Latest / Imagine If with Doone Roisin | Health, Wealth & Wisdom for Women (formerly Female Startup Club Podcast) / 2024 REFLECTIONS & RESOLUTIONS

Transcript

2024 REFLECTIONS & RESOLUTIONS · Imagine If with Doone Roisin | Health, Wealth & Wisdom for Women (formerly Female Startup Club Podcast)

• 0:09
  Oh, hey, welcome back. Hello there. Welcome back. I don't know why I said welcome back. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the show, yeah. But not welcome back to you. You and I not welcoming back at all. We've been here. We're just saying hello. How are you doing? How's your week been? How's your week been?
• 0:29
  Oh my gosh, my week has been so great. My best friend has been in town. My godson has been in town and we have just been having the absolute best time. He's three, as you know. I've been experiencing firsthand what it's like to have a toddler in the house and I am like, oh, mama, this is a shock to the system.
• 0:53
  Yes. I'm like, how do people run businesses and children? I always tell my sister it's the best contraceptive. Oh my God. I'm like just so in awe of women who do it all because I just feel very overwhelmed thinking about it. And I know that a lot of people have that feeling that I'm like, but really? Like how? I don't understand. It just seems so crazy to me.
• 1:21
  And at the same time, it's such a joy, right? You look at life through a whole different lens. Like all these problems that otherwise seem really big in your head, you see it through the eyes of a kid and you're like, oh, this is what it's actually about. It's about having fun and it helps you focus on these things
• 1:38
  really core human things that make life worth living through the eyes of a little kid. And I love that side of it, but it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. But oh my God, there were so many cute moments. He'd be like, Auntie Dooney, and like, want to tell me a story? And I'd be like...
• 1:55
  Yes, I'm here. Tell me the story. Oh, my God. Melt. Yeah, so cute. It's a bit like a toxic relationship because the moment they say something like that or the moment they go to bed and it's silent in the house, you have half an hour of peace and then you start missing them. You're like, I kind of miss this little cute thing when you're around. Oh, my God. That's just so spot on and is like a toxic relationship.
• 2:22
  I was about to say love-hate. It's definitely not love-hate, but you know what I mean. Whole lot of love. Oh, man. How's your week going? What's going on? All good. I think I'm gearing up for the holidays. I'm in the UK, so we are heavy into holiday and gifting season right now. There are all the lights everywhere. You've got all the Christmas markets and...
• 2:43
  It's a nice vibe. I think I like December over here. It's kind of eases you into winter and it's cozy. Yeah. December in the UK is great. Exactly. I saw some crazy TikTok videos, though, of like hundreds of thousands of people in Oxford Street. You know. Yeah. London's intense.
• 3:05
  I'm like, was it that busy the last eight years that I was there? I don't recall it being that busy. I'm talking hundreds of thousands of people like packed into Oxford Street. I just didn't understand why there were so many people there. Have you seen that video? I think when you live there, you kind of avoid these things a little bit more. And it's very concentrated. And it gives a one-sided view in a way, right? I'm sure there have been days...
• 3:28
  over the last few years that have also been like that. But now we film it and we put it online and then that's your association with London for the near future. It's a bit like major off track, but the bedrock situation in Paris, if you spoke to people in Paris about that, it wasn't a thing, but it just goes to show how social media can completely skew your idea of something or the whole world's idea of something.
• 3:53
  You're right. Got it. Got it. But I'm sure, no, it is busy. It is busy in conclusion. I'm so excited about this episode. I feel like New Year resolutions, goals, it's like all the chatter right now. Yes. Where do you want to start?
• 4:11
  Exactly. So I think, I mean, I wanted to not jump into this typical new year, new me, just focusing on our big resolutions kind of thing, because I feel like it's something that, like you said, it's the conversation everywhere. Everyone's talking about it. And it's also something that hasn't really worked for me. And I don't know if that's the same for you. But when I look back at every year, and I try to, you know, really overhaul something that
• 4:39
  on the moment that New Year's Eve strikes around and I expect this new day to be a whole different person. It just hasn't quite worked. And I think, what do they say, over 90% of New Year's resolutions fail, something like that. Yeah, I'd believe it. And yeah, it's a big shock to the system. And I think...
• 5:00
  There's also something playing in my mind that if you should change something, you should just do it in the moment itself. And I think this is getting to be a lot of the conversation around now as well, where it's a season of change. There's a lot of kind of reflection going on the year that's been a lot of things that we are setting goals on for the new year, which I do think is important. But I read an article by Denise Woodard earlier this week from Partake Food. She's actually been on the podcast. She's brilliant.
• 5:30
  And I just love her take on this. And it got me thinking that New Year's doesn't have to be this complete reset of everything changing and this huge pressure thing, but it's actually just a continuation of everything we've been doing for the last X years that we've been on this planet. So her whole take is that you reflect and you take a note of the things that you want to carry with you into 2024. Yeah.
• 5:56
  over completely new things that you want to start because these are all things these are all seeds that you've already planted and things that you have a sense are serving you and work well for you and that you can take those things into the new year with you.
• 6:11
  I mean, that sounds healthy. That sounds like a good approach. I think, oh, what do I think about that? Sustainable. Let me ponder this for a minute. I don't know. I'm like such a, I actually do love a big juicy goal. There are some things that you've said just now that I'm like, yeah, totally agree. I have definitely been that person that sets the
• 6:34
  50 goals and achieves none and has this like huge long list of all these things, it almost sets you up for failure or sets you up to not even start because there's just too many things and you're trying to set too many new habits at one time and it's like too much pressure and kind of like you haven't set up the right kinds of goals. But having said that, I do love to choose, as you know, or you might remember, I've spoken about it a few times on the show
• 7:04
  definitely for work and like career. And I haven't done it really before, like set a really good goal, like one big personal goal. But I think I am going to do that for next year because I think I like finding that goal that it's going to take a year to get there. And it's going to be like taking that obsession and it's going to be like,
• 7:23
  you know, complete kind of like focus to chip away over time. And for anyone listening, there's two good examples I have of this. The first year we did the podcast, the goal for that year was just doing 100 episodes. And so I was like, okay, what do we need to do to get there? Let's chip away. And then the next one was...
• 7:40
  the book, which actually took longer than a year. But again, it was that kind of like big juicy project that you just can't do overnight. Like you just can't finish that very quickly. It just takes a long time. So I really like a practical goal that I can kind of have as a North Star that I work towards kind of obsessively for a year that I focus on. Because yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is like when it's like those 50 kind of things of setting new habits, like
• 8:10
  Going to the gym every day or whatever it is. I am not good with habit setting and I'm so phasy. So I need to be able to set the big goal, which I'll dip in and out of, but like still be obsessive about getting to the goal, if that makes sense.
• 8:24
  Absolutely. I think that there is, and it comes up on the show a lot, this idea of having a North Star in your business and something that you can focus on and reverse engineering that plan back to where you are now. And I do think that a year provides kind of a healthy timeframe for you to look at something like that and be like, okay, what are we going to do here? What are we going to do in these 12 months?
• 8:47
  Yeah. And I think you've got to be very kind of, I guess, practical about the goal because it's not about saying like, for me, I don't like goals that are very broad and vague. I'm going to get healthy. That's probably a bad example because of course that is a good goal essentially. But like, what does that actually mean? Like, how do you break that down? Like, how do you measure that? What's the success of that goal? There's nothing to measure against get healthy. Whereas if it's like
• 9:11
  you know, in the book or a hundred episodes, you can very clearly break it down by like step-by-step kind of actionable things that lead you towards that goal. They're the kind of goals that I like. Not that I have one to share right now. I haven't had enough time to ponder it because we are recording this in December. It's December 19. It's going to go live in January. We're going to have to do a follow-up episode with the goals, but I'm usually someone that like over the...
• 9:38
  holiday period will take a minute to, or actually take many minutes to ponder, reflect, and just really deeply think about what I want to achieve in the year. I think there's also something to be said for that in setting these micro goals in between, like you're saying with the book.
• 9:58
  I think if we have one big overarching idea, like you said, be healthy or see friends more, or our brains will almost trick ourselves into not doing that thing because it's not always going to be easy and you're not always going to feel like it. And if you then give yourself leeway,
• 10:15
  kind of by not defining that thing properly, we are going to just cheat ourselves. That's what our brains do. They like to find the easier way out. So to have these like micro goals in between and little victories and little moments that help you feel like you're still on track, I can see that being really valuable.
• 10:34
  I love that. You know, I heard someone do this. It was one of my girlfriends. She did this last year. And I feel like I've said I wanted to do this like so many years, but I just didn't actually get the thing started. But maybe it's a thing for next year. She has this like jar on her desk. And so she'll just put in a little like piece of paper when she like does something or achieve something. So like at the end of the year, I think she might have done it more as like a couple thing, like with her partner to go through all the cool things they did for the year.
• 11:03
  But I would do it maybe more like my like little wins on my desk for work. And then at the end of the year, you look back at all the things that you would have forgotten about that you've done and have this cool like, you know, micro moments, I guess, that you've gathered in a jar. And I feel like now that I'm thinking about this micro goal thing, I'm like, oh, that could be nice. Absolutely.
• 11:27
  Maybe a combo, like personal and work, like just chuck them all in there, all the good things. Yeah. Even all the bad things so that you remember really what happened in a year because you could ask me something I did last month and I will not remember.
• 11:40
  That's so true. And we have a way of kind of romanticizing the past, kind of only remembering good things and thinking, oh, everything was great in 2022. And you look back and you read back a journal that you wrote back then or you talk to a family member or a friend and they're like,
• 11:58
  No, it wasn't all great. Yeah, maybe that would actually be great for me because I'm not good at journaling as much as I want to. And instead of having to like express emotion and feeling, which I'm just not good at writing that down, and I can rather just express here's something that I did, more like factual, you know, I'll have more success and then I'll be able to look back and be like, oh, yeah, cool, I did that thing versus I just can't get into the habit of journaling and struggling with that.
• 12:27
  I love that. I love that. And I think even having that action attached to that moment helps you remember it more. Writing it down, even if it's simple, having that jar there, having some physical action involved will help you remember that moment in the future. I do really love this notion of what you're saying of like reflecting on what you want to take from this year and bring it into 2024. Have you thought about, like, have you reflected that?
• 12:56
  Yeah, absolutely. I think this time of the year is just super reflective for me in general. So I'm doing a lot of reflecting as the days are getting very short and it's dark a lot of the time. So I have put some things together. And one thing that came to mind kind of almost immediately when I look at this year compared to previous years is definitely a improvement in boundary setting and saying no in general. And
• 13:25
  I think we can all kind of cringe collectively when we look back at some of the backbends and awkward situations that you find yourself in, all in the name of being easy and accommodating. And I think I always made it a big part of my personality to be like, oh, she's so easy. She's so nice to be around and seeing that as a positive thing. And this is the first year that I've truly felt that
• 13:52
  boundaries and saying no has been of value to me. Whereas in the past, I think I could have said that out loud, but it hadn't quite sunk in the same way. And there was a moment a few months ago, I was visiting my parents in Amsterdam
• 14:07
  back where I grew up. And I think my mum had asked me to go somewhere for the day, but I was working. There was something like this. And anyway, it came down to it that she said, wow, I'm really impressed with these boundaries that you're setting. It was such a good moment of, yes, in the past, I would just do all the things. I would just say yes to everything and pride myself in being a yes person and being that friend that would always do the thing. And it doesn't serve anyone.
• 14:35
  at the end of the day, if you're doing that because you get burnt out, you get resentful to people for asking things of you, even though you're the one that's leaving that door wide open. So yeah, that's been a biggie that I really hope to carry with me into the new year. I'm going to copy that. I think for me, I also this year
• 14:56
  Really practiced saying no more often, no to things that just weren't aligned with the big picture, no to like calls or something. I think I've spoken about this on the show before. Like, I just feel like we take so many time for calls. Yeah, like there can be a lot of time saved. So I have said no to calls and just no in general more often. I'm also going to take that into 2024.
• 15:22
  Let's say no more often. Let's say no more often. And especially to things this leads into another point I wanted to make, saying no to things like your phone and screen time when it's not absolutely necessary for work. And I actually wanted to ask you about this because was it last week or the week before you were in a hut in the wilderness without any network and I haven't been able to ask you about how it was?
• 15:49
  Oh, my God, it was so good. If I have to think about a highlight when I'm reflecting on this year, it's absolutely this. So I went to this, it's this company called Unyoked, and the premise is kind of like they find plots of land that's like bush
• 16:06
  or trees, or just like total nature that's one to three hours away from metropolitan cities. And they put these tiny cabins, like eco-friendly cabins on them. And the cabins are all the same. So when you go on the website, the content is amazing. Like the way that they've done these, like kind of the design, like everything is just, I feel like it's just created in a way that's good for the soul. And so I lately have just been...
• 16:37
  Super overwhelmed, like that time of the year where you're just like you've reached a bit of a breaking point, I would say. So my husband and I, we went to the cabin. It's so crazy that I haven't spoken to you since then because I feel like actually now it feels like such a long time ago, but it really wasn't such a long time ago.
• 16:55
  But I went out there. It was three hours drive. It was just surrounded by the most beautiful bush. And I switched off my phone for 48 hours, which I've never done before in my life. And I did take photos, but I had it on airplane mode. And I literally didn't unlock my screen. I didn't check WhatsApp. I didn't check. I had no notifications. I just, I saw nothing. I was not advertised or marketed to. I was like just living off the grid for 48 hours, two nights. And...
• 17:25
  Wow, yeah. I'm like, we should all do that more often. That needs to be part of the routine because...
• 17:32
  Yeah, I don't know. Have you ever disconnected from your phone for two days? Yeah, I used to do it a lot. I used to kind of really plan things on a Friday evening that I would tell my family that if there was an emergency, they could contact XYZ number, and I would just turn my phone off until Sunday evening. Oh, wow. I haven't done it in a while, but I think over Christmas I'll do it again. I think, like you're saying...
• 17:59
  I don't know, the first couple of hours, you're still constantly checking your phone, even though there's nothing coming in, just because of that habit of picking it up, which I find scary to begin with. And I don't know, just this unplugging. It's a complete game changer. We hear about it a lot from kind of when we read tips from top CEOs, and we're exposed to a lot of these articles and podcasts.
• 18:24
  you know, five top habits I do for my company to be successful and da-da-da-da. A lot of the people that we admire will have somewhere in there that they turn their phone off
• 18:34
  at 8pm at night, and they don't turn on again until 6pm, or they have some kind of boundary with their phone. And I think that's just a good approach that we should be taking now. I think to have this supercomputer in your pocket where you're available at all times, like you're sending a message to yourself that's not necessarily healthy. So just to turn that off and not make that an option anymore and to set some boundaries there, I think it's super important.
• 19:03
  Yeah, absolutely. I'm pretty good with the whole not checking my phone in the morning, keeping it out of the room. But I don't know if I could actually do like 48 hours, like a whole weekend at home without my phone when you're in your regular environment. I think I would have like a bit of anxious obsession of needing to check my phone or something just for no good reason. But yeah, I'm just kind of like amazed at
• 19:27
  how much I was able to disconnect. And it took me like definitely the first night. It took me a while to unwind and just stop thinking about all of that and being more present in the moment. But yeah, I would say that's like on my...
• 19:42
  you know, regular rotation routine for my soul coming into 2024. And it's true what you're saying, like the addiction, the phone addiction thing, like I really have a problem with that. So I need to carry on these activities that help curve that addiction.
• 20:00
  Absolutely. And I think what's funny kind of in moments where I've done this is that I, you fall into a trap of thinking that you're super important, which you are and we are as humans. And, you know, there's important things going on and people need to be in contact with you. But then you turn your phone on at the end of 48 hours, you know, worried for all my poor friends that haven't been able to contact me. And it's one message from your mom. I'm like, oh.
• 20:29
  Yeah, I literally had that. I was like, yep, nothing happened. No, there was just no. Not that there's ever drama anyway. There's nothing ever urgent, but I had nothing like.
• 20:40
  I don't even think most of my girlfriends who I talk to daily even noticed. I told my best friend because she would 100% notice. And if I'm, like, not chatting for a day, she is, like, contacting PA being, like, what's happening? Why isn't Dune responding? Like, where is she? Is she okay? What's going on? But, yeah, it was just, yeah.
• 21:01
  It's just crazy. I just don't understand how you can be unaddicted to your phone. If anyone has any tips, please tell me. I am the worst, the absolute worst. Yes. I mean, to be fair to you, they are designed to make you addicted to it. Some of the smartest minds in the world have designed that thing for it to be addictive. So...
• 21:22
  Don't beat yourself up. That's true. We're all on the same boat. That's true. I had one more kind of new year related thing. It's just like a framework that I was thinking about. I've done it in the past, but someone was telling me there's and I'm going to think about doing it for next year. It's that concept of choosing the one word that you bring into the new year that helps kind of guide you and guide you.
• 21:46
  frame the year and bring awareness to your intentions. I love that. And so it's kind of like a quick exercise. You take a pen and paper, make two columns, and on one side you write down kind of the positives of the year that's just been, like the positives of the last year, and on the other side, and I guess this goes like off the back of what you were saying about kind of like reflecting in what you carry and what you cut, but then on the other side you kind of note down, you know,
• 22:15
  what you want to change and what you need more of in the year. And then you review the list of things that went well and think about how that made you feel and, you know,
• 22:27
  Yeah, what you want more of. And then you write down a handful of words that kind of describe how you want your year to feel and what you want to encompass. And it takes a while to like noodle over a bit of a list and then you whittle it down until you have just one and then you pop it, you know, somewhere in your desk or in your mirror that you can look at it every day as a reminder. And so it's kind of things like a few years ago, I think one of mine was focus and...
• 22:56
  And I mean, there's so many. You can even look them up online, like all the lists. But there's things like abundance or gratitude or forgiveness or connection or simplicity or adventure or calm or bold or whatever it might be. Yeah.
• 23:15
  I haven't done it in a while. Or Riz, which is the word of 2023. Have you heard this? No, is it? Oh man. It is. The kids these days. We'll be taking that into the new year. Yeah, I completely agree. What does it mean again? I sound like such a boomer saying that. I know what it means, but can you just remind me? It's a, I had to Google it last week, so don't worry. It's short for charisma.
• 23:43
  Right. Yes. Okay. Yep. Yep. Yep. Quite witty. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Word of the year. Gosh. Yeah. I love that. I love that idea of the word of the year. And I, yeah, I think ultimately...
• 23:56
  taking that moment of reflection, taking that moment for yourself and reflecting on what's been, what you want to take with you and really kind of getting into what's going to make you a better colleague, boss, person, partner, parent. That really helps you kind of step into the new year with confidence and direction and
• 24:20
  Yeah, I think that's a nice note to end on and move into our six quick questions of this episode. Are you ready? 100%. I wonder if we should do a follow-up episode with our thoughts after we've, you know, post-holidays. We should circle back. I think we should. Absolutely. Both for Female Startup Club and personally.
• 24:40
  I think it's going to be an exciting year. Yeah. Love that. Let's do it. Let's do it. So question number one, are you more of a texting, voice note, or calling person? Oh, my God, texting. I love to text. That's part of the addiction. I just want to be in WhatsApp texting and chatting. It's honestly insane. Definitely text. Oh, I love that. Question number two, what time of the day are you most productive?
• 25:11
  Mid-morning, I need a few hours to really wake up and have gone through the process of gotten outside, moved my bod, had a coffee, just gotten into my own groove and then had the cold shower or have the swim and then sit down and feel like I've just started my day right. And then I can start getting into a groove mid-morning, I reckon. Maybe like 11. Yeah. Yeah.
• 25:38
  Love it. What's yours? Definitely first thing, which I'm grappling with, because it's not the most practical when you want to... I'm trying to have a really good morning routine of, you know, lemon water. Got it right here. Bit of meditation, all of those... Oh my God, the elephant cup.
• 25:58
  Love that. I laugh every time I say that cup. And but I wake up and my brain is just wired. I have a list of all the things that I want to do that day in there. I am just full of action to get it done. And if I don't grab that moment, sometimes it dissipates a little bit and it's harder to pick that up again later. So yeah.
• 26:20
  What I'm doing at the moment is I wake up almost immediately, go on my laptop and do a few things because otherwise I know they're just in my head anyway. Get it out there. And then I have my real morning of breakfast, shower, meditation, all of that stuff around 10, a little bit later. That seems to be working right now. Yeah. Bliss. Bliss. What's your favorite place to be in the world? Question three. Okay.
• 26:50
  It used to be my grandparents' house. I just loved being at my grandparents' house. But now I would say, and this is coming off the back of Unyoked last week, it's just like in fully like bush immersion. Can't see anything, just a million trees around. Can't hear absolutely anything except birds and leaves and trees.
• 27:15
  fall nature or like the ocean equivalent, just like in the ocean, by the sea, sitting in the sand, especially if it's like peaceful kind of beach vibes, nature basically. Yeah, I love that. Back to the roots in some ways, right? Growing up in so much nature, I'm sure. Okay. It's new to that. Yeah, done with the big city life. Yeah. Question number four, I think I know this one, but summer or winter?
• 27:44
  Oh my God, summer. Not even a question. Definitely summer. Question number five. What's a cause that's important to you? Well, so many. What's a cause that's important to me? What comes to mind is...
• 28:03
  We've partnered with Malala Fund before that provides education to women and girls who, like, 12 years of safe, quality education for women and girls who don't have access to that in countries like Afghanistan and Pakistan and those kind of places. That's definitely important to me. I'm thinking about...
• 28:31
  Of course. There's so many. Domestic violence, assault of women, so many different things. And then what else? I would say, you know, a couple of years ago there was the bushfires in Australia and I got really, I had the jewellery brand at the time and I was really into...
• 28:49
  Raising money for one of the, I can't remember what the charity was called, but it was basically like money to help the animals, the native animals that needed rescuing, like koalas and stuff. Oh, man. Love that. Is that what you meant by the question? 100%. 100%. It'll have gone off in a million different directions here. Animals and women. Animals and women. Went busy brain.
• 29:16
  And question number six. Can you recommend one song that's guaranteed to put you in a good mood on any day? Oh, I mean, well, it's definitely coming from Justin Bieber, like any album. Could be the Christmas album to his first album. What is a definite? What is a definite? I really like that.
• 29:37
  Is it called Intentions? It's that song I used to like when I first started doing cold showers like a couple of years ago. Yes. I like had to play that song every morning to get through the cold shower for three minutes or whatever. So I love that song. That's the one. I love it. Are you playing the Christmas album already? Oh, hell yeah. Absolutely. December 1st. Like it's been on. Justin Bieber, Michael Bublé, Mariah Carey. I've just been cranking it all.
• 30:07
  Oh, so good. So good. On that note, I hope everyone enjoyed our New Year's Resolutions episode and that everyone had a great break themselves and that you're back in the swing of things. And, yeah, excited to be back. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe this is going to play in 2024. And we're there. Wild. We're there. Thanks for listening. See you next time. Thank you. Bye. Bye.
• 30:35
  Hey, it's June here. Thanks for listening to this amazing episode of the Female Startup Club podcast. If you're a fan of the show and want even more of the good stuff, I'd recommend checking out femalestartupclub.com where you can subscribe to our free newsletter. We send it out weekly covering female founder business news, insights and learnings in D2C, and interesting business resources.
• 31:00
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• 31:22
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