Latest / Love Matters With Leeza Mangaldas / Kenny Sebastian Opens Up About Dad Guilt & Fatherhood

Transcript

Kenny Sebastian Opens Up About Dad Guilt & Fatherhood · Love Matters With Leeza Mangaldas

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: To be left out.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you just feel like can I do something?
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: It's there's not much Like if I try to feed Emily,
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: she's a actress.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Is blame?
• 0:09
  Speaker 4: You love your child? Of course you wouldn't have it
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: any other way. Sure, but it can still be really hard.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Our parents are just like, it's amazing.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Now, it's a blessing.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: And then you feel litly bitrayed because you don't feel
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: like that. People say it's an adjustment. It's not an adjustment.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: It's a new life. An adjustment means you're doing certain
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: things and a new thing comes and you're like, oh,
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: that's not worth being apparent? Is that life is gone?
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Now it's a new life. It's you, your wife and
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: your kid. And it's not a bad thing. It's just
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: a new life.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: What advice do you have for new parents that you
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: wish someone had told.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: You You're never going to be ready. There's no right time,
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: and this is your idea. She can't blame anyone else.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: Okay, hey Kenny, welcome to love match.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I love the I love the enthusiasm and the warmth
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I have felt as I've entered into this space, So
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: thank you. I'm being serious and I'm serious. That's the
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: problem in a comedian. People think I'm joking. But it's
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: already pretty fun. And I feel like I know you
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: for a long time, even the second meeting.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: I know. But Kenny, it's been an important time. You
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: have big changes. You You are now a father, a father.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Can I call you daddy? Okay, that was just low hanging.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Tracy, I am a daddy.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Now I'm daddy.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I'm a father.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: To be honest, I've always been like daddy is always like.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I've always been the annoying, telling my roommates what to do,
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: telling my friends to invest, telling my my dad now
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: to be more careful and conscious. So I've always kind
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: of had this uncle vibe and also just a vibe,
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: and I've worked on it in therapy also because it
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: kind of created havoc in my relationships. But now I'm
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: actually the like now my skill set is aligned. Yes,
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: it's finally paying off. So it's been awesome. I couldn't
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: be more lucky to have a daughter, because Trason, I've
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: prayed for a girl.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Happy for you.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: So she's ten months now, so ten months as we speak. Somedady,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: she's going to see this, So I got to be
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: in my best baby.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: That's so sweet, that's so precious. What's her name?
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Her name is Emily? Emily Yeah, old school.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Name, adorable. Thanks for sharing that. How how's the sleeping?
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: So, to be fair, my wife is taken there.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Fall we were doing this whole staying up at night together,
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: and then we both were tired in the morning. And
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: then Tracy was just like, we both can't be tired
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: in the morning. You do the mornings and I'll do
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: the nights.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: To be sleep separately.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Now because it's also slayer kind of Emily, sleep is
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: still very bad. She gets a good night a lot
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: her night feeds us alone. So long story short, I'm
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: sleeping fine.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: That brings me to the topic of our episode today,
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: which I believe is what daddy over here I wanted
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: to talk about.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Daddy guilt.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Daddy guilt, daddy guilt.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: How does it feel to have a good night's sleep
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: while your wife has to wake up every five minutes?
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Right now, I'm feeling the guilt where I can afford to,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: like work, I'm entechling. This is work, and while my
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: wife is with Emily. So anytime I step out of
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: the house and I'm not with Emily a trace can
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: it kind of kicks in, but.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, No, no, it's fine, No, no, I.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Mean it's because of Trace I can do this. So
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: but Tercey and I have spoken about it, and she's like,
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: trust me when Emily is not as small and she's big,
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: and then the parents kind of like they kind of
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: meld into one.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: She's like, You're going to do most of it.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: So I'm I'm actually looking for it to the point
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: where I can contribute more. Right now, Emily is so
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: small that you know, at night especially, she does not
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: want anybody else.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: You just want some mom.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about the dads as well, and I'm asked them,
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: how how do you go through dad guilt? I think
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: it's a nice, unfortunately late conversation that we have recognized
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: that dads are also a very integral part of raising
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: the kid, and the guilt.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Is also such a new thing.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Right Sadly, I'm not judging parents who couldn't be there
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: because of financial reasons, because you know, both couldn't work.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: But now I think I'm very privileged, like Tercay and
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: I are in a good financial situation, so I can
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: actually do both. I can work and be with Emily.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: And Tracy's also a dentist, and so we we spoke
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: about the dad guilt because it kept coming up. And
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: then Racy was like, you you seem very.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: Affected, and I was like, yeah, you know, you want
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: to help, but there's not much you can do. So
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: then again another parent gave me great advice or just
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: just take care of the mom.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: That's your job right now. So I make sure.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Tracy is fine, and let's see you check upon me
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: in two years on the dad guilt.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: But you know, even pregnancy, it is a thing that
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: both people are going through, and then the you know,
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: parenting all of it, like the dad being some sort
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: of like financial contributor at most to the upbringing of
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: a child is like such a limited and it's not fair.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: It's actually so limiting both to the dad and the kid,
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: Like there's so much to gain from a present father, right,
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: And luckily we go to therapy and we have the
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: economic privilege and stuff to actually change that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: So I kind of feel like all the problems we
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: have is mostly to do with lack of emotional connection
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: with dads and the over emotional connection moms have. It's
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: like it's cure on both kind of. I'm just talking
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: about Indian families.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Where the moms sons, in particular.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Sons and even daughters.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: I think the moms get so much connection from the
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: kids that the dad's kind of non existent and the
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: vice of us aware dads are so emotionally dead and
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: malnourished that they just easily fall into the financial thing
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: of like, well, I provided financially, but they're also emotionally
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: dead kids also yearning for it. So I feel like
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: we have kind of grown, but now we have double
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: problems of like how do you manage a healthy, equal
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: relationship but also how do you respect traditional rules that
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: are there for a reason where a baby needs a
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: mom for a certain thing and the baby needs the
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: dad for a certain thing. So when you said that,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: my brain was just exploding.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: It's like it's a lot.
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I bet, I bet parenting is a lot, and
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: I think there isn't one right way to do it,
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: like perfection is not attainable, but we can at least
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: do our best right.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: It's the intention.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It's the intention.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: The parts can feel like hey, I'm just trying to help.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Sorry if I messed up, but you know the intention.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Is to exactly exactly.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: So what are some of the things you think when
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: you said you know the child needs the mom for
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: certain things and the dad for certain things, what do
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: you think the child needs the dad for.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: What sort of dad do you hope to.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Be as of now? Absolutely nothing.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I think she's just ten months, so I think I
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: could answer this question better when Emily's bigger. But from
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: what I've seen so far, with ten months, it's ninety
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: percent mom. It's the nursing, it's the soothing, it's the
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: I mean, they're almost like one entity. When you separate them,
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: you can see the pain they both go through. But
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: ever since, like from six months to ten, I could
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: see that. I think I just give Tracy a break
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: when I'm with Emily. It's just if it gets also
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: a nadia that make you feel guilty of the mom,
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: like why is the baby not with you right now? Like, dude,
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I'm having lunch for ten minutes. So I think just
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: her getting an emotional break of not being with Emily
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: for just maybe an hour, that's something I provide and Emily.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: I'm also reading about it that oxytocin is releasing moms
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: when they're nursing the baby and then the here of
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: the baby and when they're playing with the dads is
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: when oxytocin released for both parties. So like so babies
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: actually associate dad with play. So as of now, I
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: have the best part of just like playing with Emily,
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: and I think I think also I'm good with boundaries,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Like if Emily's crawling and she starts crying to be
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: picked up, that's also not true, like I could pick
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: up Emily immediately when she's uncomfortable, but certain discipline stuff,
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I think it's so hard on the mom to like
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: hear the baby cry or be uncomfortable. I think the
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: dad's kind of come in with the tough love of no, no.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: She has to be a little uncomfortable. It's okay, she
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: has to learn this again. I just feel right now
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: I think I'm contributing much. Maybe from the family perspective.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: I think it's easier for me to be positive and
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: calma because I'm not so tired and I can kind
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: of see the big picture. But like in the trenches, yeah,
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: so I can give her that shoulder off.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: I guess ten months is just like it's it's it's
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: just so new everything.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I love when you.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Didn't love when you said that there's there one entity
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: I understand literally came out of a body.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: You just they're just having this amazing party.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: We left out.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you just feel like, can I do something?
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: It's there's not much Like if I try to feed Emily,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: she's likes blame.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: But you know, fathers and daughters have such a special bonds.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: I have such a special bond with my dad, and
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: so I'm sure that Liken, you have no idea what
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: you're in for, and she's going to cause so much
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: trouble for you, because no, I caused no trouble for
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: my dad.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: In your team an angel, but in your teenagers, that's
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: what I hear, that they're like the teenagers I was.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: I really doated on my dad and him on me.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: But I guess that you're protective of your daughter, right,
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: and then it maybe it's difficult to see her with
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: her first boyfriend.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, no one's ever good enough
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: for him.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: Oh that's okay, that's okay. Parents have unattainable standards.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Somebody should have standards.
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: You have the standards Okay, Kenny, Emily deserves the best.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, I mean I think if Emily Game is some guy,
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: I was like, really, this guy, The problem is not
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: the guy.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I'm like this.
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the reaction every single guy ever has gotten,
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: even though they're pretty nice.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Guy.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: No one's good enough for my dad. Nobody think anyone
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: will ever be good enough for my.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Dad is a problem, but.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: Neither Yeah, no one's ever good enough Anyway, This show
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: is not about me. I love my parents, and I'm
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: glad they have standards. Honestly, sometimes my judgment has been lacking.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: In the common section.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Be like, Lisa, please elaborate when has your judgment been lacking?
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're doing this little thing called no overthinking.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: It's basically like fill in the blank, but you don't
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: just say what comes to mind immediately. Okay, let's do
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: so no overthinking daddy. Addition, the best thing about becoming
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: a father is.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Waking up and you know that you got You can
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: play with your daughter like it's because usually you thinking
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: like what's going to be the fun part of my day?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I know what the fun part of my day is. Yeah,
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: I can just hang on.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: With her the most annoying thing about becoming a father is.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: That we only talk about parenting.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we can talk about something else if you.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: No, No, that's fine now My like Jayson, I used
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: to talk about like really fun and dumb stuff as well,
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: but not like everything is like a heavy conversation.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's still so new. The most important thing a
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: dad needs.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Is I think the wife to understand that everybody contributes differently.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like a losing game and you're like,
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: I'm doing this this much and you're only doing this much.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: I think in the beginning of the relationship we kind
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: of established that there are going to be a lot
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: of things I do which is going to be invisible
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: or I have done in the past, Hence we enjoy
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: this today, and vice versa, where you have worked on
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: yourself to be so mature and emostly stable, Hence I'm
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: enjoying a wonderful wife. So yeah, I think understanding the wife.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: I think understanding that the dad's also contributing in whatever
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: way does not be perfect is good enough.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Okay. The best trick to get your kid to sleep is.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Such of all the lights, was all the curtains in
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Britain like you're dead, and she was like, okay, I
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: guess I have to sleep now.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: We all just like stop being fun. We just like works,
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: it works.
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: It works, okay, thank you. The thing I wish I
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: knew before becoming a dad.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Is, you know, people say it's an adjustment. It's not
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: an adjustment, it's a new life. I would just tell
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: new parents that, Kevin Wick. It is not an adjustment.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Means you're doing certain things and a new thing comes
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, that's not worth being apparent.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Is that life is gone Now it's a new life.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: It's you, your wife and your kid. And it's not
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: a bad thing. It's just a new life. It's kind
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: of like you had two legs and sutainly now have
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: three legs. You wouldn't be like it's an adjustment. It's like, no,
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: now I have three legs. It's it's a new way
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: of walking.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: That's really beautifully put can.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, you know, I think real to I think
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: that it's very difficult to be honest about the fact
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: that parenting's not all fun and games and easy and amazing. Right,
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: Especially women are like never allowed to say they don't
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: love being moms. Personally, I'm very invested in like honest
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: depictions of parenting. Because you love your child, of course
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: you wouldn't have it any other way. Sure, but it
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: can still be really hard, right, and we're like not
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: allowed to publicly acknowledge this is hard.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: Especially more like, I think Tracy Well felt very guilty
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: if she complained that this is hard.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Then she used to pause and be like, but I'm
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: very grateful that I can have a baby. I think
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: it's okay.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: It's just that, I think in our culture, especially when
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: you say something negative, people assume that you're saying the
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: whole thing is negative exactly, instead of you just pointing
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: out like, hey, I like dinner, I didn't like the dessert.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: It's okay for didn't like the desert. You're not saying
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: you hated the whole meal.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: So we I think what you just said is so
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: true because all my friends were babies, completely honest with us,
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: so that mentally prepared us. They said, it's going to
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: be very hard. Uh, it's going to be very tiring.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: It's not going to be easy. You're going to feel overwhelmed.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: But you know, our parents are just like, it's amazing.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: It's a blessing, and then you feel really betrayed because
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: you don't feel like that. But we didn't feel betrayed.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: We were like, I think we overestimated how hard it was,
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: and when it happened, we were like, oh, this is manageable.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: We have the skills to me.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: All your friends had gone to therapy. Everyone was brutally
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: honest about parentings. Have you got the like, yeah, I
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: think the correction is it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I think millennials are just I won't even say, oh, correction,
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: They're just honest. They're like, hey, this is what we
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: went through, just so you know, and that that is
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: such a gift we had because then when we got
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: checked in to the hospital during the delivery, Tercy and
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: I knew this is going to be physically daunting. So
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: then I knew that I need to support her and
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: be and she knew that she has to like brace
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: with all her strength. And then when we knew the
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: breastfeeding the first few months is very difficult, so we
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: were not shocked that it was difficult. We knew that
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: it's a huge thing to have a newborn. So I
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: took off from work. I planned this a year ago
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to work for the first four months.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Then it became eight months.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Wow, I'm so glad to hear that.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But because my friends warned me, it was not
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: like a discussion like should I shouldn't know?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm just off And because of that,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: it was so easy because we were all home.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: But also, if you can, if you do have the
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: time and resources, planning it, like that is a nice
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: thing to do.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: I mean, I thought I had the resources, and and
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: now I'm back to work slowly, and I realized that, Okay,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: it's expensive. It's expensive, and it was risky to be
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: off work for so long, so now I have to
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: like re establish some connections and stuff. But I have
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: no regrets ten years from now. Even Tracy and I
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: were talking. She was like, you know, I miss going
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: to the clinic being a dentist. And I said, Trace,
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: I also like have that guilt of like I should
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: be working and earning saving for the family. But I'm like,
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: in ten years, do you think you and I will
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: be like, man, I really regret when Emily was like
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: a year old, we didn't work as much.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Right, We're never going to say that.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: She's like, that's true, So that really helps me with
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: the guilt that I'm never going to regret spending time
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: with your.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: First baby, at least maybe second baby. You'll igno.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Kidding, what was your relationship with your dad?
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Like, So it's funny. Even my new stand up is
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: about family. But I had to flip it because the
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: usual gender dynamic is that dance are the more masculine,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: guarded ones and moms are the more emotional, caring ones.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: But it is flipped for me. My mom's very like
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: guarded and very fundamental like person and my dad's very
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: emotional and very caring and very soft. So that messed
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: me up because my dynamics I kind of flipped traditional dynamics.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: So whenever I dated, I kind of dated someone like
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: my mom, and I was not very happy.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: I was like, I don't feel a lot of warm there.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Then I realized like I was kind of like used
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: to like the female figure in my life being very
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: stoic and product type, and I have very high standards
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: for my male friends. Like if my male friends are
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: not being soft or emotional, I was like, what the
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: hell is this? You know, like, why aren't you being
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: open and warm and kind? So now after therapy and
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: working on myself. I've kind of evened it out now
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: I accept I expect softness and emotional warm from both genders.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: So my dad has been exceptionally like there and caring
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: and present and supportive. My dad told me the story
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: like in carolb. Back in the day, they used to
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: like make fun of him for like carrying me, because
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: like dads are not meant to be involved with their child.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: And my dad used to tell me, are people something
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: fun of me? That is to carry you around and
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: stuff like you give it to the mom now, not
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: like my mom and carrying me. My mom's like if
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: you meet my mom, she's like, she's like, no nonsense.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: She's like, have you eaten? Are you sick? Have you slept?
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Are you doing okay?
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Fine?
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: And she's gone her dad like, how's your day, what's happening,
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: how's your friend doing? So it's an interesting flip.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: That's so lovely to hear you speak of your relationship
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: with your father in this way is so lovely because
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: so many Indian men have a lot of friction with
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: their father. That's like a cliche, is right, And I
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: really do think that fathers and sons or just in
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: general the raising of male children that tends to be
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: this like negation of any emotion other than anger. Don't cry,
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: don't So we actually have another little game we wanted.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: To play with you.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Since you are post therapy and now post Emily Kenny,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: we thought you might want to upgrade some of the
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: typical like dad responses.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, wow, so that's.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: That'll be funer. Yeah, yeah, let's upgrade some dad responses.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: So these are traditional dadlines, and we want you to
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: rewrite them with your take.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Stop crying becomes what.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Oh oh, that's nice. Okay, I'm going to give a
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: little more context.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Maybe we're at the playground and Emily's falling down and
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: she gets it, but I mean, you don't girls stop crying.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: I imagine have a son. He falls down and he
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: starts crying, and I'm like, hey, Budie, what happened. He's like,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: it hurts. I'm like, yeah, it hurts. It makes sense,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: but feel the pain. But I think you can get
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: over this, and we can you can continue with the
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: game because I think it's not as bad as you think.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Then he pauses, he said, but it still hurts. I'm
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: gonna get it. I think it's fine, you're not bleeding anymore.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: So basically, stop crying has become one paragraph conversation, and
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: that's how it should be, because the more I talk
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: with him, the less I have to say the next time.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: So stop crying has become I know it hurts, but
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I think it's okay and you can continue.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Playing and it's okay to cry.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Also, yeah, but I feel like feeling anything too much
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: and harping on it too much.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: That's you said.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Context is important, where if it's a game and it's
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: not too bad, then the crying is kind of getting
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: in the way of him enjoying the game and also
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: him socializing with other boys and girls. So in that context,
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: crying too much is a deterrent. But if it's at
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: home and he's really upset that maybe this trip got
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: canceled and he's devastated because we've been talking about this stiff,
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: he's allowed to cry or be sad the whole day
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: because that's what it's not coming in the way of
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: his life. So crying is okay with the right context.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: Like this, there's a purpose for every emotion.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Because I said so.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a tough one.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: Because I said so I think I'll give context again
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: not eating vegetables, and I don't need vegetables, So you
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: have to eat vegetables. Because you don't need vegetables. I'm
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: gonna throw you out of the house.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Why do I have to vegetables? Because I said so.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: Have you seen have you seen my plate? And have
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: you seen how strong your father is? Because I work
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: out and I eat my vegetables and my protein.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: You eat your protein, eat the vegetables. Do you want
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: ice cream? Can?
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I have to? If you have all of them, new
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: get ice cream. So that's how it works. Yeah, so
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: it's manipulation.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: You give them the rationale. I like that. Okay, Okay,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: go ask your mother.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Do you really want to talk to you? That work?
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: It's like fair, okay, act like a lady.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, act lady.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: I would never say that, yes, yeah, because I wanted
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: to ride motorbikes and because she might say that to me,
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: like girls to ride motorbikes. I feel its counter intuitive
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: if you tell a girl that's not what a lady does.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I think you're kind of taking her away from the
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: joy of being a lady. And same thing with guys,
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: like yeah, if you be a man like they kind
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: of they're kind of playing a role exactly.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: They're not happy and they don't know why.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: But if you let a guy be like girlish, then
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: he really enjoys the masculine stuff for what it is,
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: and then he can do both.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: So I would say that what does that even mean?
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Be a lady? What does that even mean?
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Look at that? I like that all these phrases are
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: getting updated.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Okay, last one, Uh, that's not how we did it
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: in my time.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: And now I go for therapy. So you don't want
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: to go with therapy? Do it this way?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Ken you? Did you always want to be a dad?
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: Did you grow up having this vision of fatherhood as
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: part of your life plans or was it a decision
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: you took very deliberately later or did it just happen?
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: Like there's so many possibilities.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: There's this light bulb concept I think from Sex in
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: the City about like when the light bulb was on
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: when the man looks at the woman extra and he's like, yeah,
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: I'm going to just marry you. I think that's been
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: like I always knew I want to get married because
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: I my dad is in the navy, so I just
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: always this moving nest issue. We just were never in
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: one place, so really yearned for like, can I just
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: have a nest? And I took up stand up comedy,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: which is the worst job to do, which is you
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: just keep traveling. So I knew I want to like
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: find I just I want to find somebody and just
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: like have a nest. But the kid thing was the
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: older I became there. I did it for a massive responsibility,
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: and you know, you can screw up the kid if
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: you don't read somebody.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: You know, that's my biggest fear.
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: Anyway, Yeah, exactly, even the nicest, best, sweetest parents.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Will Yeah, it is inevitable.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: It's all of this changed because I met Tracy. So
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: when I married Tracy, I was honestly.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Fifty to fifty.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: She was she always want to have a kid. I
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: was like, Trace, you want to have a baby, I'm in.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: You don't want to have a baby, I'm in.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: I don't think I'll have regrets either way, because I
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: also don't want a parent a kid with anyone else
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: except Racy. So again, it's just that I can't explain it.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: It just violently went to the other way where yes,
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: I want to marry you get that yeah, I get that.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I think like if you if you can't imagine your
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: partner the parent of hypothetical kids, you definitely should not
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: have a kid with them, Like you know what I mean,
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: I totally get complete switch that could happen, and you
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: want to be with.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Someone that you don't get scared or are worried of,
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Like I want to discuss this with them or the
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: style of parenting.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I hope they take it the right way. I don't
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: have that fear with advice.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Wonderful. I'm so happy that you found each other.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Thank God you have your nest and it's a beautiful,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: very lucky. What about you?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: What about me? I want to have kids.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I was just in general, like what is your outlook
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: on having like marriage and having kids in this whole part?
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: Like have you given it a thought or you're like
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: I want to stay away from all.
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: You know, I thought for a long time that I
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: am going to opt out of marriage and kids, Okay,
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: and that's not I am like the I love love.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: I am such a lover of love. I want enduring love,
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: I really do. But I don't think I necessarily need
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: the state or other people's chapa on my love marriage.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, if it was a you'll break it for
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: the other person.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: I'm not like you know, I don't have an aggression
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: against like getting married, But it's not that important to
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: me the ceremony.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: I think what you said about meeting this person who
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: changed your perspective on things to me hypothetically neither dying
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: to get married nor dying to have children. But love
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: is such a powerful thing, such a powerful thing that
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: I feel like I haven't met the person that has
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: elicited either aspiration within me. I have yet to meet
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: a man who makes me want to spend the rest
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: of my life with him or have his babies.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: But you can see yourself, like if you met somebody
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: and then they gave that feeling that you would go
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: ahead with it.
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: Look, I'm thirty five, Kenny, I don't know how long
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: I probably going to freeze my eggs or something, So
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not like dying to have a kid,
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: Let's be honest.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: I also think you could adopt a kid if I
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: ever changed my mind.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: The quantum of responsibility is definitely scary to me, and
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: I think that does scare me. I also go to
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: therapy and all of that. But I guess, as you
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: know you've got to live, I guess you can't know.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: So it's not like I've gotten over that. The ony
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: way I deal with it, I don't think about it.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: That's the only way, because if I sit down and.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: Actually say, if I find my Tracy Kenny, yeah, I'll
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: join you, Okay, we'll get my own nest. Also, and
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: the absence of a Tracy, I ain't doing this. I
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: feel like I would have very much love my own baby,
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: very much, like not that interested in other people's baby.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Except but Emily sounds wonderful.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: She's touch with like a very happy baby. She's literally
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: the amalgamation.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: Of Tracy and I.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: So we call her small friend, which is yeah, which
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: we learned from my mom in law. She calls her
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: kids small friend. It's adorable.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: We literally mean like a like a.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Third friend, like our group was me and Trace and
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: now a third pert who's like as cool as us
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: and as fun as us.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: She's like fits in. She laughs at the same things
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: we do.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: She likes traveling, she likes the kind of songs and
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: voices we make.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: We got very lucky.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: That is so sweet. You know, hearing you makes me
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: rethink my cynicism around you know.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, you have a thousand clarity.
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: No, No, I know I'm kidding, but I meant like
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: I was so likely. No, but I do sometimes have
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: conversations with people. A very close friend mind had a kid,
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: and it does seem like one of As you said,
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: it's a new life. You couldn't know this, Kenny, if
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: you didn't have Emily. There's no way you could have
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: sat in that Kenny's life and known what this Kenny
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: was going back.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: It's just stepped into a different universe and you can't
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: go back.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: On that note, Kenny, it is time for another segment.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: So we're actually taking a leaf out of your book.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: I know on your podcast you have this segment called
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: two Types of People, and so we're doing something like that,
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: and so you can take it one step ahead by
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: also justifying your reason for making this choice over that choice.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, let's do this. Cool dad or responsible dad.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: I think it is sponsorible dad because a lot of
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: screwed up kids have cool dads because you know, the
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: kids think they're cool, but we all know the dad's
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: just absent. So I would say responsible that I think
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: the I would rather be punished by not being cool.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: But I know that they're going to be fine, and
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: they think I'm laying any day over. They think I'm cool,
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: but I've ruined them.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: But I think that's cool though.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: You know, exactly, we are redefining what it means to
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: be cool dads and just cool in general.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Kindness is the new punk rock exactly.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Okay, Beta become a doctor or Beta become a comedian.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Oh no, Beta, become a doctor.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Please, and we have a doctor in the family.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: Also, yes, yes, yes, I got lucky, and the amount
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: of stress and financial instability and lack of I don't
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: even know what I'm going to do five years from now.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: I don't want my children to go through that. Become
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: a doctor, noble profession get paid. Well, I just hope
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: you get them sleep and some respect. But better become
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: a doctor. Definitely noted.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Let the baby cry it out or swoop in with
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: a lullaby.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: According to the rules of the game, I can be nuanced,
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: so I'm going to say swooping.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: But the actually answer is a middle ground there.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: Okay, show the messy house or pretend everything is fine.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm full messy house. Tracy has also come around.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: I mean she's the more proper gentleman. I mean, lady,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: I'm not a gentleman. I'm pretty messy. So I have
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: made Tracy progressively sloppier and sloppier and messy.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Here.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: Now that we have a baby, we can use that
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: as an excuse right now, if you come to my house,
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: it's just we have a matt a play mat and
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: all the toys of her are all laid out in
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: a beautiful living.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Room which we renovated recently.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: So messy, you know, as it should be at this point,
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: At this point, Okay, Kenny, I'm sure that there are
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: quite a lot of people watching who might be contemplating
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: parento or going through quite the same stage in their
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: journey as you are. And so what advice do you
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: have for new parents that you wish someone had told you?
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: If you are thinking of being parents and you have
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: even a little doubt, that's completely normal. You're never going
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: to be ready. There's no right time. It's kind of
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: like starting a business. You're like, you know, we're going
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: to have this and that and this and this, then
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: I start my business. That's what I happened. So being
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: a parent is like that, or you're not going to
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: be ready. And if you're already in it, you don't
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: have time to watch this show anyway, so I can't
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: reach out to you anyway. So if you are, come
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: out and you're like, by mistake, I've played this video
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: in the three minutes where the baby's screaming and you're
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: fighting with your partner.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: We're all in the same boat and it gets better.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: And this is your idea.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: She can't blame anyone else, Okay, so what's your problem
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: with your idea?
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: That's one cool thing about parents in my generation.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: It's like if you see anybody with the kid, they're really, really,
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: really hopefully really wanted that baby. I think our parent
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: generation they were like forced on the hand to and
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: you have my friends like they're either not having a
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: baby or they just can't wait to have a baby.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: So it's great, you know, it's it's I feel it's
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: so sad. You know. The kids can feel it, absolutely,
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: the kids know and they're wanted. So yeah, so that's
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: your fault, deal with it. Tell me surprised?
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Kenny, thank you, that was so much fun.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us, and thank you for
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: joining us on Love Matters.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: If you enjoyed this episode, please do like, share, subscribe
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: all that good stuff and if you want to write
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: into us, you can do so with Lovematters at DW
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: dot com. Love Matters is produced by The Indian Express
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: and DW and if you do want to listen to
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: more conversations like this, I recommend you check out an
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: episode with Nickil Tanaja, who spoke about masculinity and ways
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: that might resonate with you.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: If you enjoyed, watch this episode by going to the
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: other episode.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: No like, if they finished watching this episode and I
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: want to stick with Okay.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: Watch it again, put times times off the top five
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: moments and be like, hey, I feel you should call
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: Kenny again.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: The assumption was that already watched them start to finish,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: made this don't want to leave. I'm giving them some
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: more love.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: This style of thinking they'll finished watching.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: Watch it again, subscribe, Okay, just just watch it again.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Thanks guys, Kathy's just going to cut all.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Of the Really, editor, if you're listening to me, you're
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: to give.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: This all of it.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Give the episode.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for tuning into love matters. We'll see
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: you next time.