Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / From a Love Triangle To A Dynamic Duo with Leslie Fhima and Theresa Nist

Transcript

From a Love Triangle To A Dynamic Duo with Leslie Fhima and Theresa Nist · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Welcome back. It's I Do Part two and I am
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: one of your celebrity mentors, Jennifer Bessler. You know me
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: from the Real Housewives of New Jersey and today I
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: am coming to you from the gorgeous Lake Tahoe, where
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I'm joined by some incredible golden women. These ladies are
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: living proof that life only gets better and more fulfilling
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: as you get older. From The Golden Bachelor, it's Teresa
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Niss Hello. And from The Golden Bachelor and this season
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: of Bachelor in Paradise, it's Leslie Fema.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: A you guys, We're so happy welcome. Not as happy
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: as I am to have you. I I'm a little obsessed,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: but I also I do want to let everyone know
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: that we are podcasting from Verbo at the Summerhouse in
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Lake Tahoe. And I want everyone to know that because
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: now this is my absolute destination. How gorgeous is it here?
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely I'm bringing my kids here. I mean, who
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: knew I was always a peach person? Yes, and the
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: way that like they're what they're facing, they're the mould eggs.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: We're blown away?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, right, are actually used to good views though you've
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: been to several paradise situations.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, we know our destinations and this is a
• 1:19
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• 2:14
  Speaker 3: that's right, pretty good, pretty good situations.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: So you guys, I also want our listeners to know
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: that we are at a pickleball tournament, which seems to
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: write is reflected reflected, I do not play pickleball. I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: rather would lay out by the pool, hence the non pickle.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Entire.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's not my things. But so you both are
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: partnered up for the tournament, right, you had a game
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: plan going into this.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Well, actually, Teresa was in Minneapolis a couple weeks ago
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: and we did play. We played with two of my
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: friends and we did really well.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I think we're a good team.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Do we name the team? Is there a name?
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Wait?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I the hottest of the back, the hottest of the Golden,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: the Hottest.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Sorry.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Although I actually love a few of you guys this show.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I loved so much watching The Golden Bachelor and the
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Golden Bachelorette and now Bachelor in Paradise, I have to
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: say I feel like I was waiting and waiting for
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: them to, you know, finally recognize that there are women
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: on that are walking this world who are not twenty
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: and one hundred and ten pounds and hot. And there
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: are women that are even hotter because they are older
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and smarter and wiser.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: So I have been really happy, not that they give
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: what I think, but the fact that The Bachelor, you know,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: started this.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: I'm really glad that they are acknowledging women our age
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: and men our age as well.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: You know that that's huge.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: We feel like we're finally showing the world what has
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: a has been that when you're at this age you
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: still have so much love and life to give.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So a man's sister, Yeah, what are the what is
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the age range getting on the show? Is they take?
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Well, for our show, it was sixty and up.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah it started, so I got three more years
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Jeff Ussler before I get it. Just kidding, just kidd it, okay,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: sixty and up. Yeah, And I feel like you all
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: on the younger side.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: I was sixty five when I was on, so I was,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: but there were there were a lot of women that
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: were sixty really and.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I turned seventy the night that show. It was her birthdayes, Well,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: you are not very am She's amazing, No, I.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Mean, it's just it is really incredible. I mean, with
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: the legs of it, all you guys in these like outfits,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I can't it is.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Sometimes we're like, are we dressing all right?
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Plenty of people tell us we're not dressing. We don't care.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: You get that really? Okay, yes, we get that. I
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: get that.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a big cursor, so please forgive me.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: But them, I know, I mean it's I don't really
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: care people think, you know, I try to keep try
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: to it his very own. Yeah, ever makes you exactly
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: anyone else exactly?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: This is what makes in my view, older women hotter.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, it's I mean.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: And also like, as long as my kids don't go,
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: oh my god, mom, what are you wearing? Then I'm okay.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: You know, like if they did say that to me,
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, all right, maybe I'd better take this off.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: But they don't.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Well, my kids do say it to me, and I say,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: stay in your please stay in your exactly that way I.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Tend to my daughter to send me straight. Is this wrong?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Is I like that?
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: No, I'm I don't listen to them at all. But anyway,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: moving on, So, Leslie, I am enthralled by Bachelor in
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Paradise and what is going on with you? So let's
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: just kind of first start out there. Okay, so talk
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: to me about you and Gary. You guys had such
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: a nice moment on the beach. I have to say.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I saw him obviously on the Bachelorette. What a doll
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: of a man, I mean, just sugar, right, yeah, is
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: he's so sweet. He just seems so warm and wonderful.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So tell me about that.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Well, the funny thing is I hadn't met Gary at all,
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: and some of the other people did things and they
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: met each other, but I hadn't met Gary. And then
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: they were they announced us on the finale of Grant's season.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: So I walked into the green room.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: It's the first time I met Gary, and I walk
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: in and he is just larger than light really, and
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: you know, he's so kind, and we became fast friends,
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: you know, because we were going out, like at the
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: end of the show and Jesse was going to say,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: and we have a surprise, you know, the Goldens are
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: coming to Paraguis, And so we were the two people
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: that were announced together.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I didn't think, you know, I mean, we didn't really
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: talk after that at all. I mean, we had like
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: two months before we were going, and so when I
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: got to Paradise and Gary came came a couple of
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: days later than I did, I don't know, we just
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: like hit it off and we had talked in the
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: green room, we're gonna dance because we both like to dance.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: And then he gets this day card and it's dancing,
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: and so he decided to take me on the date
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: and I was thrilled and we had the best time
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: because it like every night in Costa Rican May, it rains,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: so of course I started to rain and everything's outside,
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: you know, the dance floor of the band, the dancers,
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: they're all outside, and we danced in the rain.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I kicked my shoes off. We had so much fun.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: We were so good partners. You guys were like, you're
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: really well matched.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Serious. Yeah.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: I mean I, first of all, I dance, but I
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: do not sell a dance. I mean I've never taken
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: a lesson. I've done ballroom dance. I don't do anything
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: like that. Well, so you know, he's like, let me
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: take the lead. I'm like, okay, okay, that's gonna be
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: hard for me, but okay, but we Yeah, we just
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: had so much fun and we just literally had a
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: great time.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: That's what it looked like. There are so many dates
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: where you're like, you see like the awkwardness or it
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: doesn't seem like the connection is real. But I felt
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: like watching that, like you guys were just really honestly,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: earnestly having a good time.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't like stress enough.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: How we just like couldn't stop laughing and making jokes.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: And we had a little thing we like would wipe
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: our brow and then flick it because.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: The rain was like in our face. So we just
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: we're great.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: And you know what, guys will have to watch the
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: show to see what happens, obviously, but I can honestly
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: say right now he's one of my dearest friends.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Love it, And that's all I can really say about that.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: All Right, Well, I want to know, then you had
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: that moment with Captain Kim Teresa, what do you think
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: of that poem?
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: I loved it. I loved it so much. You did
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: so great.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: She was so good in that moment. She listened intently,
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: she told him it was beautiful. Yeah, she gave him
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: his due.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I loved it. She handle it. Thank you, well, thank you.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not really surprised that you loved it, because I
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: have to say that it felt like a gary move,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: like a.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Little bit depends who the woman is, a little cringey.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but also very The problem was that I was
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: in a predicament because we didn't know who was going
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: to go first, and I can't tell Natasha who to
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: pick that. I'm not going to do that, you know,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: so obviously, so I was hoping i'd be called first
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: so I can give Gary my rose, because of course
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: I want to give my rose. We just literally had
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: this amazing date, and I was really scrambling in my head,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: like what if I don't get called first, because I
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: heard that Natasha might want to pick Gary, and I'm like,
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: what would I do? Well, I'll figure that out when
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: I get there, right, So it happened, and I literally
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: was standing there thinking, I don't know what to do
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: right now, I don't know who to pick.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: I'm glad, I mean, I'm I was happy. He just
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: seems such also.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I did.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I did tell him after he wrote that poem for me.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: I did say, you know, Kim, I would have given
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: I wanted to be honest with them. I said I
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: would have given Gary may rose if I had been
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: called first, but I felt like, you deserve to be here,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: and you added the group, so I be honest.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I did tell him that.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I love it. I love that. So why does it
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: seem like in watching it that the Goldens. I'm not
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: sure yet if I love that. I'm a little like
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Iffy on it. I know, I don't know, But why
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: does it seem like the Goldens are having more fun
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: than I don't care, than the children. I don't care.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: You're the Goldens, they're the children, Teresa, You answered.
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: Because we're we have wisdom and we know that you
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: should not sweat the small stuff, and we know that
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: the things that getting upset about is it's just not
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: important in the large scheme of things. And we're at
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: this age where we want to enjoy life and have
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: yeah and have joined our lives and just will get
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: the good every part of this right, some of it
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: just seems just trivial.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, we just don't care. We don't care.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: I don't care if my hair is wet. And you
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: guys say that.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: New I can't believe saying this. But there's like a
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: somebody who's viral, this woman who's says a club for
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: women in perimenopause and menopause, and so that we do
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: not care club.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I love that that She's hilarious, but that's us, that's
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Costa Rican.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: We don't care, like we'll just do anything, say anything,
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: like who cares? I mean, you know we're being judged.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: We're sixty six, sixty eight, seventy, I don't it doesn't
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: matter what we are, and we don't care anymore. Yeah,
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: and I think you yeah, it's like it's it's one
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: of the persons of getting older.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Agreed. Agreed. So I'm curious how you guys feel about this,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: because so I'm going to be fifty seven in August.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: But I watching it, I don't know. I was a
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: little triggered, And I'll tell you what it was. I
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: was a little triggered watching the young's and the way
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: that they were so aren't they cute? Yes, I really
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: really bugs me. Oh my god, or saying you know, wow,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: talk about a cougar, or I could I better share
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: my cialis like that?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: That bothered It really bothers me.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: It feels very patronizing.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: It did, right.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to say that to you, but I
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: did feel that way on the first episode. I'll look
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: at them in their cute outfits. If we've never kissed
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: anyone or never babies, Yeah, we've been through so much,
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: and I did feel that way. And I was so
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: happy on the second episode where that went away, Yeah,
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: it did.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I think they were expecting something different, and I think
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: when we came in they were expecting, oh, you know,
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: cute outfit. I had a bikini on and all the
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: girls are like, where'd you get that? But you know,
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: like so I think they were expecting something different. And
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: after probably i'd say four hours, they were like, oh, yeah,
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: this is this is not what we were expecting.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, yeah they have they're human, who knew, Like,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know, your bikini wasn't cute? It was hot? Yeah,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: And I don't know. It just doesn't feel respectful to
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: me to be so patronizing. You know, at our age,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: we don't need to be We're not looking to be cute. No,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: right now, we're looking to be grown ass women sexy.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I hey, when people say he's so cute, I'm like, no, no, for.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Me, that is not for me.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: All right, So let's talk a little bit. We're going
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: to shift gears just a little bit. So a lot
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: of our listeners out there struggling when it comes to dating,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: just learning to date all over again after having been
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: in a long marriage, a long term relationship. Obviously you
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: two have had some experience in this area. So what
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: do you feel like is your best advice now for
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: someone a woman who is getting back out there after
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: you know, being with someone for years and years.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: So before this all started, I was on the dating
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: apps and I did a lot, and I guess I
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: had hundreds of dates. I won't go back to doing that. Personally,
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: I think that it's just getting out there and out
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: of your shell and maybe do five things. Or you're volunteering,
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: or you're doing you're taking a cooking class, or you're
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: going out and meeting, taking a wine class. Just get
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: out and do things. And I really I said this recently,
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: like making eye contact with people and then telling everybody
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: in your circle of friends. And we meet so many
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: people now, so even to tell them that you're looking.
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: And that's that's what I think I'm doing at this
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: at this point.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I can say people do ask me like what,
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: you know, what's your advice with you know what? And
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: basically I tell everyone the same thing. Don't say no,
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: don't say no to anything.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Just go.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: If you're asked to go to a show, go even
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: if you don't feel like it if you're asked to
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: go to a concert, get out there, go have fun.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: You never know who you're going to meet. You never
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: know who you're going to meet that knows somebody. You
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: might be standing in line at a concert to get
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: a drink and the's a cute guy ahead of you, Like,
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: you just don't know. And that's what I always tell people.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Just don't say no, and you've got to force yourself.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: When I was in my twenties, I was the director
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: of a dating service. Oh it's just lunch. It's actually
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: how I met my husband.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Oh that's so cool.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah it was not. It was definitely against the rules.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: But here we are whatever, all these years later. But
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I remember saying then and saying now with dating apps
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: because we didn't have that back then, right, Like the
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: whole thing about not saying no. And I know dating
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: apps can be tricky, but even if it's just meeting
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: up with someone never it doesn't have to be dinner. No,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: it could be a coffee.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I would do a.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Coffee and not knowing, like expecting it, not expecting there
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: to not be a spark. Right, The probability is that
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: you're not going to click with someone in that way
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: until you do. But like having said that, potentially this
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: is a new friend and he knows someone for you
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and you know someone for him. And to just if
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: you go in looking at it like this is just
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: an experience to make a new friends. Sit down. And
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: by the way, you're not giving out your home address
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: and so and and I feel like at our age,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: it's easier to say, listen, you seem like a really
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: nice guy. I don't feel a spark, but you know,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: and at our age, I feel like that kind of
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: thing we could take it.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: But there's nothing I'm staying about having friendships too, Like
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: you know, when you're our age, relationships and they come
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: in a lot of different forms. And I believe that
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: you know, having relationships whether it's a girlfriend.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Or a guy.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of guys guy friends, you know,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: And I think that's important you know, around out your life.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I agree, you agree?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: What is? What do you feel like is different now
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: in terms of dating in twenty twenty five than it was? Well? Certainly,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: well you guys, how long were you both? You were
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: married twice?
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Right? I was, But I've been single for like twenty years.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, you had a few in the social media. Yeah, yeah,
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: maybe not the social media. Right, Yeah, it's different now, right, Yeah,
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: it's different. I just don't I mean Minneapolis, I've lived
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: there my whole life. I know everybody, and it's a small,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: big town, and I just don't see me finding somebody there.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: Maybe somebody that is going to move there, or somebody
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: that has a dad that lives in Chicago or you know,
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: someplace like that. I would love to, you know, find somebody.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: I don't care where they live, you know, But I
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: don't know. It's hard at home.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: It's hard when you feel like, yeah, you've met everybody
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: and you know them all. I know, I'm sure that
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: is what are you thinking?
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: So my husband passed away almost eleven years and so
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: at first I thought, no, I'll never be with the
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: man again, and and then I did do It's what's
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: different about now. I guess the taking apps is that
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: it just seems like there could could be another better
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: person and a better person. But I love your advice
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: about not thinking of it in terms of it absolutely
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: has to be your love.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: It's expected, not to be expect but don't go into
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: it knowing, yeah, probably this is not going to be
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: a love connection. Yeah, but it's another human yeasting down
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: to I don't know nothing about this person, but like.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: That guy, I might know somebody or you know, you
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: just don't know.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and again like not taking it all so seriously,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I think not, you know, being our age. Also, and
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: when I was in my twenties and dating, it was
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: it was life or death. I wanted to get married
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: and have a baby. Yeah, it's all like me think
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: about it was so right.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was too. I got married at twenty one.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, wow, uh huh eighteen eighteen.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I mean I remember this from the show. You guys,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: it's just been a while crazy. My kids are twenty
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: three and twenty five. I cannot even picture either one
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: of them coming to me saying that they oh I
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: know right.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: No.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: I mean my son got married at thirty and I'm like, oh,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: you know, you're so young.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, no, he's not.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: You know, Jess, I was thirty, I was thirty. Yeah,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I was thirty and Jeff was thirty six, and I
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: was like as much and I wanted it was long
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: ten years between twenty and thirty. And again like the
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: biological clock and I know that, but to kind of
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: not have that pressure now, right, like like we know,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: like that was I felt like I had to get
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: my life started right in our life.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Because it was like TikTok, we don't go you know, yeah, yeah,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: you're so right.
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: That's what's so different now is that we don't have
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: that urgency. Yeah, we're not looking to make a family.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: And I really love what you said that. Now I
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: might go back on a dating app. Really just think
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: think of it as just finding friends.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, by the way, you might not even
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: hit it off as friends, but it's it's you'll have
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: a good cup of coffee, maybe you'll meet maybe it'll
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: be a really nice guy. And you put a time
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: frame on it. You could say, I'd love to meet
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: for coffee. I've got, you know, a half an hour
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: here in and out right, yeah, and see what happens.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe you'll stay longer.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Never know.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll go back into uh the dating stereo.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: You should? You should?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I love that. Do you think that you should FaceTime someone?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And this is interesting because this is sort of like
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I'm saying to you meet somebody for half an hour,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: but or do you FaceTime a man before you go
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: out with him?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I don't. You don't I do you do? I don't.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: First of all, I have to hear a voice.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: So I if if there's just texting and a meeting,
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I got to hear your voice because
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: for me, a voice is says a lot and the
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: way they talk and if they have good grammar and
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: you know. But I know it's supposed to be just
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: a quick cup of coffee or whatever. But that's when
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I was on the dating apps, I always had to
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: hear their voice first.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I understand that.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: I feel the same way, but I kind of feel
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: like the FaceTime takes away some of the mystery of it,
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: Like there's an excitement about meeting someone for the first time. Yeah,
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: I do several phone calls before I would meet.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: It's also like, do you think that it's not when
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: it's not live, it's just a different dynamic. It's like,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you know, and it's like you can't you can't really
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: connect in the same way. And maybe if you meet
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: face to face there's some kind.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Of that's how I have there's a chemistry.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe that could happen. I remember, probably not, but I have.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: To say I was on not the I was it wasn't.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: It's not a matchmaker, but it kind of is a
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: matchmaker and they match you up and.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Then you have a zoom date.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: And I had a great Zoom date with some and
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: he was I could have talked to him and been
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: on whatever. And then actually he lived in New York
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: and I went to New York and I met him
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: for coffee face to face, and it was like a
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: completely different person.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, hmmm, that wasn't how it was on zoom. Yeah,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: so you just don't know. I know Lloyd's New York
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: for coffee. No, I was in New York.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: No, no, No, I was about to say I was
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: in No, I didn't go to New York for a
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: coffee day. I was in New York and he was,
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: you know, and I happened to be going there. I'm like,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: I'd love to meet you, you know.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well all right, And now I'm just
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: curious about how these how these guys, these older guys
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: find you besides the apps, like to any of them,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I hate this expression slide into your dms like the
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: young people say they do well, especially now.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Because you guys have said your daughter sliding into my
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: dms really for their fathers.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, me too.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: And I've had a man send me roses. Yeah, letter
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: and he's just convinced I'm the woman And.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: Where is it?
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: No, not for you, definitely got it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: And mostly we get very young guys like way too young,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: really like thirty year old. Yes, we don't understand it.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: No, I understand it. Do you want to explain it
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: to you? I don't know, I understand it. Come on,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, I listen, it's whatever. I mean. I find
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: you both just so charming and lovely and beautiful. But
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: so do you get hit on a lot, like do
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: people recognize you?
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: They recognize us everywhere? Really, but we don't. I mean,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know, we don't.
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: We get recognized by young people so much. All the
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: young people show and that they loved us. A lot
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: of times it's the it's a boyfriend and girlfriend and
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: the boyfriend recognizes us and or they were her and yeah,
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: and he goes.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I told you it was her. Yeah to the girl.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: It's so funny, you guys, because I got on a
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: reality show on Housewives. I was fifty three at the time,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: and it's it's that's a whole different, you know, there's
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: a whole different situation. Housewis is whatever. But it's still
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: like I was able to kind of reinvent myself and
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: this not that I wanted even to reinvent myself, but
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: it was such an adventure and I think like for
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: you guys, I would think too, Like it says, what
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: an adventure you're you're having? You know?
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: Right, well everybody says did you have fun? I said
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: I had the best time. I mean, first of all,
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: I came away with like having a best friend are.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: So much?
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: We were best friends in yeah, yeah, and then we're
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: the last two and we're like.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I was going.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: To say, see, this is also the difference I think
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: between maybe the younger the younger kids, and like like
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: the fact that you were able to maintain that friendship
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: even when it was down to the.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Two of just the two of you, that's tricky.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, you know, after that us going to
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Costa Rica, I we didn't see each other, right, you know,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: they keep us apart, and so I I did come
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: home broken hearted, and Teresa wrote me a beautiful text
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: message and she invited me to her wedding, and you know,
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: but but but I'm just saying we got over so
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: many things and we came out like I can honestly say,
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: this girl has my back for everything.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: She's my biggest cheerleader. I hope, I'm yours. You are
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: my biggest you know, And I'm going to cry because
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: it's like, yeah.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry to that was the point, you guys,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: the point that you found each other.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: So I feel like a winner because I came out
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: with her, I know the same way.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I mean everything I know.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: And now I've gone to visit her and friends and
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: her family, and.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: We went to New York together in Minnesota, Minneapolis life.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: Now I'm going again keep inviting her to New Jersey.
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: I am asking taking me up on my invitation some day.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Just kidding. I want to go every time.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: Then I had paradise. But things are going to call.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Let's walking around the people when you're when you do
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: make it to we're gonna. I would appreciate that later.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: I have to. I just have to. I can't help it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: So the Gary of it all, so Gary, No.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: The Gary Gary, the Gary Gary Gary.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah I hate to say that, but now no, I
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: didn't say, you know, but now there's another Gary.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Gary, Yes, okay, so so the one that we are
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: no longer in contact with. But I mean, you guys
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: feel like it's a weird thing. It's a different thing
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: obviously with very different experiences. But looking back, do you feel,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: you know, like it was an experience worth having loving
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: him and you know at this point or was it
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: just I hope it wasn't too wearbreaking and it was
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: worth it.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Way worth it. I in the experience overall.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: With him being good and you seem like a really
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: kind person.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean you're in a bubble.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and my experience was probably different than Teresa's. But
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: my experience was he was very nice to me and
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: very kind, and he, you know, was very interested in
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: what I had to say, and you know, way different
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: than any other person I've been with. But I laughed
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: at my jokes. I like that I made him laugh.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: I like that, So you know, I felt like I
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: was seeing you know, and appreciate appreciate it. But obviously
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: you don't know what else is going on. You don't
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: know other conversations at all.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: It's hard to watch back.
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: Do you get something here that we are so similar
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: in type? You really that there was there there was
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: a reason why he.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: D Yeah, very much alike it. It was hard for me.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: It was hard for me to watch.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that was terrible. But listen, now you're both
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: single again.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah we were a single.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Oh I love this the dynamic duo.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Same thing.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: So Teresa and Leslie loved having you on. Thank you.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate having you again here quite quite a
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: long time now. I mean I'm telling you, like when
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: the when the show, when it first happened, I was thrilled.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I was just I felt like finally, and then you know,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: seeing women like you and that are I don't know,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not whatever. I'm not going to get too sappy. Yeah,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: but women that again, I'm fifty seven, we're not far apart. Yeah,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: but I just I'm watching even a little bit ahead
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: of myself and seeing what there is not just look
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: forward to. But you're so vibrant. Yeah, and so you.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: And that's the thing about the young people watching us.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: They come up to me daily and say, you make
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: growing old look okay. You know, because when you're young
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: sometimes you don't think about it, but then it creeps
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: in your head like in your thirties, right, young you
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: know whatever, And that is for me my biggest I
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: just love that. I love being able to, you know,
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: motivate younger people to you know, stay in shape and
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: just be happy, do things and all that.
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. You know they say, we're not afraid to get
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: old anymore. Yeah, that's so rewarding.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I do love that.
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: The best part of this whole thing, the friendships, meeting
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: all these people come up to us.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: It's one seem like, imagine what life has to offer, right,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: like the adventures to follow. I mean, I am I'm
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: taking a random guest here, but I just think for
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: some reason that you, my friend Urisa are going to
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: end up on Bachelor's in Paradise one day. I just
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: see it, just see it. Just say all right, guys.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: So anyways, so again, thank you, love your bank again.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: So check out Bachelor and Paradise and it is on
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Monday nights on ABC and streaming on Hulu. So do
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: you have dating horror stories you want to share? Call us,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: email us, we want to hear them.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: All.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: The info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where fall Lank and Love
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: is the main objective MHM