Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / New Year's Resolutions | The Christian Reeve Podcast #343

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New Year's Resolutions | The Christian Reeve Podcast #343 · The Christian Reeve Podcast

0:00
OK, hello and welcome back to the Christian Reef Podcast.
0:07
Happy New Year. It is now 2026.
0:11
Yes, I know I'm a few days into it, or five days to be precise.
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I don't know if I necessarily will reduce release the show
0:21
today. I might, I might not.
0:23
Who knows, maybe it'll be in a few days from now.
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In any case, I am rambling. Here we are.
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It's the new year, new year, new me.
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Absolute cringe. I mean, a lot's changed in my
0:39
life, but still, I'd, I've always found that notion to just
0:44
be absolutely cringe worthy only only because, and we'll, we'll
0:52
get into this in today's show, but it's just trend hopping,
0:56
isn't it? And every year with New Year's,
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it's the same BS every single time, every single time.
1:04
But I thought what might be fun is today we'll kind of look at
1:09
the good and the bad of New Year's resolutions and also a
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little bit of just a little bit of history as well.
1:15
I was quite surprised by this. And I think you'll maybe learn
1:19
something too. So let's jump into it.
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New Year's resolutions, the history of New Year's
1:26
resolutions. I got this particular
1:28
information from history.com, so you can go on there and find a
1:33
lot of stuff on there about history.
1:36
Imagine that. So the history of New Year's
1:40
resolutions dates back to the ancient Babylonians, who were
1:45
among the first civilizations to have a record of a New Year
1:49
celebration still celebrated today.
1:52
But of course, records of Akitu can date the celebration back
1:58
over 4000 years. While Akitu can roughly be
2:03
translated from Sumerian to Bali, the festival didn't just
2:08
observe the sowing of the first crop of the new year, it served
2:12
a far more politically important purpose, coinciding with
2:16
mythical sky God Mardux. That sounds like a character of
2:21
Skyrim. Victory over the sea God TMA.
2:24
I know that because I've just been playing Skyrim lately.
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Akitu was the time of the year when a new king would be crowned
2:32
by the high priest, or the current Regent would humble
2:36
themselves before the gods to symbiolically, symbolically
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symbiol. Why the fuck am I just do you
2:42
know what? I've just been doing lots of
2:46
voice stuff this morning so my voice is like.
2:52
The current region would humble themselves before the gods to
2:55
symbolically renew their rule for another year.
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The festival was celebrated over 12 days, with different
3:02
traditions and events throughout it's duration.
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Observations ranged from special prayers and times of reflection
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to communal feasts and even a bizarre display where the high
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priest would slap the king to show his humility before the
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gods. Bitch are so random.
3:25
OK because I always like skim read these before I like put
3:30
them into my shows but I didn't read that specific line.
3:33
It's just bitch slap the king. I can just see that going
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really, really badly. I will say that I'm a little bit
3:43
disappointed that this doesn't really kind of delve into, you
3:49
know, New Year's resolutions. It tells us about celebrating
3:52
New Year's celebrations, but not the history of New Year's
3:57
resolutions, which kind of sucks a little bit, but at least we
4:02
know. I mean, from what I can sort of
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gather from this, it's there's probably always been some kind
4:08
of form of resolutions. But obviously back in those days
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it would have related more to survival as opposed to, you
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know, these days it's like, oh, I'm going to drink a little bit
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less. Oh, I'm going to go to the gym.
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And like, yeah, these things are related to your lifestyle and
4:24
how you live, but they're a bit more, I don't know, It's, it's
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less about pure survival and more about kind of aesthetic
4:33
things or spiritual things or or whatever.
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Whereas this in the past almost kind of implies the their focus
4:44
was, you know, like, oh, OK, like we survived this year.
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What can we do better to survive next year kind of vibes maybe.
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I don't know. I'm theorizing based on the
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information that's there. In any case, I'll give you a
4:56
little bit of an update on where I'm at and also my New Year's
5:04
resolutions, which I never do ever, but I do kind of set
5:08
myself goals for the year. I don't know if that's really
5:10
the same like I, I guess I don't believe in New Year's
5:16
resolutions in that like I'm like, oh, I'm definitely going
5:19
to achieve this this year. I'm going to hold myself
5:21
accountable. Like I just don't think that
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humans are like that. Like it's really hard to 100%
5:29
stick to a goal for an entire year.
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It's not to say it's not possible, people do it all the
5:34
time. It's just that I think, I think
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that it works better when you kind of ease yourself into
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things step by step. You know, I've always felt that
5:45
that works better. Like if you're going to quit
5:46
smoking, for example, they say it's always a bit better to just
5:50
kind of cut down and then quit as opposed to just quitting cold
5:55
Turkey. You know, it's because it's,
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it's such a huge change and it's a huge habit to break.
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You know, with smokers, you always hear about how they're
6:11
trying to do something like replace it with something else
6:16
like eating or chewing, chewing gum and stuff like that.
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Like just kind of the, the regularity of, of going out and
6:25
having a cigarette, the habit of doing that, you know, needs to
6:29
be replaced with something else for some people.
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And we also know that obviously human beings have an addictive
6:35
personality. So it's, you know, it's going to
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be quite common that you struggle to, to give things up,
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especially if you try and do it cold Turkey, you know.
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Anyways, I thought I would tell you about kind of my thoughts at
6:55
the moment and where I'm headed. So ageing has been on my mind a
7:00
lot lately and ageing in a strange way, because obviously
7:05
look, I'm 32, you know, I'm no spring chicken, but I'm also not
7:09
an ancient old man either. You look different, you feel
7:13
different, right? But I have the unique kind of
7:20
edition of having a couple of conditions.
7:23
So and I'll be covering this in a future show.
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So the beginning of last year, I started obviously getting a
7:34
white eyelash and it was pretty crazy when it first happened.
7:41
And then, you know, I, at the advice of those around me, I
7:45
obviously went to the doctors to get it checked out and nothing
7:49
could be found, like no underlying health conditions or
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anything. It was just one of those like
7:55
crazy things. But I did some digging.
7:58
I looked into it and obviously, as I mentioned, we'll be doing a
8:02
show on the two conditions that I have, which is vitiligo and
8:07
poliosis. We'll be deep diving into that.
8:12
But basically what it's meant is that I have this white eyelash.
8:17
I've been growing a lot more white hair in general, which I
8:21
started getting around the age of like 2122 and I started
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getting a bunch last the beginning of last year and then
8:29
obviously more recently. And the best answer I've
8:35
received as far as like what it could be, because I've not been
8:38
given anything definitive and I've had to kind of do this on
8:41
my own because GPS have been just not helpful at all.
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What I can see is it's stress induced poliosis and vitiligo.
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And from the research that I've done, it kind of appears that
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these conditions are genetic. And I know that I have someone
9:01
in my family distantly who had vitiligo.
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So that's the link there. And often these conditions can
9:08
lay dormant. They may never show up, but
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other times they might show up at birth in the form of a
9:16
birthmark. Or, you know, sometimes with
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people with vitiligo, you see, like they have what's called, I
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think it's non segmental vitiligo, which means it's like
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everywhere as opposed to like one part of your body or certain
9:34
parts of your body. In any case, it's it can come
9:41
out as a result of something. So mine was stress induced.
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That's what brought on my vitiligo and poliosis like, and
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you often hear about this happening, say with people with
9:53
alopecia, stress can, you know, push that along And some people
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like lose their hair for good, Other people lose it for a bit,
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then it grows back, then it comes out.
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And it's very often tied to things like stress.
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And obviously that the answer to that is, oh, Christian, why are
10:12
you so stressed? Why don't you just chill out?
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And it's like, if you live my life for five seconds, you get
10:19
it. But I have kind of looked at
10:22
that and thought, you know what? There is little things I can do
10:27
to change that. Ultimately, the big thing is
10:31
that I'm not happy with where my life is.
10:35
Last year was one of the hardest years of my life for quite some
10:39
time. It wasn't all terrible, but when
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you look at the overall and what I was dealing, dealing with
10:46
day-to-day it, it just got pretty ridiculous after a while.
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And there's no wonder I was stressed.
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I mean, I've towards the end of that year, I, I just kind of
10:58
mentally checked out and I was just trying to survive.
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I was like, I just have to get to the end and then I'll be able
11:03
to rest and then figure it out in the new year.
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And I, you know, I had like 9 days of just being with my
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partner and just kind of recovering I guess, you know,
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just like first it was recovery, you know, and then I got sick of
11:24
course, but that showed me like how worn down my body was and
11:29
just everything. But I can't tell you, like, how
11:33
relaxed I felt afterwards. Like I feel really relaxed
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coming to this new year. I've already had a day back at
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work and, you know, it was a crazy day and, you know, I've
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been really busy with creative work.
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But I feel good. And I think that a big thing
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that I've changed is how I approach just my time.
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I guess I don't punish myself for not being as constructive,
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but I do kind of recognise that some days you need to push
12:08
yourself. If you've got it in, you push
12:10
hard, get as much as you can done.
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And on the days when you've not got as much, just get a bit done
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so that something got done. And you know, that's the key
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thing is, is that consistency across time.
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You know, not every day is going to be just like an absolute
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success. There's going to be days where
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you just get not much done or even just like days where you
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just have to rest. So I'm trying to kind of get
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into that swing of things and make that my new approach.
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But other things I'm trying to do are eliminate just like
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regular drinking. I want to try to reduce that to
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kind of once a week type deal coming off of a productive week.
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You know, I think that's much better and much healthier than
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say drinking most nights because I, I wasn't like getting drunk
13:09
or anything, but it's just a bad habit I picked up because
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especially in the last 3-4 months of last year, it was just
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like, kind of like a release thing.
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And I understand now like how easily people fall into that.
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You know, like, oh, I'll just have a glass of wine with
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dinner. Oh, I'll just have a few cans
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after work. Like it's crazy how that creeps
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up on you and before you know it, you're doing it most nights.
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And I was like, wow, it's kind of crazy because it's the
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convenience factor as well. You come home, you're knackered.
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I know I'm going to stay up a few hours anyway because I I'm
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not one of those people that can immediately go to bed.
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I don't know how people can do that off the back of a day of
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work. Like I need time to rest and
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wind down so that my mind enables me to actually relax
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before I can do stuff like that. But anyway, that's the key is to
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reduce that habit and also just unnecessary spending in general,
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try to be more productive with my time and and look at like
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what are the main things that have been achieved every single
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day? So for example, today the, I
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suppose the biggest one would be I got this podcast recorded and
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I also I'm on top of my emails and just like my admin stuff and
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I got a few auditions done. So like, you know, if I didn't
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do anything else for the rest of the day, now I've at least
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achieved those things. And then say the morning of
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tomorrow, I can get more done before I go to work.
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Just things, things like that. Like I, I always feel better
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when I know I've gotten things accomplished as opposed to days
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where, you know, I just went to work, got home, just play games,
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you know, I've got nothing creative done and I'm miserable
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kind of thing. I really, I suppose this would
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define a resolution, but it's, it's like a, it's more of a long
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term goal rather than like, I need to achieve this in 2026.
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But what I really want to do is predominantly earn money from
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creative jobs. That's been my, one of my goals,
15:25
if not the main goal for such a long time now because I'm just
15:30
kind of sick of doing customer service jobs.
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I'm too old for it. I'm, you know, I've done like 11
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years combined in customer service.
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You know, I did a bunch of years in marketing and sales and
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stuff, but I just, I don't want to do these jobs anymore.
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I never wanted to in the first place.
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I'm just kind of fed up, you know?
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I know exactly what I want to do with my life, you know?
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I want to do music, I want to do acting.
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I want to do content creation for a living, you know, I want
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to do this for a living. It's the only things in my life
16:03
that feel right, you know? The rest of the jobs just feel
16:06
like things I have to do and force myself to do and there's
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no then see, that's another thing as well.
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I think sometimes people look at it like, well, can't you find
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something positive in those jobs that you have to do?
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And I'm like, no, like I've found everything that is
16:22
positive, but most of it is just pushing yourself in something
16:26
that you hate. And of course, you know, a lot
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of people don't get it and, and their response will just be
16:32
like, why don't you just do something you love?
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And it's like you try doing that, pal.
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It's not that simple. You know nothing in life is
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simple, at least where it when it when it pertains to pursuing
16:45
your dreams. I think other things are simple.
16:47
But when it comes down to chasing your dreams and trying
16:51
to create a life for yourself that is yours and is what you
16:56
want and not someone else's recommendation or vision of what
17:01
your life should be, it's really difficult to achieve that.
17:06
And it takes time. I mean, this is now year 7 of me
17:10
pursuing these creative goals. And who knows if it will work
17:14
this year, a year from now, two years from now.
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I don't know. I'm tired of of even thinking
17:21
about that anymore. I'm just focused on trying to
17:25
make things happen and trying to be the best that I can be and I
17:29
guess earn it, deserve it. I don't know, maybe maybe I just
17:32
don't deserve to be successful yet.
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Maybe that's the issue. Maybe I thought I was, I thought
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I was good enough and there's still more work to be done.
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I don't know. But I try to make the most out
17:43
of what is. I try to be grateful for the few
17:46
things I do have. Just keep trying, you know?
17:52
Moving on. I have the goal of releasing new
17:55
music this year. I have about 6 songs in
18:00
production, so they're done, they're recorded, they just need
18:03
to be produced and I'm waiting on my producer to do that.
18:06
And then once I'm happy with them, we can sign them off, get
18:09
them released. I also plan on recording new
18:12
music this year in addition to that.
18:16
So basically just like a couple of EPS, some singles, and then
18:21
I'm also writing my next album very slowly.
18:24
I'm, I'm kind of putting together some ideas.
18:27
There's a lot of ideas in the works.
18:29
I don't, I don't know what it's all going to end up being, but
18:32
there's a lot, there is a lot. And I don't know it's, it's
18:38
exciting what could come of all of this, but guess we'll have to
18:43
see. Moving on, let's jump into New
18:47
Year's resolutions in general. Question #1 why do you think New
18:53
Year's resolutions are so popular if so many people
18:56
abandoned them? It's like I said earlier, it's
18:59
all about trend setting and people jumping on the bandwagon.
19:04
You know, it's like, I always think of like popular TV shows.
19:09
Everyone's like, oh, have you not seen this show yet?
19:11
Everyone's talking about it, everyone's watching it.
19:14
And it's like sometimes that can actually be the thing that puts
19:17
me off doing that. You know, some of them I get
19:24
like, you know, you want to start the year off right, get a
19:27
gym membership. But so many people start these
19:30
things and then after like a few months give up because they had
19:34
no intention in the 1st place of actually seeing it through, you
19:38
know? And it's consistency, you know
19:40
that. I mean, when I was training for
19:44
about a couple of years, like there were days when I really
19:47
didn't want to go. And those were the main days
19:49
that you really had to push yourself to go.
19:51
And afterwards, you felt really rewarded because you'd you'd
19:56
pushed yourself and gotten the most out of yourself.
19:58
And yeah, maybe it's not the best session ever.
20:01
I mean, it's hard to tell. But some of those sessions were.
20:04
And I remember talking to personal trainers about this and
20:08
and they said that a lot of these things are cyclical.
20:10
Like it was a guy I knew who'd been training for six years.
20:15
On and off and there's times he didn't train at all and then he
20:17
came back to it and and he loves training like it's, it's his
20:21
real passion in life. But he kind of made it clear to
20:24
me that like these things don't have to be like something you're
20:29
constantly doing all the time. You're allowed to take breaks,
20:33
you're allowed to come back to things.
20:36
You know, for example, I took a little break from acting, mostly
20:42
because I had to because life was just pushing me in a
20:45
direction where I simply didn't have time to pursue it.
20:49
But I still in the background was putting together plans to
20:53
get back into it. You know, I was still doing
20:55
voice acting. I was still talking with people
21:00
and, and such and still doing things outside of that sphere.
21:03
And then the minute that I had control again, boom, cut my
21:06
hair, got my photos done, got my all my my show reel re uploaded.
21:13
I'm sending out emails again. I'm looking for an agent.
21:16
We're back in the game, baby. Like it's, it's, it's one of
21:19
those like it's OK to take a step back to then take a step
21:23
forward again, in my humble opinion.
21:26
But to answer this question in general, I think that it's a
21:29
lack of consistency. And I also think laziness.
21:33
So many people are just lazy and they just can't be bothered and
21:37
they never really wanted it in the first place.
21:40
I mean, look, I've been pursuing these goals right now for seven
21:44
years. This is my second time pursuing
21:46
music. You know, when I pursued music
21:49
the first time, I pursued it just as hard.
21:52
If you really want something in life, you will sacrifice for it
21:57
and your push, and sometimes it's really going to suck and
22:00
there'll be more rejections and more failures than successes,
22:04
but that's what makes the successes all the more
22:06
rewarding. I mean, for example, there was a
22:09
point in time when the concept of releasing an album for me was
22:14
completely out of the question, like pipe dream and here we are.
22:19
What was it like four or five years later and I, I've already
22:22
released a debut album and I'm now I'm talking about releasing
22:26
some EPS and doing my second record.
22:28
Like everything starts with an idea and then becomes reality.
22:35
Once you decide, it can become a reality.
22:38
And once you decide, you know what, it's no longer a pipe
22:41
dream. It's a case of how and when.
22:45
That's the key question #2 do you agree that resolutions are a
22:50
waste of time or just poorly designed?
22:54
You know, it's mixed feelings. Resolutions as a concept are not
22:58
a bad idea. I believe in the kind of the
23:03
Japanese concept of continuous growth, continuous improvement,
23:07
Sorry, to be specific. And I, I think it's relative in
23:14
everyone's life. Like you don't have to wait
23:17
until the beginning of a year to, you know, change something
23:21
about your life now, if you've decided that's the point when
23:24
you want to start, you know, when it makes sense.
23:27
I get it. Like it makes sense in in, in
23:30
the terms of like how the year kind of winds down to an end.
23:34
Everything goes quiet around Christmas, New Year's and
23:37
there's time to reflect and wind down and re energize and rest.
23:41
So it makes sense that you would then jump into the new year with
23:45
a sort of a new lease of life. You know, that's exactly what
23:48
I've done. It's a bit slower than I
23:51
anticipated, but then it's like sub 0 outside and it's middle of
23:56
winter and it's so you just do what you can.
24:01
But I, I don't know, I think I guess this all comes down to
24:04
like accountability, human beings holding themselves
24:08
accountable and being consistent, like I said before.
24:13
So no, they're not a waste of time.
24:16
I just think human beings need to be more consistent with their
24:20
resolutions. Maybe, maybe, maybe the word has
24:23
become tainted because people are not consistent with their
24:27
resolutions. But then some people pull it out
24:29
the parking and put it off. You know, some people are the
24:32
exception to the rule. So there you go question #3 what
24:37
is tying goals to a specific date?
24:40
Also, why is tying goals to a specific date a flawed concept?
24:45
Like I said, because you can start new goals at any time.
24:48
You don't need permission. You know, it's you can any, any
24:52
time you do it right now if you want.
24:54
You know who, who cares who's who's there telling you you have
24:57
to do otherwise. You know, it's not necessarily a
25:01
bad thing to, to tie it to a specific goal because it can
25:05
give you something to work towards.
25:09
I think it's just this, this key of, of like, don't limit
25:12
yourself to a specific time frame, you know, if you feel you
25:17
want to change something, change it, you know?
25:19
Oh OK it's the 17th now, but I should wait until the 1st of the
25:23
month. No, just do it now.
25:24
Fuck it. You know, maybe it'll feel weird
25:26
but hey, like, like you've started now, you can track it
25:30
from now, you know? Why not?
25:35
Question #4 Are people more likely to fail because of the
25:39
resolution itself or because of unrealistic expectations?
25:44
I, I think the, the question answers it right in of itself.
25:48
There unrealistic expectations, of course, many, I, I heard
25:52
someone talk about this the other day and I think it's spot
25:54
on. With New Year's resolutions,
25:56
people often set big, big goals. Like OK, for instance, if it was
26:02
me and I was setting an unrealistic expectation this
26:05
year, it would be something like I want to be a Hollywood actor.
26:10
And it's like that can that contain a lifetime that can,
26:14
there's so many factors involved in that, you know, it's, and it
26:18
is unrealistic, not to say that I, I couldn't do it or someone
26:22
else couldn't do it, but it's unrealistic in the sense that
26:25
like these things don't happen overnight.
26:28
It's stepping stones. It's a certain bit of luck.
26:33
It's progress over time, all these different factors falling
26:37
into place to lead you to that one opportunity where it becomes
26:41
a reality, right? I think people set these big,
26:46
big goals and then are disappointed at the end of the
26:48
year because it's like like, OK, let's imagine, let's take that
26:51
goal as an example. You want to be a Hollywood
26:53
actor, right? And you set that goal as your
26:56
New Year's resolution. So if you get to the end of that
26:59
year and you're not a Hollywood actor, have you then failed that
27:04
goal? I would disagree with that
27:09
notion because if you've made any progress towards that goal
27:13
within that year, who's to say you couldn't achieve that goal
27:18
in the next year or the year after that?
27:20
Maybe all of the things you're doing now are setting up that
27:24
reality, you know, that goal being realised.
27:29
I think people get too hung up on time.
27:32
And I understand, like, look, time is limited.
27:35
Time is of the essence. It's, it's the one thing we
27:37
always lose and never gain. Like, I do understand.
27:40
I do get it. But at the same time, things
27:43
take time. And in this day and age, we're
27:46
in such a rush. Everyone's in a rush to grow up.
27:49
Everyone's in a rush to just get to the next thing.
27:51
No one's really sick. Like sitting in the moment,
27:54
living in the moment. And there are people, you know,
27:57
I shout it all the time to the rooftops, like live in the
27:59
moment, live in the moment. And people think you're just
28:01
this airhead is like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:04
Well, you know, you need to get, get with a program.
28:07
But bro, like, come on and say no, no, no, no.
28:09
That is the program. That is the point.
28:12
You know, when you're in a deathbed, you're not going to
28:16
think about like, oh, you know, I wish I'd spent more time
28:18
working. I wish I'd spent more time
28:21
earning. I wish I'd earned more money.
28:23
Like, who the fuck cares? You know?
28:26
Like, did you achieve the things you wanted to achieve?
28:28
Did you make the most out of your time?
28:31
You know, like I was, I was reviewing skill sets earlier
28:36
because I was applying for an agency, an acting agency, and
28:43
you had to input all of the skills that you have and like
28:47
the different things you could do, right?
28:50
And it kind of dawned on me as I was doing that, that I've
28:53
experienced so many different things through taking on
28:57
different jobs, through just studying, trying different
29:02
things in life. It, it, it made me realise like
29:06
I've experienced so much in life already.
29:10
And I have all this experience and all these skill sets that I
29:13
never would have had if I, I didn't like throw myself out
29:16
there and try, you know, it never would have happened.
29:20
And yet here we are. And I'm 32 and I have just as
29:25
much motivation as when I started.
29:28
But now there's the wisdom, now there's applying experience to
29:31
reality. There's looking at things with a
29:35
fresh set of eyes, you know, like approaching it a bit
29:37
differently, but still having that excitement of that kind of
29:43
childhood excitement of, oh, where could this go?
29:45
Where should we take this next? Like, I'm not afraid to take
29:47
risks. And the older I get, the more
29:50
people say like, oh, what if it doesn't work out?
29:52
What if, you know, like you just, you're miserable.
29:56
Like, you know, it never works out.
29:57
Don't you think you should get a real job, blah, blah, blah,
29:59
blah. Like I've heard this stuff since
30:01
I was a kid and it's tiresome. I'm never going to listen to you
30:05
people ever. I don't care because even if I
30:09
did get to the end of my road and I was like a failure, I'd
30:17
look back at everything I did all over the years and be like,
30:20
you know what? It was a road worth travelling.
30:24
Because look at all this experience I had.
30:27
Look at how much I made out of life.
30:31
I never would have done that had I just sat in a little job that
30:35
I hated and it, you know, just it accepted this idea that
30:40
chasing your dreams is, is like a fallacy is, is like a bad
30:46
idea. I will never believe that.
30:48
You know, I don't care if people want to call me stubborn or
30:51
people want to call me a airhead or say I have my head in the
30:53
clouds. At the end of the day, they're
30:56
not experiencing what I'm experiencing.
30:57
They haven't experienced what I've experienced.
31:00
They haven't seen what I've seen and they never will because they
31:04
never took the risk themselves. They were too afraid to go out
31:09
there and really make the most of life.
31:12
And that's the reality. The more you're prepared to do
31:14
that, the more crazy things you experience in life and the more
31:19
you grow as an individual and the more you have to give to
31:23
those around you, to your loved ones.
31:25
You know, I'm starting to reach the age now where I'm like, hey,
31:28
maybe I'll be a husband, maybe I'll be a father.
31:31
And if that happens, look at this experience I have.
31:34
Look at these lessons I can teach.
31:37
I sure as hell wouldn't have learned any of that stuff if I
31:39
had stayed in a crappy desk job that I hated and just was bitter
31:44
at the world and thought, Oh yeah, I could have been a
31:46
contender. I could have been somebody like,
31:51
no, I'll always be the guy to tell you to chase your dreams.
31:53
I don't care. Whatever it takes, man.
31:55
Just go out there, chase your dreams because that very notion
32:00
in of itself will push you to be a better human being.
32:03
So there it is. Maybe that went off on a
32:06
tangent, I don't know. I apologise.
32:08
No, I don't apologise, fuck it. Question #5 how does the fresh
32:14
start mindset help or hurt motivation?
32:17
I don't think it can ever hurt your motivation.
32:22
It's just, it's just ideal isn't it?
32:24
To to be in this mindset of what was before no longer matters.
32:30
What matters is this moment. Fresh start, fresh canvas.
32:34
Let's try again. That's how I'm looking at right
32:37
now. Like I'm not looking at what
32:38
happened last year or the year before.
32:40
I'm like, OK, what about right this second?
32:42
What have I done? What am I achieving?
32:44
What am I setting myself up for? Like I look at this month right
32:48
now, I am so busy with the podcast, with acting, with just
32:55
setting things up and it's exciting and it's motivating and
33:00
I, I'm just like, oh, what's next?
33:02
You know, like what's next, What's next?
33:03
I'm just, I'm buried in the work.
33:05
I'm invested in the work and that's motivating in of itself.
33:11
So I think always subscribe to the fresh start mindset, I
33:16
think, and, you know, leave the past where it belongs, you know,
33:19
unless you really need to do some soul searching and, and
33:22
think about some things that have happened and spend some
33:24
time with that. Like I, I understand the
33:26
importance of that, but as far as it pertains to moving
33:31
forward, live in the fresh start mindset.
33:35
I completely, I'm on board with that.
33:38
Question number six, does publicising resolutions, posting
33:42
them online, telling friends actually increase
33:44
accountability? I think it depends on who's
33:47
around you. I mean, let's be real, if you've
33:50
got friends around you that are invested in you and are pushing
33:55
you, that'll hold you accountable when you're out with
33:58
them, when you know they see you, they hear you talk or
34:02
whatever, like they're going to hold you accountable.
34:04
Many other people won't. I've always thought with certain
34:12
things, especially if there's a lot of, let's say you're doing
34:16
like a like a weight loss goal, right?
34:20
And you've got people invested in you doing that, strangers
34:23
even. And a lot of them, you're going
34:25
to feel the pressure of it. And, you know, that can
34:27
backfire. And for certain people, that can
34:29
be maybe a detriment. But I think for a lot more
34:32
people, it's motivating. It's like, Oh yeah, you know,
34:36
they believe in me. I believe I can do this.
34:38
I don't want to let them down. I don't want to let myself down.
34:41
And maybe that pressure can be a bad thing, but I understand
34:44
sometimes it can, it can be a negative thing as well.
34:49
So answer the question, Christian.
34:51
I yes, I think it, it does increase accountability for the
34:55
most part. Question #7 What alternatives
35:00
does the podcast suggest instead of New Year's resolutions?
35:09
Well, I guess my whole point was to set yourself smaller goals,
35:13
which, you know, it has nothing really to do with resolutions.
35:16
I think just as a concept in general, set yourself small
35:20
goals that lead to the bigger goals.
35:23
That's really what I'm trying to illustrate.
35:26
That's my point with this is build over time.
35:32
Set those little goals over time and and do them one by one.
35:36
Like so for example, right now you know, what have I achieved?
35:40
OK, so I got my photos on my website.
35:44
I got my photos on all my profiles.
35:46
I've updated my profiles. I'm still in in the process of
35:49
updating them all, but they're updated.
35:53
I'm back on this website called Spotlight for acting.
35:57
I've chased up for music. So I know that there'll be a
36:01
rough date for that for when that happens.
36:05
A few different things really, you know, just chasing up on
36:11
these little things and, and making sure every day there's
36:14
progress, like I mentioned earlier, just continuous
36:18
progress I think is a better idea than just setting these
36:23
grandiose resolutions, these grandiose statements, which, you
36:26
know, if you fail one of them, it can feel like a really big
36:30
deal, you know, and, and maybe that might demotivate you to the
36:34
point where you don't want to do anything.
36:35
And I think that's the worst kind of place you could fall
36:39
into. And I don't want anyone to fall
36:41
into that space, you know? Are habits, systems or routines
36:47
more effective than goal based resolutions and why?
36:51
I mean, that's kind of what I'm saying.
36:56
You know, it's like that old thing where they say, they talk
36:58
about it takes 30 days to build a habit or whatever.
37:03
I think you have to let things breathe.
37:05
You know, systems can. I mean, I suppose this really
37:10
comes down to like how you work as a human being.
37:14
You know, if you find things that work for you, stick to
37:17
that. Like if you look at gym and
37:19
working out, one person's routine would work for one
37:24
person, but just would be totally ineffective for another.
37:27
Because the way we train and what our bodies need is
37:30
different. Dietary requirements are
37:34
different, energy, our bodies, how physicality, everything is
37:39
different. So I, I guess it's more about
37:42
finding what's most effective for you individually and running
37:47
with that. How might focusing on small,
37:51
consistent changes work better than big yearly goals?
37:53
This is, it's all kind of the same ballpark really.
37:56
But I, I think the key, as I mentioned before, is just kind
38:00
of, I think it feels less overwhelming.
38:05
And that's, that's kind of my whole point.
38:07
If it's less overwhelming, you'll be more motivated to, to
38:12
achieve the goals. And then before you know it,
38:14
you've, you start achieving the bigger goals, you know, and you,
38:19
you might not even realise because you're so focused on
38:21
the, on the smaller things on the, the day-to-day that you're
38:24
like, boom, oh, wow, look at where we are now.
38:27
Look at how much we've achieved now, you know, to give you an
38:30
example, at the end of last year, I was really worried about
38:34
getting guests for the podcast. I was like, there was even a
38:38
sliver of a thought where I was like, should I end the podcast?
38:41
It's been five years. You know, the goal was always at
38:44
least get to 10 years. And, you know, I was really
38:48
downtrodden about it. You know, I felt like after 340
38:52
plus episodes and five years of doing the show, that it, it
38:56
wouldn't be this difficult to find guests or it wouldn't be a
38:59
problem. But, and then I was like, oh, is
39:02
it the end? And no, I just needed to give it
39:04
time. Now I'm booked up or like I'm,
39:09
I've got enough shows to to last me about 3 months.
39:12
You know, we're wide open for the rest of the year.
39:14
So if there's any people listening that want to be on the
39:17
show or have any recommendations for people they'd like to see on
39:22
the show, let me know. And of course, I'm always
39:25
reaching out to people and people occasionally reach out to
39:27
me And you know, it's, it's one of those continuous things.
39:31
But the point being that things can change, but sometimes you
39:37
have to let them breathe a little bit before they can
39:39
change. So that's a key in it, I guess.
39:46
Have you ever made a New Year's resolution?
39:47
What happened to it? Yeah, I've made plenty, and they
39:50
never worked out. And, you know, I don't punish
39:54
myself for it because, again, like I said earlier, they're
39:58
just grandiose. And I don't know.
40:04
I think there has to be a lot of existing motivation there that
40:12
that is completely unrelated to. The goals themselves, you know,
40:18
like for example, if it's a weight loss, one that would have
40:21
been something you're you're aiming to do for a long time,
40:25
you know what I mean? Or maybe better example is when
40:28
I got my haircut, I got my haircut like the first week of
40:31
December, I think something like that.
40:36
And or, or is like the sort of the end of November going into
40:39
early December, something like that.
40:41
Now, I thought about waiting until the new year, but like
40:45
there was just one day when I felt really just agitated and
40:48
I'm like, you know, it's time, I want to just get this done now.
40:53
And you know, it's funny, as soon as I decided that and I
40:56
started putting things into place, everything speed up like
41:00
that, like it was meant to happen at that time.
41:03
And even towards the end of the year there, I started getting
41:06
more kind of little opportunities coming in here and
41:08
there. And it felt like the year was
41:10
already beginning before it had begun.
41:12
So I don't think that this time scale factor is really
41:16
important. I think that instead of maybe
41:20
looking at New Year's resolutions, we should look at
41:22
periods of time, maybe even the, The Four Seasons, You know,
41:26
maybe it'd be better to to be like, right, what are the summer
41:28
goals? What are the winter goals?
41:29
What are the autumn goals? And approach it like that
41:33
because the seasons are what, like 3 months, four months or
41:35
something, give or take. Maybe there'd be a lot less
41:40
pressure if it was like that. Maybe, maybe that will be a lot
41:42
less daunting than an entire year, you know?
41:45
Because if you fail it like four months in, you're gutted because
41:49
it feels like all the pro progress you've made was for
41:52
nothing and you've let yourself down and the whole year is
41:55
ruined. But if it's like you only had
41:58
like 3-4 months to do it or two, three months, that's a lot more
42:02
achievable. And when you break it down, it's
42:04
like, oh, that's only like 60 days, 90 days.
42:07
I can, I can do that. I can do 20 more days.
42:09
You know, like when you look at it like that, I think it's a lot
42:12
easier to consume. And by that logic, I think
42:15
people would be much more motivated to approach those
42:19
goals and try to actually achieve them in theory.
42:26
Do you feel more motivated by long term goals or short term
42:28
progress? A lot of these questions are
42:30
just, yeah, they're very just kind of the same thing, aren't
42:33
they? I mean, it's, that's hard to say
42:43
really. I, I suppose long term because
42:51
they're more gratifying when you've achieved them because
42:53
you've been waiting for so long. But short term goals feel just
42:57
as good, just as gratifying short term progress.
43:00
Like, I mean, I think both, I don't know, it's kind of the
43:04
same. I, I think it depends on when
43:06
they happen and and what and what actually is being achieved.
43:12
Is there a better time of year for self improvement than
43:15
January the 1st? Now that's an interesting
43:18
question. Other than the the seasons thing
43:21
that I've pitched, would there be a better date?
43:25
Maybe April Fool's? Joke's on you pal, No.
43:34
I, I don't know, I, I think any time in, in, in, in winter is
43:41
generally good because things go quieter.
43:44
It gets really cold. Sometimes it's too cold to go
43:48
out and I think that it's a lot easier to get things done at a
43:52
time like that. You know, summer is busy, people
43:56
want to go out, you want to enjoy the sunshine.
43:57
You want, you know, it's, you're not as concerned with going to
44:01
the gym, for example, or working on things.
44:05
You want to kind of rest, enjoy the time, you know, and maybe
44:12
that's how things should work is in cycles, you know, cycles of
44:15
rest and play and then cycles of work and stuff as opposed to
44:19
just continuous never ending work with occasional breaks.
44:26
How does social media and cultural pressure influence the
44:29
way people make resolutions? I think negatively, I think
44:32
there's way too much societal pressure and social media
44:35
pressure and it's unrealistic and it doesn't show.
44:38
I mean, for all you know, those people could be lying about a
44:40
lot of those things. Like how do you know?
44:42
Do you see them every second of every day?
44:45
No, do you know what I mean? Like I've always been honest.
44:49
Like I set myself a goal of not drinking in January and I fucked
44:52
it up like 2 days in and I told my community like, yeah, you
44:56
know, I, I just didn't, didn't achieve that one.
44:58
But I'm not that bothered about it.
45:00
Like I'll achieve other goals, more important goals to me,
45:04
right? But I wasn't afraid to talk
45:07
about it. You know, I didn't feel pressure
45:09
because it's like if it, I think the most important thing is what
45:13
do you think? How do you feel?
45:16
You know, you shouldn't worry about social media.
45:18
Social media is a construct, it's a design.
45:20
It's, it's mostly bollocks. It's full of just AI slop crap
45:24
these days anyway. And you know, a lot of the
45:28
people that are making you feel bad, they're hypocrites or you
45:34
know, they only post the good stuff.
45:35
They never like put the important stuff, the progress,
45:39
the process. You know, like if you've been
45:41
following me for it for years and you see me achieving any
45:44
amount of success, you will have seen the good, the bad, the
45:48
ugly. You will have seen the whole
45:50
journey. You will understand why it's so
45:53
gratifying and why it means so much.
45:55
And it'll be maybe even gratifying for you too, to have
45:59
seen that and to have seen it play out.
46:02
You know, because I never wanted to hide that.
46:06
I think that by trying to hide the bad things in life and
46:10
trying to hide progress and stuff like that, you're hiding
46:13
humanity. You're hiding the reality of it.
46:16
And, you know, the reality is people mostly don't care about
46:20
the journey. They don't care about people
46:21
when they're trying. They care about people that have
46:23
succeeded. You know, like when all the
46:26
people come out and go, oh, I always believed in you.
46:28
Did you? Where were you?
46:29
Where were you when I needed belief?
46:31
You know, I know that when I eventually achieved my goals,
46:35
the people I'm going to care about are the ones that we're
46:37
here from day one, that we're always by my side.
46:40
You know, those people you pay attention to, the people that
46:43
helped you out, people that gave you a chance.
46:45
Like you don't pay attention to these people that just came out
46:47
of the woodwork out of nowhere who just didn't care because all
46:50
they care about is, you know, this the the ending, the, you
46:56
know, the party at the end. Like, screw them, man.
47:02
Do resolutions create unnecessary guilt or shame when
47:06
people don't stick to them? Yeah, I, I think I've kind of
47:09
outlined that earlier, but yes, they do.
47:14
I mean, like, let's say you've got a, a diet that you've
47:19
planned out, right? And on day 29, you fucked up and
47:22
you had something, who's to say you couldn't continue on that
47:25
diet? It's just one day.
47:27
It's just once. Keep going.
47:30
Fuck it. Don't let that be the end.
47:33
You know, I often think it's the people around you that that make
47:37
it worse. Like, oh, you've failed your
47:38
resolution. You've let yourself down.
47:40
No, I haven't. I made progress, meaningful
47:43
progress. Yeah.
47:49
I guess my whole point with this is we're approaching this all
47:52
wrong. That's that's my point.
47:56
Who benefits most from the idea of New Year's resolutions?
47:59
Individuals, companies or society, I mean, I've never
48:05
really seen companies run with it.
48:10
I suppose individuals really, because society will try and
48:13
make it into this, into this thing and and they'll, you know,
48:18
they'll mark, they'll, they'll make it into a marketing ploy
48:20
just like everything else in life.
48:21
But the individuals are the ones that really benefit because if
48:25
they succeed in a goal, then that's, that's the ultimate
48:32
achievement, isn't it? I did this and I did it over a
48:34
year, you know, I, I, I, and that's inspiring to other
48:38
people. If New Year's resolutions really
48:42
are a waste of time, what should people focus on instead?
48:46
If it wasn't clear before, I, I should hope it's clear now.
48:50
Continuous improvement, smaller goals over time, consistency,
48:56
these are the things that people should focus on.
48:59
Should we stop making resolutions altogether or just
49:02
rethink how we approach them? Again, the question has the
49:06
answer within it. My work here is done.
49:10
We rethink it, absolutely. We rethink how we approach New
49:14
Year's resolutions. And look, I'll leave you with
49:17
this, OK, If you do believe in New Year's resolutions, great.
49:22
I'm not saying that you shouldn't.
49:24
I'm saying do what works for you.
49:27
If you don't believe in them because people have made you
49:30
feel bad because when you tried to do them, it was not a success
49:33
or something, right? Approach things differently.
49:36
If it would work for you to do a New Year's resolution and to
49:40
stick to it for a year, then do that.
49:43
Do what works for you. That's the point.
49:47
I didn't realise that this show will become this today.
49:50
I wasn't really coming into this with the mindset of I'm going to
49:53
make a point, I'm going to make a statement, a really serious
49:56
statement about New Year's resolutions for some fucking
50:00
reason. I mean, I guess it's the first
50:03
show of the year and you want to start off on a on a good note, I
50:08
guess I had a few people say that my Christmas episode was a
50:12
bit miserable. I still tried to sprinkle that
50:15
with some positivity. Some people said I was the
50:17
Grinch. Vilma, I'm not the Grinch.
50:19
Come on. I just try to be real about
50:24
things, you know? I give you my honest opinion,
50:28
but I don't try to bury things, you know, like, like I said,
50:30
like if you believe in this, great.
50:33
Do what works for you. Here was my thoughts.
50:36
I hope you enjoyed them. I hope in some way they were
50:39
useful to you. I hope you enjoyed this show.
50:42
Let me know what else you would like me to hear.
50:45
Hear what? What else you would like to
50:47
hear. Don't matter what I hear, unless
50:49
that's important to you. I guess I don't know, I'm just
50:52
rambling now. If there's anything you want to
50:54
see on this show in the coming year, write to me, Message me,
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join the discord, let me know if there's any guests you would
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like to see on the show. Please let me know and I will
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get right on that. Thank you so much for watching
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and listening to the Christian Reef Podcast.
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Happy New Year everybody, and best of luck if you are pursuing
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some New Year's resolutions. All the best.