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SYSK Selects: The Star Wars Holiday Special of 1978 · Stuff You Should Know

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello everybody. It's that time of year again for our
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: new annual tradition. This is the second year we're doing it,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: of releasing our episode on the horrible, Terrible Star Wars
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Christmas Special. By goodness, I am making this a holiday
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: tradition and I'm cramming it into our s y s
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: K Selects feed yet again. So enjoy getting the Christmas spirit.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Happy life day, everybody. Welcome to Stuff you should know
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: from how Stuff Works dot com. Hey, and welcome to
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Josh Clark with Charles W. Chuckers Bryant
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and Jerry Jerome Roland. Uh. Who's the Wookie mother? Yeah? Mala?
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: That was the Wookie wife. Oh and mother? Yeah? Sure,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Chewbacca's momb is not with them Anymonger she left, she
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: was not about to appear in that. She went out
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the window. I'm excited about this. I have to say
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: we should say Happy Star Wars Day. Yeah. Today is
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: um December. Um, I have my opening night tickets? Do
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you really sure? Wow? You know? I do you into it? Oh? Yeah,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: well I will definitely go see it in the theater,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: but um, why won't be the opening night? Sure? I've
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: gotten really adept at like, ignoring spoilers, people talking about
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: stuff all like, so I can I could conceivably see
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: this movie a month after it comes out and still
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: going fresh. It's I'm an ostrich. Yeah you black yourself out, Yeah,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: you go dark? Do I make myself go to sleep face?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: You go to the dark side. I've been there a
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: while now. Uh well, Happy Star Wars Day though, I'm
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: sure that I think this pairs nicely with Christmas Star
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Wars Day. It's all come together. Yes, Um, we already
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: missed Life Day though, so happy belated Life Day. Are
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: they celebrating it this year? November? Yeah? But it's every
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: three years? Mm hmm our cane man job. Okay, so
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: it's every three years. Started in nineteen seventy eight. Let's
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: do the math, shall we? Mm hmmm, quick math break.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I believe that two thousand fourteen was the last Life Day.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: May we just missed and then again in twenty seventeen. Okay,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: so seventeen we'll celebrate Life Day. We'll put on our
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: red robes, are ultralong, straight ironed wigs, and we'll celebrate
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Life Day the way it was meant to. Yes, And
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: if you have no idea what we're talking about We
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: are talking about Life Day, which is a celebration, uh
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: that Wookies in the Star Wars universe have every three years. Yeah,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: it's like their Christmas or the Kanza, their tent supposedly
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: sort of like Earth. They two. They celebrate the diversity
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: of their ecosystem and also remembrance of the dead, and
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: they also give gifts. They're like the Finns basically. Yeah,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: it's a it's a very interesting part of the Star
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Wars canon. It is, and it's almost entirely made up,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: dashed off you could possibly say, by um, George Lucas
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: in the seventies, um, And it's the basis of what
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: is become derided as like one of the worst things
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: that ever happened to the Star Wars galaxy. Well, not
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: only that, one of the worst things ever aired on television. Yeah,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: this galaxy. Yeah, at first, that sounds like hyperbole, Like,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: come on, it's because it was Star Wars. We had
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: high expectations. But it's really that bad. Yeah. The people
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: who say that haven't seen even a second of it. Yeah. Yeah, however,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I watched it, uh when I was a kid. Then
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: again this week, and you watched it twice this week. Yeah,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I watched it last night and this morning. There's something
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: about it. It's as morizing, it really is. It's one
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: of those things that you start watching it and you
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: want to turn it off, but you want to see
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: just how absurd it can get. Almost Yeah, and it
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: starts absurd, it stays absurd in the middle, it's increasingly
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: more absurd, it's a little less absurd, finishes super absurd. Yeah,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: it's just a train wreck in every single sense of
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: the word. Talk to bottom. It's extraordinarily difficult to overstate
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: how bad this is. And some people you know, in
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: researching this, you read about it, you read descriptions of
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: these things, and it just can't possibly be gotten across
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: until you see it. So luckily, as we will see,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: you can go onto YouTube and watch it, and you
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: may even enjoy this episode more if you pause, go
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: spend two hours watching this thing, and then come back
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: and laugh along with us. Yeah, there's a great Over
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: the years, there have been many segments of it on
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: YouTube from badly dub VHS tapes, but there's one really
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: pretty good version of it in full um brought to
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: you by W. H. I. O. Dayton Ohio Channel seven
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: because that flashes up on the screen periodically. Man, it
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: is high quality. It looks good, and it has to
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: basically be the copy that the actual UM affiliate broadcast. Yeah,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: it's like that, that quality compared to the other stuff
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: floating around on YouTube, clearly recorded on a R which
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: we're really expensive, very expensive. I did some calculating on
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: west Egg UM, so the average VCR went for about
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: a thousand dollars. There were brand new it's amazing thousand
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: dollars in nineteen seventy eight money, so they were about
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: thirty eight hundred dollars in two thousand fourteen money. Luckily,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: there were some rich people out there recording this stuff,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and the wealthy have saved us all again yet again,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: as they always do. Uh. We need to shout out
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: some articles that we use for this. There's great a
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: great article in Vanity Fair called the Han Solo Comedy
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Our exclamation Point by Frank did Jacomo. And then there's
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: the Star Wars Holiday Special was the worst thing on
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: television ever by So when we kind of know Alex
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Pasternak uh from Motherboard Yeah, which is uh not wired,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: it's uh vice. We wrote a little bit for Motherboard
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: back then, and we had a call with that, like
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: we're like old motherboard vets basically, and was there one more?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: There was another one and I don't know who wrote
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: this one chuck. Uh, yeah, it's the titles the Star
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Wars Holiday Special. George Lucas wants to smash every copy
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: of with a sledgehammer, which was a famous quote, uh
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: supposedly at a convention by Lucas, Yes, which is not correct.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: He didn't ever say that. No, okay, that that sounded
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: like something that people made up. Yes, but if you
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: go on the internet you will quickly believe that he did.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Apparently didn't, So I'm sure he felt that way though, clearly,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: because he did appear on Robot Chicken and I think
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: two thousand five on the Therapist Couch talking about how
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: much he hated the special. Alright, so let's set the background,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: shall we shall we go back to summer, getting the
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: old way back machine. All right, let's do it. All right,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: here we are, there's Waterson. Yeah, I'm just a little
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: six year old excited about Star Wars. I am, I've
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: just turned one. Yes, you don't know what's up yet.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I please forgive me if I urinate myself, no problem. Okay.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Uh so what has happened is Star Wars has become
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: a huge, huge hit, seemingly out of nowhere, establishing George
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Lucas is one of the brilliant young minds in filmmaking.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Even though it in his first movie, it was his first, huge,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: huge breakout hit. Oh yeah, for sure, talk I mean
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: talk about a breakout hit like no one had ever
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: seen anything like it before two thousand one had come
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: out in the late sixties. But it wasn't it's still
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: it still isn't accessible to all audiences. You know, it's
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: kind of cerebral film. Yeah, it's not an adventure movie.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: This was This is like basically swashbuckling on the screen,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: but you know, in a galaxy far far away. Star
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Wars just changed everything and it came on just like
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: a hammer um and a new hope. By the way, yes,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: and then then we're going to get stuff wrong, nerds,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: So yes, just go ahead and get your little fingers
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: ready to email us. Like if it wasn't driven home
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: that I'm not a nerd by the fact that I
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: don't have opening night tickets or any tickets yet. Give
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: me a break and by proxy chuck to Okay, thank you. So, um,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: it's it's hard to stay how great Star Wars was
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: in everyone's mind, right. Bill Murray came out with that
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: lounge singer Star Wars thing. It was everywhere and if
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: you if you just listen to the lyrics of it,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: he's really it's just Bill Murray singing about how much
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Star Wars is awesome. Right. So, by the following year, Um,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: George Lucas was he wanted to figure out a way
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: to keep audiences just engaged with the whole Star Wars
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: franchise that he was just starting to build. But he
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: knew the Empire Strikes Back was a couple more years out,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: so um he I think he was approached by some
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: TV executives who said, have you considered doing some sort
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: of TV special? They're all the rage right now. We
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: have a we have a graphic that's really awesome that
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: we set aside just for TV specials here at CBS.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Why don't you let us let's get together and do
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: a Star Wars special. That's right. Producers Gary Smith and
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Dwight Himmi on, Uh, We're working over at CBS, and
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: they said, this is a great way to keep the
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: spirit alive while you're making your other movie. Maybe move
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: some more toys. Yeah, which George Lucas got to. So
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: it was right before Thanksgiving, and he said, there'll be
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: a lot of people watching TV um pre holiday season,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: or I guess in the holiday season. Well, the weekend
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: before Thanksgiving, it's like everybody's shopping, sitting around family like
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: waiting to actually do stuff. That's perfect time to broad
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: cast something on TV. So Lucas says, all right, let's
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: do this. I don't have a ton of time, but
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: how about this. I'll get I'll get a story together,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: and then you can go hire a whiz bang team
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: of veteran writers and producers and directors whatever genre you
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: think is appropriate. And those are the words that will
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: haunt you, George Lucas to his grave. Yeah, so Lucas said,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: here's my idea. I wanted to be based um on Wookiees,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: and I wanted to take place on their home planet
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: of Kizuk or Wookie planet. See is that how you
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: say Kazuk. That's how it's pronounced in the episode the
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Holiday Special, but it's also pronounced different ways. Other times
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I would have pronounced that Cashi e E got spell
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: it k a s h y y y K, which
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, I guess that sounds like Chewbuck is planet
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: sure also called G five Wookie planets see or Eaton
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: is a mid rim planet. Right. So the whole reason
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: apparently that George Lucas was interested in featuring the Wookies
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: was it is what we in show business call low
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: hanging fruit. The reason why it was low hanging fruit
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: was because they had just established the different scenes that
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: would make the cut for Empire Strikes Back and uh,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: what how did you pronounce it? Again? Kazook had not
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: made the cut. Uh. Even prior to this, apparently for
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: a new hope, George Lucas had whipped up a forty
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: page what's known as the Wookie Bible. It's like a
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: forty page supplement that's all about Kazook and Wookies and
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Chewbacca and his family and everything about Wookie Doom. Right,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: So he's like, I've got this thing already, you know
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: established I love Wookies. Um, they didn't make the cut.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I'm a little sad about that. They're not gonna Kazuok
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: is not gonna show up in an Empire strikes back.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Let's let's build the entire special around wookies. It's basically
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: the one demand me George Lucas has. That's I'll be
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: totally hands off from this point on which you kind
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: of was. He totally wasn't It was actually this experience
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: that apparently taught him to be the very hands on
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: person that he is famous for being. It came out
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: of this Christmas special. Absolutely he was burned, and um
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: he had an iron grip after that on everything. So
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: here's some some of the folks behind it. Bruce Valanche,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: famous TV writer. You've probably seen him on Hollywood Squares.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Wasn't he suspected of being Thomas pinch On for a while?
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know, or was Thomas pinch On on Hollywood Squares?
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I have no idea. I may be confabulating some stuff confounding. Yeah,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: there's some kind of some sort going on. It sounds
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: like it. So Valanche was hired as a writer. A
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: guy named Lenny Rips was hired as a writer who
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: has some great quotes in that Vanity Fair article he does.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: His first quote was, we were really excited because this
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: is Star Wars. How could it lose famous last words?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Who else was sired? There was a husband and wife team,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: the welch Is, who are the parents of folk singer
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Gillian Welch. I'm a big fan of and I had
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: no idea that her parents. They were producers slash songwriters
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: of the day. They were big on the variety show scene,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: which would turn out to be a really key cog
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: in this whole experience. So I feel like, right about here,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Jerry should insert a needle coming off of a record
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: sound effect. Okay, thanks Jerry, So Chuck, you just said
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: singer songwriters. Yeah, what would that have to do with
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Star Wars? Yeah? Well, actually, in this Star Wars holiday special,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: for those of you hadn't seen it, there are musical numbers.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: They decided from the outset that there should be musical numbers.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: And the reason that they decided that there should be
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: musical numbers is because the people who sold George Lucas
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: and at the time it was Star the Star Wars
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Corporation was what it was called um On. The idea
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: of doing this TV special was that everyone would love
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: a variety show. Yea, it was the seventies. Great idea,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: let's do a Variety Show. The problem was this, Apparently
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: George Lucas didn't watch enough TV, and he also overly
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: trusted people who talked to him because by yes, variety
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: shows had dominated television for over ten years, but it
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: had come to an end. It was getting stale. Yeah,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: we're talking to Carol Burnett show. One of my favorite
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: had just been canceled after eleven seasons, Big Red Flag,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Sonny and Chair had just had its last season. Um,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I mean what else, like he Hall was he? I
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: was still going on, probably still on solid golden yet
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: to come on and take up the mantel that that
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: would variety show. Oh, it was a little bit and
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: there was talking in between the songs. Remember the Mandrell's
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Sister show. I never watched that one. Well, it's with
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: that country chic thing that happened. Yeah, it was a
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: big deal in the it's kind of happening a in
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I think, Oh, because of that dude, the guy who
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: won all the c m A Awards. I don't know,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: he's like he's he came along. He's like actually country.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: His dad's like a coal miner for real from Kentucky.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I think I know you mean Chris something. Yeah, he's
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: he is good. He's come along and been like, what
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: are you guys doing? Well, there's a revival in like
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: good country music again. That's like in the tradition of Merle,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Haggard and Cash. And I guess that's probably where the
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Country Sheet came from, because there was actually good country
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: going on. Yeah, Johnny Cash out of Variety Show? Did
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: he really? Yeah? I knew they did, like a Sunday
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: singing thing like out in Virginia. Yeah, he had his own.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Variety Show is actually pretty good. There's some like really
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: great performances. Do you know how many nerds are like,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: get back to Star Wars? I know, I'm so sorry.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: All right, So the Variety Show is is dying sort of,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: and so they figure, what a great time to take
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: the biggest movie property on the planet and wedge it
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: into the Variety Show milieu. I don't know if wedge
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: is the right word. I think maybe uh, nestle it
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: in there and then start hitting it with the blunt
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: edge of an axe until it mashes into that crevice.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: You know. Because this is the time when Fantasy Island
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: had just started. Um Mork and Mindy was about to
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: change things Charlie's Angels was getting huge. It basically television
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: as we knew it from two whenever the real world
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: came along. Just escape as television is what they called
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: it was was starting and it was the hip new thing.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: So basically, if they had turned Han Solo and Princess
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Leiah and Luke Skywalker into maybe you know, sexy detectives,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: it might have gone over even better. But they went
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: the other way. They decided to latch onto this extraordinarily
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: stale um genre of television and they hired the best
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: in the business, like there was there was. There was
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: a quote from I think Lenny RiPPs who was saying,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: like we had literally a dream team, a variety show
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: dream team, and everybody was good. But there were probably
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: no bad welders on the Titanic. He there. That's a
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: great quote. Yeah. The guy they hired to direct it
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: initially was a dude named David A. Coomba, and he
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: had made his name for Welcome to the Fillmore East.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: It was a concert documentary with Van Mortrison, Van Morrison
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: and the Birds in nine one, and he actually was
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: at usc Film School at the same time as Lucas.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Even though they didn't know each other, and um, he
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: only ended up directing about three segments of the thing
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: before he quit. Yet before he walked off, some say
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: he was actually let go, but we'll get to him
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: in a minute and who replaced him. As as we
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: get along down this uh gross road, well, let's let's
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: take a little break because I'm I'm overly excited. Okay, alright,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: so we've established most of the main players. We'll we'll
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: get to a few more. We should point out that, um,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Mark hamill And and Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: they had no grounds to refuse to be on this basically, yeah,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: pretty much. They were not huge, huge stars, yet they
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: could throw their weight around and say this is terrible
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: and I'm not doing it. They were. They were big
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: overnight because of Star Wars, for sure, but they weren't
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: to the adoring public back at the studio. They could
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: still be bossed around. And this is the result of it.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: And you can tell also, um, just from watching the
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: actual special, like Harrison Ford is not happy to be
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: there at any point. Um, Princess Leiah is clearly on drugs.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Uh was she on drugs at this point? She? If
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: you watch it, she's she's on drugs, Especially the ending
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: scene Mark Campbell, it was looks like he's happy to
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: be there. Actually he was fine, but apparently he said no,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm not doing a musical number. And if you
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: watch his part, wedging a musical number in there would
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: have been even more painful. Um. But they everybody who
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: was part of the actual Star Wars franchise that wasn't
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: wearing like a full body costume was like, I really
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: wish I wasn't here, And you can tell, oh yeah.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: In fact, in the opening uh credit sequence, they're showing
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: the picture that you know, the faces of the people,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: and you see Harrison Ford as if he's flying the
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Millennium Falcon, and you can you can just hear the
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: guy off screen going now look at the camera and
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: just give a nod. Just look at the camera and
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: give a nod. And he finally you can tell he's
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: piste off and he looks up at the camera and
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: just sort of smirks yeah and points at the camera
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: like okay, I'm looking at the camera, and then goes
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: back to what he's doing. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. I
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: felt bad for him so early on Valanche and others
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: did you did you feel bad for him? Though? Really?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, like, come on, it's Harrison Ford's Hans Solo.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: He has to go do this for like five days. Yeah,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I felt terrible for him. I think it's hilarious that
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: they had to do this, especially now. Well, early on,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Valanche and others knew that they may be in trouble
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: because they decided not to subtitle any of the Wookie dialogue,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: and they literally started after a brief opening scene setting
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: it up here. Here's the basic plot is, Han Solo
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: is trying to get Chewbacca back to Kazook in time
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: for Life Day so we can celebrate with his family.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: That's the basis of the entire two ys. The basis
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: the entire two hours. They encounter a space battle and
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: they're delayed, and the next two hours are kind of
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: what's going on while the delay is happening back on Kazoo,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: back on Kazook. Because you hear, like, okay, well, Han
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Solo and Chewbacca evading the Imperial Guard and all that
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: stuff for two hours. I would watch that. I would too.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: That's not what they show killing time at the Wookie household.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: That is what they show. Yeah, that's what they do.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: It's people hanging out waiting for Chewbacca, worrying about him,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: and then killing time while they wait for him to
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: come back. Literally, so um and so hold on. So
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: you say there's a setup, right, Yeah, that's the initial
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: setup and then chuck. That's followed by this. Yeah, it's
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: followed by literally ten minutes, ten solid minutes of incomprehensible
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Wookie speak. So let's let's join it for a second,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: shall we. Yeah, let's all enjoy it. And again, you
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: said ten minutes, and you're not exaggerating, you're not being hyperbolic.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: You can time it. That's it's ten minutes of wook
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: He's talking to each other with no subtitles. Fortunately, I
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: couldn't follow it at first, like I didn't even know
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: who it was. I thought it was might have been
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Chewbacca's mom and dad. Oh that's a little brother. And
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I don't find out until later when Mark Cambell shows
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: up via skype call and says, he really explains everything
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: that had just happened, Like, you're Chewbacca's father, Itchy, you're
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Chewbacca's son, uh, lumpy Lumpy, and you're Chewbacca's wife. Oh mama, yeah,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: thank you. So before everybody starts like freaking out, we
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: know that that's actually their nicknames. Their real names are.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: His father is a Ti chick cook, a Ti chick cook,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: it's really hard to pronounce. Mulatto Buck is his wife,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: and his son is Lumpo war Rump but as named
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: by Lucas. But yeah, but Lucas also named him Lumpy
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Itchy and Mala so um. They're all back there wringing
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: their hands, trying to figure out ways to pass the
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: time until they get word from Chewbacca that he's made
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: it to uh what is it ketchuck z kazuok um
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: just ketchup ketchup or cats up if you're fancy. Um.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: But Chewbacca is having trouble getting back to Katchuk because
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: there's Kazuk because there's a blockade by the Empire and
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: they're looking for rebels, specifically Chewbacca. Who I didn't realize this.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: He's the most famous Wookie of all. Did you know that? Yeah,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: of course I didn't know that. Well, I mean he's
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: the only one that really appears in the movies. I
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: mean that we're seeing, like you know, these people's view
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: of the universe. What about back on Zook. Yeah, he
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: might have just been a fly by night wookie, right, yeah,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: but not the case, very famous wookie. Yeah, and he
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: really loved it, like soak in his fame. All right,
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: So he realizes there's a problem. Valanche. He goes to
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Lucas and it's like, I don't know, man, this is
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: your world, but it may not be the strongest thing
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: to do to set this in wookie Land and have
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: all this incomprehensible dialogue. And he says he was met
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: with a glacial stare. Uh. Well, he put it a
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: little differently than that. Well, he said glacial stair. He did.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: The glacial stair that he got was for this quote.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: He said, these people just talk and what sounds like
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: fat people having an orgasm. He goes, if you want,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: you can set up a tape recorder in my bedroom
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: and I'll do all of the follying for it. Yeah.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: He's a large guy, he is, so uh that's what
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: got the glacial stare. But Valanche later said that from this,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: there was one development meeting that Lucas attended, and it
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: was here's the Wookie Bible tell me what you got,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: and Valanche said he and the other writers and producers
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: and director were just kind of throwing ideas, and George
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Lucas would either say like, no, that doesn't work, give
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: him a glacial stare, or say, yes, that's exactly it. Yes,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: let's make this a variety show. Yeah. And there was
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: a little bit of um background there. The cantina players
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: in the band had appeared on other variety shows at
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: that point, and I think it went over fairly well,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: just as a short segment on like the Richard Pryor
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Variety Show or Donnie Marie um Man. There were a
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: lot of variety shows. But that's what I'm saying. It
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: was that was television. That's what you did, like the breaks,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: um the The show had its course, and then it
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: became a variety show. It was just everybody love variety shows.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: By this time, though, everybody was sick of variety shows
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: and so it really was a terrible choice. In fact,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: they even hired a couple of writers from Shields and Yarnell,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: which I hadn't heard of. Oh yeah, I watched it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: It was creepy, this mind couple who had their own
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: variety show, and they figured these two will be great
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: because they are used to working without words, right, So,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: and so there is a certain logic to the variety show.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: It's not that's just that variety shows were popular at
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: the time. Somebody was like, well, Wookie's you don't understand
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: what they're saying. So this is all going to be
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: very physical. So these people who who did what is
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: it shields in yard? Now, yeah, that that's a perfect choice.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: That that makes complete sense. You can see this whole
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: this whole process of leading up to the point where
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: it was produced and shot and everything a series of like, oh,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: we have this problem, Well here's a fix, but that
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: leads to another problem. Well we'll fix it with the
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: and and no one stepping back and being like, all
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: we've done is create a series of problems that are
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: going to come together and make one extraordinarily large problem
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: that will become legendary. No one did that, And so
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: the whole thing was was made. That's right. And it
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: eventually airs on November seventeen, nineteen seventy eight, a Friday,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: at eight pm Eastern time. That's right, and Nielsen ratings
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: it um attracted thirteen million viewers just the second hour
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: just in the US. It aired in six or seven
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: countries total. Yeah, but no one cares about that, I
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: guess not because none of those are on the internet,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: you know. Uh. It finished second to the Love Boat
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: in the second I'm sorry from eight to nine, and
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: in the next hour actually finished behind part two of
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: a mini series about Pearl Harbor starring Angie Dickinson. So
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: it didn't even win their respective hours. No, thirteen million,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: that's that's not bad. The thing is, apparently if you
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: look at the Nielsen ratings graph for the first hour,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah we know about that graphic. It's okay, yeah, we do.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: And then after a very important part, which we'll talk
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: about soon. Um, it just drops off at the end
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: of the first hour, and that actually probably made the
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: executives at CBS cringe for a number of reasons. Number
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: one is this special was originally supposed to just be
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: an hour, but so many advertisers wanted to sign on
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: that they extended it to two hours. And it shines
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: through you can totally tell that this thing was never
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: supposed to I think an hour might have been stretching it.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: To tell you the truth, it's thirty minutes of content,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: forty if you're generous an hour and then two hours,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: it becomes one of the worst things that was ever
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: put on television. All right, well, let's take a break
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: and then we'll talk a little bit more about the
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: actual um uh, even I don't want to call it content,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: but it is content in the strictest definitions. Right after this, sorry, George. Alright,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: So the show itself, we've given you the main plot line,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: which again is that Chewy is trying to get back
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: to his home planet to celebrate life Day with his family. Right,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: that's it, And again we almost barely see Chewy. H
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: The rest is his family on because waiting for him
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: to come back for a life Day. Yeah. So, um.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Some of the various things they did, they were guest stars.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: There was Harvey Corman from The Carol Burnett Show, one
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: of my all time favorites him or Carol Carol Burnett
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Show both. He's great. Yeah, he actually if you watch
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: what he's doing, you're like, this is comedy genius. For apparently,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: he too was like the only one on set that
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: was bringing levity. He was joking around and kind of
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: kept spirits up. Good for him, that's what I say.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: And he had three, three different parts. Yeah, he played
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: uh uh well, I don't even know the names. Actually
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: we could look him up, but he played a He
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: played a Julia child like cook. There's an actual cooking segment,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: a long one, a very long cooking segment where Chewbacca's
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: wife Um makes Banta stew to kill some time, to
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: kill some time because there was waiting on her planet
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: and in our living room. Yeah, so Harvey Corman is
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: in drag is a foe armed Julia childlike uh TV
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: chef and I think it's Gormanda. Is her name Gormanda?
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: That makes total sense. He also plays Um. There's this
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: one weird bit where Chewbacca's son tries to figure out
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: a way to trick the stormtroopers that the Empire had
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: come and kind of because the blockade raided the house
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: and other properties. He tries to trick them by I think,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: rigging a calm link to speak in a different voice.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: So he has to watch the instruction manual. He watches
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: an instruction video which was Harvey Kitel as a robot. Oh,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: it would have been wonderful of big Harvey Kitel. Harvey
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Carvey Corman, Oh man ha murders someone in the middle
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: of the instruction Harvey Corman. And then the final role
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: he had was as a a bar patron in the
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: cantina that drinks. He has a hole in the top
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: of his head like a volcano, where he pours his
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: drinks in. That's how he drinks. And he he loves
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: b Arthur. Did we mention be Arthur was in it?
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: B Arthur is not only in it, Chuck. She sings
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: a song. She does. She is thennownst to everyone, she
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: manages or maybe owns the owner. Yeah, the what's the mos?
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: What mos deaf cantina? Uh? No, most deaf is a rapper.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think you mean Moss Eisley. Yes, yes,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: that cantina. She's the owner. Be Arthur is the owner,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: the author of the Golden Girls, but in this case,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: the Arthur of Maud, because, as one of the people
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: who wrote one of the articles we based this on
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: points out, she's just basically playing Maud as the owner
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: of the cantina. Yeah, and her song comes because um,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: they basically say, there's a lockdown, so you gotta call
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: last call um at your bar. So she calls last
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: call by singing a song to everyone, right, and again,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: we can't possibly have the script lead anywhere else but
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Chewbacca's house while his family waits for it. So all
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: this takes place as part of a public service announcement
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: basically broadcast by the Empire about how immoral life on
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: tattooing is. So let's go see what's going on in
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: the mas Eisley Cantina as it's being shut down for curfew. Alright,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: this is incomprehensible, but it goes on. Um, so they're
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: in it. There's also Art Carney, Yes, the Honeymooners family,
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: the star of the whole thing. Really, he has the
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: most lines, I would say, the most comprehensible line. Right.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: So he plays a trader, a human trader um that is,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: uh recently been with Han Solo and Chewy and actually
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: gets to Kazuk and says they're on the way. It's
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: all good. Yeah, a trader, not trade tour. Yeah, traders
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: in trades humans for you know money. No, he he
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: sells goods. Yeah, a trader. He doesn't trade humans. Yeah,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: he's in the human trade. He No, he isn't. Really
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: he trades humans like he sells humans. I looked it
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: up in the Star Wars Encyclopedia said that he was
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: in the human trade. Huh, So in this Christmas special,
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: apparently they sanitized his his background because he's basically just
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: selling like gadgets and novelties and stuff like that to
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: the Wookies and the Empire who were occupying the area. Yes,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: he comes bearing gifts because he's a friend of Chewbacca's family. Yeah,
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: so he comes bearing gifts. One of the gifts he
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: gives is a UM sort of like a little digital
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: insert to a Oh, I guess you would call it
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: a virtual reality hair dryer hair dryer, like a beauty
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: shop hair dryer. Right. He gives it to Grandpa Itchy.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Grandpa Itchy um sits under this hair dryer pops in
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: this uh digital cassette, and it can only be described
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: as softcore porn. Apparently the writers who were interviewed for
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: this said that was totally the intent. They were trying
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: to get what amounted to softcore porn that would pass
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: the sensors. So it's all m You can't even say
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: it's innuendo. It's too obvious in overt for innuendo. Instead,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: it's just it's just it's just gross. It's really gross. Um,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Diane Carroll singer, Yes she is, Um, a Vegas staple,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: shows up and starts basically tantalizing. Um. Grandpa Itchy, who again,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: this is Chewbacca's elderly father who now engages in some
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: sort of well he's he's watching virtual reality pornography now,
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: and this is a pretty lengthy segment in and of itself.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, and she literally says to him like, now
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: I can see you're really excited. Yeah, it's pretty rough
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: to watch. Yeah, so then you've got another musical number
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: because also again he shutters, yeah, it's really strange. All right,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: So there's also ah, I know, it seems like we're
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: jumping around, but it's it's so mind blowing, not like
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: this is pretty much like blow for blow. Um. Actually
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I forgot earlier on in in the in the special, Um,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: there's one of my favorite sequences is when Grandpa Itchy
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: goes over to Lumpy and basically sets up remember the
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: the hologram chessboard that they played in A New Hope,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: basically kind of sets that up and says, here, just
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: play this. He pushes the button, which is clearly a
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: nineteen seventies cassette recorder and another Uh, like it's like
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: a Cirque de sol acid trip um gymnast routine happens
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: in front of the kid's eyes. And again this all
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: just it's not like it shows a snippet. They showed
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: the entire segments, like five six minutes long of all
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: of these things. So you would think, Okay, they've gone
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: to this hologram, well a couple of times, why not
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: go to it again? Well they do. They do to
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: kill more time. While the Imperial Guard is ransacking their house. Um,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Art Carney apparently, I guess it's trying to get one
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: of the Imperial Guard, the leader I think, or one
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: of the leaders who looks like somebody from Spaceballs by
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: the way, very much so. Um. And the writer of
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: the Vanity Fair article, by the way said, um, this,
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: this is so incomprehensible. This sechelis George Lucas didn't even
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: have the Schwartz with him at the time. So anyway,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: our Carney's distracting this uh imperial leader. Um, while they're
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: ransacking the Wookie's house, Chewbacca's house with a hologram, and
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: this hologram instead of being an acrobat or Diane Carroll
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: or any kind of porn or anything like that is
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Jefferson Starship, and they decide that they're going to play
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Light the Sky on Fire, which apparently is about UFOs.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: It's a little music video. Basically, it's a pretty Yeah,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: it's the predecessor to like video kill the radio Starr
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: you can tell um. And again it is the whole
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: lengthy song, the whole thing. So every time that somebody's
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: like we need to escape mentally from what's going on
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: here in our house, let's go into the video world,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: it's not just and they don't cut back and forth.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: It's okay, here's five minutes of Jefferson stars of performing
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: this song. Yeah, and even the Jefferson Starship guys um
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: were like, yeah, that's sort of a weird trip, Like
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: we didn't get it, but we did it right. They
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: gave us some money and some cocaine. Well probably, so
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: we said, yeah, chuck. I think though, um, there yet
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: another segment like this is actually widely regarded as the
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: high point of the whole thing. So there is a
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: cartoon actually yeah that Lump Lumpy watches Yeah Lump, He's
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: like the Imperial Guard is still ransacking my house. I
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: think I'll entertain myself by watching a cartoon on my
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: little Um, I don't know what. I guess it was
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: an iPad and uh, he watches this cartoon and it's
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: it's actually remarkable for a number of reasons. It's the
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: best part of the whole special generally agreed upon as such,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: not just us. And it introduces Boba Fett. It's the
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: first time Boba Fett ever makes an appearance in the
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Star Wars universe. Yeah, it's actually not a bad And
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: you can't find it in the the one version I
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: told you to watch. They removed it for copyright. But
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: he didn't watch a separate version, right, you can find
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: it on its own. Yeah, and it's um, it's very
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: much reminiscent of like the cartoon style of the day,
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: like a he Man or something even even but it's
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: even a little more artsy than that. Yeah. But it
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: does have a plot that you can follow that makes
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: sense as a Star Wars thing, and it introduces Boba Fette,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: like you said, And um, it's actually not bad. It's
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: like Luke and R two and C three p O. Yeah,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: and they're like they crash on a planet or something. Yeah.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: And Han and Chewarry You're in it, and it's the
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: first time we see in Darth Vader. It's the first
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: time we see Boba Fette and that he is, uh,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: that he is just doing whatever he can do for money,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Like Luke trusts him at first. C three b I
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: was like, you sure you should trust him this quick?
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: And he's like, oh three p o you and your
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: non trusting ways. And then it turns out he's selling
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: them out to the dark side. So it's it's basically
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: Boba Fett is an allegory for George Lucas himself. Um,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: So the cartoon comes and goes, and that was the
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: thing that came at about the end of the first
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: hour mark and after that everybody just turned off their
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: television sets. Yeah, I don't remember. Did you watch this
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: when it came up? Yeah? I remember watching it, but
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: I don't remember much about it, like if I made
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: it through it all. I mean it was I was
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: seven and it was on until ten, so I probably
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: didn't make it through it all. Um, you're probably disturbed.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Who knows. I just remember that. I have to ask
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: my brother. He might have a memory of this. Oh,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Betty does, I'm sure he met everybody afterwards or something
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: like that. You know, it has a picture. Well, he
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: was ten at that point, so cynicism had, you know,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: become a thing in his life probably by then, didn't
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: that When cynicism kicks into he'scott holding out the fourteen
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: fifteen Yeah maybe so so um chuck, the whole thing
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: finally does in. And actually there's a guy, his name
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: is Nathan Raban, he writes over at the A V Club.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: He had a great quote. He basically said that one
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: of the great redeeming values of this um, this special
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: is that it does eventually end. Yeah, you know what
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: the first part of the quote is, I'm not convinced
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: the special wasn't ultimately written and directed by a sentient
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: bag of cocaine. And like, go read his his review
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: of the Star Wars Holiday Special, because he goes on
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: to describe exactly what that must have been, like the
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: development meeting where the bag of cocaine is pacing back
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: and forth talking about what should happen. That's what it
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: feels like. But it doesn't, and it ends even more.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: It takes this bizarre two hours and wraps it up
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: in just a nice bizarre bow. Yeah. So what happens
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: is eventually Han Solo should we say spoiler alert. Eventually
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Han Solo and Chewy make it to the planet. They
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: park on the far side of the planet because they
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: know the uh the Imperial forces are there and the
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: exercise will do Chewy good, so they have to hike
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: over there. They eventually make it back home. Uh, they
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: find a storm the stormtroopers at their house. Um, their
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: tree hut. Yeah, which by the paintings that set this up,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think we mentioned I don't even call him
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: Matt paintings that it looks like someone painted something on
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: the wall and they just like put a camera in
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: front of it pretty much. Yeah. So they get back
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: and um, Chewbacca, Han Solo hides around the corner of
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: Chewbacca steps in front of his son to protect him.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Han Solo jumps out, and the stormtrooper trips over a
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: pile of logs and falls over the balcony and dies
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: in a holiday special. So they wouldn't even not only
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: could he not shoot first with Grido, but they couldn't
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: even have him like wrestle the storm trooper and throw
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: him off. He trips over a log and Han Solo
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: has his hands thrown up like wasn't me? It might
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: also been a banana peel, you know, But again, uh,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: this is basically produced by vaudevillians starring vaudevillians. Why not
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: have the one death take place from basically what it
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: mounts to somebody slipping on a banana peel? Exactly. It's
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: a perfect way to end it. So that's uh that
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: that guy basically represents the end of the Imperial threat
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: for the rest of Life Day. And um, we we
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: then see Life Day being celebrated, which is celebrated by
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: lots of wookies assembling in what looks like a giant
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Olan Mills portrait. Um, and all of them are wearing
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: red robes. And I know I'm up talking, and it's
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: because my mind is still having trouble like wrapping around this.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: And then um, Princess Leia comes out with C three
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: P O is Mark Hamill there, the whole gang zero
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: from okay, the whole gangs there, And then they all
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: gather around to hear a great quote from Princess Leiah,
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: which we will read um verbatim. This holiday is yours,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: but we all share with you the hope that this
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: day brings us closer to freedom, into harmony, into peace.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: No matter how different we appear, we're all the same
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: in our struggle against the powers of evil and darkness.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I hope that this day will always be a day
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: of joy in which we can reconfirm our dedication and
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: our courage, and more than anything else, our love for
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: one another. This is the promise of the Tree of
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Life que song, right, And we should also point out
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: the tree of Life has never been mentioned up to
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: this point. Takes a sudden appearance at the end. And
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: when you said que song, by que song, you mean
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Princess Leiah starts singing. Yeah. And apparently that was one
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: of the big contingencies on Carrie Fisher being involved. She's
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: going through a phase where she was like, I kind
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: of like singing. Bruce Valanche calls it her Joni Mitchell period. Yeah,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: and she somehow convinced them to let her sing as
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: Princess Leiah. And she does. And again I've said that
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: she looks like she's on drugs. This is the point
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: where she really does look like she's on drugs. And
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: it's not just me Um other writers who have written
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: reviews of this, it's really obvious that she possibly smoked
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: a decent amount of pot before she shot this shot
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: this scene, but she sings, Oh, okay, it's fine. It's
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: just the fact that um, Princess Leigh is singing. And actually,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Bruce Valanche had a really great quote too. He says that, um,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: she very much wanted to show this side of her talent,
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: and there was general dismay because this was not what
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: we wanted Princess Leia to be doing. She did it anyway.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: So the whole thing ends with her singing this song
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: about life day, which is set loosely to the John
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Williams Star Wars theme. Uh. So along the way, the
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: director original director quit, A new director, Steve Binder, was
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: hired to finish the job and bring it in. Uh.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: And he did over the original one million dollar budget,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: of course always Uh, he did bring it in and
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: um at this point George Lucas had uh. He was
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: he was working on Empire Strikes Back. He didn't know
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: what was going on. He wasn't around for the shoot. No,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: it wasn't until it aired. I think that he actually
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: saw it. Yes, and it was a havsty obviously, if
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: you haven't noticed that by now, critics hated it. Star
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Wars fans really hated it. Everybody hate The people who
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: were in it hated it. Lucas hated it. Even Harvey
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Corman secretly hated it. Even Harvey Kitel hated Actually he
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: loved it. But Lucas has been asked over the years
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: about it a lot, and he doesn't talk about it much.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: But in two thousand five, and I don't buy this
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: for a second. He says, um it was an interview
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: he said special from I really didn't have much to
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: do with us. You know that part is true. I
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: can't remember what network it was even on, but it
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: was a thing that they did. That's a lie. There's
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: no way he doesn't know that was cvt uh. We
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: kind of just let them do it. I believe that
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: it was done by I can't even remember who the
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: group was, but they were variety TV guys. I'm sure
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: he remembers a few of them. We let them use
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: the characters and stuff, and that probably wasn't the smartest
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: thing to do, but you learned from those experiences. I
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: think they even used some of the footage from the
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: movie at the end. It looks like some space, like
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: a highlight reel the Gang Well, and during the UM
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: it looked like some of the they had some insert
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: shots of like Imperial cruisers and Thai fighters and stuff that.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: Remember when when Chewbacca like leans back and puts his
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: hands behind it, that's in there. It's it's like a
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: it's just a highlight reel from the movie. Saying like
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: I feel like this, go see the movie. Well, and
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: also that means it doesn't match the look of the
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: rest of it at all. Yeah, that's true. It's just
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: sort of inserted. They tried. They definitely tried UM, and
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: George Lucas is totally full of it because in nine
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: seven he told star Log magazine that the Christmas Special
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: would be out on video cassette very soon, and in
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: two thousand seven, two years after that quote, you just
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: read where he's like, I don't even know what you're
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: talking about. Basically UM. He apparently considered releasing the Christmas
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Special as a bonus on the the DVDs of the
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: first three right, but did not it. And apparently Carrie
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Fisher told Lucas that if you want me to do
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: UM DVD extras commentary commentary, then I want a clean
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: original copy of the Holiday special, So why go ahead
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: so I can play at parties when I want people
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: to leave. It's pretty great. It is so uh and
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: there is one of those clean copies is floating around
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: out there, so you can watch this in it in
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: its entirety. Some of it, like the cartoon, was removed
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: due to copyright infringement and that kind of stuff, but
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: as as the case with the rest of the Internet,
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: you can just go find it elsewhere and piece it together.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: There's also the original ads that aired in Baltimore that
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: are just fascinating. Those are always fun gm ads where
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: one of the guys who's in quality control is he says,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: did you watch it? I don't think I saw that.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: He goes, um, we really care about these cars and
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: that's no job man, a GM man, and he's like,
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: it's serious. They're trying to be hip. Yeah. Um, it's
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: a pretty good stuff. Here's my final thought on it.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: I love it. It does not taint my Star Wars
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: experience or my love for the franchise, and I'm glad
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: it is out there because it it's a it's a
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: fun little stain that shouldn't be taken too seriously. I
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: think it adds to it actually, because it's campy and awful,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: and I don't know somehow that enriches the rest of it.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I'm with you. Do you like it? Oh? Yeah? I
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: mean I watched it twice. I wouldn't have watched it
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: a second I wouldn't have made it through the first time.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Let me take that back, as I'm a pro, so
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: I would have made it through the first time. I
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have watched it a second time if I wasn't.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: There wasn't something about it, and I figured out. I
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: think the thing that I like the most about it
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: is Lumpy, Chewbacca's son, played by an actress named Patty Maloney,
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: who frankly is hands down the best actor in the
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: entire thing. She like her responses and everything. It's just awesome.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: I think my favorite parts are, uh, well, there's a
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: great Wilhelm scream trips over the law. Jerry would not
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: have noticed it. Uh And then there's a part where
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: all the wikie dialogue you can't understand, but there's clearly
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: one part where where Itchy and Lumpy are ha any
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: exchange where Lumpy you can make it out goes I
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: love you, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed that, but it's
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: covered up. But someone was like, we have to have
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: at least one exchange where you sort of know what
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: they're saying, or they were like, I think she just
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: said I love you. Should we have them redo it?
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: And then directors like, no, I want to go and Chuck.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: There's one other thing that I figured out from watching this.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: It's not readily apparent. The whole thing is made all
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: the more odd, and that there's situation after situation after
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: situation where we as normal audiences, were trained to expect
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: the laugh track, but there's not a laugh track. Had
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: there been a laugh track, it what it might have
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: been less is are but the fact that it's missing
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: just makes your agitates the mind. So it's this whole
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: additional element that it is weird. I never thought about that.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: There's just weird moments of silence all throughout it. YEA
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: like when Art Carney's doing his thing, Yeah, telling jokes. Yeah, okay,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I agree with you, Chuck. Don't take things too seriously.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I think that's the great lesson in this. Yeah, And
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: that's the lesson of life day it is and in
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: two thousand seven, Rift Tracks Great Mystery Science Theater. Three
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: thousand guys Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy. Uh
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: provided audio commentary for the full version of the special.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: So try and go grab that if you can as well.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: Oh you can't. It's on the site because it's great.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's like eight bucks and those guys are awesome,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: and you are at least I think Corbett listens to us. So, hey, Corbett,
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: you got anything else? No, No, I think we did this.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: There's some good stuff. Go read the Vanity Fair article.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Uh Han Solo Comedy Hour. There's a book called How
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Star Wars Conquered the Universe that has a very interesting
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: chapter about this. That's where we found it asserted that
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: George Lucas never said that he would smash this thing
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: with a sledge hammer. Um. And there's also an entire
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: website dedicated to its Star Wars Holiday Special dot com. Yeah,
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: and if you want to know more about the Star
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: Wars Holiday Special, we have a ton of heart Star
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: Wars stuff on how stuff works by the way. Yeah,
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: we have cool, um sort of fun articles about the
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: Death Star and Lightsabers videos with Holly Fry from stuff
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: you missed in History class. Yeah, who she knows her stuff.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: She does. Um, so you can just type star Wars
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: in the search bart how stuff works dot com and
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: it will bring up some cool stuff for you. Since
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I said search bar, its time for listener mail. Hey guys,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: just finished listening to the Voytage Manuscript podcast. Found it's
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: super interesting, especially the theories on its definition or origin.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: No Josh Menchin Chuck siory, but being drug induced somewhat
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: surprising or even unlikely given the language in the manuscript
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: follows linguistic laws only founded in the past one years.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: But if you think about it, it's a tough. It's
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: tough to stray away from familiar structures, especially for something
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: like language. I think back to when I was younger
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: and friends invented their own languages or even in writing
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: a song or poetry. Creativity can sometimes be limited by
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: what we know. Uh So I just thought I contribute
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: that the conversation nice. Thanks big, thanks for all you
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: guys do. I found the podcast after moving to San
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Diego in the last few years for some noise around
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: my apartment. So basically we were blocking out noise. We
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: do that chi love uh And then as a way
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: to get through traffic, on my commute home from work.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: You guys are far more interesting and enjoyable than television
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: and YouTube videos. Sure, I've listened to hundreds and will
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: continue to listen to hundreds more. Keep on Keeping on.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: That is from Amy J. Moffatt. Thanks a lot, Amy
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: in San Diego. Does that mean like place of the
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: whales in German or something like that? Uh? Yeah. If
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: you want to get in touch of this, you can
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: tweet to us at s Y s K podcast. You
• 53:57
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• 53:59
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• 54:01
  Speaker 1: podcast at how stuff Works dot com and has always
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: joined us at our home on the web, Stuff you
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: Should Know dot com. For more on this and thousands
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: of other topics, visit how stuff Works dot com