Latest / Mindful Success Path / How to start your feminine journey (feminine inner work)
Transcript
- 0:32If you're ready to start on your own feminine journey so your life can have more ease and flow, then this is the video for you, because I'm going to be talking about how I created my own feminine journey that took me from being a very hyper independent, stressed out, working all the time, single for 10 years.
- 0:52Woman to in about 18 months, being married to a very masculine provider man who adores me, traveling all the time, living in other countries, and actually finding a new career and new purpose in life in a way where life is a lot easier and it flows a lot better.
- 1:13Hi, my name is Amanda Oeo.
- 1:14Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to get everything you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:22So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
- 1:29And please make sure to give this video a like, because it will help us get it in front of more women.
- 1:34Who need this information.
- 1:35If you're watching this video, then you know that it's no secret that most women, particularly in the western world where I'm from, are very burned out and stressed out and tired.
- 1:45So let's make sure that we get this out in front of as many women as possible so we can start to heal that and in healing that we can heal our relationships, we can heal our careers, uh, you know, our kids can have a better future.
- 1:58It life just gets juicier all around, so you can help us in doing that.
- 2:02By giving this a like, and if you'd like to work with me further, we have some really interesting stuff coming out.
- 2:09Courses, group coaching programs, things like that on these particular subject matters, and you can find all the information for that below as well as free manifestation.
- 2:19Resources.
- 2:20All right, let's get into it.
- 2:21How would you start your feminine journey?
- 2:23So let me give you a little bit of a backdrop in case you don't know who I am.
- 2:28So I spent until I think the age of 33, I think it was, uh, operating in a certain way.
- 2:36And that certain way was the fact that I had been conditioned to be very.
- 2:41Masculine, uh, for lots of reasons.
- 2:44The women in my lineage on both sides were actually very hyper independent and controlling.
- 2:52And that, of course, uh, caused not the healthiest romantic relationships.
- 2:58And in an effort to.
- 3:00Protect me from the world.
- 3:03I got some very common stories, those stories that I got where your life is going to be harder because you're a woman.
- 3:10Those stories that I got were men are trash.
- 3:12You cannot trust them or they're dangerous.
- 3:15So you have to protect yourself and you always have to have control in.
- 3:18The way that you get that control is by making money.
- 3:22That's how you keep yourself safe.
- 3:24So.
- 3:25I grew up with those kinds of stories.
- 3:27That's what I was conditioned with in the household.
- 3:29And then of course, you look at Western society as a whole and you have the conversation of, uh, feminism, which started off as a great thing and has gone totally off the rails, in my opinion.
- 3:43And it's caused all kinds of problems in relationships and in society, but it started with really good intention and we needed that to happen.
- 3:51So we have that conversation going on.
- 3:53Uh, you have like what we see in movies, we see a bunch of stuff about how, uh, struggle, love is normal.
- 4:00It's not normal FYI, but that's what we're being told by entertainment in Hollywood.
- 4:05Sex in the City is a great example of that because when I was growing up or in high school, sex in the city was all the rage and we're like, everybody wants to be like Carrie Bradshaw.
- 4:14And now as an adult woman and female, you realize, wait a minute.
- 4:17Carrie Bradshaw had horrible relationships.
- 4:20I do not want to be like Carrie Bradshaw.
- 4:22And even though Sex in the City was a great show, and very well written and very funny, boy was this toxic right?
- 4:29And, um, because especially while we're growing up, we don't necessarily have filters and to tell us, you know, what's healthy and what's.
- 4:38Not healthy and we don't have discernment.
- 4:40Then you have a whole generation of women who were growing up on sex in the city who thought all that was normal.
- 4:45And that's how relationships should be like, particularly the carry and big dynamic.
- 4:50And it's not normal, it's not healthy and that's not what relationships should be like.
- 4:54So in combination with what I saw at home, uh,'cause I come from a long line of controlling women'cause they had to survive and for various reasons that I can get to in other videos, if you.
- 5:06Want me to.
- 5:07Um, and then in addition to that, you had like society, culture, entertainment basically exemplifying struggle of in a lot of ways or exemplifying very unhealthy relationship dynamics.
- 5:19Then you have the conversation of feminism saying you're equal to a man.
- 5:23Guess what happened to me?
- 5:24What happened to me was I was conditioned out of my femininity and I was.
- 5:29Uh, essentially told that my femininity makes me vulnerable and it makes me weak.
- 5:36And this manifested in a bunch of different ways.
- 5:38So this would manifest, uh, with hormonal issues that I had by the time I was in my early and mid twenties.
- 5:44I actually had like thyroid issues and cys, it manifested in me overworking, it manifested in me picking relationships.
- 5:53That were not necessarily good for me until eventually, um, through a series of events, it all kind of fell apart.
- 6:00So what happens to a lot of people or to a lot of women specifically, is that in order to start their feminine journey, uh, a lot of times women hit a rock bottom of some kind, and I would say any kind of personal growth journey.
- 6:14Unfortunately, a lot of us humans have to hit a rock bottom.
- 6:17In my case, my rock bottom.
- 6:20Was, uh, triggering a lot of ancestral trauma from some stuff that was going on in my career at the time.
- 6:26And also, uh, losing, I'm gonna put it in air quotes, uh, a business or at least losing the business in the career as I knew it.
- 6:34Now, that turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I hit my bottom and I realized through a lot of inner work.
- 6:40Which I'm gonna get to in a second, that I had been conditioned out of my femininity.
- 6:45I had been told things that were not necessarily true in terms of how to make relationships work, and that I essentially been walking around wearing a mask.
- 6:54Most of my life chasing all these external things, uh, for love rather than loving myself.
- 7:01So do you have to hit a bottom to get there?
- 7:03No, I'm just saying most people do hit a bottom, and the bottom usually looks like a career crisis, a health crisis, or a relationship crisis.
- 7:11In my case, it was a career crisis that triggered.
- 7:15Uh, other things.
- 7:16So the first step is to actually spend some time by your damn self, uh, especially if you are the type of woman who tends to jump from relationship to relationship.
- 7:26You, you need some time by yourself.
- 7:28You need some time alone.
- 7:30Uh, you need some time in silence.
- 7:32The reason why I say this is because oftentimes we don't even know what it is that we actually believe about relationships.
- 7:39We don't know what it is that we actually believe about being women.
- 7:43We don't know what it is we actually believe.
- 7:45About being feminine until we give ourselves the time and space to actually look at it.
- 7:50And what happens to most people, and I see it all the time, is women are so busy, uh, giving to everybody else or going for the next achievement in their career or chasing a man or what have you, that they literally have no time for themselves.
- 8:04And when they have no, because they're staying occupied.
- 8:07And when you're occupied, what ends up happening is you have no time for self-reflection.
- 8:11And when you have no time for self-reflection, you can't figure out what it is you actually believe and don't believe about life.
- 8:18When you have no time for self-reflection, you can't come to the conclusion as I did that most of the stuff that I believed about femininity, relationships, uh, masculinity, all those things were actually not true.
- 8:30And that's not at all how these things operated.
- 8:33It was just that that's what I had been conditioned.
- 8:36Into, but we need the time and space to actually work through these things.
- 8:40And for a lot of people, that means sitting still for a while because most people are so busy that they're avoiding this whole conversation to begin with.
- 8:50And then they start finding all these videos like this and they're like, oh, how to manipulate a man into liking you.
- 8:56And honestly, if you haven't done any inner work about your own beliefs, about your own self, love about any of that.
- 9:02You looking at a video about how to manipulate a man into responding to you is like putting shit on glitter.
- 9:08It's not going to work.
- 9:10So step number one.
- 9:12Is you need to give yourself that time and space for inner work.
- 9:15Now, inner work is a constant thing.
- 9:18It is not a one and done kind of situation.
- 9:22However, I have found that for most people, they need to give themselves a block of time.
- 9:27Maybe they take a hiatus from dating for a little while depending on whether, what side of the spectrum you're on, right?
- 9:33So if you're on the side of the spectrum of I'm constantly in a relationship.
- 9:37You sis need to take a break, right?
- 9:40If you are on the side of the spectrum where maybe your post-divorce, maybe you two sis might need to take a break for a little while, uh, if you're on the side of the spectrum like I was, which is like, Hey, I'm just throwing myself into my career and avoiding intimacy altogether, then maybe your work is a little bit different.
- 9:57You have to decide where you are on that spectrum, but you have to give yourself time and space to actually look through your beliefs.
- 10:04Of femininity, uh, look at how you're acting.
- 10:07It's really about taking massive amounts of personal responsibility for what's going on in your inner world, because whatever is going on in your inner world is gonna be reflected in your outside world.
- 10:17So if you keep attracting, for example, a type of man who doesn't respect you, uh, I was just at a.
- 10:25At a meeting for our spiritual community here in Mexico, and the topic was love and all kinds of stories started coming up about men, uh, disrespecting, having whole other families, all kinds of stuff, all kinds of wild stuff that was going on.
- 10:38If you keep attracting that, number one, there is something in you that is attracted to that, and a lot of people don't like to hear that, and there's lots of reasons for it, but that's a video for another time.
- 10:49And number two.
- 10:50You have to take personal responsibility for what you are attracting into your life and what you are attracted to most women, um, and most men too.
- 11:00But we're talking about feminine journey specifically.
- 11:03Most women are attracted to things that are not good for them because.
- 11:07Almost nobody grew up in a household that had healthy relationship dynamics.
- 11:12Almost nobody.
- 11:13And there's lots of reasons for that.
- 11:15So whats that ends up happening as adults is we think whatever we saw growing up as kids is normal.
- 11:20Right?
- 11:21Or if you have a, a background where there was.
- 11:24Perhaps a lot of trauma, um, like some of my clients or people in my life or people who were in that group, then you're, you're gonna think that that kind of trauma is normal because no one ever taught you what a healthy relationship actually looks like.
- 11:39So we do have to take time to reflect on these things and figure out what harmful beliefs we might have about relationship femininity or ourselves.
- 11:49That are keeping us stuck and we have to excavate and as I said, right, lifelong process, but in the beginning, start dedicating time to that and start excavating.
- 12:01When I did this a few years ago, I took about six months and in that time I was working with a coach who was an ex.
- 12:07Expert in neuroscience and we basically started to excavate everything.
- 12:13That is what I, when I discovered what my actual beliefs were about femininity, money, relationships, the feminine, the masculine, that's when I was able to discover all the harmful patterns I had brought, uh, into my life from my family.
- 12:28No shade to them.
- 12:29They are human.
- 12:30They're doing the best that they can, but, uh.
- 12:33There was some really unhelpful stuff there that I inherited and picked up.
- 12:37That's when I became aware of those things.
- 12:39Once I started becoming aware of those things, then I was able to be like, wait a minute.
- 12:43Do I believe that or do I not believe that?
- 12:46And then I was like, Nope.
- 12:47Not taking that forward.
- 12:48And then that's when I was able to actually change my behavior.
- 12:52Unless you do inner work like that.
- 12:54It's like I said, you're gonna keep finding videos about how to manipulate men, how to give, how to get them to give you money, how to get them to do what it is that you want them to do.
- 13:03And it's gonna be like putting shit on glitter because ultimately you're still not, uh, in love with yourself or you have not.
- 13:10Going underneath the surface into your subconscious and your subconscious is really the one dictating most of your decisions anyway.
- 13:16It's the one running the show.
- 13:18Most people are running around making relationship decisions like they're drunk, and what we want to do is we want to get to a place where the subconscious, we're aware of what's going on there so we can start having better discernment and making better decisions about what it is that we are choosing to believe.
- 13:37In this lifetime, and then we can change our behavior accordingly, and we can get to a place of more self love.
- 13:43So that's number two.
- 13:45Number two, on this feminine journey.
- 13:47Is self love.
- 13:48And again, it's not a one and done right.
- 13:50This is a lifetime of work, but that's number two is starting to cultivate a lot more self love.
- 13:58So it's interesting to me how I will watch a lot of videos about the feminine journey and everybody's talking about, uh, going to go get your nails done in facials and massages and all that stuff is great and it has its purpose.
- 14:08But again, unless you're doing inner work, and unless you're doing it from a place of self-love, it's.
- 14:12Putting glitter on shit, right?
- 14:15So we have to make sure that when we are doing those things, we're doing it from a place of self-love.
- 14:19What does self-love look like?
- 14:21This came up a lot again in the group that we just did here in Mexico.
- 14:25Self-love, um, looks like integrating all parts of yourself.
- 14:29So, for example, um, one way, and I noticed this today in which I was.
- 14:35Not loving myself was in, in my life.
- 14:38There's a very distinct, uh, moment when everything changed for me.
- 14:43So up until the age of about 33, I was operating one way.
- 14:47At 33, I hit a rock bottom.
- 14:49I was able to discover all this stuff.
- 14:51I decided to start acting in a different way.
- 14:53My entire life changed.
- 14:54Dramatically.
- 14:56I manifested my husband, I manifested moving to another country.
- 15:00I manifested frequent travel.
- 15:02I manifested a new purpose.
- 15:04Uh, but I had to, so I see two very distinct areas, uh, of life.
- 15:09And I was making the mistake of, um, thinking of the word in Spanish.
- 15:13Now, hold on.
- 15:13Have to translate in my head is like, uh.
- 15:18Pushing away, um, or, or not acknowledging my life before 33.
- 15:23Like, ew, no, I'm not that person, because that person wasn't really me.
- 15:26I was wearing a mask that's like what I had brought on from my family and society and all this stuff.
- 15:30And I was like, Ew, gross.
- 15:32Like I don't want that.
- 15:33But in reality, self-love with integrate all those parts and would look at that past me and be like, Hmm, okay, well actually you learned some really valuable lessons.
- 15:41You learned some really valuable.
- 15:42Skills, you learn some really valuable tools.
- 15:44How about you take those into the second season of your life and integrate those parts and love the parts of you that you may not necessarily, um, have life.
- 15:56So that would be one example.
- 15:58Another example might be, and this was what I had to work on during that time period where I was sitting still, as I mentioned, is I had to look at all the ways that I was looking for love outside of myself.
- 16:10For most of us, we're still looking for love from our parents.
- 16:12In one way or another, and we have to learn to reparent ourselves because our parents were just human.
- 16:19Uh, they're not infallible.
- 16:21They make mistakes.
- 16:22They too have their own stuff that they're dealing with.
- 17:26And for many of us, we come from cultures or generations where exploring these things and becoming more conscious and looking at your beliefs.
- 17:35Was not something that was, uh, done.
- 17:38I mean, if you went to go get therapy or go work on yourself for certain generations or certain cultures, they thought you were crazy.
- 17:46In fact, I'm Latina.
- 17:47If you were a kid and they're like, I'm gonna take you to the psychiatrist, it was a threat.
- 17:51Right?
- 17:52So we come from generations in cultures, um, where the people, our ancestors and the people that came before us were not doing this kind of work, okay?
- 18:03It was not.
- 18:04Typical for them to do this kind of work for whatever reason, but that's okay.
- 18:09Now it's up to us to to, you know, heal that for future generations and also the generations behind us.
- 18:17So one of the things I realized while doing that work, I was still looking for approval.
- 18:20I.
- 18:21Particularly from my mother and um, she was probably looking for approval from her mother and my grandmother was probably looking for approval from her mother.
- 18:31And it was just this cycle that would continue over and over and over again that was not necessarily healthy.
- 18:37So I had to learn to really start loving myself.
- 18:40And when I did that, boom, manifested husband, uh, four months later.
- 18:44So it moved pretty quickly.
- 18:46So that's number two.
- 18:48Self love.
- 18:49Number three, learning the difference between masculine energy.
- 18:53And feminine energy.
- 18:54And I will add something further to this.
- 18:56A lot of people talk about masculine versus feminine energy.
- 18:59I will take this a step further.
- 19:01I think if you are on your feminine journey, you should probably just learn the differences between men and women, period.
- 19:07Like psychologically, how we think, how we operate, how we look at the world.
- 19:11'cause it's totally different.
- 19:12And then it'll help you, uh, relate to men better.
- 19:15But I'll get to that momentarily.
- 19:16Let's talk about masculine and feminine energy.
- 19:18First, so many of us have been taught to be over masculinized, uh, for certain reasons.
- 19:24So we've gone on overdrive with the masculine energy.
- 19:27What is the masculine energy?
- 19:29It's the achievement.
- 19:30It's the working, it's the getting result.
- 19:32It's going out and hustling, uh, every day.
- 19:35It's, uh, the, the forward direction.
- 19:37It's the planning.
- 19:38It's the moving things forward.
- 19:40That's the masculine.
- 19:41Do we have that?
- 19:42Can we do that as women?
- 19:43Can we co-opt that?
- 19:45Of course.
- 19:46Right?
- 19:46But most women would feel much better in their feminine energy.
- 19:50What is the feminine energy?
- 19:51It's being receptive.
- 19:54Uh, it's being more, um, it's more about like the intangible things, right?
- 19:59Like if you look at relationships and you're like, okay, well what do men bring to a relationship?
- 20:04If we're looking at the traditionally masculine things, then it's, you know, provision in the form of money.
- 20:10Housing protection.
- 20:12It's, uh, being the head of the household, moving things forward, moving the relationship forward, uh, things like that, right?
- 20:18It's like having a goal and hitting it.
- 20:20Those kind, it's warrior, it's those kinds of things.
- 20:23And if we look at the feminine, it's more of the intangible.
- 20:25It's more of the inner world.
- 20:27It's more of the inner realms.
- 20:28It's more of the, uh, they're the keeper of the relationship, for example.
- 20:33So learning.
- 20:34Where that energy lies and how you can cultivate more of that feminine energy.
- 20:39How can you cultivate more of that feminine energy leaning back?
- 20:43Stop solving everybody else's problems, right?
- 20:45Let them solve the problems for you.
- 20:48Maybe it is things that move you from being so much in your head to moving more into your body that looks like different things for different people.
- 20:56It could be dancing, it could be painting.
- 20:58It could be a form of exercise that's more sensual.
- 21:03There's meditations.
- 21:04There's all kinds of things that you can do in order to start taking all that energy from being up here in your head, which is a very masculine thing, and moving it more down into your body and becoming more.
- 21:15Relax, it could be gardening.
- 21:16That's very helpful for a lot of women in terms of bringing them back down into their bodies.
- 21:21And I can do other videos on the different ways to bring back your feminine energy.
- 21:25But good place to start in terms of your feminine journey.
- 21:28And then as I was saying, I think one of the things that's super helpful is just on your feminine journey, learning the differences between how women operate and men operate.
- 21:39Because we do not operate in the same way.
- 21:41We are meant to be complimentary to each other.
- 21:44And a big mistake that a lot of women make is either they see their spouses, partners, men as the enemy, thanks feminism.
- 21:53Um, which is not helpful at all when you are in relationship because, uh, the culture has started to pit the sexes against each other.
- 22:01And that's not healthy at all in terms of having a functioning society.
- 22:07Or the other thing that happens is it's not that extreme.
- 22:10Sometimes it's as simple as women think that men.
- 22:13Operate the same way women do and they don't.
- 22:18So I'll give you an example of where this shows up quite a lot.
- 22:22Uh, but I would encourage you to do your own research to learn the differences between men and women.
- 22:27But here's an example that comes up a lot.
- 22:29Uh, a lot of women will start to like, let's say that you want your man to be the provider and you want your man to step up in that department and be more of the leader.
- 22:39Well.
- 22:41The man starts to do that, right?
- 22:43And they start taking on more of the financial responsibility.
- 22:46They start leading more.
- 22:47They start helping more around the house, fixing problems more, and then the woman starts to feel very guilty about it.
- 22:53Like, oh my God, I feel so bad for him.
- 22:56Because the thing is that all of those things would be a burden to us as feminine women.
- 23:03However, they're not a burden.
- 23:05To a masculine man.
- 23:07In fact, it's what helps build a masculine man because a woman's, I don't wanna say mission, but a woman's maybe lesson in life is more about how do I release control and how do I receive and how am I more in pleasure and how do I surrender a man's?
- 23:26Mission or lesson in life is the exact opposite.
- 23:29It's about how do I take on more responsibility?
- 23:32So what happens is that us feminine women see, uh, well first of all, a lot of women are walking around overly responsible and over overly functioning, which is causing all kinds of issues everywhere.
- 23:44But once you've established that and you're trying to, for example, uh, recalibrate.
- 23:50The energy in a relationship, for example, and you're, you want him to become more masculine, we start to feel bad for him, and we're like, no, that's so terrible, because again, it's a burden to us, but that doesn't mean it's a burden to men.
- 24:03Another way of looking at it is that to a man, respect equals love, right?
- 24:09To a woman, it's more about praise equals.
- 24:12Love.
- 24:13So if you see a man praising his woman, she lights up.
- 24:16If you see a woman respecting and appreciating her man, he lights up two totally different things like a woman.
- 24:24I mean, yes, respect is important to a woman, but it's more about the praise.
- 24:28And with a man, he doesn't care about being praised.
- 24:31He wants respect more than anything.
- 24:34So that would be another way in which men or women are totally different.
- 24:38And one thing that was very helpful to me in my own feminine journey, it was really starting to understand how men and women operate differently and where I might be.
- 24:49Falsely assuming that a man operates the same way that a woman does and that he thinks the same way that I do, and that he sees the world and relationships and everything in the same way I do, because we don't, it's like the book, uh, you know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
- 25:04Like we do not see the world in the same way.
- 25:06We do not operate in the same way.
- 25:07We do not communicate in the same way.
- 25:10We don't have the same shadows and we don't have, uh, the same.
- 25:15Lessons in life.
- 25:17So if you're gonna go on your feminine journey, really helpful to learn those things.
- 25:21Very helpful in relationship.
- 25:23Very helpful with learning how to operate in this world as a feminine woman, and also how to relate to the opposite sex and how they operate.
- 25:33So.
- 25:34These are some of the places where you could start your feminine journey.
- 25:38You might notice it's a little bit different than what other people say on videos because other people are quite surface level in what they're teaching.
- 25:45And the reality is that, you know, relationship polarity dynamics, feminine energy, masculine energy, I mean, there's whole schools of thought like tantra who go really deep into this stuff because it's not a surface level topic.
- 25:59It's something that's very deep and a life.
- 26:02Long practice.
- 26:03So if you're gonna do it right, you really have to start going in internal and going deeper than the surface level stuff of what do I text a man or how do I manipulate a man?
- 26:15Or what do I say to get him to do this?
- 26:18It's so much deeper than that, which is why, uh, this video might have been a little bit different.
- 26:23And some of the other ones that you've seen in terms of how to start your feminine journey.
- 26:26So I hope you found this very helpful.
- 26:28If you did, give it a thumbs up.
- 26:30Let me know what the best takeaway was for you.
- 26:32In the comments below.
- 26:34Make sure to subscribe.
- 26:35Hit the notification bell so you don't want me to say single video.
- 26:37We'll catch you on the next one.
- 26:39And don't forget to check out all the free resources, other videos and courses and classes that we have available on these subjects in case you want to take.
- 26:48Things even further and go deeper than what we're able to do in these YouTube videos.
- 26:54Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
- 26:55I really appreciate it and I'll catch you on the next one.