Latest / Glovisor Podcast / Stop Chasing Success and Start Enjoying Your Life - Chris Abazis [Ep 94]

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Stop Chasing Success and Start Enjoying Your Life - Chris Abazis [Ep 94] · Glovisor Podcast

0:00
Speaker 1: The difference between spontaneity and impulsiveness is intention, and impulsiveness
0:04
Speaker 1: is reacting without considering the consequences, right? Spontaneity is being
0:09
Speaker 1: open to opportunities without needing to control every detail.
0:15
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Globalizer podcast, where we explore business growth, communication,
0:19
Speaker 2: and personal development through real conversations with people who make
0:22
Speaker 2: an impact. Our guest helps people break out of their
0:25
Speaker 2: comfort zones, think differently, and take action towards a fulfilling
0:31
Speaker 2: life and business. He's a keynote speaker, business coach, author
0:36
Speaker 2: of Spontaneous ASF, and TEDx organizer. Glowvisor welcomes Chris Abasis.
0:44
Speaker 1: Hey, Joe. Thanks for having me, man.
0:45
Speaker 2: Hey, you're welcome. Looking forward to the conversation.
0:48
Speaker 1: Oh, me too.
0:49
Speaker 2: All right, Chris, share with us, what is it that
0:52
Speaker 2: you do and who do you help?
0:53
Speaker 1: Oh, man, that's such a loaded question. But I mean,
0:56
Speaker 1: at my core, I'm a coach and that happened by accident.
0:58
Speaker 1: just because I love helping people see things differently, challenge
1:02
Speaker 1: their own assumptions, and realize they're capable of more than
1:04
Speaker 1: they think. And that just lights me up, and that's
1:08
Speaker 1: how I ended up in this position. So, I mean,
1:10
Speaker 1: I work mostly with entrepreneurs and business owners, leaders, helping
1:14
Speaker 1: them grow their businesses, improve how they lead, ultimately create
1:17
Speaker 1: more freedom in their lives, which I know you and
1:19
Speaker 1: I kind of share that. But the interesting thing is
1:22
Speaker 1: that over the years, I've realized that a lot of people,
1:25
Speaker 1: they're really good at chasing success, but not nearly as
1:30
Speaker 1: good at enjoying it. You know, we got the entrepreneurs
1:32
Speaker 1: are always looking for next, next, next, and then they
1:34
Speaker 1: get wrapped up in that. And that's kind of what
1:37
Speaker 1: became a big part of my mission is just to
1:39
Speaker 1: like help people enjoy their lives and focus on that
1:42
Speaker 1: and get out of the success trap. Because sometimes that
1:45
Speaker 1: success that we chase could end up being a prison
1:48
Speaker 1: for us. And so that's kind of the shift that
1:50
Speaker 1: I've been making more recently is looking at that. We've
1:53
Speaker 1: built this great, wonderful, efficient business But now are you
1:57
Speaker 1: stuck in that world of success that doesn't allow you
2:01
Speaker 1: to really enjoy and have fun and collect experiences and
2:05
Speaker 1: build relationships and enjoy that ride?
2:07
Speaker 2: Now, when and why did your mission begin?
2:10
Speaker 1: In general, when I got into business and I started
2:14
Speaker 1: learning about all these things, I started to see that
2:16
Speaker 1: there was a lot of people. that when they start
2:19
Speaker 1: their businesses, they're all vision. It's super exciting. And they're like,
2:22
Speaker 1: they can't wait to do it. And then all of
2:24
Speaker 1: a sudden they get into it and they start succeeding.
2:26
Speaker 1: And now all of a sudden they've created like a
2:28
Speaker 1: job for themselves. And they, you know, I find business
2:30
Speaker 1: owners and entrepreneurs all of a sudden, they're doing things
2:33
Speaker 1: that they don't love anymore. You know, I always say,
2:36
Speaker 1: if you don't have an assistant, you are one, you know,
2:39
Speaker 1: kind of, and it's just, I became passionate about, you know,
2:43
Speaker 1: I started learning about leverage principles and hiring the right
2:45
Speaker 1: people and developing people. And then I saw like, wow,
2:48
Speaker 1: There's such a great opportunity as a business owner or
2:50
Speaker 1: entrepreneur to not only build something that you love for yourself,
2:54
Speaker 1: but create opportunities for other people that they can love
2:56
Speaker 1: and grow into. So I became super passionate about that
3:00
Speaker 1: and then started wanting to work with people that lost
3:04
Speaker 1: the joy in what they're doing. So what's the point
3:06
Speaker 1: of having a great business if you can't really have
3:09
Speaker 1: a great life and start starting to do that? Then
3:12
Speaker 1: I started to see... in helping people grow their businesses
3:15
Speaker 1: through efficiency and, you know, being super, super scheduled and focused.
3:23
Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden that kind of develops these
3:26
Speaker 1: routines and then routine sucks all the fun and magic
3:29
Speaker 1: out of what you're doing, whether it's business or life.
3:32
Speaker 1: And that's like, wait a second. Maybe the, maybe the
3:35
Speaker 1: point is, is to start to be on purpose about
3:40
Speaker 1: not having too many things structured. And I know it's
3:43
Speaker 1: kind of, counterintuitive. When I say things like schedule, you're spontaneity, right?
3:47
Speaker 1: So if we're time blocking to build our businesses, why
3:50
Speaker 1: can't we time block where nothing can happen? We could
3:53
Speaker 1: let the magic of a creative session or what's going
3:57
Speaker 1: to take shape in our lives, you know?
4:00
Speaker 2: Along the way, when did you have that aha moment?
4:03
Speaker 2: I must pursue this and I must share this with
4:05
Speaker 2: the world.
4:06
Speaker 1: When I was running real estate companies, because that was
4:09
Speaker 1: my background, that's really where I learned to have um,
4:13
Speaker 1: to build businesses and get leverage and, uh, see that
4:16
Speaker 1: what other people needed to, to, there was so many
4:20
Speaker 1: other small business owners that didn't have this training that
4:23
Speaker 1: didn't have this know how to do these things. And
4:24
Speaker 1: I don't know if there was a specific moment, but
4:27
Speaker 1: I think it was, uh, I think it was more
4:29
Speaker 1: of like a realization that developed over time. Cause I,
4:31
Speaker 1: I spent years helping people build these businesses and started
4:34
Speaker 1: noticing that, uh, people would hit their goals. make more money,
4:38
Speaker 1: achieve what they thought they wanted, and then immediately move
4:41
Speaker 1: the finish line. So, right. People that are, you know,
4:43
Speaker 1: Jim Rohn says people that are content are rarely ambitious
4:46
Speaker 1: and people that are ambitious are really content. So then
4:48
Speaker 1: you work with all these drivers, all these ambitious people,
4:51
Speaker 1: they set goals, they hit it and they're like, what's next? Okay, great.
4:55
Speaker 1: We hit that goal. Okay. What's the next one? What's next?
4:58
Speaker 1: What's next? What's next? So I started looking at my
5:01
Speaker 1: own life too. And I had a successful career and
5:03
Speaker 1: I was leading a large organization. I loved what I did.
5:05
Speaker 1: And I started to ask myself, what am I actually
5:07
Speaker 1: working toward? Because success is great. I'm a big fan
5:11
Speaker 1: of it. But if we're constantly postponing happiness until the
5:14
Speaker 1: next milestone, when do we get to enjoy that success?
5:18
Speaker 1: And that's when my thinking started to shift. And I
5:22
Speaker 1: didn't want to stop pursuing success. I just wanted to
5:25
Speaker 1: redefine it. And that's okay. I had a coach at
5:29
Speaker 1: the time. I was running this company, and people started
5:33
Speaker 1: to ask me to come speak, and I had to
5:35
Speaker 1: turn them down. And I remember my coach at the time,
5:38
Speaker 1: he said, Chris, what are you saying yes to that's
5:42
Speaker 1: making you say no to shit you really want to do?
5:44
Speaker 1: And I realized, man, it was running this organization. And
5:48
Speaker 1: here I was in a successful organization. At one time,
5:50
Speaker 1: that's what I wanted to do. And I realized that
5:52
Speaker 1: success wasn't supposed to be the destination. It was supposed
5:55
Speaker 1: to give us more opportunities to enjoy the journey.
5:57
Speaker 2: That's what we have to enjoy along the way. Now,
6:00
Speaker 2: before we continue, because I have so many other questions
6:02
Speaker 2: for you, I want to talk about the book, Spontaneous
6:06
Speaker 2: as F, The Art of Saying Yes and Living Life Unscripted.
6:11
Speaker 2: So I've been going through it. Great book, by the way. But,
6:17
Speaker 2: you know, what's interesting to me is some people sit
6:19
Speaker 2: down over a weekend and write a book, but not you.
6:22
Speaker 2: Your book took over 10 years to put together. Tell
6:24
Speaker 2: us a little bit more about that.
6:25
Speaker 1: It didn't take me 10 years to write. So what
6:28
Speaker 1: I always would do, like when I had my office
6:30
Speaker 1: and stuff, I used to keep these Google Drive folders
6:33
Speaker 1: and little ideas and notes on my phone. And I
6:35
Speaker 1: would get an idea that I wanted to talk about
6:37
Speaker 1: at my team meeting or the sales meeting and stuff.
6:40
Speaker 1: So when I started thinking about this spontaneous concept, which
6:44
Speaker 1: happened as a joke, by the way, in my coaching nature,
6:48
Speaker 1: and I talk about that in the preface of the book,
6:52
Speaker 1: My sister and her husband, they were going on a
6:55
Speaker 1: little vacation down to St. Pete over by you when
6:58
Speaker 1: we lived in New York. And it was the first
7:00
Speaker 1: time they were going to be away from the kids
7:01
Speaker 1: and away from their new business. And in my coach nature,
7:05
Speaker 1: I just fired off a text. I said, hey, enjoy yourselves.
7:07
Speaker 1: Act like kids again. Be spontaneous. And I just... In
7:10
Speaker 1: my head, I could visually see my sister's virtual eye
7:13
Speaker 1: roll like, oh, my God, here goes Chris again. Right.
7:16
Speaker 1: Be spontaneous. So then they went down to St. Pete
7:20
Speaker 1: and they thought it'd be funny because, I mean, they're
7:21
Speaker 1: hilarious people. they were, they'd like went on the bus
7:25
Speaker 1: that they didn't know where it was going. And, uh,
7:27
Speaker 1: they had solo cups and they made a video. They're like,
7:29
Speaker 1: we got some solo cups. We just got on a bus.
7:31
Speaker 1: Where's it going? We don't know. We're being spontaneous as
7:35
Speaker 1: you know. And I just thought it was hilarious. And
7:37
Speaker 1: they kept sending me these random videos. And then I
7:41
Speaker 1: started showing them the people I worked with and my
7:43
Speaker 1: friends and family and everyone thought they were hilarious. But,
7:46
Speaker 1: and then everyone started sending me videos of them doing silly,
7:49
Speaker 1: spontaneous things. Like, taken off in the middle of the day.
7:52
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful day here. I'm going to go to
7:53
Speaker 1: the beach. I'm going to go in the exit instead
7:55
Speaker 1: of the entrance and see what happens, you know? But
7:57
Speaker 1: what I noticed in those videos is how alive everybody
8:00
Speaker 1: was and how present I started thinking about this idea
8:02
Speaker 1: of spontaneity and how all the moments I started looking
8:06
Speaker 1: in the past and every time, all the moments, the
8:08
Speaker 1: stories that are worth talking about are things that you
8:11
Speaker 1: didn't plan that were Kind of spontaneous, a yes you
8:13
Speaker 1: had in the moment, a conversation you had. You go
8:17
Speaker 1: on vacation, you plan this itinerary, but the things you
8:20
Speaker 1: probably talk about are the things you said yes to
8:22
Speaker 1: or the people you met along the way. So I
8:24
Speaker 1: was like, there's something to this. So I started a
8:26
Speaker 1: little Google Drive folder for that stuff. And I started
8:29
Speaker 1: collecting information and doing research and stories and data. And
8:34
Speaker 1: through all the years, I just kind of kept adding
8:36
Speaker 1: to that. And then two years ago, a friend of
8:39
Speaker 1: mine named Antoinette Perez, she's another speaker. It was in
8:42
Speaker 1: November and I had just come off a busy season
8:44
Speaker 1: of speaking and I was kind of November and December.
8:47
Speaker 1: I kind of had nothing on the calendar. And she's like, hey,
8:49
Speaker 1: I'm doing a 30 day book writing challenge. And. Because
8:53
Speaker 1: a lot of us speakers, we haven't written books yet.
8:56
Speaker 1: And I said, I'm in. I'm actually kind of home
8:58
Speaker 1: for the holidays. And I'm in for that. And I
9:01
Speaker 1: got a great idea on a book on leadership, language, leadership,
9:04
Speaker 1: and leverage. That's why my three L's. That's how my
9:06
Speaker 1: coaching framework is. And I was staring. I just wasn't
9:10
Speaker 1: so inspired. I was looking at the Google Drive I
9:11
Speaker 1: had for that book. And I just didn't catch fire.
9:15
Speaker 1: And I said, let me take a peek into the
9:16
Speaker 1: spontaneous AF folder. And I went to there. And within
9:21
Speaker 1: 30 days, I cranked out the first version of what
9:24
Speaker 1: would become this book. And I just went with it.
9:28
Speaker 1: And then I kept adding to it. What next? What next?
9:30
Speaker 1: What next? And then I did that TEDx. And then
9:33
Speaker 1: after that, that kind of consumed me, putting that together.
9:36
Speaker 1: And then after the TEDx, I'm like, people are like,
9:38
Speaker 1: you got to get this book out. And I didn't
9:41
Speaker 1: love the first version of it. It read like a
9:43
Speaker 1: good self-help book, but I wanted it to be a movement.
9:46
Speaker 1: And so I kind of restructured and rewrote it and
9:48
Speaker 1: made it like a movement, you know, and I put
9:50
Speaker 1: I have a credo in there and frameworks and like
9:52
Speaker 1: a real field guide for people to actually do things.
9:54
Speaker 1: And it's a culmination of my stories that validate these principles.
9:58
Speaker 1: And then there's a little bit of sciences. in it.
10:00
Speaker 1: But the book, I mean, it became a way of
10:02
Speaker 1: connecting the dots and really putting language around something I'd
10:05
Speaker 1: been learning and living for years. It didn't take 10 years.
10:09
Speaker 1: It didn't take 10 years to write. It took 10
10:11
Speaker 1: years to live, I guess, and have all these things.
10:14
Speaker 1: But sometimes we don't recognize our own philosophy until we
10:17
Speaker 1: look backwards and discover the pattern in our own decisions.
10:20
Speaker 1: That's basically how it came out. It's pretty surreal.
10:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. And I was reading through when
10:27
Speaker 2: I saw that 10 years, I said, that kind of
10:29
Speaker 2: makes sense, right? Because you have to live with things
10:32
Speaker 2: sometimes for a while for it to become part of you.
10:36
Speaker 2: And I think you and I are very similar where
10:38
Speaker 2: I think we just need something to fire us up.
10:40
Speaker 2: And then that's it. Then we're all in.
10:42
Speaker 1: It's 100%.
10:42
Speaker 2: You know, 100 miles an hour after that. And I
10:46
Speaker 2: think that's exactly where you're going with that. And so
10:48
Speaker 2: I love everything you put together. But one thing that
10:50
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you was you have one chapter
10:53
Speaker 2: about Spontaneity versus impulsivity. Can you tell us a little
10:59
Speaker 2: bit more about that?
11:00
Speaker 1: A lot of times, and this happened with sharing this
11:03
Speaker 1: idea with people, is that because sometimes people view, and
11:07
Speaker 1: this is that script, that program telling you, isn't this reckless?
11:10
Speaker 1: Isn't it reckless in the business world? You've got a
11:14
Speaker 1: great job. You've got a great career. You're making a
11:16
Speaker 1: lot of money. Is it reckless to throw it all
11:18
Speaker 1: out because you want to be a jazz musician and
11:20
Speaker 1: do something? But the biggest distinction, and doing some research
11:25
Speaker 1: in the science behind this, I think the biggest difference
11:28
Speaker 1: between spontaneity and impulsiveness is intention. And impulsiveness is reacting
11:33
Speaker 1: without considering the consequences, right? I'm in Vegas. I'm in Vegas.
11:38
Speaker 1: I want to gamble. Let me go to that ATM
11:40
Speaker 1: and pay a $ 30 ATM for you to get more
11:41
Speaker 1: money at, right? Spine 80 is being open to opportunities
11:45
Speaker 1: without needing to control every detail. That's what the distinction is.
11:49
Speaker 1: So I'm not suggesting people abandon responsibility, quit their jobs tomorrow,
11:54
Speaker 1: or make reckless decisions. I'm just suggesting they stop allowing fear, routine,
11:59
Speaker 1: and the need for certainty to make every decision for them.
12:02
Speaker 1: So you can be spontaneous and still be thoughtful. You
12:04
Speaker 1: could take risks and still be responsible, right? And here's
12:07
Speaker 1: the interesting thing. Sometimes the biggest risk isn't saying yes
12:11
Speaker 1: to something unexpected. It's spending your entire life automatically saying no,
12:16
Speaker 1: which we're all trained to do. So, I mean, impulsiveness
12:19
Speaker 1: ignores the consequences. Spontaneity considers them, but doesn't let fear
12:24
Speaker 1: make the decision. Spontaneity is booking that last minute trip.
12:28
Speaker 1: Impulsiveness is booking that trip with your mortgage payment.
12:33
Speaker 2: You are consulting, you're an author, you're doing so many
12:36
Speaker 2: different things and you're coaching a lot of different businesses.
12:39
Speaker 2: What do you focus on the most and which industry
12:42
Speaker 2: do you work with the most?
12:45
Speaker 1: My background is real estate. I was a real estate salesperson.
12:49
Speaker 1: Then I got into leadership and on leadership, that's when
12:52
Speaker 1: I got all the business training and I was a
12:53
Speaker 1: young CEO. And I mean, From the outside, it probably
12:59
Speaker 1: looks like I have professional ADHD because I'm coaching businesses,
13:04
Speaker 1: speaking on stages. I DJ. I'm writing these books now,
13:07
Speaker 1: and I'm doing all these different things. But what I
13:10
Speaker 1: realized is that they're all connected. So, I mean, mostly
13:16
Speaker 1: I've been working with people in the real estate world,
13:18
Speaker 1: and then I transitioned out of that because when I
13:21
Speaker 1: had my office– I was having like our mortgage partners. Hey,
13:25
Speaker 1: can you help me build a better team or, you know,
13:28
Speaker 1: like an insurance company? Can you help us look at this?
13:31
Speaker 1: So I started doing like I said, OK, yeah. And
13:33
Speaker 1: I think other people needed these things that I was
13:36
Speaker 1: successfully doing. And I started talking, going into people and
13:40
Speaker 1: doing what I called like an organizational audit and looking
13:43
Speaker 1: into their systems, tools and people. Those are the three
13:46
Speaker 1: things I look at. I always say. I work in
13:49
Speaker 1: the three L's, language, kind of how you communicate with people, leadership,
13:54
Speaker 1: and leverage. And leverage comes in three forms, systems, tools,
13:57
Speaker 1: and people. So I go in there and I look
13:59
Speaker 1: at all those things and I say, okay, look at
14:01
Speaker 1: your systems. How do you do things? Tools, what are
14:04
Speaker 1: you doing it with or technology? And the people, who
14:07
Speaker 1: do you got in your roster? Who do you need?
14:09
Speaker 1: And between those things, in that order, helping people find
14:14
Speaker 1: opportunities for improvement. And all of my... All of my
14:21
Speaker 1: coaching around that is really to help people get more time,
14:25
Speaker 1: more money, or more magic, usually one of those things,
14:29
Speaker 1: and develop opportunities for other people. Real estate is my
14:33
Speaker 1: core market for coaching, but leadership, communication, and human behavior
14:36
Speaker 1: is really where my expertise translates across all the industries.
14:40
Speaker 1: And that's what really, really lights me up. Just happy,
14:43
Speaker 1: healthy leaders and organizations mean happy, healthy organizations and all
14:46
Speaker 1: the other people. There's nothing better than meeting a custodian
14:50
Speaker 1: at a big company and saying that they love working there.
14:53
Speaker 2: Now, can you share a case study that shows the
14:57
Speaker 2: transformation of your work?
14:59
Speaker 1: There's so many, but I'll give you an example of
15:02
Speaker 1: I worked with agents who are like a team incredibly busy.
15:07
Speaker 1: working nights and weekends, but they weren't handling, they weren't
15:11
Speaker 1: building a sustainable business. Like I have a married couple
15:15
Speaker 1: that was working together and they wanted my help in
15:19
Speaker 1: the beginning and I worked with them from when they
15:20
Speaker 1: were brand new. And then they built this really great
15:23
Speaker 1: business and it was all of a sudden working them, right? So,
15:29
Speaker 1: and that first instinct is usually to get, you know,
15:34
Speaker 1: talk to them about, another lead generation strategy or a
15:37
Speaker 1: productivity system. But I thought that we needed to get
15:40
Speaker 1: into something different and started asking different questions like, what
15:43
Speaker 1: are they actually trying to accomplish? What was getting in
15:46
Speaker 1: the way? And beyond income, what did they need? So
15:50
Speaker 1: all of a sudden they were maxed out on time.
15:52
Speaker 1: And I worked with them and I said, listen, this
15:55
Speaker 1: is what you guys got to do. You have to
15:56
Speaker 1: bite the bullet and you have to hire your first assistant,
15:59
Speaker 1: because now we had a husband and wife team going.
16:01
Speaker 1: And I created them a model, said a missing persons report.
16:04
Speaker 1: Here's how you do it. Here's how you find the
16:06
Speaker 1: right person. And they came to me and they said, hey,
16:13
Speaker 1: we found somebody that we think is going to be
16:14
Speaker 1: perfect and great. And we want your blessing. And I said,
16:17
Speaker 1: what do you mean? They're like, well, we spoke to
16:18
Speaker 1: Anna at our main front desk girl in my office
16:22
Speaker 1: who I loved. And we think that she'd be great
16:26
Speaker 1: as our operations manager. Um, and, but she's, you know,
16:29
Speaker 1: and she was our head front desk person. And, uh,
16:34
Speaker 1: she was, um, I was like, you 100% have my blessing.
16:37
Speaker 1: And they were like, really? And she was so happy.
16:40
Speaker 1: But also one of the things about when, uh, you know, and,
16:44
Speaker 1: and then I, they hired her and she's still with
16:46
Speaker 1: them actually to this day. And this is, uh, probably
16:48
Speaker 1: going back 10, 10, 12 years. Um, when I hire people,
16:53
Speaker 1: it's my commitment to help people grow and, even if
16:56
Speaker 1: it's not within my organization. So if I have a
16:58
Speaker 1: receptionist that someday wants to be a CEO and they
17:02
Speaker 1: deserve that opportunity and that opportunity presents itself and it's
17:06
Speaker 1: not within my organization, I feel it's my responsibility to
17:09
Speaker 1: tell them about that. Even my own operations manager at
17:12
Speaker 1: the time, my COO when I was in Queens, she
17:17
Speaker 1: was fantastic. She was my right-hand person. And the Manhattan
17:23
Speaker 1: office was looking for somebody for that position. And it
17:26
Speaker 1: was a lot more money than we were paying because
17:27
Speaker 1: it was a bigger office. And I told her about it.
17:31
Speaker 1: And I said, hey, I have to tell you that
17:33
Speaker 1: this opportunity popped up. And I'd give you a great recommendation.
17:37
Speaker 1: And you'd be making an extra $ 20, 000, $ 30, 000 a year.
17:41
Speaker 1: And she said, that's great. But then I wouldn't get
17:44
Speaker 1: to work with you. And I thought that that was
17:46
Speaker 1: kind of a cool thing. So yeah, a great story
17:50
Speaker 1: is that one where this team, this husband wife team,
17:53
Speaker 1: they were, you know, they hired, they hired Anna and
17:55
Speaker 1: then she changed their world. And as a result of that,
17:58
Speaker 1: they hired, you know, sub agents like salespeople working, being
18:02
Speaker 1: able to work with their buyers. And then they were
18:04
Speaker 1: going on vacation. They sent me a beautiful time-lapse video
18:07
Speaker 1: from Portugal with a, with a sunset happening. And then
18:10
Speaker 1: all of a sudden they started going on all these
18:12
Speaker 1: trips and having all this spare time. And that's really
18:16
Speaker 1: what I like to see. It was a, them having
18:19
Speaker 1: great businesses and great lives and then creating great businesses
18:22
Speaker 1: and lives for the people on their team and who
18:24
Speaker 1: they work with that absolutely loved him. So, I mean,
18:26
Speaker 1: even they, Anna, who used to be my staff member,
18:31
Speaker 1: she's not too long ago, they had one of the
18:34
Speaker 1: team members retiring from their team and she reached out
18:36
Speaker 1: to me and she's like, could you make a video
18:37
Speaker 1: wishing her well, look at her retirement? And I'm like,
18:40
Speaker 1: of course, absolutely anything for you guys. And it just,
18:43
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff warm, warms my heart, you know?
18:45
Speaker 1: So it's, just helping people get to that place. And
18:48
Speaker 1: that's a case study that makes a lot of difference
18:52
Speaker 1: to me. And it's not always about, you know, building
18:55
Speaker 1: this super big empire and shoveling as much money into
18:57
Speaker 1: your bank account as possible. It's really the lives that
18:59
Speaker 1: it changes along the way.
19:01
Speaker 2: If someone works with you today, starts working with you today,
19:05
Speaker 2: what would be the framework that you take them through?
19:08
Speaker 1: I ask them questions around their language leadership and leverage.
19:12
Speaker 1: So the first thing I do is to understand where
19:13
Speaker 1: someone is, is I look at, Um, I look at
19:18
Speaker 1: what's standing in the way and that's kind of like
19:20
Speaker 1: a hard thing because people know that they need something
19:22
Speaker 1: and it's not always the same thing. So I'm not
19:23
Speaker 1: a big believer in giving everyone the same playbook. Different
19:26
Speaker 1: people have different languages and sometimes they think the problem,
19:29
Speaker 1: what they think the problem is, isn't actually the problem.
19:32
Speaker 1: I'm sure you experienced that. Jay, you go into people
19:33
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, you say, Hey, I figured out
19:36
Speaker 1: a few things here and looking at your business. Well,
19:37
Speaker 1: that's not the way we do things. And that's not
19:39
Speaker 1: how we do it here. And we don't have that.
19:40
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, yeah, but you didn't call me. Right.
19:41
Speaker 1: So My coaching tends to revolve around, first, that language.
19:46
Speaker 1: How are you communicating with yourself, your team, your customers?
19:49
Speaker 1: Because the words shape our beliefs and the beliefs shape
19:53
Speaker 1: our behaviors and ultimately our results, right? Then looking at
19:56
Speaker 1: the leadership, how are they showing up? Are they taking ownership?
20:00
Speaker 1: Are they making decisions intentionally or just reacting to whatever
20:04
Speaker 1: happens around them? And that's what happens. A lot of people,
20:07
Speaker 1: they start their businesses and they just become reactive. They're
20:09
Speaker 1: putting out fires all day instead of, you know, they
20:12
Speaker 1: built a successful business and now they're putting out fires
20:14
Speaker 1: all day. So we try to get them back into
20:15
Speaker 1: that leadership role. And that's, of course, through the leverage.
20:18
Speaker 1: How do we create systems, habits, relationships and resources that
20:22
Speaker 1: allow people to accomplish more without everything depending on them? Right.
20:27
Speaker 1: So I see so many leaders in the middle of
20:29
Speaker 1: their organization and they have eight people answering to them.
20:32
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, well, and they have a team
20:33
Speaker 1: of eight people. Well, let's look at building, creating leverage
20:37
Speaker 1: and then building your organization deep, developing other leaders, having
20:40
Speaker 1: one or two people answer to you and leveraging them
20:42
Speaker 1: to be able to deal with everything else. You know,
20:45
Speaker 1: coaching is not about giving someone all the answers. It's
20:48
Speaker 1: about helping them ask better questions, make better decisions and
20:52
Speaker 1: follow through. And I think that's a distinction I make
20:54
Speaker 1: between coaching and consulting. I'm like, a consultant shows up,
20:58
Speaker 1: looks at your stuff, gives you a prescription and says,
21:00
Speaker 1: have a nice day. Coaching is a much more frustrating
21:03
Speaker 1: journey for us because we can see what's happening and
21:07
Speaker 1: we have to help them self-discover and for it to
21:09
Speaker 1: become their idea so that they own it and then
21:12
Speaker 1: helping them take the action on it. So that's just
21:15
Speaker 1: pretty much what we look at. I mean, between the
21:19
Speaker 1: first call and the first 30 days looks like, we
21:22
Speaker 1: discover and look at their goals, challenges, priorities, and what
21:25
Speaker 1: success actually means. Then we diagnose what the biggest constraint
21:28
Speaker 1: or opportunity is. Then we design a practical action plan,
21:32
Speaker 1: things that they actually have to do. And then the
21:34
Speaker 1: fourth thing is execution, which is where I think people
21:36
Speaker 1: really have challenges. There's no shortage of strategies around there,
21:39
Speaker 1: but to actually do the thing, measure it, and then
21:42
Speaker 1: make adjustments. I think what I found is that People
21:47
Speaker 1: know so much. So people don't need more information. They
21:50
Speaker 1: just need clarity, accountability, and someone willing to challenge the
21:53
Speaker 1: stories that they're telling themselves.
21:54
Speaker 2: Look into the mirror.
21:55
Speaker 1: Just keep looking. Exactly. Yeah. And they see it sometimes.
22:01
Speaker 1: Sometimes they see it sooner than later. Sometimes they don't.
22:03
Speaker 1: I mean, I used to have these 30-minute coaching calls
22:06
Speaker 1: with people. And I have some clients that just... they
22:09
Speaker 1: tell me they're like, this is what I did. Here's
22:11
Speaker 1: where I feel this is what I did. Now I
22:12
Speaker 1: know what I need to do. And I'm like, great.
22:14
Speaker 1: When are you going to do it? But in the
22:15
Speaker 1: last five minutes is just that. So I, they just
22:17
Speaker 1: needed somebody to have a sounding board. Then you have
22:19
Speaker 1: other people that you go through a 90 day program with,
22:23
Speaker 1: and then you have to, you keep going. And then
22:24
Speaker 1: all of a sudden at the final hour, they figure
22:27
Speaker 1: out something that you could have told them in 10 minutes. Right. And,
22:30
Speaker 1: but that's, it's different because now that they own it,
22:33
Speaker 1: they take the action. Right. So it's, It's always like
22:39
Speaker 1: them acknowledging that it's okay to fail their way forward
22:42
Speaker 1: and that they're not the ones that's failing. The plan did,
22:45
Speaker 1: so let's adjust the plan. And that's okay, giving them
22:48
Speaker 1: permission to do that.
22:49
Speaker 2: Is there a takeaway that you want our listeners to
22:51
Speaker 2: remember this conversation by?
22:53
Speaker 1: I want people to challenge the script that they're running,
22:59
Speaker 1: to listen to that program that tells them to wait
23:03
Speaker 1: for later. You're too busy to do this right now.
23:06
Speaker 1: Don't get so busy building your life that you forget
23:08
Speaker 1: to live it. What do you really want? What's holding
23:12
Speaker 1: you back? And what's something that you can do today
23:15
Speaker 1: that'll That'll bring you joy because someday is not a
23:20
Speaker 1: real day. I'll wait till I retire. Just look for
23:24
Speaker 1: the little opportunities now. You don't need to have everything
23:26
Speaker 1: figured out. You don't need the perfect plan. You'll figure
23:29
Speaker 1: things out along the way. It's okay. I have an expression.
23:31
Speaker 1: I say, it'll be fine, right? Because it always will
23:35
Speaker 1: be fine. So sometimes you just need to take those steps.
23:38
Speaker 1: Say yes to small things, not abandoning responsibility, just being
23:41
Speaker 1: willing to participate in your own life. So- Life isn't
23:45
Speaker 1: waiting for you to get your together. It happens right now.
23:48
Speaker 1: Say yes. I say yes to more of it and
23:51
Speaker 1: see what happens. I promise. I promise.
23:54
Speaker 2: That's great advice right there. Start producing your own video, right? Spontaneity.
24:00
Speaker 1: Yeah.
24:01
Speaker 2: Now, where can people connect with you? Find out more
24:04
Speaker 2: about your work and continue this conversation.
24:06
Speaker 1: So I have, um, chrisabazas.com is kind of like my
24:10
Speaker 1: hub of all things, all things Christmas. And it's, you know,
24:14
Speaker 1: the links back to my businesses, because I have several,
24:16
Speaker 1: you know, I get bored. It's got the link back
24:18
Speaker 1: to spontaneousaf.com, which is where everything about this book and
24:24
Speaker 1: the movement kind of lives. But between chrisabazas.com, we'll have everything,
24:29
Speaker 1: my social media links and all my business links and
24:31
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. I've got dreamkeyconsulting.com. It's directly to DreamKey.
24:37
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm pretty easy to find, man. Pop me
24:40
Speaker 1: into Google or your favorite AI large language model and
24:44
Speaker 1: you'll be able to find me, I'm sure.
24:46
Speaker 2: But Chris, thank you so much for joining us and
24:48
Speaker 2: everything you shared today.
24:51
Speaker 1: Thanks, Joe. I'm looking forward to putting, because we're going
24:54
Speaker 1: to have a spontaneous podcast that I'm going to be
24:56
Speaker 1: putting together. And I'd love to have you on that
24:59
Speaker 1: and find out what you've been doing to Enjoy the
25:03
Speaker 1: fruits of your spontaneity.
25:05
Speaker 2: Well, we always say yes to every opportunity. So I'm
25:09
Speaker 2: going to say yes.
25:11
Speaker 1: Say yes. It'll be fine.
25:13
Speaker 2: Thank you. Thanks, everyone, for listening. If this episode will
25:16
Speaker 2: inspire you, make sure you share it with someone who
25:19
Speaker 2: needs it. And don't forget to follow the Globalizer podcast
25:21
Speaker 2: for more conversations that make an impact.
25:24
Speaker 1: Till the next time.