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What does Money Got To Do With Relationships? · Rock My Finances

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Unless specifically indicated otherwise. The content expressed or my views only, and not
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necessarily those of Lifeco Asset Management LLC. The content presented is in no way
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an investment advice, solicination, or an offer to sell securities or investment advisory
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services. The material is provided for general information and educational purposes based upon publicly
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available information from sources believe to be reliable. I cannot assure the accuracy or
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completeness of these materials. As such, the information and these materials may change
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at any time without notice. Reference to these discussions about eye wells and annuities
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are fixed insurance products. Investments on fixed insurance products are different from investments of
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the stock market. Any guarantees provided by a fixed insurance product cannot be assumed
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to be guaranteed for any other investment. Welcome to to Rock my Finances show
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on k for HD Radio and Talk for TV, where we put to fund
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in finance joint Powerhouse Jaffer Jos CDFA CMC and Private Wealth Advisor as she collaborates
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with you to create clarity, control and confidence with your money, your way.
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It's not about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
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find out. Now, here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer jos We
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are back so excited. Can you honestly say I rock my finances and like
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have a great feeling about it and really enjoy like I have my clients have
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a weekly money date and actually enjoy that money date, Like sit down and
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play with your numbers and know what's happening and forecast what's new and what you
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want to spend money on and save on and travel on, Like we're planning
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on a ship Tocabo at the end of this summer. I'm so excited.
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It's gonna be so fun. Can you do all of that without any anxiety,
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out, any angst out, without any stress, and actually know exactly
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what to do with your money? If you can't, this is the show
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for you. Because we talked about a little bit about everything today, we're
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going to talk about the relationship with money. So if you're in a relationship,
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you could be in espousal relationship, you could be in a business partner
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relationship, and everyone is also in a relationship of ourselves and money. So
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that's kind of what we're gonna go over first. I don't know about you,
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but I can definitely shame and blame myself and just negative talk on a
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daily basis. And I catch myself when I say, oh my god,
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I'm so stupid if I forgot my keys or I forgot this or whatever,
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and I'm just such negative self talk. So let's all make a pack that
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we are going to watch our negative self talk and make sure that it's positive.
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So when I do my workshops, I always say, we're all going
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to make mistakes. And even though I'm the one in the expert here and
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the money and I'm going to stand in the front of the room and I'm
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going to share my wisdom with you, I will make a mistake. Shocker,
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right, But when I make a mistake, I want to say,
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oh, I'm gorgeous instead of oh I'm stupid. So check that out.
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See if it helps you as well for your self talk to change it a
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little bit more positive. So when we talk about money with our selves,
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we normally have a past, right, we have some type of history with
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money, and we might have spent so much on something, we might have
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maybe lost a house. I've lost a couple of houses down the twenty eight
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nine ten downturn. We might have some shame some blame around that. Men,
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you are amazing because you can categorize things and let it go. Ladies,
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most of us have a relationship with guilt, shame and shouldar, would
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have, coulds, So we want to look at that first of all and
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then be able to shift that. So let's write down. Yes, this
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is homework. Most of my clients have homework almost every meeting, but sometimes
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it's really fun. So don't stress. But let's take a look at what
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we look at in our past and write down the situation, maybe what we
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purchased. Maybe has anybody got screwed? Yep? Has anybody have been betrayed
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around money? Uh? Yeah? So I was betrayed a couple times,
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actually probably four or five times now, And I go back. What I'm
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working on a lot right now is releasing the anger around that experience. Now
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I don't feel anger. I'm pretty joyous every day. And I just had
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my schockwra reading by Marie Chat my other episode because she was amazing, and
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there's anger and my solar plexus. I'm like, okay, so let's clear
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that. So I am doing some meditation and breathing and parenty and breathing and
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releasing that anger around those circumstances and events, because that's not who I am,
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and that is just a small experience of what I experienced. So make
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a list of all the things that you could beat yourself up about, and
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then we're just going to breathe through that and release those circumstances and events that
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we went through the week experienced that. So my first marriage, I was
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married at nineteen and he passed away when I was twenty nine. It was
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a whole story. Check out my other episode about divorce equals death because it
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was a horrible situation. But during that marriage, we were together for ten
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years and he was a business owner. I've been a business owner background,
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so we stepped into entrepreneurship. We worked together. I thought we worked pretty
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well together actually, and we had the same thoughts about money. We valued
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money the same. We did not want to have credit. This was back
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in the eighties, so credit wasn't abundant as it is now, and it
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was very different back then. It actually was a mark on your record if
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you had too much credit, and it wasn't easily accessible. So we didn't
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pay for anything. I mean, everything was cash, and we agreed on
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money. We never really fought about money. We had the same values about
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money other things, yeah, a whole lot of other things. However,
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money was very similar. So when you think about your value of money,
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let's look at our past and in our relationships, in our past, even
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with ourself. Right, what is it that you value about money as me?
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For me, as a woman, I value security. I always want
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to know that there is a lump sum of money somewhere that I can access
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to make myself feel more secure. That's one thing. Another thing is I
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want another lump of money if I step into an opportunity that I want to
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up level my assets. So I just meeting with a couple right now,
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and they have an opportunity. They're in business together, and they have an
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opportunity to go to the next level or to add to their buckets. I
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call it and their asset buckets. And so now they need to agree upon
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that. So my advice was to them today was do a mission statement for
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your business and your marriage. And if you're single, like myself, do
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a mission statement for myself. Like what am I wanting to get out of
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the relationship with myself. I've been in a relationship with myself like eight years
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now, and so what's the mission statement for me? First and foremost,
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I am valuing authenticity and I am valuing joy. I always value honesty and
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I always want to be able to trust in myself. So if I'm going
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to do something, I always look back at my values and my mission statement.
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If I get all excited about something, we hear about a new squirrel
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squirreling and we say, okay, should we do that? Do we have
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the money for that? Is this going to be excitement? Well, we
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have to go back to our values and our mission statement. What did I
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just say about my lifestyle and how I want it to be in what am
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I valuing? I value trust? So in this new business opportunity, can
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I trust these people? Do I feel trustworthy around them? Does it make
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my heart sing to actually be able to step into that next opportunity? Always
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tie it back to what is your intention for your business and your lifestyle and
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yourself before you say yes to anything. So the recommendation is to have a
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mission statement, even if you're single, have it for your household. Me
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and my cat Luna, we have our own mission statement of our lifestyle,
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which is for me joy every day being able to trust myself being able to
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up level my lifestyle and whatever that means. I'm at the point now in
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my life that if it doesn't bring me joy, I'm not going to do
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it. So even a new program or even a new business opportunity or meeting
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people like I just met amazing people. Desiree Hall, I just met She's
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amazing. I'm going to have her on the podcast as well, so we're
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talking about things and I love being with her. I trust her, I
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feel aligned with her. So do you feel aligned with your next people?
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Do you feel aligned with Maybe? Like me, I've had many coaches and
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mentors throughout my career stepping into another business opportunity right now, do I feel
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aligned with them? Well? In business, my first and foremost is client
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comes first. I am here to give my clients a white glove luxury experience.
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I am a concierge advisor. I want to make sure that I can
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have it done for you or done with you, depending on the price point.
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But I want to make sure that you are enjoying this experience with me.
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And in my coaching program, it's one hundred percent manage back guarantee because
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if you're not enjoying the relationship with me. I'm not going to take your
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money because money is energy. To me, money is just energy, and
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it's a gratitude energy. So I always want to make sure that we're both
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enjoying. Now. I've never had to do that, however, I do
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offer that, and I appreciate people who do the same. So when they
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back them their coaching programs or mentorship programs or business whatever it is, if
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they back it with a money back guarantee or some type of a guarantee,
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then I can appreciate that. That means they're standing by their word and in
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my value, going back to my mission statement, trust is huge for me.
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Trust and honesty and authenticity and joy is huge for me. So am
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I going to enjoy working with them? Am I going to enjoy the process?
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Are they aligned with client comes first? And the client experience is huge
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for me? So are they the same aligned? If you are in business
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with a business partner, do your mission statement? Does your mission statement have
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client centered focus first? Do you both are you both aligned with that?
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It could be money, like you could be going into another business. I
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meant I have another opportunity right now that we're experiencing and it's purely for money.
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Now, I definitely want to enjoy the process and I'm aligned and with
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the people that are doing it, but it literally is to make money.
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And that's great. That business has that mission statement, does another business have
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another mission statement? And what is your intention out of all of these different
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businesses and opportunities. So when you come up with a question, because sometimes
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it's hard to make a decision, do I buy this? Do I trust
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this? And if you're stuck in there, you might just let a lot
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of opportunities go away because you're afraid to make that jump. So if you
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have an outlined mission statement, an outlined value system, and it's updated on
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an annual basis or semi annual or even in every two years, then you
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can always go back to that when it comes up to you. Okay,
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do I need an assistant? Do I need more salespeople on my sales team?
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Going back to your mission statement, I have a client now that mission
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statement is stress free. That's number one thing only wanting stress free. So
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if she were to add to her team, she is going to bring on
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more people to manage, which brings on more stress. So if she's valuing
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less stress over more income or revenue. Then she might not want to up
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level right now, then shift to next year. Maybe she does want more
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revenue, which death only means we have to increase our sales team in order
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to bring in more revenue. So it always goes back to your mission statement
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and your values and they can change. Yes, we have you know,
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honesty, integrity, trust, joy is always my values. But each circumstance
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could have a different mission statement on either making more revenue, building more security.
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We want the outcome for that circumstance to be, then it's kind of
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a no brainer. What is your intention for that experience? Then if that's
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if this checks off to bring into the attention that you want, then it's
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clear. It's clear yes. And I always want my clients to be a
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hell yes or a hell no. And even coming into my program, I
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talk with them and I either wanted to be a hell yes or a hell
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no. If you're wilfully Waffley, we are going to stay on the phone.
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I do not want you to make a decision without me in the room,
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either on zoom or on the phone. I want to help you be
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a hell yes or a hell no. Whatever fits for you right now,
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So maybe you can implement that as well. That might be helpful for you
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buying a car, buying a couch, buying a shirt, you know,
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expanding your office up, leveling opportunities, meeting new people. Do you want
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to go into affiliate workshops with them? Do you want to do an affiliate
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agreement with them? And when you do that, that's great. Just talk
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more and to be a hell yes or a hell no, and make sure
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that you're both in the room at the same time. I have a lot
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of married clients that want to become clients and they'll say, my spouse won't
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agree, my spouse doesn't understand, and then we keep talking until it's a
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hell yes or a hell no. So let's go back to money and coupleship
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and relationship. When you're in a relationship, there's three barriers to a great
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relationship when it comes to money. In my opinion, there's a million barriers,
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but I only have to have to go over three today. The first
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one is communication. I know we hear the C word all the time,
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communication, communication, communication, but guess what my second marriage was about communication?
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He was a pisces. I was a Virgo. We spoke very differently,
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and I was very fast and he was laid back, and I had
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to learn how to communicate effectively. And we work together as well, so
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I had to get myself heard. And it's not always about the other person.
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And when we're in relationship with someone, it's easy to blame them when
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things are not going right. It's a natural thing to blame outside of us
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first, So in communication, the first thing is to take responsibility for your
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energy and your words. So I had to look at how I was presenting
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something, how I was saying it, and not only how the tone.
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I'm sure some of us have heard I've heard million times in therapy the tone,
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And really it boils down to my energy. As you can tell,
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I have a lot of energy. In fact, I'm actually really tired today.
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I went to an amazing gala in Beverly Hills last night with Oh my
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gosh. We had amazing speakers. It was the Women's Business Networking Gala.
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We had beautiful, amazing, inspirational speakers. It was awesome. So I'm
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a little tired today. I know you can't tell because I'm kind of excited
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about this, but I have to watch my energy and match who I'm speaking
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with. What is their energy? Like? How can they hear things?
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Do I need to sit back a little bit to be heard? Do I
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need to slow my role as they say? Do I need to lower my
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tone so that they can actually hear what I'm saying? Do I need to
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make sure that I'm speaking in eye messages? I had such an amazing time
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last night. I feel stressed around this situation? Or am I saying?
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Do I feel stressed around this? Oh my gosh, this is driving me
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crazy. Someone could take my energy like this very different than if I were
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to lay back and say, I'm stressed about this situation right now? Can
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we talk about it? Versus my fast high taking the high talk, leaning
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forward looking into someone's eyes, going oh my gosh, this is driving me
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crazy. I'm so stressed. I need to talk about this. They could
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take that as criticism or holy crap, what's you're going to bring on to
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me now? Like it's my responsibility to be aware of the energy and the
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tone and the smile or not smile, and how I speak and how you're
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hearing me. And as we've all heard, tone is only certain percentage versus
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our body language and our eye contact and me when I'm not smiling, I
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mean I feel like I have a total lift in my voice, but looking
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at my face right now, I absolutely do not. I can kind of
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look pissed off. We always hear about the resting bitch face. So it's
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my responsibility to smile, turn up my corners of my mouth so that you
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hear and see I actually I'm really happy. I want to talk about this
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stressful item, but I'm really happy about it. So number one in communication,
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be responsible for your energy and your words. It's so easy to say,
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well he did this, she did this. Even raising kids, you
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know, we could always blame someone else. So if we just take responsibility
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and say, oh, I actually do care about this person and I do
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want them to hear me, I do not feel heard, and I want
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to make sure that I'm getting my point across the way I really mean it
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and effectively so that they can actually hear it from their heart on how I'm
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really meaning to say it, and even if I'm not really articulating it appropriately,
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I want them to know it's coming from my heart and not my bitchiness
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out of my head. Does that mean I hope that makes sense for you.
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So number one in communication, be responsible for your energy and how you
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say it. Number two, be vulnerable. Be okay with saying, oh,
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I'm totally screwing that up. I'm not saying not correctly. I need
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to go back and say I apologize for how you're hearing it, and I
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apologize for my excitement in my tone. It might come off differently than how
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I really mean it. And this is how I'm really trying to say it.
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I am sorry if I'm coming off crazy and critical. I really mean
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I'm feeling uncomfortable, I'm feeling less secure, I'm feeling judged, and I'm
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feeling this way so that I want to be able to share it so that
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you can hear it, so that when you respond to it, I can
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hear it. You might have heard of mirroring back, right, So I
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love to say, so what I hear you say is because I'm wrong,
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and I'm really good at this and I'm wrong, and so I want to
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be able to say, oh, okay, what I hear you say,
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because what their words are saying and what their body language is saying and what
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I'm perceiving could be very different and this is all according to our history in
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our background. We could have had another person say something a different way,
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and we're thinking and perceiving something different from this new person. But we are
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looking at it like, well, if this was so and so from back
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then, our brain automatically goes to our file cabinet. And when they said
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yes, they really meant no. And when they said no, they really
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meant yes. So I'm perceiving you saying something very different. So it's not
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a blamed thing. It's not a right or wrong he said, she said,
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I said, you're hearing something different. Why can't you understand me?
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It's nothing of that. It's literally a nice, wonderful communication. That's what
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I help my clients do when I have partnerships. I meet with both of
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them and then them singly so that I can understand what they're saying, so
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that I can mediate in between. It's so helpful to have a mediator in
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communication because we can speed up things so quickly. You can fester on something.
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I could literally clean up five years of crap in just a few sessions
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and get them on the right track on how to say what your partner needs
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to hear for you to feel heard and to get shit done, Like really,
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it's all about actions and behaviors, and if our partners are not doing
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the behavior we want them to do, we take it personally, like we
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might take it in all crazy places, like they don't care about me,
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I'm not good enough. We could take it to all of our wounds,
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right, and it's just not true. It might be just because they're not
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hearing it the way we're saying it, or they're not hearing the priority that
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we're saying it as So we need to have them here our value system so
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that they can see when I say, when I'm saying, I'm hearing you
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say that's not important to you, and it's really important to me. I'm
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hearing you don't care about me. I feel not heard and valued in this
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relationship. Isn't that way better than says, well, when you said this
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and you did this, it made me feel horrible and I'm pissed off about
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it. It's very different. So communication is huge. Number one, Be
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responsible for your communication. Number two, be vulnerable. It's okay to go
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back and say I feel hurt, I feel wounded, i feel afraid,
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I'm not secure. It's okay to say that. Number three, In communication,
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it's okay to want to hear how the other person needs to hear things
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and change your communication so they can hear it. A lot of people will
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say, well, this is who I am and that's just too damn bad.
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Well, it is kind of damn bad if you want to have a
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good relationship with this person. We are responsible for the way we say.
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Now if I'm saying things completely authentically and I am matching their role, if
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there a slower role or a faster role, and I am saying I messages
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and I am not leaving the room because you have an abandonment situation, or
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I don't leave the house, or I lower my voice and sit back and
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relax and say I really need to talk about this because this is something I
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would really want to do and I need to hear how you feel about it.
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I tride all these wonderful things and it's still not working, then that
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is who I am. But we have to at least try and then if
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it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But you got to have a mediator
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come in. Okay. Second barrier is education, which kind of leans into
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the first barrier. We got to know our partners. We have to know
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ourselves. We have to know how we speak and how we're being heard and
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interpreted and perceived by people. I can be perceived by one person A and
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B, the other one C and D and I don't know. So as
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a speaker and doing this for what six seven and eight years now, I've
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learned how people are perceiving me in a room. And that's a whole other
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situation. Right, you have a group of energy. But I'm learning how
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people are perceiving me and making sure that I'm speaking with my hands. For
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the kinesthetic people, I'm speaking with slow voice and I lean in and look
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at you when I need it to be important for those people. I Am
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also trying to use my facial expressions for visual people. And I'll even talk
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really loud I'm excited if I want to get this point across. So there's
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so many different tools we can use, and we have to find out who
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is listening to us and how they need to hear it. It's not just
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all about us when you're in a communication with someone else, we do need
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to understand and educate ourselves how they hear us. That's my two cents.
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You might not agree, and that's fine, but I do believe that we
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need to take some responsibility in our partners. And if I'm in a group
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speaking to like I just spoke at Women's Business Networking, just my little thirty
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second thing, I'm looking at the entire room and seeing how people need to
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hear things to be able to express who I really authentically am, because that's
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what it's really about. I'm trying to be heard as my authentic self and
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my honest, true, joyous self. So that's Barry number two is just
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get educated on your partner. Bary number three is trust. We all have
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had crap in our background. So if we can come to a communication either
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with ourself or with a partner, that trusting that we all are here for
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the highest good of all. If this person is manipulative and just very not
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trustworthy, throw that out and get away from them. But anyone that I'm
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going to give my time to, they're either healing and they're learning on manipulation
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and how to get rid of that and how to be authentic, or they
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truly do want to be authentic and they are authentic and they're trying to learn
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that. That's great. I am going to do my part to show up
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as a trustworthy being and really think, say my thoughts, my thoughts,
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my words, my feelings, my behaviors, my mannerisms. They all match
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so that when I say I'm really excited, you hear it in my voice,
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you see in my body, You seen it in my smile, you
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see it in my energy. It's all matching. I have integrity, I'm
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authentic, and you can feel that. But when I say I'm really excited
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and I can't wait to do this, and my face is not smiling,
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my energy is laid back. Some people who have had betrayals in the past,
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or even trauma such as me, or even abuse such as me,
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we have our intent is up with people who do not say, think,
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feel, behave and look the way they're saying it really has us look at
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integrity so trusting that when I say I'm excited, I'm excited, trust the
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other person and tell you feel the feelings of I just don't feel really good.
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This person's given me Ikey's I'm out. I know Ikey's who is not
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a real word, but it is today. But when I'm not feeling completely
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at joy, like last night, I met just amazing people and we literally
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had did the heart hugs and oh, I just like we just stood there
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like, oh, this feels really good. Like I can feel their energy
26:51
and it feels really really good and they can feel mine. They go,
26:52
I'm like, I just need to meet you. I love your energy,
26:56
and they just walk right up to me and I'm like, oh my god,
26:56
I love that. I love your energy. And when we can feel
27:00
that, I trust that they're here for the highest good. I'm here for
27:03
the highest good. So let's be vulnerable and communicate together and learn how each
27:08
other can literally feel each other and get our points across. It's really cool.
27:14
So that's on communication. We are going to queue up a commercial right
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now. This is my Rock My Finances Club. I just raised the prices
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but there it's still very very affordable and it will go up again. So
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very transformational. And I'm normally three hundred fifty dollars an hour, So this
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is a total steal and you will get personal hot seat coaching. So check
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out this commercial. Ron's gonna roll. It's really quick. It's just only
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like a minute. We're gonna come back and we're gonna talk about the other
27:56
barriers for communication and how to love ourselves more, our partners more, and
28:02
to step into the fully aligned person that we really want to show up and
28:04
who we are being, not just who we are, but who are you
28:07
being? Okay, check out this commercial and come right back. I got
28:11
lots more. Wait, the show isn't over yet. There's more fun and
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finances ahead. Jennifer will be right back as we have a special bonus offer
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for you right here on Rock My Financers Broadcasting live on K four HD Radio
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and Talk four TV. Hey y'all, it's Jennifer Jost. Are you ready
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to transform your relationship with money? Rock My Finances Club is your weekly mastermind
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Make yourself a priority today. Schedule a check with me at rock MF
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dot com and achieve your feminine financial freedom finally. Oh and don't forget to
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ask me how to say fifty percent. See you at our weekly mastermind.
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Okay, rock my Finances on cath HD and Talk for TV is back once
29:18
again. Let's put the fun in finance with your host and weekly friend,
29:22
Jennifer Josh. Okay, we're back. I'm so excited. This is going
29:26
to be fun. I hope you do check out ROCKMF dot com because it
29:30
is really life changing and it's so fun. We have a good time and
29:33
it's not just about me. Our group of amazing people that are stepping into
29:36
abundance is really great to be around. It's it's awesome. And we do
29:40
talk about relationship issues because how we feel about one thing we feel about everything.
29:45
So how we feel about money is how we feel about love, is
29:48
how we feel about security, and it all boils in so we always end
29:52
up talking about everything when we talk about everything all week. And I have
29:56
a lot of business owners there as well, So if you an entrepreneur,
29:57
jump on because we talk about you know, making sure that our profit is
30:02
appropriate and our lifestyle is appropriate, and how we can change that and how
30:04
we can shift our perceptions. Here's one thing that I just did last week
30:11
for a business owner. She was stressing out over the business going down over
30:15
COVID and you know, where things were at, and we talked about it
30:18
and we said okay, and she's like really stressing out around you know,
30:22
I'm like, okay, well, what exactly where were you number wise?
30:26
What were you making? And what are you making now? Oh? I
30:27
don't know? Okay, so let's go look at the numbers. So then
30:32
that she had homework for the week, and then she looked at and she's
30:33
like, oh, it's actually not bad at all, because when we don't
30:37
know our numbers, we have all this crap in our brain and we actually
30:41
start making ourselves stressed. And it's sometimes it's not even stressful, and if
30:45
it is, it's only stressful for a minute because when we look at that
30:48
and we go, okay, what was working before? Where are you at?
30:52
So then actually got her back to why are you in business? Why
30:55
are you doing this? Which is what I was talking about with the relationship.
30:57
What's your mission statement? Why are you in this relationship? Why are
31:02
you in this business partnership? Why are you loving yourself or not loving yourself
31:06
around money, like look at the mission statement, and she did. She
31:10
went back to her avatars and she just talked about how much she loved her
31:11
clients and how much she does so much good for them. And now she's
31:17
like, oh, you know, once you come, she got clients.
31:19
She sped back up again, like within two weeks she was back to where
31:22
she started again, just because what we think about is what we get.
31:26
I do believe in law of attraction. These are my thoughts. What we
31:30
think about we get. So when we're thinking about our amazing clients and how
31:33
we're helping them, guess what you're gonna get. You're gonna get more clients.
31:37
And it's not just always that easy. However, we need to look
31:40
at all of that and our mission statement, our belief stepping into who we're
31:42
going to be. So let's go back to money and relationships. So sometimes
31:51
we can judge ourselves as simple as I actually got this from Juliet I told
31:56
I was going to talk about this. Check out O other broad cast with
32:00
Juliette as well. She's amazing, She's on some other episodes, and she
32:04
was just saying, even when you go out to the restaurant with friends or
32:07
family or your partnership or spouse or whatever, and tipping, tipping at the
32:14
restaurant. Do you like to tip a lot? My daughter and her boyfriend
32:20
are in the restaurant business, or my daughter was in the restaurants sin he
32:22
is, so we are generous with our tips when and I've been financial advisor
32:28
for many years and I've had a lot of clients who are in the restaurant
32:30
business. And way back when they changed the tax structure to tips, weren't
32:37
you didn't have to claim tips? When they change that to where not only
32:40
do you have to claim them, they are already adding I think it's fifteen
32:45
percent, not sure, but they're already adding an automatic amount to your taxable
32:51
event, regardless if you make those tips or not, which I think was
32:54
crazy. That change their entire world in the service industry. So we when
33:01
we're tipping, it is really going to their family. So I'd like to
33:07
have my couples. When I have my couples in on couples couples coaching,
33:14
or even just the financial advising side of things. When I'm working with the
33:17
couples together, we talk about this. We have weekly money dates, and
33:22
if you're in a partnership, we have you each have your own money date
33:25
and then come together once a month for a couple's money date, so that
33:29
you actually are talking about the goals and dreams and where we're putting money next,
33:32
and where our buckets are on all of that, and we talk about
33:36
our values and alignment and do we tip fifteen percent twenty twenty five percent when
33:43
we have abundance that month, Like I'm going to have a like a forty
33:47
five thousand dollar month coming up, and so when I have a big month
33:52
like that, I feel abundant and I want to give. And that's one
33:55
of my values because I do believe that what we give, we get,
34:00
but if we're giving to get, it doesn't work. So it is just
34:05
makes me feel really good to be able to share my money because I believe
34:08
money is gratitude. So play with me for a little bit. Let's all
34:13
sit back and think about our bank accounts. Right, we all get up
34:16
at the same amount of hours in a day. We either choose to go
34:22
to a job a corporation and an employer, and we give our skills in
34:28
time to someone and they say thank you in the form of a paycheck,
34:32
and they give us a paycheck, and we put that money into the bank.
34:36
If you're an entrepreneur, you either give your time to the business,
34:39
your skills to the business. You get paid by your bonuses or maybe the
34:45
owner draw whatever it might be. If you're in the service industry, such
34:49
as I am, I give my time and effort to my clients. They
34:52
pay me in the form of money, and so that is gratitude to me.
34:55
So then we put all this money into the bank account. This is
35:00
gratitude coming back to us saying thank you for being you, thank you for
35:02
your times, your skills, your attributes. Thank you. So then we
35:07
have this money to grow in our bank account. We all have a perceived
35:12
subconscious money ceiling on what we are worthy of. So when you have that
35:20
amount growing into your account, then we put some in our savings account.
35:25
We start investing. If we don't know about that, if we don't feel
35:30
worthy of what's already happening, we might invest into something that's going to drop
35:34
and fall. And because we're not worthy in our subconscious and our body and
35:39
our temperature of making more money, because either our DNA or history society,
35:45
whatever it might be. That's what I work with my clients through is to
35:49
clear those ceilings that we have subconsciously and make sure that we can double our
35:54
income this year. As soon as I cleared mine out years ago, I
35:59
doubled my income year. And I didn't even know I had that block.
36:01
I had a worthiness block, and I didn't even know what my coach mayvou
36:05
She's amazing. She helped me clear that block within like a couple of days,
36:08
and I definitely doubled my income. So we have some subconscious blocks about
36:14
that money sealing, and then once we do that, we can break that
36:17
barrier and see actually what we can what we actually are worthy of that gratitude
36:24
for like, it feels really good to be able to have money. So
36:29
now we have this gratitude in our bank, we have enough, our needs
36:31
are met. Now I want to share my gratitude with someone else. I
36:36
love to give money to people that I adore. I love to give money
36:39
to them and that goes to their family, that goes and helps their lifestyle.
36:45
I want them to go play and have fun. I want them to
36:47
go on vacation. I want them to have their children's whatever, their children
36:52
are doing like It makes brings me joy to give my energy, my gratitude,
36:57
which is my money, to someone else that I love and care about
37:00
out so at the restaurants, like I just went to Mastro's in Beverly Hills,
37:04
share on giving her shout out. Our bartender Desiree and I went there
37:07
the day we had Oh my god, key we Margarita's, don't even start
37:09
it, Graham cracker crust thinging around the ram. Oh my god, it
37:14
was so good, so good. And Cheryl's amazing. I love to tip
37:17
her because she's great. We're showing doggie pictures. I'm showing her Quincy Journey
37:22
and Lucas's dog. She's showing me her dog. He's so cute rescue,
37:28
Oh, so cute. And so I want to tip her. I appreciate
37:34
the service that she's giving, and I appreciate her always making me feel special
37:38
and good. It makes me feel really good. I can't wait to give
37:42
her a really good tip, even though we only bought a couple of martinis.
37:45
But still it's really good. So that's a great thing to talk about
37:50
your partnership with in business, or your spouse or your lover whoever or your
37:54
friends who are you going with? Like on the ticket who how are we
37:58
going to tip? It's a tip from Juliet, like how are we?
38:01
And when people are feeling in this scarcity mode or a mindset, they might
38:07
not tip big because they literally don't have the zeros in the bank account.
38:12
And that's okay too. You're at least getting out there. You're being who
38:16
you are, and that's okay too. Sometimes being a little bit vulnerable with
38:22
someone and saying, you know, hey, you're amazing, give them another
38:27
compliment about their service, tell them something else, and say I'm going to
38:30
bring friends back here. Like in the beginning of my career, in the
38:35
beginning of my coaching career, and in my financial advising, they might not
38:39
have as much as they wanted to advise because I make money on commissions and
38:44
assets, enter management and all that stuff, and they might not have enough.
38:46
But I know that I can help them and they know it too,
38:49
and they're like, I'm so sorry I don't have them, Like no,
38:51
no, no, bring me your family and friends. That's a currency,
38:54
right, Introduce me to your favorite CPA. Like if we're in business,
39:00
we want to help other people make money in business, Like, that's what
39:05
entrepreneurs do. We help each other out. So when someone's doing good and
39:10
you appreciate them, it doesn't always have to be money. It can be
39:14
I'm going to bring friends to your establishment. I'm going to bring my family.
39:19
I'm going to host an event here, whatever it is. I'm going
39:22
to give you a shout out on your podcast. I'm gonna go on your
39:24
social media like I'm gonna go on your Yelp and give them a review.
39:28
There's so many things that we can do to help other people out besides just
39:31
the currency and just the money. So going back to that mission statement,
39:37
talk about it with yourself, Like for me, I am here to build
39:40
entrepreneurs and to help them. So that's part of my stick basically, Like
39:45
that's part of my value system. So when I have a partner with someone,
39:50
do they have that as well? Can we help share that money?
39:53
When I have a good methom, I going to leave a fantastic tip with
39:55
someone. I was in a scarcity mindset and it comes and goes right when
40:01
you're on the roller coaster. And so I learned this by the book Prosperity
40:06
Consciousness. Love that book and I gave cash out. So this is how
40:13
I did it. I did it a couple different ways. When I was
40:15
in a grocery line, I put fifty dollars towards the people behind me,
40:21
and for them to come up to the line and say that you got a
40:24
fifty dollars credit from the person in front of you. Is that just like
40:28
blowing your mind, even if it's a five dollar credit or ten dollar credit.
40:31
My girlfriend Diana and I did this in Starbucks because she was getting it.
40:35
She's like, people kept paying paying for my coffee. She'd get like
40:37
three or four coffees paid for in a month, and I'm like, that's
40:40
crazy. So then I started doing that. When i'd be through a drive
40:44
through or something, I'd say, here's ten dollars towards the people behind me.
40:47
It feels so good, and you'll all know me. I haven't said
40:51
the F word this entire time. The F word is what is most important
40:55
about everything all day long? How do you feel feel about it? Right?
41:01
So it feels so good to give. It just feels amazing. And
41:08
I know a lot of people don't like to receive, or they're not comfortable
41:13
in receiving. When I wasn't comfortable in receiving mayvoo. My coach actually had
41:16
me do this. I started with okay, don't laugh. I started with
41:21
letting people open the door for me. Oh my gosh, are you that
41:24
crazy person? I'm carrying my purse, my briefcase, a shopping bag and
41:29
someone say let me no, No, I got it, I got it.
41:30
I got it. Like what the heck is that? I got it?
41:32
I got it, got it. No, Please love for you to
41:35
open the door. Thank you so much. I just did this yesterday,
41:38
loading stuff up from journeys into my car. I was carrying a great,
41:43
big suitcase and a gentleman rushed right over and said, can I help you?
41:46
Absolutely? Could I have done it totally. Did he help me up
41:51
so much better? Yes? And he got to give, so let people
41:55
give receive. It's okay for your partner to bring you a cup of coffee.
42:00
It is okay for your partner to open the door for you. Male,
42:04
female, gender, whatever doesn't matter. Chivalry is not dead. No
42:07
matter what gender you are or identify with, it doesn't matter. It's nice
42:10
to have somebody open the fricking door for you. It's nice to have somebody
42:15
carry a package for you does not matter. So with that said, give
42:21
and receive like it's okay to receive. And when we're in that receiving mode,
42:27
how does it feel the effort Like I'm putting my hand on my heart
42:30
right now, it feels scrumptious when somebody wants to give and I can receive
42:35
and just say thank you. It's hard, and I know we always want
42:39
to give. Oh this old thing, and you know, oh, I
42:45
forgot it, my pink things. So Peterlyn gave this to me, my
42:47
friend, and I received it because it's pink and sparkly and I love it.
42:53
I love it, I love sparkles, I love all of that.
42:58
So let yourself receive. And when you're in a relationship with someone, find
43:06
out what their love language is so that you can give them love the way
43:12
they perceive it. So my third marriage, another one was another awesome menage.
43:19
These men have all been amazing. Now of course, you know I
43:22
had tragedy and all of that, but still he was still an amazing person.
43:25
He just had a mental breakdown, huge mental breakdown, to say the
43:30
least. In my third marriage, we were both type A. We're both
43:34
get things done, get or done. It was really fun. We raised
43:37
our kids together for ten years, and we agreed on money, We agreed
43:40
on a lot of different things, and it was great parenting styles well as
43:44
well. And and our communication had to be a little bit different because we
43:50
were always so fast and going. And so how I perceived love by quality,
43:58
time and touch. If you've done the five love, which is test,
44:00
it's free online, it's check it out and it's awesome. And I
44:05
needed touch. I needed to sit down, even if it was just to
44:07
sit down and watch TV, hold my hand cuddily. Whatever he gave love
44:14
by acts of service. I am not that at that point, even though
44:17
you would think I was, because I was a single mom in the house,
44:21
you know, fifty three hundred square foot house, a pool, stuff
44:23
needed to get done, I had cars, I had employees, had two
44:28
businesses, like it was crazy, four houses, the whole craziness. And
44:30
so he would always do things for me. But what I really wanted him
44:35
to do is sit down and watch TV with me, and he was not
44:37
a TV person, And so we came to a compromise. So the beginning
44:44
of the time together that we would have, we would cuddle, because that's
44:47
how I felt connected and safe. So I had to be vulnerable enough to
44:52
say or even knowing myself well enough to say, Nope, I need downtime
44:58
the first evening together. We need to cuddle, I need to touch,
45:00
I need hugs, I need to talk. No no, no, no
45:04
no. Right. So then the rest of the weekend, you could do
45:06
acts of service and I won't feel not loved when he's working his ass off
45:09
for me, doing everything you possibly can showing his love, and I leave
45:14
from the end of the weekend going okay, doesn't even care because I didn't
45:17
get quality time and touch. So knowing how your partner perceives to be cared
45:25
for, even in business, even in business, I want if I have
45:30
staff, So like Renee was my staff whatever, she was my total partner
45:35
for years, lover, and I had to hear. I had to know
45:39
how she felt cared for and she felt important because I could not be none
45:47
of us could be in business without our staff and with our support, and
45:52
we were literally fifty fifty and so she felt important by letting her make decisions
45:58
and just giving her certain things and letting her run with them. She did
46:01
not want to have to run everything by me, and she just wanted to
46:07
handle things. So I had to be vulnerable and trust enough to where this
46:12
I just share my who I am. This is who I am. This
46:15
is my bottom line, client centric. They come first, no matter what,
46:19
no no no no no no no no no. When the other advisor
46:22
before her was different on a certain way and she would want to have the
46:28
clients do some of the stuff, and so we were opposite. So we
46:32
had to talk about that on this is how I would want this done.
46:38
Now just do it. Then I trusted right, then I got a trust.
46:43
Now you just do it and run with it. And she felt important
46:45
because she was extremely important in the business. The clients loved her. I
46:50
loved her. I'm such a good advisor. Retired her early just saying I
46:52
take all the credit and just getting bit still and I miss hers too to
46:57
the day. She's still a client lover to death. And I had to
47:00
learn how she needed to have that conversation. So even in business, take
47:05
the time, take the relaxed time to hear, receive how people need to
47:15
be cared for. I hope that makes sense. I hope you've enjoyed my
47:20
rambling today. This was not planned totally spurred the moment. Through all this
47:24
together and just from a lot of questions that I've had from clients and how
47:30
we can make you joyous. I do know that when I'm working with couples
47:35
in partnerships that they do need to be here heard individually and then together as
47:42
a couple, and having a mediator explained sometimes how the other person feels,
47:47
a therapist, a coach, whatever it might be. It's so helpful for
47:53
them to hear how another person is perceiving what you're saying, so that there's
48:00
no shame and blame out of it, because we all perceive and hear things
48:06
differently. Everybody's taking breath with me. I love it, the nose out
48:14
of the mouth, really relax and sometimes when you're hearing and speaking with someone,
48:19
put your hand on your heart so that you can actually hear them.
48:22
Here's one more tip. I always try to get one really big takeaway at
48:24
the end of the show so you stay at the end of the show when
48:28
you have a partner. I call it appreciation and resentments. There's a lot
48:32
more to go with it, but I'm going to start you off with the
48:36
three appreciations and resentments I've minutes a day. Take the time to sit with
48:40
your partner. I like to hold hands. Hopefully you're not resenting it much
48:45
as much to hold hands. And if you are calling now, we need
48:46
to fix you. Hold hands. Look into each other's eyes. One person
48:51
speaking, the other person's purely hearing, listening. Three appreciations. First,
48:55
I appreciate you bringing me the coffee. I appreciate when you laundry yesterday.
49:00
I appreciate when you go out on this date with me, whatever it is.
49:02
And then three resentments. I resent that you didn't pick up this.
49:09
I resent that I'm when I ask you to do this, it doesn't happen.
49:14
It has to be specific, detailed, and like not. I resent
49:17
it when you're manipulative, that's bologney. I resent it when you said this,
49:22
but you really meant this, or like really specifics. Then the other
49:27
person goes and you take turns going first that day, and you walk away.
49:30
There's no conversation about it, there's no tip for tat, there's no
49:34
hear saying nothing. Well, I resent it when you do this. It's
49:37
not about that. It's only about hearing your partner and learning more about them.
49:45
If you're going to be in a partnership in any which way, shape
49:49
or form. It's our responsibility to learn them as well. I hope you
49:53
enjoyed that. It was an amazing time for me. We'll talk more about
49:58
appreciation and resentments. It's life changing in a relationship and it feels really,
50:01
really, really good. I want you to be able to say, I
50:05
rock my finances. I enjoy all my zeros and my abundancy, and I'm
50:08
really enjoying my life. Come back tomorrow. Check out all my other episodes,
50:13
Please share, download, like, find me on YouTube, find me
50:19
on Facebook, rock my Finances and like them all and share them so that
50:22
we can actually get some sponsorships and give you guys free stuff. That's what
50:27
I'd like to do. Thank you all so much. Check out the other
50:29
episodes every good day. We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget
50:34
to subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more engagement and bonus content.
50:39
Tell me what is your money story? Let's find out with Jennifer four
50:45
pm Eastern one pm Pacific every Thursday right here on k forour HD radio and
50:51
Talk for TV. It's not about the zeros, It's about the F word.
50:55
Feelings, feelings, Jennifer can't wait to explore with you next week.
51:00
Until then, let's all say I rock my finances.