Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #65| 3 Easy Steps to Create the Overwhelm-Free Life You Want
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: Do you ever feel like you're running around like a chicken with your head cut off with no idea of where you're going next?
- 0:05Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:17Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:22Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:34Michelle Gauthier: Hey friend, thanks for joining.
- 0:37Michelle Gauthier: Today we're going to explore why having clear goals and knowing where you're going is crucial for overcoming overwhelm and frustration.
- 0:46Michelle Gauthier: I'll guide you through a simple exercise to help you define your ideal day, identify what parts of your ideal day you already have, and then create actual steps to achieve what's missing.
- 0:57Michelle Gauthier: By the end, you'll have a clearer vision of what you want and a plan to get there.
- 1:02Michelle Gauthier: Don't forget to stick around till the end to hear my do less for more success tip.
- 1:08Michelle Gauthier: When I had a stressful corporate job, my whole life basically felt overwhelming and I had no idea how to get out of that.
- 1:15Michelle Gauthier: I knew I didn't love what I had, but I didn't know what my options were.
- 1:19Michelle Gauthier: I can remember one year, on my birthday, stopping work at like six o'clock to go out to dinner with my family and having a lovely dinner, and then going back to work until like midnight to work on some project that I, of course, can't even remember right now.
- 1:33Michelle Gauthier: I remember thinking, I feel so stuck, I don't know how to change this, I don't know how to stop doing things, I just- I I don't know how to get out of this.
- 1:43Michelle Gauthier: So if you're feeling that way now, stuck, maybe it's in your job, maybe it's in your relationship, maybe it's in your parenting or anything else, or some combination of all of those - the steps that I'm going to give you today will help you move in the direction of having better, more ideal days.
- 2:01Michelle Gauthier: Before we jump into this, though, I want to talk about the importance of having clear goals.
- 2:06Michelle Gauthier: So, for example, if you don't have a destination and you jump into your car and you just start driving, you will go somewhere, but there is no guarantee that that somewhere is any better than where you are now.
- 2:19Michelle Gauthier: So think about this, like, what we're talking about today is we're going to dream your ideal destination, and then we are going to make the roadmap for you to get there.
- 2:28Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to know exactly where you're going.
- 2:31Michelle Gauthier: So, for example, if you don't love your job right now, maybe you don't know what you want to do instead, that's totally okay.
- 2:37Michelle Gauthier: This exercise will just help you start thinking about what you might want to do and especially how you want to feel.
- 2:43Michelle Gauthier: And if we go back to the driving metaphor, at least you'll know okay, I want to head toward the ocean, I want to head towards the mountains, I want to go towards the woods, and having an idea of where you're going and having that be a good thing is such a better way to focus your energy than to continually focus on I feel so overwhelmed, I'm so unhappy here, I'm so frustrated with my relationship, whatever those thoughts are.
- 3:08Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
- 3:09Michelle Gauthier: So the first step that we're going to do is we are going to identify and define your ideal day.
- 3:16Michelle Gauthier: So Ideal Day is a tool I use in my coaching.
- 3:19Michelle Gauthier: In group coaching, you will get the full meditation to help you envision what your most ideal day would look like, along with a workbook to capture it, and then learn how to make yourself a vision board that encompasses it.
- 3:31Michelle Gauthier: So that's really like the full activity.
- 3:33Michelle Gauthier: But we don't have time for all that on this podcast.
- 3:36Michelle Gauthier: So what I'm going to do is give you a high- level rundown so that you can think about what your ideal day would contain.
- 3:42Michelle Gauthier: If you really want to make progress on feeling less overwhelmed and getting towards that more ideal day, I do recommend that you write down your answers so we'll put the questions that I'm about to ask you to ponder in the show notes too, in case you can't write them down right now because you're walking or driving or folding laundry or whatever you're doing while you're listening to this podcast.
- 4:02Michelle Gauthier: First, you want to focus on just thinking about your ideal day.
- 4:06Michelle Gauthier: This is going to be like an ideal, normal day.
- 4:11Michelle Gauthier: This isn't going to be like the one day when you're in Bali and you decide to go skydiving or whatever.
- 4:18Michelle Gauthier: It's not like the most amazing, special day of your life.
- 4:21Michelle Gauthier: It's like your ideal Tuesday, when you're doing whatever you do on a normal Tuesday.
- 4:27Michelle Gauthier: So I want you to think about it in that way, but I also want you to think, this is just only in your imagination and you can come up with anything that you want.
- 4:36Michelle Gauthier: For example, when I think about this, I always dream up that someone makes my breakfast every day.
- 4:41Michelle Gauthier: Right now, I have breakfast every day, but I make my own breakfast.
- 4:44Michelle Gauthier: So in my ideal day, someone's making my breakfast every day.
- 4:47Michelle Gauthier: So make it whatever you want to be, and then we will work on in the next two steps how to actually start getting in that direction.
- 4:57Michelle Gauthier: Okay, so, now that you've got the general idea, think about it being morning on your most ideal Tuesday and you open your eyes and just look around, and ask yourself, where do I wake up?
- 5:11Michelle Gauthier: How do you feel?
- 5:12Michelle Gauthier: What can you see, and where are you?
- 5:15Michelle Gauthier: Who is next to you, if anyone?
- 5:18Michelle Gauthier: If any kind of vision just popped into your head, just notice that and jot that down too.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: Mine always includes that I'm waking up in this luxurious bed with really nice sheets and a view of a lake through some trees.
- 5:29Michelle Gauthier: So that's a consistent one every
- 5:31Michelle Gauthier: time I search for my own ideal day.
- 5:34Michelle Gauthier: S o see what yours looks like, then just keep focusing on what would happen throughout the rest of your day.
- 5:40Michelle Gauthier: So, are you a breakfast eater, like I am?
- 5:42Michelle Gauthier: What do you do when you get up?
- 5:44Michelle Gauthier: Do you go for a walk?
- 5:45Michelle Gauthier: Do you journal?
- 5:46Michelle Gauthier: Do you go exercise?
- 5:49Michelle Gauthier: Do you just lay in bed and do the Wordle and text your sister to let her know how long it took you to get it?
- 5:55Michelle Gauthier: That's what I do every day.
- 5:57Michelle Gauthier: I would do that on my ideal day too.
- 5:59Michelle Gauthier: Do you want to have breakfast?
- 6:01Michelle Gauthier: If you do, envision what your breakfast smells like and looks like and who made that breakfast for you, or if you enjoyed making it for yourself.
- 6:09Michelle Gauthier: Where you're going to be eating it, what kind of view do you have?
- 6:12Michelle Gauthier: Are you having coffee?
- 6:14Michelle Gauthier: Are you having fresh- squeezed orange juice?
- 6:15Michelle Gauthier: Just think about what your most ideal morning would be.
- 6:19Michelle Gauthier: Ask yourself too, how am I feeling on that morning?
- 6:23Michelle Gauthier: So you had a feeling right when you woke up, and then how do you feel after you've had your breakfast?
- 6:29Michelle Gauthier: One thing that always comes to mind for me when I'm doing this is that it is very not rushed, slow, and intentional.
- 6:37Michelle Gauthier: My days in real life often don't feel like that.
- 6:40Michelle Gauthier: So in my ideal day, it's going to be slow and intentional.
- 6:44Michelle Gauthier: When you do get ready for the day and you decide that you're going to get on to whatever you're doing for the rest of the day, envision what it looks like when you open the door of your closet.
- 6:54Michelle Gauthier: What does your closet have in it?
- 6:56Michelle Gauthier: How do you feel when you look in there and what do you wear on your ideal day?
- 7:00Michelle Gauthier: Is your closet super organized and filled with clothes that are all in neutral shades, or is it all workout clothes or comfortable clothes?
- 7:09Michelle Gauthier: Or do you like putting on a dress every day?
- 7:12Michelle Gauthier: What is it that is in your closet, how does it look, and what are you putting on?
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: I know in my ideal day, there would be no uncomfortable clothes ever.
- 7:20Michelle Gauthier: You take your time to get ready if that's what you like to do, or get ready quickly if that's what you like to do, and then pause and see what you're going to do next and how you feel.
- 7:31Michelle Gauthier: So are you feeling relaxed or excited?
- 7:34Michelle Gauthier: And what are you going to do next?
- 7:36Michelle Gauthier: So imagine the next part of your day is doing
- 7:39Michelle Gauthier: whatever work you do, paid or not, that feeds your soul.
- 7:43Michelle Gauthier: What is it that you're doing?
- 7:44Michelle Gauthier: Are you working in your home?
- 7:48Michelle Gauthier: Do you go to an office?
- 7:49Michelle Gauthier: If you go to an office, do you have co-workers and are you happy to see them?
- 7:52Michelle Gauthier: Or do you have your own space?
- 7:54Michelle Gauthier: Do you enjoy being in this space?
- 7:58Michelle Gauthier: What does the space look like?
- 7:59Michelle Gauthier: If you don't enjoy being in the space, recreate the space in your mind and make it something that you absolutely love, and then think about how long you spend working on an average day.
- 8:09Michelle Gauthier: So are you getting to work at like 9 or 10?
- 8:12Michelle Gauthier: And are you staying until 3?
- 8:14Michelle Gauthier: Or do you work from 9 to 12?
- 8:17Michelle Gauthier: And that's all you work on your most ideal day.
- 8:19Michelle Gauthier: You can make it whatever you want.
- 8:22Michelle Gauthier: Obviously, you'll need to have a delicious lunch on your ideal day.
- 8:25Michelle Gauthier: So what do you eat, and where do you eat, and with whom?
- 8:29Michelle Gauthier: And again, focus in on all your senses.
- 8:31Michelle Gauthier: What's the temperature when you're eating your lunch?
- 8:34Michelle Gauthier: How do you feel?
- 8:35Michelle Gauthier: What do you see when you're looking around?
- 8:38Michelle Gauthier: How does it smell?
- 8:40Michelle Gauthier: After you've finished your lunch, check back and see, are you finished with whatever your work you're doing for the day?
- 8:46Michelle Gauthier: Do you take a nap in the afternoon?
- 8:48Michelle Gauthier: And then what does your evening entail?
- 8:51Michelle Gauthier: Are you having dinner with a family?
- 8:53Michelle Gauthier: Are you entertaining a group of friends?
- 8:55Michelle Gauthier: Are you spending the evening alone, quietly?
- 8:58Michelle Gauthier: How does your home, or wherever you are, smell and sound this evening, compared to this morning, and what kind of view do you see?
- 9:07Michelle Gauthier: I'm picturing a beautiful sunset in my ideal day.
- 9:10Michelle Gauthier: And then how do you wind down in the evening?
- 9:13Michelle Gauthier: Is there a special place you like to sit and read a book?
- 9:16Michelle Gauthier: Do you watch TV?
- 9:17Michelle Gauthier: Who's with you?
- 9:19Michelle Gauthier: What does the scene look like?
- 9:22Michelle Gauthier: Do you change into pajamas?
- 9:24Michelle Gauthier: Do you get into bed and read and fall asleep easily?
- 9:26Michelle Gauthier: Notice what your last thoughts are right before you fall into a deep sleep on this ideal day, and then notice one more time how you feel.
- 9:37Michelle Gauthier: Okay, so, hopefully, as I was going through that, you were kind of getting pictures in your head and or furiously writing down notes about what you found on your most ideal day.
- 9:47Michelle Gauthier: So now that you've got that, we're gonna move on to step two, which is identifying what you already have.
- 9:54Michelle Gauthier: So this is something that when I do this in my group coaching, it's always a surprise to people, because that ideal day that you just dreamt of, there are probably things in that ideal day that you actually already have.
- 10:07Michelle Gauthier: So, for example, if I think about my ideal day, I already have nice sheets and a super comfortable bed, so I can wake up in that already.
- 10:15Michelle Gauthier: I have access to buy the foods that I would like to eat for breakfast.
- 10:19Michelle Gauthier: I was envisioning like bacon and eggs and blueberries and strawberries.
- 10:23Michelle Gauthier: I could have that any day that I want.
- 10:25Michelle Gauthier: I also often wake up feeling excited about the day ahead, so I have that going for me already.
- 10:31Michelle Gauthier: I have a best friend who I can go to lunch with.
- 10:34Michelle Gauthier: I could definitely schedule a lunch with one of a handful of best friends.
- 10:39Michelle Gauthier: And let's say, in your case, you hate your job that you have right now.
- 10:43Michelle Gauthier: But what aspects of your ideal day do you have now, even at that job you hate, do you have co-workers who you love to be around?
- 10:51Michelle Gauthier: Do you love your office and maybe do you get to work at home?
- 10:55Michelle Gauthier: Do you have a flexible schedule?
- 10:57Michelle Gauthier: If there's anything that you love about your job, jot it down and focus on that.
- 11:01Michelle Gauthier: Maybe you just have a really nice coffee machine at your office and that's something that you want in your ideal day, even if you don't want the job or the co-workers or anything else.
- 11:10Michelle Gauthier: It's really good to remind yourself of what you already have.
- 11:13Michelle Gauthier: This is like the episode that I talked about in number 63, where focusing on your gain mindset, what you already have, can make you feel so much better without anything else changing.
- 11:27Michelle Gauthier: So notice what part of your ideal day you already have today, even if it's small and even if you have to really look for it.
- 11:35Michelle Gauthier: And then the third piece of this is identify what is missing from your ideal day and then list out some steps you could take to get there.
- 11:43Michelle Gauthier: So for this step, I want you to think small and big.
- 11:47Michelle Gauthier: I'll explain what I mean by that.
- 11:49Michelle Gauthier: So, for example, I said in my ideal day that I already have a bed that's really comfortable and some really nice sheets, but I woke up in some silk pajamas, long sleeve silk pajamas.
- 12:01Michelle Gauthier: So if that's what I want to wake up in, I could totally buy those for myself.
- 12:06Michelle Gauthier: I have access to get myself a great pair of pajamas, so I could do that.
- 12:11Michelle Gauthier: If I'm thinking small, if I dreamt of being able to get up and do journaling as soon as I wake up, set your alarm 10 minutes early tomorrow and do some journaling.
- 12:21Michelle Gauthier: Or if you really want to feel relaxed on your ideal day, but your days now don't feel relaxing, make a list of things that you can do to feel relaxed and do those things.
- 12:33Michelle Gauthier: Maybe watch a movie with your family or take a bath.
- 12:36Michelle Gauthier: There are simple things that you could do.
- 12:39Michelle Gauthier: That won't get you all the way to your ideal day, but if you can do or feel one of the ways that you identified in your ideal day, it just gets you closer and closer to that.
- 12:48Michelle Gauthier: Now for the big things like, for example, I mentioned in mine, I want to wake up and look out the window and see a lake through some trees.
- 12:56Michelle Gauthier: So if I want to get closer to that, maybe I focus on planning a vacation where I can have that for a few days.
- 13:03Michelle Gauthier: Or, if I'm getting really simple about it, I could save that view as the screensaver on my phone.
- 13:09Michelle Gauthier: So when I wake up in the morning and my alarm goes off and I have to turn it off, I think on my ideal day I won't have an alarm, but today I do.
- 13:15Michelle Gauthier: My alarm goes off.
- 13:17Michelle Gauthier: I see that picture.
- 13:18Michelle Gauthier: I see a view out to a lake with some trees in front of it.
- 13:22Michelle Gauthier: That's something I could do.
- 13:24Michelle Gauthier: Maybe I start looking at real estate and start looking at local lakes and see where I could one day get that place.
- 13:31Michelle Gauthier: And for your career, if you're like an accountant right now but you want to become a curator at an art gallery, that would probably take several steps to actually achieve that.
- 13:40Michelle Gauthier: Not impossible, might I note, but a small step you could take is to get a pass to your local art gallery, like a season pass or whatever they're called, so that you can just go there all the time.
- 13:50Michelle Gauthier: Or maybe, if you live in St.
- 13:51Michelle Gauthier: Louis, like me, it's completely free.
- 13:53Michelle Gauthier: So just go visit it as much as possible, study the artists, learn more things about art, or maybe you research what it takes to have that kind of job and start doing whatever training is required for it.
- 14:03Michelle Gauthier: So this step isn't meant to make you feel stressed out.
- 14:07Michelle Gauthier: You're already overwhelmed and busy.
- 14:09Michelle Gauthier: So think small, even for the big things.
- 14:13Michelle Gauthier: Even if you want to make a huge career change, think about the small steps that you could take to get there.
- 14:19Michelle Gauthier: Okay, to wrap this all up, I just want to remind you of a couple things.
- 14:24Michelle Gauthier: First, having clear goals is essential to reducing overwhelm and frustration.
- 14:29Michelle Gauthier: So again, back to the car.
- 14:31Michelle Gauthier: If you jump in your car and you start driving somewhere, that's great, but if you really want to get somewhere specific and know where you're going, you have to have a map.
- 14:42Michelle Gauthier: So make yourself a map.
- 14:43Michelle Gauthier: Do that by identifying and defining your ideal day.
- 14:48Michelle Gauthier: Again, the questions for that are going to be in the show notes and then finally, identify what you already have as part of your ideal day and start appreciating and having gratitude for that and then, for the things that you don't identify, some small steps that you can take to get there.
- 15:06Michelle Gauthier: As I mentioned at the start, this is a big part of what we do in group coaching.
- 15:10Michelle Gauthier: You define your ideal and you create a vision board.
- 15:13Michelle Gauthier: Then we focus on how to solve all the problems between you and your ideal day.
- 15:17Michelle Gauthier: We cover changing mindsets, setting boundaries, adjusting expectations, and taking action even when it feels super uncomfortable.
- 15:25Michelle Gauthier: If you get on the early bird list, which you can do today, if you want to join, the link is again in the show notes, you'll get a $250 discount if you sign up.
- 15:34Michelle Gauthier: So it is good for you to take two minutes to get on the early bird list and next week, when the sign up for group coaching opens, you will automatically get a $250 discount.
- 15:45Michelle Gauthier: Okay, now on to the do less for more success tip.
- 15:48Michelle Gauthier: My do less for more success tip is related to the summer and having your kids around for the summer.
- 16:04Michelle Gauthier: My kids basically make messes and eat things all day long and I never know what we're out of or what they need.
- 16:13Michelle Gauthier: So a rule that I have in my house is that they have to put on the Alexa grocery list what we need, otherwise it doesn't get into this house.
- 16:21Michelle Gauthier: So if you have Alexa, you could do that.
- 16:24Michelle Gauthier: If you don't have Alexa, you could come up with some other way.
- 16:27Michelle Gauthier: But they have to put things on the list in order for me to buy them, and then I put them on the Instacart list and buy them and have them delivered.
- 16:34Michelle Gauthier: This saves time and simplifies your routine.
- 16:37Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that's it for this week.
- 16:39Michelle Gauthier: Don't forget to sign up for the group coaching early bird list and I will see you next Monday.
- 16:44Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 16:51Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.
- 16:55Michelle Gauthier: com.
- 16:57Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.