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Outside Is Overrated – Hot Take 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: In high school I played basketball.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was good.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: But to further your career, uh playing college, you got like workout and shit like that.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like you got like exercise and shit.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I remember one day in workouts we was doing pull-ups, and I just wasn't doing them because you don't have to.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And um to motivate me to do these pull-ups, my coach was like, Caleb, what would you do if you were hanging over a cliff?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Why would I be hanging over a cliff?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: One, one, I'm black.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Black people don't really fuck with outside like that.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm afraid of heights.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know what a cliff is?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a height.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Outside.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So there's like a Venn diagram, you know.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody says to me the other day, dumbest shit I've heard in my life.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: They said, shoot for the moon.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Have you heard this before?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Shoot for the moon, because if you miss, you end up amongst the stars.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's stupid.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, have you have you seen any stars between here and the moon?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: The same should be shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you end up hurling into space.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you try and shoot for the star, shoot for what's near a star, the sun.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: So shoot for the sun, and if you miss, you end up on uh Venus or some shit like that.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I hate um other people's inside jokes.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you ever be walking somewhere, somebody be like, hey, hey Brian! Brian, Brian, dolphins, right?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: But Brian starts laughing, you like, what the fuck is so funny about dolphins?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: You you Google dolphins, you find out that dolphins are mammals, and they can't breathe underwater, yet their whole lives are underwater.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're a dolphins sleep.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh bee bees' wings are too small for their bodies, yet they fly all the time.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump is present.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing makes sense what I'm trying to say.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was watching the news the other day, and uh he was talking about his next campaign slogan.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump was talking about his next campaign slogan.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Once again, I'm sure something's stupid, I don't really remember what he said.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I did some research, I found my favorite campaign slogan from the 1844 election between um Henry Clay and James K.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Polk.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: James K.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Polk's campaign slogan was 5440 a fight.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: He was talking about the Oregon borderline.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: There was a dispute about the Oregon borderline, and um Henry Clay's campaign slogan was who is James K.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Polk?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was like the most disrespectful shit.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all gonna vote for this thing?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Who the fuck is this?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all watch cartoons growing up?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody watch cartoons?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all watch Scooby Doo?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: You remember at the end of every episode, they would catch the villain and they would always say the same thing.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: They would be like, I would have gotten away with it too.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: If it weren't for you meddling kids.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's ridiculous.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: You ride the bank in a school with having suit.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: We live in Arizona, you know what I mean?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel like if there was like a modern day school we do, it couldn't be the same crimes.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: It couldn't be like, oh yeah, he stole the family heirloom.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: It would be like the gang walks into the crime scene and Fred is like, all right, gang.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Looks like we have a triple homicide on our hands.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: We better split up.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Look for clues.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or like uh the Powerpuff Girls, you guys watch the Powerpuff Girls going on?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: They said how Professor Utonia made them was he took sugar, spice, and everything nice and the mysterious chemical acts.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know it, it's now you make children.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's the ingredients for weed brownies.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine, imagine you was making weed brownies.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Next thing you know, you got three little white girls.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: With superpowers, not just regular white privilege, actual superpowers.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's so scary.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's a that's a nightmare.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Who's uh anybody in relationship in here?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Racing people, single people, right?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: You want to know the best thing about being single?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The silence.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is the first time I talked all day.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: You don't gotta say nothing to nobody.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's no conversation at all.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Married people.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like no.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't think, I don't think marriage was a good idea.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because when they thought of marriage, yeah, you clap at it, you know what I mean?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: When they thought of marriage, you weren't gonna live past 35 anyway, you know.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: You just gonna die.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is your life.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: You get married at like 19, 20, you know.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: You and your wife have like eight kids in five years somehow.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: She dies in childbirth.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: She's done, she's out of there.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's the next few years, it's you, your eldest, and a mule, playing tomatoes and carrots and shit like this.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Then you die something from yellow fever.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um now we have health insurance, it's a different type of time.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like marriage should come with like a receipt or something like that.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you could take it back to a parent's house, be like, oh no, she broke.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what happened.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, hold on last joke.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Last joke.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, it's a question.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: There is no wrong answer.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I'm gonna ask you, and there is no wrong answer unless you make one right now.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: All right?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, do you think that black people will ever get reparations?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't think so either.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think, um, I think instead uh we should be allowed to purge.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like the movie, like one day a year, um on Saint Patrick's Day.