Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon Stewart on Media_s Hantavirus Panic _ Klepper on MAGA_s Missing Trump Phones _ The Daily Show

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Jon Stewart on Media_s Hantavirus Panic _ Klepper on MAGA_s Missing Trump Phones _ The Daily Show · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: But first, I want to check in on the president.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: You know, his approval rating is currently lower than really ever,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I think. It's really, it's not, it's not good. Really,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: thanks to a combination of inflation and he's a dick
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: and the war in Iran, the ongoing energy crisis in
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: his own body. Weekend at Donnie's. But as is always
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the case with Donald Trump, his MAGA base remains unfazed.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Now, this week saw the formal dedication of a 22-foot
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: gold statue of Trump at his Miami golf course by
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: none other than evangelical Pastor Mark Burns. Pastor Burns must
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: have known that he might take some criticism for praying
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: over a literal golden idol because he wrote on social media, quote,'
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Let me be clear, this is not a golden calf.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: No. It is not. But if I may say, it
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: is a full-grown cow. That is a golden cow. With
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: a gold load in its... But I don't want to
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: suggest this is actually a case of false idolatry. If
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: it was... God would probably be punishing us the same
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: way he did in the Bible with a plague. And
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's not happening.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Breaking tonight, the deadly outbreak of a rare rodent virus.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: On board a cruise ship.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: The race to contain a suspected deadly virus outbreak.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: The public health threat so dangerous.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Nightmare at sea. Cruise chaos. A cruise from hell.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: What?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: What? Another pandemic? Are we going to have to start
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: washing our hands again? Or freaking the f * *
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: * out in a Target? Target?
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not playing another game.
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: This shit's f * * * ed over.
• 2:26
  Speaker 7: This shit's all f * * * ed over.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: This shit's f * * * ed over.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Good times. Although I have to say, on the plus side,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I can't believe I still fit into my old hazmat suit. Hey,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: quick question here though. Are we all going to die?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: It's not like COVID.
• 3:04
  Speaker 8: It's not like measles.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: It's not a very efficient transmission. The overall risk to
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the public is low. You don't need to be hysterical
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: about it. I know we don't have to be hysterical
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: It's choice.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: But you know what? It's a relief. I'm glad we
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: don't have to be hysterical about it. COVID was a
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: respiratory virus, passes easily, often when the person isn't symptomatic.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: It was a brand new virus we hadn't ever seen before,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and we weren't allowed to know where it came from.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, we didn't know. We were obviously allowed to know.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: We just didn't know. Wink. While the hantavirus is a
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: known virus, it's difficult to transmit. It's mostly spread by
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: rat infestation. which does raise the question, how did a
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: cruise ship end up with hantavirus on it?
• 4:07
  Speaker 9: A husband and wife who were the first to be
• 4:09
  Speaker 9: stricken with the so-called rat virus reportedly went birdwatching at
• 4:13
  Speaker 9: a rat-infested landfill when their cruise ship was docked at
• 4:17
  Speaker 9: a remote city in Argentina.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I have some questions. Just gonna walk down the list. A,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: what cruise line offers day trip landfill excursions? B, what
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: bird watcher wants to go to a landfill and spend
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: the whole day going, seagull, seagull, seagull, used condom, cerulean warbler. No,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: that's used condom, sorry. Seagull. Vulture, seagull, condom. Vulture eating,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: seagull eating condom. But in bird watching lingo, that's known
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: as a vulgoldom. A lot of people serve that on
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: the holidays. The point is, some people may get pretty sick.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: But forget COVID, this ain't no pandemic. Hell, this hantavirus,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: and not even in monkeypox territory. But I guess reality
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: don't sell papers. So boys, we learned that everything was
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: okay on Tuesday. What are we doing Wednesday through Friday?
• 6:05
  Speaker 8: The WHO has been vocal in saying this is not
• 6:07
  Speaker 8: another pandemic or epidemic situation.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Can they be so sure? Should people be worried? Is
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: this another pandemic?
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Could the hantavirus mutate?
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: People have a right to be nervous.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You gotta fight for your right to be nervous. Yes.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: We might have a right to be nervous, but I
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: guess the question the news might want to ask is,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: do we have a reason? And your assignment, news, should
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: you choose to accept it, is to help the public
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: discern the difference. So may we hear from the experts again?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: The potential to spread beyond an outbreak is very small.
• 6:55
  Speaker 10: Should be.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: I have no concern about that.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I guess it's going to stick this time. I want
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: to make the timeline clear to everybody. Sunday, we found
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: out Hantavirus had been on a cruise ship. Monday through Thursday,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: expert upon expert, scientist upon scientist, very transparently explained why
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: this illness, while a serious illness, is a low-level public
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: health threat. Their words went a long way to easing
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: the concerns of a curious public. And Lord knows the
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: news can't let that happen. So on Friday, after three
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: days of reinsurance, I give you Nightline.
• 7:49
  Speaker 11: A dream vacation turning into a floating nightmare. Authorities are
• 7:53
  Speaker 11: now working to stop the spread and track down passengers
• 7:56
  Speaker 11: who've already left the ship, including to the U.S. The
• 8:00
  Speaker 11: looming question, could this become the next pandemic?
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: God damn it! They got me again!
• 8:09
  Speaker 9: Whoo!
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I was panicking. They got me again. And by the way,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: did you check out the percussion on that? Could this
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: be the next pandemic? The question of whether it was
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: going to be the next pandemic had been asked and answered.
• 8:34
  Speaker 12: For three days.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: But apparently that was before the authorities decided not to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: fire a torpedo and sink the cruise ship, burying its
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: diseased passengers and cruise entertainers in a watery grave befitting
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: their disease. That's right, folks. These people from this ship
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: We're going to be allowed to disembark.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: The deadly hantavirus is no longer contained to that cruise ship.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It is now literally flying around the world. Why'd they
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: let them off the boat? Releasing them off the boat
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: just creates new problems.
• 9:19
  Speaker 8: Why did they get off the boat and then come
• 9:21
  Speaker 8: back to America? How long do you think people on
• 9:23
  Speaker 8: the ship should be isolated before being allowed to leave
• 9:26
  Speaker 8: and then walk among us?
• 9:36
  Speaker 7: Look, I don't think any of us are crazy about
• 9:40
  Speaker 7: the idea of people who take cruises walking amongst us.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I just don't think it's... And I respect that. But
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: there's still people. There are just people who wanted to
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: travel the world on a floating shop mall they can
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: throw their fiancé off. Look it up! Trust me, it's
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: got a higher body count than the hantavirus. Trust me. Look,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I could be convinced to be on Team Sync them all.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: But again, let's listen to the experts that the news
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: people themselves have vetted to answer these questions responsibly.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Dr.
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: Rasmussen, do you have any concerns about the process of
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: the passengers returning to their home countries?
• 10:38
  Speaker 8: So I don't actually have any concerns about this process
• 10:41
  Speaker 8: from a scientific perspective because I actually think that the
• 10:44
  Speaker 8: process itself is completely suitable for this virus.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, suitable for the virus, but not suitable, apparently, for
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: this news cycle. The news experts say stay calm, but
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: the news media says, no, I believe we prefer panic.
• 11:00
  Speaker 13: Right now, we're in the port where the ship won't
• 11:02
  Speaker 13: even be allowed to dock.
• 11:02
  Speaker 12: You can have a look at what this looks like.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: That is the MV Hondias.
• 11:07
  Speaker 13: Those are the Americans finally on board that evacuation boat.
• 11:10
  Speaker 13: You can see there's a small group of them being
• 11:12
  Speaker 13: ferried back and forth.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Helping ferry passengers off the ship and onto some smaller
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: boats to land.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Off of the ship on these.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Little boats that bring them here through a tent.
• 11:20
  Speaker 8: Within minutes, they are on a bus headed straight for
• 11:23
  Speaker 8: the airport.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: Looking at a portion of a bus that looks similar
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: to the ones that people have gotten onto.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: You're literally showing us a bus they're not on? You're
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: just cutting to showing us what a bus looks like? Yes, Jim,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: the passengers are getting on, and I'm being told that
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: the wheels on this bus go round and round. And
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: we're about to get on a bus where the wheels
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: go round and round, Jim. I see, and can you ask,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: will that be all through the town? I believe it will, Jim.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I believe they will be going all through the town
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: on the bus. They were treating it like the OJJs,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: that's the logistics of how you get from a boat
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: to the shore. But don't worry, the news media's high
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: level technology gets us access we never could have gotten before.
• 12:23
  Speaker 13: These images just coming in, those Americans getting on buses
• 12:26
  Speaker 13: and waving before boarding their flights. Drone video from Spanish
• 12:29
  Speaker 13: authorities capturing the first passengers leaving Drone video.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Spectacular. Such good use of drones. Ukraine uses theirs to
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: defeat Russia. But good on you. I still have not
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: learned enough. I mean, I know they've gone from a
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: boat to a smaller boat to a tent to a bus.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: But at this point, I've somewhat lost the trail.
• 12:56
  Speaker 7: Where will it end? Where will these who are supposedly
• 13:00
  Speaker 7: to walk amongst us end up? Perhaps in a room?
• 13:06
  Speaker 7: If so, what does the room look like?
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Is it furnished?
• 13:13
  Speaker 7: If it has a bike, will that bike be stationary?
• 13:16
  Speaker 14: Each person will have their own room, equipped with special
• 13:19
  Speaker 14: ventilation systems, private bathrooms, exercise equipment, and Wi-Fi.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Private bathrooms, exercise equipment, Wi-Fi. Oh, maybe we should all
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: get the Hantavirus. It's actually not that luxurious. Only one
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: of them will be given the password.
• 13:52
  Speaker 7: Which I believe is lowercase Hantavirus, but the I is
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: a one and the S is a dollar bill, y'all.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Look.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: We are now eight days into this non-pandemic. And it's
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: beginning to affect our Mother's Day coverage segues. It's a
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: very happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.
• 14:13
  Speaker 11: This morning, that cruise ship hit by a deadly hantavirus.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: The State of our Union is calling our mom.
• 14:19
  Speaker 15: This morning, 17 Americans are beginning a trip back to
• 14:22
  Speaker 15: the U.S.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Happy Mother's Day to all the moms watching. Let's kick
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: this off.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Pandemic panic.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. Tell your mom you
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: love her. But also keep your eyes on her. Because
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: you don't know if she's got it or not. And
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I got to tell you this. If she turns, you
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: know what you have to do. No tears, boy. No tears.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: She's not your mother anymore. She's more haunter than woman.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: No matter how many times the question can be asked
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: and answered, it doesn't matter for some people. And sometimes,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: it's the same person.
• 15:25
  Speaker 8: Does this have the markings of the next pandemic or no?
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: No.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: Should we still not be sounding the alarm?
• 15:32
  Speaker 13: I don't think we have to be very anxious about it.
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: Should we be worried that we have an American here
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: who's tested positive?
• 15:39
  Speaker 16: No, it's a low risk to Americans.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Should we still not be worried by this here in America?
• 15:44
  Speaker 13: Correct.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I don't think that this poses any risk to the
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: general public.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Jesus, lady! How badly do you just want to work
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: from home? Just work from home. We're not all going
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: to die.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: That's a good thing.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Just zoom in, Jesus. Although it is important to note,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: this virus can cause chronic fatigue syndrome, mostly amongst the
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: experts who have to repeatedly answer the same questions.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: What is your message to Americans who are still scared?
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: We have been repeating the same answer many times.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: This is not another COVID.
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: And the risk to the public is low.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: So they shouldn't be scared and they shouldn't panic. You
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: f * * * ing idiot. Well, that certainly should
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: put an end to it.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: Unless.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: So they shouldn't be scared and they shouldn't panic.
• 16:57
  Speaker 15: And there is concern out there that more positive cases
• 17:00
  Speaker 15: could pop up.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: So when they say, you shouldn't be scared, you hear,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: be scared! It's like they're all trying to recapture that
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: pandemic ratings magic. Remember the old big screen body counts?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: All the ways they scared us? Well, the counts are back. Obviously,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: not as compelling. There's one person who tested positive. A
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: separate person showed symptoms, but we don't have a positive
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: test result for that person.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: One!
• 17:36
  Speaker 9: One!
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: One positive and one negative. Runny nose?
• 17:44
  Speaker 13: What?
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Damn, this thing is spreading like, I don't know, what's
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: something that doesn't spread? Cold butter? The legs of a prude?
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I could do this all day. So it's fine. It's
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: not a thing. Go about your lives. Go on a
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: cruise if you want. Meanwhile, a norovirus outbreak on board
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: a different cruise ship.
• 18:12
  Speaker 10: 102 passengers, 13 crew members are sick on the Caribbean Princess.
• 18:20
  Speaker 7: No!
• 18:22
  Speaker 15: Yesterday, Trump hosted an event on maternal health care, which
• 18:25
  Speaker 15: is a high priority for the White House. Because what
• 18:28
  Speaker 15: is a woman's birth canal if not a straight of
• 18:31
  Speaker 15: hormuz that our government must take control of? Now, the
• 18:35
  Speaker 15: focus of the event was America's lower birth rates. So
• 18:39
  Speaker 15: of course, Trump invited RFK Jr., health secretary and guy
• 18:43
  Speaker 15: whose iPhone screen is always greasy.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: So let me ask, RFK Jr., why are birth rates down?
• 18:51
  Speaker 15: And please remember, when you answer, don't make this weird.
• 18:56
  Speaker 8: For men in 1970, men had twice the sperm count
• 19:00
  Speaker 8: as our teenagers do today.
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry. Did he just do a back in my
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: day for sperm?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Back when I was a.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: Teen, we had twice the jism.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Our spunk knew how to drive a stick, you know?
• 19:21
  Speaker 15: They don't make man butter like that anymore. Now, he
• 19:26
  Speaker 15: didn't explain how he knows that, but.
• 19:30
  Speaker 15: Knowing RFK, I'm sure he personally went down to the
• 19:33
  Speaker 15: sperm bank and sampled them like gelato flavors.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Can I get it with sprinkles?
• 19:40
  Speaker 13: Please?
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: Okay, but it's.
• 19:42
  Speaker 15: Interesting that he mentioned teenage sperm in particular, because when
• 19:46
  Speaker 15: you look at the lower birth rates, that's mostly driven
• 19:48
  Speaker 15: by fewer teens. births, by which I mean teenagers giving birth,
• 19:53
  Speaker 15: and not moms giving birth to teenagers.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, congratulations, it's a Mr. Beast fan.
• 20:01
  Speaker 15: I'm just confused why the government is apparently trying to
• 20:04
  Speaker 15: reboot 16 and Pregnant.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: But Dr. Oz, maybe you have a good reason. And again,
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: you know what? I'll remind you. Just please, please don't
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: make it weird.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So let me speak a little bit about the reality
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: that one in three Americans are underbabied. I said don't
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: make it weird!
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: Under-babied? What does that even mean?
• 20:29
  Speaker 15: Are we shocked no one wants to have babies anymore?
• 20:32
  Speaker 15: I mean, nothing makes the ladies want a raw dog
• 20:34
  Speaker 15: like hearing RFK Jr. talking about what the jizz was
• 20:37
  Speaker 15: like at Woodstock.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Let's focus up.
• 20:41
  Speaker 15: This is an event about women. Let's actually hear some
• 20:44
  Speaker 15: of the women speak while we all pay really, really,
• 20:49
  Speaker 15: really close attention.
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: In the Perinatal Improvement Collaborative hospitals, we have reduced maternal
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: mortality by 41.5%, which is truly incredible. And this is
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: compared with the 5.9% decline in benchmark hospitals.
• 21:07
  Speaker 10: Oh.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Don't judge.
• 21:12
  Speaker 15: This man is exhausted from working the graveyard shift at
• 21:15
  Speaker 15: his second job, posting insane AI slop all night. It's important,
• 21:21
  Speaker 15: thankless work. So yet another Oval Office meeting, where Trump was,
• 21:25
  Speaker 15: as Dr. Oz would call it, under-conscious. I'd like to
• 21:30
  Speaker 15: see the White House somehow.
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: Spin their way out of this one.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Now, a Reuters reporter posted a picture of President Trump
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: with his eyes closed significantly, and the.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: White House responded, he was blinking, you absolute moron. Look,
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: you know what? I can relate. I got a solid
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: eight hours of blink last night. I mean, come on.
• 21:52
  Speaker 15: Don't you hate when you're blinking and you have to
• 21:54
  Speaker 15: get up and go pee? You have to try and
• 21:57
  Speaker 15: get back to blink, you know?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: It's a nightmare.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: You know what? I think I see what's going on here.
• 22:03
  Speaker 15: Trump and Kash Patel have split up blinking duties.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 22:11
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: This is.
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 22:17
  Speaker 15: One keeps them shut, and one keeps them fully open.
• 22:21
  Speaker 15: Government efficiency at work. But look, let's not get carried
• 22:25
  Speaker 15: away here. Yes, Trump is falling asleep in the middle
• 22:27
  Speaker 15: of meetings, but he's not as.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: Bad as Joe Biden, OK? Remember Sleepy Joe?
• 22:32
  Speaker 15: He was snoozing while inflation just skyrocketed.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: This is completely different.
• 22:38
  Speaker 15: Today, new inflation numbers at the highest level in nearly
• 22:41
  Speaker 15: three years, up 3.8% from a year ago.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Well, well, well.
• 22:49
  Speaker 15: Looks like the Sleepy Joe-er has become the Sleepy Joe-ee.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: But okay, all right.
• 22:56
  Speaker 15: Inflation is soaring, which means gas prices are going up,
• 22:59
  Speaker 15: transportation costs are exploding, and our most cherished airlines are
• 23:03
  Speaker 15: up in heaven now, charging the angels for water.
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: Now, you know what? Normally, I'd be worried.
• 23:09
  Speaker 15: But thank God we have Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, who
• 23:13
  Speaker 15: I'm sure is laser-focused on fixing it.
• 23:16
  Speaker 13: Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is starring in a new reality
• 23:20
  Speaker 13: show encouraging people to hit the road.
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: Duffy and his wife, Rachel Campos Duffy of Fox News,
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: met on MTV's Road Rules All-Stars. And they and their
• 23:31
  Speaker 6: nine children are channeling that past in this five-part YouTube series.
• 23:37
  Speaker 15: First off, nine kids? I guess we know someone who's
• 23:42
  Speaker 15: not underbabied. Now, you might be upset that your tax
• 23:47
  Speaker 15: dollars were spent on sending Sean Duffy and his entire
• 23:50
  Speaker 15: Wu-Tang Clan on an all-expenses-paid trip around the country.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: But don't worry. You didn't put the bill. It was
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: the other kind of corruption.
• 24:00
  Speaker 16: Duffy says no taxpayer dollars were involved, neither he nor
• 24:03
  Speaker 16: his family were paid, and sponsors picked up the production tab.
• 24:07
  Speaker 16: But looking at some of those corporate backers, government watchdogs
• 24:11
  Speaker 16: warn that the secretary is enjoying a road trip that
• 24:15
  Speaker 16: appears to have been funded by the very industries his
• 24:19
  Speaker 16: agency oversees.
• 24:21
  Speaker 13: Wow.
• 24:22
  Speaker 15: I mean, Boeing just can't help being part of a disaster, huh? Look,
• 24:28
  Speaker 15: if you're furious about a cabinet member being paid by
• 24:31
  Speaker 15: companies he regulates to take a road trip in the
• 24:35
  Speaker 15: middle of a gas crisis caused by his administration, if
• 24:38
  Speaker 15: that really makes you want to.
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: Scream, please don't, because the president is blinking right now.
• 24:47
  Speaker 15: President Trump left for a major summit in China yesterday,
• 24:50
  Speaker 15: where he's sure to discuss important topics such as trade deals,
• 24:53
  Speaker 15: the war in Iran, and whether the Chinese can help
• 24:56
  Speaker 15: get his fingers out of that pesky trap. Honestly, this
• 25:01
  Speaker 15: trip could not have come at a better time. Things
• 25:04
  Speaker 15: have not been going great at home. And at a
• 25:07
  Speaker 15: press conference just before he left, you can see just
• 25:10
  Speaker 15: how testy he's getting.
• 25:12
  Speaker 12: So what happened is we have a ballroom that's under budget.
• 25:16
  Speaker 12: It's going up right here. I doubled the size of it,
• 25:21
  Speaker 12: you dumb person. You are not a smart person.
• 25:28
  Speaker 10: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: Calm down, Mr. President. Go to your happy place. Well,
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: not literally. That party's over and your wingman is MIA, but.
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: Metaphorically. The point is, I think both.
• 25:43
  Speaker 15: Trump and us could benefit from this time apart. I mean,
• 25:47
  Speaker 15: nothing wrong with a little break, get some distance, reset.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: You know what? You can take your boys with you.
• 25:53
  Speaker 8: Making the trip with him, several of the nation's top CEOs,
• 25:57
  Speaker 8: including Elon Musk, Tim Cook, and Jensen Wang, the head
• 26:00
  Speaker 8: of Nvidia.
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: That's your crew? Those are your boys?
• 26:04
  Speaker 15: Not exactly the Rat Pack here, is this? That's the
• 26:08
  Speaker 15: kind of bachelor party that makes a stripper want to
• 26:11
  Speaker 15: get her life back in order. In fact, you can
• 26:16
  Speaker 15: tell that that was not a fun flight by watching
• 26:19
  Speaker 15: Donald Trump walking down the staircase.
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: After he landed in Beijing. I mean, look at that.
• 26:25
  Speaker 15: That is a man who spent 19 hours sitting next
• 26:28
  Speaker 15: to Elon Musk.
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, yeah.
• 26:31
  Speaker 15: All right, let's hear Grok do the Borat voice again.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, all right.
• 26:37
  Speaker 15: Apartheid South Africa was very nice, yeah.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: When do we land?
• 26:42
  Speaker 15: Luckily, Chyna was there to perk him up, though, with
• 26:45
  Speaker 15: a Jennifer Hudson spirit-tuttle of business casual children. That chant
• 26:57
  Speaker 15: translates to, ballroom now, ballroom now. And then, of course,
• 27:02
  Speaker 15: Tim Cook got off the plane and was like.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: Hey, you kids, get back to work, huh?
• 27:07
  Speaker 15: I'm not paying you a nickel an hour to sing.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Get back there.
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: Anyway, you know what? I'm sure Trump will have a
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: good time.
• 27:14
  Speaker 15: And while he's gone, maybe we can have a little
• 27:16
  Speaker 15: check-in back here at home.
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm talking to you, MAGA base. Um, hey. Hey,
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: MAGA pals. What's up, guys? You know, this is a
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: safe space.
• 27:31
  Speaker 15: Donald's gone. It's just you and me, your old pal,
• 27:34
  Speaker 15: Jordy Klepp, you know?
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: Let's rap. Not in an urban way. Don't worry. So
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: how are we feeling, you know, about everything?
• 27:43
  Speaker 9: Hey, Trump supporter here.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: This goes out to Don Jr.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: And Eric.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Where the f * * * is my phone?
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: Well, it's in your hands, sir.
• 27:54
  Speaker 15: That's how you're recording this, but maybe you're talking about
• 27:59
  Speaker 15: the new Trump mobile phone that Don Jr.
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: And Eric are backing. You must have ordered one of them.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I ordered three, no, four gold Trump.
• 28:08
  Speaker 12: Phones in the summer.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Now we can't get... Any f * * * ing
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: updates on them?
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: Well, I stand corrected.
• 28:16
  Speaker 15: It was four phones from the world's top phone makers,
• 28:21
  Speaker 15: Eric and Don Jr. Look, look, for those of us
• 28:26
  Speaker 15: who don't remember, last June, the Trump sons introduced the
• 28:30
  Speaker 15: Trump mobile phone, which had one major selling point.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: You're gonna have phones that are made right here in
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: the United States of America.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: We're gonna be building phones in America.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: It's about time we bring products back to our great country.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: Build for Americans, by Americans.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: For Americans, by Americans. Sort of like FUBU.
• 28:51
  Speaker 15: For people who call the cops on people who wear FUBU.
• 28:55
  Speaker 15: But still, a $ 500 phone made in America? Say what
• 28:59
  Speaker 15: you want about the Trump brothers. This is an incredible deal.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: And of course, the haters will.
• 29:04
  Speaker 15: Say that you can't build a phone in America, that
• 29:06
  Speaker 15: the only thing we make here anymore are.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: Nepo babies and looks maxers.
• 29:11
  Speaker 15: And that this whole thing was just a scam aimed
• 29:13
  Speaker 15: at anyone gullible enough to fall for it. But 600,000
• 29:18
  Speaker 15: people ignored the haters and put down a $ 100 deposit
• 29:22
  Speaker 15: because they knew they would be proven right when those
• 29:25
  Speaker 15: phones arrived in August.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: August came and went. September came and went. At one point,
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: we were promised a November 13 date.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, fine, not August. Okay.
• 29:36
  Speaker 15: But November's not bad either.
• 29:38
  Speaker 9: And then.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: November came and went, December came and went, and here
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: we are in May of 2026, and there appears to
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: be no sign of it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, fine, not November or December or January.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: We all know the names of months here, okay? So
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: it's taking a long time. But so what?
• 29:55
  Speaker 15: It's worth the wait to finally have a phone that's
• 29:57
  Speaker 15: made in America.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: USA!
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: USA!
• 30:02
  Speaker 8: The company's website states that the phone, which was originally
• 30:05
  Speaker 8: advertised as being made in America, will now be designed
• 30:08
  Speaker 8: with American values in mind.
• 30:12
  Speaker 15: USA values in mind!
• 30:18
  Speaker 12: USA values in mind!
• 30:21
  Speaker 15: It's not as chanty as you'd like it to be. Okay,
• 30:26
  Speaker 15: all right, okay, so the phone went from made in
• 30:30
  Speaker 15: America to designed with American values in mind. This reminds
• 30:35
  Speaker 15: me of shopping for my kids' fruit snacks. Some are
• 30:38
  Speaker 15: made with real fruit, and some are inspired by the
• 30:41
  Speaker 15: idea of a strawberry. All right, fine, it's disappointing that
• 30:47
  Speaker 15: they couldn't make it in America, but hey, the important
• 30:49
  Speaker 15: thing is that you're absolutely still getting a phone.
• 30:52
  Speaker 8: The company behind Trump Mobile quietly updating its pre-order terms
• 30:56
  Speaker 8: and conditions last month to clarify that it, quote, does
• 30:59
  Speaker 8: not guarantee that a device will be produced or made
• 31:02
  Speaker 8: available for purchase.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: Holy shit!
• 31:06
  Speaker 15: After people bought the phone, they changed the terms and conditions.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: To say there might never be a phone.
• 31:12
  Speaker 15: That feels less like a terms and conditions and more
• 31:15
  Speaker 15: like a gotcha, bitch. And no wonder the MAGA base
• 31:19
  Speaker 15: is so upset. I mean, I'd be furious, too. And
• 31:22
  Speaker 15: the Trump sons must have heard the cries from inside
• 31:24
  Speaker 15: the F-150 because suddenly the Trump phone is about to
• 31:28
  Speaker 15: come out again.
• 31:30
  Speaker 8: Some of President Trump's mobile phones should be shipped out
• 31:33
  Speaker 8: this week. That's according to Trump mobile CEO Pat O'Brien.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: This week!
• 31:38
  Speaker 15: Where on earth are they going to find 600,000 phones
• 31:42
  Speaker 15: to ship?
• 31:44
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: Okay. Okay. That's why they brought all those people to.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: China with them.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: Now I get it.
• 31:53
  Speaker 15: It comes down.
• 31:55
  Speaker 9: Quick.
• 31:56
  Speaker 12: Everyone grab all the phones as you can.
• 31:59
  Speaker 15: I would do it myself, but this thing is more
• 32:01
  Speaker 15: complicated than I thought.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: Grab it.
• 32:03
  Speaker 12: How do I do it?
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: How do I do it?
• 32:06
  Speaker 9: Look.
• 32:08
  Speaker 15: I don't know if these phones are actually being shipped
• 32:10
  Speaker 15: soon or ever, but there is a way to describe
• 32:13
  Speaker 15: the kind of person who put down $ 100 for a
• 32:16
  Speaker 15: phone made by Eric Trump, but I.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: I don't really want to say it.
• 32:20
  Speaker 12: You dumb person.
• 32:22
  Speaker 13: Okay.
• 32:24
  Speaker 15: He said it, not me. President Trump is in China
• 32:27
  Speaker 15: right now, and the whole U.S. news media has gone
• 32:31
  Speaker 15: along with him, which means we at home are getting
• 32:34
  Speaker 15: a rare look at some of China's cultural wonders.
• 32:37
  Speaker 10: This is the Family Mart convenience store in Beijing. Inside
• 32:40
  Speaker 10: is a Galbot robot, the dominance of AI. Beijing is
• 32:45
  Speaker 10: trying to lead the way in AI and also in
• 32:48
  Speaker 10: humanoid robots. Let's go inside. This is the first of
• 32:52
  Speaker 10: its kind for this kind of interaction. If you want
• 32:55
  Speaker 10: to order something, hello, can I get a sausage, please?
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: A sausage?
• 33:11
  Speaker 15: You went to China, home of one of the most
• 33:13
  Speaker 15: famed cuisines in the world, and ordered a convenience store sausage? Brad,
• 33:18
  Speaker 15: you're making us look weird in front of our future overlords. Although,
• 33:23
  Speaker 15: it could be worse. Usually, when someone at Fox News
• 33:26
  Speaker 15: asks someone to grab their sausage, it comes with a
• 33:29
  Speaker 15: $ 10 million lawsuit, so... By the way, look at that
• 33:34
  Speaker 15: robot just standing there in the back. I love that
• 33:38
  Speaker 15: even in our tech future, there's still one guy at
• 33:41
  Speaker 15: work that does absolutely nothing.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: But as for the summit itself.
• 33:45
  Speaker 15: Trump's welcome got off to a nice start when he
• 33:48
  Speaker 15: was greeted by.
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: Children upon children upon children.
• 33:53
  Speaker 15: But then things took a turn for the worse when
• 33:55
  Speaker 15: Trump was confronted by stairs upon stairs upon even more stairs.
• 34:03
  Speaker 15: But after all the greeting and the stair climbing, it
• 34:06
  Speaker 15: was time for the actual summit, a chance for President
• 34:09
  Speaker 15: Xi to explain his position in simple, clear terms Donald
• 34:13
  Speaker 15: Trump could understand.
• 34:15
  Speaker 8: President Xi said that he hoped the two countries could
• 34:17
  Speaker 8: avoid the so-called Thucydides trap. It's a historic reference about
• 34:21
  Speaker 8: a great power being threatened by the rise of another.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: Damn it, Xi!
• 34:26
  Speaker 15: You're gonna hit President Trump with a Thucydides trip?
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: Now you're making his brain go up a flight of stairs.
• 34:34
  Speaker 15: Come on, all right, President Trump, don't let this guy
• 34:36
  Speaker 15: history-mog you. Show him you can communicate in equally sophisticated terms.
• 34:43
  Speaker 12: Chinese restaurants in America today outnumber the five largest fast-food
• 34:48
  Speaker 12: chains in the United States all combined. That's a pretty
• 34:51
  Speaker 12: big statement.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: That's my president.
• 34:57
  Speaker 15: Putting his understanding of geopolitics into fast food terms. He
• 35:02
  Speaker 15: gives a summit speech like a third grader who got
• 35:04
  Speaker 15: assigned China for his geography project. In conclusion, China is
• 35:09
  Speaker 15: a land of contrast, and I brought Panda Express for everyone!
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: I got to say, it appears to.
• 35:16
  Speaker 15: Be a good sign to see all this bridge building,
• 35:19
  Speaker 15: because I was under the impression that our relationship with
• 35:21
  Speaker 15: China was growing increasingly tense and bitter, especially over Taiwan,
• 35:26
  Speaker 15: which China wants to take back, and we want to
• 35:28
  Speaker 15: keep independent. But I'm sure all the goodwill between Xi
• 35:32
  Speaker 15: and Trump carried over into their closed-door meeting about Taiwan.
• 35:36
  Speaker 14: During a two-hour closed-door meeting, Xi reportedly delivering a stark
• 35:41
  Speaker 14: warning to Trump on the issue of Taiwan, which China
• 35:44
  Speaker 14: sees as its territory. Xi telling Trump if the issue
• 35:48
  Speaker 14: is handled poorly, the two countries will collide or even clash.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: Ho, ho, ho. Tough talk, President Xi.
• 35:56
  Speaker 15: Perhaps you've forgotten that you're talking to America, the country
• 35:59
  Speaker 15: that's just about to start kicking Iran's ass any day now.
• 36:06
  Speaker 15: And if you want to step up to us with
• 36:08
  Speaker 15: all this Thucydides crap, then why don't you do sit
• 36:11
  Speaker 15: on these nuts?
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: Now, I know Donald.
• 36:15
  Speaker 15: Trump's not going to take a tongue lashing like that.
• 36:17
  Speaker 15: Our president's definitely not going to walk out of those
• 36:19
  Speaker 15: talks looking like he's in a hostage video.
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: How were your talks, sir?
• 36:26
  Speaker 13: Great.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Holy shit, what happened in there?
• 36:34
  Speaker 15: That was like asking Tiger Woods how the drive home went.
• 36:39
  Speaker 15: All right, DT, do you want to expand on that?
• 36:42
  Speaker 15: Maybe defend Taiwan? What happened in the meeting that made
• 36:53
  Speaker 15: him really not want to talk about Taiwan? He's out
• 36:56
  Speaker 15: there like, don't you guys want to talk about anything else?
• 36:59
  Speaker 15: Jeffrey Epstein, I got a lot of redactions.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: I got time.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Let's chat.
• 37:03
  Speaker 15: So after day one of this trip, I definitely have
• 37:06
  Speaker 15: way more questions than answers. What did Xi say to
• 37:09
  Speaker 15: Trump behind closed doors? Can our two nations avoid the
• 37:12
  Speaker 15: famous two centipedes trap? How many Chinese restaurants are there
• 37:17
  Speaker 15: in the US? Hell, I don't even know if Bret
• 37:20
  Speaker 15: Baier ever got his sausage.
• 37:22
  Speaker 10: This is the first of its kind here, and they
• 37:25
  Speaker 10: say there are going to be many different iterations, so
• 37:27
  Speaker 10: there's a real big back and forth.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: He got his sausage!
• 37:30
  Speaker 9: Yeah!
• 37:38
  Speaker 15: And look, it's just a loose sausage on a plate.
• 37:44
  Speaker 12: Yum!
• 37:45
  Speaker 15: The robots are like, I know you are going to
• 37:47
  Speaker 15: eat this with your hands, you American pig.