Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / The Enneagram Six and Certainty | A Six's Wholehearted Journey with Samantha Compton

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The Enneagram Six and Certainty | A Six's Wholehearted Journey with Samantha Compton · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: I think that as a six, we can also maybe imagine that we can somehow control the outcome.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: When I can give up control, I can leave room for joy.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: It really opened my six mind up to a new way of living.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: He hasn't counted us out, even with the way that we're wired from opportunities and things, ways to grow, and ways we can be part of his kingdom.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast, the Enneagram for Real Life.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Here is where you'll find conversations where faith meets story and strategy for lasting transformation.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Amy Wicks, here to help you find wisdom and wholehearted rhythms for moments that matter most.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're learning your type or deepening your spiritual formation, these conversations will remind you that the Enneagram shines a light, but Christ is the transformation.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I am so excited to continue to explore the Enneagram Six.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Last week, Deanna and I talked about the loyalty of a six, and even though their reputation for fear and anxiety is a front and center, really the six is courageous and brave and how much we just love our sixes.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: So today I get to have a conversation with a friend and wholehearted sojourner, Samantha Compton, who is going to give us insight what a six looks like in real life and what transformation can look like for a six as they do this wholehearted transformation journey.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, Samantha, thank you for being here and sharing part of your story today.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Amy.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love being here with you.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's such an honor.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's great to have an excuse to chat.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, though we live sort of down the road from each other, life has us both going very different directions.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's nice to go beyond the occasional text for sure.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: And anytime we can talk about Enneagram, I am all about it.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: You and me both, you and me both.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I want to go back to the very beginning, which is quite a while ago, not necessarily when you and I started our journey, but when you came across the Enneagram.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: So for you, what was it like to even hear the word Enneagram, but then to recognize some of the patterns that were outlined in the Enneagram six story?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: When I started hearing about Enneagram from some friends, I was kind of annoyed because I'm like, I'm really into personality types, I'm into understanding people.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'd taken Myers Briggs and I'd gone through the love languages and the strengths finder.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, I thought I knew all the things.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: And when my friends were talking about Enneagram, the language they were using and the way they were talking about it, I'm like, I don't get it.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I just don't get this.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so they would try to explain it to me.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then I even picked up a book and read it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I don't get it.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I don't see myself anywhere.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I saw little glimpses of myself throughout all the different types.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so it was just confusing.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it just made me mad because I didn't get it.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't understand it.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it seemed so complicated that I was like, I have time for this.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: So then I just got annoyed when they talked about it.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so I try to remember that when other people are around and I'm talking about it and they're not familiar with it.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: But that's um, I think when you and I first started chatting about Enneagram, first of all, I really wanted to understand it.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: So if you remember, I heard you on somebody else's podcast.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, actually, somebody just mentioned your name on their podcast as an Enneagram expert.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then I found out that you lived not that far from me.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, oh, I need to reach out to her.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: I need to understand this Enneagram thing.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: So we met and I had taken a number of tests, and as you and I know, those are not always very accurate.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so I kept testing out that I was either a three or an eight.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: And every time I would take this test, it would be a three or an eight.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I had never even looked at the six, it wasn't even on my radar, and so and it says fear is the thing that's connected.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'm not fearful, I'm courageous.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: So it did not connect to the six at all until you and I started talking.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was a beautiful moment to watch that unfold.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And even I love that you named the resistance to it, what immediately made you feel like an outsider, which touches on some of the fear for the six of not being part of that inner circle and not understanding what everybody else is talking about.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It feels displacing.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, good for us to remember when either we're talking about Enneagram to people who've not heard about it before, or when people are feeling resistant, don't just assume why they're resistant.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Stay curious.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ask why.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: What is it about this that feels off or just makes it not interesting or or tricky for you to understand?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think those are really great approaches when we're talking to people who aren't quite in the same camp we are right now.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously you've come a long way.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is many years forward.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we first started talking, I think in 21.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: So here we are, well over five years later, you've been on quite a journey when we finally kind of held the six as a possibility and you were trying it on.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: How did it feel to have some of the patterns in your life named or to see it in black and white in a way of like, oh whoa, this is so interesting that it's saying something that maybe I haven't had language for, words for, but here it is.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: It was one of the most enlightening moments of my life because I thought, I get myself.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like I understood myself for the very first time.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I think for most of my adult life, I was thinking, well, why would you think that, or why would you act like that, or why do you struggle with that, or why can't you be like this person, or why can't you be like that person?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: And for the first time, I was just like, this is me, and I'm uniquely me in the way God made me.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: And these ways of interacting with the world are the way I'm wired, and it's actually not bad, and there can be value in it.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it also made my role in my job, which is a financial planner, and I always wondered kind of how did I end up here?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then I went, oh, this makes a lot of sense while I'm a planner.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's definitely a natural bent for me, but I think it was a very refreshing moment.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: And if you remember, I was in the middle of one of the most stressful seasons of my life as well.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so to be able to recognize the stress patterns of a six in the low side of a three, it really, I was like, oh my goodness.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: I think it also helped me see how long I had been in that state and how I mean, definitely that's not where I would want to be or want to live for a long time.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: So it made me really kind of evaluate where I was even deeper and what I needed to do to not be in that constant state of stress.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, beautifully said, because we are constantly in our wholehearted communities and circles talking about our starting point, doesn't have to be our stuck point, but we have to know where our starting point is.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: We have to know our orientation and where we are on the map.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we know what direction to go.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And even to that point, you testing as a three and an eight actually was giving some insight that for you, you were in a very stressful situation.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And a six can push against similar to an eight and have some of those fears of related to control and being powerless and and even being betrayed at some level.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: So those were part of your story and why it was even coming about on those assessments, because this was a critical time in your life where things were heightened, but to actually know what direction to go from there, I I did actually get to witness the beauty of that and the goodness of that.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, there's been a lot of things in the last five years of walking alongside of you and launching your youngest from the nest officially and going out on your own professionally, starting a business, navigating community change.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many elements about that would really touch on the core fear for a six that is being left without support or feeling the disloyalty or the shifting and the changing being unstable in all intents and purposes.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me a little bit about the transition that maybe has hit the hardest and some other moments around those experiences in this journey.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so there has been a lot of things.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: And when I was thinking about that this morning, and you know, even to add in there, also purchasing a building for my business and losing my mom in the same year last year, there's just there's been a lot of shifts and there's been a lot of challenging emotions and thoughts to work through.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: And um, when I was thinking about what has been the hardest part through those things for interesting reasons.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I would say the extended period of time where I was in basically an unhealthy environment where I second-guessed myself all the time.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I was discerning things and then having to tell myself that I was discerning incorrectly in order to stay in the environment.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: And because of my sense of loyalty and not recognizing that the loyalty was no longer deserved, but not understanding why then I had this mix of emotion all of the time.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: And that because it was such a long period, I think that that really was the hardest because it just it kept going, but I didn't have clarity or understanding about why.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Why was I in this heightened state of stress for such a long period of time?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: And it it took a while for that to be revealed and exposed.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: But I think um there had been over a long period of time, there can be a lot of damage that happens to your inner self-talk because you're telling yourself to ignore the things that you actually shouldn't ignore because you have a displaced loyalty um that shouldn't actually exist.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: That took a while to work through and figure out and then what to do with that.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then I had to confront my own fears to know what to do with it.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it even impacts your nervous system because there is that element, and these some of these phrases are overused, so I'll just give that disclaimer.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea of gaslighting yourself when you are in an unhealthy environment, and we could even call it toxic, perhaps, where you continually try to talk yourself from a loyalty position back into this must be safe, or I it must just be me and I must be misreading and all of that element which feeds into the struggle for six, which is self-doubt anyway, but then re-induring that core wound and maladaptive behavior or reinforcing it, it gets you pretty spinny and it makes it really challenging to figure which way is up and what to do next.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you summed it up very well.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um because of all of that too, I didn't sense the leadership strength that I actually have because I was always second-guessing myself.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: And as I was thinking about that need for support that a six has naturally, I was interpreting the chaotic mix of signals and things I was reading or not reading and this gaslighting, the self-gaslighting.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: I was, I think because that was happening, it was making me feel like the answer was that I just needed more support.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: That somehow, if I just had more support, that would fix what was happening.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: And in a very practical way, like I just needed to hire somebody to help me with the things, but it actually was the overwhelm in my mind and my heart that was causing that to be so amped up when and I was looking to my natural go-to was I just need more support.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if that makes sense, but I think that there's a connection there that the only reason I can recognize it now is because I just don't feel that way on a regular basis now.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't and I don't have any more practical like hiring.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I do have support, but not any more than I had in that season.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so that tells me that I was just I was looking for an answer that would be my normal go-to answer, and it wasn't the solution.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I want to offer the opportunity to I just kind of share what was the solution in that.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: If leaning more into getting help, what does that look like to no longer doubt yourself and lean into how the Lord was leading you?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's a big deal.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it took a lot of courage, and I think that's worth sharing.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I started noticing some things about the situation that I was in and the and the leader of the situation that I was in.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: And at first I discredited my own interpretation of what that is.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: I do have discernment.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I was discrediting that and saying, you know, stop jumping to conclusions about people because sixes can do that too.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: They can say, Well, I see this, so that must mean this, and we're down a road, you know, before we've even stopped it ourselves and said, You can't know that.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: But I was seeing something, and the more I saw it, the more I was going to the Lord, going, Why are why am I seeing this?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: And why do I have to be the one to see this?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because other people aren't seeing this and they don't know, they're not in the know about this, they're not recognizing this.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I the only one that is?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think that was the first part was I was just asking the Lord, why?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: And and I didn't feel like I could share that with anybody.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: That felt very disloyal.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I also wanted to really follow biblical model, but at the same time, I'm I'm so unsure of what I'm seeing.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: How can I even go to the person and do it in the biblical model?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: So it was like this cycle in my brain of what do I do with this?
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: Such a tug of war.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: So it was a tug of war.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: So as but I just kept asking the Lord about it.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: And during that season, he started showing me more things.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: And as I was able to help myself just quiet the fear a little bit, and that was through the Lord, just asking him, Lord, if you're showing me this and you want me to do something with it, then help me discern what that is supposed to be.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because I cannot be wrong about this if I'm going to say something about it.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: It needs to be really factual.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I think what's great about him showing a six is because we do want to know the facts.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: I do want to know.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want hearsay.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to hear a rumor.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want it to be loosely based on someone else's interpretation.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to firsthand know if I was gonna act.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: And so, and I am a bit of a researcher.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so I started documenting and I started gathering firsthand knowledge.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then it became clear that I needed to go approach this person and directly address and confront.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: It was really very confrontative, but in a very loving way.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, God did remind me that I had had my own issues in my past, that I really wanted to use that as a way of saying, hey, I'm a cautionary tale, I've made my own mistakes, I don't want to see you make the same mistakes, but I also don't want you to snow me because I want you to know that I know.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: And here's what I know.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so I actually to help myself, I wrote a letter to keep myself on track.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um I took somebody else with me and to do it in the biblical model.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was one of the hardest moments that I had lived in many, many years.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: I was scared to death, but I also was really scared to death not to do that.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because it also felt like I had been called to do it.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: And if I didn't, and this is where a six would think, right?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: If I don't do this and something worse happens down the road because I was too chicken to do it, then some of it's on me.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that gave me more courage to be able to do it because I didn't want worse things to happen.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't want that person to end up in a worse space or a worse place because nobody had the courage to say something because they were a very strong personality and they were not surrounded by a lot of people who would have the courage to say something.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, okay, Lord, that's what we're gonna do then.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: And now I see the the flip side of the six, right?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: Where when you're afraid of something, you can run towards it.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um that's right.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Then I definitely saw that in action at that point, and it served me well in that in that particular case.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing and going there.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want to reflect on a few of the elements of things that you just said and highlight, and I think not from even the perspective of what I know, but what I heard you say, because it's really easy for a woman in a tough situation like this to go through all the thought process you did, but then you touched on the fact that you could have gone to a place where your past or a previous situation could have disqualified you.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I know as we work through it, it was realizing it uniquely qualified you to come in a place of compassion and a genuine desire to be a guide in that moment where you could say, Hey, I've been there, I understand.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let me show you a different way.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And in that, following the Matthew 18 principle, going into a brother in Christ in a situation where we can be a brother or sister in Christ, going in that posture and going through that step by step in an honoring way is so powerful.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you I know you did it relying on the Lord, relying on the Holy Spirit's guidance in that time.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: But every single step, you did it with intention, with thought.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you could have talked yourself out of it, you stepped forward through the strength of the Lord and did it.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you can say years later, okay, it was the right thing, even though it was the hardest thing.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, definitely.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I almost did talk myself out of it, but yes, I did it.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to make a note here that your situation unfortunately is not an isolated situation.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just know many other women.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I'd like to point out that there is no guarantee of outcome.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: When we take a step of faith and courage, whatever it is, it could be as difficult as a situation you found yourself in, or even stepping out and starting a business.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: There is no guarantee of outcome.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: But if the Lord is prodding you and it keeps coming back, then that is a moment to pay attention and go, okay, Lord, how do you want me to faithfully follow this through?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because ultimately just grateful that this is one of those things that we stand before the Lord and go, okay, did I do what you asked me to do?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: If I say here I am, send me, it may not look like going to a cool place on the globe.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: It may be having a really hard conversation that we don't want to have.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, most definitely.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think that as a six, we can also maybe imagine that we can somehow control the outcome.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what you were just saying.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: That, you know, okay, well, then if I do this, then it will lead to this outcome.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: And everything has to be about that outcome.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the Lord was just saying, no, all I need you to do is this part.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: The rest of it is up to me and up to the person.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: And you can trust me for whatever happens next.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that was hard because it was a big unknown.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, huge.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a brother in Christ, but also a professional relationship.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: So that could have ended that day.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's all kinds of ways it could have turned out.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that I'm probably not the only six that you deep down, you get a sense that yes, if I trust the Lord, I can trust him for this outcome.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_02: We just get too caught up in all the different scenarios of which way it could go.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: And we let that distract us from the trust and from the faith.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I know, and because there has been a little bit more recent where we've played around with this idea of response versus responsibility.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one of those moments, right?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a theme again and again, I think for all types, but for six, six is uniquely highlighted in this situation.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: How does that weigh in response versus responsibility?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just first thoughts.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know unscripted.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh response versus versus responsibility.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's huge, hugely different.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: And that was a revelation for me.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: I think you and I compared notes also on um Jamie Winship's book, Living Fearless.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: And response is what I'm responsible for, but my response to the Lord is all I'm responsible for.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm not responsible for the outcome, other people, their decisions.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: And there's such a difference, and it's such a lighter load.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's just even if you just say response versus responsible or response versus responsibility, I think the word is shorter and it's also lighter.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's just a different understanding of maybe what we've been putting on ourselves most of our lives.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: It you have to sit with it for a while and you have to continue to sit with it, I think, for it to really take hold.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think there is unique lifelong struggle for the six and what that looks like because the gift of vigilance, safety, planning, care that a six carries quickly becomes a heavy yoke of responsibility when it's tied to the outcome, when you're really good at crafting and creating and controlling an outcome.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: But given a situation like this and so many others that I've watched you live through the last five years, this is where the shift had to happen of like, okay, God, you're you're in charge here.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've done my best.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it is showing up and responding, giving your yes to the Lord, having the conversation, and then letting the rest go, which is so again, uniquely challenging for a six to walk out and probably something to continue to have to revisit as life circumstances change, especially a season like this where so much transition, just right and left, coming from every direction.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: I would say definitely.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: And this is another reminder to revisit response versus responsibility.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Or responsible.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's definitely an ongoing thing.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so interesting, the more comfortable you get with the type that you lead in, the more it's not that you see this good, this bad.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's more like they become integrated at some point, where what is what are your strengths can also be your weaknesses.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: But it's not like you have to shift away from who you are.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: You shift to submission of who you are, to the Holy Spirit, who then can use the way you're wired for good and for not, you know, not just your own good, the good of others, um, what God wants to do in the world.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's letting go of the outcome, having to control the outcome.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: The Lord spoke to me a couple of years ago in a time of worship where he um told me that I'm a passionate testifier.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: As I was asking him, how do you see me and who am I?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: And ooh, he said, You're a passionate testifier, and when you can can stop having to control the outcome, you'll actually find joy in it.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: And that was huge to me because joy is something I would tell you that I have always struggled to want more of, or really live in, or have revisit on a regular basis, or have naturally spring up out of me.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it was such a revelation to me that when I can give up control, I can leave room for joy.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because the joy is just in the being, in the responding, in the being present, not being a hundred miles down the road, imagining all the scenarios that robs the joy.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: And he has never asked me to do that.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Samantha, there's so much meaning there that you hold.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, even for those who can watch this to see the tears well up and what it represents in your heart and your mind and your body.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen you make that shift of the what if worst possible case scenario to what if in the possibility and what could God do?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: And look at what God has done and what He will likely do again for me.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that you've embodied that shift.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you continue to bring others in your community.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Amy.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: There is a an interesting example of that.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: If this is okay, time to bring that up.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: So last year, uh my mom passed away suddenly at mid-May.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: And at the same time, the community of wise women, after eight years of meeting and leading that group, it ended like the same week.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was so such a lot.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: It was it was a lot.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I could see the hand of the Lord, you know, carrying and preparing and all of that.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: But within three months of that, there was an opportunity that came to me to purchase a building in the downtown area where I live to be able to house my business.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: Now, as an Enneagram six, these are not things that we do suddenly, not usually.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: Or seek out usually.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: Or seek out usually.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't I had considered it.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the Lord had been planting a seed for a very long time that it might be a good option, but there was never a something that was, you know, no opportunity had really come up.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: But I had told the Lord, you know, that would be great someday.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the opportunity came up, and it came up in a way that it needed a decision in a relatively quick way.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was consulting because that's what we do.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I consulted the people that I know that are smartest and wisest when it comes to real estate investing and making sure the numbers looked right and this was smart to do.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I am a financial advisor myself, but I'm not necessarily a real estate investor.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: So it was a whole new set of things that I wanted to look at, make sure it was wise.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so having done that research, it looked like a wise decision.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: And then we got results on a sewer line inspection.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_02: And that sewer line inspection was going to be exceptionally large expense.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, well, that's it.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's the sign from the Lord that this is enough.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then something inside of me was like, is it really?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: Do you need to ask the Lord about that?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I spent a weekend really, and my husband too, we were praying about this.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: He's not, he's a one, you know, he's not a risk taker.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I mean the two of us together, right?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was asking the Lord about this, and I felt like one evening I he actually my husband was out of town helping to care for his mom, and I was by myself, and I was just really just praying and struggling through this Lord, what is wise to do?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt like what he ended up leading me down this path where there were two options.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_02: One option was you could decide no, and then your bank accounts are going to be nice and cushy, and you're gonna have the security of these extra funds that you were going to put into this purchase.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: And God will be with you.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: I will be with you if you make that decision.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh yeah, that's the one.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's the one that feels better.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then I felt like he said, or you can take a chance and you can live with more faith than certainty, and I'll be with you in that choice as well.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh what you're saying is whether it has risk or no risk, you're still present.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: And you're going to be with me in whatever comes up in each of those paths.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: That was revolutionary to the way I thought.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because to me, I was thinking safety is where God's spirit is.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's where he's going to be with me.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: The least amount of risk, the most amount of wisdom, the most amount of certainty that feels where God's presence is going to hang out more.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, I think for me, the opposite was true.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: He was going to be with me in either one.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: But I felt like he was saying certainty disallows faith to be present.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I definitely want to live and step out more in faith.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to grow in that because I do believe that that is where I see more of him, is when I take steps towards things that are unknown.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: God led, obviously, not crazy, right?
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: We don't want to do crazy things.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um spirit led, right?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: Not foolish.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: It might be crazy, but might, but as long as it's not foolish.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so it really opened my six mind up to a new way of living and that little revelation.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: I just keep coming back to it.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're with me either way, Lord.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: Unless it's a sin-related thing.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: If it's just a decision, he's going to be with us in whichever decision we make.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be catastrophic.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: What if I miss it?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: What if I missed it and I made the wrong decision?
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: Does that mean God isn't there?
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't mean that.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: He can still, he will still be present with us.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that has that's been life-changing.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm so grateful that the Lord brought that to me so that I could learn that.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: And be able to reference that over and over again.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Samantha, that is a sermon and a podcast in itself.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Can I give an amen?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hallelujah.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think even this is a a huge element for likely my friend who's listening, who is the type of person who has said yes to God for things, like is there and oftentimes intersects this moment, and given their personality, it looks like a little unique.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it would be could God be in the sorrow as much as the joy?
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I would automatically relegate a painful sorrow, loss, or whatever.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: God must not be in it.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: And same for you.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: If something doesn't actually look secure or safe or even logical, God must not be in that.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, God is in the risk and God is in the logic.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: He intersects us both, as long as it's not outside of the biblical mandates.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: But how beautiful.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, oh, I want my friend to listen to this, that whether they're six or not, but to hear how does that thread out for you when you're praying about a decision and you're not sure which way to go.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: God might be saying, I'm there either way.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe taste and see and know that I'm good in this thing that feels a little bit of a stretch compared to where I've done before with you.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually exciting.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like it opens up a whole new world of opportunities because we don't have to just live in only this tiny world of where the outcome is known and what is safe and what we're interpreting all of that as only what is wise.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: And the world is bigger than that.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: And God's kingdom is bigger than that, and his opportunities are bigger than that.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: And he wants us to be a part of those opportunities.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: He hasn't counted us out, even with the way that we're wired from opportunities and things, ways to grow and ways we can be part of his kingdom, just because we're wired like sixes.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, that exactly.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's not a thing.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, so rich, Samantha.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for giving us that insight and sharing that part because it is a there's so many lessons to be drawn from there.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I will allow the Lord and the Holy Spirit to lead our friend who's listening into the direction that this story needs to land exactly.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: And what's the next right step?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's really big.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: In closing, what would you share to our friend who um maybe wants to move forward in something in their life?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a small decision, maybe it's a big one.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: How would you encourage them?
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe even like, what would you wish you had known, or just what you would say to them?
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you've got a fount of wisdom.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: What's that word of encouragement?
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think the word of encouragement would be to allow yourself to consider a scenario that is amazing.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, for every scenario that you can imagine that's that goes wrong.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um if you've got five of those, allow yourself at least one scenario where it turns out amazing.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then try to consider where God's hand might be in that.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think it's a practice, like it's a daily, for me, that's what it's looked like.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's it feels like a small step because it's intentional.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's something that you don't even have to act on.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: So that's why it's a small step.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: But so much of what happens before we act is happening in our mind before.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: And we are, it's leading our actions towards this to prevent something unsafe or some scenario that we've imagined, we're trying to prepare for the worst or prepare for whatever.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_02: And if we could just imagine that there is something amazing that could be ahead, that God would just tell us what we need to know as we walk towards it.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: That feels different to me.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm trying to encourage myself as a daily discipline.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: When I am in a mode where, and we know when we're in that mode where we're starting to think like that, that if we can just put up a stop sign in our brain, I learned that for a friend one time, she said, just when you recognize something, imagine a stop sign in your brain for just a moment.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then do this one other thing.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_02: Do something different, imagine something different, consider something different, and then incorporate your prayers into that.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_02: So, Lord, will you show me where you are in this?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: And just what is the next step that you want me to take?
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's so great.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because I will say, for the woman who loves the Lord and is following him, the Lord does above and beyond what we could ask for or imagine.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: And he does invite us to dream with him in that way.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: I know so often, so many outcomes are very different than what I thought.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I had dreamed big, but it's also often I'm still in the middle of the story.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I do get to the other side, it is often way better than I could have dreamed up or written or directed, however, it goes, right?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: And the cool thing is, is that he redeems every moment and he works all things together.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: And that is such a thing we say all the time.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: But for a six, if you can think about, well, what if it did go wrong?
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: What if something bad did happen?
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_02: What if your child makes a decision they wouldn't you wish they wouldn't have?
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_02: What if you make a mistake in a decision that does not limit God?
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't limit him from working all of those things.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it makes the picture even more beautiful because we understand it's made up of imperfect things that we thought could only mean a certain outcome.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, guess what?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: I can take even those things and craft something even more beautiful than what you could have imagined if everything went right.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's amazing.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's incredible.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: And Samantha, thank you.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing these tender places and spaces.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you have been through so much these last five years.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it has shaped you though.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, ongoing into the woman of wisdom that you are.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I know my friend listening isn't listening with the intention of, oh, I might need a financial planner.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: But for the sake of in case my friend is listening, she's like, I'm really moved by this story.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I want to talk to Samantha about money because I think she could help me.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_00: Can you give just a little nod?
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: We'll put the links in the show notes, but where can they find you, talk to you more about this concept of financial planning because it is your superpower and strength?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't help but celebrate that and say, hey, Samantha's your gap.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, friend.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's so nice.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: So insightwealthkc.com is my website.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_02: I've been doing this kind of work for 14 years.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_02: I generally work with people who are five to 10 years away from retirement and they've got a lot of unknown spending in their mind, and they want to land those in some sort of order so that they can have a picture ahead that supports what they want to be about.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_02: I work a lot with single women who have gone through death or divorce, and they just want somebody to walk alongside them to help them to be able to put things in order and know that their future can look the way they would like it to and be supported in that way.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and genuinely flourish.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: Samantha, thank you for that.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know you do a wonderful job in that, but you've done a wonderful job sharing your story and giving glory to God and inviting a friend into, hey, this wholehearted journey is for me as well.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's going to look unique to every story, but this is a beautiful demonstration where not everything was big and shiny and wonderful and it's not all figured out.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_00: But your anchor and your hope in Christ alone shines through.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: And well done, my friend.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for giving us this today.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad to hear that he was glorified.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: He deserves it.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for joining me for the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: If this conversation spoke to you, please share it with a friend.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can also visit simply wholehearted.com to take the free Enneagram quiz and also get your personalized podcast playlist specific for your Enneagram type.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, friend, your starting point doesn't have to be your stuff point.