Latest / Just Julia / Why High-Achieving Women Fear Looking Inward

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Why High-Achieving Women Fear Looking Inward · Just Julia

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: So think about how we treat our careers, right?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: We treat them like these high stakes, super well-funded architectural projects.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: We hire consultants.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: We draw up these meticulous blueprints.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're just constantly optimizing.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: And we proudly show off all that scaffolding to, you know, anyone who will look.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Look at how hard I'm working.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Look at my progress.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: But then when it comes to our inner lives,
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: like our actual consciousness,
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: we treat it like this dusty,
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: totally neglected attic that we are just terrified to open.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: We really are.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: We just keep the door shut.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Firmly shut.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're terrified of what we might actually find in those boxes.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: So today we are diving into a piece of writing that asks
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: a very uncomfortable question about that attic.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's such a striking imbalance.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know,
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: it speaks so directly to the exhaustion that so many of these hyper independent,
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: highly capable women feel today because we are taught to be relentlessly curious
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: about how to improve our output.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like how to be the ultimate manager, the perfect mother.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: The indispensable friend.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: But the very moment we suggest stepping back to understand
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: the woman who's actually generating all that output,
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: the conversation gets really weird.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: It gets so weird.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's this profound fear of losing our,
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know,
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: our professional or societal edge, I guess, if we soften enough to just look inward.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that friction, that exact friction, is the beating heart of today's deep dive.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: We are exploring this brilliant Substack article by Julia Callas.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's called...
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: I am not becoming woo-woo.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I am becoming curious.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Such a great title.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: It really is.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: And just to set the stage for you listening, this isn't going to be like a lecture on mysticism.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: We aren't here to push a specific spiritual dogma on you.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, far from it.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: What makes Julia's perspective so compelling is just how grounded it is.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is a really rigorous exploration of self-awareness.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: It totally challenges that prevailing cultural narrative
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: that personal growth means you to constantly strive to fix yourself
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: or reinvent yourself into someone brand new.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Which is exhausting.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And she's proposing something much more radical,
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: that growth might just be becoming conscious of who you have always been.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: So she's getting ready to attend a Kundalini activation in Milan.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: And like literally any rational woman stepping into an unfamiliar wellness space,
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: what does she do?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: She immediately Googles it.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Of course she does.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: You have to check the vibe.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: So she looks at photos from previous events.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she's confronted with this sea of people wearing like flowing white linen,
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: sitting barefoot, looking just intimidatingly ethereal and enlightened.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: The classic white linen look.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Her first reaction is just absolute panic about her wardrobe.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: I would panic too.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: She's standing in front of her closet thinking,
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I do not own the uniform for this level of spirituality.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it highlights this strange assumption we carry that to explore our inner world,
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: we have to adopt an entirely new avatar.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like we need to dress the part of the seeker just to be allowed in the room.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: But she has this quiet, I guess, moment of rebellion.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: She looks at the whole white linen requirement and essentially just says,
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: no, I'm just going to show up as myself.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Which is so brave in that context.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: She realizes she doesn't need to put on a costume to be curious about her own mind.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that refusal to perform spirituality,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: it opens up this much larger conversation about what she calls the CV paradox.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: The CV paradox is fascinating because society heavily,
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: heavily rewards us for aggressively optimizing our professional lives.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you spend your entire weekend at some intensive seminar
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: on advanced project management, your colleagues applaud your dedication.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, wow, you're so driven.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You are adding tangible, quantifiable skills to your resume.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the moment you take that exact same level of ambition and apply it
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: to understanding your own psyche, The room gets very uncomfortable.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: People look at you with genuine suspicion.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's like,
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: why are ambition and optimization so praised in the boardroom but treated like
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: a threat when applied to our own self-awareness?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because it threatens the established corporate paradigm,
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: you know, things like a 10 minute mindfulness app or a Saturday yoga class.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Those are perfectly acceptable.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're just maintenance.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: They are tools to manage your stress so you can return to being
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: a highly productive worker on Monday morning.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the moment you engage in a deeper practice,
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: something designed to fundamentally disrupt your normal state of consciousness
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: or question your underlying programming society slaps the woo-woo label on you.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or, in Julia's case, friends jokingly ask if you've joined a cult.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that woo-woo label operates as a very effective weapon.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: It is totally designed to dismiss anything that isn't easily quantifiable on a spreadsheet.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps us out of the attic.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: It keeps us out of the attic.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: But to actually understand Julia's experience in Milan,
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think we need to demystify what this practice actually was.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, the word kundalini carries an enormous amount of cultural baggage right now.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: It really does.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to address the mechanism behind it.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: For you listening,
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: you might only know Kundalini from those wild videos
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: the social media algorithm serves up.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the dramatic shaking videos.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's important to clarify that this isn't magic or possession or anything like that.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Kundalini practices generally involve a combination of specific breathwork,
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: sound, and somatic experiencing.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: The whole goal is to deliberately bypass the analytical mind,
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: the prefrontal cortex that manages all our daily anxieties,
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: and tap directly into the nervous system where the body stores unexpressed stress
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: and emotion.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Which totally explains those wild videos you see online,
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: like when people suddenly access that stored tension,
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: their bodies might physically shake or thrash as
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: the nervous system discharges energy.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if you see that out of context, your rational brain screams that it's completely unhinged.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It looks chaotic.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: But Julia's experience in Milan wasn't some dramatic theatrical release.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: She was lying completely still on a mat, wearing an eye mask.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: So the intensity was entirely internal.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Completely.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And we should also mention that she brings this really profound intellectual honesty
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: to her writing.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like she writes about a previous,
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: much more intense Kundalini experience she had at Mindvalley University
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: in Tallinn months prior.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Which happened right before she started her Just Julia platform.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: But Julia explicitly refuses to turn correlation into mystical certainty.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: She states very clearly that she has no idea if the activation caused her creativity.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't need it to be a magical cure-all.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: The timing simply made her curious.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: She allows the mystery to just exist without needing to definitively prove it with
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: a scientific study or dismissing it entirely.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Which takes a lot of maturity.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And she approaches the Milan session with that same open curiosity.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: She anchors herself with a very specific mantra as she lies on the mat.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: The mantra is just beautiful.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: She repeats internally, show me, guide me, use me.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: I am listening.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm at your service.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I just,
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: I want to pause on how inherently terrifying that statement is for a capable type
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: A person to actually mean.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's terrifying.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: She notes that she doesn't even care who she is speaking to, right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: God, the universe, her own subconscious, the label is irrelevant to her.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: The intention is just a total surrender of control.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And surrender is like the ultimate vulnerability.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you are the person who normally anticipates every single problem
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: and manages everyone's schedule,
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: saying I am at your service is a radical abdication of your usual armor.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a trap we fall into, right?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Assuming that surrender will yield a clean, actionable business plan.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like we think the universe is going to respond by handing us a five-year roadmap
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: for our careers or a step-by-step guide to fixing our relationships.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: We ask for guidance and instead we are just handed a mirror.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: We are shown the one thing we were trying so hard to avoid looking at.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because when Julia asked to be shown something, she doesn't get a grand vision of her future.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: In her mind's eye, she is suddenly looking at a very specific image from her past.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: She sees a little girl, like maybe three, four or five years old.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the girl is standing so shyly in the corner of a children's birthday party.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, man.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: She's looking frightened, just watching the other kids play, but too scared to join them.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And Julia instantly recognizes this frightened little girl as herself.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: It is a devastatingly lonely image.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what makes this the emotional epicenter of her piece is how
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: the adult Julia chooses to interact with that memory.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't intervene.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: She just sits beside her.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't grab her by the hand and drag her out to the dance floor to prove she can be brave.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't give her some motivational speech about how she needs to toughen up
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: to survive the corporate world or list all the amazing things she is going to build
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: in the future.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Which is what we usually do to ourselves, right?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: To understand why doing nothing is so profound,
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: we have to look at the psychology of how we usually treat our insecurities.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right, with totally harsh judgment.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: We tend to view our past weaker selves with a sense of disgust.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: We look back at the times we were shy or frightened or didn't speak up,
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: and we feel actual anger.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're embarrassed by it.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But that disgust is just a defense mechanism.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: It has our adult brain rejecting the vulnerability
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: that we've spent decades building armor to protect.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: Which completely changes the dynamic when you introduce the lens
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: of motherhood like Julia does here.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: She notes that becoming a mother fundamentally shifted how she views
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: that little girl in the corner.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, completely.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like if your own four-year-old is terrified at a noisy party,
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: you don't lecture them on
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: networking and building confidence, you know?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, you would never do that.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: You don't view their fear with disgust.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: You view it with immense tenderness and protection.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: You just sit with them until they feel safe.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is the application of unconditional love inward.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: By sitting with that younger version of herself without demanding she change,
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Julia is unwinding literally decades of conditioning.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's so powerful.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: She is acknowledging that our past can explain parts of us without acting as
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: a permanent definition of who we are.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You become conscious of where the fear comes from, but you aren't trapped by it.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: It honestly reminds me of discovering an obsolete piece of software running quietly
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: in the background of your computer.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love this analogy.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, say it was installed way back in 1998 for a very specific reason.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe to protect the system from a threat that existed back then.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: A childhood threat, yeah.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you open your activity monitor today,
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: and there it is, just eating up your battery, slowing down your processing power.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: But you don't have to throw the whole computer in the trash.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, of course not.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: You just look at the program,
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: acknowledge why it was installed,
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: And revoke its permission to control the current operating system.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: That perfectly captures the mechanics of neuroplasticity, really, and semantic processing.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because so often, we mistake those old defensive software programs for our core personality.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: We say, I am just an anxious person.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or I am just naturally a people pleaser.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: In reality,
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: you are simply running an adaptation from when you were
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: a frightened five-year-old standing in a corner.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Recognizing the program is the mechanism of change.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: You witness the pattern, but you stop identifying as the pattern.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know,
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: sitting with that past version
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: of yourself creates this strange psychological vacuum.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Once you stop fighting your past,
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: you suddenly have to figure out how to exist in the present
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: without your usual armor.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that is incredibly daunting.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: And for Julia,
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: that meant confronting a totally different kind of discomfort in the second half
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: of this activation.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: So as the session progresses,
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: she remains lying on the mat, but she makes a very deliberate physical shift.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: She turns her palms to face upward.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Just a tiny shift.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: But a powerful one.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And she focuses on a single conscious thought.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: I give myself permission to receive.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Turning your palms up, I mean, it sounds so simple.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: But the somatic connection between physical posture
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: and psychological vulnerability is huge here.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: For the ambitious women listening,
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: just think about how agonizingly difficult it is to simply receive.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: We are absolute masters of giving.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it is our currency.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: We provide value by anticipating problems,
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: managing crises for our teams, carrying the entire emotional load for our families.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because giving is inherently a position of power.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: When you're the one helping, fixing, and providing, you control the dynamic.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps your energetic ledger in the black.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: That is so true.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: We love controlling the dynamic.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: We do.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: But receiving, on the other hand, strips you of that control.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: It requires you to sit in a state of unearned vulnerability.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: It forces you to admit that you are worthy of having something given to you
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: without having to instantly work for it or pay it back.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: And Julia illustrates this friction perfectly with the most commonplace example imaginable.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: The act of deflecting a compliment.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, yes.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: It is a shared reflex for almost every woman I know.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Someone says, you look beautiful today.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: And our immediate reaction is to tear ourselves down to zero at the ledger.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: We say, oh, God, no, I look exhausted.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't sleep.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Or someone praises your dress and you bat it away with this whole thing.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I got it on clearance.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: It has a stain.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: We treat the compliment as a reciprocity debt.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: We feel this immediate urgent need to deflect the kindness
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: because keeping it feels like a threat to our humility or our independence.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Julia addresses this by adopting a new, agonizingly difficult practice in her daily life.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: When someone gives her a compliment, she forces herself to simply say, thank you.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: Just thank you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: No caveats, no self-deprecation to soften the blow.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Just absorbing the kindness.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Which requires immense neurological restraint when your default programming is to deflect.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Lying on that mat in Milan with her palms facing upward was the physical embodiment
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: of practicing that thank you.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: She was literally practicing the physics of open hands, refusing to micromanage the universe.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And sitting in that discomfort of open hands allows this really beautiful memory
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: to surface for her as the session ends.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: This part is so touching.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: She is transported back to her parents' living room in Brazil.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: She remembers playing for hours in the corner of the room,
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: meticulously building these intricate, perfect little worlds for her Barbies.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Setting up the kitchen, arranging the clothes.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Entirely absorbed in her own imagination.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And as part of the activation's integration,
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: she is prompted to imagine receiving a letter from that younger version of herself.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: When Julia imagines opening the envelope from
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: that little girl building Barbie worlds, the letter contains only one word.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Love.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Just love.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she is careful to distinguish that this isn't like a romantic concept.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: It is a profound, quiet,
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: integrating love between the child she was,
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: the adult woman she is right now, and the future woman she is constantly becoming.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: It paints such a vivid contrast.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: The women who are holding the entire world together,
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: the ones architecting the massive corporate projects,
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: running the households,
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: managing the community,
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: are so often the ones most terrified of keeping their palms open to accept
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: a simple compliment.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let alone accepting unconditional love from their own past selves.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you open your palms to receive,
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: you have to put down the heavy things you are desperately trying to control.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: You really do.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can't maintain a white knuckle grip on your career,
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: your family's perception of you and your own rigidly constructed identity
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: while your hands are open.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's physically impossible.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have to trust that you are enough.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Just as you are without performing your capability for an audience.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: You cannot micromanage with your hands open.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: I just that visual alone completely shifts the definition of what doing
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: the inner work is actually supposed to achieve.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: It brings us right to the core thesis of Julia's article.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Her objective with these practices isn't to graduate as a perfectly healed,
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: permanently enlightened guru who never experiences a negative emotion again.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Which is what the wellness industry often sells us.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: That myth that if we just meditate enough, we will become a glowing orb of unbothered energy.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: An optimized, frictionless human machine.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Precisely.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: But she isn't trying to become friction-free.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: She's just trying to become conscious.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Reclaiming your personal power is not about controlling everything
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: in your environment or optimizing away every character flaw.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: It is about becoming deeply conscious of the fears,
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: the insecurities,
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the old childhood software programs
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: that have been quietly driving your decisions.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's the ability to feel a wave of intense insecurity hit you,
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: whether you're standing in a corporate boardroom or your own kitchen and having
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: the presence of mind to think, I know exactly what this physical feeling is.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know what age this adaptation comes from.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I acknowledge it, but I am not going to let it drive the car today.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: The past informs you, but it loses the power to silently dictate your future.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: That is the true value of curiosity over correction.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well said.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: This whole journey of self-awareness is articulated so beautifully in Julia's writing.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you find yourself resonating with this tension between ambition and inner peace,
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: or,
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: you know,
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: navigating the complexities of confidence and identity,
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: you absolutely need to read the source material for today's deep dive.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I highly recommend it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: The article is I'm Not Becoming Woo Woo,
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I Am Becoming Curious, and it is published on the Just Julia Substack.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: And beyond the newsletter,
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Julia is curating a really vital space for women exploring career changes,
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: motherhood, and personal reinvention.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: The Just Julia podcast is an exceptional companion to these essays,
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: and you can find it on Spotify,
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Apple Podcasts, and directly on her Substack platform.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: We spend decades of our lives running at top speed,
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: away from the weaker,
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: more frightened versions of ourselves,
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: convinced we have to outgrow them to be worthy of success.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to leave you, the listener, with a final thought to sit with today.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Picture that image of the terrified little girl at the birthday party.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you could sit quietly beside the younger version of yourself right now
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: without trying to fix her,
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: without giving her a strategic plan for her future,
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: and without demanding she change a single thing about how she feels,
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: what is one thing she would need from you today?