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Transcript

How Making A Documentary Taught Will Tober to Let God Define What Success Looks Like · I Don't Know You

0:04
SPEAKER_00: hey i'm matt i'm a jesus follower husband father son and friend
0:10
SPEAKER_00: who is deeply curious about people's creativity
0:13
SPEAKER_00: and how we unleash our unique talents onto a world that needs them today i'm joined
0:18
SPEAKER_00: by will tober he's a jesus follower husband and family man
0:22
SPEAKER_00: he's got some pretty unique experiences like producing a film called
0:25
SPEAKER_00: the dropbox sitting on the board of pregnancy resource center as well
0:30
SPEAKER_00: as founding 100 companies that care an organization that helps fund nonprofits
0:34
SPEAKER_00: in orange county through a cool business model we discuss family fatherhood
0:39
SPEAKER_00: and managing the tension of carrying so many things within that realm
0:42
SPEAKER_00: and how saying yes can be both a superpower and one's kryptonite enjoy
0:47
SPEAKER_00: that sounds like a crazy summer though
0:49
SPEAKER_01: yeah i mean it's like as a parent you go back and forth between oh like school's
0:55
SPEAKER_01: over we're excited for summer let's like not have anything planned yeah
1:01
SPEAKER_01: because we want to just have free time and be able to go to the beach and stuff and
1:04
SPEAKER_01: then you realize really quickly that the kids get restless yeah and then you
1:08
SPEAKER_01: correct and then you're like okay we're gonna put them in every camp but
1:12
SPEAKER_01: then you kind of screw yourself because then you're shuttling them all and
1:15
SPEAKER_01: then it's just really busy it's like how does work happen and the summer goes
1:18
SPEAKER_01: by really fast yeah
1:20
SPEAKER_00: yeah so you guys do you guys have like a rhythm of like vacation during
1:25
SPEAKER_01: the summer we took a couple vacations earlier in the year um
1:30
SPEAKER_01: so we only have like one camping trip okay planned sweet uh yeah so we'll do
1:36
SPEAKER_00: that that's the move with multiple kids
1:38
SPEAKER_00: where it's just like it becomes much cheaper yeah and you get everybody in
1:42
SPEAKER_00: a car instead of like a plane or whatever yeah it's
1:45
SPEAKER_01: a little easier logistically you can make the trip
1:47
SPEAKER_01: a little shorter it's obviously less expensive
1:50
SPEAKER_01: it does get tricky because we where we camp it's at altitude it's like near yosemite
1:55
SPEAKER_01: and so and we tent camp yeah so we're probably gonna leave our little one behind
2:00
SPEAKER_01: with someone for a few days just to avoid yeah that all the deal yeah
2:05
SPEAKER_01: and allow ourselves to actually unwind a little bit and go go hiking
2:10
SPEAKER_01: and like we'll hike and fish and jump in the lake have you fished a lot
2:15
SPEAKER_01: not not a ton but when we're there we love it okay yeah so it's like a it's
2:20
SPEAKER_01: a destination well we do it we do it here
2:22
SPEAKER_01: a little bit obviously more like ocean stuff or when we take other trips
2:26
SPEAKER_01: but definitely when we're there that's a big part of it yeah okay sweet
2:31
SPEAKER_00: so it's awesome nice it's a good time but yeah other than
2:33
SPEAKER_01: that we're just we're home we're just you know trying to enjoy summer we're hosting
2:37
SPEAKER_01: a big
2:38
SPEAKER_01: fourth of july thing so that's been that sounds a big week of prep yeah okay yeah
2:43
SPEAKER_00: so are you like observed is friday so everybody has that off right yes and we do
2:48
SPEAKER_01: in our neighborhood we have like a little golf cart parade so fun which is fun and
2:52
SPEAKER_01: then there's like bands playing and a little potluck that they do and then on
2:56
SPEAKER_01: the fourth
2:58
SPEAKER_01: it's mostly just i mean we have to set up either the night before or really early
3:03
SPEAKER_01: that morning and it's a really long day and then we usually have people
3:08
SPEAKER_01: over around six o'clock at our place until fireworks okay
3:12
SPEAKER_01: and bedtimes just like don't exist yes okay i mean we'll probably put our little guy
3:17
SPEAKER_01: down yeah and then you know be hanging out and then maybe one of us stays back and
3:22
SPEAKER_00: the other
3:23
SPEAKER_00: well you guys are yeah you probably get all kinds of people
3:26
SPEAKER_01: because it's just like right there yeah we're it's sort of that's what we love
3:30
SPEAKER_01: about it is we're on the way to and from the beach for most people so we get a lot
3:35
SPEAKER_01: of impromptu hangs which is so fun yeah uh but it can be a lot
3:40
SPEAKER_01: on those days you know like we were we were out the other day trying
3:44
SPEAKER_01: to we're redoing our yard okay right now and so we were like talking during
3:49
SPEAKER_01: that season yeah i know we were talking about certain things that we were
3:54
SPEAKER_01: debating and trying to make a decision that should have taken us like 20 minutes
3:58
SPEAKER_01: but we had like four of our friends come to and from the beach and like stop by
4:04
SPEAKER_00: and say hi they were like i'm armchair expert over here well not even
4:08
SPEAKER_01: that it was just like you know stopped us from actually doing the thing
4:12
SPEAKER_01: that we came out there to do so it ended up taking us like two hours to do something
4:15
SPEAKER_01: that would have taken 20 minutes but like what was it
4:17
SPEAKER_01: that you were doing yeah we were just chatting with them and like catching up
4:21
SPEAKER_01: on stuff instead of
4:23
SPEAKER_01: oh i mean with the yard we were just trying to decide like
4:27
SPEAKER_01: where we put hedges oh okay in the yard so it was like a little decision
4:30
SPEAKER_00: so there's like a little bit
4:31
SPEAKER_01: of privacy yeah like we're gonna have we have this like fence and
4:35
SPEAKER_01: so we were gonna just put hedges along it but we were trying
4:37
SPEAKER_01: to figure out do we do like the entire perimeter and there's just like some spaces
4:41
SPEAKER_01: that we were trying to make sense of nice yeah and
4:44
SPEAKER_00: then it ended up taking 10 minutes at the end
4:47
SPEAKER_01: at the end yeah yeah and we kind of like could have made that decision immediately
4:54
SPEAKER_01: with as many of these things work we could have probably just done
4:57
SPEAKER_01: the first thing we thought of and then that would have been a thing that's often
5:00
SPEAKER_00: the best answer is the first and simplest your first instinct yeah totally
5:04
SPEAKER_00: but that's like the beauty and joy of community i feel like
5:07
SPEAKER_00: for sure it's just like people interrupting you oh yeah
5:10
SPEAKER_00: and like it's probably annoying on some level
5:12
SPEAKER_01: but it doesn't no it's never annoying it's more of just
5:17
SPEAKER_00: you have to account for it you know yes yeah and when you don't
5:20
SPEAKER_00: then it's like oh my expectations are different yes
5:23
SPEAKER_00: than i actually thought it was gonna be right
5:25
SPEAKER_00: because i don't know that's like fourth of july
5:27
SPEAKER_00: and single mini is like oh huge deal i i don't want to advertise it
5:31
SPEAKER_00: because i feel like it's already too advertised but it's so oh it's
5:36
SPEAKER_01: the best yeah it is it is like a
5:39
SPEAKER_01: it's the truest representation of what this town is
5:42
SPEAKER_00: in my opinion you know yeah american red blooded yeah but like the beach also being
5:48
SPEAKER_01: the center point of everything that we do yeah here so yeah it's
5:51
SPEAKER_00: a fun time yeah we've never we've never been down here like down here at like maine
5:58
SPEAKER_00: for like the fireworks oh yeah but from our apartment we used to be able
6:02
SPEAKER_00: to just watch it on our outside nice i know
6:05
SPEAKER_00: and then of course you get all the like nobody's sleeping
6:08
SPEAKER_00: through we always wondered like what would it be like to have kids down here
6:11
SPEAKER_00: because it's just like fireworks at night have those started uh i think they have
6:16
SPEAKER_01: a little bit i haven't heard as many it's usually more after the fourth okay
6:20
SPEAKER_01: that will for like
6:21
SPEAKER_01: the next month yeah just get random fireworks popping off every now and then yeah
6:26
SPEAKER_00: but you're just like the first couple times it's like yeah am i in a war zone and
6:29
SPEAKER_01: then our daughter was a little
6:31
SPEAKER_01: gun shy about the fireworks for a while i think she'll do better
6:34
SPEAKER_01: with it makes sense yeah we'll see i know dude that's exciting so fun
6:38
SPEAKER_01: an exciting season dude it is it really is we're super blessed it's been a fun
6:43
SPEAKER_00: a fun time well i'm very grateful that you're taking the time yeah um to to sit down
6:48
SPEAKER_00: and hang out and uh i don't know the first time
6:51
SPEAKER_00: that we talked i was like oh it'll be so amazing to record one of our conversations
6:55
SPEAKER_00: because i i think like
6:56
SPEAKER_00: i don't know we were just vibing totally good time yeah so um and especially
7:00
SPEAKER_00: with your background and stuff like i feel like there's so much stuff
7:03
SPEAKER_00: that i've already learned from the one time that we talked and then like all
7:07
SPEAKER_00: the people that you introduced me to yeah um and at some point i want to give you
7:12
SPEAKER_00: an update on all that oh yeah for sure i'd love to hear that
7:14
SPEAKER_00: but uh yeah i'm just super grateful that you're willing to take the time in
7:18
SPEAKER_00: the busyness of summer yeah for sure yeah i i kind of want to focus more
7:23
SPEAKER_00: of our conversation on
7:25
SPEAKER_00: uh kind of the non-profit stuff that you've been doing um but that's not
7:30
SPEAKER_00: to say like one of my questions is around like how do you do it
7:35
SPEAKER_00: even the summer where it's like I'm with family I'm doing a bunch of stuff and
7:39
SPEAKER_00: then it's also like oh I'm also really successful and good at my career
7:45
SPEAKER_00: but that's like my day job and then I'm also like managing and founded like
7:50
SPEAKER_00: a non-profit and then I'm like oh I'm on a board of another non-profit
7:53
SPEAKER_00: over here it's like I think that's part of the theme of this conversation
7:59
SPEAKER_00: to me is like how especially as someone that's like just starting the journey
8:04
SPEAKER_00: of two kids
8:05
SPEAKER_00: yeah and trying to figure out like well how do i what is my career and what do i do
8:09
SPEAKER_00: with it um like how do i not put too much on my plate but then like i look
8:14
SPEAKER_00: at someone like you and i'm like oh you're you're doing so much man
8:17
SPEAKER_01: and it seems like you're doing it so well well that's yeah that's where appearances
8:22
SPEAKER_01: and reality sometimes are have a disconnect because i feel like i'm fumbling it all
8:26
SPEAKER_01: the time you know where you're just
8:29
SPEAKER_01: spread thin and you know not giving everything you need to
8:33
SPEAKER_01: and all these different areas i feel like that's just one of the biggest challenges
8:37
SPEAKER_01: to being a man honestly is that idea of balance and investing what is needed
8:45
SPEAKER_01: in all these different areas like being expected to be you know a good husband and
8:49
SPEAKER_01: a good father and a provider and a member of your community and a friend and a son
8:53
SPEAKER_01: and all these other identities that we have
8:57
SPEAKER_01: it's really challenging and i struggle with it all the time uh
9:01
SPEAKER_01: and i feel like i'm just you know doing my best and that's
9:04
SPEAKER_01: where like you're crushing it i mean like i will say i think the the foundation
9:08
SPEAKER_01: of faith like plays a huge role in that of just having something that centers me and
9:14
SPEAKER_01: at the end of the day being able to release control over you know how i'm doing
9:20
SPEAKER_01: in all of those areas and not you i mean you know you're a dad it's like
9:25
SPEAKER_01: right now i'm in this really crazy stage of parenting where you know i've got
9:29
SPEAKER_01: a seven almost eight year old who has he just needs a different type of parenting
9:34
SPEAKER_01: from me than i've had to offer you know for so far in his life and so
9:40
SPEAKER_01: there's so many times where i feel like i'm failing and i'm messing him up
9:45
SPEAKER_01: and you know all of those things and without the confidence
9:50
SPEAKER_01: that like god's got it you know at the end of the day and then i can trust him
9:54
SPEAKER_01: to really be his father and as long as i'm pointing him to his real father
10:00
SPEAKER_01: that like it's going to be okay or similarly like as a husband or you know
10:05
SPEAKER_01: in my professional life it's like
10:08
SPEAKER_01: without that i would probably have like a nervous breakdown
10:11
SPEAKER_01: or something you know honestly um but yeah i i've like practically tried
10:16
SPEAKER_01: to like develop some parameters in my life that make some of those things
10:21
SPEAKER_01: a little bit easier to manage like you know with work i am in most days by like 8 30
10:30
SPEAKER_01: and i'm home pretty much
10:32
SPEAKER_01: as a non-negotiable by 5 30 and so i've had to get really good
10:39
SPEAKER_01: at maximizing those hours that i'm willing to dedicate to work so
10:43
SPEAKER_01: that i can be fully present and fully invested at home or
10:48
SPEAKER_01: in whatever other areas are being asked of me
10:51
SPEAKER_01: and that usually requires when it's like self-limiting on some level because in
10:56
SPEAKER_01: the line of work i'm in if you do dedicate more like you can make more and
11:00
SPEAKER_01: so i've had to get comfortable with that idea that hey again back to like
11:05
SPEAKER_01: the faith thing it's like god's gonna provide yeah right and i'm gonna give my best
11:10
SPEAKER_01: within these parameters that i feel like are in line with the higher priorities
11:15
SPEAKER_01: that i've
11:16
SPEAKER_01: identified and and then i'm gonna be okay if i'm leaving something on
11:20
SPEAKER_01: the table you know um because i believe and recognize that this area
11:25
SPEAKER_01: of my life is more important and more impactful and needs just as much of me yeah um
11:32
SPEAKER_01: so that's been helpful but it does also require me to say no to a lot of things and
11:36
SPEAKER_01: that i'm not very good at so i'm constantly constantly working on that um
11:42
SPEAKER_01: but yeah i think you know on the non-profit side like
11:46
SPEAKER_01: i've really like honed in on a couple of areas that are super important
11:50
SPEAKER_01: to me right like i'm involved with my church i'm involved in
11:56
SPEAKER_01: the pregnancy resource center and then i've got this like hundred companies
11:59
SPEAKER_01: that care thing and so those are like the three things
12:02
SPEAKER_01: and thankfully they don't require a ton of my time yeah like on a regular basis
12:07
SPEAKER_01: so that's helpful
12:09
SPEAKER_01: um but yeah i'm fumbling
12:11
SPEAKER_01: through it most days you know i don't definitely don't feel like i've got it
12:14
SPEAKER_00: under control that's encouraging to hear yeah definitely don't
12:16
SPEAKER_00: and it doesn't seem like you're fumbling yeah yeah again like i don't want
12:21
SPEAKER_01: to ever try
12:22
SPEAKER_01: to appear like i've got it all figured out i'm just i feel like everyone's in
12:26
SPEAKER_01: the same boat we're just figuring it out you know totally there's no handbook
12:30
SPEAKER_00: for this
12:31
SPEAKER_00: i yeah i resonate with that on a deep level even just like what you're talking about
12:35
SPEAKER_00: with your son where it's like oh i'm in a new season of parenting
12:38
SPEAKER_00: where it's like i've never had a did you say seven year old he's seven turning eight
12:43
SPEAKER_00: and it's like i don't know what that's totally
12:45
SPEAKER_00: where it's like oh i just experienced my first like meltdown with my daughter
12:49
SPEAKER_00: about like yeah my other daughter yeah that's like a week and
12:52
SPEAKER_00: a half old right it's like
12:54
SPEAKER_00: how do i handle that yeah we were both just looking at each other and we're like
12:59
SPEAKER_00: and shelby's dad is like behind shelby and i'm like i don't want
13:02
SPEAKER_00: to screw this like he's looking at me but then i'm like oh
13:05
SPEAKER_00: but he only had one daughter so you know this is new territory totally for him too
13:09
SPEAKER_00: and it's like i don't know do i ask for his advice even though he's only
13:13
SPEAKER_00: at like it's just such an interesting it is so tough it's really
13:16
SPEAKER_01: so tough it's just there's so many things in life that you encounter that
13:23
SPEAKER_01: you're not supposed to know how to solve you know and so like part of the journey is
13:27
SPEAKER_00: in the figuring it out yeah well and that also feels like a huge piece of
13:32
SPEAKER_00: the community too which is like i mean going back to the idea
13:36
SPEAKER_00: of living somewhere like this where it's like oh there's so much built-in community
13:41
SPEAKER_00: where like in your front yard you have friends and stuff like just meeting you
13:46
SPEAKER_00: while you're planning your landscape and it's like oh actually like the the water um
13:53
SPEAKER_00: the water cooler moments that happen in life well and i think what's funny about
13:57
SPEAKER_01: that is it's less about the community offering you solutions
14:01
SPEAKER_01: in most cases like there are times where i've gotten really good pieces of advice
14:04
SPEAKER_01: from friends or family or whatever that i've surely used and have like become a part
14:10
SPEAKER_01: of how i approach things but
14:12
SPEAKER_01: i think more than that it's just having conversations like this
14:15
SPEAKER_01: of like oh that's right no one has this figured out right we're all in
14:19
SPEAKER_01: the same boat we're all just trying to figure out how to make it through the day
14:24
SPEAKER_00: and you know what works what doesn't work what works for them
14:27
SPEAKER_00: because their kids are different or whatever it is
14:29
SPEAKER_00: but i think it's mostly just feeling like you're not alone
14:32
SPEAKER_01: yeah you know like the problems that you're encountering aren't unique to you yeah
14:37
SPEAKER_00: which is so you so odd to the human experience to me like
14:40
SPEAKER_00: because rationally i understand like well this stuff has already happened
14:43
SPEAKER_00: for like all of human history and still it feels like
14:47
SPEAKER_00: i'm the only one dealing with this yeah which is such
14:49
SPEAKER_01: a unique phenomenon i mean part of it is you know you're usually interacting
14:56
SPEAKER_01: with people via like social media or whatever like surface level conversations
15:01
SPEAKER_01: where you're not really getting behind totally what how they're really doing yeah um
15:06
SPEAKER_01: and so that's where having a community where you can go there with someone
15:09
SPEAKER_01: and get there easy yeah uh does make a difference because then
15:13
SPEAKER_01: i think it just again removes some of the pressure and expectation that we put
15:18
SPEAKER_01: on ourselves to say like okay we're all doing our best right we're all failing
15:23
SPEAKER_01: in certain areas succeeding in others you know growing all the time and you know
15:30
SPEAKER_01: when you get to do that in a community you can feel okay about it yeah well you kind
15:35
SPEAKER_00: of i think level up faster because people are still failing
15:40
SPEAKER_00: they're failing at different things at the same rate or whatever
15:43
SPEAKER_00: so you can learn i mean that was like part of the part of the weird unlock i think
15:47
SPEAKER_00: of being the youngest is that you have like yeah older siblings that like fail
15:52
SPEAKER_00: for you and you're like oh mom and dad reacted that way when andrew did
15:56
SPEAKER_00: that thing yeah like i'm not gonna do that totally totally um
15:59
SPEAKER_00: and it just it gives you another way to learn faster yeah yeah it's
16:05
SPEAKER_01: so true i know even parenting an older sibling
16:09
SPEAKER_01: because my wife and i are both the oldest in our families and you were
16:13
SPEAKER_01: the guinea pigs we were and as a result i don't know i don't know if we're harder
16:19
SPEAKER_01: or easier on my son it feels like we're probably harder but i think we
16:23
SPEAKER_01: because we got through it we're like you're gonna get through it too totally um
16:27
SPEAKER_01: but we see it because the way we parent our oldest because all of the problems
16:31
SPEAKER_01: that we're encountering with him are new that we're tackling for the first time and
16:36
SPEAKER_01: then when we
16:37
SPEAKER_01: parent those same issues with our next kid or our kid after that it's
16:42
SPEAKER_01: a totally different framing because we know how to navigate it or we have like
16:47
SPEAKER_01: an idea about how to navigate it and we also know when it ends or around
16:51
SPEAKER_01: when it ends or how it plays out and so yeah it's tough it's tough to parent
16:56
SPEAKER_01: an oldest it's tough to be an oldest like there there is a unique responsibility to
17:01
SPEAKER_00: that yeah i think that's part of even in this meltdown yesterday
17:05
SPEAKER_00: that our daughter had it was like
17:07
SPEAKER_00: because she was like pretending to like hit our newborn yeah
17:12
SPEAKER_01: and we're like that's not cool yeah and then
17:14
SPEAKER_01: of course like she doesn't know she's just jealous or whatever yeah um but
17:18
SPEAKER_00: then it's like
17:19
SPEAKER_00: trying to explain to her and she's only two
17:21
SPEAKER_00: so like how much does she really understand trying to explain the idea
17:25
SPEAKER_00: of like well you're you're like the oldest so you have
17:27
SPEAKER_00: to protect your baby sister you have to like be there for her right and be
17:31
SPEAKER_00: that support to her and so like that's a lesson i kind of want to i mean it's in
17:35
SPEAKER_00: the very early stages of being learned but like yeah
17:39
SPEAKER_00: over time it's just it feels like the consistency of just like
17:43
SPEAKER_00: over time this will become more of a thing and you'll get this idea but like in
17:47
SPEAKER_00: the short term it's just like okay i guess you're like not gonna be around i know
17:51
SPEAKER_00: you're not gonna be close yeah it's so hard because
17:53
SPEAKER_00: then they yeah i don't know it's just such an interesting it is yeah there's so many
17:58
SPEAKER_01: of those dynamics that you know you you want to see certain traits
18:04
SPEAKER_01: in your kids probably earlier than it's reasonable to expect them
18:09
SPEAKER_01: but you also don't want that to lead you to
18:13
SPEAKER_01: ignoring yeah right like those parenting opportunities i feel like so much
18:17
SPEAKER_01: of parenting is just being patient and it's really hard
18:20
SPEAKER_00: to be patient yes you know that's that's wisdom right there i hate that answer
18:24
SPEAKER_00: because i'm like
18:25
SPEAKER_01: the least patient person ever we all are yeah we're all super impatient i mean
18:29
SPEAKER_01: that's just the nature of our society and culture and everything else but and just
18:36
SPEAKER_01: as humans but yeah i think that generally is uh
18:42
SPEAKER_00: attribute we could all use a little bit yeah yeah i feel that well you
18:46
SPEAKER_00: so you grew up around here and you uh basically were developed
18:52
SPEAKER_00: by this area too yeah um what were the things that like got you excited
18:58
SPEAKER_00: because you're like
18:59
SPEAKER_00: you do a lot of stuff like your your hands are in a lot of pies so to speak like was
19:04
SPEAKER_00: that always the case growing up or was that something
19:06
SPEAKER_00: that you were like oh i now i'm interested in this thing and you would kind
19:10
SPEAKER_00: of move around or i don't know i think that's a good question i feel like i i have
19:14
SPEAKER_01: a little bit of that like achiever mentality in me even from like
19:20
SPEAKER_01: a young age i was doing all these different sports i you know wanted to excel
19:26
SPEAKER_01: at everything i tried
19:28
SPEAKER_01: i have like a pretty intense fear of failure that i've been working
19:33
SPEAKER_01: to break you know throughout my life because that did prevent me from trying things
19:38
SPEAKER_01: when there was like a real risk of failure so that's been a part of my development
19:43
SPEAKER_01: as a human throughout my life um i think yeah i think i i probably
19:49
SPEAKER_01: on like some deep value that level found some like fulfillment
19:54
SPEAKER_01: in like achieving certain things and that
19:57
SPEAKER_01: yeah so it's i mean i have a propensity definitely to like busy myself and
20:01
SPEAKER_01: to like be in a lot of things and another part
20:04
SPEAKER_01: of it is honestly just like not being good at saying no to things
20:07
SPEAKER_01: so like sometimes that's how it goes i think now i try
20:11
SPEAKER_01: to be more rooted yeah i'm like purpose behind those things but
20:16
SPEAKER_01: to answer your question yeah i think it's been that way for a
20:19
SPEAKER_01: while like i mean i've always had
20:22
SPEAKER_01: goals i think probably in like long-term goals probably a little earlier than a lot
20:26
SPEAKER_01: of my peers did like even from like a faster yeah maybe i mean from
20:31
SPEAKER_01: a younger age i remember just wanting to be a husband and
20:35
SPEAKER_01: a dad like you know especially in like those middle school high school years like
20:40
SPEAKER_01: when i was framing this idea of like dating and what it meant like i couldn't help
20:45
SPEAKER_01: but look through it through that lens that's like a pretty unique
20:48
SPEAKER_01: for sure i think a lot that was definitely again another like core piece
20:52
SPEAKER_01: of what like my faith drove me to believe um i just
20:57
SPEAKER_01: and i couldn't shake it you know like as much as i wanted it to be just casual
21:01
SPEAKER_01: and fun it was always in the back of my mind it was like i'm dating
21:05
SPEAKER_01: for me yeah it's like isn't that the whole point
21:07
SPEAKER_01: of what we're doing here you know what i mean and then similarly even
21:10
SPEAKER_01: with like career
21:11
SPEAKER_01: like i was the kid and it's ironic because i didn't end up doing this but like
21:15
SPEAKER_01: in eighth grade i felt like i knew exactly what i wanted to do so
21:19
SPEAKER_01: which was broadcast journalism i wanted to be a sportscaster
21:22
SPEAKER_01: so what was funny is like i then like okay i want to be that how do i get there yeah
21:28
SPEAKER_01: and then i'm like taking all these pieces of action throughout that process to get
21:33
SPEAKER_01: to to put myself in a position to become that
21:36
SPEAKER_01: so yeah that's just kind of how i'm wired i guess on some level um i'm sure
21:41
SPEAKER_00: that came from my parents probably also came from being the oldest you know and well
21:46
SPEAKER_00: and the expectations that they had as you were the oldest i think there's
21:49
SPEAKER_01: that there's also like i've had sort of this sense of like where i fit
21:56
SPEAKER_01: into this like
21:58
SPEAKER_01: bigger picture legacy of like my grandparents immigrated here on my dad's side
22:03
SPEAKER_01: from mexico
22:04
SPEAKER_01: so they were like first generation americans you know like assimilated made it work
22:10
SPEAKER_01: opened doors up for my dad to be the first person in his family to go
22:13
SPEAKER_01: to college dang and so then i almost felt like i'm carrying this torch of like okay
22:19
SPEAKER_00: and they did a good job of like teaching they must have yeah i don't remember
22:24
SPEAKER_01: like specific conversations about that but they they obviously told me a story
22:30
SPEAKER_01: on some level that i that resonated with me and then it was like okay got it
22:34
SPEAKER_01: so my job is to now take this and build off of the foundation that you've created
22:40
SPEAKER_01: for me and make the most of it and i don't want to let them down sure
22:44
SPEAKER_01: for sure like don't want to let them down and like i want i've always had
22:49
SPEAKER_01: a little bit of wanting to just maximize my potential yeah so
22:54
SPEAKER_01: whatever that looks like and i'm probably arrogant enough
22:58
SPEAKER_00: to believe my potential is like bigger than it actually is or naive enough in
23:03
SPEAKER_01: the best way totally i think it served me well and on some level um and
23:08
SPEAKER_01: so yeah i think that's part of it it's just like i have one life and i want
23:13
SPEAKER_01: to really live it well yeah dang
23:16
SPEAKER_00: so that's another well said pithy wisdom there's going to be
23:21
SPEAKER_00: so many nice little clips yeah yeah i mean i think
23:25
SPEAKER_01: i don't know it's it's like i've had an appreciation
23:30
SPEAKER_01: of how short life is yeah you know and i don't know where that really came
23:36
SPEAKER_01: from other
23:37
SPEAKER_00: than just again my world view um yeah yeah yeah i was just reading ecclesiastes um
23:45
SPEAKER_00: this morning
23:48
SPEAKER_00: uh it's great verse i think it's in chapter seven or something
23:52
SPEAKER_00: where it's like it's better to be it's better to die than to be born yeah
23:56
SPEAKER_00: and it was just like that's such a crazy statement coming from like the wisest guy
24:01
SPEAKER_00: that ever lived yeah but it was such an interesting concept to me of like oh like
24:06
SPEAKER_00: but our time is so limited what are we going to do with it and then like
24:09
SPEAKER_00: before we know it it's going to be yeah and it's it's better to have that event than
24:14
SPEAKER_00: to like come into the world totally well yeah and
24:17
SPEAKER_01: that i always love reading ecclesiastes from just a perspective
24:24
SPEAKER_01: of grounding myself yeah when you get caught up in
24:28
SPEAKER_01: kind of ironic that we're building off of this idea of like me being an achiever
24:32
SPEAKER_01: but like none of it matters yeah at the end of the day right other than the stuff
24:36
SPEAKER_01: that does yeah and so reminding yourself that everything is dust in
24:42
SPEAKER_01: the wind you know at the end of the day and that only
24:46
SPEAKER_01: the only thing that'll last are the holy spirit level relationships
24:53
SPEAKER_01: and conversations that will you know yeah take
24:58
SPEAKER_01: you know go on to eternity yeah like everything else is just they're good things
25:04
SPEAKER_01: that aren't totally
25:05
SPEAKER_01: like ultimately meaningful beyond the enjoyment you get out of them yeah that's
25:10
SPEAKER_00: the strange paradox of like work yeah and like working and toiling it's like good
25:16
SPEAKER_00: for us god created it for us but then it's also like well put it in
25:20
SPEAKER_00: the right place totally and then yeah yeah i'm a big believer
25:24
SPEAKER_01: and yeah it's like less about what you're doing and more about like
25:28
SPEAKER_01: who you're becoming along the way
25:30
SPEAKER_01: yeah a thousand percent and i think that's a big reason for work
25:35
SPEAKER_01: in my mind is sure like do am i passionate
25:38
SPEAKER_01: about what i do yes do i think there's like some good
25:41
SPEAKER_01: in what i do absolutely are there opportunities to build relationships
25:43
SPEAKER_01: and have cool conversations and like invest in that kingdom yes but i also think
25:50
SPEAKER_01: a big piece of what that does spiritually is just give me a forum to learn things
25:57
SPEAKER_01: that god wants to teach me
25:59
SPEAKER_00: yeah as a lifelong learner then it's just like setting up the next lesson
26:02
SPEAKER_00: where do you get the next lesson from yeah exactly yeah that's well said
26:07
SPEAKER_00: that's the thing that's so fun about these conversations
26:09
SPEAKER_00: to me is like no i would be having them either way but now
26:13
SPEAKER_00: that i'm recording them like i can look back yeah i almost want
26:17
SPEAKER_00: to view these conversations as a time capsule for sure i'm like oh
26:20
SPEAKER_00: that was like amazing what will said right there like and it's going to fit into
26:25
SPEAKER_00: the context that i'm totally yeah that's how it works like evolve
26:29
SPEAKER_01: as we are our experiences change yeah yeah
26:33
SPEAKER_00: so you you grow up here you go to sc you you play football there yeah like
26:38
SPEAKER_01: a little bit yeah i walked on my senior year so
26:42
SPEAKER_01: that was like another interesting thing that i feel like reveals a little bit about
26:47
SPEAKER_01: who i am like i
26:49
SPEAKER_01: i was like i was a decent football player in high school i had some opportunities
26:53
SPEAKER_01: to play at some smaller schools like that i was sort of recruited
26:57
SPEAKER_01: by ultimately was very self-aware to be like all right i'm not going to be
27:03
SPEAKER_01: an nfl football player like again that was even beyond my delusions of my potential
27:09
SPEAKER_01: so i was like all right well i'm just gonna pick a school that i want to go to and
27:13
SPEAKER_01: that will serve what i think is like going to be my career yeah and so i chose usc
27:18
SPEAKER_01: and was fortunate enough to get in and um was just a student and
27:22
SPEAKER_01: then my brother my younger brother who was a better football player
27:27
SPEAKER_01: than me got offered a preferred walk-on opportunity at usc which is really cool and
27:32
SPEAKER_01: so he was going to be on the team and playing and
27:35
SPEAKER_01: that basically means they help you get into school there's a spot on the roster
27:40
SPEAKER_01: for you but you don't get any scholarship money he did end up earning
27:44
SPEAKER_01: a scholarship his senior year which was awesome
27:47
SPEAKER_01: but i was like okay am i gonna regret not at least giving this a go you know i'm
27:53
SPEAKER_01: at my dream school that i grew up going to all these football games to watch
27:57
SPEAKER_01: and i'm here and my younger brother's gonna be on the team like how cool would
28:00
SPEAKER_01: that be to play and so i ended up walking on the spring semester of my junior year
28:05
SPEAKER_00: and just playing for one season sweet yeah that sounds like
28:08
SPEAKER_00: so much fun it was awesome and then what was his position he was a receiver
28:12
SPEAKER_01: so i was a defensive back okay um
28:15
SPEAKER_00: so it's fun yeah you guys interact i i know literally nothing about football
28:19
SPEAKER_01: so we thought we would we thought there would be opportunities for me
28:22
SPEAKER_01: to like guard him you know and like practice
28:23
SPEAKER_01: and stuff he ended up getting hurt um pretty early on that year
28:27
SPEAKER_01: and was out pretty much the whole season
28:30
SPEAKER_01: but yeah lots of photos of us on the sideline together that was where most
28:33
SPEAKER_00: of our playing occurred you know well to be on the the turf
28:37
SPEAKER_01: or whatever yeah i think my parents enjoyed it more
28:40
SPEAKER_01: than anybody just you know they got eight free tickets to all the home games
28:44
SPEAKER_01: because both of us were on the team and so they got
28:46
SPEAKER_01: to bring all their friends okay okay
28:49
SPEAKER_01: it was it was very cool like very cool experience i got and then i got
28:51
SPEAKER_01: to watch my brother after he played all four years so
28:54
SPEAKER_01: that was how much younger is he three years okay yeah so i was a senior when he was
28:57
SPEAKER_00: a freshman okay rad yeah sweet so you're there and then you kind of like talk about
29:03
SPEAKER_00: the story of like meeting is it
29:06
SPEAKER_00: brandon yeah um and like kind of yeah so i knew brian
29:12
SPEAKER_01: in high school okay again like this is a kind of all tying in but i had in order
29:17
SPEAKER_01: to beef up my resume for college
29:20
SPEAKER_01: i had joined a film club nice um mostly because i just knew brian
29:26
SPEAKER_01: and i was like this will be easy you know like i won't have to do a lot you know
29:29
SPEAKER_01: and i can still throw i'll be the talent it's a legit club yes and so he he was
29:34
SPEAKER_01: a very ambitious guy still is um in a different way
29:37
SPEAKER_01: but he he was building his career you know from a very young age and had
29:43
SPEAKER_01: a very clear vision a very clear path about how he was going to do that
29:47
SPEAKER_01: so he had actually formed his own production company
29:51
SPEAKER_01: um in high school and he was like 17 or something yeah even younger than that maybe
29:55
SPEAKER_01: and we so we had made a bunch of short films as part of this club um and then
30:00
SPEAKER_01: when he went to usc which as you know is like one of the best film schools
30:04
SPEAKER_01: and he got in and so he um and i decided we were going
30:08
SPEAKER_01: to room together my freshman year so we were really close um and
30:14
SPEAKER_01: would always be working on some like film stuff on the side obviously wasn't
30:18
SPEAKER_01: as invested as he was but he would loop me in and so that was like
30:22
SPEAKER_01: a very normal thing we ended up kind of going our separate ways in terms of housing
30:27
SPEAKER_01: for the remainder of college but we would stay in touch and do stuff in the summers
30:32
SPEAKER_01: and over like our Christmas vacations and stuff and he approached me
30:37
SPEAKER_01: in our junior year it's like we just come back from summer we hadn't like hung out
30:42
SPEAKER_01: a ton
30:44
SPEAKER_01: um and so he was just kind of catching me up on stuff
30:46
SPEAKER_01: and he's like yeah i read this article in the la times about this pastor
30:51
SPEAKER_01: in south korea who built a box on the side of his home that was designed to take
30:55
SPEAKER_01: in babies that would otherwise be abandoned and i think i want to make a documentary
31:00
SPEAKER_01: about it
31:01
SPEAKER_01: and i'm thinking what that is crazy random and like how did you you read
31:06
SPEAKER_01: the paper yeah we have a lot of questions yeah there's a lot to unpack um
31:11
SPEAKER_01: but he was like you want
31:12
SPEAKER_01: to be involved i was like i mean it sounds incredible yeah i mean i don't know what
31:15
SPEAKER_01: i have to offer right but sure um and so i kind of ended up wearing
31:21
SPEAKER_01: the producer hat that's the superpower
31:23
SPEAKER_01: of saying yes yeah i guess right like i i didn't really know what it meant
31:28
SPEAKER_01: to say yes at the time
31:30
SPEAKER_01: um and we were another example of just not knowing how to do something and trying
31:34
SPEAKER_01: to figure it out along the way and making a ton of mistakes but getting a ton
31:37
SPEAKER_01: of help and so we ended up raising money on kickstarter and getting a couple people
31:42
SPEAKER_01: to match what we were able to raise and still super micro budget but then flying
31:47
SPEAKER_01: to south korea yeah my the winter break of my junior year
31:52
SPEAKER_01: and filming what we thought was going to be a short film that we were going
31:55
SPEAKER_01: to promote on social media and we had like this whole other angle about what
31:59
SPEAKER_01: the film was about and it was really
32:01
SPEAKER_01: about like this you know surface level image based culture
32:07
SPEAKER_01: that had rejected these kids who for the most part had some like disability
32:12
SPEAKER_01: or physical deformity and that was like kind of the angle um and then through like
32:17
SPEAKER_01: a three-year process we really discovered it was a story about god
32:21
SPEAKER_01: and his adoptive love for us and brian became a christian through that process
32:26
SPEAKER_01: of making the film and just a total god story um but yeah super incredible
32:32
SPEAKER_01: but it was just because brian and i were high school buddies you know and he was
32:35
SPEAKER_01: a guy that
32:37
SPEAKER_01: would bring me up to speed on his stuff that he was working on and
32:39
SPEAKER_01: so that's how i got looped in yeah it's crazy
32:41
SPEAKER_00: that it was just like some random article
32:43
SPEAKER_00: that he was yeah i mean obviously not random in hindsight but yeah i mean even
32:48
SPEAKER_01: the story of like getting in touch with the guy it was he had like a ymail account
32:53
SPEAKER_01: that he that brian cold emailed the the author of the article that guy gave him
33:00
SPEAKER_01: brian sent a bunch of emails over the summer
33:04
SPEAKER_01: and they all got kicked back i'm never hearing
33:07
SPEAKER_01: from this guy maybe it's just not meant to be yeah and then it was like
33:10
SPEAKER_01: in september i think after summer it ended where he finally just got a message back
33:15
SPEAKER_01: that was essentially i think
33:17
SPEAKER_01: if i can quote it almost verbatim it was i don't know what it means to make
33:21
SPEAKER_01: a documentary but you can come live with me for a while if you want and
33:26
SPEAKER_01: that was like our invitation to go out there so
33:30
SPEAKER_00: so it was you brian and
33:31
SPEAKER_00: then like we had eight no we had eight students all students yeah so we had a couple
33:35
SPEAKER_01: of our korean friends that spoke the language that kind of served as our boots on
33:40
SPEAKER_01: the ground interpreters co-producers um and
33:43
SPEAKER_01: then some film we had some high school students
33:46
SPEAKER_01: that again like this production company
33:48
SPEAKER_00: that brian had already built there were some folks that were there
33:50
SPEAKER_01: and some new friends from usc and it was a ragtag group yeah it's crazy
33:55
SPEAKER_00: to see how like god uses that
33:58
SPEAKER_01: yeah and oh yeah yeah it was literally like you know you think of all these examples
34:02
SPEAKER_01: in the bible of these people who are completely unqualified and unprepared totally
34:06
SPEAKER_01: for what god's calling that's like the story but they just give them their yes and
34:09
SPEAKER_00: then he provides it was exactly that was there a point when you
34:13
SPEAKER_00: i don't even know what a producer is or like what they do still
34:21
SPEAKER_00: to this day honestly like i was just they do whatever you do yeah i guess i don't
34:25
SPEAKER_01: know i don't think that's even true i think i was probably blowing it throughout
34:28
SPEAKER_01: the whole time a lot of producers just do nothing yeah i was i was like organizing
34:33
SPEAKER_01: or helping with like logistics like i think
34:36
SPEAKER_01: i bought our flights there you know what i mean i tried to like keep us on schedule
34:40
SPEAKER_01: for interviews and like know where to be next and well that's like
34:44
SPEAKER_01: an assistant director job yeah well yeah the hats and
34:48
SPEAKER_01: the titles were very meaningless other than brian
34:51
SPEAKER_01: who felt like he i mean he would tell you he didn't know what he was doing but he
34:54
SPEAKER_01: at least seemed to know what he was doing and so yeah he was really
34:59
SPEAKER_01: the driving force behind the whole thing um but yeah i mean it was a super
35:04
SPEAKER_00: moving experience for all of us yeah so you make the movie i'm i'm i'm kind
35:11
SPEAKER_00: of like pressing fast forward
35:12
SPEAKER_00: a little bit like it does amazing yes it's very different
35:16
SPEAKER_00: than like what you guys expect it to be like there's
35:19
SPEAKER_00: a theatrical release like there's all this stuff
35:21
SPEAKER_00: that like normally every filmmaker is like oh my gosh like i can't believe
35:25
SPEAKER_00: that this is happening and you guys are kind of swept up in this yeah
35:29
SPEAKER_00: and i'm assuming brian's like this is amazing yeah
35:32
SPEAKER_01: there was a little bit like a new convert at this point too yeah i mean timeline on
35:38
SPEAKER_01: when through that process he really kind of went all in
35:43
SPEAKER_01: in his faith i couldn't tell you exactly when that happened within the process of
35:47
SPEAKER_01: the filmmaking but one like key component to
35:51
SPEAKER_01: that is like yeah it felt like it was just this like quick overnight success and
35:55
SPEAKER_01: in many ways it wasn't but like a lot of the metrics by
35:58
SPEAKER_01: which we would have measured what was success were completely upended
36:03
SPEAKER_01: like we i think we applied to sundance like three or four times
36:07
SPEAKER_01: that's always and we got rejected every single time
36:10
SPEAKER_01: and it wasn't just sundance it was like every major film festival
36:13
SPEAKER_01: because we thought oh great like this is going to be a film festival this is
36:17
SPEAKER_00: a vimeo this is not a youtube video this is a vimeo this is like
36:20
SPEAKER_01: and it you know it's it's a foreign film it's got subtitles it's kind of
36:25
SPEAKER_01: a gritty story on some level at least that's what we thought initially and
36:29
SPEAKER_00: so i can picture like the sundance and the cans yeah so i think
36:33
SPEAKER_01: from brian's perspective like you know
36:36
SPEAKER_01: on his ego he was thinking oh this is gonna make me look totally amazing you know
36:42
SPEAKER_01: and it didn't work out that way in fact like really the only film festivals we got
36:45
SPEAKER_01: into were the christian ones which was funny because it was meant to be a film
36:49
SPEAKER_01: that was kind of like penetrating that audience um and not just to serve the church
36:53
SPEAKER_01: which is a great thing in and of itself but we got
36:57
SPEAKER_01: into this uh san antonio christian film festival
37:00
SPEAKER_01: which i don't think exists anymore no i don't think but we
37:04
SPEAKER_01: and we're like do we even go i didn't end up going brian goes
37:07
SPEAKER_01: we end up winning and it's like i think it was 150 000 prize amazing
37:12
SPEAKER_01: which basically funded the rest of finishing the film yeah like we kind of had
37:16
SPEAKER_01: to go back and
37:17
SPEAKER_01: then similarly like you know okay we have this film we've won we've won
37:22
SPEAKER_01: an award you know our trailer went viral and so we had like all this interest and
37:28
SPEAKER_01: then we're like okay maybe there's you know we're having people around us like hey
37:32
SPEAKER_01: setting up meetings with different production companies and stuff
37:35
SPEAKER_01: and i think we had like very high level conversations with i want to say like sony
37:40
SPEAKER_01: and like lion's game like the big boys right and like no one wanted to touch it
37:44
SPEAKER_01: of course and then we end up getting connected with basically focus on
37:49
SPEAKER_01: the family yeah which again like bible belt you know like very
37:54
SPEAKER_01: historical traditional christian vibe and they were trying to cut into
37:59
SPEAKER_01: a younger demographic and they felt like this film was like a way to do that and so
38:05
SPEAKER_01: and then it was a lot of like releasing of creative control in certain areas
38:08
SPEAKER_01: and how we wanted to deliver that experience and what we wanted the call to action
38:12
SPEAKER_01: for the film to be and all those compromises so i feel like even
38:17
SPEAKER_01: in its success god was still refining us in a lot of ways and oh success can be
38:22
SPEAKER_00: a lot harder than failure in many ways for sure but there was like a certain level
38:26
SPEAKER_01: of like purity that we were able to maintain in it because it was stripping us
38:31
SPEAKER_01: of all of the cool factors you know um
38:34
SPEAKER_01: and yeah ultimately like you said i mean we i think we calculated that all
38:38
SPEAKER_01: in we were able to generate somewhere in like the neighborhood
38:40
SPEAKER_01: of 10 million dollars yeah
38:42
SPEAKER_01: crazy and and we were able to gift the film rights to a nonprofit that we formed
38:46
SPEAKER_01: so all that revenue went in there we got to deal with netflix like it was
38:50
SPEAKER_01: a crazy thing yeah became something we never could have envisioned yeah and
38:55
SPEAKER_01: then like ultimately like the impact that we got to see
38:59
SPEAKER_00: in korea was really cool yeah did that change like the way that you thought
39:03
SPEAKER_00: about like the i don't know whatever the mindset is that like
39:08
SPEAKER_00: kind of gets you excited about the nonprofit work that you're doing now
39:11
SPEAKER_00: whether you're on the board of prc or this hundred companies that care like was that
39:18
SPEAKER_01: for sure i think so yeah i mean one it just exposed me to because you're in
39:23
SPEAKER_01: the nonprofit world you end up brushing shoulders with a bunch of other people
39:27
SPEAKER_01: who are also running nonprofits
39:30
SPEAKER_01: and i think you realize pretty quickly there's a lot
39:32
SPEAKER_01: of really cool organizations out there and they all need a ton
39:35
SPEAKER_01: of help like we were very lucky with our nonprofit that we got plugged in with like
39:40
SPEAKER_01: a plus board members and we could not have done virtually anything without them
39:46
SPEAKER_01: so i definitely saw the value in having like a strong board people who
39:52
SPEAKER_01: were seasoned in certain areas that could offer their skills yeah um and so much of
39:57
SPEAKER_00: that was the community that you guys were brought up yeah yeah
40:00
SPEAKER_01: and like i think even just the generosity that of those board members you know was
40:04
SPEAKER_01: a big piece of it so yeah i think
40:06
SPEAKER_01: that probably got logged away somewhere i don't know that i was thinking at
40:09
SPEAKER_01: the time like oh i want to be on the board one day of a non-profit
40:12
SPEAKER_01: but i definitely saw
40:14
SPEAKER_01: the impact and the need yeah so that was you know a certainly a combination
40:19
SPEAKER_01: that i think probably led me to say yes on a couple
40:21
SPEAKER_00: of these things yeah yeah yeah well so the i mean we're jumping all over
40:26
SPEAKER_00: the place um and and yeah i don't know we could probably sit down
40:30
SPEAKER_00: for like five hours and and maybe you've done that in another um an expose
40:37
SPEAKER_00: on will yeah that's um way too much uh hopefully this is fine in the audio um
40:44
SPEAKER_00: but i'm curious like so it sounds like part of that the formation of
40:48
SPEAKER_00: the 100 companies that care idea happened through that experience
40:52
SPEAKER_00: and just like learning so much through that experience yeah i mean i think like
40:58
SPEAKER_01: hundred companies that care was kind of like born out of my start in
41:03
SPEAKER_01: the for-profit world of just recognizing that i need to find ways to connect
41:09
SPEAKER_01: with executives right like that's my client base yeah or future client base
41:14
SPEAKER_01: when i was just getting started and a big part of our business is you know
41:19
SPEAKER_01: the typical business development stuff right it's like cold calling cold emailing
41:23
SPEAKER_01: and all that and i knew that i was going to have to do that but i was always looking
41:26
SPEAKER_01: for ways where i could
41:28
SPEAKER_01: build those connections more organically and kind of filter through the people
41:36
SPEAKER_01: that were like like-minded with me because those are the people that I really wanted
41:40
SPEAKER_01: to work with and so I was talking with a buddy who was kind of in a he was pursuing
41:46
SPEAKER_01: the same type of people just through a different industry
41:49
SPEAKER_01: and we were like collaborating
41:50
SPEAKER_01: on like what could we do you know like how could we work together to get
41:54
SPEAKER_01: the right people in a room so that
41:56
SPEAKER_01: and he was very plugged into the non-profit world just like going to a lot
42:00
SPEAKER_01: of galas supporting a lot of different organizations like a very philanthropic guy
42:05
SPEAKER_01: and he had heard of this like hundred who care alliance
42:09
SPEAKER_01: and he was like well like let's look into that and they have chapters all over
42:13
SPEAKER_01: the country it seems like it should be pretty easy and so there was like a hundred
42:17
SPEAKER_01: who a hundred women who care chapter in orange county that we went to their meeting
42:22
SPEAKER_01: at nordstrom cafe mission vial mall
42:25
SPEAKER_00: oh what a vibe yeah i haven't been there in years
42:27
SPEAKER_01: and there's just some it was pretty much like a hundred stay-at-home moms or like
42:32
SPEAKER_01: a hundred like they're all different walks of life yeah and they're each donating
42:35
SPEAKER_01: a hundred dollars to non-profits and we kind of got to see the model
42:39
SPEAKER_01: and it was like this is cool this seems easy like let's just start the 100 men
42:43
SPEAKER_01: who care and then as we were kind of identifying the people that we would want to be
42:48
SPEAKER_01: a part of that
42:50
SPEAKER_01: we realized like hey a lot of these people are executives and so we were kind
42:52
SPEAKER_01: of like piloting it with those folks i mean like hey is this something
42:55
SPEAKER_01: that you'd be interested in and then it was someone that tyler had talked
42:58
SPEAKER_01: to was like dude you should be targeting companies and you should ask for
43:02
SPEAKER_01: a thousand bucks a quarter instead of a hundred because that's the blip on the radar
43:06
SPEAKER_01: for most businesses and so we like pivoted and we kind of just like made it up
43:12
SPEAKER_01: as we went and
43:14
SPEAKER_01: yeah it's been awesome it's been gold yeah it's been a total passion project for us
43:18
SPEAKER_01: and um there's so many things that i love about it and i think it's
43:23
SPEAKER_01: but it has been this cool sort of bridge for me personally
43:26
SPEAKER_01: on like not only my background in the non-profit space and my passion for it and
43:30
SPEAKER_01: then you know all the for-profit work that i'm doing and so it's it's been cool
43:35
SPEAKER_01: to watch that connection happen not just for me but for all of
43:40
SPEAKER_01: the members you know being able to
43:42
SPEAKER_01: really interact in a deeper way with nonprofits that are serving our own community
43:47
SPEAKER_00: and doing really impactful things yeah yeah I mean even just getting to go to
43:52
SPEAKER_00: the meeting was that like a month ago yeah yeah so cool
43:57
SPEAKER_00: to see like how simple it is yeah like
44:01
SPEAKER_00: i'm assuming how many iterations it took to like get to that yeah
44:04
SPEAKER_00: where it's like uh one of my old bosses would always say like simple is hard yeah
44:09
SPEAKER_00: where it's just like the messiness of getting to simplicity yeah yeah
44:13
SPEAKER_01: because simple is elegant yeah in a lot of ways and yeah it's not
44:18
SPEAKER_01: it's like when you're writing a sentence or a paper it's like there's a lot
44:22
SPEAKER_01: of filler words a lot of junk and to distill it
44:25
SPEAKER_01: into what is really necessary is takes editing and rewriting so much of writing
44:31
SPEAKER_01: a lot of thought yeah totally so it's a similar thing
44:34
SPEAKER_01: and we're still not there we're still figuring it out
44:37
SPEAKER_01: and you know that's it's another example going back to the beginning
44:40
SPEAKER_01: of you know trying to dedicate the time
44:43
SPEAKER_01: because you could really spend a ton of time on that and and like probably grow it
44:48
SPEAKER_01: a little quicker than we have yeah but we all still have to provide for our families
44:52
SPEAKER_01: and spend time with them and we're being pulled in all these different directions
44:55
SPEAKER_01: so we've been happy with the way that it's evolved and we're okay i think we've we
45:00
SPEAKER_01: when we first started we're like this thing is gonna go crazy you know it's gonna
45:04
SPEAKER_01: take off and it hasn't that hasn't been
45:06
SPEAKER_01: the story it's been much slower harder growth but i think it's for the best
45:11
SPEAKER_00: yeah what are you guys at now like i think we're
45:13
SPEAKER_01: at like 60 something companies cool yeah so i mean like yeah the cool part about
45:17
SPEAKER_01: the model is even though we're well short
45:20
SPEAKER_01: of our hundred company target yeah um we're still granting you know sixty thousand
45:26
SPEAKER_01: dollars plus a quarter yeah so it's been really cool to see the impact and obviously
45:32
SPEAKER_01: for any non-profit and that's this is what i have an appreciation of having been on
45:36
SPEAKER_01: that side yeah it's hard to raise sixty thousand dollars totally
45:39
SPEAKER_01: and a lot of times you're spending 20 to raise 60 and you're just going to
45:42
SPEAKER_00: the same people over and over again and being like hey we asked for a gift last year
45:46
SPEAKER_01: but can you double your gift this year so to have you know an hour and
45:50
SPEAKER_01: a half presentation yield that same return and then for that the benefit of being
45:55
SPEAKER_01: a part of that really go beyond the dollars yeah and all those connections
46:00
SPEAKER_01: that are built relationships that will go beyond the parameters of
46:05
SPEAKER_01: that quarterly meeting i think is like the real goal
46:08
SPEAKER_00: yeah yeah how have you seen like uh business leaders transition from like interest
46:15
SPEAKER_00: to like the actual commitment of like becoming a member the best way i think is
46:20
SPEAKER_01: to just come and experience it
46:22
SPEAKER_01: because it you can explain it i think people appreciate the concept um but it's hard
46:27
SPEAKER_01: to appreciate the quality of the non-profits and i feel like that ends up being
46:31
SPEAKER_01: the driving force behind people committing is
46:34
SPEAKER_00: hearing from the amount of effort you guys would have to do in order
46:38
SPEAKER_00: to like share their stories totally to like yeah yeah i mean it's just easier to be
46:42
SPEAKER_01: in the room yeah it's like people get it there's a cool concept but i think
46:46
SPEAKER_01: the first thing people think of when they're considering joining is like do i have
46:49
SPEAKER_01: the time right can i afford to show up for an hour and a half four times a year
46:54
SPEAKER_01: which is like it's it's yeah it's not but
46:58
SPEAKER_01: there's always something to do right like i i even feel it right we're running
47:03
SPEAKER_01: the event and you know like a week out i'm like gosh like could i use that hour and
47:06
SPEAKER_01: a half back absolutely right but it's obviously important to me so it has
47:10
SPEAKER_01: to be equally important to these people to justify the time um and
47:15
SPEAKER_01: so i think it's really just showing up hearing these stories
47:20
SPEAKER_01: and what's interesting is like it's not like these non-profits i mean there are very
47:25
SPEAKER_01: moving conversations that happen
47:28
SPEAKER_01: but i think it's also just the quality of the organizations in terms
47:31
SPEAKER_01: of how they're going to use the money that really resonates with our crowd um
47:37
SPEAKER_01: and we've seen that in terms of how the voting goes and who ends up winning
47:40
SPEAKER_01: in these presentation scenarios and so i think just the quality
47:44
SPEAKER_01: of those organizations i think brings people across the line
47:48
SPEAKER_01: and we've seen people we joke about it at the event you saw it's like it's
47:52
SPEAKER_01: a great impulse buy you know a lot of people show up thinking
47:54
SPEAKER_01: that they're just going to check it out and they're
47:57
SPEAKER_01: so moved by what's happening that they're prompted to hey i'm gonna join
48:01
SPEAKER_01: and i'm gonna vote right because i i really want this group to win or i want
48:05
SPEAKER_01: to contribute towards yeah the pot for this particular quarter
48:09
SPEAKER_01: so yeah i think that's probably the biggest thing and then like the side effect of
48:15
SPEAKER_00: of like the money side is also the relationship building that happens in there too
48:21
SPEAKER_00: so it's like all these unique
48:24
SPEAKER_00: organizations are coming before this body of members and
48:28
SPEAKER_00: then they're like oh i'm super interested in that organization i want
48:31
SPEAKER_01: to spend more time for sure yeah we've talked about it like it's a it's meant to be
48:35
SPEAKER_01: an ecosystem right
48:36
SPEAKER_01: where you've got large organizations small businesses mid-sized companies they're
48:42
SPEAKER_01: going to find ways to do business together because again you're putting a bunch
48:45
SPEAKER_01: of like-minded people in a room where that's going to happen organically
48:50
SPEAKER_01: then you have the opportunity to support these nonprofits in some way
48:53
SPEAKER_01: beyond your financial capacity like we've had members join boards we've had members
48:59
SPEAKER_01: bring their companies out for volunteer events we've had members donate
49:02
SPEAKER_01: to these organizations outside of the format of
49:05
SPEAKER_01: the group what we really didn't expect though was
49:08
SPEAKER_01: the nonprofit collaboration i think that's been one of the coolest parts about it is
49:13
SPEAKER_01: nonprofits tend to silo themselves because there is some sort of competition
49:18
SPEAKER_01: that exists and competing for fundraising dollars competing
49:21
SPEAKER_01: for volunteer hours competing for board seats yeah like there is still some
49:26
SPEAKER_01: of those dynamics in the nonprofit side that you would still see on
49:30
SPEAKER_01: the for-profit side and for whatever reason this feels like it cuts through it in
49:35
SPEAKER_01: a lot of ways and so we've had really cool examples of nonprofits collaborating
49:39
SPEAKER_01: with other nonprofits whether they're serving in the same mission
49:43
SPEAKER_01: or not finding ways to support each other um and
49:47
SPEAKER_01: so that's been really cool i feel like that does a lot of good in and
49:50
SPEAKER_00: of itself yeah yeah well and the idea
49:53
SPEAKER_00: of like you're not alone totally like it really i mean one of the organizations
49:57
SPEAKER_00: that i do some work for is like predicated on that idea of like pastors around
50:01
SPEAKER_00: the world not being alone yeah so it's like a community for them totally and so
50:06
SPEAKER_00: so much of the time like
50:08
SPEAKER_00: barriers can be broken by just that idea of like hey we're
50:12
SPEAKER_00: in this together oh like this organization
50:14
SPEAKER_00: over here is doing something different their programming is different
50:17
SPEAKER_00: but it's similar in these ways for sure and just being able
50:21
SPEAKER_00: to like be like i recognize you and i see you
50:23
SPEAKER_00: and like yeah we're not competing we're actually like how can we encourage each
50:27
SPEAKER_01: other or even just
50:29
SPEAKER_01: totally separate organizations
50:31
SPEAKER_01: that are seemingly tackling two completely different problems like one
50:34
SPEAKER_01: of my favorite examples early on was we had two organizations present at
50:38
SPEAKER_01: the same quarterly meeting Corazon de Vida which is like an orphanage in Mexico and
50:43
SPEAKER_01: then the literacy project which has this curriculum for in school and
50:47
SPEAKER_01: after school literacy training for kids that are struggling and
50:52
SPEAKER_01: the literacy project heard from Corazon de Vida
50:54
SPEAKER_01: and they ended up donating their curriculum
50:57
SPEAKER_01: to them so that they could use it for their kids in their orphanage and it's like
51:01
SPEAKER_01: that wouldn't have ever happened a no-brainer it's a no-brainer but like
51:04
SPEAKER_01: that connection could not have formed without an opportunity or forum
51:08
SPEAKER_01: for those two organizations to interact yeah mutual value for all
51:13
SPEAKER_01: the parties involved yeah and what's
51:15
SPEAKER_01: so crazy too is like we're not selecting these organizations it's the members
51:20
SPEAKER_01: that are nominating them and so it's like really
51:24
SPEAKER_01: by chance on some level because
51:26
SPEAKER_01: if those two members hadn't nominated those two nonprofits which were both selected
51:30
SPEAKER_01: to present and then for them to meet and interact and figure out ways
51:35
SPEAKER_01: to collaborate i mean that was just kind of a crazy thing
51:38
SPEAKER_00: so cool yeah well it's cool to see again the idea of like god showing up in
51:45
SPEAKER_00: something in a different way than you guys expect like the success metric
51:49
SPEAKER_00: that you guys had was like this one thing yeah and that's happening
51:53
SPEAKER_00: on some level yeah but then it's like oh all these other things are happening as
51:57
SPEAKER_00: a result of you saying yes yeah and like anything else in your walk
52:01
SPEAKER_01: with god i feel like a lot of the results are sort of hidden yeah
52:05
SPEAKER_01: a really good way too like we don't even really know no and i don't think we will
52:10
SPEAKER_01: on like what yeah
52:12
SPEAKER_01: what the impact will be yeah the seeds that you plant yeah just how the stuff
52:15
SPEAKER_01: that stories that don't come back to us and things
52:18
SPEAKER_01: that haven't even happened yeah right it's i think that's part of it is
52:21
SPEAKER_00: that you're you're releasing all of that yeah is there ever a fear that like you say
52:27
SPEAKER_00: in the season that you're in like saying no uh to like the wrong things
52:33
SPEAKER_00: and like how do you kind of
52:35
SPEAKER_01: yeah there's some of that i mean i think with on the other side of every no is a yes
52:39
SPEAKER_01: so you're saying yes to something else to say no to something and
52:42
SPEAKER_01: so i think that's how i try to frame it is if i'm saying no to something it's not
52:47
SPEAKER_01: because i don't believe in it it's because there's a yes that i need
52:51
SPEAKER_01: to say somewhere else yeah that is a higher priority for me and in this season um
52:59
SPEAKER_01: so yeah i think that's usually
53:02
SPEAKER_01: how i justify it you know like whether and i'm sure i've done it wrong a bunch
53:08
SPEAKER_01: of times you know but most of the time the yes that i need to say is
53:13
SPEAKER_01: for something related to family you know and so that's where it gets
53:17
SPEAKER_01: a little easier yes oh yeah it's
53:19
SPEAKER_00: a priority that's never changing you know yeah yeah well it is yeah it's constantly
53:23
SPEAKER_00: changing but it's never changing it's never changing its orientation yeah in my life
53:28
SPEAKER_00: is there something that you feel like you're called to that you haven't started yet
53:32
SPEAKER_00: that you feel like yes at some point i'm gonna do this i just don't know when yeah
53:36
SPEAKER_01: for sure uh foster care and like adoption like so that was like a big thing
53:42
SPEAKER_01: that i feel like god instilled in me
53:44
SPEAKER_01: through this dropbox project was like this heart for adoption
53:49
SPEAKER_01: and we've been really fortunate to be in a community through our church
53:53
SPEAKER_01: at zion that's like very passionate involved in foster care specifically and
53:57
SPEAKER_01: so actually before we had our youngest we were going through
54:02
SPEAKER_01: the certification process oh cool and so we ended up pausing that just
54:06
SPEAKER_01: because we felt like we wouldn't be able to do that well at this point
54:12
SPEAKER_01: and we're still supporting in other ways to the extent we can but
54:15
SPEAKER_01: that is certainly something that
54:17
SPEAKER_00: my wife and i both feel strongly about what an adventure from what i understand yeah
54:22
SPEAKER_01: and i think it's also made us it's made it really a lot easier
54:26
SPEAKER_01: because you always have that question of like
54:29
SPEAKER_01: where do you stop having kids yeah you know like if you're lucky enough to be in
54:34
SPEAKER_01: a position to keep having them and it's like well what
54:38
SPEAKER_01: about four you know like you kind of go back and forth
54:41
SPEAKER_01: and like your initial instincts
54:42
SPEAKER_01: of course like self-preservation you're like i can't do four you know um but
54:47
SPEAKER_01: the idea of like closing the door on having more biological kids is a lot easier
54:53
SPEAKER_01: when the door for adding to our family in other ways there's still like space
54:57
SPEAKER_00: in your heart for that yes as cheesy as that sounds yeah and it does and like in
55:01
SPEAKER_01: the timeline around it you're kind of like freed from it a little bit totally
55:05
SPEAKER_01: you don't have to worry about like biology yeah it's like okay we could we could add
55:09
SPEAKER_01: to our family later in life yeah you know and still have that capacity to totally
55:15
SPEAKER_00: to serve in that way yeah and there's so many beautiful and it sounds like
55:18
SPEAKER_00: the community that you're in has a lot of great examples of this and and
55:22
SPEAKER_00: the challenges that come along with that totally but like the the beauty
55:27
SPEAKER_00: of like even having the biological kids like be a piece of that in a really
55:32
SPEAKER_01: awesome yeah i mean participate in it right like that's their that that's a piece
55:36
SPEAKER_01: of it right and we didn't want i don't think to like
55:40
SPEAKER_01: not that this is how it works but there is a thought of okay this is going
55:44
SPEAKER_01: to impact them on some level like not that we need their consent so to speak
55:49
SPEAKER_01: but we did want to make sure we felt like we were still giving them what they needed
55:53
SPEAKER_01: from us and that this this wasn't going to really impact them negatively
55:58
SPEAKER_00: in some way okay so yeah well that's awesome yeah that's uh there's a few friends
56:03
SPEAKER_00: that i have that are in that season of like what does this look like in the future
56:07
SPEAKER_00: that really want to be a part of it and it's like
56:09
SPEAKER_00: man that seems so hard but also like so what a perfect picture of like god's love
56:16
SPEAKER_01: for us 100 and i think like the foster parents that i know who have gone through
56:22
SPEAKER_01: that process like get every bit out of it that those kids get you know
56:27
SPEAKER_01: and it's i think it's just a
56:30
SPEAKER_01: really cool opportunity to step into a part of the gospel
56:34
SPEAKER_01: that you otherwise can't really resonate with yeah in like
56:37
SPEAKER_00: a true way yeah well i think even just in a small way with me becoming
56:43
SPEAKER_00: a dad understanding like the heart of the father yeah i'm assuming it's different
56:49
SPEAKER_00: and unique even from an adoption and foster perspective where it's like oh this is
56:55
SPEAKER_00: not my kid but it he or she is now my kid and i love them as my own child um
57:01
SPEAKER_00: where it's like oh well this this baby came out of my wife
57:05
SPEAKER_00: and i like automatically i would die
57:07
SPEAKER_01: for this yes kid i would do anything yeah you're like genetically programmed totally
57:12
SPEAKER_00: yeah
57:13
SPEAKER_00: and it's just such an interesting it's given me a lot of perspective
57:16
SPEAKER_00: because intellectually i understand that idea but emotionally now as
57:19
SPEAKER_00: a dad yeah i'm like oh that's so it's heartbreaking
57:23
SPEAKER_00: when our our first like does something that hurts me
57:26
SPEAKER_00: and it's like well i know you don't mean to or whatever but you are doing this
57:31
SPEAKER_00: and it's affecting it's like for sure now i have this different angle of like
57:35
SPEAKER_00: the father's love for me totally yeah you have to you can't help but relate
57:40
SPEAKER_01: to god yeah in a lot of those ways totally you know and that helps me in terms
57:44
SPEAKER_01: of how i act or how i pray or how i think about my relationship it's
57:50
SPEAKER_01: because i'm getting this like little shadow of it on earth yeah of oh i am
57:56
SPEAKER_01: that stubborn kid you know like when i'm getting frustrated with my and
58:01
SPEAKER_01: yet i also know god's patience is unending unlike mine right and like
58:06
SPEAKER_01: so you it is just such a unique way
58:10
SPEAKER_01: i feel like you really like live your faith more
58:13
SPEAKER_01: than you could ever read it right yeah i mean like obviously it's important to be in
58:18
SPEAKER_01: the word and anchor yourself there but i feel like the biggest areas
58:23
SPEAKER_01: of growth i've experienced have been in those totally like examples
58:27
SPEAKER_00: of just you know seeing it yes well and not being like prepared for it in
58:33
SPEAKER_00: the best way possible yeah yeah
58:36
SPEAKER_00: um at like so every previous guest that i have on they ask a question of
58:41
SPEAKER_00: the next guest oh cool um so the the guy that was on before asked this question
58:47
SPEAKER_00: and i'm curious to get your answer um what's like the biggest obstacle
58:51
SPEAKER_00: in your life right now biggest obstacle you can get as abstract
59:03
SPEAKER_01: i guess the way i would interpret that is like what's occupying the most
59:09
SPEAKER_01: of my like headspace right now and like what sort of like keeps me up at night to
59:15
SPEAKER_01: a certain degree it would just be the parenting thing like it's just so important
59:20
SPEAKER_01: to me and i want to nail it so badly and i have there's this like
59:26
SPEAKER_01: tension between me feeling as unequipped and inadequate as i possibly could as a dad
59:34
SPEAKER_01: and yet this desire to like be perfect to achieve to achieve to like be the dad
59:41
SPEAKER_01: that i've always wanted to be and so there's like that is that's hard you know
59:46
SPEAKER_01: and i think figuring just just being finding a way to feel
59:54
SPEAKER_01: comfortable in the uncomfortable sort of and like that season
59:58
SPEAKER_01: of just like okay I'm here I don't want like I know there's something for me here
1:00:04
SPEAKER_01: that I need to be learning and leaning into it a little bit more
1:00:09
SPEAKER_01: and being I think it's taught me some things about control that I struggle with
1:00:16
SPEAKER_01: and I think it's just it's also taught me about just you know
1:00:23
SPEAKER_01: how
1:00:25
SPEAKER_01: how i'm like measuring myself you know of of like what is good and what is not and
1:00:30
SPEAKER_01: and just kind of being okay with showing up and doing my best and even
1:00:36
SPEAKER_01: if it doesn't seem like i'm doing everything the right way like i'm trying what's
1:00:41
SPEAKER_00: the uh what's like
1:00:42
SPEAKER_00: the cringy parenting adage is like uh um kids spell love t-i-m-e yeah yeah dude
1:00:50
SPEAKER_01: and that's real i i at least i hope it is yeah because
1:00:53
SPEAKER_00: because at least i'm doing that you know yeah so presentness seems to be a big piece
1:00:59
SPEAKER_01: of that yeah yeah it's just yeah it's it's it's a hard thing man like parenting is
1:01:04
SPEAKER_01: and yeah just you know you're balancing everything else right totally it's like gosh
1:01:08
SPEAKER_01: am i spending enough time am i spending too much time
1:01:10
SPEAKER_01: and like you know there's all these yeah things well yeah and then all
1:01:14
SPEAKER_00: the other identities that we put on ourselves and the control or the lack
1:01:17
SPEAKER_00: of control yeah i resonate so much with that idea yeah
1:01:21
SPEAKER_00: do you have a question for i know i gotta think of one now sorry i'm putting you on
1:01:25
SPEAKER_01: the spot no no no so the question was because i could i could kind of answer i
1:01:29
SPEAKER_01: the first one that i was thinking of is what keeps you up at night because i think
1:01:34
SPEAKER_01: that is like an interesting yeah thing that's different that cuts to the core i kind
1:01:38
SPEAKER_01: of answered that in a way instead of the obstacle piece but i guess
1:01:42
SPEAKER_01: the obstacle is really just kids going through yeah tough stuff totally you know
1:01:47
SPEAKER_01: and how you how you help them through that yeah um
1:01:51
SPEAKER_01: but yeah the other angle would be what keeps you up at night okay sweet i'm excited
1:01:56
SPEAKER_00: to see what our next guest yeah i'll have to tune in and finally see that