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You Have To Hear Something Seven Times · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:31
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:03
  John Mitchell: Hey, I'm John Michell. So Kelly, here's the topic today. Are you ready for it? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
• 1:12
  Kelly Hatfield: Drumroll.
• 1:13
  John Mitchell: Are you ready?
• 1:14
  Kelly Hatfield: Insert drum rolls here. Yes.
• 1:18
  John Mitchell: Okay, here's the topic. You have to hear something seven times. Before it fully registers. What do you think about that? Do you buy that?
• 1:27
  Kelly Hatfield: Better? Say it again? I need to hear it. Six more clients.
• 1:30
  John Mitchell: Yeah. I think this is living proof of theory. Theory proved. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the episode for today. Thank you both. Okay, here it is. You have to hear something seven times. Before it fully registers? You buy it?
• 1:51
  Kelly Hatfield: I don't know. I'm interested to hear what your kind of what support you have for that statement? Because my first instinct is it depends on what it like what it is. So like, if it's something I'm really interested in, or like, I'm ready to share, or I or been maybe I receive it more, you know, quicker than seven times. I'm interested, like, what would so where does that come from? John, where does that come from?
• 2:22
  John Mitchell: Well, let me let me ask you. Have you ever heard that, that you have to hear something seven times? I've heard
• 2:27
  Kelly Hatfield: it related to marketing? You know that? Yeah, we terms of getting in front? You know, it's rare that you're gonna get somebody on the first time, like, typically, it's anywhere between seven and 12 times that you get in front of somebody before? You know, there's no buying happening or trust built? So that's in relation to marketing. I've heard it but not anything else. Well, you know,
• 2:51
  John Mitchell: and that may be that may be true. And it could be that I mistaken about the concept, but I'll tell you why it comes up. So I had a girl come to me three or four weeks ago, and she wanted to think it'd be it. And so I'm talking to her. I asked her, you know, what percentage of your potential Are you playing the game of life? And she goes, Well, I met feel like I'm at 25%. And, and she says, I got this feeling that there's more in the tank, just like, you know, you and I both expressed. Yeah. And, and I go Well, I'll tell you why that is. If your your your success in life comes down to your daily actions and, and 95% of your daily actions are unconscious. So if you're not influencing those unconscious, daily actions, that's you're actually are playing the game of life at 25%. That feeling is justified. That's why it is, you know, it's it's pure math. It's simple. And so we continue our discussion. He comes up maybe 10 minutes later, that she's playing at 25% of her potential, and I go, why is that? Well, she, she could she wouldn't repeat back what? What I had tried a tea tree. And so then I'm like, huh, whose fault is since? And I'm thinking, I think it's my fault? Because I just told her the answer. I didn't, I didn't make her dig for it. You know? And, you know, I didn't try and influence her with with questions. So she discovered herself. And so I was sort of thinking, Well, I don't I don't know that she's an ideal client. If she can't get the basics, you know, maybe I was being too hard on her. And so I had another client, another woman, they wanted to do it. Thank you. Be it. And I go to through the same thing except this time. I make her discover it with questions yet, you know, later in the conversation when I, you know, try that again. She, she didn't get it, and then I'm flying thing? Uh, well, you know, this is interesting. Why don't people get it? And then I came to the conclusion that evidently, they have to hear something seven times before they really get it. But I don't know if I believe that or not so in that with that background, what do you think?
• 5:36
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think when somebody's learning something new, and that's foreign to them? Yeah, you know, and I think too, when I, when I think about probably the type of format that you guys have now, given the context of those conversations, where they're meeting you for the first time, you know, they're probably being asked them uncomfortable questions that they haven't thought a lot about. Right, you know, so there's some other pieces at play here, you know, I think related to maybe why they weren't able to articulate back to you what you had said earlier, you know, what I mean, or so. And so, but I do believe, you know, through the work that, you know, we do how important repetition is, right, you know, and so hearing it one way, and then maybe another way, and then seeing it this way, and then visually seeing it, you know, like that those are ways to be able to grasp a concept that's foreign to you. But yeah, but as far as like the number seven, you know, I'm not sure, I think to again, it depends on John, I reflect back on our first conversation, which was through the podcast, right, you know, as he as you being a guest on my show, and I didn't need to hear anything more than once, because I was ready to receive what it was that you had to say. And so, you know, what I mean, but But yes, so I think that that's one of the components of this, too, is is I'm, here's another aspect, are you? Do you have a growth mindset? Meaning, are you open to new concepts? Or Or do you have a fixed mindset? Because your your mindset is fixed? And you aren't, you're going to be resistant to the concepts that you're talking about with that. And so that could be part of it, you know? So I don't know, I'm not quite sure. As I as I'm thinking out loud right now, those are just some of the things that are coming to mind. What are your thoughts about? Well, you
• 7:46
  John Mitchell: know, I think you make a great point, that when you heard it the first time, you did not need to hear it seven times, because it's pure logic, you know, and I'm the same way, but But you were receptive to hear it? i By that, I mean, yeah, you know, it, if it makes sense to you logically, why do you have to hear it seven times? Right. So the other thing that you said, I think that's interesting, his sets out what that What did you say, caught my attention? Oh, the growth mindset? You know, I wonder, do you think most people have a growth mindset? Or not?
• 8:33
  Kelly Hatfield: Well, if we go kind of to the stats that you and I have experienced with think it be it right, I would say the majority of people don't if you see what's happening right now, kind of in the world with the divisive pneus that we have, and I would say so much of that is coming from folks who have a fixed mindset, and not a growth mindset, who are open to it doesn't mean you have to agree with what somebody says or what, yeah, it just so a growth mindset, you know, means I think that you're open, open minded and that you're seeking and that you're constantly, you have to be really self aware. Right? So I'm really be able to, you know, as far as that growth mindset, self awareness is really one of those foundational things run on, and I'm really, I don't know, from, from my experience in dealing with clients and candidates and prospects, and is that that self awareness is not there. You know, what I mean? There's a, you know, when you're blaming when you're complaining when you're any of those things, that those typically are indicators of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. And I see that so much. So he Hi, my guess is is probably way more on the other side of people who have a fixed mindset versus a growth. You know, my,
• 9:54
  John Mitchell: you know, I just read in The Wall Street Journal this weekend, they said that they were told Talking about what percentage of the American public believes in the American Dream that, that if you work hard, you could get ahead. And the number is down to like 36% believe it. And I think the number was 50% of people. What was it? So 36%? Did, only 30% 36% of people believed that if you worked hard, you could get ahead. But there was something about and I think it may have been around this idea of, of a growth mindset that less than 50% had a growth mindset. Which would mean sort of makes sense. Yeah, it
• 10:43
  Kelly Hatfield: makes sense. And it goes back to everything that we've talked about, and what the premise I think it is built on, which is understanding how the brain works. Because, again, most people are sleepwalking through life, right? They're operating on autopilot, and their autopilot is not setting them up for success. You know, they got to overcome that because it's all of their old stories, their their habits that aren't serving them, there are narratives that all of those things, and that equates to a fixed, you know, mindset there, you know, when you are on that proverbial treadmill, or if you are feeling like, Oh, God, it's Groundhog's Day, you know, where I thought, I thought I wouldn't be this by now I thought I would be further along, I thought I would be happier, I thought I wouldn't be right. If you're saying any of those things, then it's very likely that you have a fixed mindset. Well,
• 11:43
  John Mitchell: and you know, think about this, I've come to believe that life just beats people down, beats the ambition out of people. And I've just started thinking about this lately. And I, the reason I say it is, is that, you know, as my class is, is required for all the athletes at the University of Texas, and it's really for the ones that are seniors in college and a rat to enter the real world. And it's so fascinating to me that when I go to them, and say, Hey, I got a way for you to create the exceptional life rather than the average life. It takes 12 minutes a day. And we're applying the central concepts of the topic of the world on success to your life. They're like, Are you kidding me? I'm all in 100% of them, are n not? Yo 2%? Like the general population, but 100% of Orien? And I find that fascinating, because I'm like, what is it about life? That beats people down to where they're not that interested in creating the exceptional life? I mean, it's sort of what Darren Hardy said that, you know, only 2% of people feel like more success is a necessity, rather than just a preference for the 98% more success is just a preference. What do you think about that? Is this life, do you think beat people down?
• 13:18
  Kelly Hatfield: I think that, of course life is. That's what this is about. That's what this journey is about is trials and tribulations, it all is about the lens that you look through, though. So if you're in you're going to feel beat down, if every time something happens, that doesn't go your way, there is the negative narrative around it, then you're gonna feel beat down pretty quick. And you're gonna it will be that learned helplessness where you decide decide not to try anymore, because life is just keeps handing you you know, lemons, kind of thing, rather than if you're looking through that lens of like, Alright, so, you know, this did not go as I had planned it would, you know, so where, what am I supposed to learn from this that I can take with me to the next thing, like, I just got better, because I failed, or because I went through this, or because I, you know, again, if it's about the brunette, the lens you're looking through, and the narrative, the story that you create around whatever the situation is, I could look back on my childhood and be and feel like a victim or feel like, but no, I'm like that, that made me who I am, you know, as hard as what some of those things were going through that helped me become self sufficient early helped me, you know, those kinds of things. So again, I think it's about you know, the type of people and I'm not talking glass half full, I'm not talking Pollyanna or toxic kind of positivity at all. I'm talking about the ability to look at a situation and you can say, Yeah, this sucks. You know what I mean? You can those two things can be true at the same time. This situation could suck. But like then, as we sit in the suck for five minutes, 10 minutes a day. Yeah, but then start looking at it to say, alright, so this happened, you know, what am I supposed to learn from it? And how can I grow and take this with me to the next? Or how can I. And also too, if you've got that, like this door shut for a reason. And I've, we've talked about this before, like, now looking back, I can connect the dots and find out why I didn't win that big contract, or whatever the case is, in the moment, it's hard to do that. But I know now, sir, the wisdom of where I'm at in my life, that that door closed, because that door closed, it allowed me to be open to another door opening, or it allowed the opportunity that would not have been afforded to me had that other opportunity come through like I had hoped. Right. And so I think it's, you know, when you're back to feeling beat down, it all is a matter of perspective, you know, and we talked about perspective before, there are over 700 million people in the world who don't have access to running water. You know, so it's, like, really sick contract, I don't have to carry a basket on my head and go to walk 24 or 24 hours to get water, you know,
• 16:30
  John Mitchell: I just give up.
• 16:33
  Kelly Hatfield: I think you know, my point being down, yes. Life, that's what we're here. It's a big giant lesson, right? All of these situations, not smooth sailing. So I guess, you know, when I, when you asked me that question, like, yeah, life, that that's what life is, it'll keep, it'll beat you down. If you let it, you know, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on?
• 16:58
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I see with think it'd be it more than ever, in his take me a long time to understand this. So much of it is a timing issue in your life, for people to do think it be it, they gotta be sick of their existing life. And the the emotion of being sick of their life has got to exceed the effort to try, things could be at. And that's why when you're dealing with athletes that are in their senior year of college, boy, the timing couldn't be any more perfect they are, they're chomping at the bit to get in the real world. And you're handing them away, that takes 12 minutes a day to do it. And you're applying the top, the central concept of the topic, the world on success domain, it yield is just an easy decision for them. Whereas you go to somebody that's 40 or 50 years old. They've had life beat them down. And, and I think, largely life, that that beat down process, make some complacent, you know, make some lazy, and, and sort of suck some of the ambition to have the exceptional life out of them. And they just go, oh, you know, yeah, I'd like to be more successful. But I don't want to go to the effort of, you know, creating this clarity and feeding it to myself today. That's just just too much work for me. And I think that's part of what happens, don't you?
• 18:37
  Kelly Hatfield: I do. And I think when some when somebody's searching, and they want to improve their life, and they've been trying things, whether it's related to your health, your business, your career, whatever, that you're your marriage, whatever the case may be, and it's not working. So you've tried stuff you've tried, let's use the diet as an example. And you've tried all kinds of things and nothing seems to work, then that's the attitude you have when you're presented with new opportunities. And I've tried that before. For me, I tried something like that before. Okay, really did you for how long? How consistently? You did? Yeah. And you know, but that's, I think it's easy to get into that mindset, like, I've tried something similar to that, or that sounds too, you know, because again, that's what your brain is designed to do. It's just it's designed to keep you in that place of familiarity. Right. And so if you're asked to do something that's unfamiliar, or that maybe it's tried and it hurt their ego a little because it didn't work out, then they're going to become more and more resistant. Each time that happens, that subconscious, that little rut in the road is going to get deeper and deeper. And they're going to have a hard time accepting new ideas.
• 19:47
  John Mitchell: Right, right. You know, I'd tell you some mailsite I've thought about that, I think is interesting. I think largely the stuff in the self help or Small education field is useless. And I say that, because in this, this will refresh your memory will oftentimes we talk about how everything else in the success and human achievement field is strategy said, but you got strategies coming at your ears, you know, that is, that is so true unless you can bury the strategies in your subconscious mind, then they're useless. And and I gave you an example of this in working with my basketball client here at teen versity, Texas, as Tony, you know, with the concept of personal responsibility that, you know, you have to embrace personal responsibility and which means never being a victim. And if you don't like your results, change your behaviors. And ELS a fundamental concept in the self help is is. That's that's a concept that is espoused. But what happens is, people hear that, and they go, Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, so I'm on on board. And then the next day, there, they have trouble doing it, you know, there, something happens and they embrace being a victim. And even though they now intellectually, know, that's not the way to be. That's how they've remained. And I see that, you know, you contrast that to the person who then takes the step of doing, think it, be it, and we're feeding that concept of personal responsibility every day, every day, why after, you know, 21 days the science kicks in. And now you've rewired their autopilot to where they are personally responsible. And when when the tendency to be a victim comes up. They're making a different choice now. And that's why it's amazing to me, that wow, look at the self help industry. I think, largely, it's a waste of time, as good as the content is. And I think there's a lot of great things in there. But I don't see anybody teaching what we teach in terms of you know, that 95% of your daily actions that are in thoughts are unconscious, therefore, unless you're seeding it into your subconscious mind, it's useless American
• 22:33
  Kelly Hatfield: teaching, you know, teaching the, it's like the instruction, you know, the instructions without having the vehicle to deliver that you know what I mean? So, for those who are listening, I know, I say this from personal experience, I've read some fantastic books, with some really great concepts was some really great, you know, that, Oh, that's great, I should integrate that, or I should do this, I should do that, or whatever. And then, yeah, walk away, these are great ideas, put the book down. And never to be, you know, maybe I'll try doing it for, you know, this is before I had the methodology, I'd try do it out for a couple of days, I'd be like, Okay, I'm going to do this. And then, you know, again, the day, you know, all of a sudden, you go back to that autopilot the way you were doing things before. And so having the installation instructions for the run, you know, let's say the book is the manual, I think it'd be at methodology is how you install, you know, the instructions. And I think that's the missing component to what you're, you know, when you're talking about the human development, self help space is like, Well, okay, these are great ideas, I know, my life would really improve with these concepts or strategies. But how do I actually do it, because you've got a lot of people out there who are kicking themselves beating themselves up a lot of shame, because they keep trying this stuff, you know, for a very short window of time, and then fall off the wagon, so to speak. So no, I got it. But
• 24:11
  John Mitchell: you know, I don't see anybody in the self help business talking about 95% of your daily actions and thoughts. were unconscious, nobody. And what's interesting, though, is as you know, you can go and google it, and literally in big, dark letters 95% shows up and I just find it interesting that that ended diable truth is not really espoused in the self help industry yet. The implications of it are so profound. And and you know, that's why the most significant thing I ever learned was that 95% of my daily actions and thoughts are unconscious, because once I got that, and once you got that, everything changed, and you know, it took It just like in your case, it was cool to watch, because in a snap of a finger, you got it. Yeah, you know, and it was it I now that what you think about that? A was I remember it because I saw, she got it immediately. It was like it took all of about one second of contemplation and you're like, oh,
• 25:23
  Kelly Hatfield: yeah, it's so funny. I was like, you know, and I envision a puzzle with one piece missing. Right? Right, what I mean, and it was like, click in that last little piece of the puzzle was like, Ah, what a relief like.
• 25:42
  John Mitchell: So as you write analysis,
• 25:44
  Kelly Hatfield: more people, you know, talking about it a little bit, but the problem is, unfortunately, that science isn't sexy. You know what I mean? And like, people, understanding how the brain works, and, you know, unfortunately, you know, that doesn't light people up, like some of the other stuff does, you know what I mean? And so, but,
• 26:03
  John Mitchell: you know, it's, it's interesting, you never know what what's going to happen. You know, I had a guy that I think I told you about came to me a month ago, and he was like, he had heard a podcast episode where I was a guest. And he says, Oh, I got to learn this. This syncope it, I it made so much sense. He goes on and on and on. And so then I put him through the drill. Well, you know, I'm only going to take clients that trot they're happy ask Austin. And again, meet me in person course we put them up here at Chateau Vinci. Not that. Cool, but nevertheless, that is the program. Yeah. And, and, you know, so he was like, totally on board and, and we're doing think it'd be it and, and but, you know, it's gotten to the point with, with adults is, is I'm going to put him through a little grief because, hey, I got all the clients I need, ya know, now, I love teaching it to adults, but I'm damn sure not begging him. You know, I'm like, You better you better have your act together and get get this stuff. Because if you don't, you know, I got other people that do.
• 27:21
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, you don't want to waste your you don't want to waste your time. You know, it's too precious. We talk about that all the time.
• 27:27
  John Mitchell: And, you know, I and I, you know, I That sounds maybe semi arrogant but and I get it because sometimes people just they can't get the message at this time. Maybe not ready? Yes, they can't. They're now ready. Maybe they'll get it. Five years from now are or maybe never, but I don't know. It's just interesting how it all works. But I find it all fascinating. And, you know, I'm going to be on Peter Diamandis, is that tell you about that? No. So you know, I've been I won't bore you with the long story about that. You know, I met Peter Diamandis for our audience that doesn't know Peter Diamandis. Time Magazine considers him one of the top 50 intelligent minds in the world. And he started the XPrize that line slick Marshall space industry, brilliant guide. And he just wrote a book with Tony Robbins on called lifeforce about thinking about health and and where it is relative to AI and all the amazing things are happening in medicine. And he has a company that he has with Tony Robbins called found wife and I have done their program, their health program, and it's all about early detection. And anyway, I'm like, you know, I'm going to contact Peter Diamandis because I think it'd be it might be the ideal mindset program for fountain life. And so I it takes, you know, some finagling, but I get to Aima we finally do a zoom after you know, trying to schedule it for two months, and we have a great visit and I said, Well yeah, let me show you this nine minute video that explains I think it'd be good and he says I'm in love this this is groundbreaking. Why don't you be on my podcast? He's you know, as I think a million downloads an episode some employee number, so we're gonna do it here in the summertime late in the first quarter. Nice. So wait, who knows where the heck this is all going but it sure is an adventure. It is fun. So well. Do you have any parting words of advice for audience
• 29:56
  Kelly Hatfield: I you know, I think just it back to where you started with that. I idea around somebody needs to hear something seven times. Right? I think there's, there definitely is some truth to that. And again, I think it really just depends on all of those different factors that we talked about, like, where are they ready? You know, what kind of stories? Are they telling themselves? Like, what's their mindset? Do they have an open mindset? And do they have a, you know, growth mindset? Or is it fit? So I think there are so many variables that determine whether that statement is true for that particular person. You know what I mean? Right?
• 30:31
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I tell you what's really cool. So, one of the reason women they came to me they wanted to do I think it Be it, the one that that I, the second one where I, I worked her through with, with questions. Yeah, you know, I, and she just took the light. And I want to have her as a client. But as we're sort of working through this, I tell her what I'm doing. I'm like, you know, I see that I probably have to explain this to you seven times for you get it. And in her last email to me, in fact, I think he came today. In the email, she literally says, My daily actions determine my success in life and 95% of my daily actions are unconscious. And that's why I've been playing the game of life at 25% of my potential, exactly what I wanted her to get. She now gets, but we had to go through it, you know, four or five times and so that's that or experience has been very enlightening to me. I love it. So exciting. Okay, until next time, we'll see you.
• 31:44
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at kelly@thinkitbeit.com or john@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life