Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Find The Courage to Choose Yourself: with Life Coach Nazanin Mandi

Transcript

Find The Courage to Choose Yourself: with Life Coach Nazanin Mandi · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and I have conversations.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: That put a new spin on pretty. This is pretty smart.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: There's a Brene Brown quote I love about how we
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: can move throughout the world with strong backs, soft fronts,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and wild hearts. That quote describes Naseinin and Mandy to
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: a tee. Take one look at her Instagram and you'll
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: see all three of those sentiments immediately.
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  Speaker 2: She's boundaried at five four.
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  Speaker 1: She stands tall because her core and her back are strong,
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  Speaker 1: soft front. What has always drawn me to her is
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  Speaker 1: her humility, her kindness, and vulnerability. Even though she's in
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the public eye, she doesn't feel protected or contrived to
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: me in the way so many other people can. She's
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: never built that protective layer. Instead, she lets people in
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: and the girl has a wild heart. Catch her in
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: some leather, some lace, or both, dancing, laughing and adventuring.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: You'll see instantly she lives freely. I first came to
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: know Nazanine as the singer and artist Miguel's wife years ago.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: He was at his first Big Grammys and I saw
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: her on the red carpet with her curly hair and
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: her magnetic smile, and thought, who is that? There was
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: something about her presence and I wasn't the only one
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: who saw it, because the day after the Awards show,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: she was all over magazine pages and Instagram. People wanted
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: to know who that woman was. And over the years,
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  Speaker 1: she's shown us time and again through her artistry, her modeling,
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  Speaker 1: her acting, and through her experiences, her learnings, her teachings,
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  Speaker 1: her heartfelt messages. People always came to her for inspiration
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  Speaker 1: and now she's doing it profe estionally. She went to
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: school to become a certified transformational Empowerment coach and is
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: launching you Bloom, a global community to support you with
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: tools and guidance to develop mental strength, confidence, and consistency
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  Speaker 1: so that you can reach your full potential despite what
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: life may throw at you and just like all the
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: best things in life. This came out of her own
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: personal experience and pain. She said she spent most of
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: her twenties in deep seated denial, rooted in depression. She
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: was lost and not aligned with her truth, heartbroken over
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: her parents' divorce, battling body dysmorphia, and living in fear
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: of unfulfilled potential. She was so uncomfortable that she decided
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to focus inward and make a change. And now she
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  Speaker 1: wants all of us to step into our power, reclaim
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  Speaker 1: our life, step into our greatness. She said, we got
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  Speaker 1: this together. So now as I want to give everybody
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: a little background on you. You were born and raised
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: in California.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, I am a Cali girl born and raised.
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  Speaker 2: It's rare.
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  Speaker 3: We are rare people. Yes.
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  Speaker 2: Your dad is Persian, yes, and your mom is Latin.
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  Speaker 3: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: What was it like growing up in a mixed household?
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  Speaker 3: They made it very seamless, honestly, Like my mom fell
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  Speaker 3: into the Persian culture very well. My dad taught her
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: how to cook, so she and my mom, oh amazing.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: So my mom and she was already an amazing cook.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: So it was just easy. Like I didn't grow up
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  Speaker 3: feeling like I had to pick between the two, you know.
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  Speaker 3: And then my mom's mother and my grandma, she lived
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: with us, so the Mexican culture was always around, you know.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: So it was like I had both, I just and
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: I never felt like I had to pick one.
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  Speaker 1: In your adult years, do you feel like both identities
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: run really strong through you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, and I actually sometimes feel guilty because I
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: feel like it should be stronger.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Really, yeah, what do you mean?
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I know, it's like this is my anxiety talking. I'm like,
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  Speaker 3: one day when I have kids, like I hope that
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  Speaker 3: I pass on enough culture to them, Like did I
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  Speaker 3: learn enough? Like I need to like really learn the
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  Speaker 3: languages and like the the traditions and stuff like that,
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  Speaker 3: Like do I know enough to pass it on to
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  Speaker 3: my kids?
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  Speaker 1: I think about that too, like even words that my
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  Speaker 1: or grandparents use.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel guilty about that sometimes. So I'm like, Okay,
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  Speaker 3: before I decide when I'm gonna have kids, or you know,
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  Speaker 3: while I'm pregnant one day, like I need to brush
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  Speaker 3: up on something, yeah, because I want them to know
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  Speaker 3: and feel proud of who they are. You know that's
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  Speaker 3: so important to me.
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  Speaker 2: You'll be in Farsia class.
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And at my age it's going to be so difficult
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  Speaker 3: because when you're a kid, it's easy, you know, you
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  Speaker 3: pick up things so fast, But in your thirties, it's
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  Speaker 3: gonna be a little child.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: So I was laughing reading Wikipedia because I had no
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  Speaker 1: idea that you were discovered in an in and out.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, I was.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so in Burbank, because you have been in this
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  Speaker 2: for so long I was ten.
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  Speaker 3: What happened? Okay, my mom and I I don't know
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  Speaker 3: why we were in Burbank. We were probably shopping or something,
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  Speaker 3: and we were in and out and a photographer came
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  Speaker 3: up to me and asked if I modeled, and my
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  Speaker 3: mom was standing obviously right next to me, and my
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: mom turned around and she was like, yes, she does.
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  Speaker 3: And because I always just like practiced at home, Like
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  Speaker 3: I was the kid that had those like from the nineties,
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  Speaker 3: those plastic cameras that squirted water, and I would make
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  Speaker 3: my brother like take pictures of me, like pretend and
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  Speaker 3: I would put a backdrop book and like I was
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  Speaker 3: always practicing. Yeah, So my mom was like, yes she does.
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  Speaker 3: She knows how. And he's like, oh, you know, I'm
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: a photographer and I'm connected, and I feel like she
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  Speaker 3: would do really will, like starting in catalog work to
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: build her portfolio. And so my mom was like, well,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: give me your name, and like she did her due
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: diligence and her research and he was legit. So my
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  Speaker 3: first shoot was for actually wet seal.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I think I bought my first song there really exciting.
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  Speaker 3: It was for wet Seal and it was their catalog.
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  Speaker 3: It was I remember, and I don't I remember not
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: being nervous. It was weird, Like I remember my mom
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: being there. She came with me everywhere, and like I
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: just remember putting the clothes on and just feeling so
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  Speaker 3: comfortable in front of the camera and like it was
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  Speaker 3: just natural. I don't know, but yes, the In and
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Out story is very true. Yess. I was discovered in
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: In and Out.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: That's it's like such a good factoid if you're like,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: never have I ever read?
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  Speaker 3: And it's very Californian.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Very does your.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Life now look at all how you envisioned it, like
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: when you were ten years old or twelve years old?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: In bed? Uh huh?
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: You know how, Like I guess I used to do this.
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  Speaker 1: I would like before I would go to bed at night,
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  Speaker 1: I would kind of think about what my life would
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: look like.
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  Speaker 2: No.
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely, I mean, let's be honest. When I was like
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: that age, I was like, I'm gonna be married at
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: twenty five, yes, and I'm gonna have these kids like
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: twenty five, Like you all thought that yourself, Like exactly,
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: it isn't it isn't. When I was younger, at that age,
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  Speaker 3: I always thought that I had to pick one thing
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  Speaker 3: to be successful at and I had to work really
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  Speaker 3: hard it. And you know, my parents implemented that in me,
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  Speaker 3: like you work hard, you play hard, Like that's you know,
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  Speaker 3: things aren't handed to you. You need to work. So
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  Speaker 3: I always thought I had to pick one thing. And
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: then the older I got, I was like, but I'm
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: interested in this, and I'm interested in that, and I'm
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  Speaker 3: good at this and that, And it tripped me up
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  Speaker 3: for a little bit, probably for like a good decade.
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  Speaker 2: Really, yes, all through.
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  Speaker 3: My twenties, I was like, but I like that, I
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: like that, and I don't know what to do, and
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  Speaker 3: it was discouraging. So after I got over the training
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  Speaker 3: of being younger and only having to pick one thing,
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  Speaker 3: I was like, no, Like, I'm multifaceted and it's okay.
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  Speaker 3: And I think with social media and Instagram, like now
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  Speaker 3: you see women who are into so many things, and
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  Speaker 3: it's inspiring. You don't have to be one thing, you know,
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  Speaker 3: and that's the beauty of life. You know, at any age,
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  Speaker 3: we can transform our career. We can decide I don't
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  Speaker 3: want to do this anymore and start something completely new.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you mentioned multi hyphenics. I was going to
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: bring this up later, but I think that it's a
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  Speaker 1: word that is thrown around a lot.
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  Speaker 3: It is, I agree, and.
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  Speaker 1: There's something I dissect it because there is something liberating
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  Speaker 1: about it, yes, and something exhausting about it, Like you
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  Speaker 1: feel like you have to be all of the things,
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  Speaker 1: all of the time, everywhere.
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  Speaker 2: Right, how do you balance that?
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it's taken many, many years to balance it. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: First I had to find what giving myself grace looks
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  Speaker 3: like I'm so bad at that, No, I'm terrible. Like
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  Speaker 3: I'm getting better. I'm going to give myself that. That
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  Speaker 3: was some grace exactly. But growing up, I came from
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: a household of a very full schedule. So I was
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: in school, I was in vocal lessons, acting classes, I
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: was in the community theater, I was recording. It was
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: like my schedules back to back growing up, and I
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: was used to that life. I wasn't really taught that
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  Speaker 3: it was okay to rest. And so when I got
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: to probably like I probably thirty thirty one, my career
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  Speaker 3: started really picking up, and I was working so much.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I started to get sick like a lot, and weird
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: things I would get like hi, or all of a sudden,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I was getting really bad migraines and I was stressing
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: myself out, and I was like, Oh, something has to change.
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  Speaker 3: This is not okay, you know. And just because I
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: wasn't taught grace and rest when I was younger, it
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  Speaker 3: doesn't mean I'm not going to teach my own self
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  Speaker 3: that now. So that is always a work in progress.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Kudos to you for recognizing it, though, because I think
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: people really like continue on that path until it's breakdown.
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  Speaker 3: Exactly, and I was. I was on the verge of breakdown,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: like it was twenty nineteen, and I was like, I
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: booked like four acting gigs in a row, I put
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: music out, I had the podcast with my cousin, Like
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: my schedule was so crazy. I remember filming and recording
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: the podcast and my migraines were so bad. It was
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: so hard to even connect. It was just like I
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: couldn't be in the moment a lot of the times
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: because I was in pain or I was thinking of
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: the other things I had to do. And it was
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: a lot.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: It was a lot to take on, hard to to
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: be like a sister, a daughter of spouse, like all
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: those other titles with that.
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  Speaker 3: That's a whole other thing of finding balance with that.
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  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know if balance exists no.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Like especially if you're a naturally like very nurturing person
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: and I am so with my partner, it was finding
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: that balance as well, Like yeah, like I would get
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: up and like make breakfast and then some days I
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: couldn't and I would feel bad and it was the
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: grace had to kick in, do you know what I mean?
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: So that was really difficult too.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: When is the last time you felt really out of
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: your depth jumping into something.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Out of my depth like uncomfortable or nervous or that's
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: a very good question, you know what. Probably last year
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: two thousand and twenty one was an insane year for
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: me personally, but it also led me which I'm so
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: grateful for. And it all happened for a reason. It
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: led me to pushing myself to figure out what I
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: really wanted in life and what my personal boundaries were
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: and what I will and will not put up with,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: And it led me to finally putting my foot down
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: with so many things and starting you boom, like officially
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: like hiring the web design or hiring a team. This
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: is what I want to do. You Bloom was birthed
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: out of so much pain, so much I can't even
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: tell you, Like, but it was all I had, you know,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: besides like modeling and all of that stuff. Like, but
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: I've been doing that for so long. To me, I'm like,
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: it's automatic.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: You were trying to figure out your identity.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Outside of like the marriage, outside of modeling. You know,
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: it's like what do I want? Who is nots? Who
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: is she? Beyond all of these other things. So I
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: found that last year and it was the most uncomfortable experience.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Cause I think the first time we spoke was in
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  Speaker 1: two thousand sixteen.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a long time ago.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: It was a long time ago. And one of the
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: reasons I reached out was.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I had always on social media, felt like you had
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: s such a knowing of who you were, m and
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: a right and a r.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: You had such a moral compass.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that has never faltered.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Never.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: No, It's been so interesting for me to watch because
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: you've gone through like th I have an outside perspective, right,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: but like I've watched from the outside and you've gone
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: through transitions in your personal life and your professional life,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: but you always m you're always the same, nots.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know. I owe that to my parents. Yeah,
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: they really taught me how to be a solid and
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: strong and graceful and classy woman. Honestly, like ever since
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: I was a child, Like my mother would be like,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: you know, carry yourself this way, like I remember her vividly,
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: like I was probably seven or eight, and her being like,
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: you know, one day, your looks are gonna fade. We're
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: all gonna get old. But what's in here and what's
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: up here is what really truly matters. So you lead
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: with this, and you lead with this because this is
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: gonna go away.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I think, and I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: but I think that seeing somebody who's so objectively beautiful
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: not just say it but believe it, thank you is
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: really impactful.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Thank you? Yeah, Like it's so important. And I will
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: obviously pass that on to my children, you know, one day.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: But our character, our values, are moral code. It starts
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: when we are children. Yeah, you know, and those things,
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: if you're solid in those things, they don't leave you.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: They don't leave you. And no matter what I've been
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: through and I've been through a lot, and the things
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: that I have seen and the things that I've actually
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: been done to me, I don't fight fire with fire.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: That would be going against who I am as a person,
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: you know, and that gives that person power over me.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: And I'm not going to give that to anybody.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: They're just not I am so excited to talk about
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: you Bloom.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Off camera, I was telling you how excited I am
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: because also from the outside and I feel like this
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: is a launch that has been a long time coming.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like it like I feel like I've
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: been talking about it for so long because I got
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: certified in early twenty twenty, so before the pandemic. Really yes,
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: so I.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Thought this was like a pandemic decision.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: No this.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: I got certified January twenty sixth, twenty twenty. We went
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: in lockdown mid February.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: So what did you what's the actual title?
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: It's a Certified Life coach. So cool. Yeah, So I
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: went I got certified, and my whole plan I was like, okay, cool,
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I got five months because May is mental Health Awareness month.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: I was gonna launch then you. I was gonna launch
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: you Bloom. I had the name I hit everything, and
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: then you know, COVID just hit And I was like,
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: I know a lot of us obviously were going through
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: a lot, none of us have experienced this, Like this
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: is wild and we all need a lot of mental help.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: But I was not in a place and I knew
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: I couldn't give authentically if I was not in that
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: in the right mind, and I wasn't.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you about that?
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, Yeah, so you posted this, you said,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: just like most of the best things, this comes from
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: personal experience. I spent most of my twenties in deep
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: seated denial, rooted in depression. I was lost in a
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: new lifestyle that wasn't aligned with my truth, m heartbroken
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: over my parents' divorce, battly body dysmorphia, living in the shadows,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: and deep in the fear of unfulfilled potential. Was that
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: stuff coming back? Had you not healed that? Or like,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: what were you doing?
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: It was ebb and flow. Okay, So when I turned thirty,
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: I had a whole breakdown. It was a whole moment
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: of I'm tired of my own bullshit. I need to
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: go after my passions. What am I doing? Like now
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: it's now? Or never really like, let's get the ball
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: rolling thirty does that oh my god, breakdown? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Thirty is like it will grab you and shake the
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: shit out of you. Right, And I had this whole
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: revelation in Miami. It was a whole thing, and we
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: had my thirtieth birthday there and it was a moment.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I got home and I put a plan
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: together and I was like, I'm getting into therapy, like
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: full time. Getting an acting class is full time. I'm
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: really into mental health. So I started reading a lot.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: And I've always been a reader. That's just like a
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: hobby of mine, I guess we could say, but I
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: really started to get into the meat of mental health.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: So acting classes were paying off. Therapy was changing my life.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: I started booking gigs. Everything was great, and then you know,
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: pandemic hit, and when you're when you can't go anywhere
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: and you're sitting with your thoughts twenty four seven for months,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: in fact, you don't even know when it's gonna end,
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: your mind starts to really really lose it, and it
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: was like, Okay, what are the next steps in my life?
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I think COVID, especially for me, it put a lot
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: of things into perspective what really matters, like what is
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: going to feed not only other people but my soul.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: So and I don't want to assume anything so correct
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: now if I'm wrong, just from like I'm maybe even
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: projecting on you. But like when I'm in a relationship
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: with somebody that is so clear about their path and
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I am unclear, it almost makes it worse.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, I would absolutely agree with you on that. Is
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: that yes and no, because I would never put my
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: indecisions or in decisiveness on my partner. I take full
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: accountability for that. But when you're so invested in a relationship,
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: it can be a distraction and you don't even realize it.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: So interesting, Yeah, you're like, oh, especially in my case,
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: it's are you coming on the road? What are we doing?
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: You know, it's just very different circumstances. And you know, I, obviously,
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: you know, was fully invested. So those things become distractions
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: if you let it get out of hand.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: So in my twenties, out of hand very easy to
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: get out of it. Absolutely experiences too in a lot
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: of ways.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, And you you know, you want that person to
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: be the most successful they can be, and anything they need,
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: you want to provide and be their support system. And
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: you know, his line of work, it's it's a lot.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: You know, it's very demanding, and he wouldn't be home
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: for months, and it's you know, it's just a very
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: difficult lifestyle.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: I'm so grateful for it and it's been a dream.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: But everything has a price, you know. And I don't
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: know if a lot of people realize that, but everything
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: we do, doesn't actually matter, what you do, has a price.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I think that's hard to talk about because I actually
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I always see Kim Kardashian do this when people are like,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: is it hard being so famous? And she won't talk
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: about it because she knows that people don't want to
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: hear I know, like, oh, poor little famous girl.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: But it also has to come with a price.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Everything everything we do comes with the price. You know.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: You do make choices about, you know, if you want
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: to be in this industry or not. But yeah, I
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: mean it's it's hard. That's a hard question. And I
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: don't blame her for not answer.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: I get it, Okay, I want to dig into you bloom. Yeah,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: how would you describe it? It sounds like a three
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: sixty offering which was really exciting.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, so you bloom, I'm building a community and it's
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: going to be a three tier membership. So and that's
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: for the public whoever wants to sign up. So I
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: will offer personal you know, text messages, weekly check ins.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: I have mind Fuel Monday videos that are coming out.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: I have a Q and A at the end of
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: every month. You can submit your questions. If you want
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: me to address you on camera, we could totally do that.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: And then I also offer one on one coaching. So yeah,
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: it's going to be good in our live events. I'm
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: so excited about. Anybody can sign up you bloom dot com.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: So you support people with tools, guidance, and coaching to
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: reach their full potential.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely or make any kind of transformational Let's say
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: someone's having a hard time figuring out what they want
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: to do in life. Yeah, you know, like there's any
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: kind of transformational moment that you are having difficulty with,
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: I can absolutely walk you through step by step.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: That it's so interesting you say that because we're going
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: to do a little advice portion. People wrote in and
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: I was shocked. I thought a lot of times when
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: I do this, people have relationship questions. The number one
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: question was how do I know if I should leave
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: my job, what I want to do?
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: How can I find my purpose? That was it. So
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: we're going to dig into that.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, you mentioned your thirtieth birthday, but I'm curious what
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: your first steps to healing really looked like.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Admitting that there was a problem. We can't heal anything
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: we don't admit, you know what I mean, Like, if
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: we're in denial, there's no use in pretending to heal anything.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: Nothing will get solved. So as hard as it is
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: to face yourself in the mirror and admit the things
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: that need to be changed.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: It has to start with that.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: When you launched you bloom on Instagram, one of the
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: things you talked about was being your authentic self and
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: feeling liberated sexually as a woman. Yeah, which I thought
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: was such an interesting thing to include, and it made
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: me think about sexuality versus being sexualized.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a deep conversation and there's a thin line
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: really between the two.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, how do you think about it?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Because your job, like in a lot of ways, your
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: modeling is very sexy.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: It is, and I also had a hard time with
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: that because that's always been authentically a part of who
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: I am. It's just I've always gravitated to the sexier
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: side of things, the darker side of things. That's just
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: who I am naturally. Yeah. So when I was going
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: through you Bloom, I really had to sit with myself.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: And I credit my cousin Audio for this, and I
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: was very honest with her and I was like, you know,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: I don't know what to do because is this something
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: branding wise I'm gonna have to change? Am I going
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: to have to not model what I want to model
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: or where what I want to wear because I'm making
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: that transition into life coaching. This was like a whole
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: thing for me because inside it was like this internal
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: battle and I get it, yeah, because you know, it's people.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: You know again, it's the there's judgment, honestly, there is,
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Like let's be real. And that's why I put up
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: that post because you know, I told her how I
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: felt and she's like, nah, it's like that's a part
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: of who you are. And if you I want this
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: brand you Bloom to be authentic, you have to show
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: up authentically.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: In every way the word I know, No, I don't.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I don't even know. She remembers saying that to me,
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: but of course I remember, and she was like, you
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: do such a good job at balancing the two. Keep
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: doing what you're doing, Like, don't feel like you have
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: to pick between the two. You can recreate. There's no
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: mold for this, make your own. And that's like what
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: I'm doing. And that's why I put that post up,
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: because we can be sexual beings we are and us women,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: like a lot of us, don't talk about.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: It at all, No, because you're still judged in twenty
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: twenty two, and there's an element to of like, I
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: guess in my job, I want to be taken seriously
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: so badly that it's like if you wear a low
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: cut shirt, all of a sudden, you're not.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and no, that's just like that doesn't sit well
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: with me. Why can't we be sexual beings who are intelligent,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: who are hardworking, who have worked for what we have.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: We're out there, you know why?
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Because the standard is male. No, so as soon as
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: the feminine is accepted, there will be.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: A new standard.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely. It's also very outdated. Yeah, the societal standards
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: are very outdated still and we're going backwards, Like don't
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: even get me started on abortion. Oh my god, I
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: will like, oh my god, like we are going backwards
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: and that does not sit right with me.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: What's that guy? You know, Tradmus he predicted it, which
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: is so crazy.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: As mean, this is wild. I don't know, I just it.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: But it starts with us, right, It all starts with
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: us and being leaders and be like you know what,
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: I am this and I am that, and I'm gonna
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: put it out there and you're just gonna have to
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: deal with it and if you don't like it, sorry, Like.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I am so wholeheartedly behind you, and I think you're
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: an amazing person to spear had that change.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you that I think is part of your purpose maybe.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: I hope, so I hope. So yeah, I'm definitely gonna
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: get into it more and ease into it.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: I'm not like we're let's all like go crazy.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Go extreme, Like I'm not like, well, you're not an extreme.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: So I think as long as it's authentically you push
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: the envelope, you know, like be be all of you
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: all the things, I think it's really important.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I love this quote that life isn't about finding yourself,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: it's about creating yourself. I have taken my favorite attributes
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: of some of my favorite people and tried to model
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: them in my life. Who are two people in your
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: life that you've really looked to to create parts of you?
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Only two? That's hard, you know. Again, growing up, my
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: mother played such a role in how I carry myself
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: and that never left me, you know, and teaching me,
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: you know, morals and how to treat people right and
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: you know, be kind like all those things, you know,
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: and of course so her. But currently I have such
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: a tight core group of girlfriends that I've been friends
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: with for like over ten years. I mean, we're like
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: so solid. And then I have my cousin, who, you know,
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: my whole life, you know, so it's like that whole
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: group for me. We all bring different things to the table,
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: which is like grounds you yeah, yeah, everyone, and they're
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: very Everyone is very brutally honest. That's big, yes, Like
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: you have to be honest with your friends.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: This is so interesting because I was going to get
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: into the advice have seven questions and I added one
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: of mine okay, and it was about this really, so
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I'll change the orders.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: So my friend was going through a situation with a guy, okay,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: and I was listening and listening, and I so badly
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: wanted to say his ambivalence and his like non answer
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: to what you're asking him is the answer, And I didn't.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I just sat and listened.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, And I thought to myself, sometimes you want just
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: like a witness to your pain. Yes, And sometimes like
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: if it were me, I'd want her to say it, Okay.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Are you the friend that listens, like.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: What do you do?
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: I am the friend that listens completely. I'm an observant
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: person right just by nature. And for the longest growing up,
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't say anything. I would just be the shoulder,
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: you know. Or I would wait till they has got
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: really really bad, and then I'd like, you know, blah
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: blah blah blah. Now that I've gotten older, and now
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: that I'm in a very different place mentally in my
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: career is very different. Now, I'm like, do you want
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: to hear my opinion?
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: I ask? Oh, I like that, I ask.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: So it's like, Okay, do you want to hear where
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: I'm coming from? Or do you just need a safe
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: place to vent? That's where I'm at right now.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: That's a beautiful way of.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Handling and it's not always that way, like with my
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: closest friends, Like sometimes you just gotta say it, like
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: I'm just like okay, but yeah, you just have to
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: say it right. But sometimes you know I instinctually A'm like, okay,
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: do you just want to vent or you want to
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: hear what I have.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: To say about this? So ask the question? So simple
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: and so good. Yeah okay, yeah crazy a route Nazanine.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: You seem so connected to yourself.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: What's one thing you do every day that you would
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: say aligns you with your purpose or helps you reach
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: your full potential?
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: Ooh, not every day, but fitness. I know if I
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: am consistent with fitness, my mind, body, spirit, everything's going
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: to be connected. Like I need to like move my body,
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: I need to be outside. I need nature like I
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: love to hike. I love to be outside. I love
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: a good sunset, like it makes me so fulfilled. So
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: not every day because sometimes I'm tired, I don't have time,
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: but majority it's fitness.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Jamie wrote children, I'm thirty five, and I keep going
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: I keep going back and forth on if I want kids,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: and I'm constantly worried about not being able to have
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: kids if I wait too long to make the decision.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: It feels like it'll be made for me. How can
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I take control and really figure out what's right for me?
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Well, I think she needs to ask herself through reason
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: why she's having a hard time deciding. Is it her partner?
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Is it her career? Is it just fear of being
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: a mother, because that's scary. You know, you're caring for
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: somebody's life for ever, you know what I mean? That's
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: the responsibility? Is it the responsibility you're afraid of? Like
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: you gotta find the root fear? What is it? What
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: is the root fear?
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: What is stopping you?
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: That? Is it?
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: Good? Because I'm in the same boat. Like I understand
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: where she's coming from.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Right, It's like, is it a time of life? Is
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: it financial? Is it exactly?
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Is it your partner?
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Is he or she? Do you feel like they won't
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: be as committed as you? You know what I mean? Like,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: are you afraid you won't find the balance? That's another
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: thing that.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I think about all of these me too. I know
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: it is so scary, it's.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: Intense, I know, so I totally get where she's coming from.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: If she has the means, I would say freeze your eggs.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: You know, if that is something that she is able
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: to do. Yeah, that's something that I've definitely considered doing,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: which is another thing I have to get to, you
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: know what I mean.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: That's like a whole month process, right, It's very definitely
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: worth it, of course, But if she has the means
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: and the access, I would consider that too. Okay, Yeah,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: So much of success in life hinges on support and community.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I've never understood that more than when I launched Pretty Smart.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Here's what I mean. As a TV host, my work
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: was fast paced research, study, produce stories or interviews for
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: the next day, get out into the field and do them, post,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: produce and repeat. And when I launched the podcast, I
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: was doing all that, but once I put the episodes out,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: there was a feedback loop.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: It was all about you engaging.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: Interacting, fostering the Pretty Smart team, the community.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: I never experienced anything like it. And that's where squarespace
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: comes in.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Squarespace provides me with the infrastructure to build upon the
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: community that the podcast has cultivated. Once the pod goes out,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: it's my lifeline to what you like, what you don't like.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: I love getting messages about the episodes hearing your reflections
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: are favorite moments from the guests. They come right to
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: my phone from the contact box. Squarespace also allows you
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: to take it a step further with email campaigns. Once
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: people are in touch with you, you can transform those
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: interactions into email subscribers. When I launched the Pretty Smart
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: limited edition sweatshirts, I started with a Squarespace email template,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: customized it with my brand logo and colors, and press send.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: And the platform has built in analytics, so I measure
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: the impact of every email in message to learn where
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: the site visits and sales are coming from.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: That means I can determine what's working and what I
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: can work on.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Squarespace Acts is my community hub. The all in one
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: platform is my lifeline to my pretty Smart People. Head
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: to squarespace dot com slash pretty Smart for a free trial,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: and when you're ready to launch, use offer code pretty
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Smart to save ten percent off your first purchase of
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: a website or domain. Jillian wrote, I think the biggest
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: piece of advice I'd want from anyone is how to
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: live in the present.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: I know this is so big for Nazanine.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: She even posted an astrology thing today talking about what's
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: to come. So I feel like she's working on this too.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I am, And there's no better person to ask than someone.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: Who's doing the work presently.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she said, I get so flustered thinking about everything
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: I have to get done, or get so upset thinking
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: about something that happened forever ago. And my therapist always
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: says focus on the present, but doesn't give advice on how.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: So Nazanine, what do you do to focus on this?
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: It's self awareness, like catching the thought. And I've had
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: to teach myself that catching a thought is constant work.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: I like that so much. It's like it's just recognized.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's like, oh no, we're here. We're here right now, Like,
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow is coming if we're
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: fortunate enough, right and you're gonna have to get the
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: work done. But right now you're here, you know what
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: I mean, So be here And it's so hard for me,
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Oh my god. But catching the thought helps awareness.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Catching it and bringing it back to where you are.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Really, I also, and I don't know if it's
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: like a subconscious thing. I surround myself with people who
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: love to live in the moment.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: I do the same thing because I'm not good at it.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm horrible at it.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Do look like I look for men huh, because I'm
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: single who live in the present, because it like helps me.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, seeing that's smart, and I do the same thing
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: with my girlfriends. I love to watch people live out loud,
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: so that helps me too, though, you know. That's yeah,
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: Like my cousin's a great example. Like she's a live
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: in the moment kind of girl. And if I'm having
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: an off day, or if we're out or traveling or whatever,
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: and you know, or we're at a club and she'll
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: be like come on, Like it's like she gets the
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: party going right, and you need people like that in
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: your life.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: That actually gives me a lot of peace. Thank you
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: for that, of course.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think it's important to like mix it up,
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: So Jessica said, I've been with my boyfriend for two years.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: There's so much good he's truly the best. But the
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: thought of getting engaged makes me anxious. How the hell
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: does anybody know for sure? That seems like a myth?
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: What are the things that have to be there? How
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: can I even begin to make this choice?
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: That's such a personal question. You know, honestly, life is
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: so short and everyone, like everyone makes mistakes, and even
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: if this doesn't work out, at least you made a
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: at least the mistake was rooted in love, right that
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: you took a chance. I would say, if he's a
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: great person, if he's an amazing partner to you, if
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: you guys have the same values, he treats you well,
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: like if all of those things aligne, I would take
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: the chance. Why not?
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I really like that answer.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I just if the core values
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: are all there and he is a good man. You
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: only live once, and if it doesn't work out, then
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: it doesn't work out, Like.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Because so many people, I think, would say if you
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: don't know, then it's a no.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't agree.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: I don't agree with that either. A lot of us
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: get in our own way and we self sabotage and
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: we may think we don't know, or we may think
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: we have all these options or like you know, it's
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: there's we could make up a million reasons, right, and
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: so we're like, oh, I don't know, but if you
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: write it out even on paper, which I would actually suggest,
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: and there's more good than bad, like take the chance.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: She might be missing out on something really great because
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: she's overthinking it.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love it.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: That's what I would. I mean, I did so, so yeah,
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: you took the lead I took.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: I also think taking the severity out of right and
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: wrong choices that there are just just like that. Really,
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: I used to think there was like only one right answer,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: and it's not true.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: There isn't and that's relative, and it depends on where
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: we are in our lives, you know, as long as
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: the choices aren't detrimental, like some people do make really
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: shitty choices that like really alter their life. Yeah, and
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: you can't reverse it, you know, like it. It depends
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: on the depth of the choice, right, that's to me
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: it does anyways, so really well seen.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Charer wrote, I feel stuck and unfulfilled in
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: my job. Stuck because by all accounts, it's a prestigious
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: job title and salary, but it's not what I want
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: to be doing, and I feel deeply unfulfilled ninety percent
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: of the time. The problem is I don't know the
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: answer to the question, well, what do you want to do?
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: What do you see yourself doing? What are some actionable
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: ways I can discover my purpose or a job that
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I can be passionate about.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: I think it starts with again being aware of what
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: fills your cup personally, what excites you, what lights that
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: fire within you. You have to start there, like what
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: are things that you like to do and you're like, wow,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: I even forgot about time and other things I had
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: to do because I love doing this so much, and
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: go from I would start there.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Someone I read this summer.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I think Alex Benian, he's an author, said for thirty days,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: write down at night what lit me up today and
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: what drained me today. I love that, And after thirty days,
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: see where the consistencies are exactly.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I think we have to really listen to
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: our intuition and understand the feelings that we feel when
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: we do certain things. We know when we don't like something,
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: we don't always listen. Yeah, but we know.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: This is also just a plug coming from me that
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: because this was a very part I got this question
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: in like a multitude of different ways that it sounds
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: like they should sign up for you bloom that this
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: is like something where you can take them step by step.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: To absolutely absolutely if you need help finding your passion,
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: purpose career, like I was trained to help you find
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: that step by step. Yeah, you know it's and it
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: takes time. Like these results don't happen overnight. That's another thing.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: A lot of people feel like.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: Right, you want an answer immediately, and you're not always
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: going to find things immediately.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: It's not how the world works. Things take time.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Good things take time to absolutely.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Persia wrote, if people around you have constantly betrayed you,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: how do you come back from that and not have
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: your guard up?
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: I'm really struggling.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: Hmm. You have to remember, hurt people. Hurt people, And
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: I know that quote is so cliche, but it is
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: so true. It is you know, they're projecting if you
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: didn't do anything, they're absolutely projecting, and that's their own
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: personal issue and you can't carry that with you. You
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: can't take what other people do to you personally. That's
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: a big thing for me.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: That is so huge.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: I also think with women and infidelity, it becomes incredibly complicated.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, and I've been there, and you blame yourself or
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: what am I not doing too? Yeah, and it's it
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: has nothing to do with you, you know, it's it's
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: only later can you see that though, Yeah, yeah, you're like,
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: I wasn't this enough. I wasn't right, you know, it's
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: it's It also helps if you have a partner who
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: admits it and who is like, you know, I did
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: this out of my own insecurity, it has nothing to
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: do with you. That also helps. But if you don't
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: have that partner, you have to understand that in some
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: cases things are missing if it comes to infidelity. In
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: other cases there's not and they are unfulfilled within themselves.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: So you have to differentiate the two. You have to
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: understand your partner huge.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I'm about to get married and I can't
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: decide if I want to take my husband's last name.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Ooh, this is interesting.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: This is gonna be good, she said.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: It feels exciting to become a unit and I'm proud
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: to have his name. And at the same time, I
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: feel sad losing my family name and the identity that
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I've spent thirty one years cultivating.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, I am. I feel a couple of ways about this. Yeah,
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: I love tradition, I understand it, but I also feel
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: like taking somebody's last name is outdated. I feel like
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: it is such a personal choice and nobody should influence
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: that choice. I think this is a very deep conversation
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: you should have with your future husband, get his feelings
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: on it. Maybe you want to add keep your last
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: name and add his, do you know what I mean?
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: There's ways to compromise. But it's such a personal choice,
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no one size fits all. It has to
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: feel right to you.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And also, like it is a lot of work
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: to change your last name.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: They people have told me that it's a lot of
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: It is, like you have to like fill out a
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: lot of doctums, a.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: Lot you have to go to Like it's just more
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: things women have to do.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so you know, and it's worth it. Like
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's not, but is it worth it
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: to you? And do not make that choice based on
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: outdated societal standards, Make it based on your heart.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: Kelsey wrote, nas if you could go back to thirty
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: year old you, what would you advise yourself?
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh, what would I advise my myself? Well? I
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: would tell myself that everything is going to be okay,
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: that things are going to get crazy, and to follow
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: my intuition and to put myself first. That part, Yeah,
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: I didn't start putting myself first until last year, and
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: my life is completely transformed.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: For the better.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like it's really happy to hear that, really crazy,
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: like the things that I'm attracting and the people and
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: the opportunities and the self love and the worthiness and
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: it's so crazy. Like boundaries are life changing, but we boundary.
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: We have to be ready to set them.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you have to mean them.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: Yes, and you absolutely have to mean them. And it's
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: you could have everyone around you being like you need
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: to set this and you need to do that and
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah blah. But if you're not ready,
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: it's not gonna work. You're gonna keep going in circles.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: You're gonna always be on the roller coaster. Get off
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: the roller coaster and set the fucking brown dreams. Hell.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we couldn't end on a better note. I have
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: a quick rapid fire for you. Do you ever feel
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: lonely in all of this?
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I feel lonely a lot. I like, thank God
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: for my family. They're like the root of everything for me.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: It's been a very lonely journey.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Well, there's so few people who understand it.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I wasn't. I wasn't opening up, so
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: it made things even lonelier. Now I'm opening up and
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: especially to like my family and best friends. Now the
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: connections are becoming so much deeper, more fulfilling, that the
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: loneliness is getting not as bad subsiding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to hear. Yeah, thank you. But yeah, it's
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: been like really lonely. Yeah yeah.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: What do you tell yourself when you don't want to
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: work out?
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: Don't think about it and do it like it's go
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: do it, just go do, just go, get it over with.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: I always tell myself, just go do fifteen minutes, and
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: then by the time I'm there, I'm happy.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: That's smart.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: I learned it from some I read it.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: In some macue. No, that's so smart. I'm gonna, you
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: know what, I'm gonna tell one of my friends that.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Because she say, because I could have even ten minutes,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: like go walk, yeah yeah, go wan, you're out, yes exactly.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: Who in Hollywood was a surprising friend someone that you
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: didn't expect to click with.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: But did Ooh, this isn't surprising because I knew her,
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: you know, for many years, just like here and there.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: But Cassie, but it's not surprising, like her and I
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: get along so well and we have a lot in common,
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: and you know, she has her two beautiful girls and family,
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: and it's you know, I'm just so proud of her.
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: But her and I have gotten our friendship has built,
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: and I don't know, I just like she's a really
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: good person.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think every woman on the internet is rooting.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: For her time all the time, as they should be.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: I agree they should be. Okay, let me tell you, like,
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: yeahs as they should.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: If you mentioned her name, everyone's like, go get that joy.
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So yeah, our friendship has definitely grown over the years,
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: and I'm just really proud of her. Yeah.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: A book that changed your life?
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, a book that changed I have so many books.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: One book that I just finished and I've read it
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: twice already. It's called Life Coaching for Successful Women. She
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: was actually a guest. Valerie Burton was a guest on
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: Naughty and Ice podcast Ladies Like Us, and she came
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: on the week after I actually got certified. So it
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: was a really special episode because I was like, oh
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: my god, I just got certified, and I had all
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: these questions for her and she's a really amazing person
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: who's been through a lot, but she wrote this book
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: and it's more than just life coaching, it's life lessons
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: and the way she words things is so relatable and touching.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: And that book will sit with me forever.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: I haven't heard of it, so thank you. Yeah, yeah,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: it's beautiful. What is the smartest decision you've ever made recently?
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: To pick myself?
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: That's really powerful.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a hard decision.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Why was it hard.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: Because it's very life altering. But I knew that I
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: had to pick myself and I was ready. And I
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: know this is going to sound so so stupid, but
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: I was driving to my best friend's house the other day.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: It was August seventh, Like I'll never forget this day,
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: August seventh, and you know, I've been going through a lot,
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: a lot of transitions. And I pulled up to her
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: place and like the sun was going going down, and
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: I was just like, wow, this is like the first
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: time I've actually felt like a grown woman who's making
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: very grown decisions and standing firm in my truth and
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: my purpose. Like it was like it clicked, and I
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: felt so liberated and empowered.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: And I just.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I know I'm on the right path, and.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: I think your path will make other people know that
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: it's possible too. Yeah, absolutely, because it is.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: It's possible for all of us. You just really have
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: to believe in yourself at the end of the day.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: It's in its persistence, right, it's cultivating those tools.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're gonna hear know a lot no matter
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: what you do in life, like you're gonna hear no
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: a lot.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: And it's okay, gotta push past the no.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: You gotta keep going. Yes, it's coming exactly exactly, and
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: know is just another opportunity to open a door.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: That is a yes. Right, last question, I always do
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: a pretty smart card.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: Oh cool, Oh you're just so good?
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, okay, which everyone speaks to you. That's it.
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: That one. What piece of pop culture a movie, TV show, album,
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: book made you feel like you belonged? You know what
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: movie really changed my life when I was a kid,
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: and I've watched a million times because I related to
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: the younger hers so much. Was Selena.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: Love that?
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that movie. I remember watching it and you know
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: when she's a kid in the movie, and I was like,
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: she reminded me so much of myself and the passion
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: and the excitement to sing music, and you know, her
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: father reminded me of my mom, and it was there
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: were so many things that were aligned, and to this
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: day that movie is just one of my favorites of
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: all times. So I would say Selena's Mexican. It's just
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: there are so many things. So yeah, the culture. I
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: was like, oh, okay, I get it, like.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, you saw yourself yeah in that.
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: Thank you of course, thank you.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: This has been an amazing interview and always like the
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: kindest human being.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: Thank you you.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: Bloom launches on November first, and I've added the link
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: to sign up in the show notes if you're interested,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: And I want to thank the people that make the
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: show possible. Colleen O'Neill, Jill Slama, Carrie O'Keefe and Phil's
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: feed Tech.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: To have a good day.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next week.