Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #603 Holiday Hot Seat - Jessica Rowe

Transcript

#603 Holiday Hot Seat - Jessica Rowe · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: wants answers Now Gooday.
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  Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families
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  Speaker 3: dot com dot A you, dad toes six, daughter's husband
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  Speaker 3: to one wife and the parenting expert and co host
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: on chan Lyne's Parental Guidance. Also the host of this podcast,
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  Speaker 3: that Happy Families Podcast. Thank you so much for listening
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: and allowing me into your life to hopefully be useful
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: in making your family happier. Right now, school holidays in Queensland,
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  Speaker 3: which means that I'm doing my best to spend as
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  Speaker 3: much time in the sunshine with Kylie and the girls
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  Speaker 3: as I can. Today's guest is one of Australia's most
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  Speaker 3: well known media personalities and somebody else who is going
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  Speaker 3: to be joining me in the Happy Family's Hot Mess Summit.
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  Speaker 3: If you haven't heard the news, we've got another summit
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  Speaker 3: coming up. We've done Bringing up Boys, We've done Misconnection,
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  Speaker 3: We've done little People, Big Feelings, and now the Happy
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  Speaker 3: Families Hot Mess Summit. It's just around the corner. All
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  Speaker 3: the details are at Happy Families dot com dot AU
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  Speaker 3: or on the Happy Family Facebook page. We're going to
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  Speaker 3: be talking about how you can help your family to
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  Speaker 3: be less of a hot mess and be more joyful
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  Speaker 3: and function better. And somebody who's life literally is on
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  Speaker 3: the record as being from time to time a really
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  Speaker 3: hot mess, but somebody who is also so inspirational in
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  Speaker 3: the way that she's dealt with it is Jessica Row.
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  Speaker 3: That's who we're going to be having as part of
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  Speaker 3: the hot Mess Summit, and it's a wonderful conversation that
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  Speaker 3: we'll have there. But I wanted to get her on
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  Speaker 3: the Happy Families podcast to let you know what you
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  Speaker 3: could be in for and to have Jessica rowe participate
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  Speaker 3: in a Lightning Round. Thank you so much for being here.
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  Speaker 1: Jess Oh, it's so good to be talking to you
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  Speaker 1: justin You know how much I love.
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  Speaker 2: Chatting with you.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I love chatting with you as well. The Lightning
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  Speaker 3: Round is something that you haven't done before, though, and
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  Speaker 3: it's going to put you on the spot and put
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  Speaker 3: you into a couple of awkward positions because it's fun.
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  Speaker 3: But this is a lightning round, so we're looking for short,
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  Speaker 3: quick answers and we're just going to play around with
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  Speaker 3: some ideas about being a parent. Are you ready to
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  Speaker 3: dive in to the happy family's lightning round?
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  Speaker 1: I'm ready, but sure. You see, this will be much
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  Speaker 1: for me because you know, I like to talk, so it's.
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  Speaker 3: Got to be shot. That's why you're so much fun.
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  Speaker 3: All right, let's start with the basic ones. Tell us
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  Speaker 3: how many kids you've gotten? How old?
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  Speaker 1: Okay, two daughters. Allegra is fifteen and Gizelle is thirteen.
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  Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite child?
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  Speaker 2: No, of course I don't have a favorite child.
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  Speaker 3: Who do you love most? Peter, your partner, your husband,
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  Speaker 3: or your kids?
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  Speaker 2: All?
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  Speaker 1: Oh? No, choose yeah, no, because I don't think you
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  Speaker 1: can say you.
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  Speaker 2: Love someone the most.
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  Speaker 1: I love my husband in a different way to how
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  Speaker 1: I love my kids, But if I think about the
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  Speaker 1: enormity of the love, it's definitely my kids.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, ideal number of kids. Two, that's firm.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I knew when I was pregnant with Gizelle. I'm like, nah,
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  Speaker 2: that's it. I'm not doing this again.
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  Speaker 3: How do you rate yourself as a parent?
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  Speaker 1: You know I would in the past have rated myself low,
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  Speaker 1: but I'm going to give myself a nine.
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  Speaker 2: Out of ten.
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  Speaker 3: Wow, big school, nice work, good on you for backing yourself. Jess.
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  Speaker 3: What's something great, something great that your parents did that
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  Speaker 3: you've tried to continue in your parenting.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, it's hard to think of just one thing.
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  Speaker 1: Both of my parents, even though they're divorced, they both
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  Speaker 1: were very encouraging about using our voices to make a difference.
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  Speaker 1: And I very much try with both of my daughters
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  Speaker 1: to empower them to stand up for what they believe
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  Speaker 1: in and to know that they can make a change.
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  Speaker 2: Don't wait for other people, you can do something.
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  Speaker 3: I like that a lot, Jess. This is one of
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  Speaker 3: the trickiest questions you'll get in this lightning round. Who
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  Speaker 3: is the better parent, you or Peter.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, well, I'll say me, but no, you know what,
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  Speaker 2: We're different.
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  Speaker 1: Pete is much more strict in inverted commas, but he
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  Speaker 1: really is a softy, whereas I'm more free in the
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  Speaker 1: sense I've always been a lot more flexible and sort
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  Speaker 1: of I suppose more fun, dare I say? And Pete's
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  Speaker 1: more that I don't want to say enforce it because
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  Speaker 1: that makes him sound really tough.
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  Speaker 2: But he's Pete's more that, No, come on, we've got
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  Speaker 2: to do this and let's get up. But up, but
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  Speaker 2: up Rose, I'll still be having a cup of coffee.
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  Speaker 3: In bed in your army's dressing gown. I get it.
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  Speaker 3: Tough one for you. What's the hardest thing about being
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  Speaker 3: a parent?
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  Speaker 2: Oh? Does there just have to be one? I think
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  Speaker 2: being a parent it's so hard.
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  Speaker 3: Nobody said that the hardest thing about being a parent
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  Speaker 3: is being a parent.
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  Speaker 1: But if I had to one, Oh, I can't even
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  Speaker 1: say there's just one particular thing that stands out.
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  Speaker 2: I think letting go.
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  Speaker 1: Being a parent, I'm discovering is a series of letting goes,
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  Speaker 1: and each stage you have to let go of a
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  Speaker 1: bit more and give your kids a bit more room
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  Speaker 1: to grow and for them to sort of thrive, but
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  Speaker 1: also without because I have a tendency to be a
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  Speaker 1: bit of a helicopter, so I think a series of
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  Speaker 1: letting guys that that's what I find difficult to do.
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  Speaker 3: If you could spend an hour with your children at
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  Speaker 3: any age, Jessica Rome, what age would you choose? And why,
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  Speaker 3: I've got.
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  Speaker 2: To say, at the moment, who knows what the future
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  Speaker 2: will be like.
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  Speaker 1: I far more enjoy spending time with my daughters now
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  Speaker 1: that they're older.
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  Speaker 2: Of course, the love never ends.
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  Speaker 1: But when they were little, I found that really hard.
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  Speaker 1: I found it boring. I found it exhausting, tedious, and
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  Speaker 1: just relentless.
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  Speaker 2: And now I'm loving the relationships that I have with
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  Speaker 2: my daughters. I love the conversations.
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  Speaker 1: I love the things that we can do together, even though,
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  Speaker 1: of course, being teenagers, a lot of the time they're like,
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  Speaker 1: oh momy's so embarrassing, we're not doing that.
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  Speaker 2: But I think.
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  Speaker 1: Now I'm enjoying the young women that they're becoming and
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  Speaker 1: spending time with them.
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  Speaker 3: So an obvious follow on is what's the ultimate joy
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  Speaker 3: for you being a parent?
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  Speaker 2: Oh? Being together as a family.
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  Speaker 1: On Saturday night, we went to our local Italian restaurant
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  Speaker 1: and it's our sort of family place, and the four
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  Speaker 1: of us were there and we were chatting and laughing,
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  Speaker 1: and to me, that was such a moment of Yes,
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  Speaker 1: this is the stuff of life.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't want to be anywhere else.
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  Speaker 3: This is the most controversial question I'm going to ask you, Jess,
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  Speaker 3: what's the right age for kids to have a mobile phone?
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  Speaker 2: Oh?
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  Speaker 3: Do you know I think I hate this question because
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  Speaker 3: I get it all the time, right.
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  Speaker 1: I know, I think, don't put it, Why make it
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  Speaker 1: an arbitrary age because kids matured differently and depending on
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  Speaker 1: family circumstances, and are on public transport, all those sorts
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  Speaker 1: of things, living in two different homes, all that sort
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  Speaker 1: of stuff. They might be needing a mobile phone, you know,
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  Speaker 1: more than another child of the same age. So I
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  Speaker 1: think you do what's right for your family, and it's
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  Speaker 1: all well and good.
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  Speaker 2: I think to be.
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  Speaker 1: Really draconian about mobile phones. This, this, this, this, this,
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  Speaker 1: Have a look at how you're using your mobile phone
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  Speaker 1: as a parent, because our kids are like sponges and
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  Speaker 1: they model our behavior. So if you're not off your
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  Speaker 1: mobile phone, if you're on it too much, then of course,
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  Speaker 1: how can you possibly ask your kids to put their
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  Speaker 1: phone down?
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  Speaker 3: Okay, so a senseible answer, tinged with a side dose
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  Speaker 3: of guilt.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you, phone, though there's nothing wrong with I used
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  Speaker 4: to hide in the bathroom, especially when my kids were small,
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  Speaker 4: on my phone because they were doing my head in
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  Speaker 4: doing that.
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  Speaker 3: I love it. Last handful of questions here we go.
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  Speaker 3: What's that thing your parents always said that you swore
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  Speaker 3: you would never say, but it keeps on popping out
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  Speaker 3: of your mouth.
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  Speaker 2: Anyway, Stop hitting.
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  Speaker 1: Your sister, Leave your sister alone.
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  Speaker 3: What's your kid's favorite thing to do with you?
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  Speaker 1: Jess, I reckon just to hang out together, to pump
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  Speaker 1: up the music in the car and have a sing
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  Speaker 1: and while I might be singing, but just to be together.
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  Speaker 2: I reckon, what.
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  Speaker 3: Are you most looking forward to as a mum?
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  Speaker 2: You know what? I'm happy now?
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  Speaker 1: I try and not get too far ahead of myself
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  Speaker 1: and think about what am I enjoying now.
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  Speaker 2: I love that my kids sleep in be teenagers. They
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  Speaker 2: don't get out of bed on the weekends.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, so I don't have to get up super early
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  Speaker 1: and I can have a cup of coffee in bed.
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  Speaker 2: That's what I love.
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  Speaker 1: And I think when my kids were much smaller, that
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  Speaker 1: was what I used to long for.
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  Speaker 2: I now have that, and I'm very content.
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  Speaker 3: So funny that you have that approach. I know that
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  Speaker 3: this is a lightning round and we've only got two
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  Speaker 3: questions to go. But I can't help but jump in
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  Speaker 3: when you say that, because because I'm the kind of
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  Speaker 3: person that I am, Like, let's make the most of
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  Speaker 3: every minute of every day. Let's go and enjoy the sunshine,
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  Speaker 3: the beach, Let's go for a bike ride, Let's get
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  Speaker 3: into the mountains, Let's do stuff. I've got this thing.
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  Speaker 3: I can't bear to watch my kids. Even my teenagers
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  Speaker 3: sleep in I still get them up. It's just not
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  Speaker 3: within me. I can't do it. Maybe I'm a bad
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  Speaker 3: paranaph for all jest.
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  Speaker 2: But let them sleep.
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  Speaker 3: Last two questions. Number one, if you could go back
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  Speaker 3: to you as a young mum having one of those
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  Speaker 3: tough moments, being inexperienced. You're suffering from postnatal depression, what
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  Speaker 3: advice would you give yourself looking back? Now?
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  Speaker 2: You will get through this, It's going to get better.
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  Speaker 2: Hang in there.
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  Speaker 3: So many people say something just like that when I
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  Speaker 3: asked that question. Last one, what's been your biggest win
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  Speaker 3: as a mum? Oh?
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  Speaker 1: My, b I tell you this is a goody. I
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  Speaker 1: reckon recently. Giselle, my youngest who's thirteen, she said to
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  Speaker 1: me in the car recently, she said, Mom, I know
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  Speaker 1: that you dress in a bit of a crazy way
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  Speaker 1: and you're a little bit out there, but I actually
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  Speaker 1: really like that. I prefer that you're like that. I
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  Speaker 1: like that you're not a boring mum. So for me,
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  Speaker 1: I was like.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, cu the stadium applause.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, I'll take that today. Thank you.
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  Speaker 3: Jessica Rowe, It's been such a delight talking with you
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  Speaker 3: for a Happy Family's Lightning Round. Thank you so much
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  Speaker 3: for being on The Happy Family's podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, Justin love you as always.
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  Speaker 3: The Happy Family's Podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: Bridge Media. We so appreciate the great work that Justin
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: does and Craig Bruce, the brain's behind the operation, our
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: executive producer. Thank you, Craig. If you want more information
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: about making your family happier or about the upcoming Happy
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Family's Hot Mess Summit, which I know it before and
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I don't want to sound like I'm overselling it, but
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: it literally is going to be the best summit that
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: we have ever done. Visit us at Happy Families dot
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: com dot U or check out our Facebook page Doctor
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Justin Colson's Happy Families