Latest / The Padded Cell Podcast / 'The Detachable Sex Arm' - The Padded Cell Podcast Episode 155 PART 1

Transcript

'The Detachable Sex Arm' - The Padded Cell Podcast Episode 155 PART 1 · The Padded Cell Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_03: It wasn't a parasite, it was actually a detachable sex arm.
0:05
SPEAKER_02: How fucking smug is she?
0:07
SPEAKER_03: I want to believe.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: Contemporary estimates say that his fortune was worth roughly$30 million then.
0:16
SPEAKER_03: And she goes, Hi, Vic! I love you!
0:20
SPEAKER_02: They're clever, but they're a bit stupid when the horny is what you're saying.
0:23
SPEAKER_03: Well, that's just men.
0:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't.
0:24
SPEAKER_03: Then Hastings subsequently supplied extraordinarily detailed ransom instructions wait for us.
0:31
SPEAKER_03: He drugs her.
0:32
unknown: Oh, God.
0:33
SPEAKER_02: No, we don't encourage that.
0:35
SPEAKER_03: We don't encourage that at all.
0:36
SPEAKER_03: Do they actually hold your balls and say cough?
0:38
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
0:42
SPEAKER_03: Are you a deviant?
0:44
SPEAKER_03: You know, like those of us who binge-watch serial killer programs, laugh at the stupid stuff people do, and revel in anything else?
0:53
SPEAKER_03: Well, you found your people, jumbling ours, as we crack open the door of the path of cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live as a summit for nulls.
1:03
SPEAKER_03: We've developed the strange, the macabre, the sexy and the rage! So, if you're a deviant, then you have your places in the Path of Cell.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: This episode was just too good to cut, folks.
1:16
SPEAKER_03: So we're gonna do this in two parts, and this part will end just after the dangly bit, and we'll pick up in part two next week.
1:23
SPEAKER_03: I'd a good one.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: Be sure to join us.
1:26
SPEAKER_03: Hello and welcome to episode 155 of the Path of Cell Podcast.
1:31
SPEAKER_03: And today I'm here with our batter again.
1:33
SPEAKER_03: Hi.
1:34
SPEAKER_03: Look at my glasses.
1:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so where do you get these from?
1:36
SPEAKER_02: Found them in the shed.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: If you found them in the shed.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: From some party.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: I was cleaning up the shed and I found them.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: They must have been my daughters.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: And I put them on.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: And they stayed on.
1:47
SPEAKER_03: I just I just think it's funny though that you've you've put the little caveats.
1:50
SPEAKER_03: They must have been my daughters.
1:51
SPEAKER_03: They must have been, yeah.
1:52
SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, yeah.
1:53
SPEAKER_03: They wouldn't be yours or any of the lads or anything.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: Back in June, you know, when we had that dead nice weather and it was clearing the shed, found them.
1:59
SPEAKER_02: You know, and you just put shit on.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: You know like when you were a teenager tied in your room and you're wearing fucking everything.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: And I put them on.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: Forgot I had them on.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: Went to Aldi, did some shopping, come back home.
2:09
SPEAKER_03: With them on?
2:10
SPEAKER_02: With them on.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: No they actually do suit you.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: No one said a word.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: Now they've just become part of me.
2:16
SPEAKER_03: Don't you were similar on the bus?
2:19
SPEAKER_02: These are the ones I wear.
2:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh, they are the ones.
2:21
SPEAKER_03: Can I try them on?
2:21
SPEAKER_03: No.
2:22
SPEAKER_03: I won't be able to see a thing.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: No.
2:24
SPEAKER_03: Please.
2:25
SPEAKER_03: Just for a minute.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: People are just jealous.
2:27
SPEAKER_02: I can pull them off.
2:28
SPEAKER_03: I don't think I could.
2:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm looking for off a mess.
2:31
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready?
2:33
SPEAKER_02: Nah, they look good on you, you know.
2:35
SPEAKER_02: You're not having them.
2:37
SPEAKER_03: Well, I can't because I can't see.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: Good.
2:39
SPEAKER_03: I actually can't see.
2:40
SPEAKER_03: I'm looking in the general direction of the cameras.
2:44
SPEAKER_03: Your guess is as good as mine.
2:47
SPEAKER_03: They need a bit of a clean though, mate.
2:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know the house is full of brick dust.
2:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's like thumbprints all over that.
2:54
SPEAKER_03: It's like a crime scene, right?
2:57
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I can talk.
2:58
SPEAKER_03: I clean my glasses when I literally can't see through them anymore.
3:01
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes Jimmy goes, Love, you just clean your glasses.
3:03
SPEAKER_03: I can't see your eyes.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: They are.
3:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:06
SPEAKER_02: And they don't look any different to me, but.
3:07
SPEAKER_03: They don't, but can you can see through them a bit better now, can't you?
3:10
SPEAKER_02: I can see through them anyway, it was just you.
3:11
SPEAKER_02: Fucking blind anyway.
3:12
SPEAKER_03: So they weren't dirty at all.
3:13
SPEAKER_03: It was just my bad eyesight.
3:14
SPEAKER_03: Is that what you're trying to say?
3:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:16
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
3:16
SPEAKER_03: I like them though.
3:17
SPEAKER_03: Wow, they're very nice.
3:18
SPEAKER_03: I like them.
3:19
SPEAKER_03: Really good.
3:20
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so uh I think before we continue, as always, because you know the creators of chaos, um, something always you know goes awry on recording day.
3:31
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes it's like, you know, I can't find my lucky knickers or something.
3:34
SPEAKER_03: Two things happened today.
3:36
SPEAKER_03: I couldn't find all my memory cards for the cameras and all that.
3:40
SPEAKER_03: Still can't find them, Baz.
3:42
SPEAKER_03: I've these are my backups.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Are they?
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:44
SPEAKER_03: They're older, they're slightly older, but they're fine.
3:46
SPEAKER_03: It's just I like to use my new ones, you know.
3:48
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so they went missing.
3:50
SPEAKER_03: I still don't know where they are.
3:52
SPEAKER_03: Thankfully, everything's been stripped off them.
3:54
SPEAKER_03: So, and the other thing is my printer packed in.
3:57
SPEAKER_03: So I've only got one story.
4:00
SPEAKER_03: There's gonna be a very short episode today.
4:02
SPEAKER_03: I'm not joking.
4:03
SPEAKER_03: Um, so I'm gonna be all techie and I'm gonna I'm gonna try and um use the computer.
4:09
SPEAKER_03: It's a bit glary actually for my old eyes.
4:11
SPEAKER_03: So let's see if I can turn it down a little bit.
4:13
SPEAKER_03: So I'm gonna attempt to read off the screen today.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: Um you want to then like choose your tongue when you're thinking as all going on.
4:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: So you're gonna see a lot of tongue action.
4:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:23
SPEAKER_03: So for those who are watching on camp, uh, you will see me look into the screen quite a lot.
4:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm really, really sorry about that.
4:29
SPEAKER_03: It's just I can't help it, can I?
4:31
SPEAKER_03: So, anyway, before we actually start, I went to Morrison's the other day to go and get some petrol.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh, don't start on the petrol.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: Go on.
4:40
SPEAKER_03: It's nothing to do with petrol prices, it's not to do with petrol.
4:42
SPEAKER_03: No, it's a nice little story, so I can calm your tits.
4:45
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, um, I was getting petrol, put air in my car.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: As I was getting out of my car to put the air in, this girl in a car comes around with traffic behind her and she was going out of the um petrol station and she goes, Hi, I think, I love you.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: Obviously, I looked and didn't know her.
5:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:03
SPEAKER_03: So I assumed when somebody knows my name and they're telling me that they love me, he recognised me off Facey or the Pather Cell podcast.
5:10
SPEAKER_03: So I went, Oh, yeah, you're all right.
5:13
SPEAKER_03: I said, Did I watch you in the bath with a glass of wine?
5:16
SPEAKER_03: And I went, Are you trying to tell me that you watch me naked?
5:18
SPEAKER_03: And she went, Yeah.
5:20
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, her name's Jennifer.
5:22
SPEAKER_03: So lovely to meet you, albeit briefly.
5:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, and in the very sure three seconds that we conversed, I found out your name that you love me, you watch a paddle, and you watch it naked with a glass of wine.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: I could have gone the other way.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: I watch you naked in the bath.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: It's like, fuck Jimmy, what are you even putting up in the house?
5:41
SPEAKER_03: But isn't it nice you people are chilling out in the bath with a glass of wine, naked?
5:46
SPEAKER_03: Clicking the bean.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: You just feel like you're in the room with somebody having a little conversation.
5:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, you do.
5:53
SPEAKER_03: And obviously, you know, she feels that comfortable in the room with us.
5:56
SPEAKER_02: She's they'll strip off in front of you and have a glass of wine.
5:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:58
SPEAKER_03: Clicking a bean.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: Nice one, John.
6:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so nice to meet you.
6:01
SPEAKER_03: Nice to meet you.
6:02
SPEAKER_03: It was just really funny because she's literally shouted it across the foreport, you know, a bit of a distance between us.
6:07
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Eric.
6:09
SPEAKER_03: Really, really funny.
6:10
SPEAKER_03: It's nice if people come over to you than style and all that kind of thing.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: You'll get it soon.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: I'll probably just give them fucking side eye or something.
6:18
SPEAKER_02: I look miserable as shit during the day.
6:20
SPEAKER_03: It's because you're in work.
6:21
SPEAKER_03: And you've got kids.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: If you ever do see me in work, I'm not actually miserable.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm just expressionless, I say.
6:28
SPEAKER_03: Numb.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:30
SPEAKER_03: Dead inside.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: The wheels turning, but the hamster's dead.
6:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: It's just like because you're just working, aren't you?
6:36
SPEAKER_03: Everyone's like.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: So you're not happy, you're not pissed off.
6:39
SPEAKER_02: You're not anything, just you're just are, are you just existing.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: Going, get me through this day, please.
6:47
SPEAKER_03: You need a job that you look forward to going into work for, don't you?
6:52
SPEAKER_03: I spoke that as midwife until the NHS killed before.
6:54
SPEAKER_02: The problem with that is I need a job that pays the mortgage as well.
6:59
SPEAKER_02: The hobbies and the job wages don't always balance out, do they?
7:02
SPEAKER_03: Uh I know.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: Speaking of, if you go on Patreon.
7:08
unknown: Yeah.
7:08
SPEAKER_03: Two pounds a month, you can watch this on vid.
7:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I chose to um be happy and uh make my hobby me full-time job, just don't earn full-time money yet.
7:19
SPEAKER_03: No.
7:19
SPEAKER_03: But I know that all of our lovely listeners out there, because they love me too, just like Jennifer.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: And they love Baz and eat Sissy and Kev.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: That you know, you spend two pounds a month.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: Too quick.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: You can't even get a coffee for that.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: You can't.
7:31
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, I'm not I wasn't even me supposed to be able to sell on that, it just came into convoy, but there you are.
7:35
SPEAKER_03: Go on to Patreon, please.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, come on.
7:37
SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
7:37
SPEAKER_02: I've got an expensive coffee habit, and I'm not paying me own.
7:40
SPEAKER_03: I haven't got an expensive coffee habit, I really haven't.
7:42
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, right, so let's do some on this days.
7:45
SPEAKER_03: This is go now on the 22nd of October.
7:48
unknown: Wow.
7:50
SPEAKER_03: And um in my last episode, some of you might remember that um I got my dates cocked up.
7:57
SPEAKER_03: So I did, I did the the wrong day.
7:59
SPEAKER_03: I think I did the 22nd of October on the 15th or something like that.
8:02
SPEAKER_03: I got it all mixed up.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: Old age.
8:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:05
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
8:06
SPEAKER_03: Well, I think what I was I'm trying to write several things at once.
8:09
SPEAKER_03: You know, if I find something, oh, that's good for that episode.
8:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:11
SPEAKER_03: That's good for that episode.
8:12
SPEAKER_03: And it doesn't take much to confuse me, but you're here for it, fine.
8:16
SPEAKER_03: So I missed out the 8th of October altogether.
8:18
SPEAKER_03: And the things that I found, you see, on this date, are quite nice.
8:21
SPEAKER_03: So, well no, one's not nice, but the other one is.
8:24
SPEAKER_03: Right.
8:24
SPEAKER_03: And I wanted to tell them I didn't want them passed, I didn't want to pass them by and also I'd already done the work for it.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: You didn't want to wait a year to get them out again.
8:31
SPEAKER_03: I've done the work for it, so it's fun going out there.
8:34
SPEAKER_02: What the time is?
8:34
SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna fucking listen?
8:36
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
8:36
SPEAKER_03: So, um, oh before we do, oh do you want to pour your coffee?
8:40
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: I was kind of hoping you'd say the thing.
8:42
SPEAKER_03: And then I'm gagging.
8:43
SPEAKER_03: Uh, and also uh for those who aren't watching, um I've got a teapass.
8:48
SPEAKER_03: I've got a La Cruz tea pass.
8:52
SPEAKER_03: What?
8:52
SPEAKER_02: You have to get in and look through your aid.
8:54
SPEAKER_03: I know, but as we were saying off air before, yeah, all my La Cruz stuff is our Facebook marketplace for like a fucking fraction of the price.
9:01
SPEAKER_03: I think, like I said, it's three 350 total over the years, and it's about two and a half grand's worth.
9:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, go on.
9:09
SPEAKER_03: I can't pull the mic by the mic.
9:16
SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
9:17
SPEAKER_03: Cheers, everybody.
9:21
SPEAKER_03: So Sissy Wednesday.
9:24
SPEAKER_03: I have a challenge for you.
9:26
SPEAKER_03: A mission if you choose to take it on.
9:31
SPEAKER_03: This tea pot, even though it would have cost the original loan an awful lot of money on me, not an awful lot at all, uh, it doesn't keep my tea as hot as it should.
9:39
SPEAKER_03: And it yeah, that should be really boiling, really, shouldn't it?
9:43
SPEAKER_03: Uh and it's not so City Wednesday.
9:47
SPEAKER_03: Do your crochet tea cozy's.
9:50
SPEAKER_03: I'd love a green and purple padded cell vibe.
9:54
SPEAKER_03: Tea cozy for me, teapot.
9:56
SPEAKER_03: I can bring a teapot on more often.
9:58
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna say, as soon as you start to talk in my head and oh, tea cozy.
10:01
SPEAKER_03: Tea cozy, yeah.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: Fuck, you're gonna have little doilies out and everything soon, aren't you?
10:04
SPEAKER_03: I haven't got a space big enough for a proper afternoon tea set up.
10:07
SPEAKER_03: So at the beginning there, I said I've got these uh 8th of October on this day.
10:11
SPEAKER_03: So I mean, because they're really good for actually the first one isn't isn't positive, but it's one of them things that you're like, oh, these happened on the same day, oh go out.
10:20
SPEAKER_03: So 8th of October, a coincidence.
10:24
SPEAKER_03: So 1878, somebody is attempting to steal the corpse of one of America's richest men.
10:34
SPEAKER_03: They don't actually do it on this day, but they're attempting to do it, they are successful in the end.
10:38
SPEAKER_03: That's the 8th of October 1878.
10:40
SPEAKER_03: 8th of October 1910, a Montana newspaper prints a coded message connected to negotiations over the return of a stolen three-year-old body.
10:54
SPEAKER_03: So, same date, uh two corpses and ransom cases uh 32 years apart.
11:01
SPEAKER_03: Exactly the same date.
11:02
SPEAKER_03: So they're unrelated, but you know, how mad's that?
11:05
SPEAKER_03: You know, some of these you know wanting to steal bodies on the same day.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, see that in itself.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: Why?
11:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna tell you why.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, we'll get to that.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Doesn't matter how rich they were when they were alive, once they're dead, they're dead.
11:17
SPEAKER_03: So But it depends how much you cherish your loved ones in the ground and how loaded you are.
11:25
SPEAKER_03: If you're really, really, really loaded, like stupidly loaded, and somebody said, Give me three hundred grand or you're not getting your son back.
11:34
SPEAKER_03: You'd just give him three hundred grand, wouldn't you?
11:36
SPEAKER_03: Or would ya?
11:37
SPEAKER_03: Would you?
11:38
SPEAKER_03: This is a this is a good argument.
11:42
SPEAKER_02: I'm sort of very much an army keeper.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: Just a rotten corpse.
11:48
SPEAKER_03: It's a good argument for cremation.
11:50
SPEAKER_02: Well yeah.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: Isn't it?
11:52
SPEAKER_03: You can't steal that.
11:55
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so Alexander Terney Stewart, Irish-born businessman, and he became one of the wealthiest merchants in the 19th century in America.
12:04
SPEAKER_03: And he made his fortune through um enormous New York department stores, near the ones that used to see years ago, talk up like home blocks and all that.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: Well, he made his fortune through that and he died in 1876.
12:17
SPEAKER_03: Now, I looked into um how much he was worth, and I had to check this a couple of times.
12:24
SPEAKER_03: No, because it was quite notorious, this thing.
12:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, his accounts there's a figure out there, we reckon that there's a lot more.
12:35
SPEAKER_03: Let's put it that way, like a lot of businessmen out there.
12:37
SPEAKER_03: And now, you're not to go and declare everything.
12:39
SPEAKER_03: I do, of course, HMRC.
12:42
SPEAKER_03: Nothing to declare.
12:44
SPEAKER_03: Um, but contemporary estimates say that his fortune was worth roughly$30 million then in 1876.
12:57
SPEAKER_03: That's that's nuts.
12:59
SPEAKER_02: Beyond Elon Scale now.
13:02
SPEAKER_03: It's nuts.
13:02
SPEAKER_03: Well, it is Elon Scale, I think.
13:04
SPEAKER_03: You know, I mean, I looked into trying to um see what that would be worth in in this time, but that amount of money is quite hard, you know, to yeah, to transfer some money now.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, he was buried in St.
13:17
SPEAKER_03: Mark's in Bowrie.
13:19
SPEAKER_03: It's a cemetery in Manhattan, and almost immediately rumours circulated that uh criminals were were gathering thoughts.
13:27
SPEAKER_03: We steal a body and ask his missus for a ransom because they're fucking loaded, and surely she'll want him back.
13:36
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so it's like rumors, nothing happened.
13:40
SPEAKER_03: Police reportedly uh investigated some sightings of strange men around the cemetery, but it's a cemetery.
13:46
SPEAKER_03: Of course, yeah.
13:47
SPEAKER_03: Strange people tend to hang around them, and also teenagers drinking on church steps and in the cemetery as well, and doing other things.
13:55
SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
13:57
SPEAKER_03: So, police investigated these men.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: Nothing happened until the 8th of October, 1878.
14:03
SPEAKER_03: The sextant of the cemetery, George Hamill, discovered that the stone slab, uh bearing Stewart's name, had been lifted from the grass.
14:12
SPEAKER_03: So somebody'd been like making moves, maybe like testing it to see if it could be moved, or maybe they've had to go and we'd disturb or something.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: Were a lot of them like tombs back then where they'd slided off the top?
14:23
SPEAKER_03: Some of them are like, yeah, the slidey ones, or like more solution.
14:28
SPEAKER_03: Do you need a crowbar or whatever?
14:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:31
SPEAKER_03: I think they were just testing the water yourself, yeah.
14:34
SPEAKER_03: Because the grave underneath hadn't been disturbed at all.
14:36
SPEAKER_03: And the way the top had been moved, they could have easily just got in.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:40
SPEAKER_03: They do reckon that somebody'd been trying to figure out how to get in and how quickly and all the rest of it.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: So the the dead guy's representatives, they reacted.
14:50
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I think his wife must have been like, you know, sought something out here.
14:53
SPEAKER_03: Locked were put on the churchyard gates, and um, there was security around and about.
14:58
SPEAKER_03: Also, is uh identifying grave marker, you know, like in the States they often have just like little plaque type things, don't they?
15:04
SPEAKER_03: That was secretly moved about 10 feet away, um, and then the original position was covered over to try and hide the fact of where he was.
15:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like I say, those watchmen they patrolled every hour throughout the night, and it worked for a short time.
15:18
SPEAKER_03: Nothing happened, and the watchman will let go.
15:21
SPEAKER_03: Three nights later, the grave robbers came back.
15:24
SPEAKER_03: So they've obviously been watching this charade going on, you know.
15:29
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, the body disappeared, and this became one of America's most notorious corpse theft cases.
15:38
SPEAKER_03: Corpse theft?
15:39
SPEAKER_02: Even saying corpse theft, it's just Do you reckon it was like back then people used to get buried with their valuables, didn't they?
15:46
SPEAKER_02: People still do, like anybody thought they were gonna find a bag of money, load of jewellery.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: Expensive some things that you might have might have been a fellow that always carried a pocket watch or something stupid that was worth thousands.
16:01
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
16:02
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
16:03
SPEAKER_03: I think it was just to try and get some money out of the missus personally.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: It's like an easy hostage situation, isn't it?
16:09
SPEAKER_02: Because they're not gonna argue and fight back.
16:10
SPEAKER_03: No.
16:11
SPEAKER_03: I mean if you think you're gonna get ransom money, would you really be that arse if he's got like a wedding ring on or something?
16:16
SPEAKER_03: I mean you take it like we've been get loads more money, or would we?
16:19
SPEAKER_02: No, but if you've gone for like get the valuables, open it up, gone and right, ask the wife.
16:24
SPEAKER_02: They're in a panic, they've gone, all right, we'll just take the body.
16:26
SPEAKER_03: Take the body and we'll ask the wife for some money.
16:29
SPEAKER_03: And this is what happened.
16:30
SPEAKER_03: And ransom negotiations apparently followed.
16:33
SPEAKER_03: Now, this does need a little bit of fact-checking uh warning here.
16:38
SPEAKER_03: Um later on, uh, the police chief George Walling claimed that Stuart Widow ultimately paid for the returns of the remains.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: Uh, according to Walling's account, masked men produced a sack containing Stuart's body during an arranged exchange, and the ransom was handed over.
16:57
SPEAKER_03: Right?
16:58
SPEAKER_03: This is I'm not reading.
16:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:00
SPEAKER_03: But historians actually can't verify that account at all.
17:04
SPEAKER_03: The New Yorker examined the story and surviving records, and they noted that Wallins' version lacked documentary corroboration.
17:14
SPEAKER_03: So actually, they don't know where his body is, they don't know whether it was returned, whether she did actually pay the ransom.
17:21
SPEAKER_03: They just don't know.
17:22
SPEAKER_03: It's still actually an unsolved case.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: Because how would she have known anyway?
17:27
SPEAKER_02: She's got a bag of bones back back in 18.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: You couldn't go, can you just test that bone?
17:32
SPEAKER_03: I mean, he won't he hadn't been dead that long.
17:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh so you know.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: Might have still been a bit fleshy.
17:39
SPEAKER_03: A bit funky like.
17:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:42
SPEAKER_03: Um mad, isn't it, really?
17:44
SPEAKER_03: But anyway.
17:45
SPEAKER_02: But then maybe she did and she just kept him in the basement because she didn't trust Raves anymore.
17:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, maybe.
17:53
SPEAKER_03: Maybe I would I'd be like that.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: Or I'd like to just paid a fair chunk to get her body back.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna go keeping it there anymore.
18:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: Put it in the chest freezer.
18:05
SPEAKER_03: Anyone who goes out and buys one of those long chest freezers needs to be immediately investigated.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: Yes, you do.
18:10
SPEAKER_02: Why do you need that?
18:12
SPEAKER_03: I mean, if you're in America and you're a hunter and all the rest of it you're gonna you know put you out on the sticks.
18:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and yeah, you don't go out very often and freeze all your stuff.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: But you know, if you live in fucking Wallacey.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: And you're artists down the road and Tesco's delivered in 20 minutes.
18:27
SPEAKER_03: You know, the police need to be like, why why is that dude needing a big massive human-sized chest freezer?
18:33
SPEAKER_03: I would.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: And all that acid and then plastic buckets.
18:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, mask and tape, rope.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so fast forward 32 years, like I said before, another case.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: 8th of October 1910.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: And this time we're in Great Falls in Montana.
18:50
SPEAKER_03: Now, I just need to give you a little trigger warning because this involves a child.
18:55
SPEAKER_03: Um, but the child is actually already dead, but you know, got some sensitive souls out there, so I just want to give you that little warning.
19:02
SPEAKER_03: And the child's name is Arthur Gail Conrad, nicknamed Taddy.
19:08
SPEAKER_03: And he was three years old when he died from spinal meningitis on the 4th of April 1909.
19:13
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, his father, Harfield Conrad, what her name?
19:19
SPEAKER_03: He'd taken him to Southern California in the hope of the climate, uh, might improve his condition, the spinal meningitis.
19:25
SPEAKER_03: His mother was also ill in hospital when Arthur died.
19:29
SPEAKER_03: Um, and the family actually delayed telling her because they feared the shock, might worse her condition and everything.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, Arthur's body was brought home and buried in Highland Cemetery.
19:39
SPEAKER_03: Then, on the morning of the 25th of November 1909, the cemetery sexton discovered Arthur's grave had been disturbed and the body was gone.
19:49
SPEAKER_03: Now, the thieves had left the coffin at the cemetery entrance, but the body was missing out the coffin.
19:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a whole new level of weird.
20:01
SPEAKER_03: So obviously, um the suspicion of why they did this was ransom.
20:05
SPEAKER_03: The Conrad family was really wealthy and prominent in banking, so another one, you know.
20:11
SPEAKER_03: And for months, the newspapers they largely kept quiet, really, while the police and family tried to find Arthur and recover him.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: Um, but there's a little bit of a bizarre turn, and this is why I wanted to bring this in.
20:24
SPEAKER_03: Enter a fortune teller.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: So Harfield Conrad apparently had been visiting a woman for fortune telling card readings for a while.
20:34
SPEAKER_03: And according to the Cascade County Historical Society's records, she began revealing details about the grave robbery that hadn't been made public.
20:46
SPEAKER_03: So remember, the newspapers are being kept quite quiet.
20:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:50
SPEAKER_03: And because the police and the family were still trying to um recover Arthur, they were keeping the details under wraps.
20:56
SPEAKER_03: And also we are talking about a dead body, it's not a living child.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: So this this it's not dead, it's just a person.
21:05
unknown: Yeah.
21:06
SPEAKER_02: You only become a body when you die.
21:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:09
SPEAKER_03: So the fortune teller had been uh sharing information that hadn't been made public.
21:13
SPEAKER_03: Now, suspiciously though, she'd apparently predicted what the body snatchers would do next.
21:21
SPEAKER_03: Conrad went to the police because she he's like, You're in on this.
21:26
SPEAKER_03: It just sounds a bit sus, doesn't it?
21:28
SPEAKER_02: You got too lucky there.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, anyway, the woman was called Alice Lutz and her partner was Fred Locker, and they were arrested.
21:35
SPEAKER_03: They were not ultimately convicted accessories to grave robbery, which it was a thing then.
21:42
SPEAKER_03: So I don't know why they weren't.
21:44
SPEAKER_03: They ended up saving time for unlawful cohabitation.
21:50
unknown: Fucking hell.
21:51
SPEAKER_03: Because they'd been living together without being formally married.
21:54
SPEAKER_03: So it's like they couldn't get them on the grave robbery.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: But they got them on that.
21:57
SPEAKER_03: They got them on that instead.
21:59
SPEAKER_03: So maybe.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: Didn't have enough evidence because it was a thing.
22:01
SPEAKER_03: It was doing a grave robbery.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: It was a criminal profession, in a way, at one stage, wasn't it?
22:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:08
SPEAKER_03: So there mustn't have been enough.
22:10
SPEAKER_03: So they went down for unlawful cow habitation instead.
22:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh mad's that.
22:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, meanwhile, Conrad uh was receiving letters signed WC Hastings.
22:23
SPEAKER_03: Hastings offered to return Arthur's body for$1,500.
22:28
SPEAKER_03: That roughly uh equates to tens of thousands of dollars today.
22:32
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, Conrad was instructed to communicate through personal adverts in the Great Falls Tribune.
22:38
SPEAKER_03: Sign his message, HC.
22:40
SPEAKER_03: So this is a long time ago, 1910.
22:43
SPEAKER_03: The conversing through newspaper adverts.
22:46
SPEAKER_03: I mean, this time.
22:48
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I know the body's kid's dead, but you know what I mean.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: You've got to send it in, wait for it to get printed, wait for it to get distributed.
22:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: Could be like a month apart, these messages.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:59
SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
23:01
SPEAKER_03: The so the where the date 8th of October comes in.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: The Great Falls Tribune carried one of Conrad's coded communications to Hastings.
23:10
SPEAKER_03: And this is actually preserved in a museum, this thing now.
23:13
SPEAKER_03: Um, and then Hastings subsequently supplied extraordinarily detailed ransom instructions.
23:20
SPEAKER_03: Wait for us.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: Conrad was to take a single-seat automobile with one other man.
23:27
SPEAKER_03: Drive out through little Chicago towards Flowery and Fort Benton.
23:32
SPEAKER_03: Have lights positioned so the kidnappers could see who was inside the car and bring$1,500 entirely in$20 gold pieces.
23:42
SPEAKER_03: Put the gold in every ransom letter he'd ever received in a strong white sack.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: Drive at 15 miles an hour.
23:49
SPEAKER_03: Watch the left side of the road for a light.
23:51
SPEAKER_03: When the light appeared, throw the sack out of the moving car.
23:55
SPEAKER_03: Don't stop, don't slow down.
23:58
SPEAKER_03: Then accelerate at 20 miles an hour.
24:00
SPEAKER_03: Continue several miles towards Fort Benton.
24:03
SPEAKER_03: Turn around and return.
24:05
SPEAKER_03: It sounds like fucking dodgy, doesn't it?
24:08
SPEAKER_03: Doesn't it?
24:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
24:09
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, it gets a bit worse.
24:13
SPEAKER_03: The ransom drop goes horribly wrong.
24:15
SPEAKER_03: So Conrad and his brother, the other man in the car, decided not to put$1,500 in the bag, even though he's loaded.
24:23
SPEAKER_03: He fills it with washers instead.
24:27
SPEAKER_03: Other men were positioned nearby as part of an attempt to catch whoever collected the bag.
24:32
SPEAKER_03: And the brothers spotted a man they believed might be involved.
24:37
SPEAKER_03: One of them saw what appeared to be a gun being raised.
24:41
SPEAKER_03: Both brothers fired.
24:43
SPEAKER_03: Then they realised the man they'd shot was actually one of their own party in on the whole thing.
24:48
SPEAKER_03: Their friend had been mistaken for obviously the body snatcher and was killed instantly.
24:53
SPEAKER_03: The coroner couldn't determine which brother had fired the shot, but one of them killed him.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:59
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, after all of that, Arthur's body was never recovered.
25:08
SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry, I know it's not funny, but you know.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: It's not, but it is.
25:13
SPEAKER_02: All that effort.
25:15
SPEAKER_02: Interception on both sides, and then it's just nuts, isn't it?
25:19
SPEAKER_03: So we've got these two cases 32 years apart.
25:23
SPEAKER_03: Both involve stolen corpses, both involve a ransom, both involve very wealthy families, and both results in nobody being returned.
25:34
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so I'm gonna move on.
25:36
SPEAKER_03: Uh 8th of October was also World Octopus Day.
25:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love octopus.
25:41
SPEAKER_03: I love oh that's actually incorrect.
25:45
SPEAKER_03: No, it's not.
25:46
SPEAKER_03: It is.
25:46
SPEAKER_03: I'll tell you why in a minute.
25:48
SPEAKER_03: I was hoping he'd say octopi, so I'd go, right!
25:52
SPEAKER_02: Fucking smuggy.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: And because it's done my research.
25:56
SPEAKER_03: I said octopi as well before.
25:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: How was it wrong?
26:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh, we'll get to that.
26:01
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's because um, yeah, I'll get to it.
26:03
SPEAKER_03: I'll get to it.
26:04
SPEAKER_03: It's a Greek and Latin thing.
26:06
SPEAKER_03: So Latin um language, as far as I remember, they put like an I on the end for a plural.
26:12
SPEAKER_03: So it'd be octopi.
26:13
SPEAKER_03: Uh, but actually, octopus is a Greek word, and Greeks are puses, so it's octopuses.
26:18
SPEAKER_03: Is that for the correct plural?
26:20
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't even sound right, octopuses.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: Pusses.
26:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
26:22
SPEAKER_03: Pusses.
26:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:24
SPEAKER_03: Octopi.
26:25
SPEAKER_03: Octopuses.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, I found out some really lovely things about uh octopuses.
26:33
SPEAKER_03: Because I love them.
26:34
SPEAKER_03: Do you know when you see pictures like the Kraken?
26:36
SPEAKER_03: It just looks amazing, doesn't it?
26:37
SPEAKER_03: And we know they're really clever.
26:38
SPEAKER_03: I'll go into that a little bit.
26:40
SPEAKER_03: Uh I just love that they just look prehistoric.
26:43
SPEAKER_03: There's so many different types of octopus.
26:46
SPEAKER_03: Um, and there's lots of little quirky that you can do.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: They change colour.
26:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they do all sorts of different things.
26:50
SPEAKER_02: Have you seen like the teleprogrammes?
26:52
SPEAKER_02: You've probably seen the massive ones that they find it, like the giant squids.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: I know they're not octopuses, but the squids and they just like wash up and start swallowing boats and shit.
27:01
SPEAKER_02: Like they are amazing.
27:03
SPEAKER_03: I mean, how long have they been around for to grow to that size?
27:05
SPEAKER_03: That's what I'm saying.
27:06
SPEAKER_03: How have they survived?
27:07
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's nuts, isn't it?
27:09
SPEAKER_02: They're like almost invincible.
27:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:11
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so it's octopuses, not octopi, and I've explained why.
27:18
SPEAKER_03: So did you know that they have three hearts and blue blood?
27:23
SPEAKER_02: You'd have blue blood.
27:24
SPEAKER_03: Do you know why?
27:28
SPEAKER_02: No.
27:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: So I thought every time I leave it, I feel stupider.
27:31
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no.
27:32
SPEAKER_03: I thought that.
27:33
SPEAKER_03: This is why.
27:34
SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh my god, fuck off, really.
27:35
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm going to share this because you've probably thought the same as us.
27:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:38
SPEAKER_03: Octopi and all that.
27:40
SPEAKER_03: So they've got three hearts, two hearts pump blood through the gills, and then a systemic heart pumps oxygenated blood around the rest of the body.
27:51
SPEAKER_03: Its blood is blue, not metaphorically, it's actually blue.
27:56
SPEAKER_03: Now, us humans, we've got um iron in our in our blood, haven't we?
28:01
SPEAKER_03: In the hemoglobin, that transports oxygen around the body.
28:05
SPEAKER_03: Um, octopuses use copper containing uh hemocyanin, which gives oxygenated blood its blue colour.
28:13
SPEAKER_03: So hemocyanin, hemocyanin, because cyan is blue, isn't it?
28:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, hemocyanin.
28:19
SPEAKER_03: There's copper containing hemocyanin.
28:22
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, we've already got eight arms.
28:24
SPEAKER_03: We've got three hearts, blue blood, and no bones.
28:27
SPEAKER_02: No bones.
28:28
SPEAKER_03: What else do we know?
28:30
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's arms, they can taste you.
28:35
SPEAKER_02: No.
28:36
SPEAKER_02: That's a bit weird.
28:37
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
28:37
SPEAKER_02: Three little sockers.
28:38
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
28:39
SPEAKER_03: They don't just grip.
28:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:41
SPEAKER_03: They contain like these uh sensory cells that allow the octopus to um taste by touching.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
28:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:51
SPEAKER_03: There was a 2020 study uh published in Cell, it's like an academic journal, uh, and identified these specialized receptors in the octopus suckers.
29:02
SPEAKER_03: Uh, and they realized then that when an octopus has run its arms over a surface, it's like gathering chemical uh information as well as physical information and deciding what it's going to do with it.
29:12
SPEAKER_03: Is it safe to eat to a move on?
29:14
SPEAKER_03: Is it a threat?
29:14
SPEAKER_03: Is it wherever it is?
29:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: Do you remember that one that was predicting the World Cup a few years ago?
29:19
SPEAKER_03: I think that was true.
29:20
SPEAKER_03: I don't think that was just a fluke, innit?
29:21
SPEAKER_03: No, I do, I think it was real.
29:22
SPEAKER_03: I want to believe.
29:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: You can't train an octopus.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: No, no.
29:28
SPEAKER_03: It's just mad, isn't it?
29:30
SPEAKER_03: So when you see like I've seen people handling an octopus and you see the like that on your own wrap themselves around.
29:35
SPEAKER_03: They licking you, they're licking your arm.
29:37
SPEAKER_02: No, that makes it weird.
29:39
SPEAKER_03: No, they're licking your arm.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: It's just hanging on so it doesn't fall off because it's not in the water anymore.
29:43
SPEAKER_02: That's all it's not.
29:44
SPEAKER_02: It's tasting that's fucking weird, that is.
29:46
SPEAKER_02: Spitting on you.
29:48
SPEAKER_03: Just don't like them.
29:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but no.
29:51
SPEAKER_02: I do, I don't want to be licked by one.
29:53
SPEAKER_03: Don't want to pick one up, no.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: No.
29:58
SPEAKER_03: So, as we said before, they are frighteningly clever, actually, octopuses.
30:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they can solve problems, they can manipulate objects and learn their environment.
30:09
SPEAKER_03: So, um, I looked into some studies that have been done to see actually how clever they are.
30:17
SPEAKER_03: They're clever, but how fucking clever, right?
30:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, fairly clever.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: So, um, there's one study, it's a really nice example uh from veined octopuses observed in Indonesia.
30:29
SPEAKER_03: The researchers watched them dig up discarded coconut shell halves, clean them out, stack them, and carry them across the seabed.
30:40
SPEAKER_03: Right?
30:41
SPEAKER_03: Carrying the shells was a little bit cumbersome.
30:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, but later it was worth it because they saw the octopus assemble the shells around itself and make a shelter.
30:52
SPEAKER_02: No.
30:54
SPEAKER_03: Little fucking coconut igloo under the water.
30:57
unknown: Yeah.
30:57
SPEAKER_03: So the researchers described this as tool use.
31:02
SPEAKER_03: Um, and that's like a trait that we've got, obviously, you know, we find things, make a tool out of it to benefit us.
31:08
SPEAKER_02: I've seen clips where like they can undo locks and bolts and stuff, can't they?
31:11
SPEAKER_03: They're really good at problem solving.
31:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:13
SPEAKER_03: You know, like mazes and you know, getting things out for food and stuff like that.
31:17
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely brilliant.
31:20
SPEAKER_03: Also, researchers have found the species called the gloomy octopus.
31:25
SPEAKER_03: Do you know what?
31:26
SPEAKER_03: If I can find some pictures of these for those on Vizio, I'm gonna flash them up.
31:29
SPEAKER_03: I just love octopuses, so we're gonna share some octopus love.
31:33
SPEAKER_03: So the gloomy octopus.
31:35
SPEAKER_03: I'm envisaging this not being gloomy at all.
31:37
SPEAKER_02: Sounds kind of cute.
31:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
31:39
SPEAKER_03: It's in Australia, anyway.
31:41
SPEAKER_03: And um, they've documented them gathering materials such as uh shells, silts, and algae and propelling it using jets of water at other octopus, and sometimes they they actually hit them as well.
31:57
SPEAKER_03: They weren't just like in the general direction, they were aiming for them.
31:59
SPEAKER_03: So octopus having a nerf walk, yeah, absolutely.
32:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so um they weren't sure what they were seeing.
32:07
SPEAKER_03: Was it playful?
32:09
SPEAKER_03: Was it a threat?
32:10
SPEAKER_03: Was it just I'm just throwing shit round, I just happen to you know hit Ollie the octopus over the yeah, me mate.
32:17
SPEAKER_02: You want to hope it's playful, don't you?
32:18
SPEAKER_02: They look playful, yeah.
32:20
SPEAKER_03: I think if they were gonna be threatening, they might use something else rather than just throwing algae round.
32:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they'd probably just get one of their eight arms, wrap it around your head and strangle you.
32:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, or you know, fire some ink at you or something.
32:30
SPEAKER_02: Well, play is in everything.
32:32
SPEAKER_03: Of course it is, yeah.
32:32
SPEAKER_03: Of course it is.
32:33
SPEAKER_02: It's in play, so I reckon they're playing.
32:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:35
SPEAKER_02: We're not ruining that image as well.
32:37
SPEAKER_03: No.
32:38
SPEAKER_03: So I I really like that.
32:40
SPEAKER_03: Also, it's nice, but it's also a bit obviously they have sex.
32:47
SPEAKER_03: Male octopuses have a specialised reproductive arm.
32:53
SPEAKER_03: No, wrong one, love.
32:56
SPEAKER_03: It's called the Hecto hang on.
32:59
SPEAKER_03: The Hectocotelus.
33:01
SPEAKER_03: Hectocotelus.
33:04
SPEAKER_03: It's just another arm, okay?
33:06
SPEAKER_03: And this transfers packets of sperm.
33:10
SPEAKER_02: Can it taste through that one as well?
33:12
SPEAKER_03: That'd be interesting, wouldn't it?
33:15
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, but there's a good reason why you wouldn't really want more of these, which I'm going to come to in a minute.
33:20
SPEAKER_03: So in 2026 this year, researchers have discovered something strange.
33:26
SPEAKER_03: In California, there's a two-spot octopus and this arm it didn't merely transfer the sperm to the female, it can detect female reproductive chemicals.
33:39
SPEAKER_03: How do they know this?
33:40
SPEAKER_03: Researchers found that the receptors on this arm responded to progesterone.
33:47
SPEAKER_03: They experimented on this, and the males in the experiment attempted to mace it with tubes treated with progesterone.
33:58
SPEAKER_03: It's a fucking fleshlight for octopus.
34:00
SPEAKER_03: Exactly what I was thinking.
34:02
SPEAKER_03: Fucking a flesh light.
34:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
34:04
SPEAKER_03: I mean, they could have made it a bit more interesting.
34:06
SPEAKER_03: We'd have to give them a flesh lights and just put progesterone in it.
34:09
SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
34:09
SPEAKER_03: And they would have worked out to press the button and everything got it because they're dead clever.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:13
SPEAKER_03: Charge it up and everything.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Anyway.
34:16
SPEAKER_02: So but they they're clever, but they're a bit stupid when they're horny, is what you're saying.
34:21
SPEAKER_03: Well, that's just men.
34:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is.
34:25
SPEAKER_03: Also, this arm.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: The way you keep calling in arm, it's like it's gonna be a good one.
34:32
SPEAKER_02: Because I can't say the words away from an arm and it's because I can't I can't say the word.
34:37
SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
34:38
SPEAKER_03: This is me my favourite bit, but it's because I'm a dominatric and I'm a female, and these sort of things make me go.
34:48
SPEAKER_03: Some males take an even more extraordinary approach with their arm.
34:55
SPEAKER_03: There's an uh octopus called the Argonaus.
34:59
SPEAKER_03: Also called the paper nautilus, and they've got this arm, and it can detach during mating and remain with the female.
35:09
SPEAKER_03: So they have fucky fucky on lose the dick, basically.
35:12
SPEAKER_02: Does it grow back?
35:13
SPEAKER_03: No.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: What?
35:15
SPEAKER_03: Nope.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: So extreme one-chan saloon, isn't it?
35:20
SPEAKER_03: This was discovered by a French naturalist called George Georges Cuvier.
35:26
SPEAKER_03: I could have destroyed that, really sorry.
35:29
SPEAKER_03: And he witnessed one of these arms detaching inside this female octopus in the 19th century.
35:36
SPEAKER_03: He thought he discovered this parasitic worm, but then later he realised that it was actually its dick.
35:44
SPEAKER_03: Um and so and he gave it this name, the Hectocat, whatever that thing that I couldn't say before.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: The Hectocatilus, whatever it is, Cosylus.
35:52
SPEAKER_03: So he realized it wasn't a parasite, it was actually a detachable sex arm.
35:58
SPEAKER_02: To strap on.
35:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
36:00
SPEAKER_03: Does he get it out?
36:02
SPEAKER_03: And he also discovered that the male octopus will die at this point.
36:11
SPEAKER_03: And it's very common for female octopus to eat the male after she's stolen his arm.
36:19
SPEAKER_02: Fucking women are bitches, man.
36:23
SPEAKER_03: I mean, on this occasion, I uh need to agree.
36:26
SPEAKER_03: I think she's got having a cake and eat it then, isn't she?
36:28
SPEAKER_03: Literally having a cake and eat it.
36:31
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, sexual cannibalism amongst octopuses, mad eye.
36:38
SPEAKER_02: No.
36:39
SPEAKER_03: Also, um, in 2025, researchers discovered um that this extraordinary solution in male blue-lined octopuses.
36:50
SPEAKER_03: The females can be twice the size of males, and they do nearly all the time cannibalise the males during mating.
37:01
SPEAKER_03: So, what do they do?
37:03
SPEAKER_03: These males, these carry this solution that I was uh hinting at before.
37:09
SPEAKER_03: So the males they come off trumped in the end.
37:13
SPEAKER_03: So, what do the males do to try and combat this twice the size octopus who's gonna eat him once he loses his penis arm?
37:21
SPEAKER_02: Do they poison them from the inside?
37:23
SPEAKER_03: He drugs her.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, good lad.
37:26
SPEAKER_02: No, we don't encourage that.
37:27
SPEAKER_03: We don't encourage that at all.
37:29
SPEAKER_02: If you're gonna get eaten, at least you know you're gonna get your own back.
37:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:34
SPEAKER_03: So, researchers, these researchers observed the males biting females near the aorta and delivering this solution.
37:43
SPEAKER_03: Uh tetrodetoxin.
37:46
SPEAKER_03: It's extremely powerful, it's a neurotoxin, and it's associated with these uh these blue-ringed octopuses and blue line octopuses that I said before.
37:55
SPEAKER_03: So this toxin temporarily immobilizes the female enough for mating to take place and for them to lag it.
38:03
SPEAKER_02: So they don't even realise it's happened until after the event.
38:06
SPEAKER_02: See, you just said it and it just clicked in my head.
38:08
SPEAKER_02: Them blue-ringed octopuses, they're tiny, aren't they?
38:11
SPEAKER_02: Because you see these clips popping around of people having them on the palm of their hand and then you're not going nuts, like, are you fucking stupid?
38:16
SPEAKER_02: That could have killed you.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: But they're like for us, I'd probably say about the size of a two pig.
38:21
SPEAKER_03: Tiny?
38:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:23
SPEAKER_03: Um, and the saddest part of all this, which I didn't know, I didn't know.
38:28
SPEAKER_03: So even though the female octopus are a bit cunty and eat their male counterparts, um, once they've actually uh had all their babies, they will spend weeks or months garden them.
38:41
SPEAKER_03: But they do so, so um uh what's the words I'm looking for?
38:46
SPEAKER_03: They're so precious over it and they just they just forget to eat and look after themselves.
38:52
SPEAKER_03: So they tend to them like you know, morning noon and night and just neglect themselves.
38:57
SPEAKER_03: And it says here that they drastically reduce or completely stop feeding themselves and give everything they've got to the little hatchlings, um, and then eventually just she deteriorates and dies.
39:10
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
39:10
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, there you go.
39:12
SPEAKER_03: That is World Octopus Day.
39:14
SPEAKER_03: So now we know they've got three hearts, blue blood, arms that taste things, they can use tools to solve problems, a dick that comes off, they throw stuff at each other, they cannibalise, they have a specialised sex arm.
39:31
SPEAKER_03: Uh, yeah, sometimes the arm detaches, and sometimes the male chemically um drugs the female in order to fuck her and not die, which is a bit of a win-win, really, isn't it?
39:44
SPEAKER_03: Right, we're gonna go into a little dangly bit, and then our main segment, which is a discussion.
39:48
SPEAKER_02: Okay, with discussions, we like discussions.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: Like discussions.
39:51
SPEAKER_03: So the dangly bit is a very quick one.
39:54
SPEAKER_02: So you've already got a smirk in your eye.
39:57
SPEAKER_02: Go on, yeah.
39:58
SPEAKER_03: I want you to look at this item.
40:00
SPEAKER_03: It's okay, look.
40:01
SPEAKER_03: I want you to look at this item, it's in my BDSM kit bag.
40:04
SPEAKER_02: Do we need to look for a roast into glasses?
40:06
SPEAKER_03: If you want to, you can do if it helps you.
40:09
SPEAKER_03: It's an everyday item.
40:10
SPEAKER_03: Uh-oh.
40:11
SPEAKER_03: And it's in my BDSM kit bag, and I don't use it for what it's for.
40:15
SPEAKER_03: So I want you to look at it and see all the things I would do with this thing.
40:20
SPEAKER_03: What is it, first of all, for the listeners out there?
40:23
SPEAKER_03: It's actually an ice scraper.
40:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, ice scraper, pain scraper, yeah.
40:26
SPEAKER_03: So it's an ice scraper, plastic ice scraper.
40:29
SPEAKER_03: It's got um like a beveled edge, so it's a little bit like scrapy on the on the edge.
40:34
SPEAKER_03: It's got like a little rounded handle.
40:36
SPEAKER_03: So in a BDSM contact buzz, what do you think I would do with that?
40:42
SPEAKER_02: The first one's obviously you'd probably smack people with it.
40:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:50
SPEAKER_03: I would smack people.
40:51
SPEAKER_03: Where do you think I'd smack them?
40:54
SPEAKER_02: That would go if it's curved.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: So it would go right around.
40:57
SPEAKER_02: Perfect.
40:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:59
SPEAKER_03: So a reach around, so if they're like facing away, I can reach around, you'd go or underneath.
41:03
SPEAKER_02: Why have I just got excited over going, oh, you could tap their balls?
41:06
SPEAKER_03: I should have thought of something dead good.
41:08
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't, no.
41:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can tap and pull though.
41:12
SPEAKER_03: You can go scrape.
41:14
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say scraper like up their back.
41:17
SPEAKER_03: I was talking about the balls in the car.
41:18
SPEAKER_03: So you've got lots of sides to it, don't forget.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: It's not really gonna you know you have to press pretty hard.
41:25
SPEAKER_03: The other side, yeah.
41:26
SPEAKER_02: Move that way around.
41:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:27
SPEAKER_03: So you put it over their mouth, yeah.
41:28
SPEAKER_03: What were you gonna say then?
41:29
SPEAKER_02: You shove the arse and make them defrost you in the you could do.
41:33
SPEAKER_03: I'd put a condo over it first, obviously.
41:35
SPEAKER_02: Obviously.
41:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:36
SPEAKER_03: So Barney was demonstrating shoving the handle up somebody's arse and then making them scrape the ice with their arse.
41:43
SPEAKER_02: You use it like one of them things to hold their tongue down if they're getting a bit mouthy.
41:46
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
41:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you gotta be literally.
41:49
SPEAKER_03: It's a humbler.
41:50
SPEAKER_03: I call it a humbler.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
41:52
SPEAKER_03: I do loads of things, but yeah, it's a humble.
41:54
SPEAKER_02: See if someone did that to me, do many people ever just go, uh you can't help it.
41:59
SPEAKER_03: Pretty much everybody, I think, actually makes a noise.
42:02
SPEAKER_02: It's like an automated response, isn't it?
42:03
SPEAKER_02: When something holds your tongue down, you go, uh I don't think a doctor's done that to me for years.
42:06
SPEAKER_03: I've had throat infection, they'll just say open your mouth.
42:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so that's how I had that almost when I joined the RAF and they had to have me proper like medical and shit.
42:13
SPEAKER_03: Do they actually hold your balls and say cough?
42:15
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
42:16
SPEAKER_03: Why do they do that to make sure your balls are dropped?
42:18
SPEAKER_02: I think it's checking for hernias or something somehow.
42:21
SPEAKER_02: I can't remember.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: I was 19.
42:23
SPEAKER_02: It was a while ago.
42:24
SPEAKER_02: Did you enjoy it?
42:25
SPEAKER_02: No, it was it's that's very fucking humbling, actually, because you're in a room full of like 40 or 50 strangers.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: You've just had your head shaved, you're in front of a doctor, and you've dropped your cacks three hours ago.
42:37
SPEAKER_02: You were on the train to Wendover.
42:39
SPEAKER_02: Now you stood with your bollocks out somewhere in cuts.
42:41
SPEAKER_03: All of you are there with your pants down, waiting for the doctor to just go back.
42:45
SPEAKER_02: But it is like a little curtain.
42:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
42:46
SPEAKER_02: It's not like out in the open, but so you're in a queue and you know that behind the curtain.
42:51
SPEAKER_03: You go.
42:52
SPEAKER_03: Dave's having his balls.
42:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
42:54
SPEAKER_02: There's some cupping action.
42:55
SPEAKER_02: It is to check the move up and down or something, and I'm sure there's a torsion.
43:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:01
SPEAKER_03: So, um, what's the other thing I was going to ask?
43:03
SPEAKER_03: So can you hear what's being said on the other side of the curtain?
43:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:06
SPEAKER_03: Oh fuck.
43:07
SPEAKER_03: So did anybody get a funny reaction when they said cough?
43:10
SPEAKER_02: No.
43:11
SPEAKER_02: Like that.
43:11
SPEAKER_02: Honestly, right, you you're shitting yourself.
43:14
SPEAKER_02: It's all a bit like bewildering, you're like, I don't know what's going on.
43:17
SPEAKER_03: It'd be a blur, I suppose, wouldn't it?
43:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: So you just sort of go through because I mean it was what?
43:23
SPEAKER_02: 1999 when I joined up, so it was different.
43:26
SPEAKER_03: 27 years ago.
43:27
SPEAKER_03: Jesus.
43:28
SPEAKER_02: Yes, that makes me feel old.
43:30
SPEAKER_03: You are.
43:30
SPEAKER_02: Fuck off, I'm not.
43:32
SPEAKER_03: You're a little bit younger than me.
43:33
SPEAKER_03: Halfway.
43:34
SPEAKER_03: Just a little tad younger than me.
43:36
SPEAKER_02: But you just shit yourself because they shout at you and everything, and you're like, Yeah.
43:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, before you went down on the train, you were going, Mom, what's for tea?
43:45
SPEAKER_02: And then suddenly you're off the train, and some man's shouting at you to go over there.
43:49
SPEAKER_02: So you just do.
43:50
SPEAKER_03: It must be terrifying as a young man, really.
43:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was a little.
43:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:54
SPEAKER_02: Wasn't terrifying for long, though, it was alright after that.
43:57
SPEAKER_03: Well, I think once you've find your feet and you've got your mates and all that, you You know, but that first day and you're you're literally going behind the screen and some strangers feeling your balls and all that.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: It was horrible.
44:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't think I'd like that.
44:08
SPEAKER_02: I suppose don't think they shave your heads anymore either.
44:11
SPEAKER_03: No, you just threw that in for dramatic.
44:13
SPEAKER_03: No, because they did.
44:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
44:14
SPEAKER_02: No, we all had to Oh you actually Yeah, because you like you you got to sort of like spot people in the train station on the way down.
44:20
SPEAKER_02: There'd be kids with backpack suitcases.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: And you just you just looked and went, they're going as well.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: So then you get chatting to people and then you was in the waiting room and then you all went and got your head shaved and you didn't have a fucking clue who anyone was anymore.
44:33
SPEAKER_02: Because you had no hair.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: Because you had no hair, it would look different.
44:35
SPEAKER_03: It's amazing actually, isn't it, how your hair does identify you quickly.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:41
SPEAKER_02: It was weird.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: Anyway.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: But it was funny, I don't know.
44:43
SPEAKER_02: So back to the ice cream.
44:45
SPEAKER_03: Holding your tongue down as a humbler, yes.
44:46
SPEAKER_03: Putting it over your mouth on the flat side to shut them up or give them a just like if they're being a bit lippy and you've got it in your hand, you can just go shh.
44:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
44:56
SPEAKER_03: And you said hitting people.
44:57
SPEAKER_03: Hitting people.
44:58
SPEAKER_03: We've said uh a reach around, so balls.
45:00
SPEAKER_03: I would like I would tap and scrape.
45:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:04
SPEAKER_02: I reckon you could use that on the soles of people's feet as well.
45:07
SPEAKER_03: It's great for bastonado.
45:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:09
SPEAKER_03: Bastonado is foot torture.
45:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:12
SPEAKER_03: Brilliant for that.
45:13
SPEAKER_03: If you think about if you've ever been the doctors and they've used a like a some kind of a pokey stick and go up the sole of your fuss and your feet do that.
45:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:22
SPEAKER_03: Your toes do that.
45:23
SPEAKER_03: Um, well, I love doing that with that.
45:25
SPEAKER_02: I remember our friend, I don't know if we can say his name.
45:29
SPEAKER_03: Well, just let talk about it anyway.
45:31
SPEAKER_03: I'll I'll think of it.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: He used to love the bastardo stuff.
45:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:34
SPEAKER_02: And he was he he got a little bit too excited over that.
45:38
SPEAKER_03: Giving.
45:38
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
45:39
SPEAKER_03: Preston.
45:40
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
45:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's okay.
45:41
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Preston.
45:41
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Paul.
45:42
SPEAKER_02: I wasn't sure if we could or not.
45:44
SPEAKER_03: He's out, he's out.
45:46
SPEAKER_03: He comments and everything.
45:47
SPEAKER_03: He's fine.
45:47
SPEAKER_02: He used to love it, didn't he?
45:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he loves Bastonado.
45:50
SPEAKER_03: He's just you're an evil fuck, aren't you?
45:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:53
SPEAKER_03: Love you.
45:53
SPEAKER_02: He is a lovely lad.
45:54
SPEAKER_02: And I say hi Paul, yeah, I do.
45:56
SPEAKER_02: I think you're amazing.
45:57
SPEAKER_02: I've never called him Preston either.
45:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
45:59
SPEAKER_03: Well, I I actually didn't call him Preston for years, and he was like, nobody calls him by my first name.
46:04
SPEAKER_03: He'd always just call me Preston, so I've tried to remember.
46:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:08
SPEAKER_03: But he's an evil fuck just like me.
46:12
SPEAKER_02: But so nice with it.
46:14
SPEAKER_03: We all are.
46:15
SPEAKER_02: I know.
46:15
SPEAKER_03: You know, I give them hugs, chocolate, a drink, and say thank you afterwards.
46:19
SPEAKER_02: It's quite dynamic though, isn't it?
46:20
SPEAKER_02: It is, yeah, to me.
46:21
SPEAKER_02: You actually sit and look at things, what you could do with it.
46:23
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
46:25
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's a good ice scraper as well, to be honest.
46:27
SPEAKER_03: It is, yeah.
46:28
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's quite strong, isn't it?
46:29
SPEAKER_03: It's got to be because of the things that I'm doing.
46:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm not really scraping ice.
46:32
unknown: Okay.
46:32
SPEAKER_02: Are you going to demonstrate now?
46:33
SPEAKER_03: No, I'm not going to demonstrate on you, unless you want me to.
46:36
SPEAKER_02: I don't mind you, no, you can.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
46:38
SPEAKER_03: So you quite rightly, if somebody was just brassing and you just wanted to assert some authority, that isn't going to shut them up.
46:45
SPEAKER_03: But it's a very powerful if they went gab.
46:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:49
SPEAKER_02: It's the psychological side of I've just been shushed in.
46:52
SPEAKER_03: And I, at the same time, I'd be like that, and I'd I'd say something to them.
46:56
SPEAKER_03: I've had enough of your gob.
46:58
SPEAKER_03: Shut the fuck up.
47:00
SPEAKER_02: Because your lips are actually really sensitive as well.
47:02
SPEAKER_02: So that's their lips, then feeling that on them, feeling how hard that is, going, oh shit.
47:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
47:08
SPEAKER_03: So yes, with that.
47:10
SPEAKER_03: Definitely, you know, just normal whacking.
47:14
SPEAKER_03: Not too bad.
47:15
SPEAKER_03: It's alright, that would do.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: No, it's all right.
47:17
SPEAKER_03: It's alright, that's okay that.
47:19
SPEAKER_03: And the two different sides, I've got a slightly different sensation.
47:22
SPEAKER_03: But if I if I hit with the side that's slanty that you'd normally scrape with, I'd hit scrape.
47:29
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: So they're getting the initial slap and then the down the skin.
47:34
SPEAKER_03: If I'm feeling particularly county, and I think they can take it, I'll slap, turn on its edge and scrape.
47:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's gonna be smart.
47:42
SPEAKER_03: That is so slap, turn, scrape.
47:44
SPEAKER_03: So I'd do that.
47:46
SPEAKER_03: Um great for balls.
47:49
SPEAKER_03: So normally when I'm I'm seeing them with a guy, they'll have that legs open anyway, you know, standing up or whatever.
47:54
SPEAKER_03: There's a little reach around, just go to a because sometimes when you're reaching around, it's a bit cumbersome like a cane or whatever, you know, and they know what's coming.
48:02
SPEAKER_03: But just hold this in my hand, obviously, they're facing away from me.
48:05
SPEAKER_03: They don't know either.
48:05
SPEAKER_03: I don't really know, just like reaching, and it's like my hand, they can feel my hand, but they can't feel what's in it.
48:10
SPEAKER_02: And just go, it's a go-go gadget scraper.
48:12
SPEAKER_03: Exactly, go-go gadget scraper, yeah.
48:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, grace for that.
48:17
SPEAKER_03: Um, lovely on nipples for sensitive nipples.
48:21
SPEAKER_03: What would I do to make it even worse and better?
48:24
SPEAKER_02: Put it in the freezer.
48:25
SPEAKER_03: Yes, so you can make it cold.
48:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, obviously, you can't heat it up with plastic.
48:30
SPEAKER_03: No, it'll crack.
48:31
SPEAKER_03: Um, but you can make it cold.
48:32
SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't put it in the freezer as such, because it might it'd be like very, very cold to crack.
48:39
SPEAKER_02: Think about it, it's an ice scraper.
48:41
SPEAKER_02: But you should be able to take it.
48:42
SPEAKER_03: But I don't really want a frozen surface.
48:44
SPEAKER_02: And it's going to be cold on your hand as well.
48:46
SPEAKER_03: And the skin.
48:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:48
SPEAKER_03: So I'd probably put it in the fridge, or I'd just find a big glass and just stick it in some ice.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:53
SPEAKER_03: Um, and so a cold slap is really good, or curls on the balls and all that kind of thing.
48:58
SPEAKER_03: Quite rightly, you said about using that edge on the bottom of somebody's uh feast, bastonado.
49:03
SPEAKER_03: You see you can hit, scrape over the toes that way, it makes them go, or up the foot that way, it makes the as you do, the foot just does that.
49:11
SPEAKER_03: It's really, very funny.
49:12
SPEAKER_03: Um, you can use the other side as well if a bastonardo.
49:16
SPEAKER_03: That side you can just get, you know, it's a large surface area.
49:19
SPEAKER_03: If you want to be a little bit more um yeah, you want to get your aim better, you can use that side and get different parts of the foot rather than thank you.
49:28
SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to find the word.
49:30
SPEAKER_03: Um, I wouldn't generally insert this.
49:33
SPEAKER_03: I like the idea of what you said there about inserting off somebody's anus.
49:37
SPEAKER_03: So the scrapey bit is sticking out and then get them to scrape the ice.
49:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:41
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I like the sticky stuff off a surface.
49:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I don't think I'd want to stick that off somebody's ass.
49:47
SPEAKER_03: No.
49:48
SPEAKER_03: It's a bit it's not rounded, is it really?
49:50
SPEAKER_03: It's a half.
49:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:52
SPEAKER_02: You actually got another one with a round handle.
49:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:55
SPEAKER_03: Don't know.
49:56
SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
49:57
SPEAKER_03: Um, so yeah, there's all up with the temperature thing.
49:59
SPEAKER_03: This is really quite nice because it actually retains the coals for a little while longer than some of the other things that I've got.
50:05
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, you've got loads of different things that you can do with one simple ice scraper.
50:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:10
SPEAKER_03: And yet a lot of us have got them in our cars and stuff like that, haven't we?
50:14
SPEAKER_03: Just like BDSM on the go.
50:18
SPEAKER_02: So you're never too far away from a bit of BDSM.
50:21
SPEAKER_03: I'm not.
50:22
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, because I can I can make a hissy thing or a toy out of pretty much anything.
50:26
SPEAKER_03: Pretty much anything.
50:27
SPEAKER_03: I really can't.
50:28
SPEAKER_02: There are the magic tree flicking that thing.
50:31
SPEAKER_03: Right.
50:32
SPEAKER_02: My leg stings.
50:34
SPEAKER_03: Does it?
50:35
SPEAKER_03: It's not like a smart.
50:36
SPEAKER_02: It's like it's not a bad pain, but I can feel it.
50:40
unknown: Yeah.
50:41
SPEAKER_02: The blood rushing to the skin, innit?
50:43
SPEAKER_02: It's light.
50:44
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't even a hard smack or anything.
50:45
SPEAKER_03: It was just you know, it's a sort of smack.
50:48
SPEAKER_03: It's it's hard plastic.
50:50
SPEAKER_03: My hands are my palms are smart.
50:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
50:52
SPEAKER_03: It's just a hard plastic, it just gives like that little sting.
50:55
SPEAKER_02: It's like a lingering sensation.
50:57
SPEAKER_03: It's like just a little smart, isn't it?
50:58
SPEAKER_03: Where you've been hit.
51:00
SPEAKER_03: Right, so this is where I need to start looking at my screen, and I'm really sorry in advance that I'm having to look at my screen.
51:07
SPEAKER_02: We'll just chat amongst ourselves, yeah.
51:11
SPEAKER_03: A little bit so we can see a bit better.
51:14
SPEAKER_03: So, um, I wanted to talk a little bit more about swinging.
51:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
51:19
SPEAKER_03: Because we've brought it up loads.
51:21
SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, people have done lazy lobotomies and stuff like that.
51:24
SPEAKER_03: But I haven't really talked about why.
51:29
SPEAKER_03: So we're gonna cut part one there, folks.
51:31
SPEAKER_03: So don't forget to join us for part two.
51:34
SPEAKER_03: It's worth the wait.