Latest / Walking Manifestator Podcast- Aligning Mindset with Spirituality / 117:The Story You're Telling Yourself Is Keeping You Stuck
Transcript
- Alexa: if the biggest thing that is standing between you and the life that you're praying for is not the actual finances that you're hoping to acquire, ⁓ the fact that you need another degree, ⁓ your past, or the current circumstances that you're experiencing in your reality? What if the story that you've been telling yourself about who you are ⁓ the thing that is actually standing in between your prayer? Actually coming true, and you just being in this state where you don't really know when it's going to happen and why it happens for other people and why you feel like you're left behind and why things feel so stuck. You see, most people don't realize they're living from an identity that they did not consciously choose. You're like, what does that even mean, Alexa? Simplify it to me. Okay, so. Your identity, aka the way that you are, the way that you behave, the way that you react with people, was actually given by the people that you looked up at, meaning your parents, your teachers, your people that actually fostered you, the people that you grew up with, the people that you grew up seeing, whether it was good people or bad people that were doing things that were not necessarily in alignment, you Created an identity based off what you saw growing up. This is why they say kids don't do what you tell them to do, they do what they see you do. And today we're going to uncover why so many people are trapped in survival. Even when life begins to improve, they come back down and they sabotage their progress. So If you stick with me until the end, I am going to share some key points of how your childhood has actually been defining your future and how you can change it. What actually changing the meaning of your past experiences can do when it comes to your future, and five practical steps to stop living in this victim mentality and actually become the author of your book. Now The first thing we need to understand is what your identity actually is and how it has come to be. And I want to start with scripture really quick. On Romans 12:2, it says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Dr. Leaf on her book, ⁓ Switching Your Brain On, she talks about this. I highly recommend you read the book, but to simplify it right now. That passage, renewing of your mind, actually means what you're focusing on, what you're constantly thinking about. When you're always focusing on what somebody else has and what you don't have, on how somebody else got the better car and you still don't have it, or how that other person is making more money and you're not making more money, that creates lack. This is why there's so many people out there that are working so hard. Like they're literally burning themselves to the ground working. And I know far too well what that looks like. I started working since I was 14. My first job, I started officially, I had just turned 15. I was 14 at the end of my 14 years old. I got into it 15 years old. And I remember like having to hustle really hard for like my money at that time. And I remember that even now looking back at it, the amount of energy that I exerted doing those activities. Does not come close to the level of work that I put into my work now. And I make, I mean, a thousand times more than I was making at that job. Why is that relevant? Well, because it proves that if people actually were compensated simply for the hard work that they do, the people that are the most underprivileged people in the world would be the billionaires, trillionaires, but they're not. Why? Because that's not the way it works. When you're always struggling, find like in your mind, when you're always telling yourself these lack, limitations, beliefs, that is actually what you end up creating in your reality. Now, this is really where psychology gets into it. By the age of seven, okay? Like I want you to really understand this whole identity that you have. More. Of the thoughts that you've had, the majority of everything that you've been seeing, everything that you've heard, everything that your parents told you that was good or wasn't good, has actually been programming your subconscious. And it has already shapened through experiences, relationships, and meanings that you have been assigning to them. So if you constantly grew up hearing that you're not enough, that your family didn't have enough money, that people are always leaving. That success is not for people like us, or that they're just rich, that's just easier for them, or that's just what they got because everything was handed to them. Then you have created a paradigm and you believe that the people that have it are either having it because they're just lucky and that's just how the way it is, or maybe you're like me when I was younger and I used to believe that rich people were just like bad people and that the reason why they had it was because they were doing bad things for it. And I believe that. This is where your paradigm is so important for you to understand. Like a paradigm is a series of events that have happened in your life that have almost exclusive control over your habits, your habitual behavior. So aka things that have happened that have molded you to be the way you are. Now, neuroscience actually teaches us that neurons that fire together wire together. So that means that the thoughts that you are repeatedly thinking about. Are actually creating your brain's preferred pathways, meaning the preferred way of doing something. So your brain isn't trying to actually just make you more successful. What it's programmed to do is keep you safe. And for you, safety is tied into what's familiar. And this is really where if we get into like the universal laws of the universe, which can tie into scripture, can tie into science. But they're there. It's like the law of gravity. Like if you freaking jump from a rooftop, that's it, you're donezo, right? If you don't have a parachute with you, you're gone. It's just the law, right? There's laws when it comes to the energy. And this is really where if we can understand that everything begins in the mind. This is the law of materialism. Before you actually create something in your external reality. You need to be able to create it in your internal reality. Now, let's get into point number two. The meaning that you give to your past is actually what's going to shape the way that you perceive it. So you can sit here and think they did this to me, and that's why I'm not successful. I was traumatized, I was victimized, I was abandoned, whatever it is for you. And you can make that the reason why you're not successful. But at the end of the day, it's the meaning you're assigning that actually makes you successful or unsuccessful. They asked this guy that was a not like he wouldn't drink, right? And they asked him, like, why don't you drink? And he's like, Because my dad was an alcoholic. And then they ask another dude the same question, and he's an alcoholic, and he's like, they're like, Why did you drink? Why do you drink? And he's like, Well, because my dad was an alcoholic. That just goes to show you that you get to decide. Who you want to be, but ultimately it's how you're actually deciding the choices that you're making and what meaning you're assigning to the things that you went through that actually influences your future. Now, when it comes to ⁓ psychology here, Victor Frankel is someone that I highly recommend. You look at his work, he has a lot of different frames for you to understand more about like the Behavior patterns that you have been creating as you've been growing up. And he talks a lot about ⁓ the mirrors. Okay. So mirrors that are reflecting back our experiences. So our freedom lies in choosing the meaning we assign to our experiences. So the event actually doesn't imprison us. Our interpretation of that event is actually what keeps us in survival. Now Another thing to understand is that every time you revisit a memory, your brain has the opportunity to reconcile it. So you can sit there and be like, you know what? It was the worst memory, like me when I was younger and I grew up without my parents. I remember that when I would think of that, I would go into a dark place until I actually said, you know what? I'm grateful that I didn't have them because it made me the person that I am. It made me resilient. It made me have this tough skin that I have. And I'll share something that I was listening to Pastor Mike talk about earlier today. And he said that because sometimes when we're growing up, we want to give our kids like a better life, right? We try and give them everything we didn't have. But in that same token, we're not giving them everything that built us to be who we are. So this is why we need to make sure that we're teaching them to also be resilient. And be strong and independent by throwing them curveballs and not just giving them everything just because you can. It's the exact same thing that you want to actually adopt when it comes to your life. Because the moment that you continue to say, well, I don't have this because of, and then fill in the blank, you're getting into victim. Now, survival mode is something that is really important for you to also realize is happening in your day-to-day activities. If you're always focusing on everything that you're lacking, and this is from scripture, Timothy 2, 1 through 7, it says, For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but a power of love and a sound mind. And if you look up what a sound mind actually means, it's something that can actually discern between what is good and what is bad, something that is actually whole, something that is in alignment. So when you have a sound mind, that was that's what God has given you. But our thoughts, our beliefs, our interpretations of listening to the lies that whether you identify with saying Satan, whether you identify with saying like low vibration, whether you identify with saying like your lower self, whatever. It's all in my book the same thing. Okay. For me, I believe that Satan isn't walking around with the red pitchfork and like trying to make you do wrong things. It's in the little things, in the little details. And this is why it's so important for you to catch yourself because the thoughts that you're having are actually the thing that can remove you from having a sound mind, aka you get into survival mode. And neuroscience actually teaches us that the amygdala doesn't distinguish between what's real and what is fake, meaning our subconscious cannot tell between something that's actually happening and something that happened many years ago. So Every time you're replaying these thoughts, now we get into the laws of the universe again. Universal principle here, the law of vibration, it states that your vibration is going to attract something of the same energy. So the emotional state that you are repeatedly thinking about is what actually influences your life because you are co-creating. Everything is a reflection. So I want you to ask yourself. Am I actually reacting to what's happening today? Like is this happening right now? Or am I reacting to something that happened years ago? Now, point number five, ⁓ four, I'm sorry, is gratitude. So, gratitude is the very thing that is going to be the game changer for you to go from victimhood into actual abundance. And abundance can mean many things. It could be abundance of joy, abundance of serpendipity, abundance of health, of money. But for the purposes of this conversation, I want you to understand that gratitude actually broadens a tension that helps counter our brain's natural negativity bias. Like we are wired to think of the worst case scenario because of how we were raised, because of our survival of the fittest mindset in our hunting and gathering times when we had to go and hunt our buffalo to eat it. We would think like, ⁓ my God, there's a Tiger in that cave, or there's this, you know, leopard in that cave. I need to be very careful and very vigilant. So we're always thinking of the negative. It is a negative bias. Now, neuroscience teaches us that regular gratitude practice strengthens the natural pathways associated with optimism, real ⁓ resilience, and emotional regulation. AKA, the more you think about everything that you're blessed. For everything that you have, all the opportunities that you have, the easier it becomes. And this is really where we get into the laws of the universe again, understanding that what you're sending out is always what you're going to get back. Whether it's positive or negative, God is not going to make any ⁓ biases because I believe that God created the universe. So God and the universe are two very different things. But for me, it's like the universe is just like the laws that God has already encoded into the universe. So if you have free will and you have the opportunity to choose whatever you want to choose and you're putting out negativity, the universe is like, all right, we're gonna give you more of what you're sending out because you are a creator. Now, the last things I wanna leave you here with so that you can actually start changing these programmings that you have and actually get into the blessing that you're trying to call in, the manifestation that you're trying to create, is that every morning I want you to write down three things that you already have that money cannot buy, whether it's clean water, the fact that you have oxygen, a friend, wisdom, faith, a lesson that you learned, ⁓ the simple fact that you woke up, like get into the habit of thinking about those things, at least three of them every single day. Another thing is that you want to stop asking why me and ask who am I becoming? Because if transformation was just the new way of thinking of the goal, then the destination would stop being the goal. The person you're becoming would actually be the whole objective of this life. And when it comes to scripture in James 1, 2 through 4, it says, consider it. Pure joy. Whenever you face trials, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. This is really where for me, growth happens when we shift from the external locus of control. And this is like in psychological terms, which is the external locus is life is always happening to you. And the internal locus of control, it's how am I choosing to respond? And overall, these little walking manifestator challenges that I'm going to give you at the end is to really help you tie everything in. So I want you to journal these five questions. Number one, what story have I been repeating about myself? Number two, where did I first learn that story? Three, is that story actually true? Four, what is more empowering? What is a more empowering truth that aligns with who God says I am? And number five, what is one action that I can take today that proves that I believe a new story? Overall, I truly believe that one of the greatest gifts that God has given us the ability to create is the renewing of our mind. Neuroscience calls it neuroplasticity, psychology, psychology calls it, you know, cognitive reframing. Scripture calls it transformation through renewing of the mind. But overall, you are not condemned to live the same story forever. The life that you're praying for doesn't begin when your circumstances finally change. It actually begins the moment that you decide to believe a different story about who you are. And one of the greatest manifestations that you can actually become aware with, it's not a better relationship. It's not a bigger house. The greatest manifestation that you can actually create is becoming the woman that God has called you to be and form the new identity. And everything that you are looking for will be added onto you. So with that being said, I hope this conversation was valuable to even one of you guys. Thank you so much for coming back to listen to WM and being part of the journey. You guys know that everything that I share with you guys is from the heart. It's things that have changed genuinely my life and continue to help me in the moments where troubles and tribulations can be faced. But if nobody has told you this, I just want you to remember that you are loved, you are worthy, and you can absolutely manifest anything you want. I'll talk to you on the next one.