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When the Mind Wanders · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  Intro: Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by infinitely precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
• 0:12
  James: Hello, beloved. It's me, James. And I have been thinking about presence, thinking about what it means to have our minds wonder. Over the last several weeks, I have been very busy. It is a new year and leading up to this new year, of course, at the tail end of the year, particularly for people from a Christian tradition, there's a lot of opportunities to worship, to gather, to connect with other people, multiple worship experiences, which in my position I get to lead, including one for New Year's, two for Christmas Eve, and then every Sunday of the month, as well as some other things like weekly moments and infinitely precious podcasts.
• 1:08
  So in the midst of all of that, I found myself getting a little worn down. Now, I used to joke as a younger man about my gift being that wherever I go, there I am. And the truth of the matter was for a long time I thought I could always be present. But the bottom line is sometimes what I thought of as being present was simply being physically in the same room. It wasn't until about fifteen years ago when I took up a meditation practice and began to get used to letting go of all of the wandering thoughts that I found a way to actually be present where I was.
• 1:58
  But over the last several weeks, as I paid attention to my own mind, my own sense of being present and noticed when my mind was wandering, I began to realize that even with a practice like meditation that allows us to let go of the wandering thoughts and not to get caught up wandering away with them, that sometimes the wandering mind is something more than just the inability to be present. It's kind of an opportunity to say to myself and by extension for you to say to yourself that maybe my mind, my body, myself deep within is trying to tell me something. That maybe I need a little bit more self care. Maybe this is not a moment for me to say yes to being with someone, but to take a moment to step back, however many moments it takes to simply be with myself. I think it's a healthy thing for our minds actually sometimes to let our minds wonder.
• 3:16
  There are moments after my morning meditation when I've let go and let go and then at the end of the meditation when the bell goes and I stop, close my eyes back and I let my mind just go wherever it will go. Just kind of let it be creative and imaginative and wander around a bit and just see where it leads. Sometimes I do that with my journal as a tool. Sometimes I just do it with my eyes closed to kind of see where the mind will take me. So perhaps when our minds are wandering, it's an invitation for us to be self aware enough to discern what's up with our wandering minds.
• 4:08
  So often we assume, particularly those of us in helping professions, that it's our job to be present all the time with anybody who needs us to be present. And I will just tell you right now that from my own experience, that thought that we could ever be present all the time every time someone needs us is an invitation to fail. And it's an invitation to burn out, to not recognize something that's important to us as human beings. And that is we are finite. There is a limit to how much we can do and it's not being less than, it's not self denigrating to recognize that sometimes all of us, all of us would be better served by taking a moment, a Sabbath moment, a sacred moment, a holy moment to step back from whatever's going on.
• 5:14
  It's really hard to do that, particularly when there are so many things in our lives, so many people in our lives that could really use our attention, that could and our own desire to help, our own desire to reach out keeps pulling us towards doing that. Healthy stepping back is not a bad thing. It's actually a good thing. You're not running away. You're taking a moment to be present enough with yourself to find the healing, wholeness, completeness that the divine wants for you in your life.
• 6:00
  Being whole, being complete, being healed is important for all of us. So, when you find your mind wondering, and if you're anything like me, that will happen periodically. Let that be a moment to check-in. Let that be a moment to ponder for yourself what it is that this moment may be calling for. Is it calling for you to do a little self care, to take care of yourself, to be protective of the resources you have to give as the limited human being you are?
• 6:53
  Is it time that you need to recover emotionally, relationally, sensorially, you know, just being overwhelmed by all the things that might be going on, the mind may be quietly saying to you, this is too much right now. Step back. Unapologetically recognize that there are moments when what you need is that healing space for yourself. Now, on the other side of that, there are moments when you're trying to be where you are, when you need to be where you are, and where it's not at all about being overwhelmed, it's about the mind's natural propensity to wonder. The truth is we are generating thoughts all the time or thoughts are rising in us all the time, whether we generate them or where exactly consciousness rise from, that's a conversation for another day.
• 7:52
  But those thoughts are constantly rising. We don't have to grab ahold of them. We can instead let them go. Years ago, after I had begun a meditation practice in my own life, I began to notice little ways that I like to occasionally you know how when you love somebody sometimes you get a kick, maybe you're not like me. But you might, you know, have a little fun poking at them a little bit, kidding them.
• 8:28
  But sometimes just not the right time to do it. And so, when you see that rising inside of you, and I found this to be true, I could see a remark or a statement coming up and sometimes it wasn't just about you know, kidding with someone. Sometimes it was about me wanting to correct someone else because of course I was right or wanting to argue with someone else. And I could feel that thought rising up in me and because of the meditation practice, because of recognizing what's rising, I could just let that pass on by, didn't have to grab a hold of it or act on it. And so perhaps you're in an important conversation, it's not the need to have some self care to step back to recognize that your yes can't be yes right now.
• 9:23
  Maybe it's an opportunity for you to say, my mind is just trying to distract me right now and just let it go as it passes by. Now, as it becomes a practice, as it becomes a habit, it will become, I don't want to say easier, but it will become more natural to let go of what's rising enough so that you can really come back to the moment you're in without losing it. So, in any case, no matter how you look at this, be gentle with yourself. We want to be gentle and kind with the whole rest of the world, but sometimes we forget that sometimes we need to be gentle with ourselves. Listen to what your mind, your heart, your body, your core, your soul if you will, is trying to tell you.
• 10:29
  Don't run roughshod over it. I particularly live in a society, I know that people listen to this from all around the world, but I live in a society where I'm supposed to where part of the cultural milieu is to tell me to ignore my own needs on behalf of others. That I always need to be present, that I always need to respond, that I always need to be producing. That's a false message. It might be a cultural one, but it's a false message.
• 11:01
  There are times when you need to step back, to recoup, and to be gentle with yourself. So what I'm inviting you to do is to be gentle, to notice when your mind wonders, to look for the signs that the reason your mind is wondering is because you're overwhelmed, overloaded, and you need to take a step back. And to also notice when that's not the issue at all, when the issue is your mind is just jumping from thing to thing, distracting you from the moment you're in. And gently, gently let it go. Don't judge yourself for it.
• 11:41
  The mind wanders, my thoughts rise. Let it go and come back to the conversation so you can truly be present. We'd all like to be wherever we go. Sometimes that's possible, Sometimes it's not. That kind of presence really does take a kind of practice, meditative practice, reflective practice, the practice of letting go.
• 12:11
  So, be kind to yourself and to others. And remember that even if your mind wonders, even if you're not able to be fully present for someone, even if you're still trying to figure out that what's going on inside of you and where you're meant to be, it's not a failure, it's an opportunity. An opportunity to invite gentleness, kindness, to step back or to engage whichever seems to be right for you. And life in many ways is trial and error. You try it, you find out, oops, I was wrong about how far I could extend myself.
• 13:00
  Or I was right, I needed to step back and give yourself space to learn to grow and to engage. In the end you are truly infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. Learning to be present is one of the ways of giving the gift of who you are, but not just giving it away to others, but to giving it to yourself. You are a gift and part of you being a gift is recognizing it in yourself and being present to experience that gift that you are. Thanks so much for joining me today.
• 13:44
  If this has been helpful to you, I want you to share it with others, encourage you to share it with others. If you have thoughts, please feel free to respond. Send me an email at infinitelypreciousllcgmail dot com. Be delighted to hear from you and to respond if I could. But wishing you all the best for the infinitely precious unconditionally loved gift that you already are and thanks for joining me.