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STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF - Jordan Peterson Motivational Speech · Motivation study

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You only have to ask a stupid question once. You
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: ask a stupid question.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And if you're in a crowd and you ask a
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: stupid question, 80% of the people in the crowd have
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: the same question. They're just too cowardly to ask. But
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: you ask and then someone actually tells you. You never
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: have to ask that question again. You're no longer stupid.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: What stupid thing am I doing that I could quit doing?
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: That I would quit doing? Because those aren't the same thing, right?
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Because you know there's stupid things that you're doing that
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  Speaker 2: you're just not going to quit doing because you like them.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: But there might be something on the edge there where
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  Speaker 2: you could stop that. If you want to know something
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: about yourself, sit on your bed one night and say
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: to yourself, you've got to mean this.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Like, you've got to be desperate. This is no game, this.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: My life is not everything I want it to be.
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  Speaker 2: And perhaps it's not everything that I need it to be.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: And by need, I mean my life is so unbearable
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: that the suffering that's attendant upon that has made.
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  Speaker 1: Me nihilistic, cynical, bitter.
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  Speaker 2: Resentful, driving the proclivity to see evil everywhere except within
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: my own heart.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Like these are problems, man.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: And you ask yourself, you sit on the bed and say, okay, man,
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  Speaker 2: I'm ready to learn something. What's one thing I'm doing
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  Speaker 2: wrong that I know I'm doing wrong that I could
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  Speaker 2: fix that I would fix. It's like you meditate on that.
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  Speaker 2: You'll get an answer. And it won't be one you want,
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  Speaker 2: but it'll be the necessary one. You know, and it's
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: often something that will point you to small things.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Like that works.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: You start making those micro improvements, like real micro improvements,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: real on the ground, actual micro improvements to things you
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: know that are wrong.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: You'll improve unbelievably rapidly.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: The great people I know are brutally truthful to themselves
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: and other people. And they have insanely adventurous lives. Get
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: rid of everything you say that you only say to
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  Speaker 2: impress other people. And just see if you can say
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: what you believe to be true.
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  Speaker 1: That's an adventure. That's the thing about the truth.
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  Speaker 2: You know. Well, you've got to ask yourself, if you're
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: not speaking the truth, who is it that's talking? If
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: you're saying something that you do not believe to be true,
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  Speaker 2: it's not you talking.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: It's something else.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: It might be the part of you that wants to
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: manipulate the other person into delivering what you think you
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: want from them. Well, what is that spirit of manipulation
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  Speaker 2: that you've allowed to possess you?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It's not you.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Let's say you decide to live your whole life in
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: that instrumental manner. You're going to craft your words like
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: the student who says, well, I'm going to write what
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: the professor wants to hear so I get the grade.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, you just turn yourself into that. Well,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: who is it that's doing that manipulating?
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  Speaker 2: It's not you because those aren't your words. So even
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: if you get the grade, it's not you that got
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  Speaker 2: the grade.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: It's the false you. It's the manipulative you.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: So you do that your whole life. You don't have
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: your life. And then you think, well, God, that was
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: a miserable life. I manipulated everybody. They were so damn stupid.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: They were sucked in by it. They're all contemptible. Everyone
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: does it, you know, which they don't, by the way.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: And so that's a pathway to bitterness. Partly because if
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: you're a manipulator and you use your language falsely, you
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: don't live your own life.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: You live the life of whatever possesses you when you
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: think it's you manipulating. And so you live the life
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: of the spirit of manipulations.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: What is the consequence, the long-term consequence of acting? So
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  Speaker 3: many people, especially because of the world I live in,
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  Speaker 3: in Instagram and social media, we kind of build out
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  Speaker 3: these personas and then we almost follow the implicit instructions
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  Speaker 3: that come with those personas.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Well, that's the problem right there is that I think
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Pinocchio is brilliant work of art. If you're a puppet
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  Speaker 2: and an actor, and Pinocchio is both at times in
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  Speaker 2: that movie, both a puppet and an actor, So why
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  Speaker 2: an actor? Why is there something wrong with being an actor? Well,
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: the first question is, well, who sets your role? And
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: then the second question is, who's pulling your strings? So
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  Speaker 2: you've put on this front that is there to make
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  Speaker 2: you popular and sexy and desirable and to mask from
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  Speaker 2: yourself your own inadequacies.
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  Speaker 1: But that's a role. Well, who wrote it? And for
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  Speaker 1: what purpose?
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  Speaker 2: And, you know, maybe you're acting out a tragedy. Maybe
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  Speaker 2: you're acting out narcissists. You don't know because you've put
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  Speaker 2: that on yourself in an attempt in some ways to
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  Speaker 2: deliver to people what they want or more accurately to
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  Speaker 2: look as though you're delivering to people what they want.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: And it's not nothing to do that, right?
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  Speaker 2: Because at least you're attempting in some sense to adapt
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  Speaker 2: to the social world. Someone who's really infantile and dependent,
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  Speaker 2: someone who's never left home, part of their problem is
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  Speaker 2: that they haven't crafted a persona So you don't want
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  Speaker 2: to denigrate it entirely, but it's no substitute for the
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  Speaker 2: real thing. And it turns out that not only is
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  Speaker 2: what we want from each other the real thing, but
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: that's also the adventure of your life. And so if
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  Speaker 2: you aren't truthful, and that means, unfortunately, especially at the beginning,
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  Speaker 2: when you start to be truthful, it means deeply coming
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  Speaker 2: to terms with your inadequacies in humility.
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  Speaker 1: So it's very painful. Without that, you don't have the
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  Speaker 1: adventure of your life.
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  Speaker 2: You have the role that has been, that you've acquiesced to.
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  Speaker 1: And that'll take all the meaning out of your life.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Imagine that the world was constituted so that the true
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  Speaker 2: adventure of your life emerged as a consequence of truth
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  Speaker 2: in speech and action. Because that would be reflective of
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: the real you, so it would be you living. And
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: then imagine that the adventure that would occur if you
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: dwelled in the truth would be so overwhelming that it
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  Speaker 2: would justify all the suffering.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I've really contended with this idea of struggle and chaos
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  Speaker 3: in my life and the role it plays. And once
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: upon a time, I thought I was trying to rid
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  Speaker 3: my life of chaos and struggle. I thought that's why
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: I was trying to get rich and get the Ferrari
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  Speaker 3: and the blonde. I thought that would create a life
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  Speaker 3: free of struggle. But then I looked at some studies
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: and I heard about this thing called gold medal depression.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: When Olympians come back from the Olympics and they've lost orientation,
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  Speaker 3: And I tried to understand the role that struggle would
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  Speaker 3: have to play for me to be a fulfilled human
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  Speaker 3: being for the rest of my life.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: We're built to walk uphill.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: And when you reach the pinnacle of the hill, you
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: want to stop and appreciate the vision. But the next
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: thing you want is a higher hill in the distance
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: because it's from the uphill climb that we derive our value.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: And I mean this technically.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: So almost all the positive emotion we feel, especially the
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: emotion that fills us with enthusiasm, that's experienced in relationship
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  Speaker 2: to a goal. And so in some sense, you want
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  Speaker 2: a goal that you can never attain. Right? So you
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: can always move closer to the goal that recedes as
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  Speaker 2: you move towards it.
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  Speaker 1: You think, well, that's frustrating. It's like Sisyphus pushing the
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  Speaker 1: rock uphill.
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  Speaker 2: But it's not because as you pursue that goal, you
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  Speaker 2: put yourself together and your life does get better and
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  Speaker 2: richer and more abundant. That's why the highest levels of
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  Speaker 2: virtue and goal are in some sense transcendent. You want
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  Speaker 2: them to be above everything you're doing so you can
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  Speaker 2: continually move towards something that's more sublime and better.
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  Speaker 1: That's what you are. You're here to live, not to sleep.