Latest / Anchored by the Sword / Protecting Childhood: Healthy Dance, Mental Health, and Advocacy for Our Kids with Mary Bawden!

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Protecting Childhood: Healthy Dance, Mental Health, and Advocacy for Our Kids with Mary Bawden! · Anchored by the Sword

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Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Anchor by the
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Sword podcast. I pray that today's episode will
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leave you encouraged and also challenged in your faith.
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And I pray that. You would take.
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The stories that are talked about here today and share them
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with other people. Thank you so much for joining me
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and enjoy today's episode. Hey guys, welcome to this
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episode, the Anchor by the Sword podcast.
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I'm excited today to introduce you guys to Mary Bowden.
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She is the dance educator and advocate, the executive director
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and founder of Dance Awareness No Child Exploited.
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She's also the founder of Soul to Soul Choreography and the
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author of Dance's Prayer in Motion.
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So I'm really excited because I have a history of dancing when I
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was a child that I absolutely loved.
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And I'm just excited to learn more about what she's, what she
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has to say. So thank you so much for joining
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me today. Well, it's an honor and a joy.
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I always like to talk about healthy dance, which is what I
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think I heard you describing. That's educational dance
1:05
movement for kids. It's the best thing.
1:08
Research says the outcomes are wonderful for children.
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There's an integration of mind, body and spirit.
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But I found that dance awareness, no child exploited
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dance awareness.com, by the way, because when children are
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exposed to adult sexuality before it's age appropriate,
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it's so harmful. It it's a dehumanizing trend
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that produces trauma in children.
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It's really a mental health issue.
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Yeah. And I've know I've seen things
1:45
at like basketball games or other things where they bring on
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junior cheerleaders, these little girls.
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And I know I sit there. I don't have children myself.
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I have nieces and nephews. And I'm just sitting there like,
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if one of my nieces was dancing like that, I would pull her in a
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heartbeat away from that group because I'm like, they're these
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adults are looking at these kids as these kids are doing these
2:11
moves. And it like gets this righteous
2:14
anger up in me. Well, children aren't many
2:18
adults and normalized was not normal.
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You know, years ago, I went to a college dance concert that I was
2:28
invited to, and I was shocked to see hypersexualized dance,
2:34
hooting and hollering, catcalls. And during the performance that
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had never happened before. But I thought, gosh, these kids
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are 18 and older. I wouldn't do that because
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they're objectifying themselves. They're putting themselves into
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a psychological state to just be viewed externally instead of
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from the inside out. But there's nothing I can do
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because they're older until I begin to see the same kinds of
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dances on a high school level, junior high level, elementary
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school level, and even the preschool level.
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There's a trend and a pattern out there to make children into
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many adults, and people think it's cute.
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I really believe they're unaware and uninformed about the harmful
3:25
outcomes when you expose children to adult sexuality
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before their brains and their psychology is even ready.
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And I can go into some of those outcomes and some of that
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research if you'd like, you know?
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GAIL Dines, A researcher, calls this trend A fortified culture
3:44
that is saturated into all levels of what we're accepting
3:48
in our culture, especially for our youngest citizens.
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Another researcher, Philip Adams, calls it corporate
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pedophilia, where we're commodifying children.
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And dance is a portal for that because it's it's the hot thing
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to do. You know, kids like to watch
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their media icons and copy them. And so this is what has brought
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this trend, this pattern into our culture, right?
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I might add that years ago, none of us have the Internet.
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And so there's always been some level of inappropriate exposure
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for children. But with the Internet media and
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porn industry saturating our culture, along with movies and
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streaming and just, you know, shows on, on every kind of
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airway, children are just being exposed to things they never
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were exposed to. And it's it's been normalized.
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Yes, absolutely so. What is your history?
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And dance. And when did you come up with
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this organization? Well, my history and dance is
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when I was a little girl, we moved a lot and it always went
5:06
by my mom and said I want to take dance class, I want to take
5:10
dance class. And we never had time because we
5:12
kept moving. I'm the youngest of four, but
5:15
just about the time we moved to another place in California and
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I was 11, and my mother came to me one day and said, Mary, you
5:27
can take dance class now. And so I did.
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And it was one of those things that was just a marriage
5:34
internally for me. I had dreamed about it.
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I had thought what it would be like.
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And actually I went to the dance classroom and it was just like I
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imagined. I just had a wonderful time.
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And again, the research shows when a child's exposed to
5:51
healthy dance, nothing is better.
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And so you know, I, that's when I started my journey.
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I ended up with ABA in modern dance from UC Riverside.
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I was highly trained in the Cicchetti ballet method by the
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founder Cicchetti USA. And so, you know, I've always
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loved movement. I think if you look at a child
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that's born, you're going to see they're wired to move.
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And I would even go so far to say adults are wired to move.
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I mean, imagine a day where you just woke up and just laid in
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bed. You know, of course that's not
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what anybody's going to do. So you have to think beyond just
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the dance classroom into what you do every day.
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And we're wired to move. And of course, with smartphones,
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a lot of people are spending less time moving.
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And of course, the research shows that healthy dance is the
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best thing for you. But research also shows that any
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kind of movement is good for you.
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And when people sit and sit and sit and sit, it has outcomes
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that aren't good for us, right? Right after I went to that
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concert I mentioned a minute ago, and I was so shocked by it.
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And then I didn't begin, as I mentioned, to see this in
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younger and younger children. I started doing some research
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because I thought I'm a dance educator.
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I love dance. This isn't dance.
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It's really softcore porn is what it is.
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I want to join the organization that's speaking out on this.
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And there wasn't 1. So the wheels begin turning
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about 2013. I founded Dance in 2016, and so
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we've been working to develop a broad range of free materials.
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I want to under score that word free to your listening audience
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to support caring adults. And sometimes those caring
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adults are dance educators who don't like this trend.
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Sometimes those caring adults are parents or adults like
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grandparents or any number of friends or relatives.
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So that was that was the call. And so we started creating
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resources for people so they could get aware, they could
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identify the problem with some articulate ways to talk to their
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friends about it. We have a couple of trailers
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that are just 4 minutes that kind of lay out the issue.
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And so we progressed from 2016 to 2025 and I'm happy to say we
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have some action points for for people.
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When we first started, we were creating resources which are
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excellent, but we have something called the Healthy Dance
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Directory. It's the first ever national
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database where anybody in the country can nominate a healthy
9:03
dance studio. Once we get that nomination, we
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send an e-mail to that dance studio or organization, they
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have to accept the nomination. And of course, we have have a
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definition of healthy harmful dance that they agree to and
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then they're on this national directory.
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So what that does, it will bring dance educators and parents
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together to find each other because one of the problems is
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nobody knows where anybody is. And I will tell you again, this
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resource, this healthy dance directories free.
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So I, I hope your listeners will nominate a healthy dance studio.
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And if they can't find one, maybe they can go to our
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directory where we just started this and it's filling up.
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And so we're very excited about it.
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We also have another action point.
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It's called the Dance Coalition on danceawareness.com.
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And that's for any caring adult who wants to stop the hyper
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sexualization of children in dance, in adult costumes,
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choreography and music, they can join it.
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And what that does for me is when I speak, I have other
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people behind me and that's helpful.
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But if you want to work within the Dance Coalition on a number
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of issues, and this is our pilot Eater, we just started this as
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well, you can't. So sign up.
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And if you want to work, you can.
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And if you don't, that's fine too.
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But we need your voice through signing up.
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I love that. And I will put links to all of
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that in today's show notes so that people can sign up because
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I know I'm going to like we were talking before, it's just, I
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mean, the things I've seen, it just makes me sick and it just
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makes me sad at the same time. Sad and sick.
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They can, they can coexist because you feel bad just to see
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what these kids are doing because they have no idea what
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they're doing. Somebody has.
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Taught. Them what to do?
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And, and the the point is a child is in no position to make
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that kind of choice any more than they're in the position of
11:24
choosing their diet. You know, they would choose
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candy for everyone that wouldn't they?
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And they would not choose to go to sleep.
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So they get enough rest now, wouldn't they?
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And that's why they're trusting the adults in their world to
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make those kinds of choices. And I really think most adults
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really care about the kids in their relational world, and they
11:49
want to protect them. So I think they have been
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groomed along with children to accept this and see this as
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normal. But we're really seeing some
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traumatic effects. You know, the New York Times
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wrote an article in 1983 called The Loss of Childhood, And in
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that article they stated that we had changed our perspective
12:15
about childhood. We'd gone from an age of
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protection that is shielding children from adult issues to an
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age of preparation that is exposing children to adult
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issues. And so again, you know, the
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research shows that this actually just doesn't work.
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What if I gave a six year old child the keys to my car and a
12:39
$5.00 bill and I said drive to the market, get me 1/4 milk and
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return? Well, you'd think I'd lost my
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mind. It's not that that traveler
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never be able to drive a car and go to the market and get me some
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milk and come back. It's just that right now it's
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years of age. It's not age appropriate.
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And you know, the research all shows the children copy what
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they see. And so if they see good healthy
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examples of movement, they copy it.
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If they see harmful hypersexualized examples of
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movement, they copy that. And then of course the
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psychology and the brain development are all affected.
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And I, I do want to share with your listeners that a lot of
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people think that the only children affected by
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hypersexualized children's stance in adult customs,
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choreography and music are the children in the dance studio.
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But honestly, Gina, that's not true because they all own a
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smartphone and see they're being exposed through pop culture,
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through all these media avenues to traumatic hypersexualized
13:55
dance. And so it's having its effects
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on how they see relationships and how their brain develops.
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I can remember back in the day when MTV actually did videos and
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I would sit and see these videos with my parents and my mom
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sitting there going. You need to turn that off
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because of the type of dancing that was going on in those
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videos. And I mean, I was like, OK, I
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don't really know what they're doing, but OK.
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And then as I got older, I was like, yeah, that's probably not
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appropriate to see in that age group.
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And it's probably not appropriate for me to watch.
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Like I was able to gain that as I got older.
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But just to see what's going on nowadays with these kids, What,
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what else can we do as whether we're parents, whether we're
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aunts, uncles, grandparents, what can we do to help not just
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our kids but also other people's kids as well?
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Well, you can identify the problem.
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See, most people just think children's dance is children's
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dance. They're not up to speed on this
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issue. It's under the radar.
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And so we're all running around. We go to work and we do this and
15:12
we do that. You know, when I was a little
15:14
girl, my parents drop me out to dance class and they pick me up.
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Well, that's not the case anymore.
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You really have to check out the dance studio that you're going
15:24
to send your child or your relative or your friend or your
15:28
neighbor too and ask their position on hyper sexualized
15:34
dance. And you know, there's another
15:36
trend in our country called competitive dance.
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And unfortunately, a lot of the outcomes of competitive dance
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conferences reward hyper sexualized dance offerings.
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So it's a big problem and we have to start talking about it.
15:56
You know, we are the protective factor for children.
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So we need to identify the problem.
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We need to know the differences between healthy and harmful
16:06
dance. And then we need to educate
16:11
ourselves and other people. And I always say to people, can
16:14
you choose five to seven people in your relational world that
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you can share this issue with? You know, everybody feels
16:20
overwhelmed by everything right now, you know, but you can share
16:26
Dance awareness.com with five to seven people in your relational
16:29
world, and it's free. And I'd like to share our
16:33
educational objectives so you know that we are not a
16:36
polarizing organization. First of all, we're nonpartisan.
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We welcome into our organization any adult who wants to protect
16:47
kids from hypersexualized dance in adult costumes, choreography
16:51
and music. So, you know, I'm faith-based,
16:55
but many people are not. They just understand because I
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think they're wired by God to know that it's their job to
17:02
protect kids. So why do we exist?
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Well, we exist to protect kids from hypersexualization in dance
17:12
and adult costumes, choreography and music, and really to protect
17:15
the art of dance. Hypersexualized dance, whether
17:19
it's children or adults, is not the art of dance.
17:23
It's porn. Soft poor porn.
17:26
Then we want to create free educational materials to give
17:31
adults informed choices so they know the differences between
17:35
healthy and harmful dance. We have a free ebook, by the
17:38
way. You can download it.
17:39
It's very short. The book is only 11 pages, so
17:43
nobody needs to get nervous. And then we engage in respectful
17:50
conversations with adults and dance studios without shaming
17:57
them so that they have a choice to reflect and hopefully change
18:01
their perspectives. And I can really share that I'm
18:04
seeing that quite a bit. And then our last educational
18:08
objective is to communicate the connection between the
18:12
hypersexualization of children in dance and the public health
18:17
issue of pornography, because there is a connection.
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And then I'd like to share, if I could, a real simplified
18:25
definition of healthy and harmful dance, if that's OK.
18:29
A lot of people say me to me, well, you're a dance educator.
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This is so complicated, I don't know what to say.
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How do I identify the problem? I'm just overwhelmed.
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And I say to them, well, you don't have to know how to do a
18:44
Plie or a Plisat or a Balaton. Do with this definition.
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It's simplified and actually it's helping dance educators as
18:53
well. In healthy educational dance,
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children look like children. What a concept dressed in age
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appropriate costumes, choreography and music, usually
19:04
accompanied by a great sense of joy.
19:06
So you see that very clearly in harmful hypersexualized dance.
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Children look like adults. They're many adults dressed in
19:16
adult costumes, choreography and music, usually accompanied by
19:21
adult hair styles and makeup. So in one, children look like
19:26
children and the other children look like adults.
19:29
So that's been very helpful. It's simplified now.
19:32
On our website, we have a deeper definition of harmful dance and
19:37
you just click on a link and you'll see it kind of spelled
19:40
out in all kinds of ways to help people.
19:44
But honestly, that simplified definition really helps people.
19:49
And as well, the APA, the American Psychological
19:53
Association, has a very simple definition of what qualifies as
19:58
a hyper sexualized environment for a child.
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They say that. A child is valued only for their
20:06
sexual appeal or behavior. Their physical attractiveness is
20:11
equated with being sexy, they're treated as a sexual object, or
20:17
sexuality is inappropriately imposed on them.
20:21
And if you really look at those four things that I just
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mentioned, you'll see that hypersexualized children's
20:28
stance fulfills all of them. Every single one, although in
20:33
the definition from the APA, they say if only one is
20:37
fulfilled, it's not a good environment for a child.
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But in dance, hypersexualized dance, all four you can say
20:46
qualify when you look at a child, a little child in
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hypersexualized dance. So we've got a lot of work to
20:53
do, but I'm filled with hope. People are interested in this
20:57
topic. They simply haven't known what
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to do. They just haven't known what to
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do. And again, I haven't talked too
21:05
much about grooming, but we're grooming kids to accept this.
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And then they have traumatic outcomes.
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I don't know how much time we have.
21:13
I have a story about that. But yeah, adults are groomed as
21:17
as well, actually. So you, we have time for me to
21:21
tell that story. I was in Cleveland, OH last
21:26
spring and a young lady, about 22 came into our exhibit booth
21:31
and I was talking to somebody else.
21:33
I finished with them and went to her and she was looking.
21:37
We have a little screen that's a split screen that shows healthy
21:41
dance on one side, Marvel dance on the other.
21:44
And she was intently looking at that and she stood up and she
21:51
looked at me and she said, I did that my whole childhood.
21:56
And then to my surprise, she burst into tears and cried and
22:02
she and fell into my arms. And she said, you know, all my
22:08
growing up years, I thought this was cool.
22:11
I thought it was fantastic. Of course, when you're a child,
22:14
you don't know what you're being exposed to.
22:17
But she says I'm in counseling and therapy and I don't even
22:20
know how to articulate what's inside of me and what happened
22:26
to me in that atmosphere. And she said, I don't dance
22:31
anymore. And you know, it's really grief
22:35
stricken young person. And see what's happening is the
22:41
pornography industry is getting younger and younger children
22:45
exposed and using them, modifying them often, uploading
22:50
those videos to porn sites because there's no filter on the
22:54
Internet. But they discard a 22 year old.
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Can you believe that you're too old?
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What are you? They want young ones.
23:07
So the beauty and the value of dance has not been internalized.
23:14
And see, that's what the arts do and they're done properly.
23:18
They internalize all kinds of wonderful messages like a
23:22
child's voice and what are their ideas and let them create and
23:28
have a wonderful, wonderful experience finding out what
23:32
their body does. But no child who's in hyper
23:36
sexualized dance would ever create that.
23:39
They don't have the capacity in their minds to create a dance
23:44
with twerking and running their hands up and down their rear and
23:49
their arms and wiggling and twerking and having a thumb hit
23:54
her look. In fact, I'll tell you an adult
24:00
story about a mother who came to a dance studio owner just a few
24:04
weeks ago and said she was so excited to enroll her little
24:08
girl because she would learn how to twerk.
24:12
So you can see this problem is not Just Dance and it's not the
24:17
parents, it's the both groups need to be educated.
24:22
Both groups need to have some clarity on this issue so they
24:27
can make good choices for the children that they left.
24:30
So again, we don't polarize. We educate.
24:33
All our materials are very clear on what the research says, but
24:39
they don't polarize. There's there's, you know, we
24:42
just don't film things and say things in that tone.
24:46
So it's something you can give your neighbors and start a
24:50
discussion and, and our our four minute trailers kind of raise
24:55
the issues and really show the problem with it.
25:00
So they're they're good communication tools.
25:03
So I hope all your listeners will go to
25:06
www.danceawareness.com. Everything is free.
25:11
We have so many initiatives. We'd love to have you be a
25:15
member of the Dance Coalition. We'd love to have you nominate a
25:20
dance studio for the Healthy Dance Directory.
25:23
But we have many other initiatives on there.
25:26
One is called My Dance. Why we have a dance newsletter
25:30
comes out only three times a year.
25:33
Now I know there's so many newsletters and I don't know
25:35
about your listeners, but I get newsletters and e-mail blasts
25:41
daily and I just have got a point I have to delete them.
25:45
But Dance Awareness only has a newsletter come out three times
25:49
a year. So this is free.
25:51
And it's adults writing about this issue from all walks of
25:56
life. Sometimes it's parents,
25:57
sometimes it's dance studio owners, sometimes it's
26:00
researchers because we all need to empower each other to speak
26:06
it out. You know, you've heard the
26:08
expression, you see something, say something.
26:11
Well, no one said anything. So look where we are.
26:15
You know, we're really in troubling waters.
26:17
You know, pornography is the wallpaper of our kids lives.
26:23
If you just start looking around the culture and see what
26:26
children see, if you're really, really looking and see what are
26:30
they getting exposed to, it's, it's pretty shocking.
26:35
So the only way we're going to change this trend is if you and
26:39
I speak out like we're doing right now, and if your listeners
26:43
speak out in a respectful way to educate others, send them to
26:48
dance awareness. I'd love to have people e-mail
26:51
me mary@danceawareness.com. We, we just need everybody's
26:57
help. This is a grassroots effort.
27:00
Like us on Facebook. We're in all kinds of social
27:03
media platforms. And so I'm so grateful that I
27:07
can be on this show and share Dance awareness.com with your
27:11
listeners. And I'm so grateful that you
27:14
that you came on because I just remember the purity of dance
27:17
back when I did it. And I just remember the joy.
27:22
Yeah. Some of it wasn't, some of it
27:24
wasn't joyful with moms pulling our hair back into buns and you
27:29
know, that kind of stuff. Well, there's always there, you
27:32
know, you got to eat your vegetables every day.
27:35
That's not fun. A lot of kids have memories.
27:37
That's funny, you know, green beans, you know, So, you know,
27:42
it's not that you're never going to have challenges in a healthy
27:45
dance studio, but the overall experience is joyful.
27:49
It was. It was amazing and like I told
27:53
you offline, the only reason I quit is because some boy told me
27:55
it was dumb. Yeah, that's not a good reason,
27:58
no. When you're 13, you're 13.
28:01
You're very. Impressionable.
28:03
Yeah. We are influenced by our peers.
28:06
And so I can say to your listeners, you know, if you
28:09
think, oh, my child is 6, they're not doing
28:11
hypersexualized dance in that on that level, so I don't need to
28:16
worry. But little kids watch the older
28:19
kids. Little kids are influenced,
28:22
yeah, not only by what they see on TV and in the movies and on
28:26
their phones, but they will be greatly influenced by their peer
28:30
group, just as you were, right? Absolutely.
28:34
You know, just be aware of that and know that if it's a hyper
28:38
sexualized yesterday with the older girls, the focus your chat
28:42
will see that will be exposed to that and think it's normal,
28:46
right? And I often get the question,
28:49
you know, what do I say to the dance studio owner?
28:52
Well, download our ebook, but in shortened version, go speak to
28:58
the dance studio owner. A lot of them don't have the
29:01
research and we have the steps to do that in our free ebook.
29:06
They really don't. And share our materials, one of
29:09
our four minute trailers and ask them, you know what they think
29:14
of that. And in a conversation, you can
29:17
get a lot of information. Sometimes people change their
29:20
mind and go, I didn't know this. They really do.
29:23
I have stories about that too. If we had time.
29:26
But if a dance studio owner doesn't get it, I wouldn't put
29:32
my child in that dance studio. And you can often investigate a
29:37
dance studio by going to their June dance recital and sometimes
29:43
they have videos up on their website.
29:46
But you know, you have got to investigate the kind of dance
29:53
studio your child is involved in.
29:56
That's it. And it didn't used to be the
29:59
case, but it is now. You're going to have a world of
30:03
trouble if you don't do that investigation.
30:06
And again, all children are exposed to hypersexualized
30:09
children's dance. So it's not a matter of
30:13
thinking, oh, they won't be exposed if they don't take dance
30:16
class. Have them take dance class in a
30:19
healthy dance studio and then educate the adults around you
30:23
about thermal hypersexualized dance because it's affecting all
30:28
kids. All kids are seeing it.
30:31
They're sending nude pictures to each other.
30:33
They're moving in pop culture pornographic ways.
30:38
And there's a huge difference. And so we have to start talking
30:42
about this issue. It's not going to go away.
30:46
It's we can't hope that if, if you know, we send them to an
30:50
island, they'll never see it or something.
30:53
They're going to see it. So educate your kids, take the
30:56
risks. Start talking about it early.
30:59
Amen. Absolutely.
31:01
Mary, thank you so much for coming on today.
31:04
I do have one last question and it's on a more of a personal
31:07
level. It's a question I ask everyone
31:09
when they come on the podcast. What Bible verse or verses have
31:13
kept you anchored during everything that you have been
31:16
doing? Romans 12/21 don't be overcome
31:20
by evil, but overcome evil with good.
31:23
So Ephesians 511, which talks about exposing the deeds of
31:29
darkness. Absolutely.
31:33
And you are doing that with what you are doing.
31:35
And I know I'm grateful and I know I can't wait to get
31:38
involved. And you guys go to the website
31:42
in the show notes today, go follow Mary's group dance on
31:46
social media, all the places, and let's get this topic out
31:50
there and talk about it. Talk with your friends.
31:54
Five to seven friends in your relational world, you can do
31:58
this. You're empowered to do this.
32:00
You must do this. Absolutely, because we need to
32:03
protect our kids. Absolutely.
32:06
There's nobody going to run in and protect kids.
32:09
We are the protective factors for children.
32:13
That's our job. That's right.
32:16
And you guys, I will talk to you guys next episode.
32:20
Thank you so much for joining me for this episode, the Anchor by
32:22
the Sword podcast. I pray that the story that you
32:25
heard today will encourage your faith, challenge your faith, and
32:29
also help you as you walk in your daily life.
32:32
If this episode has done that, please feel free to leave a five
32:35
star rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast so
32:39
that others can find it and grow as well.
32:42
Have a blessed week and I'll talk to you next episode.