Latest / Creative Roots Podcast / Mamas Block: Real community. Real connection. - Brittnee | Ep. 57

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Mamas Block: Real community. Real connection. - Brittnee | Ep. 57 · Creative Roots Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: We need to have this conversation, you know, and make you feel welcome because all it takes is one time and you will never go to everyone that comes in is coming in equal.
0:11
SPEAKER_05: No one is better than the other.
0:12
SPEAKER_05: No one is this is not a popularity contest.
0:15
SPEAKER_05: I was driving home one day and I asked God, I said, why is it so hard for me to like make friends or connect with people?
0:22
SPEAKER_00: Mama does things that you don't even think about.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: So shout out to my mom, shout out to my wife, and shout out to Brittany and every other mother out there because Truth in the air, let it speak.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't get naps.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: I try to.
0:44
SPEAKER_05: Are you like naturally just don't get naps?
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I be tired.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: I'd be wanting one.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: But I'd be like, if I take this nap, it's not gonna be a nap.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be asleep.
0:57
SPEAKER_05: That's the space I'm in.
0:59
SPEAKER_05: Like, um, I will typically try to take a nap, but I'm so on my head.
1:04
SPEAKER_05: Like, get up, do this, get up.
1:06
SPEAKER_05: So it's like I'm really just laying down with my eyes closed.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: You be like this.
1:10
SPEAKER_05: I know I'll close my eyes, but like if it feels like a 30-minute nap, but it's probably been 10.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: So I've laid down and jumped up, like, oh snap, I'm late.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: It's the next day, it's the next morning.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Seven minutes.
1:28
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:28
SPEAKER_05: Yep, I've done that before.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Seven minutes.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: But the seven minutes be so good.
1:32
SPEAKER_05: Uh-huh.
1:33
SPEAKER_05: And then, but you're waking up in the panic, so now you all Right.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Jitters all bad, nerves all bad.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: You be like, oh, babe, how you letting me sleep that long?
1:45
SPEAKER_05: Yes, that's more my husband than anything.
1:47
SPEAKER_05: We gotta be like, okay, I am up.
1:49
SPEAKER_05: But and yeah.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: And I'm up.
1:52
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:52
SPEAKER_05: So just letting the brain not rest is and always having to this cycle of life, basically.
1:59
SPEAKER_05: Always going, going, going.
2:01
SPEAKER_05: Um, I live in that every day now.
2:04
unknown: Every day.
2:05
SPEAKER_05: Every day.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
2:06
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
2:07
SPEAKER_05: And with the kids too.
2:08
SPEAKER_05: So yeah.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: A kid in college, two in middle school, one getting ready to go to high school.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: And it's like they're so spread out now.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And then my my older son, he's um enrolled in the early college.
2:28
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: Going to the ninth grade.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: So when he graduates, he will have a high school diploma and an associates.
2:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, that's awesome.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And he's wanting to play football, but I think he's kind of dialing back and looking more into like um being an agent somewhere or being a part of the NCAA or whatever uh space he wants to be in.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: Because I told him, I say the thing with this, I say, you don't have to be on the field to be in the NFL.
2:59
SPEAKER_05: That's true.
3:00
SPEAKER_05: I think a lot of uh kids miss that.
3:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they miss that.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: So trying to figure out where he wants to be.
3:11
SPEAKER_05: Have you ever seen this show's Apple TV called Swagger?
3:16
SPEAKER_05: It was about it's like similar to LeBron's movie that he had when he likes his friends, but it's these, I want to say it's been a while, like four or five kids.
3:27
SPEAKER_05: Um they come from like, you know, I think some of them come from different backgrounds, but for the most part, poor.
3:33
SPEAKER_05: Um and there was one of the boys on the team, very ambitious, but he's like the shortest player, right?
3:41
SPEAKER_05: And when they went to this school, this newer school, private school, the whole concept behind one of the coaches, older white guy, was like, tie your shoes.
3:50
SPEAKER_05: Tie your shoes.
3:52
SPEAKER_05: And I was like, what does this mean?
3:53
SPEAKER_05: I'm watching it, like, what does this mean?
3:55
SPEAKER_05: But he basically was like, wait your turn and always be prepared.
3:59
SPEAKER_05: And what I learned before I even had my son, is like, I feel like when you're on the team, you're not always gonna be the key player on the team, but you you still have a role.
4:08
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes that role is on the court, and sometimes it's off the court.
4:12
SPEAKER_05: So when you said that, like you can be in the NFL, you don't have to always be playing the sport, but you can your knowledge about it because you did play, you have that experience, can go go far, right?
4:24
SPEAKER_05: Yes, so I love that you're teaching him that.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then my baby boy, he um he wants to be a professional streamer.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm fighting that one.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm fighting it.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not him being a professional streamer.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm okay with that.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay, this kid has great personality.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: He's he's his daddy's son, as Shamar would say if he was here.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: Uh-he is definitely his daddy's son.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Goofy.
4:51
SPEAKER_04: That's that's great, though.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: Jokes all day.
4:53
SPEAKER_04: That's perfect.
4:54
SPEAKER_04: We need laughter.
4:55
SPEAKER_04: Laughter itself.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: He's got uh what they call uh what it uh dramatic irony or dry irony, uh-huh.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: Like he says something not trying to be funny, and it is funny.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Right.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: And I'm trying to discipline you.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm not supposed to be laughing at what you just said.
5:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: So then it's like, get out.
5:16
SPEAKER_03: Right.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: And then you laugh.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: And then I have to laugh, laugh out, and my wife is like, I don't even know why you try.
5:23
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I have to.
5:24
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I st I still gotta raise a boy to be a man, you know what I'm saying?
5:29
SPEAKER_00: But I'd be like, I can't even have the conversation.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: You gotta go finish the conversation, yeah.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Because she won't crack like I will.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of things are funny.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: I smile a lot, I do, I laugh at a lot.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: I do.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: I've been through a lot, so I should.
5:45
SPEAKER_05: Right.
5:45
SPEAKER_05: I I agree.
5:46
SPEAKER_05: I'm always like I see my daughters, even my baby.
5:51
SPEAKER_05: Everybody's so silly.
5:52
SPEAKER_05: Like, we are like a silly family.
5:54
SPEAKER_05: We laugh, we joke, we like, so it is very hard to be serious, but when I'm serious, I'm not playing.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and and my daughter, she's a daddy's girl.
6:03
SPEAKER_05: Oh.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: So it's everybody's like, you you you just so lean, you harder on them boys.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm supposed to.
6:10
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: But ain't nobody gonna say nothing to my baby girl except for me.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: I ain't gonna whoop you, but we're gonna fight.
6:19
SPEAKER_05: So Yeah, I think that's natural.
6:22
SPEAKER_05: Men are hard on their boys.
6:24
SPEAKER_05: I can already see, like, with my husband, he's like, he'll be like, oh, wait until waiting until.
6:29
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, he's only five months, like, actually five months today.
6:33
SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, what do you mean?
6:35
SPEAKER_05: But he like preparing himself.
6:37
SPEAKER_05: But the girls, I'm pretty much that he is too, but it's more on me because they're watching every little thing that I do.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, when it comes to these boys becoming men.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: My kids are not growing up in an environment like what I did.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: And it shows these kids leave the blinds open at night with all the lights.
7:05
SPEAKER_04: Oh no.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: They leave my front door wide open.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: 11 o'clock at night, and everybody's upstairs.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: What uh are you doing?
7:13
SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: They don't know about that light.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: No, I get it, yeah.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times I'm like, it's a good thing, but at the same time, I'm like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: We always close the door.
7:30
SPEAKER_05: Yes, close them blinds too.
7:32
SPEAKER_05: Close them blinds.
7:33
SPEAKER_05: As soon as they can see the light from out, turn them blinds, yeah.
7:37
SPEAKER_05: Lock the doors.
7:38
SPEAKER_05: Right.
7:38
SPEAKER_05: My husband probably was a little bit more lean than I am because he liked.
7:42
SPEAKER_05: But I'm like, nah.
7:44
SPEAKER_05: Say, like, lock the doors.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Quickly.
7:48
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
7:48
SPEAKER_05: Right after you, I just got up.
7:50
SPEAKER_05: The door was open.
7:51
SPEAKER_05: He was like, the door was not open.
7:52
SPEAKER_05: I was like, it was unlocked.
7:53
SPEAKER_05: So it was open for me.
7:54
SPEAKER_05: Like anybody can just walk up in here.
7:57
SPEAKER_05: Our backyard is like locked, no one can really get in the back, but still, I don't take any chances.
8:03
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
8:03
SPEAKER_05: So my I'm quite sure I get that from the women in my family, and my dad is super paranoid.
8:09
SPEAKER_05: So yeah, it's really bad.
8:12
SPEAKER_05: So I know that I have that in me.
8:14
SPEAKER_05: So my husband's like, you're always paranoid about every little thing, but I get you.
8:19
SPEAKER_05: Like they're in a completely different um environment than what I'm used to.
8:24
SPEAKER_05: Like, I didn't, I won't say I grew up in a hood, I hood adjacent, like it was like two blocks over from everywhere.
8:31
SPEAKER_05: Or if I did live, my grandma, both of my grandmas did.
8:35
SPEAKER_05: So it's just more of like protecting yourself versus my kids.
8:40
SPEAKER_05: It's like they're living in what I would consider the suburbs, you know.
8:43
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, this is not what I'm used to.
8:46
SPEAKER_05: It's like they're living a completely different life than what my husband and I were raised in.
8:51
SPEAKER_05: So um, yeah.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: Both my grandmothers were off of West Boulevard after Chicken Coop.
9:00
SPEAKER_05: So you're from Charlotte.
9:02
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
9:03
SPEAKER_05: Awesome.
9:03
SPEAKER_05: I love that.
9:04
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
9:05
SPEAKER_05: I love that.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Born and raised.
9:06
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I love that.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
9:08
SPEAKER_05: Always, so I have so many questions.
9:10
SPEAKER_05: I always want to see pictures of how Charlotte was before.
9:13
SPEAKER_05: Um, because I'm from Ohio, so it's O Hmm.
9:20
SPEAKER_05: So um yeah, I'm happy to hear that you're actually from Charlotte.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: Born and raised, one of the few rare breed.
9:28
SPEAKER_05: It is.
9:28
SPEAKER_05: I'm probably you're probably like number 22 that I've met since and I've been here for like 14 years.
9:35
unknown: Oh.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: Almost 14 years.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: Well, you're a southerner now.
9:42
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
9:43
SPEAKER_05: I said once it hits 10, I'm from here.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: This is where you are.
9:48
SPEAKER_05: It's funny because I'll meet people that moved here right before COVID or during COVID.
9:55
SPEAKER_05: And just how I'm like, oh, this used to be here.
9:59
SPEAKER_05: This was how this was.
10:00
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I'm not even really truly from here, but just to see how much change has occurred since moving here, it's wild.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: Easton Mall, Hanniford's, Wendic, uh, Freedom Mall.
10:15
SPEAKER_05: See, I wasn't here for all of that.
10:16
SPEAKER_05: But I think when I moved here, Freedom Mall had just been knocked down.
10:20
SPEAKER_05: Not Freedom, um, is it Eastland?
10:22
SPEAKER_05: What is it?
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Might be Eastland.
10:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, Eastland Mall was just knocked down.
10:26
SPEAKER_05: So, yeah, because even North Lake has changed.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
10:31
SPEAKER_05: When I was, I'm like, they had like more high-end stores a little bit here and there.
10:35
SPEAKER_05: I was like, oh, this is nice.
10:36
SPEAKER_05: It's right down the street.
10:37
SPEAKER_05: Hey.
10:38
SPEAKER_05: And then it changed.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:40
SPEAKER_05: It changed real quick.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Charlotte.
10:43
SPEAKER_05: Yes, welcome to Charlotte.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: All the time.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: All the time.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: So listen, listen, listen.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: We gotta, I gotta pull back.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: Yes, let's do it.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: So, welcome back to another episode of Creative Roots Podcast where seeds sown become visions grown.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Tay.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And Mike is behind the camera today.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I forgot to give him his mic.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: So, Mike probably not gonna do a lot of talking today, anyway.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I want to give a shout out to Allen Lux Studios, Charlotte Podcast Studio, and Artbox Charlotte.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: I would like to thank us.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: Today, we are wrapping up and we are closing out our mental health awareness month.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: And this young lady sitting across from me, very, very highly sought and intelligent.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we have been playing this for what?
11:48
SPEAKER_02: Like six months.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I was right, I was right, six months, and the crazy thing is it aligned with where I originally wanted the episode to be.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Look at God, right?
12:07
SPEAKER_00: As people say, yes, so listen, this is Brittany, she is the founder.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, founder.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: And I was about to say founder and owner, but I mean nine times out of ten, you're both tripping.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: Don't mind me.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: She is the founder of Mama's Block, and I'm gonna let her tell y'all all about it because I'm not gonna mess this up.
12:30
SPEAKER_05: Yes, yes.
12:31
SPEAKER_05: So, yes, I am Brittany Isaac, and I am the founder of Mama's Block.
12:36
SPEAKER_05: Uh, Mama's Block is a mom community ultimately where we empower moms to prioritize themselves.
12:44
SPEAKER_05: So making sure that you um take the time out for yourself in a kid-free space.
12:50
SPEAKER_05: That's one of the things that makes us unique.
12:52
SPEAKER_05: A lot of mom communities are all about, of course, including their children and bringing your kids along.
12:58
SPEAKER_05: But uh, when I talk to the moms who have been to the events that I've hosted, they're like, no, I don't want the kids around because, you know, you have to be so mindful.
13:07
SPEAKER_05: And a lot of us do have smaller children, some have older children as well.
13:12
SPEAKER_05: But we're very intentional about making those connections.
13:16
SPEAKER_05: Um, so yeah, we're a mom community.
13:18
SPEAKER_05: I like to think we're like a vibrant community, more of the let's kick it.
13:23
SPEAKER_05: I always tie everything to music.
13:26
SPEAKER_05: Um, because I love music.
13:27
SPEAKER_05: So when you had the music plan, you could have kept it.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: Right.
13:30
SPEAKER_05: But um I tie everything to music.
13:32
SPEAKER_05: So when I think about uh Mama's block, I think about LL Cool J's Around the Way Girl, right?
13:39
SPEAKER_05: And like the first line I want a girl with extensions in the hair, bamboo earrings, at least two pairs.
13:46
SPEAKER_05: So, you know, she's at the bus stop.
13:48
SPEAKER_05: Well, we're not at the bus stop anymore, but we might be in our car, SUV, in our minivan, and we got two car seats or one or however in the back, or um, we might have some have teenagers or you know, school-age kids.
14:02
SPEAKER_05: So, or some might be grandparents now.
14:05
SPEAKER_05: Um, I've seen um various phases of motherhood in this space, which has been great because again, what try I try to think about things out of the box for this space is this is a a uh community for women in different phases of motherhood.
14:24
SPEAKER_05: Also in the non-traditional um journeys of motherhood.
14:28
SPEAKER_05: So you might be a bonus mom, you might be an auntie cousin sister mom.
14:33
SPEAKER_05: And if you don't know what that means, I think those who are in those roles understand where I come from because when you are raising your own biological children or adoption or foster, whatever it may be, or your sibling or your little cousin, it all to we it you we all need that support.
14:49
SPEAKER_05: We all need that village.
14:50
SPEAKER_05: So yeah, that's uh mama's fine.
14:53
SPEAKER_05: I will also add too um that this is a space where I'm very passionate about supporting mom-owned businesses.
14:59
SPEAKER_05: Um, I see a lot of, you know, people wanting to align with businesses, but I'm very passionate about it because when you have kids in general, whether you're dad or mom, it just takes things to a different level.
15:13
SPEAKER_05: Um, just because having kids is expensive, especially during our times that we are experiencing now.
15:19
SPEAKER_05: So when someone is taking the time to start a business, but they don't feel like they're seen or supported, um, I really like to be a part of kind of like that underdog phase of like, what can I do to help support and not just be a part of the grand opening, but just like, how can I support you throughout the entire phase of your business where I can, right?
15:40
SPEAKER_05: Whether it's reposting, um getting other folks to try, trying to create content for you, whatever it may be.
15:47
SPEAKER_05: I like to be an aide and support that and be out loud with saying, hey, we're supporting these mom-owned businesses.
15:53
unknown: Yes.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: Brittany said a lot.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: I had so many follow-up points.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they they gone.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Listen.
15:59
SPEAKER_05: They'll come back up.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, they will, they will, they will.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: So you say, um you're supporting these moms with these businesses.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: I think that's a major key thing.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Cause like you said, when you have to juggle children, and if you like my wife, you know, you gotta juggle a husband too.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, because I tell people I have a I have a Chandra and three kids.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: But people that don't know, Chandra's my wife's name.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: Really?
16:27
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I love her so much.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: You better Chandra, I love you.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Help me, hold it down.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: But you know, she is slowly off and on with her business stuff.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: And you gotta do that with a spouse, three children, three different uh with these age gaps, um, and work a day job.
16:56
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: And you grinding.
16:59
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: And it's like ain't nobody said nothing.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: So if y'all need me to help y'all with some promo clips and stuff like that, holla at me, I got you.
17:09
SPEAKER_05: Right.
17:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, of course.
17:10
SPEAKER_05: Like these types of spaces are important.
17:13
SPEAKER_05: Um I agree with that.
17:15
SPEAKER_05: I feel like in with every child, I have a four-year-old, a three-year-old, and now a five-month-old.
17:21
SPEAKER_05: And I feel like I have started a venture, a different venture every child, which is it's a small timeline.
17:29
SPEAKER_05: Um, but I I get it.
17:32
SPEAKER_05: I think because I am a mom now, the lens of being an entrepreneur has changed.
17:38
SPEAKER_05: Before I had kids, I had other businesses as well.
17:43
SPEAKER_05: Um, but when you're balancing with being a wife, uh, kids, your full-time job, it is a lot.
17:51
SPEAKER_05: And there are sacrifices that you have to make, whether you're getting up early, stand up late, sometimes you're so focused on work or business that you might not be in the moment with your children or your your spouse, husband, wife, whatever it may be.
18:08
SPEAKER_05: So those things take a toll, and then you're trying to balance your mental health as well.
18:15
SPEAKER_05: You are trying to prioritize yourself and have some sense of self-care.
18:19
SPEAKER_05: It is a lot on top of well, what are we eating for dinner, breakfast, lunch?
18:25
SPEAKER_05: Did you take care of yourself?
18:26
SPEAKER_05: It's just so much, it's a lot.
18:28
SPEAKER_05: It's a lot.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, because my baby will always hungry.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: Shamar, don't you say nothing?
18:34
SPEAKER_00: Because Shamar, you like, guess because he is daddy's son.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: So I'm expecting to see him put that down in the comments too.
18:41
SPEAKER_06: Right.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: Um go ahead.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: And when my kids come in the room, if I'm editing, and I mean I'm I'm in my groove, I'm locked in, I can feel the hinge loosening, the lock loosening.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Because subconsciously, it's like, you got somebody in the room.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: Right.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: I'll stop.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Son, what's up?
19:05
SPEAKER_00: You good?
19:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm good.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: You just came to chill, hang with dad.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's all.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, cool, just do me a favor.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: What's that?
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Turn that phone down.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: I gotta hear this.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Turn the phone down.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: You you I'm good with you sitting.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: Right.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: And my baby boy, he will sit there for hours.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: My daughter, she's different.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: She's coming to talk.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Right.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: My older son, he'll he'll sit there, he'll look, he'll ask questions.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Can I have five dollars?
19:35
SPEAKER_00: Bye.
19:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, he can he want something.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, he can you why he oh he's vulnerable right now.
19:40
SPEAKER_03: Right.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: He's trying to get me like smart, right?
19:44
SPEAKER_03: Very strategic.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Came down here to ask for an add-on for whatever video game he's playing.
19:48
SPEAKER_05: Go ask your mama.
19:49
SPEAKER_05: Right.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: She said, Ask you.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Well, call one of your grandparents.
19:53
SPEAKER_05: I know that's right.
19:54
SPEAKER_05: That's what they're for.
19:55
SPEAKER_05: Right.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
19:56
SPEAKER_05: Because they say yes to everything when they're a grandparent.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:59
SPEAKER_05: Versus when I was their child.
20:00
SPEAKER_05: So I guess.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, mom.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: So mama's block.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: What seed was planted that got you into this building the community?
20:13
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
20:14
SPEAKER_05: So when I started Mama's Block, I felt like it was out of frustration.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
20:18
SPEAKER_05: It's kind of levels to how I started.
20:21
SPEAKER_05: So my first Mother's Day, I went back home and my goal was to spend like, I guess more like have this grandmother's day with my mom.
20:31
SPEAKER_05: Because the actual day of Mother's Day, I think it was May 8th, I believe.
20:35
SPEAKER_05: I don't remember.
20:36
SPEAKER_05: But let's just say it was May 8th, Sunday, May 8th.
20:39
SPEAKER_05: And my mom's first Mother's Day when she had me landed on the same day.
20:44
SPEAKER_05: So I drove back to Ohio.
20:45
SPEAKER_05: I was like, we're going to spend this Mother Day together.
20:48
SPEAKER_05: My mom was like, I don't really want to do anything.
20:49
SPEAKER_05: Like, and I'm like, huh?
20:50
SPEAKER_05: Like, what do you mean?
20:51
SPEAKER_05: I traveled out of town.
20:53
SPEAKER_05: Like, I want this to be grand.
20:55
SPEAKER_05: Mama was like, I don't want to do anything.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: So I said, I drove all the way up here to watch Matlock.
20:58
SPEAKER_05: Mm-hmm.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Because that's what my grandma used to watch.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: But go ahead.
21:03
SPEAKER_05: So I was like, oh man.
21:04
SPEAKER_05: All right.
21:05
SPEAKER_05: But I didn't, I wasn't too upset about it.
21:07
SPEAKER_05: But it was like, dang, I was really hoping that we'd do something.
21:09
SPEAKER_05: But I understood it.
21:10
SPEAKER_05: She's like, I just don't want to go out to a restaurant.
21:12
SPEAKER_05: It's going to be packed.
21:13
SPEAKER_05: And I was like, okay.
21:14
SPEAKER_05: So then the next year, I just had my second child.
21:18
SPEAKER_05: So like four months prior, if that.
21:21
SPEAKER_05: And uh I really was supposed to go out with a friend.
21:26
SPEAKER_05: And I'm a planner.
21:28
SPEAKER_05: And especially five other people I know that were or I have dependent on me, thinking like, okay.
21:35
SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, it's five o'clock.
21:36
SPEAKER_05: My husband, like, they're coming to pick you up.
21:38
SPEAKER_05: They're gonna have this, this, and then I'm like, okay.
21:40
SPEAKER_05: I went out a few days before, got me an outfit.
21:43
SPEAKER_05: Cause this is my really my first out in after having my second child.
21:47
SPEAKER_05: So I get ready.
21:49
SPEAKER_05: Used to be about five o'clock.
21:51
SPEAKER_05: I took off of work.
21:53
SPEAKER_05: Nothing.
21:54
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, uh, what time?
21:56
SPEAKER_05: What time are they gonna come?
21:57
SPEAKER_05: What time is the party bus coming?
21:59
SPEAKER_05: I'm ready.
22:00
SPEAKER_05: Oh, well, we ran behind time.
22:03
SPEAKER_05: I'm checking almost every hour.
22:05
SPEAKER_05: And it's about eight o'clock at this point in time.
22:08
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I'm tired.
22:10
SPEAKER_05: I gotta feed my baby.
22:11
SPEAKER_05: It's I'm not going.
22:13
SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, okay.
22:14
SPEAKER_05: Then I'm like, well, come tomorrow.
22:15
SPEAKER_05: You can come tomorrow.
22:16
SPEAKER_05: Like, okay.
22:17
SPEAKER_05: So I was like, I have someplace to be the next day, but I'll come after.
22:21
SPEAKER_05: I'm reaching out, reaching out still.
22:23
SPEAKER_05: But it's like me reaching out, no return.
22:25
SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, golly, okay.
22:27
SPEAKER_05: So from then, I was like, I will never allow someone to dictate my mother's how I'm gonna dictate like explain my mother's day.
22:35
SPEAKER_05: So I'll do something next year.
22:37
SPEAKER_05: I was like, it would be really nice if I could find some moms.
22:42
SPEAKER_05: We go to a hotel and we just rest, right?
22:45
SPEAKER_05: And we have like some activities planned in between.
22:48
SPEAKER_05: So we stay at a hotel, we go to the restaurant there and just have a good time, have a couple of activities planned.
22:54
SPEAKER_05: And then I just feel like God places on my heart because I kept going back and forth with should I do this?
23:02
SPEAKER_05: I have a past of being a part of organizations and I get so passionate about it.
23:07
SPEAKER_05: And then something happens along the way and it disappoints me, and then I wipe my hands clean.
23:12
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I don't even want to do it anymore.
23:13
SPEAKER_05: And I think I have been living in that space for so long of trying because I feel like naturally I am one of those people to start stuff.
23:21
SPEAKER_05: I'm the one, I'm a connector, I'm a type of person.
23:24
SPEAKER_05: If it's not something that is something that I don't see, then I can't, but I'm I've I was resisting it for so long.
23:34
SPEAKER_05: And I just kept battling it and God just placed it on my heart.
23:40
SPEAKER_05: And it especially when it came around building a community, because I think since moving to Charlotte, I struggled with meeting new people.
23:48
SPEAKER_05: I was very complacent with connecting with people that were either a lot of time from my hometown or from my state.
23:56
SPEAKER_05: Like we have a huge group of people that we know from Ohio, right?
24:00
SPEAKER_05: Um, and I noticed that pattern.
24:04
SPEAKER_05: And I just I was driving home one day and I asked God, I said, why is it so hard for me to like make friends or connect with people?
24:11
SPEAKER_05: Because I feel like I'm a nice person.
24:14
SPEAKER_05: And God was just like, the people that I have that have crossed your path, those weren't the people that are gonna be your friends for a lifetime, right?
24:24
SPEAKER_05: And I felt that.
24:26
SPEAKER_05: And that was kind of my my push to like start this community.
24:30
SPEAKER_05: This is gonna be, if you follow my path, that's what he just said.
24:33
SPEAKER_05: If you follow my path, I will bring the right people along the way.
24:37
SPEAKER_05: And honestly, since then, I started the community and I started meeting all these amazing women that I see as becoming like the next phase, my lifetime friends.
24:51
SPEAKER_05: Um, and you know, from us being moms to our kids meeting to our husbands connecting, it has just been a great experience for myself.
25:01
SPEAKER_05: I'm hoping for them as well.
25:02
SPEAKER_05: I'm quite sure because they say it.
25:04
SPEAKER_05: Uh, but yeah, I've that's kind of been the start out of frustration, then just having that connection with God.
25:11
SPEAKER_05: And I always say each one of my children are like a they're symbolic to what's supposed to happen next in my life.
25:18
SPEAKER_05: And I feel like me having my second child, because we weren't, we were planning to have more kids eventually.
25:24
SPEAKER_05: But uh we weren't planning seven months after I had my first, right?
25:28
SPEAKER_05: Like, oh, like, okay, well, I got pregnant seven months after, or we were not prepared for this.
25:33
SPEAKER_05: Uh so I feel like that's been my second daughter was like my leap of faith, right?
25:40
SPEAKER_05: Just give it, just give it to God, right?
25:42
SPEAKER_05: And when I pray to God and ask about these friendships and connections with people, let me take, let me take the reins.
25:48
SPEAKER_05: Like I am in control, and that's where we are at with mama's block to this day.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: That is very impactful out of frustration.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: Out of frustration, it's amazing what can happen when you get mad and take it to God.
26:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I don't think a lot of people understand that.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I don't know it's one thing to hear it, but it's one, it's a different thing to be in that space and appreciate it too.
26:18
SPEAKER_05: It's an emotion, yeah, it's just like being happy.
26:21
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes tears bring you, you know, great things.
26:24
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes it just depends.
26:26
SPEAKER_05: And I tell people a lot of my ideas come out of frustration, like even with me being kind of taking a step back last year because I was pregnant again.
26:36
SPEAKER_05: I felt like I was so frustrated, but a lot of my creative juices came along the way on like God was trying to basically sit me back for strategy.
26:46
SPEAKER_05: This is how you're gonna come out the next time around.
26:48
SPEAKER_05: This is how you're gonna focus coming back into this space.
26:52
SPEAKER_05: You don't have to do all of this.
26:53
SPEAKER_05: This is a great experience for you to learn.
26:55
SPEAKER_05: You don't have to do all the things, right?
26:58
SPEAKER_05: You can do a little bit because when we when we talk about mental health, I've started to go to therapy and I am learning what overwhelms me, what makes me anxious, and planning so many events was like I was uh and I'm a huge procrastinator, like right.
27:18
SPEAKER_05: So going deep and understanding why do I procrastinate?
27:22
SPEAKER_05: What do I like?
27:23
SPEAKER_05: Everything has been aligned to mental health, but also less strategized, so it does not impact your mental health going forward.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: So you said something that um me and Gera talked about in February, and that thing is last year was like a year for planning for a lot of believers, gearing us to 2026 where now it's time to execute.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and to hear that come from multiple people, and we never had the discussion of you know, I spent all this time planning, all this time planning, you know.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: Um, I need to go learn this, I need to go learn that.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: And then for you to say it, that's why I smiled when you said it, because it's like, okay, so there's another person that has been intertwined in this web that God has created.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: And to sit with other people and have them say the same thing, it's like, okay, like you said, uh, these are connections that are being built in the midst of waiting and planning and 2026, we're pushing.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, we're in May.
28:44
SPEAKER_05: Uh crazy, right?
28:49
SPEAKER_00: Next month is June.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: We we halfway done.
28:54
SPEAKER_02: Pretty much.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, and like I was saying before we started recording last year, I vlogged all the way up until April.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: This year, I'm releasing something every week since January because I went back and looked at all the footage that I did record and never put out.
29:16
SPEAKER_05: Did you put it out?
29:17
SPEAKER_00: It's out.
29:19
SPEAKER_05: Perfect.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
29:20
SPEAKER_05: And I think there's power in that too.
29:22
SPEAKER_05: Like, I have so much content, and I know everyone does.
29:26
SPEAKER_05: And they're like, I just, oh, but because I did that so long ago.
29:30
SPEAKER_05: No, I'm gonna be posting stuff that I when I was pregnant because I was, you know, I just didn't have the energy to do it, but it just wasn't the timing.
29:38
SPEAKER_05: God probably will be like, sometimes, you don't have to post it right now, just collect, collect, collect, and then let it out when it's necessary.
29:46
SPEAKER_05: Or maybe it's sometimes an opportunity for you just to document, but it might be for you, it might not be for the world.
29:53
SPEAKER_05: So I love that you said I'm just gonna put it out there either way, no matter because we don't know.
30:00
SPEAKER_05: Only between you and the person that was on this chair, they know, but other than that, we don't know.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: And well, it's not even the podcast, it's my my vlog and stuff.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think it's literally I think the episode is literally called something like I found it, so here we go.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's just backdated from two or three different weekends or weeks, and it's just like, oh wow, I forgot about that.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, that you did record that, didn't you?
30:33
SPEAKER_00: You know, so it's like when people saw it, they was like, didn't y'all do this?
30:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we did.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: I still have other things that I can still backday, you know.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: So it's just I'll get to it when I get to it.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: So, but let's let's let's go a little deeper.
30:53
SPEAKER_04: Let's go.
30:53
SPEAKER_00: You said that you're in therapy.
30:56
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't think the way I see it, a lot of people that I know we shun therapy.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: And I think the biggest thing from the way I see people is because we have this negative indication of it.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: Did I use that word right?
31:17
SPEAKER_00: I know what you mean.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: It sounds right.
31:20
SPEAKER_01: Sure it is.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: I know what you mean.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: We have a negative mindset and a negative view that has been posed on us from previous generations because grandma, granddad, you know, great grandma, great granddad, they're always just we just gonna figure it out.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: And if we can't figure it out, then you know, it is what it is.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: But like you said, I need to know why I'm angry.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: Why am I always mad?
31:45
SPEAKER_00: What happened in my life?
31:47
SPEAKER_00: What scars are etched in my DNA that have me angry?
31:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, one of my questions, why am I always fighting?
31:57
SPEAKER_00: Years later, I find out because my mom and my daddy was out there fighting.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: So it it's not I woke up one day and was like, I'm just gonna start busting heads.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: No, it was embedded.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And then you find out my grandparents are fighting.
32:15
SPEAKER_06: Wow.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we got a problem.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: So then when I see my older two get to that three and five-year-old age and they boxing, not even fighting, they boxing.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: I have to kill this generational curse, right?
32:33
SPEAKER_05: You know, but habit, that's what I call it.
32:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we're not cursed, we blessings.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
32:41
SPEAKER_05: We blessings.
32:42
SPEAKER_05: So I always say habits, because this is a habit that was been carried down.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: That's it, yeah, and it was thick too.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my god, and I'm like, I want you to come.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: So what?
32:53
SPEAKER_05: No, you say I already see this coming, I know what's happening next.
32:56
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
32:56
SPEAKER_00: And I and I know when all three of my kids are in a space of mad, upset, and pissed off, I recognize it.
33:05
SPEAKER_00: That's good, you know, and that's because I see me in them and how I was and how I felt in that space.
33:13
SPEAKER_06: That's right.
33:14
SPEAKER_00: So knowing therapy is and has helped you get to a new space.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: Can you give, I guess, just something for people that are teetering, because we all know somebody that needs to go but ain't going.
33:33
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I'm gonna be honest, I just started within the past two months.
33:37
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
33:38
SPEAKER_05: Now I probably in 2018 I started to go to therapy.
33:44
SPEAKER_05: 2017, 2018, I went to therapy.
33:47
SPEAKER_05: And I it was timing.
33:49
SPEAKER_05: I thought, I just was like, I don't want to do a homework assignment.
33:52
SPEAKER_05: But now when my therapist gave me homework time, I was like, okay, you know, do what I can.
33:56
SPEAKER_05: I don't put too much pressure on it.
33:58
SPEAKER_05: But for me, I'll kind of tie it to mama's block.
34:05
SPEAKER_05: Throughout the two years, well, year and a half at that point, a lot of the moms were very open.
34:11
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I have to, oh, we gotta leave.
34:12
SPEAKER_05: I gotta go to my therapy appointment.
34:14
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, okay.
34:15
SPEAKER_05: And I would hear this a lot with them.
34:17
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, oh, wow, you in therapy?
34:19
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you're not, no.
34:21
SPEAKER_05: So became like, oh, this is great to hear these women are making time to work on themselves.
34:28
SPEAKER_05: And then I would share things that I was going through, and they would be like, girl, you need to go to therapy.
34:32
SPEAKER_05: I'd be like, okay, you know, like, all right.
34:36
SPEAKER_05: But then when I was pregnant, I had a lot going on, family.
34:40
SPEAKER_05: Um, my dad was dealing with some mental health issues, uh, and everything that entails.
34:45
SPEAKER_05: And I think for me, therapy can find a therapist is step one, right?
34:52
SPEAKER_05: Well, first is the self-awareness to tell yourself, hey, I think I need to go talk to someone, right?
34:58
SPEAKER_05: Um, but then finding a therapist was scary for me.
35:01
SPEAKER_05: Everyone kept saying it's like dating, right?
35:03
SPEAKER_05: I've been with my husband.
35:05
SPEAKER_05: We've been married for almost seven years, but we've been knowing each other for oh my gosh, 16 years, right?
35:11
SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, we talk about dating.
35:13
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I've been out the game for a long time.
35:14
SPEAKER_05: I got time.
35:15
SPEAKER_05: I like what I like.
35:17
SPEAKER_05: Right.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm stuck with my man.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: Right.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: And I'm good.
35:20
SPEAKER_05: So that was my thing.
35:21
SPEAKER_05: And I procrastinate a lot.
35:23
SPEAKER_05: So just sitting down, and I'm a busybody.
35:26
SPEAKER_05: So sitting down and trying to find someone, which is not on my top to-do list.
35:32
SPEAKER_05: So as I'm talking, after I had my, I knew I needed to go because I had this rage, this anger in me when I was pregnant, and I didn't like it.
35:42
SPEAKER_05: And I was like, it's gonna impact the baby, right?
35:45
SPEAKER_05: My baby's gonna come out mad.
35:47
SPEAKER_05: And um, and like I said, was just dealing with a lot during throughout my pregnancy.
35:53
SPEAKER_05: And then afterwards, I still noticed I was still upset about a lot of things.
35:57
SPEAKER_05: And one of my friends has said, it's time for you to go to therapy.
36:01
SPEAKER_05: She sent me a link to the um system that she uses.
36:06
SPEAKER_05: And then, you know, when you search something on social media or just in your phone, you'll get ads all the time.
36:12
SPEAKER_05: So then I was able to find another uh platform and I signed up and it I went from there.
36:21
SPEAKER_05: So now that I've been going to therapy, it's been really helpful because I always consider myself a self-aware person, but it was validating to hear my therapist say that.
36:32
SPEAKER_05: But also, yeah, What's that term you just used?
36:35
SPEAKER_05: Self-aware.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: Self-aware that I must be hungry because I heard tough aware anyway.
36:43
SPEAKER_05: We both hungry, right?
36:45
SPEAKER_00: Right.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: Tough aware.
36:48
SPEAKER_05: Um, yes, self-aware.
36:49
SPEAKER_05: So I've always considered myself self-aware, but the therapist, she she mentioned it like my very first session.
36:54
SPEAKER_05: She's like, okay.
36:56
SPEAKER_05: But even in that, it's been helpful because of how I process things now.
37:00
SPEAKER_05: One of the things that like my very first activity in therapy that we worked on is what I can control and what's out of my control.
37:09
SPEAKER_00: Say it again.
37:10
SPEAKER_05: Right.
37:11
SPEAKER_05: So that now, when I get overwhelmed, when I get frustrated, when it's other people's problems that I'm up here getting all mad about, what can I control and what can I not control?
37:22
SPEAKER_05: So I like now that's like something that sticks with me in the back of my mind, like, okay, like there's before you start reacting, can you control this?
37:31
SPEAKER_05: No, I can't.
37:32
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: I think we had the same therapist, or they studied at the same space.
37:37
SPEAKER_05: Right.
37:37
SPEAKER_05: We'll talk about who yours is.
37:39
SPEAKER_05: But yeah, I she's been amazing in that, um, on what I can and cannot control.
37:45
SPEAKER_05: Also, instead of always focusing on what has happened to me in a negative sense, what am I grateful for?
37:53
SPEAKER_05: Right.
37:53
SPEAKER_05: And what what is making me happy now?
37:56
SPEAKER_05: Focusing on what are my passions and like, okay, what are you gonna do?
38:01
SPEAKER_05: If this is not where you're happy at, then what are you doing to make you happy?
38:04
SPEAKER_05: So that has been like foundational for me in becoming this, I want to say better person, but more clear-minded person and not focusing on like just being in my head all the time.
38:17
SPEAKER_05: It's still very new and fresh, but I have seen a lot of changes in how I process things now that I didn't before because I was just so reactive and then also holding things in.
38:29
SPEAKER_05: Now that I have like my weekly sessions, I look forward to therapy because whatever I went through during the week, I can release it during my session.
38:37
SPEAKER_05: So that has been helpful as well.
38:39
SPEAKER_05: So yeah, therapy has been great.
38:41
SPEAKER_05: And I think I honestly think we all need to go.
38:44
SPEAKER_05: Me too.
38:45
SPEAKER_05: Um, my husband has even started going, he started a year ago, and it has been transformative for him.
38:52
SPEAKER_05: Um, and I also have set the expectations when I went into therapy, is that just because this is my therapist now, that does not mean that this will be my therapist forever.
39:01
SPEAKER_05: I think I've heard that a lot.
39:03
SPEAKER_05: I've read about it a lot of you're gonna go through different phases of your life, that they are gonna one therapist might help you through, and then another one might bring something completely out.
39:12
SPEAKER_05: So I just went in, like we dating, but you're not my, you're not like, I'm not married to you, right?
39:17
SPEAKER_05: You're here.
39:18
SPEAKER_05: I feel like I selected you, I let God take control.
39:22
SPEAKER_05: He was like, this is it, and it's been great.
39:26
SPEAKER_05: Um, but I know that eventually I'll go to someone else and they're gonna pull other things out of me that I didn't think of before.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: So only for a season.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: That's pretty much it.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: Because when I went, I was in therapy.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: Um my end result was like you said, it's two questions.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: Can I control this?
39:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes or no?
39:48
SPEAKER_00: If the answer is yes, take control and flush through it, you know, get through it.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: But if you can't, wash your hands with it and move on.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: Because there's no need to force yourself to fix something that you already know you can't fix.
40:04
SPEAKER_06: Right.
40:05
SPEAKER_00: And that's with anything, but the biggest thing is people, because I'm a people person, and I always tell people my heart is bigger than my wallet right now.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: Right now, we're gonna get them on the same page.
40:20
SPEAKER_05: Yes, yeah, I feel you on that one, yes.
40:23
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, you hear somebody going through something, it's like, okay, if I got$200 and I know they got$200, am I gonna pay my bills or am I gonna pay their bills and wait for them to pay me back?
40:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go pay my bill because I I can't help you.
40:39
SPEAKER_00: But if I could, I would.
40:40
unknown: Right.
40:41
SPEAKER_05: You know, and if I can, but yeah, and then that oh, that's another thing too.
40:47
SPEAKER_05: Your intentions mean are so good you want to help everyone, but everyone's intentions that you might be helping might not be the same.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
40:54
SPEAKER_05: And that's that's another thing that I've learned in therapy is enablement, right?
40:59
SPEAKER_05: I've always wanted to help others and be there for others and do, and they was like, you are an enabler, like, and I'm like, oh my gosh.
41:07
SPEAKER_05: Then I did the same thing.
41:09
SPEAKER_05: Well, where does this come from?
41:10
SPEAKER_05: Generational, right?
41:12
SPEAKER_05: Um, so you know, and and and then I see it a little bit in my daughters, right?
41:18
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, oh, we gotta work on this.
41:19
SPEAKER_05: It's not to say break it, but at the same time, how can they I help them process, yeah, shape it and process when like, oh, this is what's happening.
41:28
SPEAKER_05: Let me think about it, right?
41:30
SPEAKER_05: Figuring out ways to communicate.
41:32
SPEAKER_05: Can you control it?
41:33
SPEAKER_05: Can you not?
41:33
SPEAKER_05: Like some things they have to control, other people have to control.
41:37
SPEAKER_05: So yeah, I definitely um feel you on that one.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my baby boy.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: He's the one that if he comes, all the kids now.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know, but my house is the house.
41:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
41:54
SPEAKER_03: All the kids want to come over.
41:56
SPEAKER_00: They're always there.
41:57
SPEAKER_03: I loved it.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: The weekends.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: Y'all just played football yesterday.
42:01
SPEAKER_00: Why are y'all at my house playing football again?
42:04
SPEAKER_00: You do realize that's why I ain't got no grass, right?
42:06
SPEAKER_00: Because they're always running in between me and a neighbor's house.
42:12
SPEAKER_01: Right.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
42:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, it's cool if it ain't no grass there, but my baby boy, he comes in the house to get water.
42:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
42:20
SPEAKER_00: He wants to get water for everybody else.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I told y'all to bring a water bottle.
42:27
SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: We have a fountain in the garage.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: The um, like what you have at the office.
42:34
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
42:34
SPEAKER_02: Water cooler.
42:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
42:35
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: We got one.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
42:37
SPEAKER_00: Bring your own cup.
42:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: That way you don't have water bottles in my yard and y'all not taking, you know, my wife's water bottles, or y'all not taking all of my ice.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, but my baby boy, I'm like, why do you have six bottles of water?
42:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, because so-and-so and them wanted water.
42:54
SPEAKER_00: Say, tell them to go home and get them a water bottle.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
42:57
SPEAKER_00: That has been the rule since we've been here.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: Stop drinking all of my bottled water.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: Right.
43:03
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
43:03
SPEAKER_00: He wants to get an apple, he wants to share it, son.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: Groceries cost too much.
43:10
SPEAKER_00: Right.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: Especially for him who wants to eat every two hours.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: Shamar, don't you say nothing.
43:16
SPEAKER_04: That's right.
43:18
SPEAKER_00: But I'm I'm trying to help shape and mold that.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: Understand.
43:25
SPEAKER_00: Just because you're thirsty doesn't mean you have to bring water for everybody else.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: You're thirsty.
43:32
SPEAKER_06: Right.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: When they get to that point, they'll ask if they can at least have a cup.
43:36
SPEAKER_00: And I still tell them go to the water machine.
43:40
SPEAKER_00: Right.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, but you we teach these kids so many things with and without speaking.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: And for me, we're always teaching you know right now.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: We're teaching our kids how to handle the
44:00
SPEAKER_05: themselves handle business and do what you said you were gonna do um according to whatever those rules and regulations are right you know we're teaching them um what's the word patience oh my god that's a big one teaching them to pick up on social cues because sometimes kids can miss it yes and then it goes back into them um enabling so I know for me like you said I'm I'm having to shake for me it's not difficult because I can see it I notice it I recognize it right and then I have to use certain vocabulary words you know because my kids will come to me and say something I'm like when did you learn that word you know because I grew up reading a dictionary so I say a lot of words and sometimes like I did earlier I'm like did I use that word right very cumbersome I think I used that wrong but you can check me on it but um so with mama's block with your events you're slowing down but we're getting ready to get the ball rolling you do have something coming up yes soon okay I thought so yes uh June 13th um I'm partnering with uh a nail artist her name is uh Daisha Golden um her handle is beautifully golden on Instagram and she's actually my nail artist right I love getting my nails done it's so it has been throughout the years I think I've been going to her for about seven years and uh it's a way for me to express myself and she's a mom we actually were pregnant at the same time with her her her second my first and um it's again another way for me to work with a mom on business and we'll be doing a uh like a sipping paint but for nails so press on nails and uh I'm super excited about it we've been pretty much planning it probably for nine months but because I was pregnant I couldn't do anything I was like tapped out I could just show up for my family and work and that was it so we've been planning it but it'll be June 13th at indigo coffee and tea in uptown um looking so forward to it we haven't released it yet but by the time you guys see this yeah by the time y'all see this that'll be a week and a half two weeks oh yeah it'll be out there yeah yeah because this is the last Thursday in May okay so perfect so it'll be out there it'll be so go look them up go go look for it yes and it'll be actually it's not just for moms I always keep it open just for everyone uh I think the direction I'm moving more in is a lot more collaboration because I'm learning I love to plan things but the day of I'm just like can I just be a guest too like I want to see everything that I put together and just enjoy it.
47:00
SPEAKER_05: So it'll be great.
47:01
SPEAKER_05: I still be hosting of course but I'm looking more for collaborations with other uh like workshops and just doing stuff and I have some other things in the work that kind of aligns with that too but I can't talk about it right now.
47:15
SPEAKER_05: Oh exclusive yeah I I love anticipation like I know everybody wants to get stuff oh I'm so dramatic.
47:23
SPEAKER_05: I love it like what what's next?
47:26
SPEAKER_00: I don't know like you must like suspense movies.
47:30
SPEAKER_05: I do um not scary movies but I love a suspense I love like oh my god oh no we can't talk about it because it's a TV show I just finished watching like if it's like a crime like a solving a mystery on who did what I love those yes yeah me too storytelling yes yes you like I like building the suspense in it to be continued yes so that's what I did with my short film you have a short I got yes I got a couple calls yeah I put it out two weeks ago okay yeah send me this stuff I have to send you all this yeah send it to me because that's not coming up I'm like what I didn't see this but yeah so that's that's one and then like I said I'm just taking things day by day month by month uh like I said a lot of different projects that I'm wanting to work on because in building this space I spent a lot of money um and I with having another child that changes things yes uh so I have to be more mindful and though people are like get sponsorship get these deals I'm like it's it's a challenge because these corporations are you know everyone is is starting something and wanting handouts so I I even feel like and then I am so focused on working with small businesses but it's hard to ask a small business can you give me this and this and that when they're trying to make ends meet so I'm trying to think of a different approach to you know brand awareness for those uh businesses at my events and you know because everybody wants something free but sometimes I just come to the event and what you pay for is what you what you get and just enjoy and be in that because I think I'm very intentional about the events that I put out there.
49:14
SPEAKER_05: I try not to I try not to do what other mom communities do.
49:20
SPEAKER_05: So I see them I support them I want love to support them more and connect with them because I am the type of person to be like hey let's get together let's meet let's meet for coffee let's see how we can support each other.
49:33
SPEAKER_05: Yeah um and I'm hoping to do that more because there are more mom spaces that have popped up since I've slowed down and um but if I notice that they have a particular vibe or events that they host I don't feel like it's necessary for me to host the same type of event personally.
49:52
SPEAKER_05: Because I feel like we we're we're all saying well we're not competing but then at some point we are if we're doing the same thing.
49:58
SPEAKER_05: So if I see that they are doing a spa day I would rather support you and come to your spa day because that's one less spa day I have to plan right um if it's you know um a pool well I did a pool party but if it is a pool party I don't have to do it I know this space is doing it now.
50:16
SPEAKER_05: And we all can go there we can go there to support because it's nothing like planning all these events and then no one shows up because I've had that my very first event was a Mother's Day event two years ago and I had 60 people RSVP.
50:32
SPEAKER_05: How many people you think showed up two 15 15 for the win it was for the win but I spent a lot of money on 60 for 60 so my question is why y'all ain't show up for real and then y'all be mad when we want to charge y'all for a ticket and it was free they got a free drink ticket or one or two drink free drink tickets I had food I had a DJ I had it all I had so all they had to do was show up and have a good time shame on y'all yeah and it that shook me because I mean I was feeling good like I'm gonna have 60 people come like oh my gosh I had my line sister come she came down to support me like so for 15 people to come but you know what made that made me realize was those those 15 people for the most part a about 60% of those women I still keep in touch with um there were a few in that bunch that I did not know that are my friends to today I have really good friendships with them.
51:35
SPEAKER_05: I check in on them and it also taught me there's nothing wrong with intimate group settings and that's where I feel like I thrive better in versus a large event I'm not the outside person like I like to be outside I'm more of a I'm in I'm outside I'm in the cut like I'm watching I'm kind of like checking the vibe but I don't have to be in the middle right right so when I had that event and I was well I was pissed off again um being honest I literally had to realize what was God trying to teach me right and that I really feel like that was it and then when I start doing events and a small group just kept showing up I was like I like this because one thing and my moms will tell you this too is I'm very intentional.
52:23
SPEAKER_05: If there's a new mom that comes to this space I know she's probably and most of them come by themselves a lot of women do come by themselves I know how much courage it takes to go into a new space they don't know anyone and then for them to sit up there and no one is really welcoming them.
52:38
SPEAKER_05: No one they don't feel seen and I'm like for my moms who I see all the time I can talk I got your number we meet up all the time or we see each other.
52:47
SPEAKER_05: I'll talk to you later I'll talk to you later it's someone here that they need they came they just like you spent your money your time but they need it because they don't know anyone here and we all know how that feels um and it's been great because even though the women that have be who are part of the community they're very intentional about it too.
53:06
SPEAKER_05: One of my favorite questions they ask when they come into the space or new mom coming to space what's your story I love that because it's like we're trying to get to know you but we know you have a story and in hearing them talk about their stories, you know, they've shared issues you know whether it's been with some of the single moms like how they've been able to grow in that and just be able to move forward and I've seen them have very very uh vulnerable conversations with each other and they were learning lessons like hey I think you should do this and here's some advice of what I've done in the past and that has been like beautiful to see amongst them.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: So you know yeah and that's kind of what um me and Maud were talking about you know is like men don't open up.
53:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah so when they do show up to one of his events like you said you came here with a purpose you know we need to have this conversation you know and make you feel welcome because all it takes is one time and you will never go to any type of event regardless of who's hosting it.
54:13
SPEAKER_00: Right because you've been in a sense you've been burned you know you have this negative um inclination of what these events look like now and in a sense it's kind of like how people go to church.
54:27
SPEAKER_00: You know you go to church and you don't get seen you don't get recognized nobody's saying anything to you they're not welcoming you know everybody is clicked up in these in the church and see that's why I don't go to church type stuff.
54:39
SPEAKER_00: Right.
54:39
SPEAKER_00: Or I'm never going back to that church.
54:41
SPEAKER_00: You know so in that space yeah you hey girl hey hey bruh I'm gonna go holla at the new guy the the the new lady because they need that I can I can just see people walking in and they kind of do one of these numbers they're trying to figure out which group do I belong to not realizing that this is one group we might be in sessions where we rotate right you know we talk here and then we all split up we all have a different number all the number ones get together now one go find a number two a two find a number three you know however it goes and right they might walk in in the midst of that and not realize that's what's going on.
55:32
SPEAKER_04: Right.
55:33
SPEAKER_05: Yeah but even in the midst of that we've all been here we've all been here hey I understand what we supposed to be doing let's go get bro real quick right it's like um you always hear the the phrase a seat at the table by my approach is yeah I hear that right it's more of pull up a chair yeah right it's more of pull up a chair because a lot of people yeah you want a seat at the table but it can get overcrowded and and that's fine but if it does ask some ask someone if you see them in the back pull up a table pull up a chair I mean pull up a chair not a table if you don't if we need an extra table we'll get one that too so I I just I I try to be very mindful of that um because I've seen I can see it in just their body language that it's like no one's talking to me.
56:23
SPEAKER_05: So then guess what comes out?
56:24
SPEAKER_05: Their phone and what else going on today right man so as soon as I've seen that girl come on like tell me about yourself like what's been going on where you from are you from here like it's easy conversations.
56:38
SPEAKER_05: So I try not to be too network type of vibe.
56:42
SPEAKER_05: It's just come as you are and then we'll just engage and let it flow naturally I'm not gonna be on top of you like as soon as you get there like hey you know what you think you know because that can be overwhelming too but I always say I'm so happy you talked about this about your house being the everybody wants to come to your house.
56:58
SPEAKER_05: Like this is the house everyone that's how I want mama's block to feel like you know when you enter motherhood or when you think about motherhood and you just need a space to get away and breathe like I know where I can pull up to it's not the aesthetic type of I can care less about an aesthetic it works my nerves I you know I feel like if you are a vibe you are the aesthetic no matter how you show up you can come cute laid back in your sweats in a ponytail however your hair is I want people to know they can come and show up as they are.
57:29
SPEAKER_05: And for us women I think about it as like it's easy when you've probably seen your mom do this and when she comes home take a bra off like it's so comfortable I want mama's block to be for women because I in a lot of spaces you you do have to dress up and be or put on you don't have to put on in this space because we want to see you your true self and that doesn't mean that your hat your kids have to be around for you to show up because I even feel like that's a friend like if you cuss you probably not going to be no depending on the some people don't care.
58:02
SPEAKER_05: But at the same time if you cuss and you don't want to cuss around your kids but your kids are there and you want to have a really deep conversation then you put no you can't be that and I've even told some of my mom this I intentionally have have set it up this way so we can get to know each other as women we know motherhood is connecting us but how are we connecting as just women right so let me get to know you because in our conversations and us getting together I'm understanding your morals your values like how you function how you think how you talk about your child and we're learning each other.
58:39
SPEAKER_05: So now it's like dating I like you right I like you as my friend let's get our kids together because I've been in some spaces where our kids connected but I didn't connect with the the mom right because it was like we're just two different people we just didn't vibe versus when I get to know the moms as just women now it's like our kids can be around each other.
59:02
SPEAKER_05: And then we become we now we're talking about each other to our spouses now our spouses I'm invited to the birthday party and our spouses see each other.
59:11
SPEAKER_05: They vibe and that's literally has happened in a lot of my relationships my friends like we're friends our husbands meet each other and we are like yeah they like each other right and my husband has had events um shout out to my husband for having these uh events for not just jazz but men and he has had like 50 guys come over to our house and he sets it up like a lounge and and a lot of those so not a lot of them but a good number of those men I wouldn't say half but probably like a quarter are some of my friends that I've met husbands or you know their spouses and I think it's been amazing because he's been able to build relationships with them connect other uh business owners to say hey well you have this business y'all should do some stuff together it's been great because we're not only us women building community with each other based off our connection to motherhood now our husbands our spouses and so forth they've been able to connect so now we're building that village which I feel like is now becoming more of an ecosystem for us to have for ourselves as women for the kids for the husbands as businesses now and so forth.
1:00:20
SPEAKER_05: So we're trying to build something where you know we might not call each other every day but we know that we have those connections there and those people that we can depend on when we need it and vice versa and that that's that's good.
1:00:36
SPEAKER_00: I like how you worded that the ecosystem yes because when everybody can get along yes it's not girl you coming but leave your husband right hey bro you coming but hey I ain't trying to be mean but you gotta leave your wife at the house right hey you can't bring them bad kids over here right yes you know because I've had people come to the house and it's worse because it's family and their kids are jumping on my couch.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_00: If you don't get off my couch your mama might not beat you but guess what?
1:01:09
SPEAKER_00: Right I got a bill and I am not afraid to use it.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_05: Right right and the funny thing you talk about that is we become we've built that connection with each other as adults as you know I'll say as us as women where my friends have been like if you see my child doing something get on them like hold my kid like hold because I know when I talked to my mom my mom was like yeah the lady down the street because they used to have a party line back in the day she would say and everybody on the street shared the phone right basically so if or a phone line or something like that.
1:01:44
SPEAKER_05: And she said if somebody seen me do something down the street by the time I made it back up to the hill your grandma knew about it and I was in trouble.
1:01:53
SPEAKER_05: Parents held their kids accountable right you don't have to hit the child but like call like hey I know and there was this understanding that we're looking out for each other's children.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_05: Now I feel like but don't say nothing about my child and then parents be going at it at the schools and so forth.
1:02:10
SPEAKER_05: But because we got to know each other and we understand each other's heart and how much we love our kids and we are not just about our kids it's about all the kids we're very intentional but uh uh like if you see no correct hey if she's being rude if he's being rude make oh excuse me let's make sure we say this again yes ma'am yes you know making sure because we know it takes a village it's not just on the parents because a lot of us are not from here a lot of us don't have grandmas and grandpas here to pass our kids off to so we we have to you know depend on each other in helping us raise our kids together so yeah so with that because that's a good segue uh with knowing that there aren't some people don't have the grandparents some people don't even have the parents here that too you know or parents have passed too yes that too so when it comes to mama's block and everything that you have going on how how has the support for the the the greater mission been I think because it's been great I'm grateful for what I do have right because again I personally believe the women that have come into the space have been so good right it's they've been so good because I sometimes can be talking to someone that's new and they can still vibe it I don't have to I mean I'm there but I don't have to be there and I've also met people be like oh I became friends with someone I haven't seen this person in months or almost a year.
1:03:49
SPEAKER_05: And they're like I became friends with this person and I'm like okay you do remember this person uh I don't remember but I remember the face but I don't remember the name they're like yeah we hang out all the time I'm like oh they get because we can I came to your event so to see that I think that's been great um last year from outside of motherhood I was able to be an in-con sponsor um for I don't know if you heard of it No Man's Land in Charlotte it is held during uh March during Women's History Month and it's a huge festival um really good friends with the um owner of that event and she said hey you know motherhood is a part of womanhood I would like for you to be um an in-con sponsor and you know we worked out some things that I could do so I think I've some spaces I don't because I don't as I personally think because I don't fit the uh the box on like oh motherhood always or these mom communities have to be cutesy or yeah why don't you bring your kids you don't love your child enough your child or your children enough to have them around like no we need a break again we're gonna be real about it I sometimes need to be away from my kids because I am with them all the time um so I do need a break for myself and having these events or attending like events it is helpful.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_05: So because I don't really feel like I fit like the box um or a lot of the times I don't see people reach out to me I'm always the one to reach out to and initiate that I know that they're you know supportive in their own way I'm assuming um but I am appreciative of those who I do connect with because everyone I've connected with it has felt good.
1:05:39
SPEAKER_05: I always say does it feel good?
1:05:42
SPEAKER_05: And if it doesn't it's not for me.
1:05:44
SPEAKER_05: And if it does it's like that's my warm and fuzzy that's why I'm like okay this is my this is like a forever partnership for some extent like I know based off the strength of us connecting and you know us talking before and seeing what you have going on it's like okay I'm Supporter, right?
1:06:01
SPEAKER_05: Um, and I'm like, I'm just naturally like that.
1:06:03
SPEAKER_05: I love to connect, and I'm like, oh, how can I help you?
1:06:06
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:06:06
SPEAKER_05: Because I want to see this thrive, and then I'll start getting actually like you know, that's just naturally me.
1:06:12
SPEAKER_05: Um, and just from just like the outside, I mean, I haven't really been as big, of course, as I want to in Charlotte, but we're still I'm still very much new in this space.
1:06:23
SPEAKER_05: I'm not an influencer, so I don't have thousands of followers, right?
1:06:27
SPEAKER_00: Me neither.
1:06:28
SPEAKER_05: Right?
1:06:29
SPEAKER_05: So, because it and and I'll be honest, it has been a challenge when I'm like, I have been planning events, I'll do, I'll come up with the strategy, and then you know, the return of investment is low of hey, engagement, or, but then someone else who has a huge following, they'll do something, and you know, but I understand just the way of the world too, with popularity and having those connections with people.
1:06:54
SPEAKER_05: I literally started from scratch, like no one knew me, like I'm not out there like that to you, you know, I'm not on the scene, I should say.
1:07:03
SPEAKER_05: Um, and I've been okay with learning that and accepting that my journey is different and growing this space, but I know there's people that have been appreciative of it.
1:07:13
SPEAKER_05: There's people who haven't been able to attend events and they're like, I can't wait.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_05: When are you coming back?
1:07:18
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, oh, okay.
1:07:19
SPEAKER_05: Because I have thought about maybe I shouldn't.
1:07:21
SPEAKER_05: There's plenty out there, and I feel like people are more aligned to um those who come into community spaces when they already have a huge following.
1:07:31
SPEAKER_05: Um, versus I'm like, no, that's okay, because everyone that comes in is coming in equal.
1:07:37
SPEAKER_05: No one is better than the other.
1:07:39
SPEAKER_05: No one is, this is not a popularity contest.
1:07:42
SPEAKER_05: So I want to really focus on having authentic relationships, like, stripped all of that.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_05: And I think people who do have followings and influences, I have one influence tell me, like, sometimes I don't even want to come to an event and create kind of, I just want to show up.
1:07:57
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, you guys need that space too.
1:07:59
SPEAKER_05: It's here because everybody's coming in equal.
1:08:02
SPEAKER_05: Like, right.
1:08:03
SPEAKER_05: I'm not putting anyone on a pedestal because you have numbers associated to your Instagram or social media page.
1:08:10
SPEAKER_05: You are human.
1:08:11
SPEAKER_05: And are you a good person?
1:08:13
SPEAKER_05: That's what's really gonna show up here.
1:08:15
SPEAKER_05: And you know, my girls are like, I like this person, this person's cool, or maybe this not space.
1:08:24
SPEAKER_05: Like, I can't control who comes, right?
1:08:26
SPEAKER_05: But they can feel it.
1:08:27
SPEAKER_05: And I mean, I just always say they are literally a vibe, right?
1:08:31
SPEAKER_05: It's the girl, they're girls, girls.
1:08:33
SPEAKER_05: It's very much we're cheerleaders of what you got going on.
1:08:36
SPEAKER_05: They, it'll even be like, hey, I have a business or I have something going on.
1:08:41
SPEAKER_05: Can you reach, can y'all like like it, repost?
1:08:44
SPEAKER_05: Like, I'm really trying to increase my engagement.
1:08:46
SPEAKER_05: All right, got you, girl.
1:08:47
SPEAKER_05: What you need?
1:08:47
SPEAKER_05: Um, I've even had a friend, she um, a mom, a part of the community, she does fitness classes and she started a new class, but um at a new location.
1:08:58
SPEAKER_05: And I didn't know where the how many people were gonna show up.
1:09:01
SPEAKER_05: And I like text probably like five or six moms and was like, hey, she got this class coming up.
1:09:05
SPEAKER_05: Let's surprise her and let's pull up so she can have that support for her first class and it can be more people than she's expecting.
1:09:13
SPEAKER_05: So, you know, yeah, I'm just proud to be able to be appreciative of the what I do have and the connections that I am making in this space versus the numbers, right?
1:09:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and is I'm with you with where you're like, I wouldn't mind if it was something big, but I like this small intimate group setting.
1:09:39
SPEAKER_00: And even if every time we meet, there's only one or two extra people showing up, the way I'm looking at it, we're growing the way we're supposed to.
1:09:49
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
1:09:50
SPEAKER_00: And you're being vetted, you're vetting yourself.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_03: Yes, you are, you know.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_00: So when you you do show up, you can see how we move, how we operate.
1:10:01
SPEAKER_00: You've already seen something or heard something, which got you here anyway.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_00: The final step to quote unquote close the deal is you showing.
1:10:09
SPEAKER_00: So when you do show, you say, Oh, it's not a lot of women.
1:10:16
SPEAKER_00: But like you said, it's not about the number, it's about the goodness, it's about the the mindset, it's about what can I get from these five women or or these 15 or 20 women that I would never get from a room full of 200.
1:10:35
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
1:10:35
SPEAKER_05: I would say how I move is my intent and my impact and the impact, right?
1:10:41
SPEAKER_05: So if my smaller events are impactful, I prefer that versus if it's a hundred people, it might be impactful, but I probably wouldn't know as easily as I would if it's with those 20 individuals, right?
1:10:56
SPEAKER_05: Um, last year I hold an event called Gumbos, stands for gathering unique moms for bonding opportunities.
1:11:02
SPEAKER_05: And it was a collaboration that I worked on uh with four other moms.
1:11:07
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:11:08
SPEAKER_05: And that was a 20 event, 20, about 20 moms attended.
1:11:16
SPEAKER_05: And I loved it because we had moms in different phases of their motherhood journey.
1:11:22
SPEAKER_05: And there was an older mom who's a grandmother as well.
1:11:26
SPEAKER_05: She just dropped so many jams on us.
1:11:30
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, this wouldn't have happened.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_05: If if you have a hundred-person event, they want a celebrity panelist and all, you know.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:11:37
SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, just what the nuggets that she dropped.
1:11:40
SPEAKER_05: When I tell you I had to be like, we gotta hurry up, guys, we gotta be out of here in like an hour.
1:11:44
SPEAKER_05: So we gotta keep moving on to the next.
1:11:45
SPEAKER_05: Everybody was like, I wish you could have just continued the conversation because she was just dropping so much wisdom on us because a lot of us are like younger in our motherhood journey.
1:11:55
SPEAKER_05: So just to hear what she was telling us to prioritize ourselves, you know, be intentional about the relationships you have with your kids, but also still prioritize yourself because in order for you to thrive in this, you gotta pay, you know, take care of yourself.
1:12:09
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:12:10
SPEAKER_05: And in that event, I learned that it's important to focus on impact.
1:12:17
SPEAKER_05: Like, what is the intent of the event and what do I want people leaving?
1:12:20
SPEAKER_05: And also what I want myself to leave here with, whether it's from the planning perspective, when I go into my next event that I'm planning, how do I want people to lead?
1:12:30
SPEAKER_05: What are the what's the feedback I want people to get?
1:12:32
SPEAKER_05: And then trying to shape it around that.
1:12:34
SPEAKER_05: So um I think, you know, like I said, you're growing at the rate you're supposed to because there's a story in that.
1:12:41
SPEAKER_05: And I think that's what's powerful.
1:12:42
SPEAKER_05: That a lot of people when starting something, they have to be very mindful of it takes time.
1:12:48
SPEAKER_05: Um, don't let social media fool you into thinking that everything's supposed to happen fast.
1:12:54
SPEAKER_05: But I've learned in business throughout the years, I feel like the best stories are the ones that there was a slow ramp of, right?
1:13:02
SPEAKER_05: I am at this point where I want my story to feel like a well-aged steak.
1:13:08
SPEAKER_05: I love steak.
1:13:10
SPEAKER_05: So, like if it's age and it's been marinated for it's flavorful, it's juicy, anticipation, right?
1:13:16
SPEAKER_05: Going back to that, right?
1:13:17
SPEAKER_05: I am I know it's gonna be good.
1:13:19
SPEAKER_05: I know it's gonna be good because it's it's it's well marinated and seasoned and it has some history behind it versus it's fast.
1:13:29
SPEAKER_05: It's kind of like are you gonna do this?
1:13:30
SPEAKER_05: But like it happened in like 20 days, and you know, it's not fun, right?
1:13:34
SPEAKER_00: It's like smoking a brisket or turkey.
1:13:37
SPEAKER_05: Yes, looking greens, right?
1:13:40
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you have to.
1:13:41
SPEAKER_00: There are stages of preparation.
1:13:45
SPEAKER_00: There are.
1:13:46
SPEAKER_00: And if you strip that, there's no flavor, there's no, there's no tenderness, there's nothing that makes you say, oh my god, I'm so glad I waited.
1:14:00
SPEAKER_00: There's nothing there.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:14:02
SPEAKER_00: Because we we not McDonald's.
1:14:04
SPEAKER_02: Pretty much.
1:14:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm stake 48.
1:14:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh, let's go.
1:14:09
SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
1:14:10
SPEAKER_05: You know, not everybody can afford me, right?
1:14:13
SPEAKER_05: So, right, that's fine.
1:14:15
SPEAKER_05: But I you have to have that standard for yourself as well.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_05: Even in going um into these spaces, community business, whatever it may be.
1:14:25
SPEAKER_05: If you have the confidence in who you are, you have your days where you don't, oh, I'm not, you where you're not measuring up or whatever it may be.
1:14:32
SPEAKER_05: But I always would tell my my friends and my mom is this as well.
1:14:36
SPEAKER_05: I am not a little dog, but I am an underdog, I might be an underdog, but I'm not a little dog.
1:14:42
SPEAKER_05: And that means it's like I'm still a big dog and I got a big bite either way.
1:14:46
SPEAKER_05: I might be new in this game, but that does not mean that I'm not here for the long run, that I don't, I'm not as creative, I'm not, you know, as smart, ambitious, or whatever it may be.
1:14:57
SPEAKER_05: Just keep continuing to remind myself of that and having that confidence in what I'm able to produce.
1:15:03
SPEAKER_05: I know that it's like, it's just probably not my time, but I honestly think it is.
1:15:07
SPEAKER_05: It's just slow, right?
1:15:09
SPEAKER_05: It might be slower, it might be a ramp up, or maybe God is keeping me at this pace.
1:15:16
SPEAKER_05: So whatever might be in the forefront for someone else, I don't have to deal with that.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_05: You know, that's not, it's not on my path right now.
1:15:25
SPEAKER_05: Or it's kind of like um you're in traffic, right?
1:15:29
SPEAKER_05: And you're like, why is this person in front of me driving so slow?
1:15:32
SPEAKER_05: But little do you know, God is preventing you from being in an accident, right?
1:15:37
SPEAKER_05: Because you're taking your time.
1:15:38
SPEAKER_05: And I that's how I like to think of things now.
1:15:40
SPEAKER_05: I have to, again, what can I control?
1:15:42
SPEAKER_05: What can I not?
1:15:43
SPEAKER_05: And in that, this is what might be happening.
1:15:45
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
1:15:47
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm with that.
1:15:49
SPEAKER_00: Things require time.
1:15:50
SPEAKER_00: They do.
1:15:51
SPEAKER_00: Things require intention.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_00: But what's the impact?
1:15:57
SPEAKER_00: So I'm shaping basically a lot of what you said, and I'd be with a lot of the guests.
1:16:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm I'm with you.
1:16:08
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
1:16:09
SPEAKER_00: When I'm with you, I'm with you.
1:16:10
SPEAKER_00: When I ain't, right.
1:16:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, in every every community that is being built, especially when it comes to the mental health space or um anything related to health and fitness, things like that.
1:16:26
SPEAKER_00: You you have to find your crowd.
1:16:28
SPEAKER_07: You do.
1:16:28
SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a reason people go to Plenty Fitness compared to Gold's Gym.
1:16:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, there's a reason why they take this class compared to that class.
1:16:36
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
1:16:36
SPEAKER_00: Because some people, we don't want to be seen.
1:16:40
SPEAKER_00: We want to be heard.
1:16:41
SPEAKER_00: We want to be felt.
1:16:42
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
1:16:43
SPEAKER_00: Because just because we're not here doesn't mean you can't remember what I said.
1:16:48
SPEAKER_06: Right.
1:16:49
SPEAKER_00: You know, but some people, they just want to be seen in their presence is more than enough that I know when this person steps in a room, when they open their mouth, I need to be ready.
1:17:01
SPEAKER_00: Whenever you're ready.
1:17:03
SPEAKER_04: Right.
1:17:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, there are other people, they walk in a room and it's just, why are you here?
1:17:09
SPEAKER_00: If this phone don't stop vibrating.
1:17:13
SPEAKER_05: So it's just they want to be in the room.
1:17:17
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
1:17:18
SPEAKER_05: That's what I've learned too.
1:17:20
SPEAKER_05: Some people want to be seen, but they just want to be in the room, right?
1:17:23
SPEAKER_05: With no intent, with no impact.
1:17:25
SPEAKER_05: They just want to be included.
1:17:27
SPEAKER_05: They don't want to be left out.
1:17:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's real.
1:17:32
SPEAKER_00: I know people that just they they're nosy.
1:17:36
SPEAKER_01: That too.
1:17:37
SPEAKER_00: They want to be there so they can figure out what to go back and talk junk about.
1:17:40
SPEAKER_01: That too.
1:17:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'm okay.
1:17:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, same thing with you know, when people leave comments.
1:17:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I'm no longer worried about the negative comments on any of my YouTube or Instagram pages.
1:17:54
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:17:55
SPEAKER_00: Because everybody's entitled to their own opinion.
1:17:58
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
1:17:58
SPEAKER_05: That's what I always say too.
1:18:00
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
1:18:00
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
1:18:01
SPEAKER_05: That's great.
1:18:02
SPEAKER_00: And because you put that out there, my response is usually something mildly strongly petty, depending on how you look at it.
1:18:08
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:18:08
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for commenting.
1:18:09
SPEAKER_06: Right, guys.
1:18:10
SPEAKER_00: Because now we have engagement.
1:18:12
SPEAKER_00: Is there anything else you would like to let me know?
1:18:15
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about this video?
1:18:17
SPEAKER_00: Go comment on that one too.
1:18:18
SPEAKER_04: Right.
1:18:19
SPEAKER_04: No, I love that.
1:18:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:18:22
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm I'm gonna wrap this up because we've been talking for a minute.
1:18:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
1:18:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:18:28
SPEAKER_00: I mean, but when you're in a conversation and it's a good conversation, yeah.
1:18:32
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
1:18:34
SPEAKER_00: So everything with mama's block.
1:18:39
SPEAKER_00: Um building community, yes, being intentional, therapy.
1:18:44
SPEAKER_00: What seed or seeds would you plant for I guess one moms looking for a space, um, and two, just in general, for anybody that's looking to be a part of or build a community?
1:19:00
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think um for your first one for moms, either looking for community, like looking for community, right?
1:19:08
SPEAKER_05: I would say be open to the spaces that you're entering into because I'm very honest with myself, mama's block is not going to be for everyone.
1:19:20
SPEAKER_05: Just like the next space might not be for me.
1:19:22
SPEAKER_05: Or you there might be multiple spaces that might be good for you that you could be a part of too.
1:19:28
SPEAKER_05: Um, so that just keeping that in mind, and that can change, right?
1:19:32
SPEAKER_05: And throughout different phases of their uh motherhood journey, because that's to me, I think that's key because things might change.
1:19:40
SPEAKER_05: Um so I would just say be very keep your mind open to um different spaces.
1:19:45
SPEAKER_05: Uh, but if you found your space, you're you found your space along the way, and I think that's a great thing.
1:19:50
SPEAKER_05: And then for those who are building community, just be patient.
1:19:55
SPEAKER_05: Uh just because again, it depends on where you're at.
1:19:59
SPEAKER_05: If you're starting from scratch, like myself, be very patient.
1:20:03
SPEAKER_05: Um, I learned that from a lot of different business owners when I had that first event, and I told you only 60 people, no, six people signed up, 50 people showed up.
1:20:13
SPEAKER_05: When I had told two business owners in Charlotte, hey, like I had a stove out event.
1:20:19
SPEAKER_05: And they looked, both looked at me and said, uh-huh.
1:20:22
SPEAKER_05: Okay, if those people don't show up, don't be mad, okay?
1:20:26
SPEAKER_05: And I said, okay, what are they telling me that for?
1:20:29
SPEAKER_05: I see why.
1:20:30
SPEAKER_05: Because they've probably gone through it themselves.
1:20:32
SPEAKER_05: And it was a reality check for me.
1:20:34
SPEAKER_05: Like, okay, I got so happy and probably got a little hair, you're like, hey, okay, cocky about it.
1:20:40
SPEAKER_05: But I learned that, hey, some things are going to happen along the way that you cannot control.
1:20:47
SPEAKER_05: So focus on what you can and be appreciative and grateful for the those who do show up because they're supposed to be there.
1:20:55
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:20:55
SPEAKER_05: Um, because you can get discouraged when you know people don't show up, don't engage.
1:21:01
SPEAKER_05: And also really just tap into not if you say that you're not in competition with others, show that, connect with other spaces, similar spaces.
1:21:10
SPEAKER_05: Some people will respond, some people won't.
1:21:12
SPEAKER_05: Some people will say they're going to follow up and help you out, and they won't and be okay with that and move on because that's just a sign there.
1:21:21
SPEAKER_05: They were not who you were supposed to work with.
1:21:24
SPEAKER_05: Um, so um, and then appreciate the ramp up about with building, right?
1:21:30
SPEAKER_05: There's something beautiful about that because all you're doing are collecting these nuggets for your story at the end of it all.
1:21:36
SPEAKER_05: So uh when I think about building community from that, just being open and being a great leader and connecting with those who show up, uh, be a reflection of how you want to be um welcome into a space, right?
1:21:53
SPEAKER_05: So if I know that I've been in spaces where someone I was not welcome, make sure I and be intentional.
1:21:59
SPEAKER_05: If you see, I always call them a wallflower in the back of the room, they're not connecting.
1:22:03
SPEAKER_05: Be intentional, be mindful of saying, hey, I'm going to make sure those people feel included.
1:22:09
SPEAKER_05: So um, yeah, that's what I definitely will say.
1:22:12
SPEAKER_05: Those are some seeds that I would share with others in growing these spaces.
1:22:16
SPEAKER_05: Collaboration's always key, being grateful and so forth.
1:22:22
SPEAKER_00: Keep an open mind.
1:22:23
SPEAKER_00: Keep an open mind in every room you go into.
1:22:25
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
1:22:26
SPEAKER_00: Because you never know what can happen.
1:22:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, coming here.
1:22:30
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know we were gonna be talking this long.
1:22:33
SPEAKER_00: But hey, it works, it works, yes, you know, it is it's a good conversation.
1:22:40
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's it's enlightening.
1:22:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, you grow up and you see what the women in your family go through, but then you just assume uh maybe it's just them.
1:22:50
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
1:22:50
SPEAKER_00: But it's not you know, it's spread out this whole month of mental health awareness, you know, from Maud to Dolores to Valia, and then now you we've covered a plethora.
1:23:09
SPEAKER_00: We've covered men, we've covered the child in the middle, where that's the children that have two separate households, and they're the one that's affected.
1:23:22
SPEAKER_00: We've talked with Valia, who is a therapist, and she helps you know, mainly with the children, and here we are, mamas.
1:23:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the first and the last ones that are in the midst of everything.
1:23:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes, because mama spit you out, mama take care of you, mama does things that you don't even think about.
1:23:49
SPEAKER_00: So, shout out to my mama, shout out to my wife, and shout out to Brittany and every other mother out there because when you really sit and think about what a woman does, boy, shut up.
1:24:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, boy, shut up.
1:24:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes, my wife prepares my lunch for the next day.
1:24:12
SPEAKER_00: My wife washes the clothes unless I jump the gun.
1:24:16
SPEAKER_00: My wife makes sure that this house is clean.
1:24:20
SPEAKER_00: Yes, my wife makes sure that the bathroom is clean.
1:24:26
SPEAKER_00: We rotate towels, we rotate, you know, the sheets.
1:24:30
SPEAKER_00: You have your clothes picked out, the closet is organized.
1:24:34
SPEAKER_00: If she don't know where it goes, she don't just put it somewhere most of the time.
1:24:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm not good for her because I need to learn from her.
1:24:41
SPEAKER_00: My wife does so much, and I tell her all the time, I am so appreciative of you.
1:24:47
SPEAKER_00: And then I make a joke, you're the best wife I ever had.
1:24:50
SPEAKER_00: I've ever had.
1:24:51
SPEAKER_00: And she's like, I'm the only wife.
1:24:53
SPEAKER_04: Right.
1:24:53
SPEAKER_00: I said, and that's why you're the best.
1:24:55
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
1:24:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to go and find another one.
1:24:57
SPEAKER_04: That's beautiful.
1:24:58
SPEAKER_04: Yes, I love that.
1:24:59
SPEAKER_00: So again, shout out to all you mothers.
1:25:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:25:03
SPEAKER_00: Shout out to all you dads, because we go through things too.
1:25:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do.
1:25:07
SPEAKER_00: Women, in a sense, don't see because we don't tell y'all everything.
1:25:12
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think um I do think that men in general need space.
1:25:20
SPEAKER_05: Um, like I told you, my husband has started something, and I've been so proud because I feel like men need space in community as well, um, whether you're dad or not, because you're we're learning so much more now versus our parents' generation, completely different.
1:25:40
SPEAKER_05: And I think we're the generation we're trying to fix it, right?
1:25:43
SPEAKER_05: Fix everything, you know, ourselves, things from the past that we've experienced, and you know, change, shift these generational habits that's been passed down.
1:25:52
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:25:53
SPEAKER_05: Uh, so I do think that from a male's perspective, of course, many community, you need to take care of yourself too, prioritize yourself.
1:26:02
SPEAKER_05: Of course, I feel like it's highlighted with women because we carry a lot.
1:26:07
SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, you guys can get pregnant, of course, right?
1:26:10
SPEAKER_05: So, you know, carrying that.
1:26:12
SPEAKER_05: And then, you know, with women, I know we didn't talk about this, but like postpartum depression, rage.
1:26:18
SPEAKER_05: I've learned I'm learning that now.
1:26:19
SPEAKER_05: It's not just postpartum depression.
1:26:21
SPEAKER_05: You got rage, sadness, things, so much to it.
1:26:24
SPEAKER_05: Um, then you have women who, you know, can't have kids and the things that they go to mentally from that.
1:26:31
SPEAKER_05: But also in those experiences, if they have a partner, men carry that too, right?
1:26:37
SPEAKER_05: So um I agree with you.
1:26:39
SPEAKER_05: I think men need those spaces, and we have to uh be, I feel like for me as a as a wife, I encourage that.
1:26:48
SPEAKER_05: Like, go kick it with your guys.
1:26:50
SPEAKER_05: Like, you need that.
1:26:51
SPEAKER_05: Especially when I had my my last my son um five months ago, right?
1:26:56
SPEAKER_05: Before two months ago, go have a good time with your guys because I don't know when the next time it's not, it's gonna be a while, a little bit, you know, because we have this newborn baby coming.
1:27:04
SPEAKER_05: Um, so it's very important for men to have that space.
1:27:06
SPEAKER_05: I agree with you.
1:27:07
SPEAKER_05: Um, but we have to see that too.
1:27:09
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes I know we need it as women, but also that focal because um I know for me, I'm quite sure for your wife, is you guys carry a lot as well.
1:27:19
SPEAKER_05: It might be different, but we that that's why we have male and females, right?
1:27:23
SPEAKER_05: So um I agree.
1:27:26
SPEAKER_00: Good.
1:27:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:27:27
SPEAKER_00: So listen, listen, listen.
1:27:29
SPEAKER_00: This is the space where I open the floor for you to ask me a question.
1:27:35
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:27:35
SPEAKER_00: I never know what I'm gonna get asked.
1:27:37
SPEAKER_00: I never know what I'm gonna be told.
1:27:39
SPEAKER_00: You ask me a question, give advice, uh make a statement, whatever it is, and I'm here for it.
1:27:47
SPEAKER_05: A question for you.
1:27:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh, she's digging deep, y'all.
1:27:51
SPEAKER_05: No, I don't think I'm digging deep.
1:27:53
SPEAKER_05: I'm just trying to think of something.
1:27:55
SPEAKER_05: Um What are things that you appreciate?
1:28:01
SPEAKER_05: I know you talked about your wife, but even in like your your mom, like things that you appreciate about motherhood or from a mental health perspective that you see with your wife possibly, um, that she's navigated motherhood and you've seen her throughout the years and the changes and that you know, you are you have three kids, three three kids.
1:28:21
SPEAKER_05: Um like what her experience has been like in that space and how have you supported her in that?
1:28:28
SPEAKER_00: My wife is one of those where she wears her emotion.
1:28:36
SPEAKER_00: So if she's upset, I'll see it on her face, I'll see it in her body language, um, if she's happy, I'm gonna see I'm gonna hear it before I see it.
1:28:50
SPEAKER_00: If she's upset, yes, I'm gonna hear the silence.
1:28:55
SPEAKER_00: And I believe every husband should yes, we need our break.
1:29:04
SPEAKER_00: She does all this, but when you see it, I can't focus on me anymore.
1:29:10
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
1:29:11
SPEAKER_00: And the simplest thing, because one of my love languages is um connection, you know, touch.
1:29:20
SPEAKER_00: I just say, come here.
1:29:22
SPEAKER_00: Come here.
1:29:23
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:29:23
SPEAKER_00: And I just hold her.
1:29:25
SPEAKER_00: And I said, I take your deep breath.
1:29:30
SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, we don't have to talk about it now.
1:29:34
SPEAKER_00: But I'm here.
1:29:35
SPEAKER_02: Right.
1:29:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't put any rules or stipulations on it.
1:29:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't care how deep into an edit I am.
1:29:42
SPEAKER_00: If my wife comes to that room door and she's got that look on her face, and I tell us that you have a look that says, I have something to say, I'm just trying to figure out when and how, right, I'll stop whatever it is.
1:29:57
SPEAKER_00: There that at that moment, you are my priority.
1:30:00
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:30:00
SPEAKER_00: I don't care what deadline I have because if I'm pushing a deadline like that, either one, it's something that somebody asked me to do at the last minute, right?
1:30:08
SPEAKER_00: They'll get it when they get it.
1:30:09
SPEAKER_00: Or two, I procrastinated too long and now I just have to deal with the consequences.
1:30:14
SPEAKER_00: But seeing how my wife moves, how she acts, I'm not gonna say mood swings, but just noticing her.
1:30:26
SPEAKER_00: That I think this is answering your question.
1:30:28
SPEAKER_00: Um you are just taking a step back and not just doing a self-examination, do a house examination.
1:30:36
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:30:38
SPEAKER_00: Because like uh some of the TV shows, and it says when mama's not happy, nobody's happy.
1:30:43
SPEAKER_06: Right.
1:30:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, and while I'm saying this too, thinking, I don't believe in happy wife, happy life.
1:30:49
SPEAKER_00: I believe in happy house, happy spouse, happy house.
1:30:52
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
1:30:53
SPEAKER_00: Because everybody needs to be in a state of happiness.
1:30:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:30:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, I can't be angry because my wife is angry.
1:31:00
SPEAKER_00: And if I'm going through something and she's jumping with joy, I can't just jump with joy.
1:31:05
SPEAKER_00: I have to get myself to that point.
1:31:07
SPEAKER_06: Right.
1:31:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, so just acknowledging her, what she's going through.
1:31:14
SPEAKER_00: I tell people, I say, I see like Dragon Ball Z, you know, when they go super saiyan, they have this aura, this light.
1:31:23
SPEAKER_00: And I can look at certain people and I can see this aura coming off of you.
1:31:30
SPEAKER_00: And you know how when you look in the distance and you can see like the heat, it kind of looks like that.
1:31:38
SPEAKER_00: And I have to gauge how is this?
1:31:41
SPEAKER_00: Is this like a calm fire?
1:31:44
SPEAKER_04: Right.
1:31:44
SPEAKER_00: Or is this a London bridge is burned burning down?
1:31:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, you I I take a step back, I analyze that, and I act accordingly.
1:31:53
SPEAKER_00: If she's upset, if I'm upset, whatever I'm upset about no longer matters.
1:31:59
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:32:00
SPEAKER_00: Because I need to go check on her.
1:32:03
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:32:03
SPEAKER_00: I need to find out why she hasn't said anything except for, hey, how are you?
1:32:08
SPEAKER_00: And I have not seen her for the past two hours.
1:32:10
SPEAKER_06: Right.
1:32:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm gonna go check on my wife, and she knows I'll go check on her.
1:32:16
SPEAKER_00: Now I might start talking junk, see if I can get her to crack a smile a little bit.
1:32:20
SPEAKER_00: Right, but I'm not gonna intentionally go to her and be like, girl, what's wrong with you?
1:32:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:32:25
SPEAKER_00: You ain't got nothing to say to me today.
1:32:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do that because that ain't what she needs at that moment.
1:32:31
SPEAKER_01: Right, I agree.
1:32:32
SPEAKER_00: So I think that answers your question.
1:32:34
SPEAKER_01: It does.
1:32:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was good.
1:32:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I did good.
1:32:37
SPEAKER_00: Yay, yes.
1:32:40
SPEAKER_00: So listen, one thing I did forget.
1:32:43
SPEAKER_00: Can you please tell the people where to find mama's block?
1:32:47
SPEAKER_05: Yes, so you can find us on Instagram at M-A-M-A-S.block.
1:32:53
SPEAKER_05: B-L-O-C-K.
1:32:54
SPEAKER_05: And this same for TikTok as well, but really we're more predominantly on um Instagram.
1:33:01
SPEAKER_05: So you can find us there on Instagram.
1:33:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and that's it.
1:33:05
SPEAKER_00: And that's it, y'all.
1:33:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, listen, Brittany, I appreciate you being here.
1:33:09
SPEAKER_05: Thank you so much.
1:33:10
SPEAKER_05: Appreciate you.
1:33:11
SPEAKER_05: Thank you for inviting me and being so patient because we have been trying to do this for about six months.
1:33:18
SPEAKER_05: And I thought I could do it, then I got pulled.
1:33:22
SPEAKER_05: Nope, you can't, not right now.
1:33:23
SPEAKER_05: I thought I could do it.
1:33:25
SPEAKER_05: So thank you so much for the opportunity.
1:33:27
SPEAKER_05: I truly do appreciate it.
1:33:29
SPEAKER_05: And just having this conversation with you and hopefully, you know, more in the future.
1:33:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh, we will.
1:33:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes, we will.
1:33:37
SPEAKER_00: So I'm building the community page.
1:33:39
SPEAKER_00: You will definitely be listed.
1:33:42
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:33:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm shifting through some things.
1:33:46
SPEAKER_00: I have to get this page built.
1:33:48
SPEAKER_00: Because I think this is episode.
1:33:52
SPEAKER_00: I think this is episode 56, 57.
1:33:55
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:33:57
SPEAKER_00: I can never remember.
1:33:59
SPEAKER_00: But that's how many people I have to go back and get this stuff for.
1:34:03
SPEAKER_03: Well, you tell me what you need.
1:34:05
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna tell you, and I'm gonna tell y'all, if you have been a guest on Creative Roots and you would like to be put on the community page, all I need is a clean headshot and a paragraph of what you want people to know and your website or your email for people to reach out and contact you.
1:34:23
SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you've been a photographer, videographer, singer, rapper, filmmaker, therapist.
1:34:34
SPEAKER_00: Uh I was about to say something, and I can't remember what my word was because my word was too big, so I had to bring it down.
1:34:41
SPEAKER_00: You have been a community builder.
1:34:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, whatever it is, just send it on.
1:34:49
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:34:50
SPEAKER_00: So that's it, y'all.
1:34:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm done talking.
1:34:54
SPEAKER_05: This was great.
1:34:55
SPEAKER_05: Thank you so much again.
1:34:56
SPEAKER_00: So thank y'all for tuning in to another episode of Creative Roots Podcast.
1:35:01
SPEAKER_00: Uh, shout out to Alan Lux Studios, Charlotte Podcast Studio, and Artbox Charlotte.
1:35:07
SPEAKER_00: That is it for this episode.
1:35:08
SPEAKER_00: We will see y'all in June and we are out.
1:35:11
SPEAKER_00: Peace.