Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP55] You feel frustrated for no reason.. here's what that actually means

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[EP55] You feel frustrated for no reason.. here's what that actually means · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  The times I've felt anger, you know, I've noticed other people feeling, let's say, anger.
• 0:06
  And obviously it's not the only thing you're talking about there in your question.
• 0:10
  But let's talk about anger.
• 0:13
  And what came to me was, like this, the word was unjust.
• 0:19
  You know, like this feeling of like injustice or like, you know, unjust.
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  Like something, you know, it's like it's not right, you know.
• 0:26
  and I feel trapped and I don't have a choice.
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  Like, you know, I feel kind of like, you know,
• 0:32
  it's like when someone's cornered, you know,
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  into like the corner of the wall, basically,
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  and they can't move, you know, they're stuck there
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  and they can't go anywhere, go anyway.
• 0:45
  And, you know, so it's this feeling of like unjust,
• 0:49
  like this is not just, this is not right.
• 0:51
  And if I feel like there's an injustice, you know,
• 0:54
  and I'm stuck and I'm trapped or being trapped by someone or the situation, right?
• 1:01
  Like our people, then, you know, there's this feeling of like wanting to break free out of that
• 1:07
  and not be trapped, you know, to break out of that.
• 1:14
  And anger is much more like, you know, it feels like several layers above.
• 1:21
  If we go back up closer towards the surface.
• 1:24
  And anger is this kind of, as you might have heard me talk about, is this like firepower.
• 1:33
  You know, it's like nuclear almost.
• 1:36
  Well, rage is more like nuclear, but like, you know, it's pretty nuclear.
• 1:39
  And, you know, it can cause an explosion, right?
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  Or an implosion or both.
• 1:46
  And that's the power of anger.
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  just like there are no bad emotions.
• 1:54
  You know, all emotions are just emotions.
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  It's energy.
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  And, you know, as I'm sure you've heard, you know, me and other people say,
• 2:03
  emotion, energy that wants to be in motion.
• 2:06
  And the problem is that when we don't let it be in motion,
• 2:09
  which, you know, I'll come back to that in a second.
• 2:12
  So anger is this kind of big, powerful, explosive or implosive,
• 2:17
  you know, or both type energy.
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  and it's wanting to move, like, you know, it's wanting to, you could say, release.
• 2:27
  So if underneath there, one of the, you know, things that's underneath is like,
• 2:33
  there's this injustice or unjust or not right, right?
• 2:36
  Like, and I'm trapped, I'm stuck, and I want to break out of this.
• 2:41
  If I don't feel very powerful, and obviously, we're not doing this probably logically or consciously.
• 2:45
  if I don't feel very powerful, then, you know, an energy that can be quite powerful to tap into
• 2:51
  can be anger. So some people, you know, live in anger most of the time. Like I definitely had that
• 3:00
  for, you know, some years in my life. And I don't know, sometimes people find it either easy or hard
• 3:05
  to believe. But I definitely had that, you know, a period in my life when I found myself living in
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  a lot of most a lot of my time like i was you know feeling angry and it's a feel it's like a
• 3:17
  rocket feel that can create movement um movement as in like from one point to another point you
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  know from maybe from like stuck to free or from like stuck to like in action to you know action
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  like producing something making something happen and you know when i've looked at people in my life
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  who are more angry than me.
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  Like I grew up around, you know, like people who are angry as well.
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  And they were doing that because that was their place to go,
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  like their place of power, you know, and it's not what you're talking about.
• 3:55
  I'm just talking about a whole range of things around this.
• 3:58
  So for some people, that's their place of power.
• 4:00
  Like that's where they go to because otherwise it feels powerless.
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  It's like I can't make something happen, you know,
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  because everything is difficult around here.
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  break free out of this i want to make something happen right so that energy when it comes out
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  it's like whoa everyone most of the time would stop and listen and follow along or make something
• 4:23
  happen um so that's like the external and then on the internal it's like okay there's this feeling
• 4:29
  of unjust or you know injustice but also some of the things that you mentioned which is a little
• 4:35
  bit under the surface could be like you could say stress and then you talk about suppressed emotions
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  It's like, yeah, they're still kind of closer towards the surface, I would say.
• 4:45
  It's still deeper than the surface, but, you know, it's still not, like I would say, the deepest layers.
• 4:50
  Unmet needs, sure, like that, you know, goes deeper, I would say.
• 4:57
  And if our needs are unmet, you know, again, it's this feeling of I feel trapped.
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  You know, I feel stuck.
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  This is not right.
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  You know, I deserve these needs to be met.
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  and they're not being met.
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  Maybe there's a...
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  That's the agreement.
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  Like, your job is to provide these needs
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  to be met in these ways.
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  And it wasn't.
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  So therefore, there is this feeling of frustration,
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  which then builds up into, a lot of times, anger,
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  because it wants to go from that sickness in action
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  Creating some kind of movement, some kind of action to like, okay, being unstuck, you know, like to being free from it.
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  Resistance to what is, yeah, that's still more like on the surface, I would say.
• 5:52
  You know, is it resistance to what is, is it stress?
• 5:54
  It's like, yeah, that's still all kind of like more surface level or just underneath the surface, I would say, you know, one or two, a few levels.
• 6:02
  Which is still not like surface as in just ignoring it.
• 6:07
  Sure, you know, sometimes it is stress.
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  at stress like stress is what like I expect some things to be a certain way it's not so there is a
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  kind of internal pressure build up and I'm experiencing that pressure as stress you know
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  like an urgency and importance of like things needing to be different you know so and it's not
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  so then I'm feeling this pressure I'm actually taking it taking it on taking it in and carrying
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  that so therefore i'm you know i'm feeling the stress and my body takes that on and you know
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  therefore there's only so much stress that we can take before things starts to fall apart and
• 6:49
  collapse you know and break down and we hit the wall so to speak so let me read the second part
• 6:55
  i'm curious about the deeper root of this how can we discern whether anger is arising from
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  unprocessed stress, suppressed emotions, unmet needs, resistance to what is, something deeper
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  that is moving through the system to be seen or released. The thing is, I don't know,
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  is the honest answer, without kind of specifically going into each person's individual,
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  let's say, situation. It could be any and all of those or a combination of those.
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  and also I would say from my opinion like it kind of doesn't matter what matters is that there is an
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  awareness of like okay there's a change here you know I don't normally live in these emotions and
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  then suddenly I find myself you know like living in these kinds of emotions and what's going on
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  you know so it's I want to say normal whatever normal is or natural or normal for the mind to go
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  seems like it's different you know and I want to first understand it I want to I want to analyze
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  it I want to understand it because when the mind you know feels like it can have some level of
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  understanding of it then it can feel some level of control of it so when you feel some level of
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  control it feels like okay I have some control of this it's not completely out of control in other
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  words it's not dangerous in other words it's like not a question of survival so you know as long as
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  it feels like, okay, I can kind of understand this. I'm under control. You know, it's under
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  control or I'm in control, right? Like even the words under control, I'm in control, it's in
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  control. Just give this feeling of like, okay, relief. Everything's under control, you know, or
• 8:45
  I've got this under control, right? Like this is feeling like, okay, I can relax now.
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  so you know this stress can arise from a lack of that so in a way it kind of doesn't really matter
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  like the understanding of the layers kind of doesn't matter but it's like okay what do i do
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  with this where do i go with this right which is kind of what you're asking as well when these
• 9:08
  feelings arise what is the most conscious way to meet them without suppressing them acting them out
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  or identifying with them.
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  For me, I would say this,
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  like it's, you know, in like several folds,
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  you know, the answer.
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  And it's, you know, you've heard me kind of talk about this,
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  I guess, framework many, many times.
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  On one level,
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  when it's something that's going on internally,
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  so emotionally or in the mind,
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  then I like to switch.
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  I call it switching modality.
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  So like switch from emotion
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  or switch from mind to body, you know.
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  body is that it's tangible so whether you go for a walk or you go for a run or sometimes like you
• 9:53
  know kick the punching bag or punch it right like get that energy moving um you know or maybe a yoga
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  practice so there's deep breathing it's like you're moving the energy you're moving the emotion
• 10:08
  the energy that wants to be in motion, you're moving through.
• 10:12
  And I'm not talking about just moving it without an awareness of it.
• 10:16
  The cool thing about something like yoga is that if you do it with awareness,
• 10:20
  then you're not going to normally miss out on the analysis that's needed.
• 10:27
  You'll have some kind of insight into, and the insight I think comes from
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  when you're practicing and you're breathing and you're in your body
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  you get to zoom out of the situation, you know, or you kind of zoom out of the emotion.
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  Like, okay, I'm feeling anger.
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  I felt it, you know, a moment ago, and suddenly I'm feeling a little bit different.
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  So there's some space, you know, it's like the zoom out of the emotion.
• 10:54
  And I think that's one of the cool things about movement.
• 10:57
  The other, as obviously you've heard me talk about, is meditation.
• 11:01
  And, you know, if I'm feeling like big emotions moving through,
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  and I'm sitting in meditation, it's a little bit harder, I find, generally,
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  to move that emotion just by sitting there and bringing in a different, let's say, frequency or emotion.
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  It's not impossible, but for some people it's easier to just get up and move the body.
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  And then for others it might be easy or easier or easy enough to sit in meditation
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  into a different frequency, maybe into gratitude or expansiveness or, you know, something different
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  from anger. It gives that kind of zooming out effect and being able to see like, okay, that was
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  there and here I am and I'm able to observe it, right? Which is the essence of meditation, which
• 11:56
  is coming into the state of observer of the mind, you know, the seer of the mind. So therefore we
• 12:03
  get different perspective on the thing and the emotion so conscious way there's many other ways
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  you know i guess you can also do it from a energetically like healing you know healing
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  point of view um and there's many healing modalities and you know the one you guys have
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  seen me use it's like yep you know we do it in meditation in or you can just close your eyes
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  and see, hear, feel, you know, things shifting
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  and from one frequency to another.
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  And it sounds like replacing one with the other.
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  But actually sometimes a simpler version of that,
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  which is not easy,
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  is to actually just feel into the anger.
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  And sometimes that's the most useful thing to do.
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  You know, like go right into the center of it
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  and feel right into it.
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  Just like sensation in the body.
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  Go zoom in right into the center of it.
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  You know, as if I always visualize like,
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  if the emotion is like a certain color, you know, or like a cloud, I don't know, somewhere in the
• 13:03
  body, like in the belly or something like that. And then, you know, the awareness of the mind is
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  like a laser beam scanning right into the center, like a laser to the center of that cloud of
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  emotion and the color of emotion or, you know, whatever the texture is. And from the sensor,
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  you get a different perspective, you know, because you can actually start to like, you're not blowing
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  up the emotion more, but actually you're not ignoring it. Go right to the center,
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  and getting present with it, like, you know, sitting with it, so to speak.
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  So therefore, when, you know, as you've probably had me say,
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  the doorway to healing is feeling.
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  So when you start to really feel into that emotion,
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  it also affords us some space.
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  So ironically, by going into it, you feel space from it and within it.
• 13:55
  That's, you know, that's the other thing I would say.
• 13:59
  So what's the most conscious way to meet them without suppressing them, acting them out, or identify with them?
• 14:05
  Yeah, I think, you know, acting them out generally isn't so accepted in society.
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  And rightfully so, because sometimes it's big energy and it's very, you know, like no filter.
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  So it can come out as maybe violence, right?
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  And we don't want that.
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  not that you're violent but you know for some people that's how it comes out
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  so it's good to have a level of
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  calibration and filtration of that you know how it comes out how it's actually
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  you know what's the final product that's delivered so it doesn't mean that you just
• 14:43
  swallow it and you know and put a smile on the face but sometimes I think there's a time and
• 14:49
  place for people to know that you're frustrated or you are angry or that you know that makes you
• 14:56
  know well that doesn't make you angry but you know you feel anger it's different um no one can
• 15:04
  make us feel anything we make ourselves feel the thing but um that thing you know i'm feeling this
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  emotion and there's this thing happening um and that's different like it's you know it's a place
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  I'm feeling this emotion, right?
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  Which is another kind of conscious way of processing it.
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  Or identifying with them.
• 15:30
  Yeah, the identification always comes from ego, right?
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  Like it's me, my I thinking.
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  That's the only perspective, the filter of the ego.
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  So when it's like, okay, it means something about me,
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  or they are thinking this about me,
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  I'm not that enough, you know, whatever the dialogue is, it's always about the I, I, I, me, me, me, my, my, my, right?
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  Like it's a, it's only focused on itself, the ego.
• 16:01
  So the identifying with them, you know, when it's like fiery emotion, let's say anger, identifying with that.
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  It's like, okay, I feel lesser than, I don't feel powerful enough, so I'm going to act this out.
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  this energy that I feel, you know, whether it's in words or actions, you know, so you
• 16:25
  feel it as well.
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  And you feel this pain or this frustration, you know, or this injustice that I feel underneath
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  it all.
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  So therefore, you know, like we throw it out.
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  But actually, there's many ways to process, as I've said before, you know, the movement,
• 16:41
  the meditation, all that.
• 16:42
  But like a lot of times, just a simpler thing could be taking breaths, taking deeper breaths,
• 16:49
  you know, and that gives space as well.
• 16:52
  And then going, hmm, like, wow,
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  just got really frustrated at that thing or that person.
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  Like, what? That's not me.
• 17:01
  You know, it just gives perspective.
• 17:03
  And then from that place, you know, I can choose differently.
• 17:07
  I can choose to, like, let them know I'm feeling anger,
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  if that's what's needed, or a lot of times not needed.
• 17:19
  so when we can step out of it we can zoom out of it and choose you know when we have choice
• 17:27
  then there's freedom but when we don't have any choice we are trapped in that emotion
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  and the reaction from that emotion and that's well unconscious you know like a lack of consciousness
• 17:41
  and that's where the growth and the learning is.
• 17:45
  So I hope that helps.
• 17:46
  Let me read the question again.
• 17:47
  So lately I noticed a level of frustration and impatience.
• 17:49
  So frustration and impatience,
• 17:51
  you didn't even talk about anger,
• 17:51
  you talk about frustration and impatience.
• 17:53
  That doesn't feel like natural state.
• 17:56
  Irritating situations, it's not overwhelming.
• 18:00
  Yeah, so frustration, impatience,
• 18:03
  that feels different to me than anger
• 18:06
  and the difference for me would be
• 18:07
  some of the words that you use,
• 18:09
  which is like, yeah, maybe there's some things,
• 18:11
  unmet needs. And sometimes it could just be as simple as
• 18:16
  I'm exhausted and I need to rest.
• 18:20
  Like, you know, I need to sleep. And, you know,
• 18:23
  I've not been sleeping enough, you know, and I feel my crap.
• 18:27
  Like, I don't feel like myself. You know, I'm acting out in ways
• 18:31
  that's not normal. Like, this is not me. You know, so what
• 18:35
  are those needs that need to be met? Like, you know, if I find
• 18:41
  cranky and frustrated for no reason.
• 18:44
  It's like, huh?
• 18:45
  What's going on?
• 18:46
  That's not me.
• 18:47
  And what do I actually need?
• 18:49
  You know, sometimes it's like that.
• 18:52
  And maybe sleep is kind of one of the simplest things.
• 18:54
  But sometimes there's other things.
• 18:57
  Like, you know, I don't feel, I don't know,
• 19:02
  attention or love or listening or seeing or whatever.
• 19:06
  And a lot of times we put it out of us
• 19:09
  and we expect someone or some people to give us that,
• 19:12
  but actually we can't receive that
• 19:14
  unless we're able to give it to ourselves.
• 19:16
  So that's normally where the learning is.
• 19:17
  And it's not from I'm giving it to myself, I don't need you.
• 19:20
  It's that I'm giving it to myself, I can give it to myself,
• 19:23
  and I want you, and I want you to be around.
• 19:26
  So that's a different place to come from.
• 19:29
  So I hope that helps and answers the question.
• 19:39
  Thank you.