Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP60] Why rushing equals love.. and what you're afraid of if you slow down

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[EP60] Why rushing equals love.. and what you're afraid of if you slow down · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  It's like, why do I rush? What's the fear? Why do I slow down?
• 0:07
  It's a certain kind of habitual thing, right? Like talk about conditions.
• 0:11
  You know, Viviana used the word conditions or conditioning in her question.
• 0:16
  You know, what we do often or consistently, it's a good way to shape a habit.
• 0:24
  So, you know, what we do consistently becomes a habit.
• 0:26
  and what we habitually, what we habituate into,
• 0:32
  like it just becomes a habit.
• 0:34
  After a while, it just feels like,
• 0:35
  well, yeah, that's just who I am or how I am, right?
• 0:38
  Because it's just so normal, right?
• 0:40
  The habit becomes conditioned
• 0:42
  and so conditioned that we believe that's just who I am
• 0:44
  and that's how it is.
• 0:46
  So it happens with things that we consciously practice
• 0:49
  and it happens with things
• 0:51
  that we unconsciously practice consistently.
• 0:55
  And a lot of times with the patterns that we don't want, we are consistent.
• 1:01
  It's just a pattern that we don't want.
• 1:03
  So the same framework that we use to have the habits that we don't want, consistency,
• 1:09
  if we apply it to the things that we do want, it works as well.
• 1:13
  It becomes a habit.
• 1:15
  Rushing around at some point probably was habituated, became conditioned.
• 1:24
  That's just who I am. That's just how I am.
• 1:26
  It becomes part of our identity.
• 1:30
  Like I know Viviana once was saying,
• 1:33
  I'm an action-taking motherfucker, which I like, by the way.
• 1:37
  I'm trying to adopt.
• 1:39
  But if I believe I need to be rushing to be productive
• 1:46
  or to be effective or to be useful,
• 1:52
  you know in other words liked or loved right like so rushing equals productive productive equals
• 2:00
  liked and accepted and accepted feels like i'm loved for example i'm just giving an example of
• 2:07
  how the machine kind of you know is wired or wires itself up therefore rushing if you take
• 2:15
  off all the middle bits and join a straight line to it it's like rushing equals feeling loved
• 2:21
  When I'm rushing, I was successful.
• 2:23
  And when I was successful, I got the love that I wanted.
• 2:26
  I got the acknowledgement.
• 2:28
  I got the approval.
• 2:30
  Right?
• 2:31
  So rushing had to be done because I needed to do more than other people.
• 2:38
  I needed to be top of the class or school or the grades or the medal or the whatever the thing is.
• 2:44
  And when I got that, then I got the approval.
• 2:48
  When I got the approval, it felt like love.
• 2:52
  for example right i'm just giving a random example so therefore rushing equals feeling loved
• 3:00
  right it's this unconscious wiring that happens in our minds like like the engine right one bit
• 3:05
  joins here this bit joins there that bit joins there that bit joins there so therefore that's
• 3:08
  how you know the engine runs the machine runs i would suggest um
• 3:16
  Or worse still, like, if rushing is who I am, rushing equals productive.
• 3:23
  Productive is who I am.
• 3:24
  So if I'm not rushing, then I'm not me.
• 3:28
  For example, just to give another example.
• 3:30
  If I'm not rushing, that's not me.
• 3:33
  Something is wrong.
• 3:35
  Right?
• 3:36
  Like, it's just so practiced that it's programmed, that it's conditioned.
• 3:41
  This is like, that's who I am.
• 3:43
  That's how I am.
• 3:45
  So if I'm not rushing, that's not me, for example.
• 3:49
  So I wouldn't want to be not me wherever I can.
• 3:54
  So I would be rushing, right?
• 3:57
  So there's a fear of like whatever the wiring is,
• 4:00
  and I don't know what it is for you without having a conversation,
• 4:04
  like a two-way conversation.
• 4:06
  The mechanics of it, the actual engine and how it's wired,
• 4:10
  it doesn't matter, but the mechanics of it is like rushing equals something.
• 4:12
  probably something to do with your own identity.
• 4:17
  So therefore, if you're not rushing,
• 4:20
  it's a threat to your identity and who you believe you are,
• 4:25
  which underneath that most likely is wired to love in some way.
• 4:31
  Because we're all wired for love, right?
• 4:33
  So in some way or another eventually.
• 4:36
  So that's why when you stop rushing around
• 4:39
  and you are experimenting with a new way of showing up.
• 4:44
  Like, okay, if I didn't rush,
• 4:45
  could I be as productive or more productive?
• 4:48
  Is that possible?
• 4:50
  I haven't had that experience before.
• 4:52
  The other part of that is that it's not known, right?
• 4:56
  Like it's a new thing, for example.
• 4:59
  You're used to rushing all your life.
• 5:01
  Suddenly you stop rushing.
• 5:02
  That's new.
• 5:03
  That's unknown.
• 5:05
  Stepping into the unknown, right?
• 5:09
  quote but it's scary we're all scared of it no one really at the end of the day wants to step
• 5:15
  into the unknown because you know you want some part of the known to show up in the unknown
• 5:22
  and the moment there is any part of the unknown that is known well that is already the known
• 5:28
  you know we want it to be predictable we want a predictable unknown
• 5:32
  as in like an unknown that we can control um and you can't control the unknown that's why it's the
• 5:39
  And that's actually where our learning and our growth is.
• 5:42
  So maybe as you've slowed down and you find yourself, one, more rested,
• 5:47
  and two, therefore, perhaps because of that or just because you've slowed down,
• 5:53
  you've allowed, you know, you found that you can be more productive, let's say.
• 5:56
  So it's like, huh, this is a new experience.
• 6:00
  I like it.
• 6:01
  But why is it scary?
• 6:03
  Why am I nervous about this?
• 6:06
  It's because it's new.
• 6:09
  part of us that's like vigilant in the background kind of going hmm are you sure you want to slow
• 6:14
  down because you know rushing worked for you this slowing down thing is new scary it looks like it's
• 6:24
  working but what if it stops working so we're going actually yeah maybe maybe i should stop
• 6:32
  slowing down even though it feels productive even though i'm more rested and i get to be more
• 6:39
  active when I'm rested yeah actually so there's some some kind of like the pieces are settling
• 6:46
  again in a new configuration within like you know like the um I don't know back in the day did you
• 6:53
  ever play Tetris 2d game old school you know there's the shapes you've like you know so the
• 7:00
  pieces are like settling in a new configuration or jigsaw pieces if that you've never played
• 7:06
  Tetris.
• 7:07
  You should check it out.
• 7:08
  It's an old school game.
• 7:11
  I used to have it on my little, I think it was Game Boy and then Atari.
• 7:15
  Yeah, anyway, I'm digressing.
• 7:18
  The pieces are settling in a new configuration within.
• 7:22
  So when the pieces are resettling, it's unsettling.
• 7:26
  It's scary.
• 7:28
  It's new.
• 7:31
  And that's part of growth.
• 7:33
  When we're expanding, it's an expansion.
• 7:36
  part of expansion you know like when a child is growing they could they say growing pains
• 7:43
  your bones are growing your muscle you know like your body's growing when you have a growth spurt
• 7:49
  it's not comfortable it's not growing comfort growing pains like it's normally uncomfortable
• 7:57
  it's a settling a resettling which comes after an unsettling you know like you just
• 8:06
  What's the other thing?
• 8:06
  With Christmas, you have the globe, you shake it,
• 8:08
  and then it starts to fall again in a new configuration,
• 8:11
  the snow globe.
• 8:13
  Kind of like that.
• 8:14
  Just like everything's stirred up for a little while.
• 8:16
  You're like, oh my God, this is scary.
• 8:18
  What's going to happen?
• 8:19
  Other pieces are going to land in the right place for me.
• 8:23
  I need control.
• 8:26
  Yeah.
• 8:27
  So that's normally what is in play, I would say.
• 8:30
  So what to do about it, even though you didn't ask?
• 8:33
  if I was to guess the question
• 8:34
  would be to let the pieces settle.
• 8:38
  To let the discomfort
• 8:40
  you know give it
• 8:41
  give it some spine
• 8:42
  time and space became spine
• 8:45
  give it some spine everyone
• 8:48
  space and time
• 8:50
  must be the sunshine to do
• 8:53
  give it some space and time
• 8:54
  for the pieces to settle.