
Speaker 3: I made three months in and I just said, you
10:21
Speaker 3: know what, I can't do this no more. And I
10:23
Speaker 3: ended up coming down to Bismarck and I said, if
10:25
Speaker 3: my parents don't even want me at home, then I'm
10:27
Speaker 3: going to live my life for me. And I started
10:31
Speaker 3: dabbling into harder drugs at the time. When I was
10:35
Speaker 3: it was Christmas Eve of two thousand and five, I
10:38
Speaker 3: had an acquaintance. He had gave me some pills and
10:41
Speaker 3: he said they were muscle relaxers. Well here they ended
10:44
Speaker 3: up being a seizure medication. It was Christmas Eve of
10:46
Speaker 3: two thousand and five. I was at a family re
10:47
Speaker 3: union in pick City and I took a couple of
10:50
Speaker 3: these pills, and my cousin had wanted to take a
10:53
Speaker 3: couple two, so he convinced me to take a couple more,
10:55
Speaker 3: and we went. We drove around, and we smoked some
10:57
Speaker 3: marijuana and drank a little bit, and I remember pulling
11:01
Speaker 3: up into the parking lot of my uncle's house and
11:03
Speaker 3: going in and apparently I started doing some weird things.
11:07
Speaker 3: I was pinching my aunt's elbow. I was spitting. I
11:11
Speaker 3: was sitting on the couch acting like I was eating
11:13
Speaker 3: something and I wasn't, you know, I was acting like
11:16
Speaker 3: I had a hair in my mouth. And you know,
11:18
Speaker 3: my parents are watching me. You know, we're all you know,
11:20
Speaker 3: it's a family union, so everybody's you know, getting pretty crazy.
11:22
Speaker 3: But next thing you know, I remember being held down
11:27
Speaker 3: on the ground and spitting with my aunt putting her
11:31
Speaker 3: hand over my mouth. Apparently I had run into seizures.
11:36
Speaker 3: And I'm in pick City, which is about forty five
11:38
Speaker 3: minutes away from the nearest clinic, which was Hazen. So
11:42
Speaker 3: I remember getting loaded up into the empt. They said
11:44
Speaker 3: I broke the straps off the stretcher because I had
11:46
Speaker 3: adrenaline pumping and I was going into seizures really bad,
11:48
Speaker 3: and so they took me to Garrison Hospital. I remember
11:53
Speaker 3: looking over in that hospital and seeing my best friend's mom.
11:56
Speaker 3: She was a nurse there, and she had her hands
11:58
Speaker 3: in her face and she was crying. She said, I
12:00
Speaker 3: can't do it. He's like my son. And then I
12:02
Speaker 3: remember put tipping my head back up and the doctor
12:05
Speaker 3: was asking me, what's going on. We're trying to kill
12:06
Speaker 3: yourself in these things, and I was so confused and lost.
12:08
Speaker 3: I didn't know what had happened, you know, and then
12:11
Speaker 3: everything just went black again, and it felt like two
12:14
Speaker 3: minutes later. I woke up the next day. It was
12:16
Speaker 3: Christmas Day down here at the Saint Alexis Ward up
12:19
Speaker 3: on the top floor, and they said that I had died.
12:23
Speaker 3: I died for a minute and twenty five and they
12:25
Speaker 3: had brought me back and everything like that. They had
12:27
Speaker 3: done all the things, and they had recustated me and stuff.
12:30
Speaker 3: At the time, so I was about fifteen sixteen at
12:33
Speaker 3: the time, and it was it was a pretty crazy thing,
12:37
Speaker 3: but you know, it still wasn't enough to keep me
12:39
Speaker 3: from going back to that lifestyle.
12:41
Speaker 1: So when you were.
12:46
Speaker 2: Here at the hospital, then did you have support from
12:52
Speaker 2: anyone really? Then?
12:53
Speaker 1: I mean you think you.
12:54
Speaker 2: Had talked about your parents were more acquaintances and support.
12:57
Speaker 2: They weren't support group for I mean any capacity, right,
13:00
Speaker 2: So did you have anyone here supporting you or were
13:02
Speaker 2: you kind of.
13:03
Speaker 3: On your own kind of just live in my own life,
13:05
Speaker 3: on my own thing. My parents were there in the
13:06
Speaker 3: waiting room to pick me up, you know, as they
13:10
Speaker 3: had I had to be released to them, you know,
13:13
Speaker 3: So I did go back with them, but left, you know,
13:16
Speaker 3: shortly after.
13:17
Speaker 2: So where were you living when you were here in
13:19
Speaker 2: town or like, you know, tell me address, but I
13:21
Speaker 2: mean did you have a place like an apartment or
13:23
Speaker 2: a place to live or Okay, so you were figuring
13:26
Speaker 2: that out.
13:26
Speaker 3: Yep. So me and girlfriend McClusky, we had came down
13:29
Speaker 3: here and we got an apartment. She was eighteen, she
13:31
Speaker 3: just graduated, so we came down here and we got
13:32
Speaker 3: an apartment and then we lived kind of, we lived
13:36
Speaker 3: in that apartment for a while and then you know,
13:38
Speaker 3: I that was it. I moved over to Mandan and
13:41
Speaker 3: stuff like that.
13:43
Speaker 2: So that like we always I mean, and I say
13:47
Speaker 2: this too. You know, when you're using whatever you're using
13:51
Speaker 2: and you die almost or you in your case, you
13:54
Speaker 2: did unfortunately, it is usually not enough right to wake
13:59
Speaker 2: someone up.
14:00
Speaker 1: What does that look like for you?
14:02
Speaker 2: Though? When you get out of the hospital, you know,
14:05
Speaker 2: when you get back to to where you're living, how
14:09
Speaker 2: long tell do you think? Tell you went back to
14:13
Speaker 2: using or you know, trying stuff again.
14:16
Speaker 3: It really didn't skip a beat, you know, they said
14:18
Speaker 3: they when they had told me I lost eighty five
14:20
Speaker 3: percent of electrolytes in my brain from this. I was
14:24
Speaker 3: I was kind of messed up by that. I was
14:26
Speaker 3: you like, you'd ask me a question and I would
14:28
Speaker 3: feel like I would answer right away, but I would pause.
14:31
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be able to Like I was slow. My
14:33
Speaker 3: responses were so slow, and that kind of affected me
14:36
Speaker 3: a little bit too. But at the same time, I
14:40
Speaker 3: didn't skip a beat. I started messing around with methamphetamines, cocaine.
14:45
Speaker 3: I quit messing around with the pills. You know. That
14:49
Speaker 3: was that did that did scare me enough to stay
14:51
Speaker 3: away from those, you know, and I did have an
14:53
Speaker 3: uncle that had that had passed away from pancreatic cancer,
14:56
Speaker 3: and so there was pretty much an unlimited supply that
14:59
Speaker 3: me and my cousin we're using. And you know, I
15:01
Speaker 3: was able to get away from the pills, but I
15:02
Speaker 3: dabbled into the harder things, the harder street.
15:04
Speaker 2: Drugs, And how are you funding your habit at that point,
15:08
Speaker 2: I'm still selling, So you're selling and selling and using
15:12
Speaker 2: any legal stuff at this point.
15:14
Speaker 3: I mean pretty much. I always said I had standards.
15:18
Speaker 3: I would never touch opiates and stuff like, you know,
15:21
Speaker 3: like heroin and stuff. But I was doing meth ecstasy, cocaine.
15:26
Speaker 3: We're drinking every day, we're doing inhalance. You know, living
15:30
Speaker 3: a pretty reckless lifestyle. Anything that came my way, you know,
15:33
Speaker 3: if it changed my mind or altered my mind, basically
15:38
Speaker 3: I was. I was ready to do it.
15:41
Speaker 2: So you're about what I mean, Let's just give me
15:46
Speaker 2: an idea.
15:46
Speaker 1: About how old now.
15:47
Speaker 2: So you're now that you're out of the hospital and
15:49
Speaker 2: now dabbling into some of the other substances.
15:52
Speaker 3: I did this from about fifteen to nineteen. When I
15:57
Speaker 3: was nineteen, I was introduced to somebody that want a
16:00
Speaker 3: larger quantity of marijuana and ended up going to Wilton
16:07
Speaker 3: and INSTUITI As I went to Wilton to deliver this marijuana,
16:09
Speaker 3: I got pulled over and I got a delivery charge.
16:11
Speaker 3: I was nineteen years old. This is this is when
16:14
Speaker 3: my legal issues started after this. So growing up I
16:19
Speaker 3: lived a reckless lifestyle, but I was able to avoid
16:22
Speaker 3: legal issues and stuff like that. Right, But when I
16:25
Speaker 3: hit nineteen, I got charged with delivery marijuana conspiracy to
16:28
Speaker 3: possess and distribute marijuana. I was signed us to three
16:30
Speaker 3: years of eighteen months suspended with another three years of
16:33
Speaker 3: eighteen months suspended. Okay, and I when I sat. I
16:36
Speaker 3: think it was about fourteen months on that eighteen month
16:38
Speaker 3: sentence here out at the North Dakota State Penny. So
16:41
Speaker 3: I do that, I get out and I'm just about
16:45
Speaker 3: twenty one at the time, and you know that still
16:51
Speaker 3: wasn't enough for me. Right, So at this time is
16:55
Speaker 3: when the synthetic cannabinoids, the spice and all that stuff
16:58
Speaker 3: was coming out. So I was introduced to that spresh
17:01
Speaker 3: out of prison coming into the halfway House, and I
17:03
Speaker 3: started hanging out with people in that category. And I
17:08
Speaker 3: got out of the Halfway House and I was living
17:10
Speaker 3: over in Mandan at the Lewis and Clark building, and
17:12
Speaker 3: I started I met met a friend. His mom lived there,
17:16
Speaker 3: but he would hang out.
17:17
Speaker 2: There.
17:17
Speaker 3: Used to be a bar with there called the round Up,
17:19
Speaker 3: so we would hang out at the round Up every night.
17:21
Speaker 3: I was working at Taco John's Good Times as a supervisor,
17:24
Speaker 3: and I would get off work, I'd hurry up, fly
17:26
Speaker 3: over to the bar. We'd hang out for an hour
17:28
Speaker 3: over there, and then we'd go back to the apartment
17:30
Speaker 3: and we would continue to party. And spice came out.
17:34
Speaker 3: So there was one night I was leaving the bar
17:36
Speaker 3: and I went up to my apartment, and I grabbed
17:40
Speaker 3: just a little bit of the spice and I was leaving.
17:43
Speaker 3: We're going to go to this house and play card
17:46
Speaker 3: games and drinking games and stuff like that. And as
17:48
Speaker 3: soon as I'll walk out of the apartment door, there
17:49
Speaker 3: was two police officers that came off the elevator and
17:52
Speaker 3: they asked, hey, someone called nine one one from this building.
17:54
Speaker 2: Was it you?
17:55
Speaker 3: And I said no, and they said, all right, well,
17:58
Speaker 3: what's your name? And I gave him my name. And
18:00
Speaker 3: I was on probation at the time, you know, still
18:01
Speaker 3: not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But they
18:05
Speaker 3: ran my name. They sent them off probation. So this
18:06
Speaker 3: search me and they found that spice on me. So
18:09
Speaker 3: I got charged with two years flat for that, and
18:13
Speaker 3: I believe it was like three months later. They had
18:14
Speaker 3: to do the testing and at this time that was
18:16
Speaker 3: still new, so it took a few months to get
18:17
Speaker 3: it tested, and I ended up getting sentenced to two
18:20
Speaker 3: years flat. And I did every day on that in prison.
18:23
Speaker 3: So I go do that. I come home still doing
18:27
Speaker 3: the same thing, you know, same people, same place, the
18:29
Speaker 3: same things. I got the same outcome. So I was
18:33
Speaker 3: home and a friend had called them wanted some marijuana.
18:35
Speaker 3: So I'm like, all right, you know cool. I was
18:38
Speaker 3: at her friends drinking and I was like, God, let
18:41
Speaker 3: met you. I Kmart right, I got the money. It
18:42
Speaker 3: came and I went and picked it up, and you know,
18:44
Speaker 3: they went to Captain Jackson, bought some alcohol and met
18:47
Speaker 3: him at Staymart on State Street here, and I've seen
18:49
Speaker 3: some cops trive bys. I was like, you know, that's
18:51
Speaker 3: not feeling right right. So we went to the back
18:53
Speaker 3: of the Kelly in and she came over to the car.
18:57
Speaker 3: She grabbed the marijuana and then went back to her car,
18:59
Speaker 3: and as soon as she did was a white jeep
19:00
Speaker 3: that blocked her in and I took off down the road.
19:03
Speaker 3: I was in a car. I drove away. I got
19:04
Speaker 3: pulled over down the road and they they searched me
19:07
Speaker 3: and everything like that, and you know, they were asking
19:09
Speaker 3: what was that? What was that? And you know, I
19:11
Speaker 3: was criminal thinking, told them, oh, she just owed me
19:13
Speaker 3: some money. You know, well, I didn't have any money
19:15
Speaker 3: on me. I didn't have it. You know, there was
19:17
Speaker 3: nothing in the car, no drugs, no money, nothing. But
19:19
Speaker 3: stories didn't line up, and she ended up saying that
19:21
Speaker 3: I brought her to marijuana. So I got another delivery
19:25
Speaker 3: with marijuana at the time, okay, and I believe I
19:31
Speaker 3: was sens to I think three years, and I did
19:33
Speaker 3: about half that in Jamestown. So we do that and
19:39
Speaker 3: I get home. I come home instantly wanted to get
19:42
Speaker 3: back to the people I thought were friends, you know,
19:45
Speaker 3: back to that lifestyle. You know, nothing has clicked or
19:47
Speaker 3: changed in my life yet, you know, my whole prison time,
19:50
Speaker 3: I was just waiting to get home to get back
19:52
Speaker 3: to the same things, you know. So I get home
19:57
Speaker 3: and I was living on Nineteenth Street at the time,
20:00
Speaker 3: and we're sitting over there, and I had a friend.
20:06
Speaker 3: Meth started becoming more predominant in my life at this time,
20:09
Speaker 3: and started using it daily on a daily basis, you know,
20:12
Speaker 3: hanging out with a different crowd of people that we're
20:14
Speaker 3: using meth and stuff like that. So I my friend
20:19
Speaker 3: wanted to marijuana again, so I go pick him up.
20:21
Speaker 3: We take him to the house, and I had another
20:22
Speaker 3: friend that was there that knew the guy that had
20:25
Speaker 3: the marijuana. So we're there and we're doing this deal
20:28
Speaker 3: and this guy kept it was on the phone, and
20:31
Speaker 3: we didn't really know what for. He kept going out
20:33
Speaker 3: to the garage, and next thing, you know, there's a
20:36
Speaker 3: big bang on the door. So I go upstairs. And
20:39
Speaker 3: the person I was dating at the time was working
20:41
Speaker 3: at McDonald's, so I figured it was just her, you know.
20:44
Speaker 3: I get about halfway up the stairs and I hear
20:46
Speaker 3: Bismarck police bartman down on the ground, you know. And
20:48
Speaker 3: so they came in and they raided the house and
20:51
Speaker 3: come to find out that the guy on the phone
20:54
Speaker 3: was actually trying to lure somebody over to the house
20:59
Speaker 3: with ten thousand dollars he was going to rob him.
21:01
Speaker 3: And the guy had had the ten thousand dollars was
21:04
Speaker 3: using the task Force money to basically set up the
21:08
Speaker 3: guy that said he had the map. Okay, so we
21:11
Speaker 3: got caught in the crossfire of this situation. And when
21:15
Speaker 3: they came in and arrested everybody, they were looking for
21:16
Speaker 3: the money or the meth. And I didn't know anything
21:19
Speaker 3: about it, none of us did, only the one guy,
21:22
Speaker 3: and so we're all. I was confused, you know, everybody
21:25
Speaker 3: took off running, We hit and everything, and how I
21:27
Speaker 3: thought I'd be slecking go a hide behind a water heater.
21:29
Speaker 3: You know, they found me right away, and nobody wanted
21:34
Speaker 3: to own up to the marijuana in the house. So
21:36
Speaker 3: they were talking about seasoning the car and the houses
21:38
Speaker 3: and all that stuff for drug trafficking. So I said,
21:40
Speaker 3: you know what, it's my marijuana. I took the charge, right,
21:44
Speaker 3: So I'll sentenced to I think five years with half
21:47
Speaker 3: that suspended. And I got home April ten, twenty fifteen.
21:52
Speaker 3: When I got home, I was doing really good. I
21:54
Speaker 3: moved home. My parents lived up in Harvey at the time,
21:57
Speaker 3: and I needed to get back to Still nothing changed,
22:01
Speaker 3: same place, the same things, people, same things right, and
22:04
Speaker 3: nothing had changed. I couldn't wait to get back to Bismarck,
22:07
Speaker 3: back to the people, you know, see what's going on,
22:09
Speaker 3: you know, figure that out. Still stuck in that criminal thinking,
22:12
Speaker 3: that mentality and that that life cycle. Right. So in
22:16
Speaker 3: July of twenty fifteen, my dad started. There was a
22:20
Speaker 3: situation that happened. My niece and my dad were coloring
22:22
Speaker 3: at the table and my niece leaned over and she
22:24
Speaker 3: burned her arm inside of her arm with this my
22:26
Speaker 3: dad's cigarette, And she went to school and you know
22:29
Speaker 3: kids they kind of you know, tend to picket sores
22:31
Speaker 3: and stuff. Well, it got pretty big and pretty bad,
22:33
Speaker 3: and the school had actually pressed found the child to
22:36
Speaker 3: be charges on my dad. So my dad was at
22:39
Speaker 3: home one day and my dad pretty much raised my
22:40
Speaker 3: nieces and nephews from birth right, took him to school
22:43
Speaker 3: that everybody changed them, raised them. So when they came
22:46
Speaker 3: in and kicked the door in and they arrested him
22:48
Speaker 3: for found eachild abuse and they took him to jail,
22:50
Speaker 3: it was it was a pretty big shock, you know,
22:52
Speaker 3: like there was definitely not an intentional thing, you know,
22:56
Speaker 3: just say it was a kid reaching over, you know,
22:58
Speaker 3: it was an accident. But they were him for the
23:00
Speaker 3: failing you child abuse and he went to jail. And
23:02
Speaker 3: when he was in jail, he started like having weird behaviors. Right,
23:08
Speaker 3: he talked about seeing his brothers that had passed away,
23:11
Speaker 3: one of them from the pancreatic cancer and his older
23:13
Speaker 3: brother committed suicide, and he started seeing them, talking about
23:17
Speaker 3: seeing them in the jail and he was talking about
23:20
Speaker 3: seeing bodies and stuff on the floor, and you know,
23:23
Speaker 3: so they had him checked out and here he had
23:25
Speaker 3: dimension Alzheimer's starting to kick in lul Gering's disease. So
23:29
Speaker 3: they put him. He was in jail for about three
23:32
Speaker 3: months and then it took him to Jamestown, the geriatric unit,
23:35
Speaker 3: and it really slipped from there, right. It basically got
23:39
Speaker 3: to the point where my dad had blonde hair and
23:40
Speaker 3: blue eyes. Within that time, his hair went white and
23:43
Speaker 3: his eyes went black. And that's the moment when I
23:46
Speaker 3: realized when they say you can really see the spark
23:48
Speaker 3: of life in someone's eyes. Was when that, you know,
23:51
Speaker 3: from baby blue eyes to just black like a big pupil,
23:55
Speaker 3: you know. And he couldn't remember nothing, he had, couldn't talk,
24:00
Speaker 3: he couldn't walk, He had to be lifted out of
24:01
Speaker 3: bed with a crane.
24:04
Speaker 2: You know.
24:04
Speaker 3: It was very surreal. It's a very surreal moment to
24:06
Speaker 3: see a family member that kind of look at you,
24:09
Speaker 3: but look through you, you know. And I always in
24:13
Speaker 3: my mind, I always picture like it'd be like trapped
24:15
Speaker 3: in your own body, you know, Like I want to
24:17
Speaker 3: believe that you can hear me and understand me, but
24:19
Speaker 3: you can't out really express right. So when that happened,
24:23
Speaker 3: I kind of did the selfish thing, and I came
24:25
Speaker 3: to Bismarck and I met somebody that brought me back
24:29
Speaker 3: into the meth life, and by July of twenty fifteen,
24:34
Speaker 3: I was started hanging out with people, and people started
24:37
Speaker 3: kind of disappearing around me. You know, I didn't really
24:39
Speaker 3: think anything of it. It's always that mentality, you know,
24:43
Speaker 3: that will never happen to me.
24:44
Speaker 2: You know.
24:45
Speaker 3: It's those guys, you know, they're they're not being careful
24:48
Speaker 3: or whatever it is. Right, I'm trying to justify and
24:51
Speaker 3: minimize my you know, life and behavior at the time. Right, So.
24:57
Speaker 2: It was.
24:59
Speaker 3: See a friend of mine, the guy the guy was
25:02
Speaker 3: getting the meth from, had gotten busted out of the
25:04
Speaker 3: casino and they went through his phone and they found
25:06
Speaker 3: a text message for me saying Tim, I got you.
25:09
Speaker 3: I sent him my message saying I got you twenty
25:10
Speaker 3: five hundred, right, And when he had gotten caught at
25:14
Speaker 3: the casino, he had told him, well, they had asked
25:16
Speaker 3: him what's this for, and he said, oh, I gave
25:18
Speaker 3: him an ounce of myth. So from July basically that's
25:24
Speaker 3: the investigation started in July for me of twenty fifteen,
25:28
Speaker 3: and I was living reckless, started dabbling with needles, started
25:31
Speaker 3: using needles every day, started you know, driving, drinking, driving,
25:36
Speaker 3: smoking marijuana every day, you know, just living life and
25:39
Speaker 3: the life that I thought I wanted to have, you know,
25:41
Speaker 3: because I once again. I thought it would never happen
25:43
Speaker 3: to me. Well March fourteenth, twenty sixteen, so nine years today,
25:48
Speaker 3: I was at a friend's house and I felt something,
25:54
Speaker 3: something was off right. I kept seeing cars drive by,
25:57
Speaker 3: and so I ended up leaving the house and this
25:59
Speaker 3: guy that was with me, he's like, hey, can you
26:01
Speaker 3: give me a ride? And I was like, I got
26:02
Speaker 3: to get out of here, I can't, you know, and
26:03
Speaker 3: he's like, just give me a ride up here. So
26:05
Speaker 3: we go up to Rosser twenty third shoot in Rosser
26:10
Speaker 3: and I go into the house. I come back out
26:13
Speaker 3: because I didn't have any needles with me, so I
26:15
Speaker 3: was like, I got to go get the one. Okay.
26:16
Speaker 3: I leave and as soon as I get in the car,
26:18
Speaker 3: I see a silver Tahoe come down Rosser and they
26:21
Speaker 3: I look in the mirror and they turn around. So
26:23
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, it's you know, pretty suspicious, you know.
26:25
Speaker 3: So I turned down by Lucky's Bar there. I think
26:27
Speaker 3: he's on twenty second there, and I come down and
26:30
Speaker 3: I see another black SUV turn around right in the
26:33
Speaker 3: middle of the road. So I hit the gas. I
26:38
Speaker 3: took him on a high speed chase throughout the middle
26:40
Speaker 3: of downtown on Broadway and by the furniture store, and
26:43
Speaker 3: that literally down there. I was able to get away,
26:46
Speaker 3: but I had nowhere to go. I was in the
26:48
Speaker 3: car that was you know noticed, you know, marked, and
26:52
Speaker 3: so I was like, you know what, I got to
26:53
Speaker 3: go back down to the house. So I went down.
26:54
Speaker 3: I was staying up Denver Street at the time. I
26:56
Speaker 3: went down there, and as soon as I open up
26:58
Speaker 3: the door, both of those silver and black subs pull
27:00
Speaker 3: up behind me and they say, walleene, stop, you're under arrest.
27:03
Speaker 3: And I tried doing the criminal thing, taking off running.
27:07
Speaker 3: I got hung up on a little fence and next
27:09
Speaker 3: thing you know, I had bought six guys on the
27:11
Speaker 3: back of me with guns in my head, carrying me
27:14
Speaker 3: like a two x four into the back of the sub.
27:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So how how old are you at that point?
27:23
Speaker 3: I was see it was I believe I was twenty
27:27
Speaker 3: twenty five or twenty six.
27:28
Speaker 2: Okay, So when you when then when they arrest you
27:33
Speaker 2: at that point, then what what does that look like
27:37
Speaker 2: for you? What are you what are you facing in terms?
27:40
Speaker 2: Because you've got quite a record now, right, so what
27:43
Speaker 2: does that look like now?
27:45
Speaker 1: With this time being arrested.
27:46
Speaker 3: So it was Detective Mike Bollman, he told me. And
27:49
Speaker 3: he's the one that arrested me previously on my previous charges,
27:51
Speaker 3: you know, so we already had a history together. And
27:54
Speaker 3: he told me, he said, Tim, he said, Washington says,
27:57
Speaker 3: they don't want you to see the street of the
27:58
Speaker 3: day of light again. They want you off the streets
28:00
Speaker 3: for good. You know, You've had your opportunities, you've had
28:03
Speaker 3: your blessings, you know, and you know it's it's done,
28:07
Speaker 3: you know. So he said, you're looking at a minimum
28:09
Speaker 3: of twenty years.
28:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, So okay, and thankes.
28:16
Speaker 2: So what how what does that look like moving forward
28:20
Speaker 2: in terms of court trials? What tell me a little
28:24
Speaker 2: bit more about that.
28:25
Speaker 3: So I went to the the old Burley County. The
28:28
Speaker 3: new one wasn't being I think it was just being
28:29
Speaker 3: built at the time. But I went to the old
28:31
Speaker 3: Burley County and I was defeated. You know. That was
28:36
Speaker 3: the thing that opened my eyes was hearing him say
28:38
Speaker 3: that even the government doesn't want me on the street
28:41
Speaker 3: and that I'm looking at twenty years minimum. You know,
28:44
Speaker 3: like I just felt so little, you know, so small,
28:47
Speaker 3: you know, like my life was over and so I'm
28:50
Speaker 3: sitting in jail and I was in Burley County about
28:53
Speaker 3: two months and something in my head said, put in
28:57
Speaker 3: an application for Team Challenge. I didn't even know what
29:00
Speaker 3: Team Challenge was. I didn't know even know that we
29:02
Speaker 3: had one here, but I and now that I know it,
29:05
Speaker 3: I know it was God leading me, right. But at
29:08
Speaker 3: the time I put in the application and in the
29:11
Speaker 3: jail was like, Tim, you won't qualify. You're not your federal.
29:14
Speaker 3: You know, they didn't accept federal at the time. So
29:16
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, that's not possible. Look there's a box
29:18
Speaker 3: right here that that says it right. And they said, Tim,
29:20
Speaker 3: they don't accept it, so we're not going to send
29:22
Speaker 3: it in. I said, well, you know what, I'm going
29:24
Speaker 3: to send it in myself. So I sent it in myself.
29:26
Speaker 3: And during that time of waiting, I was like, you know,
29:29
Speaker 3: I need to do something right. I have to do
29:31
Speaker 3: something that's going to change my life, that's going to
29:34
Speaker 3: get me on track, that's going to help me through
29:35
Speaker 3: out the situation. So I asked for a follow They
29:38
Speaker 3: gave me it. Our furlough to go to HARP. Youw
29:40
Speaker 3: to get an evaluation, and at the time they didn't
29:44
Speaker 3: do walk into evaluations, so you had to be scheduled
29:48
Speaker 3: at the time. And so me still in my criminal thinking,
29:54
Speaker 3: I had that furlough, and I decided to go down
29:56
Speaker 3: to the house I got arrested at and show everybody
29:59
Speaker 3: my paperwork and in those things, right, and let everybody know, oh,
30:03
Speaker 3: who told I'm here this or that? Right? So I
30:05
Speaker 3: was so still consumed by this lifestyle, you know. But
30:11
Speaker 3: I ended up going back to Burley County and they
30:13
Speaker 3: up to Washburn. I was up in Washburn for a
30:15
Speaker 3: month on federal holding, and I was contacting Team Challenge daily.
30:18
Speaker 2: It was.
30:19
Speaker 3: Her name was Casey Bell. She did the administrative They
30:22
Speaker 3: didn't take stuff for admission, so she said, we're just
30:24
Speaker 3: waiting to hear back. We're just waiting to hear back.
30:26
Speaker 3: And so I got the call saying I was granted
30:33
Speaker 3: herview because they weren't going to release me on pre
30:35
Speaker 3: trial services. They were going to keep me in jail
30:37
Speaker 3: until I was sentenced, and that's usually about eighteen month
30:39
Speaker 3: to two year process in the federal system. And so
30:42
Speaker 3: they said, oh, you can go to Harview. So I
30:45
Speaker 3: go to Harview or on Broadway, and you know, I
30:49
Speaker 3: started diving in. You know, I had a great counselor
30:52
Speaker 3: you know, she was able to open me up and
30:55
Speaker 3: I was able to process a lot of things that
30:56
Speaker 3: I was never able to process with right. And one
30:59
Speaker 3: of my biggest things is, you know, never hearing your
31:01
Speaker 3: parents say I love you as a kid or your
31:04
Speaker 3: whole life, you know. And then my dad passed away
31:06
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty from the dementia and Alzheimer's, and you know,
31:10
Speaker 3: I never was able to hear him say that, and
31:12
Speaker 3: you know I kind of carried that for a while,
31:14
Speaker 3: you know, but in HARBYO, I was able to focus
31:16
Speaker 3: on myself. You know, I started focusing more on myself,
31:20
Speaker 3: you know, and still kind of had that in the
31:22
Speaker 3: back of my mind about my legal issues and stuff,
31:25
Speaker 3: you know, but I kind of put it to the side.
31:29
Speaker 3: And you know, I was told of ninety meetings and
31:32
Speaker 3: ninety days, so I was going crazy. I was going
31:35
Speaker 3: to three meetings a day. I was doing it right,
31:37
Speaker 3: you know, I was almost there, and you know, I
31:39
Speaker 3: was really trying to take advantage of the situation and
31:41
Speaker 3: do what I can do and learn everything I can
31:43
Speaker 3: and try to better my life. So I graduated Harview,
31:47
Speaker 3: I believe. It was July of twenty sixteen, and I
31:51
Speaker 3: knew that wasn't enough for me, right, I knew I
31:55
Speaker 3: needed more, and for me it was it was a
31:58
Speaker 3: faith issue the end. You know, I didn't have self value,
32:02
Speaker 3: I didn't have self worth. You know, I didn't think
32:05
Speaker 3: I could have a relationship with the Lord.
32:06
Speaker 2: You know.
32:06
Speaker 3: I thought, you know, I grew up in this family,
32:09
Speaker 3: and this is what it is.
32:10
Speaker 2: You know.
32:10
Speaker 3: You know, you'd see in elementary school at high school,
32:13
Speaker 3: these kids that have the sort of say a white
32:15
Speaker 3: picket fends family, you know, and they're going to Sunday
32:17
Speaker 3: school and they're doing all the things you know, together,
32:19
Speaker 3: look happy and stuff. And I figured, you know what,
32:22
Speaker 3: that's not for me because of the family I was
32:23
Speaker 3: raised in. You know, that's for them. You know. I'll
32:26
Speaker 3: just kind of take the cards that I've been dealt
32:27
Speaker 3: with and do my own life.
32:29
Speaker 2: Right.
32:30
Speaker 3: So a half hour after graduating Harbew, I went to
32:34
Speaker 3: Team Challenge and I did. I did Chang Challenge for
32:38
Speaker 3: thirteen months, and I love the program, you know. I
32:42
Speaker 3: my first three months, I was still kind of battling,
32:44
Speaker 3: you know, all my legal issues and trying to go
32:50
Speaker 3: on the science aspect of things you know and try
32:52
Speaker 3: to you know, well science does this and this is
32:54
Speaker 3: the reason why it is and still not really stepping
32:56
Speaker 3: into faith, right, But there was a seriously, there was
32:59
Speaker 3: an event that happened over at teen Challenge and there
33:03
Speaker 3: was a pastor that came in. They came in and
33:06
Speaker 3: they prayed over me, and they then the whole group
33:08
Speaker 3: put their hands on me, and the craziest thing happened.
33:12
Speaker 3: Like I remember not being able to talk. I remember
33:16
Speaker 3: like anxious and shaky and felt like I was going
33:20
Speaker 3: to throw up, and my legs were weak and everything.
33:23
Speaker 3: And they all put as soon as they put their
33:25
Speaker 3: hands on me, a red line crossed from my heart
33:27
Speaker 3: to my chi to my chin, from my mouth to
33:30
Speaker 3: my heart, and it went red. It was a visible
33:33
Speaker 3: red line from here to here. And afterwards I asked
33:38
Speaker 3: the pastor, I said, what happened, you know, like, what
33:41
Speaker 3: was that? And he said, Timmy said, that was all
33:42
Speaker 3: the impurities coming from your heart. He said, you were
33:45
Speaker 3: letting it go nice. Yeah, so it was. It was
33:50
Speaker 3: pretty crazy life changing at that time. Then I started
33:54
Speaker 3: digging in. Then I started reading the word, you know,
33:59
Speaker 3: getting in the word we would do awaken events. Every
34:02
Speaker 3: Sunday we would travel to Stay we do awakening events
34:04
Speaker 3: and I was one of the ones. I would typically
34:06
Speaker 3: share testimony, you know. Doing these events, I got involved
34:09
Speaker 3: with the program called Know the Truth, which where we
34:11
Speaker 3: would go speak to criminal justice departments, high schools, middle schools,
34:14
Speaker 3: health classes, juvenile detention centers. Me and Casey Bell we
34:17
Speaker 3: kind of took this program. We started this program and
34:20
Speaker 3: started doing this public speaking thing, right, speaking to these kids,
34:22
Speaker 3: you know, such an impressionable age, right, And it was
34:27
Speaker 3: it wasn't a scared straight program. It was a program
34:29
Speaker 3: of you know, the power of personal experience.
34:32
Speaker 2: Right.
34:33
Speaker 3: So I did this and as a result of this,
34:35
Speaker 3: I still have to go do this because at the
34:36
Speaker 3: time I still wasn't sure what was going on with
34:38
Speaker 3: my legal stuff, right, So I did see Challenge. I graduated,
34:44
Speaker 3: I want to say it was September either August of
34:47
Speaker 3: September of twenty seventeen. I started working at Team Challenge
34:51
Speaker 3: in the reception area, and I started working at Harview
34:54
Speaker 3: as a residence. Back then it was a chemical dependency technician.
34:56
Speaker 3: Now it's a residential tech. And I started going to
34:59
Speaker 3: college at BS for a diction and studies November of
35:02
Speaker 3: twenty seventeen came around and that was my sentencing month. Right,
35:07
Speaker 3: we still didn't know what was going to happen. I
35:10
Speaker 3: was able to get to a ten year minimum mandatory,
35:13
Speaker 3: and uh so the judge is basically like, you know,
35:19
Speaker 3: you have a ten year minimum mandatory. You can't come
35:21
Speaker 3: underneath that. My hands are tied. There's nothing I can
35:23
Speaker 3: do about it. We know the ways that you can
35:26
Speaker 3: come under that, but I wasn't willing to go down
35:29
Speaker 3: that road, right, So what he ended up saying was, okay,
35:34
Speaker 3: so the prosecutor or. The prosecutor wanted one hundred and
35:37
Speaker 3: seventy four months. I had all of Team Challenge in there.
35:42
Speaker 3: I had I had Harview in there, I had the
35:44
Speaker 3: Core room was packed from wall the wall with support
35:47
Speaker 3: and uh you know, we spoke. I had a couple
35:52
Speaker 3: of people speak for me, you know, on on my
35:54
Speaker 3: behalf and stuff like that. And basically he came down
35:58
Speaker 3: sentences like Timmy said, I is I have to give
36:01
Speaker 3: you a minimum of ten years, he said. But what
36:03
Speaker 3: I can do, he said, is I can take the
36:05
Speaker 3: two years that you've been in treatment and you've been
36:06
Speaker 3: doing right into consideration. He said, I can give you
36:09
Speaker 3: say it as time served because it wasn't federally contracted
36:13
Speaker 3: with ten teen challengesn't and stuff like that. So he's like,
36:16
Speaker 3: I'm going to take it into consideration. He's like, so
36:18
Speaker 3: I'm going to give you a ninety six month sentence.
36:20
Speaker 3: He's like, I have to send you. You have to
36:22
Speaker 3: go do some time. And I was still bitter. I'm like, man,
36:26
Speaker 3: I'm doing all these things right. I got my life
36:27
Speaker 3: on track. I got the best I've ever done my
36:29
Speaker 3: whole life, and I got to just throw it all
36:31
Speaker 3: the way to go be warehoused for ninety six months.
36:34
Speaker 3: You know, still wasn't really taking responsibility for my actions, right.
36:40
Speaker 3: But I heard a statement, you know, and it said,
36:44
Speaker 3: you know, we earned the things we have, right. We
36:45
Speaker 3: earn our rewards, we earn our repercussions, and we don't
36:49
Speaker 3: just get indicted. Right. I didn't just get a federal indictment.
36:53
Speaker 3: I earned a federal indictment, right. So I earned the indictment.
36:56
Speaker 3: I earned everything I had by my behaviors right for
37:00
Speaker 3: past and the things that I was caught with. Right,
37:02
Speaker 3: And I started looking at it in a different light,
37:04
Speaker 3: and the executive director of Team Challenges. Name was Phil Wolverton,
37:07
Speaker 3: Great Mentors Support, Spiritual Father almost you know. He They
37:13
Speaker 3: pulled me aside and they said, Tim, there's a reason
37:15
Speaker 3: you're going. There's a reason you're going for ninety six months,
37:18
Speaker 3: whether it be to meet somebody, to learn, to to grow,
37:21
Speaker 3: to share the power of testimony, to do something, they said,
37:26
Speaker 3: and you have to believe that, right, So I started
37:29
Speaker 3: believing that. You know, it was almost like us kind
37:31
Speaker 3: of you know, salt on a wound. You know, it
37:33
Speaker 3: still felt like, well, yeah, you know, we can. You know,
37:35
Speaker 3: I just felt like it was a way to try
37:37
Speaker 3: to make me feel better at the time. But I
37:38
Speaker 3: started really understanding and believing that, you know, there's a
37:41
Speaker 3: reason I'm going. So I continue to work at both
37:45
Speaker 3: places and continue to do the public speaking thing up
37:49
Speaker 3: until January fifth of twenty eighteen. They gave me about
37:51
Speaker 3: three months to get my affairs in order and January fifth.
37:54
Speaker 3: That January fifth, at three one two three a team challenge.
38:02
Speaker 3: We had a prayer circle and this was my basically
38:05
Speaker 3: like my sending away, right. The executive director, Phil was
38:09
Speaker 3: He was the one that took me to Sansone, Minnesota,
38:12
Speaker 3: and we walked into the prison, but at one twenty
38:15
Speaker 3: three they sat an alarm. So they prayed for me
38:16
Speaker 3: every day at one twenty three for years while I
38:20
Speaker 3: was gone, and it was great to hear. You know.
38:22
Speaker 3: It's very uplifting and everything you know, and prison is too.
38:26
Speaker 3: You got two passed. You can either be productive or
38:29
Speaker 3: you can be destructive. Right, It's an environment that wants
38:33
Speaker 3: to keep you there. Right. There's a lot of programming
38:35
Speaker 3: opportunities and stuff like that. So I started. I joined Toastmasters,
38:41
Speaker 3: you know, I started doing every class I could take.
38:45
Speaker 3: I think I completed over thirty two ACE courses classes
38:48
Speaker 3: and stuff like that. And I got into VT Culinary,
38:51
Speaker 3: Culinary Arts and Automotive Tech at the same time. And
38:54
Speaker 3: when I was in Team Challenge, there was a lady
38:56
Speaker 3: that would come on the last Thursday of every month
38:58
Speaker 3: and she would say, you know, when I something, you
39:01
Speaker 3: only see the bad thing you don't like. Like, if
39:03
Speaker 3: I hate that person, you only see the thing you
39:04
Speaker 3: don't like about the person, right, Anything good about the
39:07
Speaker 3: person is overshadowed by the bad. Right. Yeah, So she said,
39:10
Speaker 3: why don't we change our perspective and say, I'm gonna
39:12
Speaker 3: learn to like this person right now? It opens up
39:15
Speaker 3: the door for you to be able to see the
39:16
Speaker 3: positive qualities and whatever it is.
39:18
Speaker 2: Right.
39:19
Speaker 3: So I did that with culinary I knew a little
39:21
Speaker 3: bit about cars, so I was like, you know what,
39:23
Speaker 3: I hate cooking, you know, I hate it. You know,
39:26
Speaker 3: I would make something and I'd be the one I
39:27
Speaker 3: don't even want nothing to do with there. Right, So
39:31
Speaker 3: I said, you do you know what, I'm going to
39:33
Speaker 3: learn to like it? Right, So I did culinary Arts.
39:37
Speaker 3: I graduated the class while I was in prison too
39:39
Speaker 3: Century College, and I was actually hired as the head
39:42
Speaker 3: tutor in culinary Arts for another year afterwards.
39:44
Speaker 1: Oh cool.
39:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, So from something that I hated to something now
39:48
Speaker 3: that I actually love, you know, and I don't do
39:50
Speaker 3: enough of it now that I'm home, you know. But
39:53
Speaker 3: you know, I learned to, you know, save money with food.
39:56
Speaker 3: I learned to make fresh products, you know. I learned
39:58
Speaker 3: that baking is not only in art, but it's like chemistry.
40:01
Speaker 2: You know.
40:01
Speaker 3: I'm taking one chemical mixing with another to create a
40:03
Speaker 3: finished product, right, and then you get to watch somebody
40:05
Speaker 3: enjoy that product, you know. So it was very fulfilling
40:07
Speaker 3: to be able to graduate that, learn that and take
40:10
Speaker 3: these skills home with me. You know, I joined Toastmasters,
40:14
Speaker 3: We did some relay speeches. I was able to perfect
40:18
Speaker 3: my speaking style and my skills. While I was in prison.
40:20
Speaker 3: I started teaching speeching, speech craft classes on proper like
40:25
Speaker 3: Mike etiquette and what do you do if you're at
40:27
Speaker 3: a podium, you know, stuff like that, you know, what
40:29
Speaker 3: do you do with your hands?
40:30
Speaker 2: You know?
40:30
Speaker 3: And the fidgeting stuff you know, and how to talk
40:33
Speaker 3: and get a clear message across right effectively. So I
40:36
Speaker 3: started speaking on all these things and teaching these things,
40:39
Speaker 3: and you know, I really uh when I got home
40:45
Speaker 3: March twenty first of last year, I got to center.
40:49
Speaker 3: But going through that whole journey, you know, I look
40:52
Speaker 3: back and I can honestly say that I spent my
40:54
Speaker 3: time very wisely. You know, I needed that, you know,
40:57
Speaker 3: that was my blessing. This indictment was my blessing in disguise.
41:00
Speaker 3: I would not be where I'm at today. Without it,
41:03
Speaker 3: I don't know where I would be. I probably wouldn't
41:05
Speaker 3: be sitting here today. You know, going to prison was
41:09
Speaker 3: a big maturing process. You know, I needed that. I
41:12
Speaker 3: needed to be able to keep preparing for what it
41:14
Speaker 3: is that I feel like I'm called to do, and
41:16
Speaker 3: that is working in the addiction field, right, you know,
41:19
Speaker 3: so it was. I wouldn't say that if I would
41:23
Speaker 3: have had to choose to go to do all that,
41:25
Speaker 3: you know, probably not, so I always say it would
41:27
Speaker 3: have been another route, you know. But you know, looking
41:30
Speaker 3: back on it, you know, it was a very necessary
41:32
Speaker 3: thing for me to have to go do, right, So
41:35
Speaker 3: I call it my blessing in disguise.
41:37
Speaker 2: Right well, and having that opportunity to teach and work
41:43
Speaker 2: with people from a different perspective, right, not necessarily because
41:48
Speaker 2: you brought that too with your experience and helping with
41:51
Speaker 2: some of the others. But the culinary thing is a
41:53
Speaker 2: different angle on it, right, different different working with people
41:57
Speaker 2: is cooking is a whole different deal. But it's therapeutic
42:00
Speaker 2: for some people, not for me because usually the smoke
42:04
Speaker 2: alarm goes out, but you know whatever, you know, But
42:07
Speaker 2: I mean, it's like it it's a different way of
42:10
Speaker 2: working with people and being able to share that.
42:12
Speaker 1: So that's cool. Now I feel like, maybe you know
42:16
Speaker 1: we should I should teach. I mean, you could teach
42:18
Speaker 1: me something.
42:20
Speaker 3: Make a really good homemade caramel sauce.
42:23
Speaker 2: So tell me where you're at now because you had
42:26
Speaker 2: mentioned earlier about you know what you are, We're going
42:30
Speaker 2: to school and doing some other things. But where are
42:32
Speaker 2: we at today? What's happening today other than today is
42:35
Speaker 2: the big day the nine years That is super cool.
42:38
Speaker 2: I did not know this when when we schedule this,
42:40
Speaker 2: So that's how ironic that is. But what's happening and
42:45
Speaker 2: what what does the future look.
42:46
Speaker 3: Like for you? So for me, I believe that we
42:48
Speaker 3: go through everything in life with a purpose. Right. If
42:50
Speaker 3: we go through addiction and and our life struggles, whether
42:53
Speaker 3: it be divorced or abuse or traumas, whatever it is,
42:56
Speaker 3: if we go through these things and we just sweep
42:58
Speaker 3: it under the rug and you know, kind of have
42:59
Speaker 3: the play me attitude, you know, we go through everything
43:02
Speaker 3: for nothing. Then so I kind of look at the
43:05
Speaker 3: things like we go through everything in life for a purpose, right,
43:07
Speaker 3: So I believe I had to go through addiction, I
43:09
Speaker 3: had to go to prison, I had to do these
43:11
Speaker 3: things in order to prepare prepare me for what it
43:14
Speaker 3: is that I feel like I'm called to do, and
43:16
Speaker 3: that is ultimate with the ultimate goal of being at LAC. Right,
43:19
Speaker 3: So like working out harview, you know, I get to
43:23
Speaker 3: work in this in the front line, so to say,
43:26
Speaker 3: you know, with people struggling with addiction, I get to
43:28
Speaker 3: share my story. You know, there's always someone that needs
43:30
Speaker 3: to hear what you have to say and what you
43:32
Speaker 3: went through and how you overcame it, right. So what
43:36
Speaker 3: I've been doing is, you know, I work at Harview
43:39
Speaker 3: still and I actually just submitted my application for you Mary,
43:43
Speaker 3: for the addiction counseling program Nice. I got a couple
43:46
Speaker 3: of programs are going to help me fund that and
43:47
Speaker 3: stuff like that that are good local resources here in Bismarck.
43:52
Speaker 3: So I'm waiting to hear back on my application and
43:55
Speaker 3: I continue to you know, be on the front line,
43:59
Speaker 3: you know, share stories, try to motivate, inspire and courage
44:02
Speaker 3: and tell people that you know, a better life is possible.
44:05
Speaker 3: We have to put the work in and it's not
44:07
Speaker 3: going to come to us. That we have to make
44:10
Speaker 3: it happen, right. Nothing changes if you don't make it change, right.
44:13
Speaker 3: So a lot of people are so stuck in that cycle,
44:17
Speaker 3: you know. And for me, like I said, it was
44:20
Speaker 3: a faith issue. I didn't value myself. I didn't know
44:23
Speaker 3: who I was until I found out whose I was.
44:26
Speaker 3: And when I found out whose I was. I was
44:28
Speaker 3: able to value my life, know that my life. I
44:30
Speaker 3: do have a purpose, I do have a meaning.
44:31
Speaker 2: You know.
44:32
Speaker 3: I am loved no matter what nobody tells me. You
44:34
Speaker 3: know that I you know, all these things just started
44:38
Speaker 3: filling me, you know, and motivated me to help others
44:42
Speaker 3: that are stuck.
44:43
Speaker 2: You know.
44:44
Speaker 3: That's my end goal is to be in LAC.
44:45
Speaker 1: Yeah.
44:46
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, hey, you're on the right track and
44:48
Speaker 2: you work at the right place to get.
44:52
Speaker 1: For I guess for our followers that aren't familiar, those
44:54
Speaker 1: that are becoming LAC.
44:56
Speaker 2: There's a lot of hands on hours that you have
44:57
Speaker 2: to complete, and there are programs that are available to
45:02
Speaker 2: help with that. But you know, having also your background
45:07
Speaker 2: and your history is going to bring a tremendous amount
45:10
Speaker 2: of wealth when you're working with patients in the future, because,
45:15
Speaker 2: let's be honest, you have the street credit, right and
45:17
Speaker 2: so you know, I think that sometimes that that brings
45:21
Speaker 2: so much value to people when you can say, yeah,
45:24
Speaker 2: I've been there, you know, and I can relate and
45:27
Speaker 2: understand what you're going through, and so I yeah, boy,
45:31
Speaker 2: you're you've taken something that horrible, honestly, yes, horrible and
45:39
Speaker 2: completely flipped it, and I that that's huge because a
45:43
Speaker 2: lot of people aren't first of all, able to get
45:46
Speaker 2: sober and be able to look past being arrested and
45:51
Speaker 2: being i mean facing all those legal things. That's super
45:54
Speaker 2: scary because you don't know what's going to happen. But
45:56
Speaker 2: taking that and now, like you said, it's up to you,
46:01
Speaker 2: right to take what you have and move forward, I
46:03
Speaker 2: mean not that's tremendous. I mean, Hartview is really lucky
46:06
Speaker 2: to have you, and you're a huge, huge resource and
46:09
Speaker 2: huge asset to us. But more importantly, it's huge for
46:12
Speaker 2: our patients to be able to have you there. And
46:15
Speaker 2: I'm yeah, I'm super glad that you're just part of
46:18
Speaker 2: the team. And I don't you know, able to like
46:21
Speaker 2: you said, look forward and keep that mindset. That's not
46:25
Speaker 2: always the easiest thing to do.
46:27
Speaker 3: Yeah and all, and and Harview is Harview is where
46:30
Speaker 3: my journey started. You know, I will always be grateful
46:33
Speaker 3: to harp you because that's the place that gave me
46:36
Speaker 3: the foundation to build my life upon. That's where it
46:38
Speaker 3: all started, right, you know. And that's what I tell
46:42
Speaker 3: these people, you know, like and like with Team Challenge,
46:44
Speaker 3: you know, everybody's like, well, it's a year long, it's
46:46
Speaker 3: a year level. What is a year compared to eternity? Right,
46:49
Speaker 3: if the year doesn't work out for you, you can go
46:51
Speaker 3: back to the way that you wanted to live life
46:53
Speaker 3: in you with. But give it a shot, right, give
46:55
Speaker 3: it a try, because that year will change your life.
46:57
Speaker 3: You'll be able to experience things there that you will
46:59
Speaker 3: never EXPERI into anywhere else in life. And I'm very
47:02
Speaker 3: grateful for Harview for starting my journey and for taking
47:05
Speaker 3: me back. When I got home, you know, when I
47:08
Speaker 3: you know, when I before I was getting home, I
47:11
Speaker 3: was contacting you know, my supervisor, you know, and and
47:16
Speaker 3: you know, he's more of like a mental role model
47:20
Speaker 3: for me, you know, and I get to be lucky
47:22
Speaker 3: to have him as a boss as well. You know,
47:24
Speaker 3: he's like a he's like a best friend. But I
47:28
Speaker 3: was like, are you ready for me back? I'm coming home.
47:31
Speaker 3: Are you ready? I'm calling every week. I'm like, all right,
47:33
Speaker 3: let's let's get this started. I'm ready to come back
47:34
Speaker 3: to work, you know. So my first week out, I
47:37
Speaker 3: was hired back at Harbew you know, and I'm very
47:41
Speaker 3: grateful that day overlooked, you know, not overlooked, but saw
47:47
Speaker 3: me as a person and not my criminal record, you know,
47:50
Speaker 3: and allowed me to come back as such a short
47:54
Speaker 3: time home. You know. Like I said, it was April first,
47:57
Speaker 3: the last year I got home March twenty first. By
47:59
Speaker 3: April first, I was working full time again, you know.
48:02
Speaker 3: So I'm very grateful for haring, I'm very grateful for
48:04
Speaker 3: teen challenge, and I'm very grateful for all the people
48:06
Speaker 3: that the Lord has put in my path that have
48:08
Speaker 3: helped me get to where I'm at today.
48:10
Speaker 2: Well, hats off to you, congratulations, Thank you. Thanks for
48:14
Speaker 2: spending your sober birthday with me. Hey, that's pretty cool.
48:17
Speaker 3: Wouldn't be anywhere else, right, Well.
48:19
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. I'm proud of you. High five.
48:28
Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us on this episode of Recovery Chronicles.
48:31
Speaker 1: Find out more
48:32
Speaker 2: About heartviewat Purview, dot Ard, and keep moving forward, remembering
48:36
Speaker 2: the story is yours and you are the author.