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04 - The House of Arden - E Nesbit · Classic Science Fiction Books

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Chapter two, The Mouldiwarp Part two. Thus encouraged Elfrida said, very slowly
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and carefully, Oh, moldywarp. I think it would rather be called that
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than mold don't you, Oh moldywarp, do please come out and show us
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how to set about it? That means the treasure. I hope it'll understand.
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That's not poetry, said Edred, Yes it is if you say it
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right on, Oh moldywarp, do please come out and show us how to
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set about it? There ought to be some more, said Edred, rather
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impressed. All the same, there is, said Elfrida. Oh wait a
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minute, I shall remember directly it. What I mean is how to find
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the treasure and make Edred braven wise and kind. I'm kind enough if it
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comes to that, said Lord Arden. Oh I know you are. But
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poetry has to rhyme, you know it has. I expect poets often have
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to say what they don't mean because of that. Well say it straight through,
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said Edred, and Elfrida said, obediently, Oh, moldywarp, do
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please come out and show us how to set about it. What I mean
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is how to find the treasure and make Edred brave and wise and kind.
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I'll write it down if you've got a pencil Edred produced a piece of pink
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chalk, but he had no paper, so Elfrida had to stretch out her
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white petticoat, put a big stone on the hem, and hold it out
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tightly with both hands while Edred wrote at her dictation. Then Edred studiously repeated
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the lines again and again, as he was accustomed to repeat the Battle of
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Ivory, till at last he was able to stand up and say, oh,
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mouldywarp, do please come out and show me how to set about it.
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What I mean is how to find the treasure and make me brave and
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wise. And if you don't mind, he added, And instantly there was
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the white mole. What do you want now, it said very crossly.
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Indeed, and call that poetry. It's the first I ever made, said
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Elfrida of the hot ears. Perhaps it'll be better next time. We want
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you to do what the spell says, said Edred, make you brave and
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wise. That can't be done all in a minute. That's a long job,
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that is, said the mole viciously. Don't be so cross, dear,
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said Elfrida. And if it's going to be so long. Hadn't you
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better begin? I ain't a goin to do no more'n my share, said
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the mole, somewhat softened, though perhaps by the dear You tell me what
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you want, and perhaps I'll do it. I know what I want,
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said Edred, but I don't know whether you can do it, ha,
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laughed the mole contemptuously. I got it out of a book Elfrida got on
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my birthday, Edred, said, the children in it went into the past.
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I'd like to go into the past and find that treasure. Choose your
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period, said the mole, wearily. Choose your period? What time you'd
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like to go back to? If you don't choose, before i'd counted ten,
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it's all off one, two, three, four, It counted ten
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through a blank silence, nine ten, it ended, Oh, very well,
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then you'll have to take your luck. That's all bother, said Edred.
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I couldn't think of anything except all the dates of all the kings of
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England, all at once. Lucky to know em, said the mole,
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and so plainly not believing that he did know them, that Edred found himself
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saying under his breath, William the first ten sixty six, William the Second
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ten eighty seven, Henry the First eleven hundred. The mole yawned, which,
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of course was very rude of it. Don't be cross, dear,
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said Elfrida again, you help us your own way. Now you're talking,
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said the mole, which, of course Elfrida knew. Well, I'll give
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you a piece of advice. Don't you be nasty to each other for a
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whole day, and then you needn't talk, said Edred, still under his
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breath. Very well, said the mole, whose ears were sharper than his
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eyes. I won't, oh, don't, sighed Elfrida. What is it
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we are to do when we've been nice to each other for a whole day.
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Well, when you've done that, said the mole, Look for the
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door. What door, asked Elfrida. The door, said the mole.
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But where is it, Edred asked, in the house it be, of
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course, said the mole. Where else to gracious should it be? And
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it ran with mouselike quickness across the grass and vanished down what looked like a
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rabbit hole. Now said Elfrida triumphantly. You've got to believe in the mole,
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yes, said Edred, and you've got to be nice to me for
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a whole day, or it's no use my believing. Aren't I generally nice?
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The girl pleaded, and her lips trembled. Yes, said her brother.
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Yes, lady Arden, And now I'm going to be nice too,
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And where shall we look for the door? This problem occupied them till tea
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time. After tea, they decided to paint with the new paint box and
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the beautiful new brushes. Elfrida wanted to paint mister Miller's illustrations in the Amulet,
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and Edred wanted to paint them too. This could not be, as
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you will see if you have the book. Edred contended that they were his
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paints. Elfrida reminded him that it was her book. The heated discussion that
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followed ended quite suddenly and breathlessly. I wouldn't be a selfish pig, said
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Edred. No more would, I said Elfrida. Oh, Edred? Is
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this being nice to each other for twenty four hours? Oh? Said Edred?
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Yes? Well, all right, never mind will begin again tomorrow.
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But it is much more difficult than you would think to be really nice to
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your brother or sister for a whole day. Three days passed before the two
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Ardens could succeed in this seemingly so simple thing. The days were not dull
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ones at all. There were beautiful things in them that I wish I had
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time to tell you about, such as climbings and discoveries, and books with
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pictures, and a bureau with a secret drawer. It had nothing in it
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but a farthing and a bit of red tape. Secret drawers never have,
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but it was a very nice secret drawer for all that. And at last
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a day came when each held its temper with a strong bit. They began
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by being very polite to each other, and presently it grew to seem like
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a game. Let's call each other Lord and Lady Arden all the time and
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pretend that we're no relation, said Elfrida. And really that helped tremendously.
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It is wonderful how much more polite you can be to outsiders than you can
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to your own relations, who are, when all's said and done, the
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people you really love. As the time went on, they grew more and
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more careful. It was like building a house of cards. As hour after
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hour of blameless politeness was added to the score, they grew almost breathlessly anxious
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if after all this some natural annoyance spoil everything, I do hope, said
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Edred, towards tea time that you won't go and do anything tiresome. Oh,
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dear, I do hope I shan't, said Elfrida. And this was
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just like them. Both. After tea they decided to read, so as
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to lessen the chances of failure. They both wanted the same book, Treasure
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Island it was, and for a moment the niceness of both hung in the
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balance. Then, with one accord, each said no, you have it,
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and the matter ended in each taking a quite different book that it didn't
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particularly want to read. At bedtime, Edred lighted Elfrida's candle for her,
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and she picked up the matches for him when he dropped them. Bless their
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hearts, said missus Honeysett. In the passage they parted with the heartfelt remark,
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we've done it this time now. Of course, in the three days
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when they had not succeeded in being nice to each other, they had looked
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for the door, but as the mole had not said where it was nor
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what kind of a door, their search had not been fruitful. Most of
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the rooms had several doors, and as there were a good many rooms,
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the doors numbered fifty seven, counting cupboards, and among these there were none
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that seemed worthy to rank above all others as the door. Many of the
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doors in the old part of the house looked as though they might be the
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one, but since there were many, no one could be sure. How
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shall we know, Edred asked next morning, through his egg and toast.
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I suppose it's like when people fall in love, said Elfrida through hers.
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You see the door and you know at once that it is the only princess
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in the world for you. I mean door, of course, she added,
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And when breakfast was over, they stood up and looked at each other.
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Now they said, together, we'll look at every single door. Perhaps
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they'll be magic riding on the door, come out in the night like mushrooms,
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said the girl. More likely that mole was kidding us, said the
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boy. Oh no, said the girl. And we must look at them
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on both sides. Every one. I do wonder what's inside the door,
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don't you? Bluebeard's wives I shouldn't wonder, said the boy. With their
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heads. If you don't stop, said the girl, putting her fingers in
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her ears. I won't look for the door at all. No, I
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don't mean to be aggravating, but please, don't you know I hate it.
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Come on, said Edred, and don't be a duffer, Old Chap.
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The proudest moments fel Frida's life were when her brother called her old Chap.
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So they went and looked at all the fifty seven doors, one after
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the other, on the inside and on the outside. Some were painted and
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some were grained. Some were carved and some were plain. Some had panels
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and others had none. But they were all of them doors, just doors,
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and nothing more. Each was just a door, and none of them
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had any claim at all to be spoken of as the door. And when
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they had looked at all the fifty seven on the inside and on the outside,
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there was nothing for it but to look again. So they looked again,
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very carefully, to see if there were any magic writing that they hadn't
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happened to notice. And there wasn't. So then they began to tap the
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walls to try to discover a door with a secret spring. And that was
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no good either. There isn't any old door, said Ei. I told
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you that mole was pulling our leg I'm sure there is, said Elfrida,
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sniffing a little from prolonged anxiety. Look here, let's play it like the
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willing game. I'll be blindfolded and you hold my hand and will me to
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find the door. I don't believe in the willing game, said Edred disagreeably.
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No more do, I said Elfrida. But we must do something.
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You know. It's no good sitting down and saying there isn't any door.
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There isn't all the same, said Edred. Well, come on, So
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Elfrida was blindfolded with her best silk scarf, the blue one with the hem
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stitched ends, and Edred took her hands, and at once this happened in
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the library where they'd found the spell. Elfrida began to walk in a steady
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and purposeful way. She crossed the hall and went through the green based door
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into the other house, went along its corridor and up its dusty stairs,
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up and up and up. We've looked everywhere here, said Edred. But
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Elfrida did not stop for that. I know I'm going straight to it.
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She said, Oh, do try to believe a little, or we shall
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never find anything, and went on along the corridor where the spiders had draped
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the picture frames with their gray crape curtains. There were many doors in this
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corridor, and Elfrida stopped suddenly at one of them, a door just like
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the others. This, she said, putting her hand out till it rested
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on the panel, all spread out like a pink starfish. This is the
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door. She felt for the handle, turned it and went in, still
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pulling at Edred's hand, and with the blue scarf still in her eyes.
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Edred followed, I say, he said, and then she pulled off the
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scarf. The door closed itself very softly behind them. They were in a
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long attic room, close under the roof, a room that they had certainly
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and all their explorings never found before. There were no windows, The roof
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sloped down at the sides, almost to the floor. There was no ceiling.
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Old worm eaten roof beams showed the tiles between, and old tie beams
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crossed it, so that as you stared up it looked like a great ladder,
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with the rungs very far apart. Here and there, through the chinks
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of the tiles, a gold and dusty light filtered in and outside was the
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tick tick of moving pigeon feet, the rustling of pigeon feathers, the kooroo
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coo of pigeon voices. The long room was almost bare. Only along each
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side, close under the roof was a row of chests, and no two
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chests were alike. Oh, said Dred, I'm kind and wise now I
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feel it inside me. So now we've got the treasure, we'll rebuild the
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castle. He got to the nearest chest and pushed at the lid, but
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Elfrida had to push too before he could get the heavy thing up. And
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when it was up, alas, there was no treasure in the chest,
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only folded clothes. So then they tried the next chest, and in all
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the chests there was no treasure at all, only clothes, clothes, and
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more clothes. Again. Well, never mind, said Elfria, trying to
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speak comfortably. They'll be splendid for dressing up in That's all very well,
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said Edred. But I want the treasure, perhaps, said Elfrida with some
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want of tact. Perhaps you're not good and wise yet not quite, I
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mean, she hastened to add, let's take the things out and look at
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them. Perhaps the treasures in the pockets, But it wasn't not a bit
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of it, not even a threepenny bit. The clothes in the first chest
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were full riding cloaks in long boots, short waisted dresses, and embroidered scarves,
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tight breeches, and coats with bright buttons. There were very interesting waistcoats
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and odd shaped hats. One, a little green one, looked as though
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it would fit Edred. He tried it on, and at the same minute
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Elfrida lifted out a little straw bonnet trimmed with blue ribbons. Here's one for
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me, she said, and put it on. And then it seemed as
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though the cooing and rustling of the pigeons came right through the roof and crowded
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round them in a sort of dazzlement, and a cloud of pigeon noises.
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The pigeon noises came closer and closer, and garments were drawn out of the
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chest and put on the children. They did not know how it was done
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any more than you do, but it seemed somehow that the pigeon noises were
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like hands that helped. And presently there were the two children stood in clothing
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such as they had never worn. Elfrida had a short waisted dress of green
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sprigged cotton with a long and skimpy skirt. Her square toed brown shoes were
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gone, and her feet wore flimsy sandals. Her arms were bare. A
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muslin handkerchief was folded across her chest. Edred wore very white trousers that came
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right up under his arms, a blue coat with brass buttons, and a
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sort of frilly tucker round his neck. I say, they both said,
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when the pigeon noises had taken themselves away, and they were face to face
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in the long empty room, that was funny. Edred added, let's go
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down and show missus Honeyset. But when they got out of the door they
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saw that Missus Honeyset or some one else must have been very busy while they
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were on the other side of it, for the floor of the gallery was
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neatly swept, polished. A strip of carpet, worn but clean, ran
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along it, and Prince hung straight and square on the cleanly whitewashed walls,
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and there was not a cobweb to be seen anywhere. The children opened the
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gallery doors as they went along, and every room was neat and clean,
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no dust, no tattered curtains, only perfect neatness and a sort of rather
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bare comfort showed in all the rooms. Missus Honeyset was in none of them.
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There were no workmen about. Yet. The bay's door was gone,
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and in its stead was a door of old wood, very shaky and crooked.
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The children ran down the passage to the parlor and burst open the door,
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looking for Missus Honeyset. There sat a very upright old lady and a
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very upright old gentleman, and their clothes were not the clothes people wear nowadays.
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They were like the clothes the children themselves had on. The old lady
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was hemming a fine white frill. The old gentleman was reading what looked like
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a page from some newspaper. Hoity toity, said the old lady very severely.
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We forget our man. I think, make your curtsy. Miss Elfrida
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made one as well as she could, to teach you respect for your elders,
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said the old gentleman. You had best get by heart one of doctor
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Watt's divine and moral songs. I leave you to see to it, my
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lady. He laid down the sheet and went out, very straight and dignified,
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and without quite knowing how it happened. The children found themselves sitting on
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two little stools in a room that was and was not the parlor in which
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they had had that hopeful, eggy breakfast, each holding a marbled side of
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Doctor Watts's hymns. You will commit to memory the whole of the one commencing
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happy the child whose youngest years receive instruction well, and you will be deprived
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of pudding with your dinners, remarked the old lady, I say, murmured
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Edred. Hush, said Elfrida, as the old lady carried her cambric frills
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to the window seat. But I won't stand it, whispered Edred. I'll
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tell Aunt Edith, and oh she anyhow. He glowered at the old lady
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across the speckless carpet. Don't you understand, Elfrida whispered back. We've got
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turned into somebody else, and she is our grandmamma. I don't know how
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it was that Elfrida saw this and Edred didn't, perhaps because she was a
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girl, perhaps because she was two years older than he. They looked hopelessly
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at the bright sunlight outside, and then at the dull small print of the
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marble backed book. Edred said, the old lady, hand me the paper.
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She pointed at the sheet on the brightly polished table. He got up
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and carried it across to her. And as he did so, he glanced
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at it and saw the Times June sixteenth, eighteen o seven. And then
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he knew, as well as Elfrida did, exactly where he was and when
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end of Section four