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Transcript

To Bush or Not To Bush? · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Lala. Hello gorgeous,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: welcome back to Untraditionally Lala. I'm having the time of
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: my life. I've got a belly full of sausage McMuffin
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: from McDonald's. Thank you Janet and Jared. You're so welcome.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Thanks for having us. You're so welcome. Have you done,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: you did Untraditionally Lala. You have, you haven't been on.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: You just said our podcast.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I did your guys' podcast.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just see you every day.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So good. I had a heyday. We have so much fun.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I don't... I don't listen to a lot of podcasts.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Your guys' is really good because I like banter like
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: that where I feel like I'm just like a fly
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: on the wall and I can be like.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: You know? I feel like we have a lot of...
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: A Beavis and Butthead relaxation moment. We have a lot of.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Friends who listen.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: Like Maddie always says, she's like, I listen to you
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: guys on my walks and I feel like you're with me.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Weston says it too. Actually, the most flattering thing is
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: that people like actual friends are... text us in a
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: little group and be like, oh my God, I can't
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: believe you guys talked about this on the, and I'm.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Like, wait, you're listening to that?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: So flattering.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I know. Sometimes you forget that people are actually going
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: to listen to what you're saying. I know. Sometimes I'll
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: talk about school situations and I'm like, should I have
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: shared that? Or like a.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Wild sex story. I, although I guess that's more the
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: other one, but still you hit some, you hit some
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: raunchy stuff on this one too.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I've had, now I saved the raunchiness for sex unlocked.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: With Sally, but Sally gets raunchy.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: She does. I love that. That's probably my, I'm not
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: going to rate them, but that's.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: Definitely up there for like one of my favorites.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I love hearing people talk about sex.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I got a little nervous that Ocean was like, maybe
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: not making it into school. Oh, no. I did. For
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: a minute. That's sex positive. It's good. Although I clutch
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: my pearls sometimes with you guys. I know. I'm like, oh,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: my God. I'm like, I'm blushing. So, Janet, your mother
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: has been... We have similar living situations. Yeah. Can you
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: break that down for my friends? So, my mom, we
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: built a... We turned our external... an unattached.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Garage into an ADU for my mom. So we call
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: it like the casita. It's like a, it's like a
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: really nice hotel suite, but it's perfect. I wasn't sure
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: my mom was going to like it. She went from
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: her like four bedroom house that she's lived in since
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: 1987 in Ohio that has like an acre of land
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: and like is very, you know, spread out to like
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: basically being in a hotel suite. And I was like,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know if she's going to like be able
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: to do this long-term.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: She loves it. Like And honestly, sometimes there's days where
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, do you want to switch?
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Like you come in and you be with Jason and Cameron.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: I want the hotel suite for the night.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Well, if you need someone to be with Jason, you know,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: you can always call me.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Get in line, Lala.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Get in line. You can call me and Jared.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: We'll keep you in company.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I love having the husband that everybody wants. I text
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Jason about dudes. I know. I love that. And I
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: feel like he gives you good advice. He gives me
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: great advice. Yeah. And like, I'll tell him and he
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: knows like every athlete on the planet. So I'm like,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: have you heard of this guy? He used to play basketball,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I think. And he's like, God, there's a show and show.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: He played for the Pistons back in blah, blah, blah.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right. Sounds good. He's like, and that
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: contract looks good too. I'm like, I don't really give
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: a fuck about the contract.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Just what's the body situation? Does he seem nice?
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: Like we watched him play there's a lot of fouling
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: going on is he dirty a flopper give me the
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: details yeah um but your mom has been in Ohio
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: for like his.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: Two weeks bullshit Jason and I were like we're firing
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: her this was not approved time off no we were
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: going crazy a little bit I have so much respect
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: for single moms now like the most I can't like
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: it makes me want to text like you Brittany and
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Michelle I know you have like help with family and
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: stuff too but I'm like I want to text them
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: now and be like are you okay like how do
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: you do.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: This you have a husband what do you mean single
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: moms you weren't single momming.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Still even just Jason and I Cameron like.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Can take on all of us I had to change
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: poopy diapers while Claudia was away yeah.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I can't do that other people's kids you're out of
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: your mind.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: Well I did it once I'm like so proud of
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: it because you should it's the first time I've ever
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: done one Well, and when they were that.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Age and eating like real food, it gets brutal. Well,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Jerry said he did me a solid because it was
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: a solid.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, well, that's good because turds are much
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: easier than a mess.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I know. And I kept saying, I was going, oh no,
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: oh no, oh no. And then he was just laying
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: there going. Oh, no.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: And I was like, hold this clean diaper.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: And he was like, that's gross. And I was just like, oh, Lord. Wow.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Because you watched him while Janet and Jason went and
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: got lit at TomTom, right?
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: They hit the town. They were painting the town red.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: We had fun. Good for you. We had fun. That's
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: important in a marriage, I assume, right? To have a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: time together.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: We needed a good night or, like, day out. And
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: I don't... Like, Cameron's a lot right now. Like, he's
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: in midst of terrible twos. So it's like, I don't
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: trust very many people. Not that I don't trust them.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: I don't trust Cameron around a lot of people. But
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: I know Jared can handle him and, like.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not afraid of him.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: No, and he loves you. And there's... Jared's his favorite.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: There's just something about a parent where they just act
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: a fool. Mm-hmm. Because I'll see my kids with other
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: people and I'm like, why are you being such a gem?
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Cam was so good. It was actually wild. Like,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: he was... Better behave than when you're around for sure.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I believe it.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because it's unconditional love. He knows your love
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: is conditional. You better come correct, motherfucker. I think he
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: thinks Jared's a member of the family. 100%. Jared's always around.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Every time I call you, hi, Jared just got here. Yeah.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: And I can't imagine. I mean, we hang out like
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: six days a week. Good for you.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: In the seventh, it's like, Jared's like, I need a
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: break from you guys.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like God after he created the world.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: On the seventh day, he rests. On the seventh day,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: he comes to Lala's house. Yeah. Yeah.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: To film your ta-tas.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Jared has seen me naked a lot.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: All I do is see beautiful women naked all the
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: time and just wasted on the gay you know like
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: do i care at all no i'll just be like
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: talking to you and then there it is the whole
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: hoot and nanny oh yeah i'm full cookie.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Out i don't give a fuck me and my little
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: mrs bigglesworth were like hello jared i love it and
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: i feel so safe and seen because he tells me
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: my body looks tea or.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: Whatever i always say yeah everybody's tea he's probably.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Happy to see a clean shaven situation or laser for you.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: A bushless vagina.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Remember when she went through her bush phase where she
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: was showing it 24-7? I mean, I still will. Yeah,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: but there was like a phase where you're just like,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: look at my bush, everybody.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: I remember.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: It was an announcement.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I remember this was maybe three. You had just gotten
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: married to Jason. And you just whipped that bush out.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: It's natural. I told her, Jared, I said, you have
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: to get rid of that. Like I started giving her
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: what it should look like. And then I like immediately
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: paused and thought she just got married. So, instead of
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: telling her what she should do with her bush, maybe
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I should grow out mine. You should. You know?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Listen, Jason's a real man. He knows how to work
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: his way through a jungle.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: The very first time we hooked up, I had a bush.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: And it, like, normally, when I was single, I would
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: try to, like, I would try to, like, keep it
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: shaven at least for the first.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I would trick him, you know? But with him, I
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: was like, I wasn't expecting, because Jason was my friend,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting that we'd hook up. Yeah. And so
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, just FYI, this is what you're
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: working with. That's called a situation. Didn't stop him.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: And then I was like, good, now I don't have
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: to like ease into the bush. I just, it's there
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: from the beginning. He knows what he's signing up for.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: You think about the bush the way I think about
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: makeup-less FaceTimes.
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: What?
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I only FaceTime dudes like if it's like the first
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: time without my face on like in bed.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's smart.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Because I need you to know how bad it can get.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: It cannot get bad. You look so good. So she's like...
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: First time I fuck, always have to have the bush
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: because I need you to see how.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: If that scares you away, there's a lot more issues
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: than that. So if that scares you away, you're not
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: ready for me.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Just wait until she whips out her gooch tag. Jason
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: swears he never knew that was there until I announced it.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I think he's lying. I think he's like, nope, never
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: heard of it. Never heard of it.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know her.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know how we went from like our families
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: being away to this. But welcome to Untraditionally Lala. Back
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: to the single mommying though. It is hard. And I'm
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: not even single mommying because I have a nanny 10
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: to 4.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, it is not enough. No. I've learned...
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Two adults per child. So if I have another, I
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: need to bring on two more people.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Are you thinking about having another? No, I would have
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: to really, really love somebody a lot. And I would
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: schedule my tummy tuck immediately after. You don't need a
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: tummy tuck. I've never seen somebody bounce.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: Like you do.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: She's saying after she has a third baby, she might.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: After a third baby, that skin stretches. You know Janet.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm mine, but you can wear a bikini still.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I gotta wear the high-waist grandma panties. I do wear one,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: whether I can or not. It's when I move a
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: certain way. Yes, the bounce back, whatever, like, great. But
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: the skin gets a little loosey-goosey.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: And I'll probably have to go in for my seventh
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: boob job after a third. And I just don't know. Like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I'm really gonna have to love you if I'm, like,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: reconstructing my body.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: After the fact. That's fair.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Also, what I've been doing while my family has been gone,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: because I am an anti-wrinkle bitch, okay? I want to be...
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Like Papa John.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, Papa John. That's a good. Yeah. I don't want
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: my face to move.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Not the goal I thought you were going to say.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Not a wrinkle in sight. Plastic. But my girl could
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: only fit me in because she's on, she's doing a
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: grand jury. She was called for a grand jury for
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: the next two months. For jury duty? Yeah. It's way
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: more intense than jury duty. Wow, okay. When she explained it,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: she was like, it's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Okay. She
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: was so excited. So Amber and I both make appointments
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: for 5.30. We pack the children up to take them
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: to our Botox appointment. And while I was there, it
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: was utter chaos. Ocean running around screaming, Sosa running around screaming,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Riley texting away as she should be. But I had
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Lee put Botox in here since I'm not quite ready
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: to do my minimally invasive facelift. In your neck. Yeah,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: to just kind of tighten it up a bit. But
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I had them burn some things off as well. So
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: that mixed with the Retin-A from Mexico. Oh yeah, the Retin-A.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: You did it, right? I did a full peel.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: When we were in Utah, I was like, all right,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I'm not like going to see anybody I know, which
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: I forgot sometimes that people watch that show we're on.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: So I did see people that like wanted pictures and stuff,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: but my face fully peeled off. I did it for
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: like a week.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I was so red. A week straight? A week straight,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I did. Every night, I did a.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Full retin- And then you went and sat by the
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: pool and stuff. Hopefully you wore SPFs. I wore a hat.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I did 100 SPF and I like fully covered up.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So I covered, because I know that's really important. But
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I did, every night, I did a thick layer of retin-A. Yeah.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: And then in the morning, my skin was just, I
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: was flaking off.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Isn't it the greatest feeling in the world? I love it.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I was so tight, actually, for like the week after that,
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: that when I would smile, I was like, I can
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: literally feel my skin like.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: you guys are so like this is bdsm for the
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: face i don't like it well.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I went to um so after i got the things
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: off and then i did what did.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: They burn it with like a match.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: A cigarette no it's like this little needle that gets
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: super super hot and you just hear it go oh
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: my gosh it was like age spots or what burns
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: so i had like This sounds so disgusting, but we're
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: informative on this podcast. So I had a thing here
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: and here and one on my chest. Okay. The one
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: on my chest was like, you could see it in
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: certain light and it bothered me. It was just like
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: a flesh colored, like raised. They didn't call it a mole.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: They called it something else, but I did not love it.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: It made it to leave. Okay. But then there's this
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: thing that can happen where an extremely clogged deep pore
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: is will then form like almost scar tissue. So it's,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want to call it a skin tag because
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: it's not long and you can only see it in
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: certain lighting like this bump. So I said, burn that
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: motherfucker to a crisp. Yeah. So they did. They burned him.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Did it hurt? What?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Does it hurt?
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when they did it. But that mixed with, so
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: you said you put 100 SPF I don't fuck around. Okay?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: This is me at Britney's pool. I look terrifying. I'm
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: full on zinc.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love the zinc.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. All over my face. Yeah. I... Thank God I
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: felt comfortable enough with who was there because I was like,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I look scary. Maybe this is how I should FaceTime people.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: This is what you need to prepare for. As I'm
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: like downing McDonald's, corn on the cob. It's about balance, baby.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: It's all about balance. It's all about balance. I love it.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: And good skin. I love it. Just wait until I
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: have a ton of downtime. I want to get that
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: peel done where it's like a Controlled third degree burn. Oh,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: like Tamara got?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: And like your skin comes off like the mask.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I love that idea. Should we do it together?
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: And then I just went and got Botox last week
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: and they told me about like, it's like ultra therapy
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: or ultra therapy.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, you told me about this. I want to do this.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: And it's like an ultrasound that zaps under and it's
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: supposed to be like a mini facelift, but it's three
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: grand and you have to do it every year. And
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: I was like, at that point, don't I just do
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: a mini facelift in like six years?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: You know? Well, I think we do that first. And
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: then I have decided I'm not doing any cutting into
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: the face until I'm at least 40.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: So how many years is that? Four for me? Yeah.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Three for you?
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: That's really intense. I love this stuff though. I love
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: an IPL laser. Love it.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I love any of the stuff. Basically anything I can
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: do like one time and have less than a week
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: of downtime that then will save me having to like
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: load up on a ton of products or makeup.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I love it. I had Olivia Pearson and Natalie Halco,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: their cousins, and they're on that show, The Girls on Hulu. Mm-hmm.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: And they told me that there's an incredible spa in Calabasas.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: It's called 7Q and it's apparently like the greatest of
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: all time. Kardashians are like obsessed with it. But you
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: have to be careful with certain lasers because they can
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: burn the fat and you can't get fat back. Oh, interesting.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: It is like a delicate dance with like the, you
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: want to look full face and have collagen and elasticity,
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: but also like look skinny and line free and taut
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: and whatever.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's a tough world out there. I know.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: It's tough to be a girl.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: We're gay.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Pretty easy.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: It's easy to be gay?
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Why? I mean, well, I don't have to deal with, like, the...
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: What's it called? The misogynistic, like, beauty standards that women
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: have to deal with.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: You have to deal with closed-minded fucks. Yeah.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but everyone has to deal with that, no matter.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: True.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I appreciate your outlook. And we are allies. I love you.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: And the reason I'm single-mommying it is because Easton is...
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: at the World Series of gay softball. I love that
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: for him so much. I love that he is a
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: token straight. It's my favorite thing ever.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Wasn't that for what we judged?
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: Yes!
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: We judged the drag competition for... Blassa.
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: All I know is every time I tell someone, they're like,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't know your brother was gay. I was like,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: token straight. Yeah. Token straight.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: I love two.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: We need more token straights in the world.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Love a token straight.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Jace is one of my token straights.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Easton has said, I want to go find
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: some friends who are not parents and not gay. I
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: was like, okay.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Although he's been hanging out, his crew has been hanging
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: out with my makeup artists a lot recently.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: They have like, they were watching like the Love Island
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: reunion together. They've all been like hanging out. And I
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: love Monica, my girl.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: So I was like, and I was like, Easton and
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: his friends are so cool. I'm kind of jealous, but I,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't fit in that crowd. I'm not
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: cool enough. They are cool.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're too cool.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He wants to find dudes who he can go
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: out and holler at chicks with. Yeah. Because I think
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: he hangs out with so many gays that then I
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: think people are like, well, are you with, are you gay?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Or like, are you with the gays? Are you with
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: the gays? Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: I can't wait for Easton to have a girlfriend though.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: He needs like, he deserves the world.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I think he's dating that girl. Oh, the far away one.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: We love a far away.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: We love, someone from a far away land long distance
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: it doesn't fuck with our routine you know you start
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: locking down someone who's in the city you know you
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: really fuck with our game of thrones night yeah Yeah,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: and the pod.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: You have to see them every couple of days.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: Nightmare.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I like the quick, like, I'm enjoying my day and
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: just hit them on the FaceTime, don't have to leave. Hi, hi, hi, hi.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Once a month is great for me.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: You know what my mom said? Our moms in Easton
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: were together in Ohio the whole last week. My mom
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: was like, I thought we talked on the phone a lot.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Lala Easton and Lisa talk 24-7 on the phone.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I guess your mom would be like, so what's Janet
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: up to right now? And my mom would be like,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I haven't talked to her in like
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: two hours. And she's like, what? What do you mean?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: We're very codependent. I was like, yeah, they are on
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: the phone a lot. I will call my family to
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: let them know I'm picking up Ocean. I will get
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: her and then we'll call on the way home to let,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I will let them know that she, the eagle has landed.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: The eagle has landed. No, you guys, I'm like ready
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: for them to come home. Do you know what my
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: day started with today? Parked at the bus stop. I
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: arrived 15 minutes early, which is just insanity because again,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: as Amber would point out, I'm bad at time management.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: So I forgot what time the bus actually got there. Anyway,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Ocean goes, pops her head through the seat. Mom, I
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: have to tell you something and you're not going to
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: like it. Oh God. I was like, what? He goes,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I really have to go to the bathroom. I was like, well,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: now I don't have time to turn around and go home.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: You'll miss the bus. And she goes, well, then what
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: do you think that I should do? Should I go
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: on that lawn? And I was like, no, we cannot
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: pee in that person's lawn. That's illegal. We can't pee
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: on the lawn. That's illegal. That's illegal. So there's a
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: towel in the back, like a beach towel. I crawl
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: in the back. I fully undress her so that it
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: doesn't get on the uniform. I wrapped the towel around
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: her like it was a diaper. held it, and she
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: peed in the towel because we had no other option. Oh, no.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Was she okay with this? She was loving it. Oh.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: She's like, Mom, I peed in that towel. I was like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: it's disgusting and it can never happen again. How long
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: did you hold on to the towel before you could
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: get it in the trash? Throw it in the trash?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Why? it. Oh.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: It's a cute little princess blanket with her name on it.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Why would you throw away a perfectly good towel that's
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: just covered in ocean's urine?
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: If she had shit in it, we would have a
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: real big problem and it would have been left on
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: the side of the road.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Very interesting.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: You would huck the towel? yeah when we come over.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: For swim lessons can you make sure we're not using
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: this towel.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Giving it straight to cam tell me this so if
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: cam pees on the floor and you wipe it up
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: with a towel i would use paper towels and clorox
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: wipes no of course you clorox after but like i
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: would use a towel i guess you're right what if
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: it soaks through the paper towels and then it's on
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: your hands yeah okay I don't love this.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Desperate times call for desperate measures.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I wrapped it up right into the wash. Little OxyClean.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Come right out. Okay. All right. That's fine. It's going
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: straight on. I'm going to come out, wipe Cam's face
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: down with it.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: You know, I've heard they make these little like car,
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: car potties that like, it's like a bag.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: It's like a bag that like has a whole thing.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. These people who have potties
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: that they bring out to the pool and stuff. To me,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: that's just teaching your child that they can pee in
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: a potty next to the pool. No, walk into the bathroom.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: You need to give me enough notice.
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Like on what planet are we just like having
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: potties in cars? It's for emergencies.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: So it has like a plastic liner and then you
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: just and toss it and it's like.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: You're so responsible for so much as a parent like
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: you have to think of all of this stuff like
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: oh now she's gonna be used to peeing in cars
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: in towels she'll be like oh yeah you know where
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: we pee in the back seat of the car with
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: a towel or you get a little potty and it's
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: like oh yeah we just pee in the car right.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: But that's exactly what i told ocean this can never
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: happen again because i didn't bring sosa's diaper bag usually
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: i just put her in a diaper ocean.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Oh good i forgot about diapers that's a good one.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: That is a great one, but I didn't have any
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: other choice. I feel so judged by you right now, Janet. Why?
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's fair, but... What's fair? That I
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: am judging you a little bit. I don't feel like
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: P's that bad.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I don't either. I'm not judging you whatsoever.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Jared.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a clean bitch. Although I guess.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I should not be judging because everybody saw me pee
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: in a cup.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wait.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's so true. In a bus in Mexico.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: What is going on here? In just cups?
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: But a cup seems like a little cleaner. I don't know.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: You're almost 40 years old. Although I was so close
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: from spilling that on everybody behind me because I was
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: holding it and we were bumping. Would that have been
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: the worst thing though? I remember who was behind you.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: The peeing in the cup? You don't get to judge. Yeah, no,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: you're right. I thought about it. You peed in the cup.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: You got a full babushka happening.
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Don't fucking judge me. Don't fucking judge my kid. You're right,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: I'm judging a five-year-old.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: In a big old fluffy towel.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: That's actually really funny.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Absorbing it all. You're water sporting all over the place. Yeah.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Not the first time I've done that either. I've peed
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: while driving in traffic like that. Like when you just
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: can't get off the exit and it's like deadlock and
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I'm either going to piss all over
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: my seat.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you do? Or I'm peeing in the cup.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: You did it on the way to the Charlie XCX
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: concert in a party bus with everyone. We had to
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: stop and let her pee.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't want any of these, everybody. Maybe the toilet
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: isn't the worst idea. I think I need one.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I think you need your bladder shut.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: She wants to judge my poor little five-year-old. This woman's
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: getting a porta potty in her own car for herself.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: You could have it installed into my seat. Or it depends.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: There's just, there's something that happens when you, it's mentally
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: where you're like, I can handle this as a mom
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: when you have your mom in the front seat as
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: moral support. When I am, it's just me and my
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: children and I'm it. Like there's no backup plan if
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I can't swing this. Or ask somebody for advice. Yeah.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I ordered a Louisville Slugger. And kept it next to
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: my bed while my family was gone. Because I was like,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you got me fucked up. If you think someone's going
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: to come in this house and I got to wait
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: for the police to show up while the alarms go
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: off and I don't have something to swing at someone.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I have a stun gun and taser next to my bed. Yeah.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: And that's while Jason's sleeping next to me.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: And Jason's a first line of defense too.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I know, but you know what? When I wake him
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: up in the middle of the night. Somebody closes to
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: the door?
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But he's really groggy.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, we're all fucked. I used to be like, can
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I make you a tea? She's like, hold on. I don't,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: let me put my eyes on to just see. Don't
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: say that, Jared.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, where the rooms are.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: We got the pits too, though.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Thank God.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And they're mean. They're really mean people.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: No, but they do get kind of scary. Really? They're
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: like the sweetest dogs I've ever met. They know people
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: they don't know. Like when people come into the backyard.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Well, they like do that loud bark thing. Yeah.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And their hackles raise and the tail goes really
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: straight like hunting. That's what you want though.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I never tell them to be quiet.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: And when I feel like something out there is suspicious...
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: You're like, go get him, Pablo. And I say, get him!
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I do do that and it rattles him up. Yeah. Yeah,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: you're fine. Between the bat and the dogs.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Between the bat and the dogs. Although you should get
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: a stun gun.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you've ever like, when you zip
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: it on, it's like, and it's like, I feel powerful.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have that and then like the bear spray,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: but not bear spray. It's something that blinds the person.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I got the one that fully blinds the person. Like
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: don't come in here and expect to leave with your vision.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: No.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: We did a video, I think it's been like two
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: plus years now, where I accidentally bought a $ 400 turkey
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: for Thanksgiving.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: It was a whole thing.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: You accidentally? Okay. You ordered online?
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I went.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: So my aunt and uncle who live in Los Angeles,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: who have more money than me, were like, they always
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: got this fancy ham from this like cute butcher shop.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: And they were, and it was so good.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: So like every Easter, like whatever ham holidays there were,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: they were always getting this really good ham. And I
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'm going to have everybody over for Thanksgiving.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I bet the butcher does everything. good turkeys too and
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: they're like yep here's the name of the shop it
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: was in atwater village and i forget the name of
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: it now but it's.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: Like it's the but the only butcher that has a
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: velvet ropes outside of it literally and.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: So i don't know why i call like you order
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: your turkey in advance so a couple weeks before thanksgiving
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: my mom calls orders whatever size turkey we.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Need And they don't tell you there's not like this
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: one is going to be... Who would think to ask?
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: Turkeys are like at the grocery store, like the Butterball
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: ones are anywhere from like $ 20 to $ 40. So I'm like, okay,
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: it's probably a hundred, maybe maximum. If it was like,
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: you know, a turkey that had a good life and like,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: you know, ran around the farm and stuff.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: So, which is great. I want my turkey to have
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: a good life. So we get there and I get
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: like a small ham.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Cause I was like, we got to get the ham
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: and a big turkey and everybody in there.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: So nice.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: Customer service is amazing. They like assign a person to
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: you when you walk in to help you get everything
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: you need. And so I'm like, I'm here to pick
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: up the turkey and the ham. They get it all
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: boxed up all nice and a box with handles and
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: all this stuff.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: And then they're like, it'll be $ 481.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: And I was like, We looked at each other. We
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: were like, what is happening?
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: And you can't like, what am I going to say? Like, no,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: it's okay. Send the turkey back to the farm.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: Like, so I was just like, okay.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: I like scan my Amex. And I'm like, I like,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I'm in shock. And I like walk out to the car.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: And I think Jason and my mom were in the car.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: We were like all somewhere waiting together. And I'm like,
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: I did something strange. I'm like, mom, did they say
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: how much it was going to be when you order it?
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: And she's like, no, I mean, how much could it be?
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, my thoughts exactly.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Like $ 481. And I'm like, also, I don't even really
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: like Turkey. I'm like, how good could this, could this
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: bird be? And so Jared and I were like, we
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: have to make a video about this. And we have
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: to now, now that we've spent this much on the turkey,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: we have to brine it. We have to like marinate it.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: It has to be really good.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: What is a brine? Brine is like putting it in
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: a salt bath for two days before Thanksgiving.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: It's like marinating.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: And it helps the moisture like stick into the turkey
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: so that it's really juicy.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: So it's just like water and salt?
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: You basically take a big, like one of those big,
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: like five gallon, like Home Depot buckets. Put salt water
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: and the turkey in it with like some spices and
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: like oranges.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: I think we did.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: And then you put that in the fridge for like
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: 24 hours before you start cooking it.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Does it fit in the fridge?
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: We had to move shelves. That's also why my mom's
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: fridge is really good because we have the main fridge.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: In the main house.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: But then my mom's is the big daddy. And we
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: also use her oven for Thanksgiving, too.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: So we were like, all right, after we brined it,
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: we were like, we got to do a video of
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: us like preparing this turkey.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: We were just going to believe it. We had never
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: done like a cooking video. So we were just like, oh,
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: this will be like, this is so stupid. Like we
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: have to show that like how dumb we are. Well,
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: how dumb she is for getting that turkey.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: And it came though.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: It did come from Spain and it did live in
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: a farm and it was only fed like macadamia nuts
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: or something its whole life. What?
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: It had a better life than me, honestly. It came
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: from Spain.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: And it was like, Do they kill it in Spain?
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: No, I think they kill them here. I think they
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: bring them over live. And then I assume, but I'm
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: not 100% sure.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Welcome to America.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: But these six bucks.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: Then we did this video where we have to, in
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: the turkey, you have to reach in its butt and
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: pull out like the neck and the gizzards.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: You had to do that? Well, I think I made
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Jared do it. I think we were like. This is horrendous.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: For context.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Absolutely awful. And then we were like stuffing butter under
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: the skin and we're doing all this stuff.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: And we were like, all right, let's just post this video.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: And then people thought it was so funny. Like our
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: dynamic in the kitchen where like, I kind of know
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: what I'm doing. Jared has no idea what he's doing.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: And then like just us joking around while we cook,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: which is what we do a lot of the time
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: we're together. We were like, we should start making more
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: videos like this. And now I think we've done like,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know, 30, 40 of them. And if I
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: lived in your house, I would be rolling around.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: You know, you would think that, but look at Jason.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: He still has really good abs. He does go to
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: the gym a lot to work it off. He also,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I think is good at moderation. Yeah. Not a big
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: moderation kind of bitch. Yeah.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he does. Yeah, he can. He knows when to
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: like he listens to his head when it says I'm full.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what that is.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Not at all. No.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: And you have to like have a 15 minute grace
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: period of like finishing your meal and then your body
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: understanding like your mind and stomach don't communicate for like
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: 15 minutes to be like, oh, we're full.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: So I just keep I just keep it going. Sometimes
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: at night when I go downstairs and make myself a
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: little snack, I'm like, I'm going to have more. And
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: then by the time it's time for bed, I'm like,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I feel sick. Yeah. I overdid it. I do that
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: a lot. I had two pieces of cake last night
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: instead of one. Ooh, what kind of cake? Oh, you're
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: left velvet.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: And I was like, that was so dumb. What's your
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: go-to midnight snack? If you're getting out of bed to
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: get something. Oh, nothing's off limits, babe. Okay. Nothing in
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: the cabinet or the fridge is off limits. Nothing is safe.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I love it. You know? I like Mott's gummies. That's
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: like my like quick grab something. The moths. Oh, like
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: the little kids.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: We always get them in bulk and I'll have two
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: packs at night.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: I like potato chips.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Two pack a day. Oh, yeah. I'm more of a
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: salty bitch.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like potato chips or cheese, string cheese.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good one though. That's a good little snack. Yeah,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: that's a healthier one. Last night I had Swiss cheese
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: and gluten-free pretzels and then two pieces of cake.
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: Yum.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Your mom really sabotaged you with that cake. I know.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I told the story of scraping my own name off
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: and giving it to suicide. Did I tell you I did?
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: No, that's really funny.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't tell you. You did shoot for one with
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: your birthday cake?
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: That's smart though, honestly.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: You always had cake coming out of my ears. Yeah,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: you can't get a new one. No. Not when your
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: birthdays are a day apart. Everyone sent me a cake.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Which is so nice. Oh, did I tell you what
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Cameron did with the cake we took home? The one
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: with my face on it?
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: What? It was on the counter. And it was like
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: the day after.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: Because I was going to take it home.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: And he saw it up there. And he, in two seconds,
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: like Jared and Jason were standing a foot away from him,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: pulled the box, whole thing all over the floor.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: And it did like a cartoon.
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: It did like a somersault flip and landed your face
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: down on the thing. Somehow the box opened up and
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: it just was like, splattered everywhere.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: And then Cameron was like trying to pull like a
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: friend's when they were eating the cheesecake off the ground
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: and thought that I was still going to serve it
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: to him.
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, you've ruined it, sir. You're not
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: getting this floor cake. He had to break it to you.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: It was nuts.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: He loves desserts. You saw him at your birthday. He
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: could not function until I gave him like a piece
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: of the cake.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: We couldn't have them. Wait, did you give him one
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: with fruit on it? I gave him the like Chantilly
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Whole Foods cupcakes.
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: At least he got some fruit. I don't think he
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: ate the fruit.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: I think he was actually offended that any fruit was
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: touching it and was like, gross.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I want this part.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Who puts fruit on a cake? Although I did get
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: a fruit cake. Really? Yeah. It was like a crust
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: with like a thin layer of chocolate and it had
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: like a custard and then all this fruit on it.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, if my kids want cake, this is
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: the one they're going to have to eat. So I
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: cut it, put some whipped cream on it. They devoured it.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, y'all made that look kind of good.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: So then, of course, I had to pace myself. I
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: was like, damn, this fruitcake slaps.
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: Yum.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I know. Anyway, back to the Susie cake. I scraped
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: my fucking name off and gave it to Sosa. You know,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: she can't read yet. It's fine.
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: She can't.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: She's having her party. She's so thrilled.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: It's fine. To just be having cake. Did you guys
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: get the invite that says Sosa Cumple Dos?
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It was so cute. How cute is that?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Little Spanish-speaking baby. So cute.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Soselita.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: When she sees the Mexican flag, she loses her mind. Mexico! Mama, Mexico! Yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: she loves it. She's like my culture. She's like, this
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: is mine.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: Well, I couldn't believe that. Sportsman, she was just like,
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: her and Michelle were just talking in Spanish to each other.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: And I was like, what is happening over there?
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: So cute.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: And Michelle was like, I'm speaking in Spanish to her.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: And I said, oh, I guess that's what's happening.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Michelle had to like brush up on her animals because
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: she's like, I don't remember all of the like cow
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: and yeah, like all of the animals, but she brushed
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: up for Sosa. Sosa's like, La Vaca Lola, bitch! La
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Vaca Lola!
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: Boo!
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: That's all I hear about you guys. I will put
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: her in her crib.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: La Vaca Lola!
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: La Vaca Lola, mama! La Vaca Lola! And I'm like,
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I'm getting it. And I'll breathe it in. She grabs
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: it and La Vaca Lola, mama. It's the only thing
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: she wants. You have to learn Spanish. Yeah, no shit.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: How are you going to communicate with her otherwise? I know.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: And I actually want to learn Spanish. So that is 100% happening.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: And I'm thrilled about it. No, do you know how
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: happy it makes me that Cynthia only speaks Spanish to her?
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: And the fact that like, she'll say, I've learned so
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: much just from Sosa. And sometimes I'm like, gibberish. And
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: then Cynthia comes in. She's like, no, she's saying that
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: she would like this and to put it on a plate.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, wow yeah this child is fucking genius yeah.
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: Her brain's gonna be really big because I don't know
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: if it's like a one for one ratio thing but
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: it's like wait tell me more mentally if you can
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: start speaking another language early on yeah you have a
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: bigger brain yeah she'll be physically sized but like smart
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: like neurons firing.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: Off okay good I was like I don't really.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Love that Jimmy Neutron head By.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: The way, that show slaps though. I feel like they
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: offer Spanish at Ocean School too as like an after
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: school program. So I want to get her into it
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to see if I can participate as well.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: I love that. You should tell her. What's the app
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: that does it too?
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: There's a million of them.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. All right. I absolutely love that. And I'm so
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: happy that you have to stay and join me on
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: the bonus episode. My loves. Thank you for listening. We're
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: going to catch you on Monday for the bonus. Love you. Bye. Bye.
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: Thank you.