Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 193 - The unaccepted apology

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 193 - The unaccepted apology · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
• 0:07
  a mastermindset, coach, creative strategist, and also happened to
• 0:10
  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
• 0:12
  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
• 0:16
  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
• 0:20
  some joy. Into the.
• 0:21
  World. So welcome to the coop and let's
• 0:23
  start your day off in a fantastic way, hey?
• 0:28
  Everybody, good morning. What do you do when you know
• 0:33
  that you have apologized, you have said what you needed to say
• 0:39
  to somebody sincerely? No, that's the key.
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  You've sincerely apologized and that person does not take your
• 0:46
  apology. And, and this could be for
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  anything. I'm not talking about a specific
• 0:50
  circumstance of something that happened, but let's just use the
• 0:56
  the thought process of I needed to apologize for something.
• 1:00
  And maybe you don't even think you needed to apologize, but you
• 1:03
  chose to apologize. And while those typically are
• 1:07
  two different things, I need to apologize or I chose to
• 1:09
  apologize, it's still going to fall under the category for
• 1:13
  today of apologizing. And the other person does not
• 1:16
  accept the apology or says, yeah, fine.
• 1:20
  And they're still pissy with you.
• 1:22
  They're still acting not right with you.
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  What do you do? Well, this is the part where we
• 1:28
  tend to get spun up where we tend to let our emotions go
• 1:31
  higher, higher, higher, higher, higher because we're trying to
• 1:34
  convince them or convince ourselves or do something, but
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  we're trying to push, push, push to have something show up a
• 1:40
  certain way. It meaning them or the
• 1:43
  situation. We just you know, you got to
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  understand. You got to understand because we
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  either want to make it right. And my guess is a lot of the
• 1:52
  people that listen to this podcast have the feelings of
• 1:56
  wanting to create harmony and wanting to make things right.
• 1:58
  So if they do something wrong, they want to apologize.
• 2:01
  Or if they do something that's disruptive to a situation, maybe
• 2:04
  they don't think they handled it great, but they probably don't
• 2:07
  think they're wrong. They still want to make the
• 2:10
  overall situation right. So they'll apologize and the
• 2:14
  other person doesn't accept it. What do you do?
• 2:17
  So my, my personal belief in this is there's nothing you can
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  do. If they won't accept the
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  apology, we cannot force them to do anything.
• 2:27
  It's just like having a cat. And I love using this metaphor
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  because it's the best one. I mean, I cannot force my cat to
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  do anything. I think we all know, like we've
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  got dogs. We say, oh, I can get the pill
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  down his throat. I can hide it.
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  I can do this. You know, I can get him to roll
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  over. I can get him to do things.
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  Cats are a different story, you can't get your cats to do
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  anything they don't want to do. That's why we have this love
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  hate relationship with them. I have a cat, I love her.
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  I also can't stand her when she smacks me and I get cut because
• 2:59
  she's half Siamese and sometimes for no reason, she'll just hide
• 3:03
  and hit me. And yes, that's a true story.
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  She is that way, Miss Bell, just the way she is.
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  But I can't force something in her.
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  But she needed hairball medicine.
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  But that's like we have to give her the hairball medicine.
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  OK, I try to give it to her. She won't do it.
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  He said put it on her paw, she'll lick it.
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  What does she do? She wipes the paw on the on the
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  couch. She goes right up and wipes the
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  paw on the couch. I can't get pills down her
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  throat. I can't hide them.
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  She doesn't like anything except her cat food to eat, and
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  occasionally she'll eat a little bit of Turkey.
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  If I chop it up very, very fine, she won't eat tuna fish.
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  She shakes her foot like it's disgusting and walks away.
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  And that's how you have to think of the other person, the cat,
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  that you cannot make it do something yet.
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  Sometimes when I'm sitting there and on the couch watching TV,
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  she will come up and want to sit with me.
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  She doesn't want to sit on me. She doesn't want, she wants to
• 4:00
  sit next to me. If I try to pick her up, she'll
• 4:02
  hit me, but she'll come and she'll sit near me, which is her
• 4:05
  version of love. Or I'm working on the computer
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  and she wants to sit between me and the computer and stare at
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  the screen. So I have to keep moving my head
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  left, right, left, right, left, right.
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  But that's her version of getting attention.
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  And that's what happens with other people.
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  You can't force them. You can't push them.
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  You can't make them be, act, think or do what you want them
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  to do. And it's the hardest lesson to
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  learn because they are going to be themselves.
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  And you in the meantime, have to take yourself and say, OK, I
• 4:36
  need to work on what I'm thinking about right now.
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  I need to work on my focus. I need to work on how I'm
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  acting. I need to work on how I'm
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  showing up. And that's it.
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  You need to circle the wagons, pull everything in and stay
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  completely and totally focused on you, nobody else.
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  You. That way you have the idea that
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  you I did the right thing. I said I was sorry.
• 5:02
  They have to process in their own time and you can't force it.
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  But you also can't torture yourself in the process.
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  You can't keep Luke looping over the situation and expect to be
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  OK and have a good day. Instead, you have to say when
• 5:16
  your your brain starts looping, you have to go, OK, look, I've
• 5:19
  handled it. I did what I did and I'm
• 5:21
  releasing it. I'm sending it off into the
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  universe to let the universe handle it because I have done
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  all that I can do and that's the best way to handle it.
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  So hopefully this helps you and hopefully you put it out in the
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  universe because it always handles it the best way.
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  And I hope you all have a blessed day and I will see you
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  tomorrow. Bye.