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010: The #1 Shift You Need for Sustainable Success (Without Burning Out) · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Freddie Davis and I'm your host.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And today is Sustainable Success Tuesday.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we get to walk through and talk about building success and leadership and business in a way that actually supports the life that you want to live instead of consumes it.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: So around here, you know, small sustainable shifts, they create real results.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I teach, this is what I live.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is how you start to build your truly limitless life.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to be talking about something that might, quite frankly, be the single biggest important shift that you can make if you want success that actually lasts and does not consume you.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's something I have noticed with working with women, you know, decades now.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: The women who build sustainable success, they're not necessarily the women who work the hardest.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: They're not the ones who are doing the most and pushing through constantly.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: They're not the ones who are pushing themselves consistently past exhaustion.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: They're the women who have made one small, very specific shift in how they see success.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And once you see this, you can't unsee it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're somebody who cares deeply for your work, or you care deeply for the people around you, and you're someone who shows up for people, if you're the responsible one, the one who always gets things done, this conversation is probably going to hit home and feel very familiar.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's what I see all the time, over and over again, is with the women who are the most capable, the most committed, and the most responsible, these are often the women who end up the most exhausted, overwhelmed, and run down.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not because they aren't successful, but because of how they're getting to that level of success and how they're trying to continue to create success.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I remember, you know, a conversation not too long ago with one of my clients who, you know, she sat down and we started to talk about what was going on.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the very first things she said out of her mouth, and again, I'm hearing this a lot.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I have actually felt this at times in my life until I figured out what was going on.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And what she said was, I feel like I'm doing everything right, but I am tired all the time.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't seem to not be tired all the time.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And when we started to unpack things deeper, it became very clear what was happening.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: She believed that success meant doing more.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: More work, more effort, more pushing through, more responsibility, more output.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that she's not alone in this belief.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: As I said, I've walked through this myself.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I hear this all the time.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us who were taught, we were taught that building success was done by pushing harder, pushing harder than everyone else.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to tell you, there is a season where you need to push a little harder, you need to get through.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: There is that.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it can come and go in ebbs and flows.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: However, what I've learned after decades of being a business owner and decades of working with other women is that both in business and in your wellness, that the sustainable success is built very differently.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not wrapped around constant pushing harder, pushing through, and doing more.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: The number one thing that you must do for sustainable success is you must learn that your energy is gold.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: You must protect your energy as intentionally as you pursue your goals.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because success is not worth all that comes with it if you can't enjoy it.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Success is not just about effort.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Success is actually about capacity, the capacity that will come from your energy, not from exhaustion.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Exhaustion reduces the capacity, and that means the capacity to build, to grow, to do all the things that you want to do and have all the success you want to have, and the capacity to enjoy it once you have it.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the women who sustain success over years and decades understand something very important.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: They understand that success is not about burning themselves out.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about proving something, it's not about pushing through every single day, day in and day out.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's about creating systems, habits, boundaries.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: These all allow them to keep showing up over time, long term, over and over and over again.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is anyone can push through during a hard season.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: We have all done it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: You, I'm sure, have done it.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And there might come a time when you need to again.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But sustainable success requires something different.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It requires consistency without collapse.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to give you three shifts that that help put this into practice for you.
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  SPEAKER_00: Tangibles you can immediately start, you know, working with.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Shift number one, it's stop measuring your success by how busy you are.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you do that?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like I'm so busy, I'm so busy, and and it validates, it gives you value, and you equate that with success because it does not equal effective.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Busy does not equal effective.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Busy often means, simply put, that you're simply overextended.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's what it means.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: But this is a trap, it's easy for me to fall into.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned these things too.
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  SPEAKER_00: I was conditioned growing up that way.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Shift number one.
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  SPEAKER_00: I want you to stop equating and measuring your success by how busy you are.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because busy is nothing more than overextended.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: It does not equal effective when it's long-term over and over and endless.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the most successful people I know actually do less.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: They do less, but they do the right things and then they do them consistently.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's the key.
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  SPEAKER_00: They have systems, they have habits, they have boundaries.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, I want you to start protecting your energy like it is your lifeline, like it is oxygen and the air that you breathe.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Literally.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system matters.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system dictates your capacity for life and joy and success and everything that you might want.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And sleep matters.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep matters because you cannot repair, you cannot think straight, you cannot make positive, constructive decisions without enough sleep.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Health matters.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to say the same thing about that.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Your health matters and your mental clarity matters because when your energy is depleted, every single thing becomes harder.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: You get more brain fog, you can't sleep well, you have less energy through the day, decisions become muddier, and you're not quite sure which direction to turn because your brain is lagging behind, your energy levels, you you know, all those things.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: You reach for more coffee, you reach for this, you reach for that, and it's a vicious cycle.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: So shift number three is focusing on small, sustainable shifts.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is something I talk about all the time.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't care whether we are talking about mindset or your soul, the health and wellness of your soul, the health and wellness of your body, the health and wellness of your business, of your career.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Small, sustainable shifts are the way to go every time.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: They become consistent and they layer, they absolutely build, and that's where you find the limitless life you're looking for.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is absolute real transformation when you focus on these versus the big quick fixes and the big overhauls.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the transformations rarely have they, yes, but rarely do they come from these dramatic overhauls that we often all see.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Those shifts, those little small shifts that you repeat consistently over time, they compound.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when you invest, you put your money in the stocks, you put your money in your retirement, you put your money in, you know, maybe not a qu a savings account.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: They don't give you anything these days, but you put your money somewhere.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's$10 a week, which is a very tiny, small little thing, but you make it a habit.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, over the years, that$10 at$10 at$10 to$10 will grow and it compounds.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is what small sustainable shifts will do for you in your business, in your life in general.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to share one more thing.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: After being in business for decades and working with literally thousands of women at all different kinds of stages in their life, you know, whether they were starting businesses or rebuilding their health or, you know, reinventing themselves after divorce or career shifts or major life challenges.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: One pattern shows up again and again and again.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Pattern I had, and I had to be able to see and then begin to correct.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: The women who succeed the longest, the long term, they're not the women who run the fastest.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: They're not.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's a moment to run fast, but they're not the women who run the fastest all the time.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're the women who stay in the race the longest.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that might sound really simple.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually a very profound shift because we live in this world where we are celebrated for intensity.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: We are celebrated for hustle.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: We are celebrated by pushing harder and doing more and proving how much we can handle.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sustainable success, though, healthy sustainable success, especially.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: But sustainable success requires a completely different approach and mindset.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it requires pacing and it requires listening to your body.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: It requires sometimes doing more, but it also requires sometimes doing less and recognizing that, paying attention to your capacity, to the season that you're in in that moment.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this can feel very uncomfortable for responsible women.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: The doing less part can be incredibly uncomfortable for women who are used to being the responsible women.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: So are if you are, if you found yourself feeling uncomfortable with the quiet space or unable to relax or bring your shoulders down when you have the opportunity to, or take a breath and release energy that's pent up in your body, or you have a problem pushing paws or sitting and just doing nothing, chances are you might be this woman who is just so used to being responsible and so used to pushing and so used to doing that it's uncomfortable when you're not.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: But sustainable success requires doing less.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let that land.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember a period of time, a long period of time, I'll add, in my own life where I was doing all of the things that I'm talking about right now, pushing through, pushing through, pushing through, pushing through all the time.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I still will have a moment where I push through something.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: That is always going to be kind of the ebb and flow of things.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying we never do that, but when you're pushing through and you're only pushing through and you're you're just, you know, you're saying yes to everything.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: That might be clients, it might be responsibilities, it might be friends' problems, it might be opportunities, it might be problems that need solving, whether they're yours or someone else's, it might be extra appointments, it can be extra hours trying to prove yourself.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a lot of different things.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're pushing through constantly, constantly, constantly on the outside, you can look successful.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that was me.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I looked successful on the outside, but on the inside, I was very, very uh depleted.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Depleted is the best word I can tell you.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just hardly anything left to give to myself.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever experienced this where you feel like you have nothing left to give yourself and and barely enough left to give the people you love?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not a good place to be.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: So things were growing in the business, and on the surface, work was getting done, clients were happy, you know, family was mostly happy, but I personally was running on empty, like serious empty.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that success, that kind of pushing through that level of activity, that level of doing things was starting to cost my health.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if you hear my stories along the way as these all unfold, it was really affecting my nervous system.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a huge contributor to what was going on in my autoimmune system.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And slowly but surely, inflammation ramped up and stiffness, movement, sleep, brain fog, I can go down a whole long list.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it was costing my peace, it was costing my joy, it was costing my health, literally.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: That is not actually success.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening to this and you can relate to any of it, it's survival.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's not success.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: That realization changed how I approach everything.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of me, you know, asking, what else do I need to do today?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, how can I do more?
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: How can I maximize my schedule?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: How can I squeeze this in?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, all those questions that go through your head.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I started having to ask myself and choosing, acknowledging that I was important enough and my ability to keep being there the way I wanted to be there was important enough for me to change how I was thinking about this, making the shift, and starting, instead of asking myself, how can I do more?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I started saying, what allows me to keep showing up well for the long term?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to add in or take out in order for me to continue on and to show up even more accountable, more on fire, more vibrant, more inspiring, more energetic, and with more genuine joy without the depletion?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the questions I asked myself.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself what allows you to keep showing up well, and that means healthy, not just in a way that you can help others or do more, but healthy for the long term.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: That question alone can change everything.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: So here's one small practical shift that you can try this week.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking yourself, what can I get done today?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Try asking yourself, what actually matters today?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: What are my top three things?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then if I get that done, it's okay.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Have your second top three things.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: You get the picture, right?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can have your third top three things.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: But what are the three things that are non-negotiable at most?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to do to start out with one thing.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I know if you're like me, you're thinking, one, are you kidding me?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do just one.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have too many things to do.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Start thinking what actually matters today?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: What is the absolute most important thing I have to do today and make it no more than three things?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything will need your energy every day like we think it does.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything is equally important.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything has to be done by you.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I will reiterate that.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is a hard one for a lot of us.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything needs to be done by you.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Your success gets easier when you protect your energy intentionally.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Your success is more in alignment.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your health, your wellness, everything.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: When that's more in alignment, your success literally gets easier, not harder.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and your energy is number one because it increases your capacity for all of this.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's not because you're doing less necessarily of your meaningful work.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's because you're doing the right work, you're prioritizing and you are creating boundaries.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: So with my clients, you know, at the office, with my friends, with everybody, okay?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I really focus on encouraging small shifts that are done consistently, that are sustainable versus these big starting overs, big quick fixes, burning everything down kinds of approaches.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where the real reset happens.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I see it over and over.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how you start to create the limitless life and you get back in alignment with yourself.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: So here's another question for you.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'd like you to reflect on this this week.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Where in your life are you trying to create success with more effort, more pushing, instead of creating it with more alignment and sustainable habits?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Where is that?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'd suggest using a journal and asking yourself these questions as they unfold in each of the podcasts, you will be able to look backwards and you'll really be able to get a handle on where you're at, where you want to go, how you're feeling.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: You'll start to see patterns.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because these shifts, they can make all the difference.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you realize where you are pushing through and you're using more and more and more effort to get to the next thing, or just to hold your head above water, and you start to realize that, and you start to reframe, change, and think about small sustainable shifts that can lead you to better alignment.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: That is where real success happens.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that can change everything.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if this conversation resonated with you, I invite you to come join us in the Free Limitless Loving community where we can continue the conversation and where the women support each other in building success and health and meaningful lives without the burnout.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'll put the link in the show notes.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know somebody who maybe needs the little reminder who you think would benefit from today's show, please share this episode.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're enjoying the show, please leave a review.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: This helps other women find these conversations too.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, it's the small, simple, sustainable shifts that create a limitless life and the success you dream of.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the next show.