Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 85: From Pain to Purpose Ft. Virginie Audrey

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85: From Pain to Purpose Ft. Virginie Audrey · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

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  every now and again you meet a very powerful and magnetic soul and you feel in a sense that
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  everything they're saying and expressing is specifically designed to summon you towards them
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  and the magical queen that I'm sitting next to today is one such individual, one such soul who
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  I feel really stood as a beacon and called me towards her in her own unique way. And I truly believe
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  you are each here to do that for the people who came here to resonate with you and be drawn to
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  your frequency, your message, your energy. So I'm so grateful to be sitting down with a dear
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  magical friend, Virginie. Welcome to the Soul Cylon podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for
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  having me, beautiful woman. Thank you. I'm so grateful. And I'd love to start, we are very
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  soulful women, I would say. And this podcast is called the Soul Cylon. So I'd love to start by
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  asking you, what does the soul mean to you? Soul to me is the highest part of ourselves.
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  The one that I will say directly come from God, whatever you believe in can be
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  come from the universe or whatever life, whatever you believe in. But that
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  part that creates everything that is alive has created your soul in order to have a purpose,
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  in order to live a life that is led from that viewpoint, that soul, so that highest part,
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  pure part of yourself. Yes. That's what soul means to me.
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  Oh, wow. The way you expressed that was so beautiful, this part of this higher power, this
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  God in each of us and that we feel and tap into. How did you find your way to that connection?
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  You've really embodied a deep connection to that holiness within and therefore without. And so
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  how did you find your way there? I will say that as human beings, we learn through pain.
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  If it's comfortable, we're not moving too much, right? But when something is painful, that's
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  where we are feeling okay, I need to move towards something else, right? Something that it has,
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  that feels better. So basically, through my life, I expand different stories, challenges,
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  traumas like everyone else. And I realized that they were a part of me because I felt that
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  there was something bigger for me, something better for me. And is this dichotomy between
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  knowing when you feel good and also feeling bad that there was something that is different.
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  And I was looking for that similarity, feeling good always. So that's where I started to
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  read and to go to meetings with Indian sisters. And when I was living in London and I started to
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  meditate, it was not even a thing at the time. It was a long, long time ago. And yoga and all of
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  this. And that's where the teaching comes, you know, because when you learn one of these things,
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  which is, for example, yoga or you have to learn the philosophy behind also, otherwise it's like
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  just workouts. But he's actually a spiritual practice. And that's where I've been introduced to
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  that part of me that I was looking for for a long time.
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  Well, I mean, where you started with as human beings, we learned through pain.
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  Ooh, can you take us there? And then what you just mentioned about this beautiful journey that
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  you've been on towards yourself, towards truth, spirit, God. And it sounds like you approach these
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  practices with a lot of reverence. And I think reverence is the word for, you know, the culture,
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  the philosophy, the deep wisdom and ancient history. So that's really beautiful and important
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  as we explore these different spiritual traditions and practices. But I would love to tap deeper
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  into this idea of pain, you know, revealing the light. And what you notice in the people you
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  work with on how, what are the invitations that pain is bringing us that we sometimes ignore or
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  avoid? You know, pain like joy, like any emotions, I will say, are an indication of something in
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  your life. So it's about, you know, we have the tendency as you meant to run away from pain
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  because it's painful. We don't like that. But sometimes, you know, pain is here for a reason
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  because it has a message like any emotion, either good or bad. Your emotions are your
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  indication that there is something that is either a line or it's not. So that's why it's very
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  important to know, I will say dissociate from the pain, you know, like for example, you know,
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  you can smoke weed, you can drink alcohol, you can party, you can be on your phone all the time,
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  you can have a lot of sex, whatever it is in excess, it's always important to sit with yourself
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  and reflect on why am I doing what I'm doing? Is it from a place of joy and happiness or is it
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  from a place of maybe hidden pain that I'm trying to dissociate and run away from?
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  Because that's where the problem lands, yeah, right? And that's what when you are a therapist,
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  of course, that's when someone comes to you and say, yes, I have this problem and I would like
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  to resolve it, right? But what I always, and that's why it can be very difficult with my,
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  with my client, my patient is that I make them sit with this pain. You cannot run away because
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  the pain or the emotion or the message will come after you over and over again in many different
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  type of settings in order for you to get the lesson behind it. Yeah, you have, sometimes I'm
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  sure you do like friends that say, oh, I'm always ending up in the same relationship. I'm
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  attracting the same type of man and available emotionally, etc, etc. Because there is a lesson,
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  there is a message for you, it's not about the next person coming in front of you and being like,
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  hey, I'm different. No, it's because you are going to be attracted to something that is different,
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  but you need to do the work first and for that you need to sit with it. That's what is super
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  uncomfortable and how everyone is ready for it. But that's the solution.
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  It's so, so true and it's such a powerful like in the moment, you sometimes even know I'm being
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  invited to sit with something and also now we're in this culture, everything you mentioned,
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  it's all sort of designed in a way to numb, to avoid, to escape gaming, scrolling,
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  liking and following all of these different tools and ways of escaping the feeling and consuming
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  and consuming and consuming. But even besides that, it's just it's so uncomfortable and I think
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  sometimes we also underestimate our courage to face the emotion. So it is uncomfortable to do
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  and also in the face of that discomfort. Instead of saying, I can rise to this. I am resilient.
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  I am courage. I am powerful. We also, I don't think it's just, it's like,
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  absolutely, we avoid the discomfort and we also reduce ourselves in the face of pain. Like,
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  I cannot face this. When we really can, and I'm so curious with the clients you worked with
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  and with yourself, when you say we have to face our emotions, what does that mean tangibly for people?
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  It means that by knowing what you are running away from, you will understand more
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  what you are running from and if it's that really necessary to run away from that in order to go
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  to where you want to be, right? It's like, for example, if I say to you, I have a wound,
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  yes, I just cut myself and you are the doctor, are coming to you and I say to you, yes, I'm in
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  pain, but yeah, I don't want to look there. And you'll be like, yeah, but in order to heal
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  and to be able to move your fingers and hands again, we need to look at what's causing this pain.
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  Right? And so for the body, and like in this example, you will be like, yes, of course,
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  but that's the same for the mind. That's the same. When we say the mind is broken,
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  it's broken because the mind is trying, how mind is trying to save us from difficult situations.
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  That's why we can serve sabotage or we can, because a mind doesn't make the difference between what's
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  good for us or what's not. It just wants to make us feel safe. That's why we can even do things
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  sometimes that are not supposed to be so good for us, but we do it anyway, because you avoid
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  something, but discomfort. That's what I mean. So, so yeah, I guess that it's sitting with what's
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  uncomfortable is always the solution to go to the other side of what you want to be. Honestly,
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  there is, and I'm going to tell you why, because I think most of my life, fun enough,
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  they were a part of me running towards a solution, but at the same time, they were a part of me
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  running away from the problem. So, so yeah, until that you sit with the, okay, what am I doing,
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  what I'm doing, then you keep running. When you say that, that's so powerfully said, like running
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  away from a problem, you think you're running towards a solution, but you're running away from
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  a problem. That is just so beautiful, and it also summarizes like so many relationship conflicts,
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  dynamics, conversations. Is there a moment for you in your life that really summarizes when you
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  are trying to do that or not summarizes, but brings it to life? Then I was running from a problem.
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  Yes, I think many times, many times, but I will say the biggest challenge is childhood trauma.
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  The little parts of us that is still within us are in a child that has been, that has
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  disperceptions about how the childhood has been and which are totally valid, but it's also,
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  it can bring a lot of pain. That's what we carry often as an adult, and for me, it was the
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  family aspect. Yes, it was hard. It was hard in many different ways, which, well, I'm going to give
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  you a little bit personal, but one of the trauma that I had to face was as a eight-year-old,
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  my mom tried to kill herself. At that time, I was eight, and I arrived at the time, and I saved
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  her. I believed that I felt that responsibility towards her all my life,
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  subconsciously, to keep her alive, right? Funny? For many, many, many years after that,
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  I completely forgot that traumatic event, obviously. Navigating, you feel any ease,
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  but you still don't know why. Until I started to do a lot of healing and stuff like this,
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  like Shatsuo, Heiki, hypnosis, the massage, I learned in Bangkok to learn all that. I tried
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  everything, and of course, the energy were coming up until I had the memory coming back,
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  and it was like, and then I had to do the work to face that. Now, I'm so grateful that
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  it has been a journey. Let's be real. Every work that you do in front of your traumas,
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  it is work. It's not everyone is able to do that, but that's where you transmute and you start
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  to be happy after that. Once you let go of the AV energy, but you need to face the energy.
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  My word. First of all, thank you so much for your courage and vulnerability and sharing that
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  moment. I'm thinking of you as an eight-year-old and what you just so poetically beautifully
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  described of then subconsciously feeling like you were responsible and saving your mom the entire
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  time or carrying that weight and then therefore not feeling mothered and sort of that wound of
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  having to mother before you were even fully mothered as an eight-year-old. So I think that's
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  just so what's the word profound, heartbreaking, hard opening, all of the things, and then also what
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  you just described about how your subconscious to protect yourself, he raised the memory for time,
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  but that you also still sense like something is just so powerful and your courage to face that
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  moment when you could have continued to try and run from it and repress it. I know this is going
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  to help so many people just hearing that to are carrying, we're all carrying different traumas,
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  but for people to hear that specific experience. How have you released or shifted some of that feeling
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  of responsibility or feeling of saving your mom and become the person who has is saving you in a sense,
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  I mean the place that you're in now. I know you've mentioned all these beautiful different
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  modalities that you've walked on if you could maybe tap into your travels around the world
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  and your amazing search for healing, for transformation. I think first I'm going to be a bit,
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  ooh, you know, very strange. Same, same, same silence. Let's go there. But I know that it was
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  written in my soul, you know, to be a hammer healer. I know that, you know, come from a family of
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  healers. I know it was it's written in my soul. So I always, always been attracted to everything that
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  is a bit like grandma recipes, you know, like those witches things and I'm like, oh, baby,
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  and this herb and this and this smell, you're always, I love it. So that led me to discover, I have
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  this hanger to learn all the time, all the time. And, you know, to come back to the parents
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  old thing is that we all kids and we all have stories with our parents and some people have a
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  challenging story, let's say, either with the mom or with the father or both of them. And the
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  thing is after when you were saying like the subconscious like help you to forget, you forget,
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  but you don't really forget because triggers are the indication that there is something a story
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  that is activated within you, but you don't know why. You know, sometimes you can even see someone
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  and be like, I don't like this person, but you don't know why because you have a whole story
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  inside of you that is related to that person in a sense of maybe the person reminds you and consciously
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  of your grandmother that you didn't like. You know, that's what I mean. So there is a whole script
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  within you, but you don't remember all chapters. So it's that's why it's important to start to
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  to know yourself as much as possible, which is funny because we are so eager to to learn about
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  others. Now you meet someone, you want to know everything about a person or your best friend,
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  then you want to protect your best friend, you want to encourage your best friend or whatever.
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  But to do that to yourself, it's like a whole new, a whole new book. It's so difficult for so many
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  people. And we are looking for other people to do that to ourselves. Encourage me, validate me,
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  see me understand me, etc. So I guess that at some point, I decided I was always traveling to
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  different places to learn about other people. I guess it's because in my family, I so didn't
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  really know who I was as a mixed race person because as a mixed race, you are not fully white,
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  you are not fully black. So you just, you know, you're like, okay, who am I then? And the who am I
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  push me to travel and to go to India and to stay with families. They invited me with
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  their families to celebrate with them. I went to Hawaii and I was invited by a family. I went to
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  Greek, to Santorini. I was invited by a Greek family around the tables, speaking about
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  Socrates and philosophy. And always my travel brought me to very interesting places where I've
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  learned something about myself. And that's why I'm helping others to discover who they are and
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  to be comfortable with who they are, and apologetically. Where you started with the the
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  who of it and the fact that you believe your soul chose this and this image came to me of the
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  amount of darkness we go through is connected and proportional to the amount of light we're here
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  to reveal for ourselves, for others. And this image of you traveling the world, the image that
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  came to me was you mentioned sort of being mixed and not fitting in and finding belonging in either
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  of these communities or identities. And I got this instant image of like cracks and then someone
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  like slipping through the cracks but into a whole other world, a whole underworld, a whole world
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  driving this curiosity to find belonging and connection to the unseen, to spirit, to spirituality.
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  And to all these incredible cultural experiences that you've had across the world and the courage
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  that it takes, especially you know, you were traveling alone as a woman at this time. And there's
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  the openness to go into the unknown, you know, that's very scary for many of us. And then also you've
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  said so much that I I hope to respond to, but no, that I won't cover all the magic you've shared,
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  but what you shared about the fact that we don't even remember what actually happened and the
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  triggers and indication. It's so profound what we are all carrying just this morning, a client
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  as she should like in a container that I run just indicated that something I'd, you know, create
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  one of the links was incorrect, just neutral. But my nervous system was so activated. I was like,
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  I made a mistake and it is in my in a critic mind, it was like it's such a simple mistake. Like
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  you should at least if you're going to make mistakes, make more sophisticated mistakes, don't miss
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  up the time zone and this whole narrative. And I just, I was in the subway and I wanted to fix
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  the mistake instantly. I was like logging on to this this calendar event. I was like, okay,
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  let me just fix this. And I just sat and I was like, I'm literally about to go sit down. It's
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  going to be like 30 minutes later. Let's just sit here because sometimes we think being reactive is
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  being unkind or mean or sometimes it's solving something running to the solution instead of,
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  you know, running away from the problem. Well, yes, you know, you all know what I mean.
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  So I'm like, okay, girl, let's just let's just calm down what's happening inside. And I just had
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  this montage phase of like what it looked like to make mistakes and wanting to be perfect and not
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  wanting to ever sort of like color outside the lines that I was given as a child and really
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  valuing like this, this like structure and all of these things. And I was like, you're okay,
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  it's safe to make mistakes. It's safe to make mistakes in front of other people because that was
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  also the thing. And it's just we're carrying so much. So that came to me as you were saying that.
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  And I want to stay with with where you were where you were with these travels. But I did want to
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  share that that story of of carrying these. I love that. Yeah. These little packets of energy.
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  Then you tap into them and you're like, woo. Exactly. Wow. Exactly. It's like, you know, like often
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  I say that to my to my client is that inside of you, you have like kind of a castle, right? And
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  sometimes you have like a hole and you have a door. You have no idea where is this door going to
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  lead to. But you have to discover all the door. And because sometimes you're going to open the door
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  and it's going to be super messy and dark. And well, just tidy. And after you have a beautiful
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  castle, you know, castle. And that's basically the work of of the, you know, work, I would say,
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  you know, on that topic, I know that something you deeply care about is self love. And so I'm so
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  curious to tap into your wisdom on self love. And why do you think it is just so essential,
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  so the root of of everything? Oh, well, how can you love anyone else? You should don't love
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  yourself first. That's that's as simple as that. So we have this whole concept of self love. And
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  often what I hear is that people don't know the difference between self love and selfishness.
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  Oh, yes. No, this is a yeah. They're like, yeah, but if I don't know, if I love myself too much,
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  I might be selfish and say, no, it's not about too much. We can always remove the too much
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  of everything because the too much of everything is never too good. But I will say it's about
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  balance. And self love is exactly that. It's like, I am pouring into me so I can pour into you.
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  It's not I'm pouring into you, hoping that you will pour into me. That's not working. That's why
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  you create conflicts now because in your couple, you want, for example, the person to be like,
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  hey, on you or like looking after you and, you know, always. But what if you can do that for yourself?
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  If you do that for yourself, you will be at such a content place that you will attract a person
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  that will vibrate at the same frequency. It's basically why I'm saying that is because you will not
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  try to attract someone from a place of lack, someone or a job or whatever you are looking for.
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  But from a place of fulfillment. And that's a completely different place to be.
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  So you want to be with like, if we talk about relationship, you want to be with someone that is
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  fulfilled. Not someone is going to always tell you, where are you? What have you done? Where have
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  you been calling me? You know what I mean? It's because that person is not able to
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  be balanced within themselves in a sense of, if you have enough self-love for yourself,
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  I mean, self-love, you will not have to chase, chase anyone. I will say or correct anything.
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  Because everything is perfect also, you know, a new or perfect and is recognizing that perfection
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  into you so you can see it in others also. So how does it start? For me, self-love,
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  it has been a journey. Let's be honest, because we have this concept of self-love, but it's about
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  understanding it, but it's about experiencing it also. We can understand, but it's not about
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  when you say understand, it comes from the mind, feeling from the body. Self-love is a feeling,
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  massage, reading, meditation. It's a very soft, slow process that of food, nutrition,
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  or whatever brings you a good feeling. It's like almost like taking some good feeling
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  coins inside of your purse that is you. And then you can give to others from that place.
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  That's a stunning image, yes, like you're over in overflow. And it's such a the social level,
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  they don't want us to love ourselves, especially as women, women of color, a lot of different
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  people listening to this. There's so many ways that society, culture, systems
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  have created a world where what we think is selfish is self-loving. Then there's also obviously
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  pure selfishness and narcissism and all of those things. But I think it's so I see in the
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  collective that we are returning to self-love and reclaiming our time, reclaiming our energy,
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  reclaiming our joy and our peace and all of these things. And it's really beautiful to witness.
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  And of course, we all seek more guidance on that. And I think what you've just discussed
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  is such a beautiful point that sometimes we intellectualize or I understand self-love,
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  but we don't embody it. And something that I think is also very important with self-love is
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  sometimes it's doing the opposite of what a part of you really wants to do. Sometimes the self-loving
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  thing to do is to go to bed instead of scrolling on your phone or it's to nourish yourself with
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  food that's going to make you feel energized rather than depleted or just energetically off.
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  And so how do we balance? Sometimes we talk about more the massages and the reading, which is
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  so important. And also how does self-love manifest for you and your clients when it's a little bit
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  more, it's leaving the relationship that you don't really want to leave. It's a challenge. It's
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  like the mother, that archetype of love. It's not that it's as easy. Love is, but there's an energy
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  and a courage and also like a discomfort there. The way that I do it is that I work with the
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  subconscious mind. Because I can tell you, I can tell everyone, anyone that smokes cigarettes,
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  for example, you know, it can kill you, you should stop. We know that. It doesn't mean that the
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  person is going to stop because there is something else behind holding that person with the cigarettes
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  because it prevents something. It helps with something. And that is when it's important to stop
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  and sit with yourself and be like, why am I doing what I'm doing? Right? But so when you work with
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  a subconscious mind, which is 95% of who we are as humans, 5% is the mind. Yeah, the consciousness
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  like, okay, oh, yes, I should stop smoking. But 95% is this subconscious that we are not aware
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  of until it becomes conscious. So this old castle of a lot of rooms inside of you that you have no
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  idea how they look like. That's your subconscious. So basically when there is something so hard,
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  for example, I want to be seen, but I'm self-sabotaging and I can't be in front of the camera or I
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  am in a relationship that is toxic and but you know, we still play the game, etc., etc.
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  is that now we need to tap into your subconscious to find out why you are doing what you're doing.
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  And then release that energy that is blocked within yourself in order to change frequency
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  vibration. Then you attract everything is vibration, right? This is vibration, this is vibration,
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  this is vibration. So any EE vibrate at a certain frequency. So let's say in our simplify,
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  obviously, but in my body with all my stories, my traumas, my challenges, my love, my
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  this, my dad, my vibration is 110 hertz, let's say. And this is at 300. And I want this until
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  that I will vibrate. I will not vibrate at the same frequency. I will not reach that.
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  It won't be in my reality. That's why I'm saying it's so important to release the heavy energy.
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  So you can be in front of another type of energy. And the one that is more aligned with the reality
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  that you want to manifest. Yes, oh, yes. The thing that came to my mind is the belief.
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  So I used to have a belief that like, there were no good men or like men or not XYZ. And I date
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  men. So then I think I heard something on a podcast where someone was like, well, how are you going
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  to have a beautiful relationship with a man and believe they're on beautiful men? How's that
• 30:52
  going to work? And I released that belief. And now I'm, and I feel this absolute shift in my
• 30:57
  energetic field. It's not that I'm now in a relationship, but I can feel that from this place,
• 31:02
  I'm vibrating at that 300 where I'm like, there are beautiful men. There are wonderful. And so
• 31:07
  I think that is an example that came to me of like the thing you want, a beautiful relationship,
• 31:12
  a beautiful partner, is not at the same level as there are no beautiful relationships. There
• 31:17
  are no beautiful partners. And so you could be in an elevator. That could be the beautiful person
• 31:22
  that you are destined to be with, but you have this belief. There are no beautiful people to date.
• 31:26
  Everyone is this. Everyone is that every city has a story. No one in Barcelona, no one in
• 31:30
  you know, Lagos, no one in London, no joke, it's always, it's a story. And I also hold a lot of love
• 31:36
  for the fact that dating in the world with modern technology and it is, yes, we hold the both
• 31:42
  and the other paradox because we also don't want to invalidate the very real stories that are being
• 31:48
  lived. But I love what you're saying about working with clients on the subconscious. Is there a way
• 31:53
  someone can guide themselves through one of your practices? Yeah, well, yeah. Once again,
• 31:59
  is you can do a hotel hypnosis, yes, but it's always easier to do it with someone else obviously
• 32:05
  because obviously you need to have like a, I don't even know the word that I will use, but
• 32:12
  it's not even strong will to be able to face your fear, you know, but you are going into, it's like
• 32:19
  for example, when you dream, yes, you can have very vivid dream and like almost nightmare and wake
• 32:25
  up and be like shaken. That's what you do when you do the healing. Yeah, you're going to face
• 32:30
  the dragons, your own demons, dragons, whatever you want to call it. So obviously it's,
• 32:38
  it's, you can do it yourself with called auto hypnosis, but honestly, it's now it's better to do
• 32:45
  it with someone. So the person can guide you when, yeah, so that's the trick. I have, I think,
• 32:54
  on my website, some, you know, audio, like hypnosis to help with this type of thing. Yes,
• 33:01
  beautiful. And we will link to that in the show notes. Do you want to say the name of the website?
• 33:05
  Or, yeah, Virginie is my name. Virginie Audre. Audre, my, my, actually Audre is not my surname,
• 33:12
  it's my third first name. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Love it. Is Virginie is my African
• 33:19
  grandmother. And Audre was my mom wanted to call me like this. So I have these two names.
• 33:26
  Lovely. Virginie Audre. Yes. Beautiful. Yeah. And so I feel like with the self-love
• 33:33
  journey that we're talking about, it's so related to what you said. I'm still the image of you
• 33:37
  as an eight-year-old and loving these parts of ourselves and being with them and being present to
• 33:44
  them. And I love parts work and understanding these different little parts of ourselves and how
• 33:49
  they come up. How, what would you say to the listener about how they can be with these different
• 33:56
  parts of themselves that come up? You know, we all have these moments where we're like, well,
• 33:59
  part of me wants to do this, part of me wants to do that, where we feel something and we can feel,
• 34:04
  it's, it's coming from perhaps a younger version of ourselves or something that was conditioned
• 34:10
  within. I think there's all these different parts. And so I'm curious how you would guide or any
• 34:17
  advice you have for people on these different parts within them and creating harmony within.
• 34:24
  Well, you know, like I was saying, and that is Carl Jung, let's say that Carl Jung said,
• 34:30
  until that you, I think Carl Jung or is it Einstein? I think it's Carl Jung, but it's basically until
• 34:37
  that you make the unconscious conscious, you will repeat the same type of life, yeah, basically.
• 34:44
  So it's about being conscious. And how do you become conscious by always being connected to
• 34:51
  yourself? So no dissociation where we were talking about earlier. Because that's with your
• 34:58
  emotions and your feelings that you will get to know yourself. And then you will have the
• 35:03
  indication of what part of myself is, is talking to me right now or reacting.
• 35:10
  For example, with the link that you, you explain, is that the, the, my inner child that feels
• 35:17
  that she did something wrong or is it, and then after, oh, it's my inner critique. And so it's
• 35:23
  like almost like you are observing those parts of you and just bring them what they need.
• 35:29
  So it's like, no, I did something wrong. It's like, okay, like you exactly like you did
• 35:35
  reassurance. It's okay, you know, and actually people connect with you even better when it's not
• 35:42
  perfect because you make them also imperfect because we all imperfect instead of you being on a
• 35:47
  pedestal and being like, oh my god, she's so perfect. You know, so it's, it's about reframing
• 35:53
  your story. And then your reality is going to change. But for that, you need to have a dialogue
• 36:00
  with your inner in your inner parts, you know. But for that, you need to also be conscious of that.
• 36:08
  Like, ooh, I've been triggered. Okay, that's an indication. Why do I feel sad? I feel sad because
• 36:17
  this person told me this. Why do she told me this? Okay, well, maybe I'm upset with her, but why am I sad?
• 36:25
  I'm sad because he reminds me of when my father used to tell me that I didn't do my own work well.
• 36:33
  Okay, so that little me, she's still here, obviously, because she's sad. So it's like sitting with
• 36:40
  yourself and like talking to that part of you and being, no, don't be sad. I'm here for you.
• 36:46
  You know, that adult part, that soulful part needs to talk with the little one that is still
• 36:52
  within you and will always be within you. She needs reassurance, she needs validation, she needs to
• 36:59
  be understood and seen. All the things that she lacked, maybe as a child, I'm not saying that's
• 37:05
  the parents that did, but that's the perception at least that we had of what happened.
• 37:10
  That is important to give that to the part of yourself that needs it. If it's the inner
• 37:16
  critic to be like, thank you so much for warning me, but we got this. Don't worry, you know,
• 37:23
  so reframing. That is so powerful. The reframing, the giving, the creating a space even to listen
• 37:31
  to what each of these parts need, which is where it starts sometimes again, like you said earlier,
• 37:36
  we're just silencing avoiding. And these parts also, I love that they also have, they have wisdom
• 37:43
  for us. They want something for us. Sometimes it's like you're in a critic once excellence for you.
• 37:49
  And that's okay. We don't have to make that wrong. We can just say, okay, so how can I,
• 37:54
  what do you need to feel safe, loved, seen in a way that is not destructive to me? And this is the,
• 38:01
  also the inner, in a family systems, I have S work of that they each can become a guide, a mentor,
• 38:09
  the book, no bad parts for anyone who wants to dive deep on the topic, change my life last year,
• 38:15
  or in the last year, but that you're in a critic, you're in a child, you're different in a children,
• 38:21
  you know, the voice within you, they have a whole value system and a whole set of fears and
• 38:25
  desires and hopes. And we can really create harmony with these parts of ourselves by creating space
• 38:31
  to listen to them. So thank you for that wisdom of, you know, what do they need? And how can we reassure
• 38:37
  them? How can we give them love? I think that's such a beautiful invitation for each of us.
• 38:42
  And you will do that to a kid, right? Hopefully. If you have a little kid next to you screaming like
• 38:48
  crazy, you will stop and ask, how can you help? Yes, exactly the same. What are you feeling? Yes,
• 38:55
  that must be so hard for you. I understand. Yeah. And I'm so curious because sometimes with self-love,
• 39:02
  I'm what I would love to go to is how do we make it easier for each other to love ourselves?
• 39:07
  You know, we often think about this is, this is my work, you know, it's a more individualistic
• 39:12
  framing. And I do agree, there's a set of, there's an inner world here that only I can touch and
• 39:17
  it is my sanctuary and it is my heaven as well. It can be, it can become my heaven on earth, my work
• 39:22
  in this life. But I'm also conscious of this, you know, relational life. We all live friendships,
• 39:27
  lovers, partners, parents. And I really care deeply about relationship and how we can have
• 39:34
  really beautiful thriving, expansive, conscious relationships. That doesn't mean there's no,
• 39:39
  it's like conflict becomes this beautiful space within them. And so I'm wondering in a,
• 39:45
  interpersonally, like, how do we support each other in this work?
• 39:49
  You mean with someone else? Yeah. Yes. Like, how can I show up in such a way that makes it
• 39:54
  easier for you to love you and therefore also love me? It's about really loving yourself. Yes,
• 40:04
  loving yourself and showing the way basically. If I'm, you know, for example, for me, I have a huge
• 40:13
  amount of self-love now. But as I'm doing activities, you know, that demonstrate that self-love,
• 40:21
  you know, this time, like, walking in nature on my own or leaving my phone for like 24 hours,
• 40:28
  sometimes people, you know, like send me a message and for 48 hours, I don't even look at my phone
• 40:34
  and, you know, this type of little things. And that actually because of who this, this see me as I am,
• 40:42
  like relax or grounded or non-reactive, you know, so they're inspired. And then they can ask.
• 40:51
  And that's basically how we can all do that is that because my conception before was like,
• 40:57
  I need to change you, you know, the two feel better. Yes. I think a lot of people are like this.
• 41:03
  Like, no, you shouldn't do this. No, you shouldn't do that. No, because it makes you feel more
• 41:08
  comfortable. Totally. That's why control is such crazy things that can drive us crazy,
• 41:16
  really, because I need to control. But you can't really control anything, you know, because this
• 41:22
  life is moving. It's everything is changing. So the only thing that you can control is yourself.
• 41:31
  So as soon as you start to bring into you, you can help others because you are coming from
• 41:38
  place full of love. Imagine like, it's like, it's like water, you know, it's like, like I was saying,
• 41:46
  you can, I can give you some love only if my inner bottle is full. And I think it's about
• 41:54
  inspiration. Be the change that you want to see in the world, basically. And the world will get
• 41:59
  inspiration. There is no one to control or nothing really. Yes, I still love the coins and the
• 42:09
  filling your cup. I love what you're sharing about, you know, taking time to be with yourself
• 42:14
  with the time away from your phone, nourishing yourself, spending time in nature. These things are
• 42:19
  so beautifully nourishing to the spirit. And then from that place, we can, you know, love each other
• 42:25
  and show up for each other in beautiful ways. And control. Oh, yes, that is definitely
• 42:31
  such an important lesson that I am more and more trying to release. It's something that's one
• 42:37
  of my souls lessons in this life is releasing control. I am Capricorn rising, like also,
• 42:45
  I'll just own it outside of that framing within myself. I just, I'm like, everything needs to be
• 42:50
  the way I needed it to be. And with my, with this voice healing journey, it has really been an
• 42:56
  invitation into surrender, not being able to control. And although ways we try to exert control,
• 43:03
  we don't have it. So we say, so for example, I started to have these voice issues in February.
• 43:09
  And I would tell myself, oh, no, it'll be better by March. It will be better by April. It'll be
• 43:13
  better by May. And it was my way of trying to exert control on an uncontrollable reality. And so
• 43:19
  the surrender of, yes, life is dynamic, like you said, it's such a, it's deeply uncomfortable.
• 43:26
  And it feels and it goes so against how many of us have been conditioned and raised. And
• 43:34
  with this illusion of control and goals and, you know, outcomes and all of this sort of
• 43:39
  toxic masculine, Western energy of exerting control and reality, which is basically what
• 43:45
  colonialism and all of these different forms of power and control have tried to do.
• 43:52
  So the question that I want to ask you next, a lot of people
• 43:59
  feel that they, they know that they want to love themselves more, but they experience these
• 44:05
  gaps in their day to day experience. Well, let's say they do something, quote unquote, wrong. And
• 44:11
  instead of the self-loving approach, they maybe are self-critical and shame themselves or
• 44:16
  shame because of the shame that they've carried. So in that pattern interrupt, what is something
• 44:22
  that they can say, do, embody that can support them in those moments? I mean, they happen all
• 44:29
  the time. I think you've, you've shared some, but I just want to make sure that we can support
• 44:33
  people in those moments. So when the inner critics kicks in. Yes. I think once again, it's about
• 44:41
  being conscious that is happening because often is unconscious. So it's like almost like having
• 44:46
  someone next to you, imagine if I was next to you in your ear and telling you already
• 44:51
  horrendous things, you will not be happy to be here to be next to me, right? It's the same
• 44:56
  what we do in our mind. So it's about being conscious. And once again, being like, okay,
• 45:03
  don't worry, let's do it. We do link. It's okay. I got this. It's just like, it's always like,
• 45:11
  yeah, being conscious. That's the first thing, being aware. Okay, there is something happening.
• 45:17
  I'm not feeling so good right now. And I feel it's my fault and this and that. It's like, okay,
• 45:22
  yes, maybe it's my fault, but I'm a human being. I can make mistakes. And you can make mistakes.
• 45:29
  And next time you will do better. That's what you will do for a child. Imagine the child is like
• 45:34
  trying to start to walk on his two feet and he's like, whoop and he falls. Are you going to
• 45:40
  like insult the child? Telling him, you are so stupid. You are so bad. Look, you can't even like
• 45:48
  do two two steps in front of one another. No, you're not going to do that. You're going to
• 45:53
  encourage that kid, that child. That's exactly what I want you to do with yourself. Because that's
• 46:01
  little one inside of you. She needs encouragement. She needs love not to have the repeat
• 46:07
  things that maybe once when she was little, she heard about, oh, you shouldn't do this or shouldn't
• 46:12
  do that. Because if at some point in your life, he has been painful as a kid to hear that you
• 46:22
  were not doing good enough, why are you perpetrating this today as an adult? Yes. How can you
• 46:29
  become the healing you always sought, the parent you always sought, the elder you always sought,
• 46:34
  the person who was and it's beautiful to witness that so many people are doing that work of
• 46:39
  becoming more of what they're in a child we're seeking, which is really beautiful to witness.
• 46:46
  I think with access to all this beautiful information and healers and people who are studying
• 46:52
  all these different forms of what healing means and also returning us to we don't need to study it.
• 46:57
  It's also an embodied feeling. It's really beautiful and encouraging because I'm thinking that some
• 47:02
  people might think some people would be mean to that child. We do have this mistreatment of children
• 47:09
  that then creates this. But I guess that we want different now. Yes, exactly. So we have to be
• 47:19
  different. Exactly. And it's about breaking the generational trauma and cycles and not repeating
• 47:28
  over and over the same. Yes. And I also feel so passionately about also reintegrating generational
• 47:35
  gifts like what you said about your grandmother and how it's like I think there is in the collective
• 47:41
  quite a focus, which I think everything happens in cycles. And I think that's our work now is to
• 47:46
  focus on trauma and unconditioning and unlearning. And also there's so many gifts each of us
• 47:52
  carries from our lineage or we wouldn't be here first of all. But second of all, you may find
• 47:57
  you love singing and your grandparents or someone in your life. There's just so much nourishment
• 48:02
  that we can also find in our lineages. And I think there is an overident. It's very important.
• 48:07
  So I don't want to downplay, you know, like the deep ancestral trauma of racism, sexism,
• 48:14
  like fleeing abuse trauma. A lot of just huge, huge things. So I don't want to downplay that at all.
• 48:20
  And also we all have such incredible gifts we've inherited, which is amazing.
• 48:25
  Amazing to also celebrate like wow, we are a celebration of life. We're each walking embodiments
• 48:32
  of that of like an orgasm. And I mean that in many different ways of life coming together.
• 48:39
  Absolutely. You know, which is amazing. Yes. We are miracle. We really are.
• 48:44
  A miracle. How do we stay in touch with that? You know, where you started us off, the soul being
• 48:48
  that godly part of us or what you've been sharing about this beautiful castle of the
• 48:54
  of the self such wonderful imagery you're giving us. How do we stay in touch with the miracle
• 49:00
  of each of us? And each other. I would say that, you know, it's about being in the present
• 49:07
  moment. A lot. Because her mind is not able to be in the present moment. That's the body.
• 49:17
  So when you are dissociated, you can often you are often in your mind. And the mind brings you
• 49:23
  in the future, in the past. Future is anxiety. Past is depression. But the body is in the present.
• 49:30
  So when the mind is here and the body is here, there is an anxiety. There is a gap because it's
• 49:36
  not there is no alignment. Yeah. But you need to be in alignment to fill your soul, your body,
• 49:42
  your mind, your heart, you know, alignment. Like you can imagine the chakras. You remember,
• 49:47
  I had the all right, the chakras like the image. That's the same. It's like it has to be aligned.
• 49:52
  So in order to hear your soul, I would say it's actually quite easy. It's about
• 50:01
  quieting the mind of your sleep because the mind speaks a lot. Future or the past. And
• 50:10
  when what's interesting is that you can hear the soul when you slow down and you are more
• 50:19
  in touch with your body and when it feels good. That's as simple as that. Your soul wants
• 50:30
  you to feel good all the time. So everything that feels good,
• 50:36
  everything that feels good usually is driven by the soul. But if you, for example,
• 50:43
  I don't know like it's a huge chocolate cake. The question always is,
• 50:52
  am I enjoying myself or am I trying, for example, to stuff myself to feel, to numb myself?
• 51:02
  So you see, and if there is, okay, I'm numb being myself. So behind again, and then there is
• 51:10
  something in energy stuck. Yeah. I'm trying to avoid that pain. So I'm numb being,
• 51:19
  numbing. So that's why is that am I enjoying myself? I'm having a piece of chocolate or am I
• 51:26
  doing something because I'm numbing myself? So it's always like being aware and understanding
• 51:32
  where you're coming from. You see? And how to do it to others is basically the same.
• 51:43
  You know, it's like, for example, if someone drains you or gives you energy,
• 51:49
  if you have friends around you or colleagues or whatever, you know if that person is going to drain
• 51:56
  you or gives you energy. And this is the same. Like, well, maybe your soul is telling you,
• 52:03
  you don't especially need to spend time with someone that is going to drain your energy.
• 52:14
  It's like eating food that is not good for your body. Are you going to do that?
• 52:21
  Yeah, some people do. But is it good? Does it make you feel good about yourself with energy?
• 52:27
  Probably not. Sometimes maybe you are at work and you cannot run away from people in
• 52:32
  energy or energy, right? But so it's about, okay, I love myself enough to have boundaries
• 52:40
  and to be maybe assertive, to be like just to sentences. And that's it. You know what I mean?
• 52:47
  Instead of some people are people pleaser and can like stay because they don't want
• 52:52
  unconsciously look bad of being rude and impolite if they walk away.
• 52:58
  May the self-love that I have now is that I'm polite, but I do not, I'm not going to have
• 53:06
  a long conversation if I can feel that there is no connection.
• 53:12
  Because I respect enough the other person in front of me to no waste day time and to no waste my time.
• 53:20
  And that is self-love and love for the other person too. That's respect.
• 53:28
  So yeah, sometimes people feel like, oh yeah, but am I being selfish?
• 53:34
  You know, in this example, no, you are being loving towards yourself, right?
• 53:42
  It's like, yeah, actually, it makes me better, it makes me happy. Okay, so that's good.
• 53:48
  Are you still respecting the other person? Are you being rude? No, you're not being rude.
• 53:53
  Okay, then amazing.
• 53:56
  That meeting place that you've just subscribed of, it's not, I love how you said, it wouldn't be
• 54:05
  respectful to them and it wouldn't be respectful to me. That's so generative and beautiful.
• 54:11
  And also other people sort of deserve to be with people who want to be with them. So it's exactly,
• 54:17
  yeah, it's a beautiful way to express it. And what you said about it feels good.
• 54:22
  Like something in my spirit slowed down as well and felt how good it feels to,
• 54:28
  yes, to do things that feel good and to really lean into that pleasure and that aliveness
• 54:34
  that we, I feel, access, as you said, by slowing down, by dropping in.
• 54:39
  And we're not granted a lot of space and freedom. We have to grant that to ourselves.
• 54:43
  No one will tell us, oh, you should just go, go a little bit slower like you, you share.
• 54:49
  So it is this juiciness, you know, this like, this aliveness and what you said about the past
• 54:55
  and the future and being in the present, that's also why I love creativity so much because you
• 55:00
  can only create now. We cannot create, you know, we're creating in this moment and when we're
• 55:06
  dancing or singing or just these cooking, doing these nourishing things of turning the unseen
• 55:14
  and creating something seen from it, it's just such a magical and embodied experience if we allow
• 55:19
  it to be. So I just love this framing of that we find our soul, like the portal to the soul is
• 55:28
  the present, is presence. And that's how we find this alignment and it's the body, the breath,
• 55:33
  like the vessel of the body will tell you. Yes, the body will tell you that's why body is so alive.
• 55:39
  If you sit on the beach and you watch sunset, it makes you feel good. I don't, you don't know why
• 55:45
  there is nothing tangible, right? But it's like it's the feeling because your body is alive, you know,
• 55:52
  sometimes if you the other day I was walking and it was super windy and I could feel so much
• 56:02
  the wind on my skin and I was like, wow, that feels so good because it felt like almost like
• 56:09
  no massage but like like something so soft and I was like super grateful because I was like, wow,
• 56:16
  I'm really in the present moment because I could feel the wind. It was no crazy wind but like I
• 56:20
  could feel it so much. I was like, wow, I'm really in the present moment. And that is the essential part
• 56:29
  is like, you know, for example, if you for the for the man that play football or for the girl,
• 56:35
  like painting or why is because your body is bringing you into the present moment.
• 56:45
  When you walk in nature, you feel like, because you are here and now that's what that's the power
• 56:51
  of nature, what she brings you, she brings you here and now with her.
• 56:57
  I'm loving this image of the wind caressing you. Like we live in a very erotic experience.
• 57:03
  You know, if we are choose to see it this way, very alive, erotic by that I just mean
• 57:08
  a live full of possibility, full of touch literally like we're always in some way
• 57:15
  being invited into something that sometimes we are not conscious enough to really tap into
• 57:20
  like, wow, the sip of tea instead of rushing it. Can I really be present to it? And I think that
• 57:26
  energy is such it's a very feminine energy. And as we've spoken about so often that that is so
• 57:32
  we're so conditioned out of resting in that energy. I would I know that's something you you deeply
• 57:39
  care about. Can you tell us more about for anyone listening of all genders like the importance
• 57:45
  of connecting with our feminine energy? And I just want to be clear that we're not talking about
• 57:50
  we're talking about an energy spectrum like yin and yang that we all have access to both and
• 57:55
  that is our balance. The feminine energy is extremely important. We yin and yang,
• 58:06
  we all have as men or women, we have masculine and feminine energy within us.
• 58:13
  And the masculine is more action-based obviously. And outer us, I don't know if you say that,
• 58:22
  you know outside of us. And the feminine is slower, is represented by the color black, so you know
• 58:29
  the earth, the soil. And it's represented by the moon and is the feminine energy nurturing energy,
• 58:39
  loving energy. The action, the masculine is more represented by the sun, you know, that
• 58:49
  the action, yeah. So it's super important because we have for years and years and years and years
• 58:58
  being in the mind, we need to create, we need to do, do, do, do. But hello, we are human being,
• 59:05
  not human doing. And that's why we forgot. So we forgot that part of us then needs to be also
• 59:11
  in order to do. Yeah, you cannot, I don't know, create a wall without your hands. Yes, you need to
• 59:18
  be in a line with your body in order to do something. And so we have forgotten that. And that's why
• 59:27
  there is so many depression or burnout, you know, because at some point the spectrum or the space
• 59:39
  of inside of you imagine, you have all the space that is white like action. And there is nothing
• 59:47
  for the feminine, which is self-love, nurturing, nutrition and slowing down, etc. There is no space
• 59:56
  for that. Of course, at some point it's going to like the machine is going to burn, no? Like we smoke,
• 1:00:05
  like I'm done. I'm going to be a bit even going a bit further is that I believe that if
• 1:00:16
  it's so challenging to be in touch with how feminine energy is often because,
• 1:00:23
  subconsciously, the feminine energy has been associated by with the relation that we had with
• 1:00:29
  a feminine figure in her life, which is often the mother. So if we had a, I don't want to say
• 1:00:37
  traumatic, but like a challenging relation, depending on if you're a woman with the mother,
• 1:00:43
  you can often happen loving relationship, but it's it's like mother daughters. It can be like
• 1:00:52
  some tension growing up or whatever. So basically for, and I've seen that in so many of the people
• 1:01:02
  and I have worked with and myself too, is that if this part of you has been kind of, oh, I don't
• 1:01:09
  want to be like this subconsciously, yeah? Once again, I don't really want to be like my mother,
• 1:01:13
  for example, then you repress that feminine part if the mother has been super feminine, obviously.
• 1:01:20
  And then you are maybe even more in your masculine, but at some point because a woman it's
• 1:01:28
  biologically, we're not supposed to be in the masculine all the time. We are not, we are supposed,
• 1:01:35
  we're not built like this. If we go back in history, the men were going to hunt, right? So they were
• 1:01:44
  like in the doing in the action to nourish the family and the women, we were like picking the
• 1:01:50
  bays and the berries, I mean, and we were nourishing, cooking and I'm talking, you know, and that was
• 1:01:58
  the role of the feminine, nurturing the kids, et cetera. So, you know, after the evolution in
• 1:02:05
  our society, we have like, okay, women, we need to go, go, go, and dependence and this and that,
• 1:02:12
  which is beautiful, but we almost have suppressed so much that feminine part of us that is needed
• 1:02:21
  also in order to fuel the outside. Yeah, like creation, for example, which is around the belly
• 1:02:32
  button, the chakra, yeah, inside, it's orange, the orange color. It needs, it's a feminine energy
• 1:02:40
  and you cannot create something outside of you if you don't nourish first that energy within you.
• 1:02:47
  And how you nourish that is by sitting with it, by nourishing it, by listening to it, by
• 1:02:53
  understanding it, by being patient with it, feminine. And it's the same for men, it's exactly the
• 1:03:01
  same because a lot of men and I had as clients, they, behind closed doors, they are exhausted too.
• 1:03:08
  They are, they have to produce for the family and there's so many
• 1:03:12
  responsibilities, you know, because they need that too. Yeah, it's so true. It's like this
• 1:03:21
  at a cultural level, the feminine is repressed from men, from women, from non-binary people,
• 1:03:28
  from everyone because of capitalism and supremacy and all of these different systems that need us
• 1:03:35
  to not be slowing down, not be resting and not be nurturing because it's a system rooted in
• 1:03:42
  the myth of scarcity and competition and productivity culture and all of these associating your
• 1:03:49
  worth with what you produce, but not the love you produce, not the nurturing energy you produce,
• 1:03:54
  or the care, or the softness, but that's not what brings money exactly. Exactly. And so I feel there's
• 1:04:02
  just in the whole world, this need to be, be in deep a touch with that energy, but also to create
• 1:04:12
  a world system that nourishes the feminine in each person and views it as sacred and views it as
• 1:04:21
  deeply generative as like the womb, you know, the space, the darkness, the soil, where life only
• 1:04:28
  life can only pass through that. It cannot skip over this need for you can't have a baby come out
• 1:04:34
  in one month. There's like a natural rhythm to life that we've been made to live out of with the
• 1:04:40
  way that of like industrialization, capitalism and all these things and then colonialism and
• 1:04:44
  these things that we're all carrying in our bodies also that have affected us and how we've tried
• 1:04:51
  to then survive in these systems. And so it's, it's a lot of work and I think that for those of us
• 1:04:58
  who can create space to be in touch with that energy and trust it because sometimes we don't just,
• 1:05:04
  we don't trust the feminine energy in us. There's a part of us that's like, why don't you,
• 1:05:09
  this happens to me with working out sometimes. I'm like, why don't you not go to work out today?
• 1:05:13
  Why don't you just rest? I'm like, no, no, no, but the health, like I need to, you know, like I need,
• 1:05:17
  I'm like, and then when I listen, something always, something fascinating, beautiful magical will
• 1:05:24
  happen in that feminine energy of slowing down, not needing to prove anything, not having to do
• 1:05:31
  anything, being with myself, nourishing myself, it's a beautiful space and you have to feel worthy
• 1:05:39
  of it though to receive it. And so many of us don't and haven't seen role models who got the
• 1:05:46
  privilege of being in that energy because it is. Exactly. Yeah, we don't have many people,
• 1:05:52
  many women in our lives who we've seen rest in the in the healthy expression of that because both
• 1:05:57
  the feminine masculine obviously have their unhealthy expressions. So yeah. Yeah, I agree. And also,
• 1:06:05
  I don't want to diminish the fact that, you know, for example, some women, they have like
• 1:06:10
  three kids and they will tell me, Virginia, I cannot slow down. Totally.
• 1:06:15
  Obviously, I completely understand, but every time that I had a mother coming to me telling me this,
• 1:06:22
  what I will do is to force them to slow down. Yes, yes. And that's when life change.
• 1:06:32
  Because when you believe and your mind is telling you, you cannot slow down, you continue,
• 1:06:39
  you continue, you continue. Imagine like you will, you know, your car, you will go to the station,
• 1:06:45
  you will put some gas at some point in order to continue the road, right? It's the same.
• 1:06:51
  You cannot like continue being human being. Do you think, imagine, you need to sleep,
• 1:06:57
  you need to eat. These things are feminine, but we just don't look at it like it's important.
• 1:07:04
  It's like you, you know, and one thing that is interesting also that you mentioned, you said
• 1:07:09
  about going to the gym to work out. You say, my mind is telling me, you need to go. So that is
• 1:07:18
  an indication. When you say need, I need that, your mind, I need. That's your inner critic pushing
• 1:07:28
  you to do something. I invite you to reframe that by saying, I want, and that's a different
• 1:07:36
  type of energy. I want to work out today, but maybe I want to rest more. You know, so there is,
• 1:07:44
  that is self love. That's beautiful. Not to, but the way that you say the things, because I need,
• 1:07:51
  it's like almost like you, you, you have the pressure. Totally. Do you want to release the
• 1:07:56
  pressure? Do you want to put the pressure? And why you put pressure? Because often we were doing
• 1:08:02
  things and the pressure. So it feels familiar. So I might do it more if I'm putting pressure on
• 1:08:09
  myself. The self love journey is about, how can I carry on doing my life without putting pressure?
• 1:08:19
  But because it's not familiar, it feels weird. But that's exactly what I want, actually.
• 1:08:28
  You see? So I'm not waiting for you, for my boyfriend, for my mother, for ex or why, to tell me
• 1:08:36
  how beautiful I am or I should do this. I should do that. No, it's better to tell yourself first.
• 1:08:43
  And the other, the other people around you or things, situations, is bonus. Just extra.
• 1:08:49
  It's beautiful. Okay. Cool. Because you know already, you can validate yourself. You can see
• 1:08:55
  what you need. What you need. I love it. I love the reframe of there is the part of you that
• 1:09:02
  does want to work out. It's such a beautiful invitation to reframe because the desire I love
• 1:09:08
  desire, like desire as a concept, as a feeling of really leaning into that feeling of like
• 1:09:15
  longing and craving and yearning and wanting. It's just so alive to me. I love that energy. And
• 1:09:21
  when we can locate that energy within ourselves of like, oh, yes, part of me does want to go to this
• 1:09:26
  workout. I know how I'll feel afterwards. I know how I'll feel during not the whole time, but there
• 1:09:31
  are these moments where it will feel so juicy and strong and beautiful as well.
• 1:09:37
  And then part of me just wants to sit here. And that's there. They both can, it comes back to
• 1:09:41
  what we said about harmonizing. What do you need? What do you need? And I think sometimes within
• 1:09:46
  me, with the feminine and masculine conversation, it's sometimes it's like parents or a couple where
• 1:09:51
  it's like, okay, I've I know you want us to do this. Like for my inner masculine, like it's like
• 1:09:58
  my inner feminine will be like, I know you want us to spend the Saturday morning working because
• 1:10:03
  that's what you think, you know, we need to do to get where we're going. But we've listened to you
• 1:10:09
  quite a bit this week. Like, why don't you let me, you know, I love you. I cherish you. You're
• 1:10:14
  trying to build the palace that I'm going to risk within because that's how I see the conversation
• 1:10:19
  within myself. It's like there's a part of me that wants to build something and there's a part of
• 1:10:22
  me that wants to receive something having been built. And we are not used like the conversation that
• 1:10:28
  that happens within of that of like, there's a part of me that wants to just receive. And then there's
• 1:10:33
  a part of me that does want to give to myself also to the world and also to myself like to have
• 1:10:39
  said, wow, we like created that like we did it. We, but then it's like neither is right or wrong.
• 1:10:45
  There is a partnership happening. And many of us are not used to sort of animating that conversation
• 1:10:51
  of like, what is my inner mask? I asked myself like, what is my inner masculine want? What is my
• 1:10:55
  inner feminine want? What is my inner masculine believe? She believes she has to work really hard
• 1:11:01
  in order to get to somewhere. And then the feminine is like, oh, you're always worthy of rest.
• 1:11:06
  You don't need to do anything. You need to like, you want to read this book or you want to do
• 1:11:11
  something that may not make sense. But it watch it makes sense. Just just just let me take the
• 1:11:17
  wheel, watch it makes sense. So it's a beautiful, it can be such a delicious conversation. We just
• 1:11:21
  aren't really invited into it very often. How do you, oh, sorry, go ahead. I was going to say just
• 1:11:28
  that, you know, earlier you said, yeah, the trust having faith is can be difficult to let go of
• 1:11:35
  control. That's what you said. And because that's feminine also, you know, having faith, trust,
• 1:11:42
  because it's everything that is kind of abstract. And as you can't see, that's feminine. And because
• 1:11:47
  we want to control so much, which is the mind, the masculine, it can be difficult to leave the space
• 1:11:53
  for the feminine because you have to trust. And that is detachment and surrounding, surrounding,
• 1:12:02
  you know, letting go. A lot of people want to, but don't know how to.
• 1:12:08
  Wow. There is a song by beautiful chorus called trust in the process of life. And I listened to
• 1:12:14
  it on repeat to try and it's so beautiful. I'll send it to you. And I really recommend it. I'll
• 1:12:19
  put it in the show notes links. I listened to it on the way here. Whenever I'm using that 5% of my
• 1:12:25
  mind to say, this should be this way or I'm not in trust. It really helps me. So I love that so
• 1:12:30
  much. I'm so curious with you tapping into this feminine energy for your, with your clients,
• 1:12:38
  with yourself, how do you hold that conversation within you between these, these different energies
• 1:12:44
  and parts of yourself? And how has that changed with time? At the beginning, you mean?
• 1:12:49
  Well, like your relationship with your feminine and masculine energy, how that's evolved over time
• 1:12:54
  and how you now hold that within you? I think for the longest time, it was a happy couple.
• 1:13:05
  Inside of me. It was one fighting the other one. Always happy. And happy. Yes. One that wanted to
• 1:13:13
  be right over the other one, you know, depending on what day. And I didn't understand that I needed
• 1:13:20
  to find harmony. So I guess that is once again, it's like experiencing so many crazy stuff, crazy
• 1:13:32
  lives, challenges that at some point I was like, hey, what I'm doing right? You know, it was an
• 1:13:38
  adjustment. Like what I'm doing right now is not working, obviously. So, you know, okay, let's
• 1:13:43
  try to do this or let's try to do that, et cetera, et cetera. So yeah. And you know,
• 1:13:50
  all the meditation and all the modalities that I tried, it took time. It did take time.
• 1:13:59
  But I think that for me, having such big awareness of me that I have the awareness and I can be
• 1:14:11
  present for others, you know, and I often say that to my clients also because they are never
• 1:14:19
  the first time and you know, it's like you are opening yourself up to someone that you don't know.
• 1:14:24
  Is that for me, I think it's the way that you have to see how to work with someone is that
• 1:14:34
  if you go to a mountain, if I take you to a mountain and I'm a guide, I'm not going to tell you,
• 1:14:39
  yeah, you have to go all the way up and you know, you turn right and don't try to try to not kill
• 1:14:44
  yourself, you know, on the way, but you will arrive to the top. That's not the type of guide I want.
• 1:14:49
  I want someone is going to work with me and say, hey, careful here or be careful there and we're
• 1:14:54
  going to go to the top together. And that's the type of person that I am and I work with the people,
• 1:15:00
  the people that work with me, because I have done the, you know, work, the discovery,
• 1:15:08
  you know, discovery. So I'm mirroring that to my clients and I show them how they can do that
• 1:15:16
  for themselves too. The difference is that I implement a lot of a lot, yes, a lot of self-love
• 1:15:25
  on the way, because releasing painful stuff, it's important to replace it with something that
• 1:15:33
  brings you love. Nature doesn't like emptiness, so nature will replace with something else.
• 1:15:41
  So it's better to choose. I love that. That's so beautiful. That's so powerful. It relates to
• 1:15:47
  beliefs, like instead of how can I unbelieve this, just creating what could be a more expansive
• 1:15:53
  nourishing belief that I could maintain and that has really helped me so much. And so what you're
• 1:15:58
  sharing about how you walk them through this mountain and side by side as they're as they're
• 1:16:04
  guide, allowing them to have their own journey, but them knowing and trusting that you're there.
• 1:16:09
  So Paul, it's so precious and it's that works just ripples across, you know, the relationships
• 1:16:16
  people have, how they parent, how they auntie, how they do all the things. And so it excites me
• 1:16:23
  that more and more people are accessing this work. And I hope that that just continues to grow and
• 1:16:30
  blossom. You know, I'm going to give you a quick example of so that comes to me right now.
• 1:16:38
  I was thinking about the mothers that are maybe looking, you know, watching your podcast and say,
• 1:16:45
  yeah, but I would love to slow down, but I cannot, you know, I don't have the capacity.
• 1:16:52
  I remember years ago, I was working with a little boy and, you know, often the kids that comes,
• 1:16:58
  it's because there is something with the parents. That's why they act the way they act often. I'm
• 1:17:03
  not saying all the time, but often. And I remember saying to him, what do you need? What do you want?
• 1:17:11
  You know, something like this. And he said to me, I want mommy to be happy.
• 1:17:16
  And basically, why was he fighting at school? Why was he? He was having such a bad
• 1:17:28
  behavior because he didn't know how to deal with these emotions. And so as soon as I worked with
• 1:17:37
  the mother also, yeah, things just unfold. So what I want to say is that because it's important,
• 1:17:45
  that's why it's so important to allow yourself to have those little moments of rest,
• 1:17:51
  of nourishment, of feminine energy in order to be able to do again outside of you and to be
• 1:17:56
  there for others. But because you will have been there for you first and often the mothers,
• 1:18:02
  they feel like, oh, I come after my kids. But the kids feel it. They're sponges. So it's important
• 1:18:10
  for, you know, for anyone around us really to feel that we are coming from a good place.
• 1:18:19
  That's how he has a ripple effect on others to come back to one of your first questions.
• 1:18:26
  And so yeah, it's not being selfish. It's about being generous really, depending on how far
• 1:18:35
  you want to give yourself that flow. After it's also respect of others, if you're not respecting
• 1:18:43
  anyone and it's just me, me, me, me, me. Of course, that's maybe there is too much there when
• 1:18:48
  we're talking about when it's too much. It's not good. You remove it too much.
• 1:18:54
  So yes. Wow. Oh, my word. That is so precious. I'm thinking of this little boy who just wanted
• 1:18:59
  his mom to be happy and her narrative that if she slowed down to be happy, the child wouldn't be
• 1:19:05
  okay. And actually, it's the opposite. It's so counterintuitive. And I have so much compassion
• 1:19:10
  for parents and especially without support systems and the way that all these
• 1:19:15
  lack of child care, all the systems we were talking about contribute to the story of overwhelm
• 1:19:23
  that parents are carrying. But I think that's such a beautiful example of the power of giving
• 1:19:29
  to yourself. And something that just came through as you were speaking was sometimes I love what
• 1:19:36
  you say that it's not selfish. It's generous. And I believe we each came here to be generous
• 1:19:43
  in specific ways. You know, you could be generous with your singing voice, with your energy,
• 1:19:46
  with your healing. And the problem is when you're overgiving or giving from people pleasing,
• 1:19:52
  the reason why part of that is selfish is now you're not embodying the actual generosity.
• 1:19:57
  You came here. You didn't come here to deplete yourself. You came here to give in a way that
• 1:20:01
  actually allows you to feel like you're also receiving. And so when we're in this people pleasing
• 1:20:06
  and being for everyone but ourselves, sometimes we think, oh, but I'm giving and giving, but it's
• 1:20:10
  like you're not doing your divine giving. And that's also going to feel like you're receiving.
• 1:20:15
  And it's going to feel there's going to be like a conversation that feels cosmic. And as long
• 1:20:20
  as you keep giving energy to this, which I gain, sometimes it's not possible to avoid. But when it
• 1:20:25
  is, when there are boundaries, we can say it's like it is generous because if I'm in my energy
• 1:20:31
  and alignment, like you beautifully said, then I can really give that like deathbed kind of
• 1:20:36
  giving where I'm going to look back and say, I did it. Like we did it. Exactly. Exactly.
• 1:20:44
  That's why it's so important. And if there is anyone guilt-tripping you
• 1:20:50
  for being generous with yourself, well, it will depend on the context. But to be a bit straight
• 1:21:01
  to the point, I would say that's the problem, not yours, you know, depending on who.
• 1:21:08
  It's your kid or your partner. Of course, you can have an old conversation about it saying,
• 1:21:13
  that's what you need in order to be present for them, you know, to give a bit of yourself. And I
• 1:21:18
  think everyone can understand that. So it's, yeah, it's an act of generosity to put boundaries.
• 1:21:28
  There is no self-flow without boundaries. It's like you're telling me, you have a beautiful house
• 1:21:33
  with all the furniture, but you don't have walls. Do you think that nobody is going to come and take
• 1:21:38
  all your furniture? Yes, boundaries are walls. And you, someone is ringing the bell and you open
• 1:21:48
  the door and maybe you want them to come in or maybe not. That's what you do with your house.
• 1:21:54
  Why would you not do that with your energy? It's exactly the same. That's what boundaries are.
• 1:22:02
  And it's, you will not let anyone come into your house. Why will you let anyone coming into your
• 1:22:08
  fields? Yes, wow, you've given us such a gem there in this image of the, of the, I love images
• 1:22:15
  and metaphors and analogies. It just makes it so alive. And what came through as you were saying
• 1:22:21
  that beautiful idea of the walls and the furniture is some people's work is also believing they
• 1:22:26
  have something worth protecting. And when we haven't been taught to value our energy, like we don't
• 1:22:31
  think this is a gift. This is sacred. This is like precious. This is, I, this deserves to be protected.
• 1:22:38
  It's just like with a child, you would never, you would do everything you can to protect the child.
• 1:22:43
  Give them, you know, support boundaries, all of the things. And so with our energy, for example,
• 1:22:48
  people who are really good listeners, but then you just give that energy to everyone. And then
• 1:22:52
  you're like, well, no one listens to me, which I totally hold space for and understand. But
• 1:22:57
  it's like if you start to view that gift of listening as deeply precious, then you can start having
• 1:23:03
  boundaries of, oh, I only listen when I feel hurt. Like I said, beautiful, polite boundaries,
• 1:23:09
  like you mentioned or loving boundaries, when I feel like my boundaries for being hurt are not
• 1:23:14
  being met. And I think it's such a beautiful image. I'm really obsessed with this walls and this
• 1:23:19
  idea of furniture. You know, like I had, I'm sure a lot of people will relate to that. But sometimes
• 1:23:28
  you have people asking you how you are and not really listening. You know, active listening is
• 1:23:36
  such a gift. It's like it's rare because people love to talk about themselves. That's how we are.
• 1:23:44
  But, you know, for example, I have this friend, she asked me all the time how I am and the second
• 1:23:48
  that I'm starting to talk, she takes her phone. And for me, before I was, okay, now that I have
• 1:23:57
  boundaries, I just stop. I don't, I don't continue to answer. I start. And as soon as I see that,
• 1:24:04
  I stop. Of course, she feels uncomfortable because there is blank. But that's my boundaries. It's
• 1:24:11
  like, I'm not, if you don't pay attention to me, why am I going to use my energy, my breath
• 1:24:20
  to tell you something that is like, no, it's like, no. So I'm just, okay, that's cool. You do,
• 1:24:27
  you do, you do me. And then, you know, she had just a behavior and I just mine. But that's how you
• 1:24:33
  work that game. You have to, to understand that it's not being and polite or being rude. But it's
• 1:24:42
  like, oh, this is not within my, it's, it's after my boundaries. It's just like for me, it's a
• 1:24:49
  no. If, if you're talking to me and I'm talking to you while you are on your phone, it means that you
• 1:24:55
  have something else to do somewhere else. So I'm going to wait until that you're here present with
• 1:25:00
  me. I feel so excited by you saying that because I have that boundary as well. And it is so
• 1:25:05
  magical and rare. I don't, I've never heard someone express that exactly like, how many,
• 1:25:10
  oh, I love what you're saying. I love that you have that boundary. It's a beautiful example
• 1:25:14
  of boundaries being about what we are willing to do and not do. And when you didn't say you tell
• 1:25:20
  her to stop, you say, I, I, you said the boundary of, I speak to people who are present, who are
• 1:25:27
  attending to me. I value what I'm saying. So I'm not going to, it's like throwing what I'm saying
• 1:25:31
  into the bin. And I'm not going to do that because I value my words. Exactly. I love that so much.
• 1:25:37
  I have the exact same boundary. If someone takes out their phone and mid sentence, I'll just stop
• 1:25:41
  and wait because that's, and it's a, it's a self-worth thing as well because you have to feel worthy
• 1:25:46
  of someone's full presence. And we are worthy of that. Exactly. And often the people that feel
• 1:25:53
  and worthy are the one that's super present for others because they would like others to do
• 1:25:59
  the same for them. That's why the roles has to be reversed. It's like, okay, how can I be present
• 1:26:05
  for myself? So true. So if this person is not present for me, it's, it's okay because I'm here
• 1:26:10
  for myself. And if the person is present for me, bonus, amazing. Yes. Yes. You see, and that is,
• 1:26:19
  that's an act of self-love. Yeah. It's not being selfish. You see, that's what I mean by that.
• 1:26:25
  Totally. It's tricky relationships and understanding oneself is, it's a long-life journey.
• 1:26:35
  I believe that until I'm 90 if I leave there and have to this point that you always learn
• 1:26:42
  something about you, about your mind, your body, your soul, you know, and especially because we change
• 1:26:49
  as the body change, the emotions have the tendency to change with the people that are around us
• 1:26:57
  or have an environment and and it's always discovering yourself over and over again because
• 1:27:03
  there is always a different situation. So if you want someone to love you for the one that
• 1:27:11
  are looking for a relationship, it's important that you love yourself so you will understand
• 1:27:17
  how much you want the other person to love you and how, not how much but like how to what extent,
• 1:27:25
  you know. Can you say more about that? Yeah, because you will feel as soon as you feel what you want,
• 1:27:34
  like the love you feel the love, you will know, okay, the love that that person is giving me is
• 1:27:40
  the one that I'm looking for or is not. You know, and that's how, for example, if you have,
• 1:27:47
  if you were attracted before by Narcissist, let's say, and then until that you sit with yourself and
• 1:27:54
  you look at it and you're like, okay, what is the part, what is this part of me that is attracting
• 1:28:01
  to this person that is Narcissist that doesn't pay attention to me, okay, because I can feel that
• 1:28:08
  it comes back from my childhood when my brother was playing with all his friends and he didn't want
• 1:28:16
  me to play with him and I fell up and then and this and that and then until that you're, okay,
• 1:28:22
  you shift that and you reframe that, then you can start to love yourself and that's the process.
• 1:28:30
  You love yourself, okay, like, okay, I'm feeling better, I'm healing and I think that part of me,
• 1:28:36
  I love myself a bit more and then you will have someone that will reflect that love that you have
• 1:28:42
  for yourself to you. As I was saying, we attract the same frequency. So until if you didn't look at that,
• 1:28:51
  you will attract to another Narcissist in a different form, different body, but because it will be
• 1:28:57
  the same frequency, the same energy, if you didn't release that memory. So yeah, it's about
• 1:29:06
  really learning to love yourself, to discover yourself, to understand what makes you happy,
• 1:29:13
  what doesn't, if it doesn't, how can you transcend that? So you follow your path, it's like
• 1:29:21
  having a purpose, doing things that please you, but not just to have an outcome,
• 1:29:29
  money or do do do and put pressure on yourself, but also because it brings you energy, brings you
• 1:29:35
  happiness, it brings you maybe connection or whatever. And then from that place, you can go into the world.
• 1:29:42
  Yes. Oh, expansive, I have obsessed. I think that idea of the frequency and what we then are
• 1:29:54
  able to call in, it's so beautiful and so important. And something that came through with what
• 1:30:00
  you were saying about like self love, being the essence of then how we love others, grace is
• 1:30:06
  such an important way of loving. And if you have no grace for yourself, you will never show up
• 1:30:11
  with grace for someone else. Absolutely. And so often what has helped me so much is when I feel
• 1:30:16
  someone is being cruel or like why you could have done that in such a kind of way or I know that's
• 1:30:21
  just how they treat themselves. And that's that I'm just seeing a mirror of how they treat the part
• 1:30:26
  of themselves who makes mistakes or who doesn't show up in the way that they wish they would have.
• 1:30:31
  And so I feel as I've come into more love and understanding with myself, it's allowed me to be
• 1:30:36
  so much more gracious with people. And you're someone who shows up with a lot of grace, a lot of
• 1:30:41
  spaciousness. And so has that been part of your work in self love that it's mirrored back what's
• 1:30:47
  reflected back to you and how you show up for others. Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 1:30:52
  It's the same with a parent. If they feel good, they will parent the kids with so much love. If
• 1:31:00
  they feel exhausted, they will take much more energy to try to be there for the kids. Yes.
• 1:31:05
  Maybe they will give a tablet and try to, you know, to because they need to recharge or, you know,
• 1:31:11
  so it's the same. It's like really, you know, you can only give what you have. So at some point,
• 1:31:20
  you have to give to yourself in order to be able to give to others. Really, that's that's the
• 1:31:24
  old point. But to be also strong enough to be able to say no when you mean no. Yes.
• 1:31:34
  And not saying yes, that's also a very big part because self love, it doesn't
• 1:31:41
  in sacrifice also, you know. And especially women, we have this tendency to sacrifice, you know,
• 1:31:50
  for family or whatever. After we can come, we can feel depleted and resentful.
• 1:32:00
  After if we're not able to look at herself and be like, okay, right now I need a minute.
• 1:32:07
  Because if we don't have enough awareness, we can blame the person in front of us,
• 1:32:13
  the situation or yeah, persons or people or to make us feel a certain way.
• 1:32:22
  When actually nobody makes you feel whatever way, it's you that you always have the control.
• 1:32:29
  And I know it's, it can trigger a lot of people to hear that. But we do have the control to make
• 1:32:35
  a difference. The question is, are all the parts within me aligned with that? Are they
• 1:32:42
  some parts being like, no, you have to be polite? No, you have to say yes to helping your friend
• 1:32:49
  to move the furniture to him in the morning. I don't know, you know, this type of thing.
• 1:32:54
  So it's important to be like to learn how to say no is love, saying no is love, saying yes,
• 1:33:01
  with love. Yes. Yes. And I will finish on that. I will say, you know, to come back to the
• 1:33:10
  respect, the respectful things to do to others. For me, I 100% want the people that know me
• 1:33:21
  authentically to be surrounding me in a sense of, I don't like hypocrisy or don't like
• 1:33:28
  fakeness, I prefer to talk real. Okay, this, I didn't like this, I like so we can read just,
• 1:33:34
  you know, and the more authentic you are, which takes a lot of courage, it's very not, it's not easy
• 1:33:41
  and I know that. But I believe it's the only way to be in a healthy whatever situation at work
• 1:33:52
  and being honest with yourself about what you need, what you want, how you feel, so you can adjust
• 1:34:01
  in the most, in Omeas Tazikwe, you know, yeah. Yeah. And loving like that, holding that loving conflict,
• 1:34:13
  like, as you said, doing it with respect and honesty, I think that is honestly the root of so much
• 1:34:20
  of what the world, the crises that the world is in, it's like that two people can sit down or
• 1:34:27
  five people can sit down and have that type of conversation of transparency, honesty, we're
• 1:34:32
  honoring each other's dignity, but we're being truthful about how this made me feel or
• 1:34:37
  how what this activated within me because I'm also trying to unlearn this idea of making you feel
• 1:34:43
  but I think that is so important and also I feel each time I have a difficult conversation with
• 1:34:48
  a friend, the friendship like grows one year. So it's like I feel extremely close to my best friend
• 1:34:55
  because we just have so many conversations where if something gets triggered or we just go then
• 1:35:00
  and we do it in a way that's so loving and it's so beautiful and we are never condemning or
• 1:35:05
  putting each other down, we're always seeing each other's sacredness, but then now we're learning
• 1:35:09
  about each other's childhoods and you know wounds and all of these things because we're having
• 1:35:13
  these conversations that are triggered that just something got triggered and it's a beautiful,
• 1:35:18
  beautiful thing. And then if on the flip side, if you avoid that conversation going back to
• 1:35:22
  our earlier you know discussion like where we just avoid the discomfort, you're also avoiding
• 1:35:27
  the growth like you said that we grow through pain, we heal through pain and I've noticed just
• 1:35:33
  such a huge shift in the way that I'm relating to people because I'm just we're willing to go there
• 1:35:38
  and it's uncomfortable but wow where you get to on the other side, it's so robust.
• 1:35:44
  Yes, yeah. And it's like you you you release the energy is behind you. Exactly.
• 1:35:51
  Yeah, on to the next lesson. Exactly. Wow, Virginia, it's been so beautiful to chat to you and
• 1:35:56
  I'm wondering if anything is feeling like unheard. It's so funny. When I watch podcast hosts that
• 1:36:04
  always be so conscious of what they didn't respond to and it was my own again, it was how I treat
• 1:36:11
  myself when I'm imperfect, projected onto them and now I'm growing my compassion for how complex
• 1:36:18
  it is to truly when someone's giving you so much magic to try and really be present to all of it.
• 1:36:24
  So something that I deeply care about is that a person feels heard and so there are
• 1:36:29
  things you shared that you feel like, oh, I actually really wanted you to ask me this or
• 1:36:33
  I wanted to go deep into that or you know, I respect your sovereignty that you would have
• 1:36:38
  maybe just said it but also anything feeling unheard. So no, I want to say you're doing an amazing
• 1:36:44
  job for guiding and I think you're very present and that's that's a gift like I was saying.
• 1:36:51
  But no, what I would say and what came non-violent communication, that's what that's what came to me
• 1:36:58
  when you were talking and I'm just going to give one one tip to the people that we listen
• 1:37:05
  and this podcast is that when you want to communicate in a way that you don't know how to not be
• 1:37:16
  aggressive, how you communicate not violently, you first is called desk, no desk, yes,
• 1:37:27
  D-E-S-C desk, so D stands for description, so you describe the problem like yeah,
• 1:37:36
  you invited me here and you want me to put the garbage outside, you know, description.
• 1:37:47
  E is for emotion, so you say you start with I, your emotion, I feel that it's not really me
• 1:37:56
  that should put the garbage, I feel a bit used, I feel, you know, not you did because that's an
• 1:38:06
  accusation and that's where people react is you say I, I feel, your feelings are always valid.
• 1:38:14
  So after his S for solution, so what do you think if we if we do one day I put the garbage outside
• 1:38:25
  another day how does he sounds to you, so that is you will we find the solution, yeah,
• 1:38:33
  so like a contract, once we find the solution, the compromise is S for solution, yeah,
• 1:38:40
  it's like we shake hands and like okay let's do this, so both parties are heard and the tension
• 1:38:48
  is released, yes, so that is that's why came I hope that you will have some people to,
• 1:38:56
  you know, to feel like okay I can express what I need in a way that the other person will not
• 1:39:04
  feel attacked, if the person still feel attacked is also maybe because she has triggers and has
• 1:39:10
  some work to do, obviously, we all have, but you know that you will have done it in a
• 1:39:18
  soft way, at the same time you will have expressed what was inside your heart and that's very important.
• 1:39:25
  So yeah, beautiful, thank you for sharing that non-violent communication, what the world needs,
• 1:39:31
  I love the way that you, I didn't know the acronym, I've heard of non-violent communication,
• 1:39:35
  but it's lovely to hear the description, emotion, solution, conclusion, okay,
• 1:39:42
  ooh, let's shake hands at the end, lovely, I love that so much and it's so beautiful because what
• 1:39:46
  it offers us is also this, no one is right or wrong and I think that's the most challenging thing
• 1:39:52
  to embody in a conflict, it's not you have the truth and I don't or I have the truth and you don't
• 1:39:58
  like we are two people with two childhoods and traumas and understandings and cultures and we just
• 1:40:05
  like you're seeing red, I'm seeing blue and we're both right and what does it like to see blue,
• 1:40:10
  what does it like to see red and so what you're giving us of like I feel it just is like oh I'm so
• 1:40:16
  curious then to learn more about your feelings and not make them wrong or right they're just
• 1:40:21
  they're feelings like that's a disc and that's a cup they're there and they deserve to be witnessed
• 1:40:26
  so I love that I'm so grateful and I think that's going to offer people so much and where can
• 1:40:32
  people find you and work with you and experience your magic so they can find me on my website
• 1:40:41
  which is Virginie Audrey and on Instagram but I haven't posted for a long time but you can
• 1:40:51
  say yes that's my self love it's like detox I detox a lot for my phone and it makes me I haven't been
• 1:40:59
  as happy as as happy since I have decided to do this dopamine detox once in a while yes it's so
• 1:41:10
  powerful I highly I love that I think that's so so much of our spiritual connection is also being
• 1:41:17
  robbed from us by these devices our connection to peace our connection to boredom which is also
• 1:41:23
  very generative our connection to life as it is like we're always exerting control and reality through
• 1:41:28
  our phones I do it as well I'm I mean I have a lot of boundaries with my phone so I'm proud of
• 1:41:33
  I feel like we have a lot of similar phone boundaries but phone values but I'm just so grateful
• 1:41:38
  this was so lovely I'm so grateful we got to do this and I hope that we get to co-create something
• 1:41:46
  else in the universe I trust me that it's all unfolding and I'm wishing you the most beautiful
• 1:41:51
  and magical unfolding and we we all thank you for your wisdom today thank you thank you likewise thank
• 1:41:58
  you thank you thank you everyone for being with us on this journey it's been such a gift to
• 1:42:03
  travel with you to unfold in this conversation maybe all have graced towards the part of ourselves
• 1:42:09
  that don't feel like there enough may we sit with our inner child our inner eight-year-old and be
• 1:42:14
  present with what does what does he need what does she need what do they need and we just learned so
• 1:42:19
  many beautiful gems from this conversation and something else that's coming through for me is
• 1:42:24
  so often with wisdom and with consciousness we can have this ego of like oh I've already heard
• 1:42:31
  that already but the invitation I think from this whole conversation has been to drop into like
• 1:42:36
  the bodies knowing and there's so much that we can say we intellectually know but we're not
• 1:42:40
  embodying so the next time you feel triggered or you feel there's an emotion like Virginia said
• 1:42:46
  there's an energy there our invitation is that you embody this wisdom you don't tell yourself oh I
• 1:42:51
  know there's something there you say okay let me go tap into one of Virginia's meditations or let
• 1:42:57
  me journal let me sit with let me have this conversation and allow ourselves to like step into the
• 1:43:03
  message and step into the magic that we've just experienced from Virginia rather than any sort of
• 1:43:09
  the minds telling stories telling stories and I always say I wouldn't be hearing it if I didn't
• 1:43:17
  in some way need to movefully embody and integrate it so we've gotten such beautiful gems from
• 1:43:22
  you and I hope that everyone takes the time to like receive them in their being thank you everyone
• 1:43:27
  for watching or listening this is the Sol Salon podcast you can find us on YouTube Spotify and Apple
• 1:43:34
  podcasts you can also follow me at i understood and that's also where you can sign up for my newsletter
• 1:43:41
  where I have a free e-book on visibility and the fears we hold around being seen and witnessed
• 1:43:47
  especially when we have been conditioned to believe we're not good enough so if you would like
• 1:43:52
  to receive that beautiful e-book it is at i understood dot com we will link to all versionies websites
• 1:43:58
  below or her website all the show notes will include information to the Sol Salon keep tapping
• 1:44:04
  into the frequency I hope that it continues to serve and support you and I'm wishing you a
• 1:44:08
  beautiful rest of your day and experience thank you I love you bye my darling my love my soul
• 1:44:15
  sibling thank you for stepping into the Sol Salon if you are still hearing or watching this
• 1:44:20
  we are soul siblings we are resonating on the same frequency and so something you may struggle with
• 1:44:26
  that I struggle with is the fear of being seen you know that visibility is involved in you living
• 1:44:32
  your creative purpose and being in your power serving the collective through your gifts through
• 1:44:38
  your magic through your medicine in order to do that you know you need to be more seen than you
• 1:44:43
  are allowing yourself to be right now I have a gift just for you heart made for us on this frequency
• 1:44:51
  and it is a free e-book called the soulful visibility guide that is soulful visibility like we don't
• 1:44:58
  just want to be seen we want to be felt we want to be heard we want to move and be moved so I do have
• 1:45:04
  a free gift for you and all you need to do is go to my website i understood dot com and there you will
• 1:45:10
  be able to input your email address and receive this directly to your inbox this is such a juicy
• 1:45:16
  and delicious guide and I change the free offering every few months so you know get it while you can
• 1:45:23
  all the links are in the show notes so thank you so much I love you and I will see you on the next
• 1:45:28
  sole session okay I love you bye