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241. When Leaders Fail You - A Lesson from Ted Lasso · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie (2): Hi friends.
• 0:00
  Kathie (2): It's Kathie here, and today we're kicking off something new and close to my heart.
• 0:06
  Kathie (2): A playlist of life lessons from the show, Ted Lasso.
• 0:12
  Kathie (2): The very first episode we're diving into is the season two finale, Inverting the Pyramid of Success.
• 0:21
  Kathie (2): If you've seen it, you know this one's intense.
• 0:24
  Kathie (2): It's the episode where Nate, the quiet kit man who rose to coach absolutely unloads on Ted.
• 0:33
  Kathie (2): And honestly, I felt it, his anger, his hurt, the confusion about where he belonged, I felt that, and I know many of you have too.
• 0:45
  Kathie (2): So the show Ted Lasso, if you are new, isn't just about soccer.
• 0:49
  Kathie (2): It's about leadership.
• 0:51
  Kathie (2): It's about kindness and being human.
• 0:54
  Kathie (2): In this episode, Nate, has gone from invisible to powerful.
• 1:00
  Kathie (2): Ted promoted him, trusted him, and gave him a voice.
• 1:05
  Kathie (2): But by the finale, Nate's boiling over.
• 1:09
  Kathie (2): He's furious at Ted and says so in a way that feels like betrayal.
• 1:15
  Kathie (2): On the surface, Nate says, Ted abandoned him and doesn't believe in him anymore.
• 1:21
  Kathie (2): Underneath Nate is heartbroken.
• 1:24
  Kathie (2): He craved recognition and consistency.
• 1:27
  Kathie (2): He wanted Ted to keep him close, but Ted dealing with his own panic and personal storms didn't realize how forgotten Nate felt.
• 1:38
  Kathie (2): Here's the first life lesson in this episode.
• 1:41
  Kathie (2): Anger almost always covers pain.
• 1:44
  Kathie (2): You know, they say hurt people, hurt people.
• 1:48
  Kathie (2): When we're overlooked or unsupported, especially by someone we admire, the wound can feel unbearable.
• 1:56
  Kathie (2): It's easy to lash out than to admit.
• 1:59
  Kathie (2): I feel invisible.
• 2:01
  Kathie (2): I think about times in my life when I felt unseen in work, in relationships, even in my own family, I beat myself up over something that I had no control over.
• 2:13
  Kathie (2): Workplace trauma and being stuck in a corporate job that was run and dictated by rules and regulations that did not align with my core values.
• 2:25
  Kathie (2): That pain sometimes came out sideways.
• 2:29
  Kathie (2): Frustration, defensiveness, shutting down.
• 2:32
  Kathie (2): But really it was grief.
• 2:35
  Kathie (2): Grief for not being acknowledged or held.
• 2:41
  Kathie (2): You know, Ted isn't perfect either.
• 2:43
  Kathie (2): He's dealing with panic attacks and loneliness, thousands of miles from home.
• 2:48
  Kathie (2): He wants to help but doesn't know how to face Nate's pain.
• 2:53
  Kathie (2): Sometimes leaders, parents, friends, pull back when they're overwhelmed, not because you're unworthy, but because they're drowning too.
• 3:05
  Kathie (2): This is huge to remember.
• 3:07
  Kathie (2): When someone doesn't show up for you, it's not always about you.
• 3:12
  Kathie (2): I felt something similar recently.
• 3:14
  Kathie (2): There was a moment when I really wanted support from my partner, Eddie.
• 3:18
  Kathie (2): At the time, it felt like he wasn't there for me and it stung.
• 3:23
  Kathie (2): But once I stepped back, I could see he was working through his own stress.
• 3:28
  Kathie (2): It wasn't about being unimportant, it was about him trying to cope with what was on his plate.
• 3:35
  Kathie (2): That shift in perspective helped me move from hurt to compassion.
• 3:40
  Kathie (2): This isn't just about coaches and players, it's about all of us.
• 3:45
  Kathie (2): We wanna belong.
• 3:46
  Kathie (2): We want our growth to be celebrated, not ignored.
• 3:50
  Kathie (2): We sometimes fail each other because we're busy surviving our own storms.
• 3:55
  Kathie (2): Think about your workplace, your friendships, your family.
• 4:00
  Kathie (2): How often do blowups.
• 4:02
  Kathie (2): Trace back to unseen pain.
• 4:05
  Kathie (2): It's so easy to label someone angry or toxic, but if we pause, we might find heartbreak underneath.
• 4:15
  Kathie (2): Another tough truth sometimes where the Ted, someone around us feels unseen and we don't realize it.
• 4:23
  Kathie (2): Maybe we're wrapped up in anxiety or just trying to hold ourselves together.
• 4:29
  Kathie (2): I feel that.
• 4:31
  Kathie (2): But it's worth asking who might need a word of encouragement from me who could be wondering if I even notice them.
• 4:39
  Kathie (2): And on the flip side, if we're Nate, can we find the courage to voice the hurt before it festers into rage?
• 4:49
  Kathie (2): I'll be honest, this show has mirrored my own healing journey, feeling misunderstood by loved ones.
• 4:57
  Kathie (2): For example, I've been building something new and sometimes it feels like people closest to me don't get it.
• 5:04
  Kathie (2): Yeah, that's the life of an entrepreneur and that hurts deeply, but I'm learning to feel the pain without letting it turn into bitterness.
• 5:14
  Kathie (2): When I watch Nate Lash out, I see my younger self, the part of me that long for recognition and safety, and when I watch Ted Stumble.
• 5:24
  Kathie (2): But keep choosing kindness.
• 5:26
  Kathie (2): I see who I'm becoming.
• 5:28
  Kathie (2): Someone who doesn't have to be perfect to love.
• 5:32
  Kathie (2): Well, the Pyramid of Success, John Wooden's famous framework, usually ends up with competitive greatness, but the show flips it.
• 5:44
  Kathie (2): The top isn't dominance.
• 5:47
  Kathie (2): It's relationship and trust.
• 5:49
  Kathie (2): That's the message.
• 5:52
  Kathie (2): Success isn't about climbing over each other.
• 5:54
  Kathie (2): It's about connection, compassion, and humility.
• 5:58
  Kathie (2): Even when it's messy, here's what I'm taking away, and maybe you can too feel before you fight.
• 6:07
  Kathie (2): Pause and ask, what's underneath my anger?
• 6:10
  Kathie (2): Am I hurt, lonely, scared?
• 6:14
  Kathie (2): Work through that journal it.
• 6:17
  Kathie (2): Reach out if someone's pulling away.
• 6:20
  Kathie (2): Check in with love before resentment grows.
• 6:23
  Kathie (2): That one is helpful, and be human in leadership.
• 6:29
  Kathie (2): Whether you lead a team, a family, or just yourself.
• 6:33
  Kathie (2): Remember, people need to feel seen, not just managed, and forgive yourself when you miss it, Ted.
• 6:41
  Kathie (2): Missed it with Nate.
• 6:43
  Kathie (2): You'll miss it too.
• 6:44
  Kathie (2): Repair matters more than perfection.
• 6:49
  Kathie (2): If you're navigating tough relationships, building something new, or simply feeling unseen, you are not alone.
• 6:56
  Kathie (2): Anger is human hurt, is human and healing is possible.
• 7:02
  Kathie (2): Ted Lasso shows us we can fail and still choose kindness.
• 7:07
  Kathie (2): We can hurt and still choose to love again, and when we feel unseen, we can learn to see ourselves first.
• 7:16
  Kathie (2): I'm super excited to explore more Ted Lasso lessons with you because great storytelling helps us grow.
• 7:24
  Kathie (2): If you wanna come along on this journey, make sure you subscribe and hit the bell so you don't miss the next episode.
• 7:37
  Kathie (2): Check the links in the description below.
• 7:39
  Kathie (2): Too many new things are coming in the pipeline to you.
• 7:44
  Kathie (2): Alright, that's my episode for today.
• 7:46
  Kathie (2): I trust that you found it helpful.
• 7:48
  Kathie (2): And if you know someone who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 7:52
  Kathie (2): And until next time, I'll see you next time.
• 7:55
  Kathie (2): Peace out and namaste.