Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / DeAnna’s Dating Dilemma

Transcript

DeAnna’s Dating Dilemma · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:00
Speaker 1: iHeart podcasts bring you the ultimate summer of love tree.
0:04
Speaker 2: This is Famously Available. Hi, it's Kathy Schwartz.
0:09
Speaker 1: And I'm Deanna Stagliano and.
0:11
Speaker 2: We are back with Famously Available and we are just
0:15
Speaker 2: getting ready to dive back into all things about dating
0:18
Speaker 2: with some more girl chat.
0:19
Speaker 1: All right, So I know we're all going to be
0:21
Speaker 1: at jingle Ball. You're going to be there. You've had
0:23
Speaker 1: the pleasure of already seeing me go on one date.
0:25
Speaker 2: I got to tell you that looked so I'm I
0:30
Speaker 2: don't know even at my age. You put a man
0:32
Speaker 2: in front of me and let me talk to him
0:35
Speaker 2: for five minutes. When I see his eyes and his smile,
0:38
Speaker 2: I can tell you whether I'm interested in the second day.
0:41
Speaker 2: That's how quickly I can do it. But it was
0:45
Speaker 2: painful to watch you because you clear in my mind
0:48
Speaker 2: you clearly were not interested in that date that you had.
0:51
Speaker 1: Well, I won't I won't go back because we already
0:54
Speaker 1: did a podcast over that. But I think you're right, Kathy.
0:56
Speaker 1: I think I realized pretty early on. It also was
0:58
Speaker 1: a It was also was a weird scenario, you know
1:00
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's not like it's like you go
1:02
Speaker 1: out to dinner with one guy and get to yeah,
1:04
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, different scenario, like all the
1:05
Speaker 1: friends were there who were right, Which is why I'm
1:08
Speaker 1: also I feel a little apprehensive now about bringing this
1:14
Speaker 1: one because he's okay. No one on the podcast introduced
1:17
Speaker 1: me to him. He's somebody that I met myself. A
1:20
Speaker 1: lot of our friends do not know that we have
1:22
Speaker 1: been seeing each other. So then to bring him to
1:25
Speaker 1: such a public event.
1:26
Speaker 2: Well but it's well, it's not going to be. I
1:28
Speaker 2: don't think you and he would be on camera. I
1:30
Speaker 2: just had a brilliant idea. This is Kathy, this is
1:32
Speaker 2: my min mind works. You bring him, and you bring him,
1:38
Speaker 2: and you know, we don't nobody don't know who he is.
1:42
Speaker 2: We won't put one camera, we won't say his name.
1:44
Speaker 2: And then they can reach out to the East Coast
1:46
Speaker 2: guy and ask him if he wants to come and
1:50
Speaker 2: have a second date with me, a third date I
1:52
Speaker 2: guess would be and then if he isn't nice to me,
1:55
Speaker 2: you all could torture him.
1:57
Speaker 1: No, we're not bringing him back, Kathy, because you're worth
1:59
Speaker 1: more than what he gave. You are worth more than
2:02
Speaker 1: what he gave to you. We're not bringing him back.
2:04
Speaker 1: I'm not even going to stand for it because now
2:05
Speaker 1: I have a tainted little taste in my mouth for him.
2:08
Speaker 1: So we can't have him back. We need to set
2:10
Speaker 1: you up with someone fresh and new.
2:12
Speaker 2: Are you? Have you been doing dating apps?
2:16
Speaker 1: I did dating apps, I guess about a year ago.
2:20
Speaker 1: I haven't been on them in over a year. Okay,
2:22
Speaker 1: it's a show, don't do it.
2:23
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, I have to tell you. I don't know
2:25
Speaker 2: if you know this, but Joan and Susan and Nancy,
2:28
Speaker 2: all from my season with Golden Bats for one, all
2:31
Speaker 2: came to Austin like three weeks ago.
2:33
Speaker 1: I saw.
2:34
Speaker 2: Okay, we had a blast. But one of the things, uh,
2:37
Speaker 2: Susan and Joan were harassing Nancy and me. You've got
2:42
Speaker 2: to get on a dating site. I said, guys, it's brutal.
2:45
Speaker 2: It is brutal, and Nancy's younger than I am, and
2:48
Speaker 2: it's still brutal. So just you know, one too many
2:52
Speaker 2: glasses of wine, and we said, we said uncle. We
2:54
Speaker 2: got on and then we spent the rest of night
2:57
Speaker 2: going really all literally. We took turns holding up guys
3:01
Speaker 2: pictures that were fifty pounds overweight, holding up dead fish
3:06
Speaker 2: with bear cans, ball caps backwards, you know, ridiculous, or
3:10
Speaker 2: thirty year olds that said, hey, you know you do
3:12
Speaker 2: want to be my baby mama. I mean, it was
3:13
Speaker 2: the whole thing. We died laughing. It is. So, I
3:17
Speaker 2: do not think that online dating works.
3:21
Speaker 1: So here's the thing. I did do it for a
3:22
Speaker 1: period of time. I did go on a few dates.
3:25
Speaker 1: One guy I dated off and on for about a
3:27
Speaker 1: year and a half, off and on. Wow, I did
3:29
Speaker 1: date another guy who I still keep in touch with
3:31
Speaker 1: to this day, who's he's super nice. You know, Yeah,
3:36
Speaker 1: I think it can be good. But I am with you, Kathy,
3:38
Speaker 1: where I would really like to meet someone the old
3:40
Speaker 1: fashioned way, And I would say in my age group
3:43
Speaker 1: in particular, what I found from the dating apps were
3:47
Speaker 1: just a bunch of men who wanted to have sex.
3:49
Speaker 1: That's all it was. Yeah, men these days are so
3:51
Speaker 1: quick to send you pictures of their private parts they
3:56
Speaker 1: fast forward, or you just get the ones who aren't
3:59
Speaker 1: real and just want to message you for a month
4:03
Speaker 1: on end.
4:03
Speaker 2: Well they really like you to send a check to
4:06
Speaker 2: them for you know.
4:07
Speaker 1: Right or that, or it's just some old man who's
4:09
Speaker 1: married at home at diaanes board, you know, what I mean.
4:11
Speaker 2: You know, I'm ready for advice on this because honestly,
4:15
Speaker 2: I get out, I have friends, I got, I go
4:17
Speaker 2: out for dinner, I go out to bars, I do.
4:23
Speaker 2: I do a lot of dating. I'll give myself a
4:28
Speaker 2: lot of opportunities to date. But the thing where I
4:31
Speaker 2: need help is how do you how do you meet
4:35
Speaker 2: men organically? I think it's where you could give me
4:38
Speaker 2: some advice because you've been around. I mean I've been around,
4:42
Speaker 2: but I've been married, you know, for a long time too.
4:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, Kathy. I do believe that you
4:46
Speaker 1: should give the dating apps a shot. I believe that
4:49
Speaker 1: you are putting yourself out there. I also as cuckoo
4:52
Speaker 1: as the sounds like, let everybody call it what it
4:54
Speaker 1: is like. I believe we're all destined for a path,
4:57
Speaker 1: and it may just not be in your path right now. Kathy,
4:59
Speaker 1: you are meant for so something else. You are meant
5:01
Speaker 1: to do all of these things right you did, You
5:02
Speaker 1: did the Gold Baster, then you did Paradise, now you're
5:05
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. You know what I mean? There could
5:08
Speaker 1: be a point in your life that you are destined
5:10
Speaker 1: for more and you are not fully open into a
5:13
Speaker 1: space to have someone. I'm not God. I'm not going
5:16
Speaker 1: to tell you what that is, but these are the
5:18
Speaker 1: things that go on in my twisted mind. Whatever my
5:20
Speaker 1: path is, I just want to be on that.
5:22
Speaker 2: Well, let me ask you, do you ever think I mean?
5:24
Speaker 2: I will tell you the thought has crossed my mind
5:26
Speaker 2: that I am. People always accuse me of being friends
5:30
Speaker 2: of friend zoning men. I don't think I do. But
5:33
Speaker 2: maybe maybe that's maybe that is my path. I don't know,
5:39
Speaker 2: but I know that where I was when I was
5:41
Speaker 2: your age and when I was in my thirties, I
5:45
Speaker 2: wanted that man twenty four to seven. That is something
5:47
Speaker 2: that I'm now thinking about. Do I want a man
5:51
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven? Do I want a man to
5:53
Speaker 2: live with me? Or do I like waking up and
5:55
Speaker 2: reading my book in my bed sometimes till ten in
5:57
Speaker 2: the morning, you know, or going to bed and I
6:00
Speaker 2: want to go to bed. But I do think it
6:02
Speaker 2: our age, at my age, a relationship can look differently.
6:07
Speaker 2: Do you feel like it ken at your age or not?
6:09
Speaker 1: Absolutely? And I've shared this multiple multiple times on the podcast.
6:13
Speaker 1: Is that I A. I don't know. I definitely don't
6:15
Speaker 1: want more children. B. I don't know that I want
6:18
Speaker 1: marriage and also seeing like I don't know that I
6:21
Speaker 1: want to cohabitate.
6:22
Speaker 2: With anyone permanently or at all.
6:24
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm really on the fence about that.
6:26
Speaker 2: See I would cohabitate. I don't think I need to
6:30
Speaker 2: live with someone full time. Susan from our show, you
6:33
Speaker 2: know she has a long distance boyfriend. I think that's
6:36
Speaker 2: I don't think I could do that. Like, I know
6:38
Speaker 2: the parameters that I have. I if I dated a
6:41
Speaker 2: guy that's in California, I would jump in that. I'm sorry,
6:44
Speaker 2: I have to rewind my brain. Gary Teresa, Joan and
6:49
Speaker 2: Chalk and mel and Peg three couples who to this.
6:57
Speaker 2: I mean one's divorced. But the issue is always around
7:00
Speaker 2: living in the same town and moving, and I actually
7:03
Speaker 2: don't have that issue. I would move wherever, and then
7:08
Speaker 2: I would come back, keep my home here and go
7:10
Speaker 2: back and forth. I think what I'm trying to say
7:13
Speaker 2: is I am much more flexible now because I don't
7:16
Speaker 2: have children at home like you do. I would think
7:19
Speaker 2: i'd be. But here's the rub. And I was talking
7:22
Speaker 2: to my guy friend about this the other day. He said, well,
7:26
Speaker 2: maybe you're just looking for friends with benefits. I said no, no, no,
7:30
Speaker 2: I want the commitment I want, but it doesn't mean
7:33
Speaker 2: I have to spend twenty four seven with you. It
7:35
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I want you to live in Paris and
7:38
Speaker 2: I'm living in Texas. But I feel like I'm so
7:41
Speaker 2: open to an evolved relationship because my kids are grown,
7:49
Speaker 2: because I'm retired, and I don't know if you're in
7:52
Speaker 2: that space or not. Well, obviously you're not tired. I'm saying,
7:54
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're in the space of looking
7:57
Speaker 2: at a relationship differently than you marriage.
8:01
Speaker 1: Here's the thing I have been struggling with this as
8:05
Speaker 1: I've been dipping my toe back into dating because I'm
8:07
Speaker 1: so used to. Obviously, I was with my ex husband
8:10
Speaker 1: for over fifteen years, right, that's a long time. It's
8:12
Speaker 1: a large chunk of my life. I find personally that
8:20
Speaker 1: as women, we are raised and in our generation, it
8:26
Speaker 1: was you find a man, you take care of a home,
8:29
Speaker 1: you birthed his babies, you're barefoot and pregnant, and you
8:33
Speaker 1: take care of him.
8:34
Speaker 2: That's my generation. You're saying, that's your generation.
8:37
Speaker 1: I'm on the cusp of whether that was right or wrong.
8:40
Speaker 1: The matter is, Kathy, I never felt that in my soul.
8:43
Speaker 1: I always wanted more. I did not want to give
8:46
Speaker 1: up the chance to have a career. I wanted a husband.
8:50
Speaker 1: I was on the fence for a while about kids,
8:51
Speaker 1: but I love my children. But I never ever was
8:55
Speaker 1: fully comfortable being him the traditional values of what people
9:01
Speaker 1: interpret the Bible to say, man is the leader of
9:04
Speaker 1: the home, the women is subordinate, and then everything else
9:07
Speaker 1: in line. I never felt really comfortable with that. That's
9:11
Speaker 1: just like, to my core, that's not how it is.
9:14
Speaker 1: That's just not how I feel. That's not the relationship
9:16
Speaker 1: that I want. I do, on the other hand, believe
9:18
Speaker 1: that we are built for partnership and companionship. I do
9:23
Speaker 1: believe in monogamy. I do absolutely believe in that. I
9:26
Speaker 1: believe that the Lord designed us to have partnership, to
9:33
Speaker 1: refine ourselves and be able to live a life with
9:39
Speaker 1: another human being. Now let me get twisted for a second.
9:43
Speaker 1: I also believe we can have many great loves of
9:45
Speaker 1: our life. Right. I have had that young, crazy love, right,
9:48
Speaker 1: that high school sweetheart. I've had that. I loved that
9:51
Speaker 1: man more than like me too. It was the sick part,
9:54
Speaker 1: the butterflies, you know what I mean, That unhealthy love
9:57
Speaker 1: where I was just like I needed him. I couldn't.
9:59
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I had to be with him like it
10:00
Speaker 1: gave me the butterflies, that gave me, the craziness, it
10:02
Speaker 1: gave me all of those things. I've had the mid twenties.
10:05
Speaker 1: Love where I was really unsure. I've had that when
10:09
Speaker 1: I met my ex husband, the one that I thought
10:11
Speaker 1: was going to change my life. This one was it.
10:14
Speaker 1: This one was the one the person that I chose
10:16
Speaker 1: to be my partner and have children with. So I
10:20
Speaker 1: am sharing that with you in a sense that like
10:22
Speaker 1: I think this is where I'm getting confused in dating
10:24
Speaker 1: right now, because I don't have that piece when the
10:28
Speaker 1: few people that I have dated to where they come
10:30
Speaker 1: in and they blow me away. But I believe that
10:32
Speaker 1: is because I am different, I have matured. I am
10:36
Speaker 1: in a place in my life just like you that
10:38
Speaker 1: I don't really need a man, do you know what
10:41
Speaker 1: I mean. I don't need the kids, I don't need
10:43
Speaker 1: the diamonds. I can buy them on my own. It
10:45
Speaker 1: is a desire to have someone to share my life with.
10:48
Speaker 1: So therefore I am confusing the two because I have
10:52
Speaker 1: had the opportunity to date some really great guys. The
10:55
Speaker 1: guy that I saw off and on for a year
10:56
Speaker 1: and a half, he was wonderful, and he was emotionally
10:59
Speaker 1: safe and great in bed, all of the wonderful things.
11:04
Speaker 1: But in the long run we did not line up
11:06
Speaker 1: for me what I felt was going to last a
11:09
Speaker 1: period of time.
11:10
Speaker 2: This man well so and therein I think that is
11:15
Speaker 2: maybe a difference in age or maybe again I don't know.
11:20
Speaker 1: And you have both, Bathy. Can you have someone who's
11:22
Speaker 1: really wonderful, who shows up and devis you an amazing
11:24
Speaker 1: bouquet of flowers, who takes care of you, who takes
11:26
Speaker 1: you out to dinner, who never asked you to pay
11:28
Speaker 1: for a dime, and is also amazing in bed? Or
11:30
Speaker 1: do you have to choose? Do you have to pick
11:31
Speaker 1: one or the other?
11:32
Speaker 2: Who knows? But I think maybe again, our experiences to
11:39
Speaker 2: help define who we are. Our past helps define who
11:42
Speaker 2: we are in the present and our future. So I
11:45
Speaker 2: think your situation was very different than mine. I think
11:49
Speaker 2: maybe that's why you're struggling to jump into this, because
11:53
Speaker 2: you don't want to have what you had before, and
11:57
Speaker 2: you see that as a negative, like it was rough,
12:00
Speaker 2: I look at the positive. I don't know for me
12:03
Speaker 2: not that my marriage was perfect. You show me a
12:05
Speaker 2: perfect marriage, and I'll show you two liars. But but
12:09
Speaker 2: I had a good marriage and a great man. Having
12:12
Speaker 2: said that, where I look as is this vessel. I'm
12:17
Speaker 2: an open vessel now, and I'm looking for that person
12:22
Speaker 2: who will walk with me, who will enjoy things with me,
12:26
Speaker 2: because I'm at a time in my life that I
12:27
Speaker 2: can do that. I don't need any more diamonds. I
12:30
Speaker 2: don't need all that. I don't need all the trappings need.
12:33
Speaker 2: I don't need a guy who's living on Social Security
12:35
Speaker 2: alone either. But I'm saying, but Ben asked me that.
12:40
Speaker 2: He said, well, I said, I'm looking for the guy
12:42
Speaker 2: to spend this last great chapter with. He said, why
12:44
Speaker 2: does it have to be one guy? I'll tell you why,
12:47
Speaker 2: because I believe that for me, I'm not interested in
12:52
Speaker 2: serial dating. I'm interested in a monogamous relationship. And if
12:56
Speaker 2: i have a monogamous relationship, I feel like I'm old
12:59
Speaker 2: enough to know when I find the right one, I'll
13:05
Speaker 2: know that he's right because I'm taking all those past
13:08
Speaker 2: experiences I've had into this relationship. And that's why for me,
13:13
Speaker 2: when I go out on a date with a guy,
13:15
Speaker 2: I can tell you very quickly whether there's And that's
13:18
Speaker 2: why this guy East Coast guy, that's why he's still
13:21
Speaker 2: in my head, because I could see a future with him.
13:25
Speaker 2: I could see. It's just you know, timings, everything kind
13:28
Speaker 2: of thing.
13:28
Speaker 1: Not the right time, Kathy. Maybe he will pop in
13:31
Speaker 1: and it'll feel right. Maybe now is just not the
13:33
Speaker 1: right time.
13:34
Speaker 2: You know what.
13:35
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. You're a freaking catch, Kathy, and who
13:38
Speaker 1: am I? And we're at a point in our lives
13:40
Speaker 1: that we do get to be picky, right. We're not
13:42
Speaker 1: trying to have someone's babies, We're not trying to get
13:45
Speaker 1: me here.
13:45
Speaker 2: But wait a minute, you're just I've got I gotta
13:48
Speaker 2: call you on this. Danna. I calling you Danna for
13:51
Speaker 2: everybody out there. I call her Dianna because my sister
13:53
Speaker 2: in the last name is Dianna, not Deanna. So now
13:56
Speaker 2: I'm going back to d you. It seemingly have this guy.
14:00
Speaker 2: So what is in your way here?
14:01
Speaker 1: I'm in my own way because I think too much,
14:04
Speaker 1: because I don't want to ruin a friendship, because I'm
14:06
Speaker 1: scared about the age difference. I'm in my own way.
14:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, won't know unless you jump in and try.
14:13
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, he's very patient. I haven't scared him
14:16
Speaker 1: off yet, and I am one thousand percent. Everything that
14:19
Speaker 1: I am telling you are things that I have said
14:20
Speaker 1: to him. I would not be saying anything to you
14:22
Speaker 1: right now that I have not already brought to his attention.
14:24
Speaker 2: So if he knows this about you, and he's still willing,
14:27
Speaker 2: he's he's in, I should tell you who he's in.
14:31
Speaker 2: I know. Here's the thing. You you're clearly reticent to
14:46
Speaker 2: jump in with this guy, and you keep saying you
14:48
Speaker 2: don't want to lose the friendship. We started this whole
14:51
Speaker 2: podcast with you going on about all your fabulous friends
14:55
Speaker 2: that you spent and yes, albeit girlfriends. What makes this
14:59
Speaker 2: friendship with him? It's so special that you're afraid to
15:01
Speaker 2: quote unquote risk it.
15:03
Speaker 1: I think because we have mutual friends, do you know
15:05
Speaker 1: what I mean? And I am traumatized by a divorce.
15:09
Speaker 2: Oh, so could get messy. It's not really the friendship.
15:12
Speaker 2: It could get messy.
15:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what. There's so much fallout with divorce,
15:16
Speaker 1: like friends that chose sides, friends that I don't speak
15:20
Speaker 1: to anymore, and those were it wasn't just the loss
15:22
Speaker 1: of my marriage. It was the loss of family, it
15:24
Speaker 1: was a loss of friendship. I grieved on multiple levels.
15:27
Speaker 1: That was so very hard for me. And it's the
15:29
Speaker 1: same thing with this. We have mutual friends, we see
15:34
Speaker 1: each other pretty frequently, and a lot of our mutual
15:36
Speaker 1: friends do not know that we have moved into more
15:39
Speaker 1: of a dating.
15:40
Speaker 2: So you see it sort of as a then diagram
15:42
Speaker 2: that we're going to grow trees out of this branches
15:45
Speaker 2: and you don't want to cut off branches.
15:47
Speaker 1: And it's all out scares me if it doesn't work out.
15:50
Speaker 1: If I wake up tomorrow and I'm like, ah, man,
15:51
Speaker 1: I don't know your age difference, I'm scared to see
15:53
Speaker 1: you naked, you know what I mean? Like the age
15:55
Speaker 1: difference really gets to me, Like.
15:56
Speaker 2: Okay, now you're hetting close to home here. Would you
15:58
Speaker 2: talk about it? I don't know. I will say to
16:02
Speaker 2: you that if that's how you feel, you're always it
16:06
Speaker 2: seems like you're going to find it a reason the
16:09
Speaker 2: next guy you know maybe doesn't know your friends and
16:13
Speaker 2: and you know, I mean.
16:15
Speaker 1: Right, or I get to decide that I don't want to.
16:18
Speaker 1: So we said this before. There are lessons and everything.
16:21
Speaker 1: This this man, for whatever reason, is meant to teach
16:23
Speaker 1: me lessons and he has been really wonderful to me.
16:26
Speaker 2: He does he live in the same town he does?
16:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, not far from her.
16:31
Speaker 2: Yes, seriously, I know, I know, I know.
16:34
Speaker 1: He's really great.
16:35
Speaker 2: Okay, I need you to bring him to jingle Ball
16:37
Speaker 2: so I can have a little chat with him, because
16:39
Speaker 2: I'm a.
16:41
Speaker 1: It terrifies me to bring him around other people. Uh,
16:45
Speaker 1: the judgment from others really terrifies me. Are they going
16:49
Speaker 1: to think he's good enough? Are they going to think
16:50
Speaker 1: he's good looking enough? They? Are they going to think
16:51
Speaker 1: I'm good enough for him?
16:52
Speaker 2: Guess what? Guess what matters? Guess what matters? I'm being
16:56
Speaker 2: your mother. What matters is do you think he's good
17:00
Speaker 2: enough for you? And does he think you're good enough
17:03
Speaker 2: for him? It matters what you guys think of each other.
17:05
Speaker 2: That's girl talk. That is girl chat right there, and.
17:09
Speaker 1: The same thing to him. You also get to decide
17:11
Speaker 1: this is not a one way street.
17:13
Speaker 2: He did decide, Dary, He has decided. So you know,
17:16
Speaker 2: now you're going to have to strap on your big
17:18
Speaker 2: girl boots here and decide, you know, whether or not
17:22
Speaker 2: you're willing to go down the road. But as someone
17:25
Speaker 2: who would love the opportunity of going down the road.
17:28
Speaker 2: I'm saying, not thinking, what the hell is wrong with you?
17:31
Speaker 1: Not?
17:31
Speaker 2: And there's nothing wrong with you, by the way, with me, Kathy, No,
17:35
Speaker 2: can we be positive here? Can we be positive?
17:38
Speaker 1: I say that in the best way.
17:40
Speaker 2: Well, we all have issues. But do you have this
17:43
Speaker 2: guy who is sending you flowers, who is calling you,
17:47
Speaker 2: who knows what you do for a living, who is
17:49
Speaker 2: saying I know you, I know all your foibles, I
17:52
Speaker 2: know your children, I know your friends, and I want
17:54
Speaker 2: to go down this road with you. And you're sitting
17:56
Speaker 2: there saying, you know what are you on Aisle one?
17:58
Speaker 2: Are you the guy? And I yeah, but maybe on
18:00
Speaker 2: Aisle six, this guy is standing at the checkout line
18:03
Speaker 2: waiting for you. What you know? You gotta think of that.
18:07
Speaker 1: It's me, Kathy, I am holding back. What if it's
18:09
Speaker 1: not all there?
18:10
Speaker 2: Right?
18:10
Speaker 1: The friendship is really great. We have wonderful conversations.
18:12
Speaker 2: I will like, you've already wait, you've already made it
18:15
Speaker 2: a foregone conclusion, which I think is wrong. By the way,
18:18
Speaker 2: that should you date him, Let's go call him Joe
18:22
Speaker 2: Supermarket Joe. We've heard that before. Let's just say you
18:25
Speaker 2: date Joe, and then three months in, you know what,
18:30
Speaker 2: you as an adult and a beautiful, strong woman, and
18:34
Speaker 2: Joe over there can say, you know what, we tried,
18:37
Speaker 2: but we're going to go back to being friends. That's
18:39
Speaker 2: where our lane is, that's where we fit best. And
18:42
Speaker 2: you know what, your other friends are going to support
18:44
Speaker 2: that because they love you and they care about you,
18:47
Speaker 2: so don't I would encourage you to not blame what
18:51
Speaker 2: if this? What if that? You never know unless you
18:54
Speaker 2: go down the road of trying. And a year from now,
18:57
Speaker 2: I hope we're sitting on this podcast and you're saying,
19:01
Speaker 2: I can't believe it worked out. I can't believe you.
19:03
Speaker 2: Remember a year ago, Kathy, when I was saying I
19:05
Speaker 2: was so afraid, you know, to go down that road
19:08
Speaker 2: with him, all of those things. It could be everything
19:11
Speaker 2: you want, all wrapped into one little package. Great sex,
19:15
Speaker 2: great romance, a guy who cares about you, will treat
19:18
Speaker 2: you well, who will love your children, who will do
19:20
Speaker 2: the dishes, He'll bring you coffee in bed, whatever it
19:23
Speaker 2: is your dreams are. He could be just standing there,
19:27
Speaker 2: you know, waiting for you to wake up.
19:30
Speaker 1: I know, and it's only I am scared. I am scared.
19:34
Speaker 1: I am one hundred percent scared.
19:36
Speaker 2: I am Well, you're the only one that can change you,
19:38
Speaker 2: my darling.
19:39
Speaker 1: I know. Do you get all of it? Kathy? Do
19:41
Speaker 1: you get every bit?
19:43
Speaker 2: Do you get the we never get every bit? D
19:46
Speaker 2: nobody does?
19:46
Speaker 1: Asking you what do I have to figure out? In
19:49
Speaker 1: places where like that's not as important to me?
19:51
Speaker 2: Do you get You're like, you'll know you're not even
19:54
Speaker 2: giving him the chance to show you. For example, maybe
19:58
Speaker 2: your thing is and I'm being funny here, but maybe
20:01
Speaker 2: your thing is. I can't stand it when my husband
20:05
Speaker 2: left the dishes on the sink and didn't put him
20:07
Speaker 2: the dishwasher. And now you're with this guy. You're rolling
20:10
Speaker 2: out of bed. You know, he bought you a great
20:13
Speaker 2: Christmas present. You're you're on a week's vacation in Port
20:16
Speaker 2: of Iarta, and you know what, You get home and
20:19
Speaker 2: he leaves the dishes in the sink and you'll sit
20:21
Speaker 2: there laugh and why did ever think that was such
20:23
Speaker 2: a big thing? Because he'll give you enough of everything
20:26
Speaker 2: else you want. I'm trying to get you to think
20:28
Speaker 2: on the positive side here. Stop looking for pitfall, Stop
20:32
Speaker 2: looking for the train wreck that isn't there. Let me
20:35
Speaker 2: ask you have you kissed him yet?
20:37
Speaker 1: I have it?
20:38
Speaker 2: Can he kiss Yeah? It's good?
20:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah it was good.
20:43
Speaker 2: Well, you know what if his kissing's good, as you
20:46
Speaker 2: move down, he's probably just fine. I mean, give it
20:49
Speaker 2: a chance. I want you to give it a chance.
20:53
Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of fish in the CD,
20:56
Speaker 2: but a lot of them are carp and you know
20:58
Speaker 2: you found this beautiful eel stare. I mean, I'm trying
21:02
Speaker 2: to think of a pretty fish. You know. He's standing
21:06
Speaker 2: there saying come on, come on, and you're sitting here
21:09
Speaker 2: giving me a thousand reasons why you shouldn't try. I'm saying,
21:13
Speaker 2: you only have one reason to try.
21:15
Speaker 1: I do many things. Well. I can do this and
21:17
Speaker 1: put my life out there and be really vulnerable, really
21:20
Speaker 1: well to a bunch of people who I don't know
21:21
Speaker 1: who are listening to our podcast. I can do it
21:23
Speaker 1: with you in the most intimate places in my life.
21:26
Speaker 1: The walls are really thick. Those are the hardest ones
21:29
Speaker 1: to come down. I can be open and honest with
21:31
Speaker 1: you and go on a television show and do a
21:34
Speaker 1: podcast and do all of that and be true to
21:35
Speaker 1: myself and all of those aspects. But then you put
21:37
Speaker 1: me in a situation where exactly what I am hoping
21:41
Speaker 1: for shows up and the walls are so thick because
21:43
Speaker 1: I'm really scared. I'm really really scared.
21:56
Speaker 2: Let's reverse the tables here for a second. What I
21:58
Speaker 2: this for me? What if the tables returned and I
22:01
Speaker 2: was saying, de I met this guy, he said in
22:03
Speaker 2: the most gorgeou boy I'm gonna put out. I'm putting
22:05
Speaker 2: this out at the university of it happens. I met
22:07
Speaker 2: this great guy. He's a great kisser. He's a little bit.
22:10
Speaker 2: He's twelve years younger than I am. Let's just yeah,
22:16
Speaker 2: he's twelve years younger. But he sent me flowers. He
22:19
Speaker 2: loves me. We have mutual friends. But I'm so afraid.
22:21
Speaker 2: What would you tell me to do?
22:23
Speaker 1: I would tell you to go for it.
22:24
Speaker 2: Hello, I know, get that beautiful mirror, mirror on the wall,
22:29
Speaker 2: look at it and say I can do this because
22:32
Speaker 2: the upside potential D is amazing. Like this is what
22:36
Speaker 2: By the way, this is what women do. I think,
22:40
Speaker 2: which makes women's friendships different from men's. I think I
22:45
Speaker 2: am supporting you because I think you are a lovely
22:48
Speaker 2: kind you have so much to offer, and I'm encouraging
22:52
Speaker 2: you to go down this road and be vulnerable because
22:55
Speaker 2: this may be the guy at the checkout stand. You
22:58
Speaker 2: know he may be, and if you don't take the risk,
23:02
Speaker 2: you're never going to know. And so thank you, Kathy.
23:06
Speaker 1: It is easy for me, as my friend to take
23:09
Speaker 1: those compliments. It is easy for me. It is easy
23:12
Speaker 1: for me to project that and say I know that
23:15
Speaker 1: I'm a real catch. It is not easy for me
23:17
Speaker 1: in an intimate relationship like that, to accept that, to
23:20
Speaker 1: allow someone to treat me.
23:22
Speaker 2: We are going to continue working on that, because you
23:25
Speaker 2: know what it's getting to be. The end of the
23:27
Speaker 2: year twenty twenty six is around the corner. Do you
23:31
Speaker 2: have any New Year's resolutions?
23:32
Speaker 1: No, I don't do resolutions, and I have welcomed a
23:35
Speaker 1: new year. I have been ready to wash the last
23:37
Speaker 1: year off of me, let it be gone. I am
23:39
Speaker 1: welcoming a new year. I believe that I am as
23:42
Speaker 1: close to my path as my soul's purpose is supposed
23:45
Speaker 1: to be.
23:46
Speaker 2: Well, you're going to get closer if that guy comes
23:48
Speaker 2: to the jingle ball. I'm going to make sure of it.
23:49
Speaker 2: But it's funny you say that I don't have any resolutions.
23:54
Speaker 2: I just hope that this has been a great year
23:58
Speaker 2: for me, even though I haven't, you know, found the
24:01
Speaker 2: person that's going to walk with me down that Sunnybrook road.
24:05
Speaker 2: But I've had lots of great experiences, and that's what
24:07
Speaker 2: I want in twenty twenty six. And I think what
24:10
Speaker 2: I realized with each passing year. It's on me to
24:14
Speaker 2: make every year great, every day great. I can't rely
24:19
Speaker 2: on somebody else. I don't rely on my kids or
24:21
Speaker 2: my friends. I look to myself to make my days
24:26
Speaker 2: and my year's the best they can be.
24:28
Speaker 1: You're freaking catch, Kathy, Well, so are you. It's in
24:31
Speaker 1: the cards for both of us. You are a freaking catch.
24:34
Speaker 1: We are a freaking catch.
24:35
Speaker 2: Well, I think the king in the deck has found you.
24:38
Speaker 1: So well, let's not put the car before the horse. Okay,
24:41
Speaker 1: everybody slow down. We'll see if I bring him to
24:43
Speaker 1: Jingo bol.
24:44
Speaker 2: Or not keed. All right, So, so tell me what
24:48
Speaker 2: you want in the new year. I know you don't
24:50
Speaker 2: make resolutions, but tell me tell me. What I would
24:53
Speaker 2: like to see happen to be in the new year
24:55
Speaker 2: is finish that sentence.
24:58
Speaker 1: What I would like to see to me in the
25:00
Speaker 1: new year is peace. I would like peace in my life.
25:03
Speaker 1: I am tired of the highs and I am tired
25:06
Speaker 1: of lows. I want to finally, for the first time
25:08
Speaker 1: in my life, be riding at a level pace that's
25:11
Speaker 1: never happened for me ever.
25:14
Speaker 2: Wow, No, yeah, I think for me what I want
25:19
Speaker 2: in the new year is continued good health and opportunities
25:25
Speaker 2: to just keep enjoying life and obviously you know, finding
25:29
Speaker 2: that person, but just keep having experiences that where I can,
25:34
Speaker 2: I can want be a One of the things that
25:38
Speaker 2: I've liked in last year is people coming up to
25:41
Speaker 2: me and saying I've given them hope. I like being
25:44
Speaker 2: that beacon of light that shows people who are golden
25:48
Speaker 2: that there is life after sixty, there is life after seventy.
25:51
Speaker 2: So I want to keep doing that. My wish is
25:53
Speaker 2: for you. I'm going to tell you what my wish
25:55
Speaker 2: for you is that you will find a way to
25:59
Speaker 2: calm the fear in your brain and take some good
26:03
Speaker 2: risks for yourself.
26:05
Speaker 1: Thanks, Kathy, I love you.
26:07
Speaker 2: I love you too.
26:08
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to seeing you in a couple of
26:10
Speaker 1: weeks when we are on a date together with someone else.
26:15
Speaker 2: Well, you and one thing I can be sure of
26:17
Speaker 2: you and I are not going on a date, but.
26:21
Speaker 1: We don't have a romantic relationship, but we get to
26:23
Speaker 1: be friends the best time ever.
26:25
Speaker 2: You're right and I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving
26:29
Speaker 2: you and your family, and I cannot wait to see
26:31
Speaker 2: at jingle Ball.
26:32
Speaker 1: Me too, Kathy. This is so wonderful to see you.
26:35
Speaker 1: Happy Thanksgiving.
26:36
Speaker 2: Love, Thanks Weedie