Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #476 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#476 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Now I've squatted and I've lifted, and as I've squatted
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: and lifted, I've heard this rip and I'm talking. It
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: was a big rip. And then I felt a breeze.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I split my pants And now.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Here's the stars of our show, my mom and dad.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: It's April Fool's Day.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: We're not going to do anything April fool ish because
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: we're just not that creative and we've got too much
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: pressure in our lives.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: We don't need the stress of it.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Unless you've got something for me, Kylie, any April Fools jokes,
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: come on, I'm expecting more from you.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I'm the fun one, aren't I. I'm not.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Established that.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I think that if you're a parent that hasn't done
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: an April Fool prank yet with your kids, maybe there's
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: an opportunity. I will say this though, babies that were
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: born yesterday, babies that were born on March thirty first,
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: they're the easiest to prank on April Full's Day because
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: they were literally born yesterday.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: That is so bad.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: You didn't like that, I thought that was really, really good. Okay,
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: I was doing my best. Hey did you hear about
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: the petrol station?
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: No?
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: I did not.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was an.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: April Fuels joke. Oh gosh, I'm not getting anything. Should
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: we just get on with the podcast?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I hope.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: So.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I was waiting for.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: You to say, Justin, did they name April Fools Day
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: in your honor or something like that?
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: But should we do it? I'll do better tomorrow. It's
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: the last.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: This is the last I'll do better tomorrow of term
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: one for anyone in Queensland. Queensland school holidays are starting
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: at the end of today. In fact, some schools are
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: already on a break. Kylie, I'm going to start with
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: out I'll do better tomorrow today and I want to
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: share just a couple of things for a little bit
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: of fun, if that's okay. The first thing is that
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I'll do better tomorrow. For those who are not familiar,
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: is where we talk about the mistakes that we make
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: as parents, all the wins that we have as parents,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: and how we can reflect on them and be better
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: as people, be better as parents. Last week I had
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: an experience that I forgot to mention on the podcast,
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: and it kind of fits here. It's not really a
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: parenting experience, but it's definitely something that I need to do.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Better with tomorrow. And here's what happened.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: So, as everyone knows, we've been going through this long
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: and enduring process of getting our house ready for sale
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: and selling our house and having it on the market
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: and all that kind of thing. And as part of that,
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: you're living an hour and a half away from me.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: You're on the coast. I'm on the south side of Brisbane,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: and I go and be with you and the kids
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: have two or three days every week with the family,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: and then I come back home so that I can
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: keep the house in order because the open houses mean
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: that the house has to be perfect and on all
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: that kind of thing. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago,
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I was up there on the weekend and came home
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: on Monday morning. I got up to get dressed so
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: that I could go and give some presentations, real life
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: presentations in front of real life people, no webinar, And.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: It sound like it was so exciting to be in
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: front of an audience that could interact with me so
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: I've put my nice, my nice formal shirt on, I've
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: pulled my slacks on.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: I'm looking really dapper. I've done my belt up, grabbed
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: my socks, put them on. I reached for my shoes
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: and I remembered that I left them on the Sunshine
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Coasts an hour and a half away, and I only
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: had forty minutes to get to the venue so I
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: could give my talk.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, what am I going to do?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: So what did you do?
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: You rang me?
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I rang your Do you think I'm an answer for you?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Do you think, first thing on a Monday morning, when
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: the kids are supposed to be going to school, that
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: you've got time to drive through peak hour traffic all
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: the way down the Bruce Highway all the way down
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: to the south side of Brisbane and get me my
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: shoes and maybe I can meet you somewhere and somehow
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: still make it to where I've got to go forty
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: minutes south of here. Like I don't even know why
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: I was thinking that that was a let's hire a
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: helicopter so I can get some shoes kind of idea.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: And so what I decided to do, thanks to your brain,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: was I took all the formal gear off. I put
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: my nice linen long sleeved shirt on, a pair of
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: shorts and my thongs, and I showed up. By the way,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: for those of you who are in America or from
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: anywhere other than Australia, when I say that I was
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: wearing my thongs, they go on my feet. They're what
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: you might call jandles. I don't know what else they're called, colie.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: What else do people call them other them thongs, flip flops,
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: flip flops, jandles, whatever it is in Australia. For those
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: of you who are international followers of our podcast, we
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: call them thongs. But they're not the kind of well,
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: let's just say that if you put the other kind
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: of thong on your foot, that would look kind of silly.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: This is I'm going to stop right there. So I'm
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: wearing thongs, I'm wearing shorts, and I'm wearing my shirt,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: and I present in the end, I threw my thongs
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: off and presented in bare feet and shorts to the
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: students and then to the staff. And I raced out
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: of the shops at lunch time and I bought some
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: shoes Kylie, and I popped my nice new formal shoes on.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I'd taken a change of clothes, and I looked just
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: the way I should.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: But that's not the end of the story, because if
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: that all the story isn't that would just be a
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: minor blip. The next thing that happened is while I
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: was at that venue, after I'd gotten my new shoes on,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: I was presenting in front of the group, and I
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: went to jump up onto the stage. I'd been down
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: on the floor, but there was a big enough audience
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: I needed to be up on the stage so I
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: could do something. I was getting somebody to interact with me,
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: and I wanted everybody.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: To see it clearly.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I put my hands on the stage, and I've jumped,
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: And because I'm kind of athletic and I like to
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: think that I'm somewhat strong, I've jumped. And that required
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: me to flex all of my muscles in my upper
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: body to jump high up onto that stage, and I ripped.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: I ripped my shirt. So now I'm presenting in front
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: of all of these stuff, And then that night, in
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: front of all of these parents with the shoulder of
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: my shirt in front completely torn because my chest, shoulders
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: and biceps were just too big for me to do
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: that strenuous work of.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Jumping up onto the stage.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: But wait, there's more. So I get home, I throw
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: that shirt in the bin. I put my new shoes
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: in the cupboard so that I don't have the problem,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: because the next day I'm going into Brisbane to Mansfield
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: State High School. It's got like three and a half
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: thousand students, really really well regarded school. They're doing a
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: great job, and I've shown up to give my talk
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: to the students that morning, five hundred and fifty grade
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: eleven students. I'm talking to them about their mental health,
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: their well being. It went so well, in fact, it
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: went so well that the recess buzzer went and I
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: was halfway through my last story of the talk. I'd
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: gone a few minutes over time because they started a
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: bit late, and five hundred and fifty year eleven students
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: sat didn't even give any indication of impatience.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: They were loving it.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: So I kept them in from recess for about five
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: or seven minutes so I could finish the story. But
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: then that night the parents came in. We had a
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: couple of hundred parents. It was a great group. I'm
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: putting all of my books back into the car at
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: the end of the night, and I've squatted like I'm
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: wearing my nice, my very fancy suit. I've squatted, put
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: my hands around the book boxes because I'm carying about
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: three of them in the way, about thirty five kilos.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I've squatted, and I've lifted.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: And as i've I've squatted and lifted, I've heard this
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: rip and I'm talking it was a big rip. And
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: then I felt a breeze. I split my pants. I
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: split my pants in front of all of the people
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: who'd stayed behind to help pack up. I split my
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: pants literally from my belt line all the way down
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: the back, almost almost to the back of my knee.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: It was like a forty to fifty centimeter split, just
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: decimated my pants.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Well, you've given everybody an awesome laugh for the morning.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: But I am wondering what that has.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: To do with pr What does it have to do
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: with parenting?
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because its about Sorry, I got so caught
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: up in the story, I forgot that there was a
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: parenting point here. Well, let me just read my notes
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: on my when I was thinking about what to share,
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: and I'll do better tomorrow.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Last night.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: I was laying in bed on my own eating some
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: durroughly white chocolate raspberry bullets.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Having some chocolate therapy.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I was laying in bed, sorry for yourself. This has
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: been a fairly revealing podcast today, hasn't it. Really.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: The thought that I had was buy clothes that fit. No, No,
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. My clothes actually do well. Maybe anyway,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: let's not go there.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: The thought that I had in terms of how we
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: can do better tomorrow as parents is life is full
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: of mishaps and mistakes, clothing rips, people lose their pants
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: or forget their shoes, and in spite of it all,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: we can still carry on. Life still works out if
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: we don't take things too seriously, if we don't lose
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: the plot and blow up, if we just laugh and say, oh, well,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I guess I'm going to have to buy a new
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: suit tomorrow. Somehow, it all just works out, And in
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: some ways that's reassuring. People are forgiving of the fact
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: that I forgot my shoes. People are forgiving of the
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: fact that my shirt tore or that my pants are broken,
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: and we can be the same with our kids when
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: they make mistakes. Sometimes we can just laugh it off
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: and go, I guess that stuff happens, and let's find
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: the humor. That's a really long way of saying, don't
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: take life too seriously if you can avoid it. That's
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: why I'll do better tomorrow.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Well, after the break, I'm going to share how that
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: information may have been helpful if I'd had it a
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: week earlier, Doctor.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Carlson, Your daughter just walked by, eyes glued to her phone,
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: expression unreadable.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You ask her to put it down, but she balks.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: You know it's not good for her, but you're not
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: sure why or how to support better choices. In the
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: webinar pixel Perfect, I joined with psychologists and teen tech
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: expert Jocelyn Brewer to discuss how to set screen boundaries
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: that work for you and your daughter. Check out pixel
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Perfect now on the Happy Family's webshop.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And I was
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: just thinking to myself, I wish i'd had your learnings
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: from last week a few days ago.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Are you taking life a bit too seriously lately? Are you?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Well? I didn't think I was, but the other night,
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Miss eleven decided that she was going to help out
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: with dinner and she was going to make pizza.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: You don't do well with this. I just said it publicly.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, but you're so good in the kitchen,
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: and therefore you have this high standard, right and things
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: have gone wrong.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Is that what you're going to say?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Well, I left her to do it, and I was
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: just I was feeling a bit under the weather, so
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I've been lying down and just you know, kind of
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: trying to deal with my headache. And I walked out
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: and what I saw I've never seen before. She had
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: covered the pizza base with her tomato past and instead
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: of grating the cheese, she had sliced the cheese and
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: stuck slices of cheese all over the top of the pizza.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: You're saying that like that's a problem. Who slices cheese
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: and puts it on a pizza?
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: That's what That's what the kids do when they do
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: cheesy toasts. They'd put a bit tomato sauce on the bread.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Exactly. It made It was literally like she.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Made she made cheesy toast on a pizza vase.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: And so I looked at her and said, what are
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: you doing? I said, why did you not grate the cheese?
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: And she car looked at me and she said, well,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: she said, I couldn't find the grater, and I just
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: thought I wouldn't bother you because I know you've got
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: a headache.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Going to be helpful, So she's used creativity and compassion.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, you don't have to make me feel any worse
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: than I already do. And so anyway, I just was like,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: you don't put slices of cheese on the pizza. And
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I stormed out of the kitchen and I made it
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: the whole five steps down the hallway to my bedroom
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: because we're in such a tiny space. And I got
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: to the bedroom door and I went, I can't believe
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I took that so seriously.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: So I stormed, you're having a bad day. So we
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: all have days like that, It's okay.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I stormed back into the kitchen and I said.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: You stormed back in.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: You're angry at you now, so you're going to storm
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: back into the kitchen to let her know that you're
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: angry at you.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: So I said to her, I said, we don't all
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: have to make pizza like mum. I don't mind that
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: you've done a sliced cheese pizza. Just next time, maybe
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: use the grade up. And then I stop back up
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: the bedroom, and then I went, I'm really getting this
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: so wrong. So I sat on the bed for a
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: few minutes and I walked back out once I'd calmed down,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: and I said, I'm really sorry. I completely overreacted, and
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: we were able to have a little bit of a
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: laugh afterwards. But I sometimes just forget to lighten up
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: and recognize that it doesn't have to be done my way.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Pizza is still turned out and they enjoyed it, and
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: it all got eaten.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Hang on a sec.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Are you saying that you just let the kids eat
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: the cheese pizza. There was no pineapple on it, there
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: was no mushroom on it, there was no anything on it.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Just cheese, just cheese, kylie.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Oh now see, now this is something that needs to
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: be taken seriously. Forget that they sliced it. It was
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: just cheese. I think that we need to have a
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: family counsel about this. We need to have a family
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: meeting and talk about how pizza should be made. This
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: what a wonderful story, What a great story. Take home message.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Lighten up. Yeah, there isn't one way to do a job,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: and more times than not, our children are going to
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: show us some really creative ways to do things if
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: we're open to it.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: And I love that she's just got this good heart.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: She didn't want to interrupt.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: You can't find the greater Mum's not feeling well, I'll
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: just find another way to do it.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I just such a great kid, such a great story.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: We sure do hope that the take home message from
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: today has been received loud and clear.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: It's going to be okay. Smile, you will get through it.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Even if the pizza is dodgy and your clothes are
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: ripped and falling off you.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: It's going to be okay.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Happy Family podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: If you're in Queensland, enjoyed the school holidays one more
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: week for most of the other states, and we can't
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: wait to be back with you with some of our
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: very best parenting tips from our favorite interviews over the
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: last couple of years. Starting Monday next week,