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You Don’t Need to Be Ready Yet: The Power of the Pause for High-Achieving Women · The Arise with Anita Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Rise with Anita podcast, the space where soulmate strategy and dreams are no longer optional.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Anita Kabine, a transformational mindset coach, and the founder of the combat.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This note is for the woman who knows too much for more.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: We activate the woman by the view to lead to create, who claims her next level.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear a mix of school episodes for me and interviews with school-driven leaders, the best in their field, who live what they teach and rise by example.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Each conversation is a callus for your next breakthrough.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're not broken, you're breaking through.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go ahead and rise together.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the Rise of Anita podcast, or welcome if you're new here.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I am trusting that if this is the first time you are finding me, you are in the right place.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Before we dive in, I'm going to ask you to slow this moment down.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Place one hand on your chest, the other on your belly.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Allow your body to arise before your mind tries to catch up to this moment.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to urge you and invite you to go ahead and slowly take a deep breath in.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: So today's episode is going to be for the woman who feels that something has shifted in her life.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: But she doesn't quite feel ready to move yet.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: She's not ready to decide.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: She's not ready to act.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: She's not ready to explain what's happening to her.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it's just to herself.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're wondering, why am I here?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: What's wrong with me?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want to go ahead and say this clearly.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: There is nothing wrong with you.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't need to be ready yet to move.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: So you see, we live in a culture that treats readiness like it's a requirement.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Be ready to respond.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Be ready to pivot at any given moment.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Be ready to get back to where you were.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: But your nervous system doesn't move on from timelines.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: It moves on safety.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: It moves when it starts to feel safe to do so.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're someone who's recently experienced a shutdown or some anxiety, whether that's emotional, physical, or relational, your body isn't seeking motivation or discipline immediately.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's seeking safety.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's asking for reassurance.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's asking that it can trust you.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Most women don't rush because they're lazy or broken.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: They rush because that's what they are trained to do.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Go from the next goal to the next.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Move power through, get it done.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: They rush because the stillness actually feels unsafe in a world that rewards momentum and rewards always being in consistent action.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're in this in-between space right now, you're not collapsed, you're not quite activated, you're not stuck, you're just reorienting yourself right now.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: So in my her method, I always start by honoring what's present without trying to fix it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's the awareness that we move from first.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: So right now that might look like for you low energy, being in a little bit of a fog, resistance, or a quiet, I don't even know what I want yet.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of asking yourself, what should I do?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Try asking your body, what feels safe right now?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: What feels tolerable right now?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Not productive.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to go for the impressive big next step forward.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Just tolerable.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: That question begins rebuilding your trust and rebuilding your system.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to take a few moments to bring you back into your body and get the body back into the room with you.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're able to do this while you're sitting down or standing, just take a moment to slow down right now.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: There is now where else you need to be.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Just be present.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're listening to this while you're doing some work or while you're running an errand, I would highly stress to come back to this.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: But like I said, you can do the seated or standing.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to ask you to inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Pause gently at the top for two and exhale through your mouth for a count of six.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: And let your exhale be longer than your inhale.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: And you want to do this three times together with me.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So that would be another inhale slowly through your nose for four.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Pause gently for two.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Exhale through your mouth for a count of six.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: One more time.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Pause gently at the top for two.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Exhale through your mouth for a count of six.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And as you breathe, just notice how is the weight of your body?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Where is it being supported right now?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel the temperature of your air?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's in the room beside you're in.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Is there any place that feels settled when you're breathing in your body?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Pay attention to the thoughts that are arising.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And just know whether you consider them good thoughts or bad thoughts.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: They're all okay.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Just observe them.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're not trying to clear your mind in this moment.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: You're just letting your body know it's safe to be present and safe to be with it.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: One more breath, slowly in through your nose, and gently out through your mouth.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to take a moment and remind you.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you're listening to me, there's a high chance you're a high-achieving woman.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: But we rarely hear that the pause isn't weakness.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's where your system reorganizes.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Embodiment in this season can look like short walks instead of pushing a workout.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yoga, where you might be like me, in two years, heavy weightlifting cardio classes.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: It can look like fewer words instead of explaining yourself.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Allowing your disappointment to exist without trying to fix it in your relationships.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need clarity just yet.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: You need contact with your breath, your body, your truth with a capital T.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: And ask yourself, what am I overriding right now to appear okay?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because so many times we start to disconnect ourselves and we try to put ourselves in this, I can do everything, or I can be everything to everyone.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then what I've come to realize is you're just consciously overriding yourself so that you appear like you have it all together.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there's something to be said about allowing yourself to have the grace to slow down.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can gently remind yourself, stop overriding everything.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let me be in this moment.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Let me be present and aware of what is coming up for me.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Rather than I need to constantly fix, I need to improve, I need to change.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just be aware of what's coming up.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because conscious awareness is the key next to the next moment.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: It is the key to forward momentum.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: So that would have been the E embodying the pause.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And R for rise is rising without rushing in this instance.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't always start with an action, it starts with your permission.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Permission to not will, permission to give yourself grace, permission to move slowly, permission to disappoint other people's timelines, including your own at times.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: Readiness isn't going to arrive as pressure.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: It arrives at your capacity.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: A little more breath, a little more curiosity, a little less bracing for yourself.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And if today isn't that day, that's not paleo, it's intelligence.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: So if you take anything away from this episode, let it be this.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: You're not behind.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're starting to listen to yourself.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to your body.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And listen to how you arise without abandoning yourself.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the thing.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: When we don't take our bodies on the journey, we end up burning out.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: You can only push so much before you hit a shutdown, before you get sick, before you face anxiety.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: So listening to yourself is how you rise without abandoning yourself.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Stay here in this moment as long as you need to.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be ready yet.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to be open.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll see you in the next episode.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if this resonated, please share it with a woman who could use the message and the reminder to just take a gentle pause.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: And until the next one.