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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Do You Have An Energy Leak? · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdler's what a week?
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Emily coming back in to your feed with another installment
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: of five Minute Friday.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I feel so many things this week. A lot's been
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: going on.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: One of my best dearest friends left yesterday to move
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: away from New York and that was pretty tough. I
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: also actually had my last session with the therapists that
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I've been seeing since October, and that's where I am
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: bringing us in today's installment of five Minute Friday. For
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: anyone that is new listening to the show, first and
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: foremost welcome to the community. You are now officially a hurdler.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: And so some background five Minute Friday. I share a story,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: something that I'm thinking about lately, I offer you a
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: thought prompt to take you into your weekend, and then
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I offer up some highlights of the week, things that
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I think are awesome, whether that is a person, a
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: piece of content, a podcast episode, something you should buy.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: You get the details.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I also do want to say before we get started,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: this week's hurdle session raised three hundred and fifty dollars
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: for the Loveland Foundation. I had a blast with you,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: and I'm so amped about the direction that this is
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: going and what we will be able to talk about
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: coming down the pipeline upcoming next week. If you're interested
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: in freelance writing, I've got you. Intro to freelance writing
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: is this coming Tuesday. So if you want to sign
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: up for next week's Hurdle session, click on over to
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: a link with the description to this episode. On that note,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: everything you hearing me chat about today, I'll all be
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: linked in there as well. All right, So, as I mentioned,
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  Speaker 2: this week, I had my last session with my therapist.
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  Speaker 1: It was just one of those.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Things where I felt as though I knew that it
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: was time to move on, and I'd felt that way
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  Speaker 2: for a little while. I was super grateful for all
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: of our interactions and really grateful for the takeaways that
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  Speaker 2: I gained during this time and this experience, and I
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: just I knew that it was time to close this chapter.
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  Speaker 2: And so on Wednesday, when we had our call, we
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: went through all of those niceties that you go through
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: with someone when you're talking to them on zoom or
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: the phone, especially during the pandemic, and it's like chatting
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: about the weather, and then it's chatting about the pandemic,
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: and then it's like everything feels the same, but everything
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  Speaker 2: feels different, and I know you all know exactly these
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: niceties that I'm talking about. And so after we got
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: those out of the way, she said to me, I
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: would like for us in our final session to talk
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: about what it is that you feel like you learned
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: about yourself during this time. And that was definitely something
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: that I had been thinking about a lot as well
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: leading into our chat. I came to the conclusion that
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  Speaker 2: I've learned a few things, of course, I would hope so,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: but two pretty dominant things that I am taking away
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: from this time. First and foremost, it really becomes super
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  Speaker 2: clear what things you are giving your energy to when
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: you have forty five minutes every week to talk about yourself.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: So that was takeaway number one, and takeaway number two
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: is that radical vulnerability is really really scary and hard,
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  Speaker 2: especially I mean for me, I feel like oftentimes when
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I get to a place with friends or people I
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: care about where I'm truly truly vulnerable, that a lot
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  Speaker 2: of the time they leave in some sort of way.
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  Speaker 2: All right, So let's not make this episode of down
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  Speaker 2: or I'm going to focus on takeaway number one, and
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: that centers around your energy, so your mental well being,
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  Speaker 2: our mental well being.
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  Speaker 1: It's important period.
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  Speaker 2: I mentioned in the season three announcement that I put
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: up on the substack that it's super important for us
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: all to take care of ourselves. And if you don't
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: take care of yourself, then you can't best show up
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: for other people. It's something that Coach Bennett also talks
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: about in our episode from earlier this week. You need
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  Speaker 2: to protect your energy in every way possible, because.
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  Speaker 1: Your energy, really it's your magic.
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  Speaker 2: This also means that if you're going to give an
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  Speaker 2: abundant amount of your energy to any one thing, then
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  Speaker 2: it's got to be something that truly truly fills you
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  Speaker 2: up in one way or another. And there are different
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  Speaker 2: ways that certain things or people can provide that in
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  Speaker 2: your life. So I'll give you an example. Let's talk
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  Speaker 2: about training for a marathon. It's in a that has
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: a huge, large, big opportunity cost, which means that you
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  Speaker 2: are going to give up a lot of opportunities to
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  Speaker 2: go for this one big opportunity. You will skip out
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  Speaker 2: on happy hours with friends, you'll probably wake up earlier
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  Speaker 2: to get in these training runs. Your body, oh my god,
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  Speaker 2: black toenails, sore muscles, eight geyback, you name it. You
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  Speaker 2: run the risk of becoming that person that just constantly
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: talks about running in social situations and you might not
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  Speaker 2: even realize it. And I am so the head person
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  Speaker 2: sometimes anyway. Okay, So the marathon, it requires a lot
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  Speaker 2: of opportunity costs, and it requires a lot of your energy.
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  Speaker 2: So then now that we recognize that, you have to
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  Speaker 2: ask yourself, right, is this thing a thing that I
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  Speaker 2: want to do? Is it making me better? Do I
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  Speaker 2: feel like I am getting a return on my investment?
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  Speaker 2: Does it make me feel good? And if the answer
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  Speaker 2: to some of these questions is no, then I would
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  Speaker 2: encourage you to ask yourself why it is that you
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: want to do this thing in the first place. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: So that's an example of something that can take a
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  Speaker 2: lot of your energy and how it could be good
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  Speaker 2: for you or perhaps not good for you. Another example,
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  Speaker 2: I'll get a little personal here. I remember months and
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  Speaker 2: months and months ago, I was talking to my therapist
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  Speaker 2: about someone that I had been dating and it had
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  Speaker 2: been going on for some time, and she kind of
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  Speaker 2: stopped me mid sentence, which she didn't do often, and
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  Speaker 2: she said to me, does this person make you happy?
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  Speaker 2: And I immediately like my gut reaction was to get
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  Speaker 2: so defensive with her. In my head, I'm like, what
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  Speaker 2: do you mean, does this person make me happy? I
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: have told you that he made me happy. I told
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  Speaker 2: you about our first kiss and how it was great
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  Speaker 2: and all these things.
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  Speaker 1: And I realized in my.
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  Speaker 2: Head, I'm laying there like not saying anything but doing
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  Speaker 2: a lot of mental processing at the time, that I'm
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  Speaker 2: getting really defensive. And within a few seconds I realized
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  Speaker 2: that my gut had said something at first, but the
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: answer was that lately, no, this person doesn't make me happy. I,
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: in that relationship had been holding onto so much of
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  Speaker 2: the good from before, hoping that that good would come back.
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  Speaker 2: And in that process of this hope, I was letting
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  Speaker 2: this person and this relationship drain me of really important energy.
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  Speaker 2: I remember I had a conversation with Christy Godsow, and
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  Speaker 2: I'll link this in the show notes as well, where
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  Speaker 2: we called this scenario an energy leak. What I came
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  Speaker 2: to realize is when you consciously stop giving your energy
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  Speaker 2: to things or people that don't deserve it, then good
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  Speaker 2: things they can happen. Time freeze up, and that process
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  Speaker 2: is one that I would say is certainly ever evolving.
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  Speaker 2: And lifelong. In that process, you become a happier version
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: of yourself. You're more capable to show up for the
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  Speaker 2: things that are worthy of your energy.
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  Speaker 1: And I think that's pretty awesome. At the end of
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  Speaker 1: the day.
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  Speaker 2: What I'm trying to say here is that I think
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  Speaker 2: I think you're great. And I know that's kind of
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  Speaker 2: weird for me to say into this microphone from where
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  Speaker 2: I am and where you are, and the fact that
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  Speaker 2: we don't really even know each other maybe at all.
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  Speaker 1: But the thing is is that I know this.
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  Speaker 2: I know that we all deserve to surround ourselves with
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  Speaker 2: people and things that fill us up, period. And it
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  Speaker 2: took me hearing myself talk for almost a year with
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  Speaker 2: this one woman, both on a couch and over Skype,
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  Speaker 2: to get to a place that I can say this
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  Speaker 2: with so much certainty. And so by getting transparent with
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  Speaker 2: thousands and thousands of people who listen to this podcast,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: my goal is that you'll learn a little something. And
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: as coach Bennett said in the episode Familier this Week,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: he said, if you do I don't listen and learn
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  Speaker 2: from people's life lessons, then you're an idiot. I don't
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  Speaker 2: think i'd be as blunt as that I think everybody's
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: a little bit different. But maybe, just maybe this will
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  Speaker 2: encourage you my story to do a personal audit as well.
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  Speaker 2: Prompt for the week, what is one thing in your
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  Speaker 2: life that's draining your energy and what is one thing
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  Speaker 2: that excites you that you can replace it with? All right, now,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Highlights of the week. You've got to check out this website.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: It's called looks like you Need Iceland dot Com Again,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: looks like you need Iceland dot Com. Basically, you go
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: to this website, you click a button and you scream.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: And I know that sounds bizarre, but that scream is
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: then broadcasted over this small yellow speaker, well rather large
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: yellow speaker that is somewhere in the open fields of Iceland.
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  Speaker 2: And they show you a video of and it is
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  Speaker 2: hilarious and so necessary. Please someone tag me in a
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: video of them doing this today. When you listen to this,
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  Speaker 2: I need to experience the joy with you.
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  Speaker 1: It's so awesome.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Another highlight of the week the episode of How I
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Built This with the Tacha founder Vicky Sai. Tacha it's
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: a collection of luxury beauty products from Japan. Last year,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Unilever acquired it for a reported astounding five hundred million dollars.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: And her founder's story is so interesting, especially as a
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: New Yorker. She talks about living in the city during
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: nine to eleven and she has faced so, so so
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: many hurdles in her career to get to where she
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: is today. And I'm telling you, if you want to
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: hear a story about resiliency and determination, this woman has
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: got you. Also highlight of the week join Club Hurdlers
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: on Strava. I'm super excited about this. I've been wanting
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: to start this club on there for a long time.
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  Speaker 2: We're already one hundred and fifty plus members strong. Just
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: go into your Strava app, look into the clubs. It's
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: a running club. It's called Hurdler's and join and there
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: we can celebrate each other's achievements and some awesome running
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: and movement, no matter what.
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  Speaker 1: That looks like for you.
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  Speaker 2: And I do want to give a shout out to
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Christy Malley who tackled twenty.
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  Speaker 1: Three plus miles this week. Impress it.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: And last highlight of the week is I'm going to
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: share with you I just bought a new journal. It's
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: by a company called Baron Fig It's a hardcover notebook
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: that I'm obsessed with. I have no affiliation with Baron
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: fig but this journal is just like the perfect journal,
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: and that it's got like great distance spread lines, which
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I think is clutch. It's also got a nice cloth cover,
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: a perfect little bookmark. I'm such a writing nerd, but
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: as you can tell, I really appreciate the little things,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: and so I would highly, highly encourage you to.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Grab one of these notebooks yourself. Again. Links to all
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: this stuff in the show notes to this episode.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: As always, please connect with Hurdle on social media at
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Hurdle Podcasts, at Emily a Body if you have a
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Hurdle moment of your own to share or just want
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: to say hi Emily at Hurdle us. And if you
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: haven't done so yet, make sure pretty pretty please to
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: sign up for the weekly Hurdle newsletter. I seriously, seriously
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: appreciate everyone who has offered me a payment to be
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: a regular subscriber. It is not necessary, but so so
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: appreciated this community this week. It's really filling me up
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: just as much as it certainly is a fair share
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: of work to show up in this feed three times
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: each week put out this newsletter. To do these hurdle sessions,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: the energy that I am getting back from all of you,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: it is certainly certainly worthwhile.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: And that's it.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Happy weekend, y'all, Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.