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How to get a Narcissist to Leave You Alone For Good · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about how to get a narcissist to
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  stop hoovering you. In essence, how to get them to
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  leave you to hell alone. How to get your toxic
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  narcissistic partner or parent or Co worker or friend, whoever
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  they are. How to get them to leave you to
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  hell alone, to stop the Hoover, to stop it, to just cut it off
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  for good, to end it for good. How, how, how Lee, tell us.
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  I'm going to tell you, just calm down a little bit.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. Yo, seriously, this is one of
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  the questions that I get a lot of and I put this in the comment
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  section a little while ago, but I'm going to start kind of
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  redoing my older videos with new perspective on top of them.
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  Like I know a lot of my older videos have been around for
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  years and I look at them, I'm like, I got new perspective on
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  that. I don't want to do it again
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  though, but I have to do it again.
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  People said yes, so leave a thumbs up in the comment
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  section. You want me to redo some of the
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  old classics on my channel and whatnot?
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  YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, whatever, but y'all hoovering.
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  If you don't know what hoovering is, it's the Hoover vacuum
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  cleaner. They're trying to suck you back
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  into the relationship. They're trying to suck you back
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  into their life. They're trying to suck you back
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  into their space in some way, shape or form.
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  This is a tactic that a lot of narcissistic people do.
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  They don't look out. They don't want to get you.
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  They don't want to leave you alone.
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  Most narcissists are going to try to Hoover you.
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  They're going to try to come back.
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  Not every single one of them is going to be the same, I promise
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  you. No2 narcissists are the same, so
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  no two narcissists are going to do the same.
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  Some of them will absolutely leave you alone while others
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  while others will absolutely keep doing this copy while
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  others will just refuse to leave you alone.
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  Others will keep doing the same type of shit that you try to
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  suck you back into their life. But how do you get how do you
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  get it to stop? The first thing you can do
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  y'all, is stand up for yourself and tell them to stop.
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  Yeah, seriously, you can tell them to leave you the hell
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  alone. You know what I mean?
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  You can tell them to leave you alone.
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  That's the first thing you can do.
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  Of course, not everybody had like leave.
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  That sounds so rudimentary. Most people would say that in
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  the 1st place. Yeah, some people have problems
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  standing up for themselves and they expect the relationship,
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  when it's over for the narcissistic person to leave
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  them alone. And they don't want to.
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  They don't have to ever really say it.
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  They're afraid to say it. They're afraid to tell this
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  person no. They're afraid to stand up for
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  themselves. So if you're one of those people
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  who was a people pleaser or yes man or whatever the situation
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  may be, you're afraid to stand up for yourself.
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  You're going to have to get you going to have to get a little
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  bit of backbone and tell them to leave you the hell alone.
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  That's the best one. First and foremost.
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  It might shock them if they're so used to you giving them what
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  they want and to giving in to what they asked for and giving
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  in to their demands or whatever the case may be.
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  They'll be shocked when you tell them to leave you the hell
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  alone. They'll be like, wait, what?
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  Leave you alone? After all we have been through
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  together, you want to leave you alone?
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  Wow, wow, I can't believe that. I can't believe that right
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  there. I can't believe you leave you
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  alone. Wow, you, you really messed up.
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  You really are messed up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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  So, so many people will do the same thing over and over again.
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  They you have to tell them to leave you alone to get them to
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  stop hoovering you, to get them to stop trying to suck you back
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  in. You have to stand up for
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  yourself. You have and you might have to
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  repeat it more than once. Leave me alone.
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  Stop stop messaging me, stop emailing me, stop texting me.
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  Stop whatsapping me. Stop sending me money on PayPal.
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  Stop requesting money for me on cash app to get me to talk to
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  you lead get. Sometimes you got to tell them
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  to leave you the hell alone. You can use the F if you be
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  cussy. You can use the F for you can
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  say you leave me alone. You can say leave me alone.
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  You can say it if you want to, if you need to, right?
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  If it's in your heart, say it because they're going to say
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  like I'm, I promise you, if they feel like you're getting on
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  their nerves and you're doing something to them, they're going
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  to say it to you. That's one thing I can, I can
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  guarantee they go, they would say it to you, right?
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  So that's something that you have to absolutely think about
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  and that you have to absolutely consider as well, because they
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  would absolutely say it to you. They would tell you to leave
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  them alone if the, if the situation were flopped over and
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  switched over and whatnot. So that's the first thing you
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  can do. Tell them, leave it alone, take
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  away y'all. Not everybody will cross this.
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  Not everybody will cross this threshold right here.
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  But the second thing you can do is you might have to call the
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  damn police on their asses. Let's be real.
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  You might have to call the police on them.
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  You might have to get law enforcement involved.
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  You might have to call their job if they work for the government
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  or something along those lines. You might have to do that type
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  of stuff. And I know people, some people,
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  you don't want to do it. I really don't want to have to
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  do that. You don't want to do it, but
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  sometimes being realistic, you have to because they won't like
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  y'all. Sometimes they won't take your
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  no for an answer. They don't think you know what's
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  look. They think they know what's
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  better for you than what you do, right.
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  They think they know what's best for you better than you do.
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  So a lot of times they'll just keep doing the same type of
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  stuff over and over again to try to wear you down, to try to do
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  this type of stuff right here. A lot of times they'll do it,
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  they'll say it, they'll keep they'll keep things going on
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  that way. So this is something that you
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  have to decide for yourself as well when you're dealing with
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  this abusive, manipulative person.
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  It's just like, I hate the hate down.
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  You know what, maybe I have to call the police.
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  Maybe I do have to call the their chain of command if
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  they're in the military. Maybe I do have to call their
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  boss if they have a government job or a federal job or whatever
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  the case might be. And nowadays, you know, that
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  shit might not even matter with the way the the way the
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  government going in the US, You calling the government, you
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  might get in worse trouble. Like, oh, they work for us.
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  We got, we going, we going to help them.
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  So that we got to be careful in these situations nowadays with
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  this crazy shit going on now. But yeah, that's the way it goes
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  right there. That's the mindset, that's the
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  mentality of so many narcissistic people.
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  You have to force them to leave you alone.
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  And by force, you might have to call the police force.
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  You might have to get a restraining order.
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  And y'all, restraining orders or not restraining orders, but
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  being realistic or not, restraining orders are not force
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  fields. They're just pieces of paper.
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  They're a boundary set by the government.
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  The government would tell you what to do with their
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  restraining order, right? The government would just order.
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  The law enforcement would just, hey, you can't come within 5
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  feet of me and whatnot. This, this debt and the third,
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  this is what goes on. This is what happens.
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  So sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone.
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  You have to, you have to, you have to, but also y'all, another
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  way to get them to leave you alone, to get them to stop
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  hoovering is broom drum roll. Figure out what type of supply
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  that they're getting from you, right?
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  Figure out what type of narcissistic supply that they're
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  getting from you and cut it off. If it's financial, if you're
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  giving them money and you or you taking care of them or you're
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  supporting them and they won't leave you alone because of that,
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  hey, you got to find a way to cut that off.
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  If it's in the bedroom supply, sexual supply, you got to cut it
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  off. I know.
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  Yeah. Well, Lee, it's so good.
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  The cheeks be clapping and the clapping of the cheeks and you
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  got to have some type of discipline in there in the
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  bedroom. If you don't have bedroom
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  discipline, you're going to lose 100 out of 100 times, I promise
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  you. And a narcissistic person is not
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  going to care. They're going to keep doing the
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  same thing over and over again. But that's that's what happens.
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  But also, I'll say this as well. Yeah, when you're dealing with a
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  manipulative, abusive narcissist, another thing that
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  comes across the mind when you're dealing with that is that
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  figure out the supply, like the supply just might be you talking
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  to them, right? You might you, you talking to
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  them, your voice, your engagement with them might be,
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  like I said, it might actually be the only thing that they they
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  sticking around for. They want to engage with you.
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  They want to talk to you. They want to be around you, they
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  want to deal, they want to deal with you and things of that
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  nature. So there might be a piece of it
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  as well. So that's something you have to
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  think about too. Like this narcissistic person,
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  whatever they have going on, whoever they are, this is
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  something that they might be wanting as well.
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  They might just try to keep you around because you, you, you,
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  you validate them like your, your presence in their life is
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  validated enough for them to keep you around.
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  So think about that too. You might have to cut that off
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  and another way out and this might be, again, I know I talked
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  about telling their job on the calling of their job and
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  whatnot. That can work.
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  But another thing that could work, but you also have to stay
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  as safe as possible is exposing them.
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  We're going to get you to leave you alone, but they all this
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  doesn't work for everybody. Again, let me say it again, this
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  will not work for everybody. Exposing some people, exposing
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  some narcissists could put you in danger, right?
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  This could absolutely bring danger to your life.
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  So exposing them, you have to be very considerate of what you're
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  going to do once you expose them, once you decide to try to
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  expose them and whatnot. So I would say this, once you
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  decide to expose their narcissist, be careful.
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  And I say expose them. It doesn't.
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  It's to their job. They chain the command.
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  Their like I said, their job, they chain the command.
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  But sometimes you can do it on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,
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  whatever, right? If you expose them again, y'all,
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  some of them could absolutely snap and lose their damn minds.
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  But a lot of them will be be in check because they don't want
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  the world to know who they really are.
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  Your narcissistic partner or ex or whoever they are.
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  They don't, they don't want people to know who they really
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  are. So they sneak it.
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  They do this sneaky type of stuff.
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  They, they, they're behind the scenes abusers.
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  They're in public, nice guys, nice girls, right?
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  Nice people, but behind the scenes, they're abusive as hell,
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  They're manipulative as hell. They're damn, they're evil,
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  right? They're evil, they're abusive,
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  they're manipulative. They just, they're horrible
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  people behind the scenes. So that's something you have to
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  think of too. Like when you're dealing with
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  this manipulative, abusive person, that's something you
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  have to consider. Like exposing them could ruin
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  them. And if they have nothing less
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  than left to lose, they might try to take you on up out of
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  here. So again, be very careful you
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  decide to expose them because if they have nothing to lose, they
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  might try to take you enough out of here.
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  So I was just saying it right there because narcissistic
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  people, they Hoover you because they think a lot of them Hoover
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  you because they're not they're not done with you.
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  But a lot of them also think that you belong to them.
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  So they think you own them right?
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  A lot of them do think that they own you that you belong to them.
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  So no matter how long y'all been apart right they think you
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  belong to them. So that ownership, it's kind of
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  like it has to be snapped in some way, shape or form.
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  The ownership has to be done away with.
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  You have to get rid of this ownership mindset that they have
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  in order to get them and finally leave you alone for good.
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  But I'll also add this part as well.
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  Don't reverse Hoover yourself. In reverse, Hoover means you
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  reaching out to them, you connected with them, you
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  contacting them after they've disappeared on you, after they
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  look, they went silent on you and now you feel the need that
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  you need to reach out to them. You feel the need to call them.
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  You feel the need to contact them.
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  So you're contacting them, you're reaching out to them and
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  then you suck yourself back to the relationship.
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  You in order to stop hoovering yourself, you have to tell
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  yourself the truth about who they are, they self, the truth
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  that they're not going to get better yourself.
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  The truth that this person is always going to be the exact
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  same way and there's nothing that you can do to change them,
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  that they're not going to change that just because they don't
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  Hoover you, it doesn't determine your own worth.
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  Because so many people attribute their own worth and value to
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  whether or not their abusive, manipulative, narcissistic ex
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  tries to Hoover them back in. Hoover is not a sign of your
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  worth or value or true worth or value, right?
• 12:01
  Anyway, y'all, if you enjoyed this video, hit that subscribe
• 12:03
  button, hit a thumbs up, leave a comment and whatnot.
• 12:06
  We're inching closer to the half a Millie, but we'll get this in
• 12:09
  the letter regardless. Thank you for tuning in and
• 12:12
  tuning this up. Peace.
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  What's going on? Beautiful folks.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
• 12:20
  If you haven't already, hit that subscribe button.
• 12:22
  You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
• 12:26
  It really does help the channel y'all y'all?
• 12:27
  It helps me reach more people as well.
• 12:29
  Also, I have coaching my courses and my support group available
• 12:32
  at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much.
• 12:36
  Make sure you stick around, watch another video or two.
• 12:38
  I appreciate it. I'm out.