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Feminists Around the World: Bandy Kiki · Stuff Mom Never Told You

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  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha and welcome to stephone
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: never told you a projection of iHeartRadio.
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  Speaker 2: And welcome to the first feminist around the world for
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  Speaker 2: Pride Month of twenty twenty four.
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  Speaker 3: Yay, Happy Pride Month, Annie, Thank you, aunt to you.
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  Speaker 3: Did you celebrate on the first? Did you get a
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  Speaker 3: rainbow cake?
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  Speaker 2: Ah?
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  Speaker 1: Is that a thing I should be doing?
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  Speaker 3: I don't think you should be getting it yourself.
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  Speaker 2: I think I should have delivered one for you, as
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  Speaker 2: the friendly ally friend.
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  Speaker 3: So I fell on that one. My bad though.
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  Speaker 1: I went home to visit my mom for a very
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  Speaker 1: late Mother's Day this weekend, and I would probably come
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  Speaker 1: back and talk about this, but I just hear so
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  Speaker 1: much about her church through her, and there's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of like pride stuff happening right now. Of course I'm
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  Speaker 1: very intrigued.
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  Speaker 2: Well, first and foremost, congratulations on getting your car working.
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  Speaker 3: I guess I did.
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  Speaker 1: I did, And I've been parked in the same spot
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  Speaker 1: for so long, listeners that right now. I just looked
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  Speaker 1: out my window and there's just like debris where I'd
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  Speaker 1: parked my car.
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  Speaker 3: All around it, like an outline, like under it.
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  Speaker 1: Because I've really been there for so long, and so
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  Speaker 1: I'm hoping we're getting a thunder shower right now, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm hoping it will wash. But yes, I got my
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  Speaker 1: car started and I finally got to visit my congratulations.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sure will I will hear the tales of it
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  Speaker 2: in a bit, but that's the only thing we're going
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  Speaker 2: to say for this segment. I'm sure we'll talk about
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  Speaker 2: it again a bit. But yes, this is at the
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  Speaker 2: first Feminist around the world for the twenty twenty four
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  Speaker 2: Pride Month. It is June fourth, twenty twenty four, and
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  Speaker 2: just a peak behind the curtains, I got the wrong month.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sure Christine is amazing and edited that, but you
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  Speaker 2: don't have to edit this because I think it's funny because.
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  Speaker 3: I am way off.
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  Speaker 2: Anyway, We're going to do our first and we are
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  Speaker 2: starting off this month celebrating the works of writer, entrepreneur
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  Speaker 2: and activists a bandy Kiki, who likes to go by
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  Speaker 2: Kiki as I just listened to one of her interviews,
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  Speaker 2: so there you go. Kiki currently lives in the UK,
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  Speaker 2: but is originally from Cameroon, And if you didn't know,
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  Speaker 2: Cameroon currently criminalizes same sex relationships and activities and has
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  Speaker 2: been on the Human Rights Watch as violence against the
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  Speaker 2: LGBTQIA plus community and according to the Human Rights Watch quote,
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  Speaker 2: Cameroon's law criminalizing the same sex conduct has created a
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  Speaker 2: climate that allows both other Cameroonians and security forces to
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  Speaker 2: abuse and assault LGBTI people without consequence, said Ilaria Elligrossi.
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  Speaker 3: Sorry if I mispronounced that. Try my best, who is a.
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  Speaker 2: Senior Central Africa researcher at Human Rights Watch. Cameroon's law
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  Speaker 2: prohibits consensual same sex relations, a crime punishable with up
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  Speaker 2: to five years in prison.
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  Speaker 1: Kiki knew from a young age that she was attracted
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  Speaker 1: to girls, but struggled to her upbringing and religious community. Eventually,
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  Speaker 1: she immigrated to the UK, where she was able to
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  Speaker 1: explore freely who she was and began to grow in
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  Speaker 1: her activism. And though she may not live in Cameroon anymore,
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  Speaker 1: she has only grown louder in advocacy for the queer
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  Speaker 1: community within her home country.
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  Speaker 2: Here's a bit from her feature in teen Vogue.
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  Speaker 3: Quote.
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  Speaker 2: Feeling unsafe in her community, she immigrated to the UK
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  Speaker 2: and from there vocally advocated for queer rights at home
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  Speaker 2: through entrepreneurship, advocating through Rainbow Migration, a platform helping LGBTQI
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  Speaker 2: plus people to seek asylum and immigration, and taking the
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  Speaker 2: role of a Living Free UK director. Kiki remains at
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  Speaker 2: the forefront of reshaping and prioritizing the lives of vulnerable groups.
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  Speaker 1: But before she started leading and using her talents and
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  Speaker 1: experience to advocate for others, Kiki went through a period
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  Speaker 1: of figuring out how to love and advocate for herself.
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  Speaker 1: Here's a bit from her story on where Love Isillegal
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  Speaker 1: dot com quote Are you mad? Why did you kiss
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  Speaker 1: me in front of her? What if she saw us?
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  Speaker 1: I said, angrily, afraid and alarmed because I wanted to
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  Speaker 1: and I don't think she even saw us. If she did,
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  Speaker 1: she wouldn't say anything. She is my friend and I
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  Speaker 1: will make sure she doesn't say anything, replied my then girlfriend,
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  Speaker 1: assertively and utterly, unperturbed by my distress. This was the
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  Speaker 1: conversation that took place in my university room in twenty
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  Speaker 1: ten Yaound, Cameroon. Our relationship was a guarded secret and
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  Speaker 1: we could only express our love behind closed doors because
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  Speaker 1: of the anti LGBTQ laws and violence against LGBTQ people.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't my first relations with a girl, but definitely
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  Speaker 1: was the first with someone so bold, notwithstanding the risk. Actually,
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  Speaker 1: I recall ending the relationship on the grounds of not
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  Speaker 1: wanting anyone to find out. So in sheer desperation to
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  Speaker 1: be normal, I had convinced myself I wasn't a lesbian
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  Speaker 1: and was just interested in girls because they had never
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  Speaker 1: been with any guys.
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  Speaker 2: Right and in an interview with Manchester Eveningnews dot co
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  Speaker 2: dot uk, they write, in two thousand and six, when
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  Speaker 2: Kiki was fifteen years old, Cameroon was swept up in
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  Speaker 2: an anti gay crusade where more than fifty prominent figures
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  Speaker 2: were publicly called out for being homosexuals by the weekly
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  Speaker 2: tabloid Anecdote. I didn't have the typical attractions to boys,
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  Speaker 2: and while my friends went on and on about them,
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  Speaker 2: I was busy trying to unpack my feelings, Kiki explained.
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  Speaker 2: But this incident made me aware of the legal implications
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  Speaker 2: of homosexuality in Cameroon. This, in addition to the Catholic
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  Speaker 2: doctor and against homosexuality, sent me on a war against myself.
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  Speaker 2: I tried to pray the feelings away, but eventually gave
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  Speaker 2: in when prayers failed me.
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  Speaker 1: And when she moved to the UK to continue her story,
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  Speaker 1: she began to be confronted with who she was, and
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  Speaker 1: she learned to become unapologetic for it. From the same
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  Speaker 1: Manchester Evening News article quote. In twenty eleven, Kiki to
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  Speaker 1: Bolton to pursue a degree at the University of Bolton
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  Speaker 1: after hearing about how good the British education system was.
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  Speaker 1: It was during her studies that Kiki stepped foot on
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  Speaker 1: the world famous cobbles of Manchester's Gay Village for the
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  Speaker 1: first time. There was a real sense of excitement mixed
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  Speaker 1: with guilt and fear when I first visited the Gay Village,
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  Speaker 1: she says. I remember being particularly astonished after seeing a
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  Speaker 1: lesbian couple next to me kissing. I came from a
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  Speaker 1: country where even heterosexuals don't show that type of affection publicly.
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  Speaker 1: A part of me kept waiting for the police to
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  Speaker 1: show up and arrest everyone, even though I knew we
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  Speaker 1: weren't committing a crime. Again, this was because I came
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  Speaker 1: from a country where the laws say one thing and
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  Speaker 1: people in the position of power do another. I found
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  Speaker 1: it difficult to immediately celebrate my newfound freedom and sense
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  Speaker 1: of belonging due to years of suppression and fear.
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  Speaker 2: And though she was confused and suppressing her own feelings,
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  Speaker 2: she knew she was given an opportunity to fight against
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  Speaker 2: the inequalities she saw happening in came Roon. In twenty fifteen,
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  Speaker 2: Kiki started her own blog network where she was able
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  Speaker 2: to post about her opinions and views, including queer issues.
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  Speaker 2: Soon she was listed as one of the most influential
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  Speaker 2: Cameronians under forty, but that also brought on haters who
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  Speaker 2: tried to attack for her work.
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  Speaker 1: From the same biography on where Love Is Illegal, her
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  Speaker 1: story continues now. Life in the UK was more. I
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  Speaker 1: found new sexual freedom and release. I didn't have to
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  Speaker 1: sneak around anymore, and homosexuality was in a crime after all.
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  Speaker 1: With all these regardless, what was still lacking was my
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  Speaker 1: sense of sexual acceptance. So I wasn't exactly vocal about
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  Speaker 1: my sexuality within the black community, by and largely owing
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  Speaker 1: to homophobia and the worry of such tales reaching my
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  Speaker 1: Catholic family and community in Cameroon, which regarded homosexuality as
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  Speaker 1: demonic or evil. I did my might. I struggled to
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  Speaker 1: mask this part of me and cover all my tracks,
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  Speaker 1: but that fateful day came when for the first time
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  Speaker 1: my plans would fall apart. It was at a party.
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  Speaker 1: I was drunk and tried to kiss a Nigerian girl
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  Speaker 1: and yes, you guessed right. The story spread within the
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  Speaker 1: African community that I was a lesbian. Despite the rumors
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  Speaker 1: and proofs, I denied it. Come early twenty seventeen, when
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  Speaker 1: the political unrest in the Anglophone regions of Cameroon was escalating,
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  Speaker 1: my views as a blogger on the crises ultimately made
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  Speaker 1: me a subject of public criticism and internet bullying. Eventually,
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  Speaker 1: I was branded HIV positive. Right in the middle of
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  Speaker 1: all of these, someone I had confided in would go
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  Speaker 1: online to tell people that I am a lesbian. It
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  Speaker 1: felt like a low blow, and this time I would
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  Speaker 1: not only be in denial. I went further to employ
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  Speaker 1: a standby boyfriend to discharge the facts. Mind you. Prior
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  Speaker 1: to the online outing, a top Cameroonian producer, with the
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  Speaker 1: host of other people who had found out about my sexuality,
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  Speaker 1: started blackmailing me, wanting to control the content of my blog.
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  Speaker 1: At the time, denying could have been easy like before,
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  Speaker 1: but then I was living a lie. This is not me,
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  Speaker 1: I thought, so I made up my mind to come clean. First,
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  Speaker 1: it came out to my family. Their reaction wasn't good,
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  Speaker 1: neither was it as bad as I had imagined. Next,
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  Speaker 1: I put on a brave front, sucked in all nerves,
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  Speaker 1: and would go on to do what had never been
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  Speaker 1: done by any Cameroonian. On October fourteenth, twenty seventeen, I
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  Speaker 1: announced on all my social media pages that I was
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  Speaker 1: gay and unapologetic lesbian.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and today she is still working to advocate for
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  Speaker 2: her community and country. In an article written by Reuters,
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  Speaker 2: they talk about Kiki still working to highlight the injustice
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  Speaker 2: happening to the Quick community. They write as LGBT rights
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  Speaker 2: have advanced in countries around the world. Kiki said she
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  Speaker 2: had watched with disappointment as her own government doubled down
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  Speaker 2: on homophobic policies. In recent weeks, she has been promoting
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  Speaker 2: a high profile case from Cameroon in which two transgender
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  Speaker 2: women were arrested in February wearing women's clothing at a
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  Speaker 2: restaurant and we're charged this month with attempted homosexuality. And
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  Speaker 2: just to note, this was a case that happened in
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  Speaker 2: twenty twenty one, and they were speaking pretty loudly about
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  Speaker 2: what was happening there as well.
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  Speaker 1: And the article continues about this case specifically, quote fifty
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  Speaker 1: three people have been arrested in raids on HIV and
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  Speaker 1: AIDS organizations since May twenty twenty, with some reporting having
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  Speaker 1: been beaten and subjected to forced anal examinations to confirm
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  Speaker 1: accusations of homosexuality. Humans Rights Watch said the arrest seemed
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  Speaker 1: to be part of an overall uptick in police action
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  Speaker 1: against sexual minorities. It added, Kiki says the crackdown on
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  Speaker 1: Cameroon's LGBT community is just a symptom of a larger
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  Speaker 1: problem throughout Cameroonian society. Homophobia is like a binding glue
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  Speaker 1: when it comes to Cameronians, Kiki said, when it comes
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  Speaker 1: to hating LGBTQ people, they all come together.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 3: Sounds familiar, Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Sure.
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  Speaker 2: He has been very vocal in talking about the continued
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  Speaker 2: persecution of the LGBDQIA plus community in Cameroon and refuses
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  Speaker 2: to slow down. And in the twenty nineteen interview with
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  Speaker 2: Living Free UK dorc Orgakiki speaks openly about the power
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  Speaker 2: of using your voice and being visible, saying that visibility
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  Speaker 2: is important and is empowering and is a powerful tool
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  Speaker 2: to use for awareness and advocacy. Can She talks about
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  Speaker 2: her own ability to do so because she has been
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  Speaker 2: so attacked by the Cameroonian government that kind of opened
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  Speaker 2: her up to being able to be visible more so
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  Speaker 2: than ever before. Obviously she has celebrated with her writings
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  Speaker 2: and her works and her continued amazing advocacy for her
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  Speaker 2: community even still today.
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  Speaker 3: So there you go.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, once again another amazing, amazing work done by someone
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  Speaker 1: that I'm sure we'll check back in on. And as always, listeners,
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  Speaker 1: if you have any thoughts about this or any suggestions
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: for this segments, please let us know. Happy Pride Mom,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Happy Pride. Yes. If you would like to contact us,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: you can our email us Stephanie and mom Stuff at
• 12:09
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• 12:11
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• 12:18
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• 12:20
  Speaker 1: our super producer Christina or executive produce for Maya and
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: your contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for
• 12:25
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