Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep29: Nick tells the story of his 3rd-worst neighbor; Evelyn shuts down Christian comedy hour.

Transcript

Ep29: Nick tells the story of his 3rd-worst neighbor; Evelyn shuts down Christian comedy hour. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's revolution.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are we doing an episode today?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: We better be.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do an episode.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Should we lead in?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's let's do it.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to lead us in?
• 0:16
  unknown: Okay.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'll give my drummer back.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I was I was ready.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: I was right in there.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: I was already I already started.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the reverse jackass.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone, this is a podcast in case you were thinking you were turning on the television.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: But you have in fact booted up a podcast and specifically the reverse jackass podcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: With me as always is my friend from the West, Nick Bogner, over there, over there in California.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Nick, say hi to the people.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, people.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's great to be here.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: He's lying.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but I'm not.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: I would never lie to you.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: So today is a Nick day.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: Take us away.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So this is this is gonna be potentially a three-parter.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna I'm gonna do part one, or shall I say part three, and then I am going to see if I want to continue telling these stories.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: But the the title of today is the third worst neighbor that I ever had.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and this neighbor is currently my neighbor.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Does he listen to this podcast?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh don't know.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't care if he did.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think he's one of the magic four, but uh if he's if he does, hello.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm not gonna use his real name.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, I'm in a I'm in an office building, which you've seen in Pasadena.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of a larger building that has some storefronts, and the storefront closest to the sort of corner of the building is a restaurant storefront, and it's housed two different restaurants that have failed since I've been here because restaurant business is really hard to do, and it's one of those things that everybody thinks they can do, and you actually have to be incredibly astute and hardworking, thrifty, have a great concept.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like nothing can go wrong if you have a restaurant because the margins are so incredibly thin, right?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a space that many have tried, many have failed.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then more recently within the last year, my new neighbor moved in and we'll call him Paul.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, Paul.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Paul opened a restaurant and it was a few months before it opened up.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it finally opened up.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if if you don't already know this about me, Evelyn, I really prioritize relationships professionally and personally, and I really try to make sure that I start a good relationship with anybody in my life that is gonna be important or that I'm gonna come up against a lot.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, like when I signed my lease for this office, I brought in cookies that I had baked to give them to my landlord.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I try to learn things about people, and you know, people can call that manipulative, but it does come from a good place.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I really want there to be a positive relationship between me and the people around me because we all stand to support each other, we all could support each other, we all could hurt each other.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So when Paul moved in, hold up, um, hit me.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Hold up.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: You can't just rattle that off and not expect me to ask if that applies to everybody.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like we've known each other for a number of years now, and I'm just wondering, when does the green light when, like, when are basically where are my cookies?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I guess my question for you is when do you think they would have been here by now if they were going to be here?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: At which point, yeah.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: At which point would you expect that I would be kind to you if I were going to be kind to you?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Would it have already passed?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to remind everyone I just once again want to tell everyone that Nick is a good therapist.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's just I think I get that.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is true.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I get that from people in my personal life all the time.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I get the the shocked disbelief that I could be an empathy professional.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that stuns me because while I know I I can be a little prickly and I like to break balls.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't break anybody's balls in the therapy room for God's sakes, like ever.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, if you did, you'd be charging twice as much.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's right.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's not a that's literal.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: But no, though, you you know what, in all seriousness, I am not incredulous that you are an empathy professional.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: I was just yanking your chain.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: You were too you were just on too high of your horse.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: I did have to just bring you to, and that's metaphorical because I know you're scared the horse will bite your face off.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I just had to just weigh you down a little bit here.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what I want to say is that's not me being high on my horse.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's a strategy.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's a I want I want things to be good and smooth and convenient for me in my life.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I put in extra work to make sure that I put a good foot forward.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like a I'm so bleeding heart with empathy for the world that I just make sure.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm gonna deal with my landlord at least once a month for the rest of the time that I'm here.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want it to be good.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna deal with my neighbors all the time.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna see them.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm and you know, and it it's good.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a nice thing because most people are really nice.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, sometimes they become genuine friends, and that's really cool too.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes they don't become genuine friends, but they're really wonderful.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or sometimes, like the lawyer above me, I don't know her very well at all, but she's really nice.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when we all needed to come together to fight Paul, she was there.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I love it.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so if that is an adequate explanation for you, then I will launch into Paul's transcribe.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: But I would love to hear your story.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: I just I don't want to keep going on this point because it's just more editing for me.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So please just get into your story, make it quick.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Realize that I have a huge power to leverage here that I never realized I had before, which is that it which is that if you start getting off the path, I can start adding nonsense into the podcast.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's totally good.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just start singing copyrighted songs.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you totally could.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then have to have to empty them up.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: But I have the ultimate power here, and that is the end meeting for everyone button on Zoom.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the nuclear option as the yeah, that's right.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, tell us about Paul.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Paul's side door to his restaurant opens up into the main pathway, and there's a as you know, there's a long pathway with plants on either side of it.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's gorgeous that goes into my office building, and it's effectively the front door for us who work in the back part of the building, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can't go to my office without going down this, you know, 75-foot-long corridor that's probably 10 feet wide that has plants on either side and is gorgeous and shady and ivy walls and stuff, right?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: So Paul decided that Paul wanted that to be part of his seating area.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And he he started by turning it into his break room.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: So suddenly there were stools and suddenly there was a big old ashtray, despite stringent non-smoking laws in California, which I don't that actually didn't bother me because I like the smell of cigarette smoke, but it was not great to have people have to walk through the smoking corridor to have to come to my office for their therapy.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then his employees would be out there watching YouTube on their phones at top volume and eating and shit.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And again, that's not the worst thing ever, but it's not my favorite thing.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's this beautiful, peaceful space, and to have it have a bunch of noise, like YouTube noise and cigarette smoke and stuff, is you know, it's not a sports bar, right?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So Paul decided he wanted to take it a step further.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And Paul bought, I don't know, 10 huge tables and umbrellas and and and like furniture it, like turned it into a dining area.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a real problem because number one, it looked bad, and number two, it took up all the space.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So trying to walk through the corridor was a was kind of a disaster.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, one of my neighbors like actually couldn't get through the corridor because at one point Paul hosted a huge private event and his guests wouldn't let her through.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So she had to like find a contrived way to get into the to the building for this thing.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So this really started to mount.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we all got together and we complained to the landlord, and the landlord said, I can't believe he's doing this.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: He tried to rewrite his lease twice to include that as part of his seating area, and both times I said no, and we changed it, and now he's just gone and done it.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa, okay, okay.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, thus started a large thing, which I will spare you the details of that was the landlord started getting into it with Paul.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: According to the landlord, they had multiple shouting fights.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: We ultimately had to get the fire marshal involved because Paul wouldn't back down and the area is not zoned for that.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So the fire marshal got in and fined him, and then Paul had to get rid of all the tables and chairs.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Paul's a little passive aggressive.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to say, when Paul came in, I made it, I went out of my way to patronize his restaurant several times.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And to tell people about it, I sent my employees in there.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I really tried to send him some business to begin with, and I was really nice and you know, went in and like tried to support his business because I wanted him to know I wanted him to succeed.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so Paul, who is a real man, confronted my female neighbors about it, but never said shit to me about it.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, the mark of a real man is when he just glares at you, but he confronts your female uh counterparts.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then Paul started just putting his trash out there.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So to walk past it now, no more tables.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's boxes of fryer oil, broken down cardboard.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: He started putting cigarettes out, and the planters um just started to really like trash up the place pretty bad.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went to the landlord several times, and the landlord always dealt with it, and then Paul would just leave his shit out.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Paul didn't listen to the landlord at all.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, the other night, I was walking home and there was a cardboard box.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: I guess the landlord did get the fryer oil away, but then more stuff started to come.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: So the other night I'm leaving the building, and here's this cardboard box with a trash bag of shit in it.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I walked past it, and I thought, I'm gonna text the landlord.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought, that hasn't done shit recently.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Paul is just ignoring him.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, you know what?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an adult.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go talk to Paul.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I walked into Paul's restaurant.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: This was last week.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I walked into Paul's restaurant and Paul was there.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: He had three customers because the other thing is it's not going so hot for Paul.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So part of this is that I probably just need to wait six months and he'll be gone.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: But like he's there talking to one of his customers, and so I sort of stood in the doorway and made eye contact, and he gave me a little nod, and then he to acknowledge me, but then he talked to his customers for about two more minutes while I stood there, and then he finally came over to see me and I summoned him outside of his restaurant because I didn't want to have a big confrontation with him.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I did actually want to have a big confrontation in front of his customers, but I resisted the urge to have a big confrontation in front of his customers, and I pulled him outside and I said, Hey Paul, um, good to see you.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he he glared at me because we're past the pretenses of him trying to be friendly, even though I'm really trying to be friendly.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Hey, I there's some trash back there, and I'm wondering if you would be willing to move it.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes, What trash?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh, I'll show you.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I brought him back around to the back of the building and I showed it to him.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And he looks at this cardboard box with a garbage bag in it and goes, That's not trash, that's wine for my business.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know about you, Evelyn.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I worked in restaurants for a lot of years, most of which served wine, and it was never delivered via trash bag.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know if he brought it from home.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what his deal was.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't ask any questions.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to give him the golden road to be able to retreat.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of saying, Wow, ding dong, you get your wine delivered in a trash bag inside a cordboard box.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I should summon all of your customers out here to see where their wine comes from.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Oh, well, would you mind moving it into your business?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is kind of the front doorway for my office.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Okay.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And there hasn't been shit out there since.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's been four days.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: But my new plan is to just go talk to him every single time.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Every single time.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or possibly to throw shit out.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see where it escalates to next.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my third worst neighbor ever.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: So my question for you, Evelyn, is what is the hardest conversation you've ever had to initiate with somebody that you'd be willing to talk about on this podcast?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's really, really good.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: The hardest conversation I've ever had to initiate with someone.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've told you before that I think myself terrible at having difficult conversations.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's a really hard thing for me to do.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe the having a hard conversation itself is not difficult.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's more like the how do we start that?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: How do we get that ball rolling?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: I really struggle with that because how do you start that conversation other than we need to talk?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like there are other ways, but maybe I just didn't learn them or didn't know them.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: So it's something I would say that I am I am working on.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe I don't, I actually don't know if I have an example for this.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Tight.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Some folks have some neighbors are frisky.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are angry.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even remember the words to our song.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I do.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: I hear it every time I edit it.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want me to jump in here?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's fine.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's fine.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have one.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I was working at a school and I often would stay Okay, great.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love these little I love these little simple sentences because they sound like the blues.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I worked at a school.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was good.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: That was really good.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I would often stay late and get my work done.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: I would stay after school for a long time.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: And at this point, I was teaching English.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: I was in a longer hallway.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: I like that both of our stories have longer corridors as a part of them.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt no need to lock my door because there were always a few teachers floating around.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not talking I was working until like 10 or 11 at night.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking until maybe like four or five, right?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: But isn't that like 10 or 11 at night for teachers?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is actually.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like every teacher out there like I wake up at 2:30 in the morning every day and then I'm in bed by 6.35.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: We're basically like the same time as early morning radio hosts.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: We carry that same schedule.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, so the bell would ring at 2:38.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not kidding.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: That was the exact time the bell would ring, and I would stay there until, you know, four or five or six, getting my stuff done for the next few days.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was working in there once, and there were two teachers at the school, one who was there uh more permanently, and one who was just doing like a short-term, like a year-long coverage from someone.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's important to know that both of these are were like I was probably in my early mid-30s at this point.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: I was no older than 35.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: And these two, these were grown men who were probably well over the age of 50.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: So, and it's important to tell that these two men were Christian and white, and one of them led the Christian Students Association at our school.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: This is going great.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was working late one night.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: My favorite thing to do was turn the big lights off in my classroom, and I had a lamp on my desk.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: It was really cozy.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: I had a lot of windows.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: I loved it in this English classroom.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so I had I had the door open, like it was nobody, or maybe I had the door closed, but it wasn't locked, and I had some nice music playing.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: I was marking.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: And this other teacher, the non-permanent teacher, comes in.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna call him Ted.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: And Ted comes in and just starts with some small talk and then starts asking me very religiously specific questions.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh right.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: And and it had a sense of kind of grilling me in a way.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was that kind of, oh, are you uh what do you think about this?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, do you think this is my well, and then starting to like kind of even paint me into a corner and keep in mind that it's after school hours, minimal staff.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: I am a woman alone in a room with a man at this point, and there's really nobody else around.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is going great so far.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: So in my head, I'm just thinking, you know what, just be calm.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like he was not getting physically aggressive or anything like that, but I found the conversation very strange.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: A few minutes later, the other, I'm gonna call him Bill.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Bill and you're gonna fuck up Bill and okay, it's really nice.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: A few seconds later, after this conversation was really getting to the point where I was saying, like, I don't know what to tell you, Ted.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I don't know.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: I I I think this is just really grossly inappropriate.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's grossly inappropriate.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: Bill comes around the corner and was like, Gotcha! And Bill and Ted had plotted this thing together.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: These two strapping Christian men had plotted this quote big joke that they thought was so hilarious.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: And they were like, Oh, it was a joke, Evelyn.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: It was a joke.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: And it had scared me so much in that moment because I was like alone, and these two grown men, these two older men, are like, we're gonna play this really funny joke about being a Christian because they also know I am, and so it was this weird, weird quote unquote joke.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: I want to your face is so great right now, but there's more to this story because I haven't told the conversation yet.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: I want to insert your reaction here.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have any thoughts?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what's the joke?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think they were trying to.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, this isn't the joke, but I think the purpose of this was trying to get me to feel like I had to defend my faith or something like that.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like something like that.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was like an intimidation thing.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it kind of was like the kind of thing, it's it's interesting because in a different context it could be sort of funny.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like saying something awkward, like like putting on the putting on the the interrogation lights, like putting people off balance is a little is can be kind of a sense of humor thing.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Totally context of in the dark after hours at school with two older dudes and a female colleague is really, really fucking and religious, like like the whole religious unlike I almost didn't say I said over undertones, but there was nothing under about this.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was like that just tones.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: So it really shook me.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: I was really kind of in the moment, like, like not really knowing what to do.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they left.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: They were all like slapping high fives and thought they were the funniest guys ever.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: And so I locked my door and I put like the the code red cover over my window in the door and just kind of sat there and I was like, I can't believe what just happened.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: I probably texted a friend of mine and I was like, This is so weird.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, I have to say something to Bill because Bill was known for overstepping boundaries, he's the one who ran the Christian Students Association, and he would, you know, talk to me about scripture in the photocopy room and like he would tell me that you know things were really going downhill, just oh, you know, like all of these really bad things.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: Our school was mostly Muslim, and so he had a huge beef with that.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like that was a big problem for him, and so he would often say these things to me and just be like, you know, Islam, Islam is the real problem.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, oh my gosh, you're at the wrong school, dum dum.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Whoa, except he thought that's that was meant to be because he he was also the he was known, he was really good at chess, and so um he would often challenge, he had this thing at lunch, it was like chess for lunch with Mr.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Bill, and Mr.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: Bill, he would play like 10 chess games at once, just like kids would be playing.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: But if ever like a Muslim student came up to him and said, Do you want to play chess with me?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Mr.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Bill, he would say, I'll play chess with you if and if I win, you have to give me five minutes of your time after.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then he would share the gospel with them.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um is that permitted in oh, this every principal I had had a problem with it.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like everyone was trying to do stuff.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know how that he's retired anyway, but it was insane.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: So this guy was a permanent fixture.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: He asked if I'd come in one day.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: This was before this, come in to the Christian Students Association at lunch and speak with, like, you know, the three kids that were in there in a Muslim school.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, you know what?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: I I thought, you know what, it's important for those kids to see someone normal, non-crazy, yeah.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I would go in, like I would go in and meet with them and and just chat a bit.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I remember the first time I came in, he asked me, he's like, So, Evelyn, the the conversation we're having today is about marriage.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think that um marriage a marriage should reflect Christ and the and his church?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember thinking, these kids are 14.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck are you talking about?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: These kids are 14.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh my gosh, like this is wild.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so that's Bill.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I why is it I don't know the answer to this, but why is that why is it that people there's a certain kind of person who leads in with, do you agree with?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: They they start with some premise that's gonna lead you to some place where they want you to change your mind, but they try to start with something that that like they know you're gonna agree with, and then they try to and then they try to stick it all the way through you.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Fucking weird.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: It it's it's the worst.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: And this this was a very challenging person to have on staff for me.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be honest.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: For for many others.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: For everybody, for Jesus even Jesus was like, honestly, oh, I don't love this guy being my shield bearer out there.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: There were times when Mr.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Bill would get me like again in the photocopy room, because the photocopy room, one of them was equidistance between our classrooms, so the chances of me meeting him were great, you know.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: He quotes scripture, and I would be like, Yeah, so Mr.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Bill, my main question here is where is the joy we're supposed to have?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have any of that kicking around?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and I would call him on that because I would be like, if we're showing anybody anything, is that not what we're supposed to?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: A little bit of what we could bring to the spaces that we're a part of.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, but then he he would often call me a bleeding heart or I was a mercy.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: He would call me a mercy.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I don't like the sound of that.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: I like the sound of being merciful and having a heart, a large heart, but I don't like the way you're saying this about me.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this doesn't sound nice.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, that's Bill in this story.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: Ted was of similar mind, and they became fast friends when Ted came to the school for the year.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: So the conversation that I initiated, because I decided I didn't like that.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't like that that happened.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: What a decision.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, as we've talked about, my past with men is often just taking it.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: You want to act like a total psycho in Canadian tire?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'll walk in there with you, right?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: Or on a podcast, yeah.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: You want to start a podcast with some kind of inmate at some kind of in high levels of psychoses?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'll sit.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, that's great.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Fine.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Let me let me edit it and produce it and get out there.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: So one day during lunch, I went to Mr.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: Bill's classroom.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: There was nobody in there.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there was, and then they had left.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: They were doing some kind of like study or homework or something.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I actually probably said, Can I talk to you for a minute?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like I probably did that, right?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: And he was like, sure.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I'm just gonna close the door for a second here.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so I closed the door and I said, That was ever.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: If you ever, then I got out my brass knuckles and I and then I got out the saxophone and I said.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, make a stop, make a stop.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I said to himself in your own casino, you were like, you can have the brass knuckles or you can have the saxophone.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: Pick.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Pick.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Pick.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can't decide, I'm going to use them both.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's how it's going to work here.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I said to him, that was completely unprofessional.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: I said, You're going to be lucky if I don't go to the union about that.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: I said, This is not something that we do.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: You do not do that after hours.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: And from one person of faith to another, we do not do this to each other.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: This is not how we treat other people.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: I said, now taking that out of there, we don't treat other people like this.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't ever want to talk to Ted again.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: I said, I don't want to have anything to do with that man for the rest of the school year.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want an apology.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to hear anything from this person.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then I said, I don't want any more conversations in the photocopy room because quite frankly, I don't trust you anymore now.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I said, You yeah.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so I said, You don't get to do that.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: You don't get to do that to me anymore.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I said, Is there anything else you'd like to say here?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember what he said.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: It was probably something like, Oh, well, that wasn't the intent.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was just a joke.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: You were like, I don't want to hear anything from you anymore.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something you want to say?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then just watch his head ping back and forth through the wall.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: When someone starts to talk, and then I'm like, shut up, right?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: Then you just stop talking.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Not my not my tempo.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I felt very empowered in that moment because I knew I was right.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: I often have a lot of self-doubt.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's easy to have self-doubt in those kinds of situations, I know, right?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: But it was a matter of you can't do that.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I probably spelled it out for him.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the optics of it look really bad.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a woman, two guys come in, my room, I'm doing my thing, and you you corner me in a conversation, and then you're like, oh, it's a joke, and then you're like chest bumping all the way out the door.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: What are we doing there?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: I this is a serious story, and I don't want to make light of it.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: But the visual of these guys chest bumping all the way out the door is incredible.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: The notion that they maybe were maybe like walking sideways out the door so they could keep like, yeah, yeah, you know, two steps left.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: And one person, one person bumping a little too hard, so the other one kind of just steps, you know, loses their equilibrium.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's kind of what's that metaphor.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, a lot.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot about this as a metaphor, let me tell you.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: So um, yeah, Mr.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Bill, I haven't talked to Mr.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: Ted at all since then.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: That was years ago, and I never would.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: He's in a different school now.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I'm sure to tell people to be careful around him.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then Mr.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Bill is long retired.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: So there you go.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: So that's the that was the hardest conversation.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: But it didn't feel hard in the moment.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think because I was really angry.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was I was so angry about that.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and it was so plainly, so plainly bad.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a there is a certain level of comfort in when somebody steps over the line so hard that any ambiguity that they might have wanted to hide behind disappears.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like you just you have them dead to rights and you can really really talk to them about that.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's that's fucked up.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's a fucked up story, Evelyn.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's really messed up.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: But let's talk about for a couple seconds leading up to this.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like these two guys, unbeknownst to me, are probably just like chatting in the staff room.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, you know what we should do?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it'd be really funny.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great question.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's really interesting, and it's it's something I get, and I don't know how I get it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not it's the wrong thing to do, but it's something that in my much younger years I might have done.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: There is a certain level of humor of like making people uncomfortable that people really like, and that and that sort of bully people really like, and that men really like in a lot of instances, because I don't think we'll hear a ton of stories of women doing that to one another or to men, but like it's a very sort of male thing, but it's also something that you need to be well past by the time you're Mr.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Ted or Mr.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Bill's age, and also something where like you can't do it at work and you can't do it in the dark, and you can't do it after hours, and like there's a there's like a there's a million problems with it, but this is like the worst application of something that nobody should be applying to start with, you know?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think you would have done it to someone like would you have done it to someone like me?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think like I was not someone on staff that was seen as a target, as far as I know.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was respected, you know, and I know that's me wondering what my behavior did in this situation, and it probably had nothing to do with it.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: But like, wouldn't there have been a better target that they would have gotten a rise out of?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: Or like I often wonder that.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like, they could have gotten it.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think you do you know, I think you do it.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is fucked up.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think you do it to people you like.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean like maybe romantically, but also just like people that you just like that you I think there's people that don't know how to be close to people.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been this guy for sure, where you don't know how to be close to people without picking on them, and then hopefully you either get old enough to stop doing it or you recognize the subtle art of only picking at people in ways that would that don't make them uncomfortable.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like so, like the you know, you and I have a seasoned history of breaking balls.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope, and I would apologize if I've ever violated this, I'm really trying to never make fun of anything that I think would actually hurt you, which is why you know, pronunciation of words and shit like that, just meaningless dumb stuff.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna break your balls all day about that.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm never like if I were in tune with anything that would actually upset you, I'm really gonna try never to talk about that, you know.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, you know.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll tell you that, well, we'll see.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's still time.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: The friendship is still young.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, since I let us in, would you lead us out?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're damn right I would.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: Folks, thank you so much for joining us on the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're here.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: We love you.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: We love that you listen.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: We hope that you'll tell all your all your friends who hopefully are as smart and as tasteful as you are about this podcast.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, Evelyn, say goodbye to the folks.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye to the folks.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye, folks.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you next time.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: Some neighbors are besties, others quarrel bitterly.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck together through geography.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's America's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's reversal.