Latest / Beyond The Ceremony: Modern Celebrancy. Unfiltered. / Beyond The Ceremony Podcast Ep 2: A Day In The Life Of A Celebrant

Transcript

Beyond The Ceremony Podcast Ep 2: A Day In The Life Of A Celebrant · Beyond The Ceremony: Modern Celebrancy. Unfiltered.

• Speaker 1 0:00 Hello, welcome to Beyond the ceremony. So today we are going to be talking about a day in the life of a celebrant. Now this is really quite difficult to who you know lock down, because everyone is very different. So you might be different situations in terms of your work and life balance. You might have some celebrants who work part time. You might have some celebrants who work full time. You might have some celebrants who actually being a celebrant isn't their full time hustle, and they've already got a full time job, and they have to fit it in around the scenes. So it's going to look very different, depending on who you are as a celebrant. But I'm going to talk you through my own day in the life of a celebrant as a full time celebrant. Now again, my own situation, I call it full time. I do have two young children, and they are only at nursery for 16 hours a week. So my full time, those hours look very different than a Monday to Friday, nine to five. I do work most weekends that might be in the summer, at a wedding, or it might be at a wedding fair in the kind of autumn, winter months. So I am going to talk you through a day in the life of but like I say, it will be very different depending on which celebrant you speak to. And again, that's something that we just love about this job and about this role, because everyone is different. Everyone fits being a celebrant into their own lifestyle and what works for them and what hours works for them. And it's just one of the other joys and flexibility of being self employed. So let's talk you through about the different days and how they might look. Now I've really tried to kind of refine this, because each day is so different, and each day I might be doing different things, but I've tried to kind of work out what I spend the majority of the days doing so there will be some days that are a bit different to this, but most of them, I've tried to kind of lock down under certain headings. So for example, I've got networking is number one. That's one of the days that we'll talk about site visits. That's another day that we'll talk about website and admin days. That's another one of the days that we'll talk about couples and family meetings, we'll talk about that script writing, of course, very important, the ceremony day itself. We'll finish with that. So they're the kind of six days that I'm going to talk about. Now, as I said, there are different days in there where things will be slightly different. For example, myself right now, I'm at a recording studio doing the podcast. So that is something that, you know, I never expected would happen, but this is something that my celebrant career has. It's somewhere that it's taken me to. So I'm going to talk about those kind of six days, but obviously there will be extra things that may crop up here and there. So let's start with networking, so getting your name out there. Now, if you are a brand new celebrant. Obviously, this is very, very important, because you are brand new, so you need to find your business and you need to build your business. However, this is still very important if you are an existing celebrant. Now, I heard this thing. I don't know if it's true or not, but I heard that Pepsi used to be more popular than Coca Cola around the world. They then decided, as the most popular fizzy cola drink, that they were going to stop spending as much money on their advertising and their marketing, and now look at Coca Cola. I think we can all agree that they are slightly bigger. So that is something that I always remember. And I think, yes, I am an established celebrant. Now I've been a celebrant for five years. I've built up some great relationships with venues. I'm starting to build relationships with those kind of funeral directors as a new funeral celebrant, but it doesn't mean that I can stop and something that our course manager at AMC said to me was, this is such a great piece of advice to remember, what have you done to work on your business today? And that was some advice that she gave in a Q A that we were leading together, and one of the students was talking about marketing, and you know, the different questions about marketing, and she said, make sure that you do one thing, to work on your business, to promote your business every day. And I thought that is such a good piece of advice now that can be something really, really easy, like picking up the phone and ringing somebody and telling them that you've just qualified as a celebrant, or if you're listening to this and considering becoming a celebrant, that might be ringing somebody and saying, hey, guess what, I'm going to start training as a celebrant, and I know you're thinking of getting married soon, so just, you know, remember me, could be something as simple as that, or it could be something bigger, like going to a wedding fair or going to meet a new funeral director or going to meet a new wedding venue, but do one thing every day to work on your Speaker 1 4:24 business. So networking is definitely one of the kind of things that I spend a lot of time on, and I do dedicate days to networking. So for example, wedding fairs. This is obviously, as a wedding celebrant, a really important use of your time going to wedding fairs. Now, I would say, funnily enough, my business does come from wedding fairs occasionally, but for me, wedding fairs are more about nurturing my relationship with that venue and nurturing my relationship with other suppliers that are going to be at that wedding fair, and making sure that. Really know about me, that I'm top of mind, that I'm somebody that they want to recommend to their couples. So for that venue, for example, if they're hosting a wedding fair, I'll go, Yeah, of course, I would absolutely love to come to your wedding fair, because number one, it gives me the chance to meet potential couples. But number two, I am supporting that venue. I'm showing up for that venue. I'm giving them. You know, my support on social media. I might be sharing about the venue. I might do a video once I get there to let them know that I'm there, and it's just one of those things that nurtures that relationship. So the next time they have a couple that walks through the door who has an inquiry for a wedding celebrant, I know that I will be top of mind because I've spent that time nurturing that relationship. So wedding fairs is definitely something that you will want to consider if you are a celebrant, especially if you're a new celebrant, but like I said, if you're an existing one, too. So wedding fair, normally, you would get there maybe about an hour beforehand, and it's something that you would go along. You would set up your stand. You would, you know, make sure that everything looks good and represents you, depending on how much stuff you have for your wedding fair set up. That would depend on how much time you want to allow beforehand to go and set up. But I'd say normally, about an hour before gives you enough time to go and get your stand looking good. Get some snaps of it. Do a little Instagram story. Go and say hello to the other suppliers. Go and say hello to the venue that gives you that time to get set up and be ready for that wedding fair. Then, of course, you've got the hours of the wedding fair itself. So they might be three or four hours long. That's where you're going to be talking to those potential couples. You're going to be having a chat with them, telling them all about what you do, while you might be the celebrant for them, finding out a little bit more about their wedding plans and what is it that they, you know, want to achieve for their ceremony. So that's how a kind of wedding fair works. Then once it finishes, obviously, you do your pat down, you say thank yous, but always make sure when you're leaving that wedding fair that you leave with an appointment to see that wedding venue again. I always think it's great to say to a wedding venue yet, thank you so much for having me be so good if I could come back for coffee another time and talk to you again about ceremonies or something like that, just making sure that you're not just going to the wedding fair, turning up, doing it and going home again, making sure that you're spending that time investing that relationship and nurturing that relationship like with your friends and family. You check in with them to see how they're doing. Do exactly the same with the wedding fair, keep that relationship going, and when you leave that wedding fair, make sure they remember you as one of the suppliers, because also, chance are, they'll then invite you back next time. So once you've been and done one of these events, one of these wedding fairs, you'll then want to go home, and you'll want to go through all of your inquiries or leads that you've had that day from potential couples and get into their inbox. So send them a message. Send them an Instagram message, if they followed you on Instagram, whatever it might be, send them an email. Just contact them and make sure again that you are top of mind after that wedding fair. So that again, they get home, they go, wasn't that great wedding fair? Oh, look, Laura's there in the top of our email box. Wasn't it lovely to speak to her? Had that great conversation. I didn't know all those things that we could do with our ceremony. So yeah, let's get in touch. Let's go and check out our website. It's always a great thing to do when you get home from a wedding fair. So another area of marketing, another area of getting your name out. There another area of networking, if you're a funeral celebrant, is, of course, those funeral director visits. So it's always a tough line with funeral directors, because we don't want funeral directors to gate keep our business. We don't want it to be just down to funeral directors how much business we get. However, they do play a very important role. So again, it's all about nurturing that relationship with those funeral directors. Because traditionally, the way it works is a family will find their funeral director and the funeral director will recommend celebrants that might be a good fit for that family. So of course, you want your name to be among those celebrants. So funeral director visits are really, really important to have as a focus for your networking. So you can go and pop into your local funeral director. It's a great idea to maybe make a list of your five nearest funeral directors, because the chances are, if they're near you, their families that they work with will be near you. So maybe, like make a list of your five nearest funeral directors. Go and pop in and see them. Go and say hello, go and introduce yourself. Because yes, of course, you can send emails, you can send contact forms, but actually meeting you in person is the most powerful form of marketing. So go and get inside those funeral directors and go and have a chat with them and have a talk with them and let them know why you might be the right celebrant for their families. So that's another great way of networking. You might find that the funeral directors want to give you a little tour while you're there, so that you kind of know a little bit about what goes on. But it's just nice to go and actually say hello, put a face to a name, and again, it works for you as well. They can put your face to your name when you're sending those emails and saying that you think you'd be the right person for them. So that is a great way of investing your time in networking and getting your name out there. I think for myself, my funeral director visits. There's one that I work with very regularly, and that started with an email that I sent to them just to say hello, and then I was literally in the town where they work, where their office is, and I just popped in, I just put my head in and said, Oh, I was just passing by. I just wanted to come and say hello. Left a couple of cards, and then. About two weeks later, I got my first call from them, and that was when I started working with them. And now they're a regular funeral director that I work with, so getting the name out there, using those days to dedicate to networking is so important. Now, as well as those specific methods of networking, the wedding fairs and the funeral director visits, there's also actual networking events. Now, some people hear the net words networking and go, Oh no, it's not for me. Everyone all turns up, and all has to do an introduction and talk about their business. Some people don't like it, but networking events are one of the most powerful tools to build your business, and that's because you can go along, you can meet so many different people, and you can tell them all about what you do. Now, for example, I moved my business, as I covered in episode one. I moved from Kent to Warwickshire. So it was a big move. Although I was an experienced celebrant, and I had a few years experience under my belt, I was a brand new celebrant in town, and nobody knew my name, nobody knew who I was, so I decided that I was going to start spending one day every month to go to this networking event that I'd found. It was on the first Tuesday of the month. It was a couple of hours, but it was in different places around the Cotswolds. So I thought, yeah, do you know what? I'm going to start going to that. And because I did that meant that I met so many different people. But among those people, I met three venue owners, wedding venue owners. I met a lady who makes wedding cakes, and I met a few florists as well. Now, the lady that makes wedding cakes, I have just been booked to lead her daughter's wedding ceremony next year, and if I hadn't gone to those networking events, I never would have met her. She never would have recommended me. I never would have got that booking. So networking, dedicating some time. It doesn't have to be every single week, like I say, when I first started, it was literally just a few hours on the first Tuesday of the month, but just dedicating some of that time to networking is a great way of making sure that you're going to secure those future bookings and you're going to interact with people. So dedicating that time to go and do a networking event. Now you might think, Oh, what is a networking event? How does it work? If you've never been to one before, again, they normally are a set time. You get some that are first thing in the morning that like breakfast networking. Now, don't know about you, but that is time for me to have my coffee, have a shower and wake up. That is not time for me to be promoting my business. So for me, mid morning networking events work a lot better. So for me, I will turn up to a networking event, maybe, I don't know, 1015, minutes before go in and you literally just start chatting to people. You'll get some people who are super, super confident, and will come up to you straight away, and we'll say, hi, it's me. Can we have a chat? Who are you like? Let's get to know each other. And you'll get some people that are a little bit more shy. Now, as celebrants, naturally, we are people, people we like to, you know, talk about things, and talk about ourselves and our businesses and how we can help couples and families. So although it can be a little bit scary, push yourself out of your comfort zone and head to those networking events, because you will find that it pays off. Then you can go and spend a couple of hours and exactly the same as you would at a wedding fair. After you've been to the networking event, leave that event. Gather your business cards, everything that you've, you know, got from that networking event, get all those business cards together and send them all a little email. It was lovely to meet this morning. Just remember that conversation we had about x, y, z, so and so's wedding next year, or it was really lovely to meet you this morning. Remember, if you're you know that baby that's just been born, if you're thinking of having a naming ceremony, I'm the person for you, like just getting your name out there, and spending that time networking is so, so important for your business. So that is one of the first days that we're going to cover. A Day in the Life of is wedding fairs, funeral director visits and networking. That's what I would call a networking day. And yes, you can see them straight away as not potentially a day where you're working on your business and making loads of money, but actually making those connections is what will then snowball and come back to you and bring that business in the future. So that's number one, the day in the life of with networking. Okay, so a day in the life of a celebrant. Number two, we're talking about site visits. Now we have covered a little bit about this when I spoke about the funeral director visits, when we were talking about your networking days. But site visits. These are, I would say, in a wedding capacity. They're normally ahead of the wedding ceremonies, and chances are, you'll go with your couples. Now these site visits are a great way for you to visualize that ceremony space with your couples, ideally, because then they can ask you any questions, and you can kind of bring it all together. But if you need to go alone, then you can go alone. And this is just a great way again, of getting in with that venue. Going to have a look around the site, but also having a look at that ceremony space that you're going to be using on the day itself. So if it is a wedding, for example, you can have a look at, okay, where do I think my couple are going to stand during the ceremony? Where am I going to stand? Where are any readers going to stand? You know, have I got enough room for the guests? Where are we going to be facing all these different things you can think about by seeing a space and actually being able to bring it to life and visualize it for real. So going and doing site visits is such a valuable use of your time, especially when they are teamed up with couples, because it gives you a chance to do like a mini rehearsal with them. I guess I did one recently. And I went with the couple, and we met at the site, went had a walk around. Then when we were in the ceremony space, we actually walked through the ceremony, and they made some decisions that we wouldn't have been able to do over the phone because we hadn't seen the space together. So it's really a good way to get prepared and get ahead of your wedding ceremony. Now also, site visits can come in the category of venue tours as well. So we've already spoken about wedding fairs, but actual venue tours are so useful and a great use of your time to go and meet with a new venue and ask for a look around. It's a great way of getting in with a venue, because if they take you on a tour of the venue, chances are you've got, like, an hour to spend with the venue site manager or the events manager, whoever it is that's leading the tour. So while they're giving you the site tour, they're kind of showing you around, and they're giving you information about the venue, but you're also giving information about yourself to them. So you're saying why their couples might need a celebrant, and why you might be that celebrant. So site tours and venue tours are so, so important and a great thing to do. And again, how do they work? So you turn up at the venue, you go and meet with whoever it is, the Events Manager, normally, or the wedding on the day, coordinator it might be, and they will take you around, and they will give you the same tour that they give their couples. And it's a great way of, again, visualizing that ceremony space, but knowing a little bit more about the venue. And this is also great when it comes to working with your couples, because if you get an inquiry from that couple, and they actually know that this is the venue they've got. You can talk about it because you've seen it, you've been there, you can help them experience that ceremony and really bring it to life. So venue tours are a great thing to go and do. Now again, this is something that in the funeral celebrant industry, you can go and see a crematorium. So this is something that a lot of celebrants recommend going to the crematorium before your actual ceremony. You can go and have a look around. They actually do tours where they'll, you know, show you everything, and you can actually see what happens at the crematorium. But actually, even just seeing that ceremony space is very important. I think, when you're a new celebrant, or, you know, when it's something that is maybe the unknown to you. It can be a bit scary with the tech system. And I literally, I remember my first funeral when I got booked. I'd done radio for however many years, but I was still terrified at the thought of using their music system. I went to see the space. I had a look at the music system. Literally, it was a touch screen. I had to press play, and I had to press stop, and that was it. But I was so scared, because I was like, this is a new system for me. So actually, booking in that crematorium site visit was so, so handy, because again, I went and met with the team, but I went and saw the ceremony space, and I could visualize that ceremony and bring it to life. So then when I was talking with my family, I knew exactly what they were talking about, when we were talking about the different areas in the ceremony. But again, meeting the team is so important because on the day itself, they're going to be there to help you. Those crematorium assistants are absolutely fantastic and invaluable on the day itself. So going and meeting with them, go and ask them the questions, get them to show you the tech side of the system, for example, as a funeral celebrant, the curtains you might have to use the curtains in a crematorium. Ask them to show you how that works. How do you close them? How do you open them again? Etc, all of these different things you are equipped to know exactly what you need to know. So site visits are a fantastic thing to go and do. They are a brilliant way to spend your time again. Just makes you more prepared, makes you more professional when you're talking with your couples and your families, because you know exactly what you're talking about, and you know what these spaces these spaces are, so definitely invest some time in going to do those site visits. Okay, so a day in the life of a celebrant website and admin days. Now these can be a little bit tedious, if, like me, your favorite thing is being out there, working with people, working with your couples, working with your families and actually lead in the ceremonies. But website and admin days are so, so important. So this is clear in that email inbox. Getting back to all those emails, you know, the ones that you mark as unread because you actually don't want to bother with them right now, it's really good to get through your email inbox and get through all of those. So this is something that you know, if I've got a website and admin day, I make my little to do list, and I go, right, okay, I'm going to work through my inbox and tick off every email so that I get back to zero and read now. It doesn't happen very often. It's very rare that my inbox is zero and red. In fact, if I click on it right now, yeah, 79 Okay, 79 but I would say 75 of them are probably junk, but this is a great way to spend your day knowing that you've cleared that inbox, because you feel like you're on top of things. So getting through those emails also things like your booking forms, that's really important to do and spend that time. So you might be on your admin day. You might be going through your inquiries and sending those new booking forms. Now, people work differently. Some people have a set admin day where they do all of that. Some people like myself, if I know that, I've had a couple that have inquired and said they want to go ahead, I normally send the booking form straight away, but it just depends on what you want to do and what works for you. You'll find your rhythm. You'll find your feet. But having those admin days, yes, they may be boring, but they are very important. So things. Like booking forms, things like planning guides that I send to my families when we're talking about their funerals. So it just gives them a little bit of an idea of where to start, because it can feel very overwhelming. So these emails are just a great way of, you know, getting in touch with your couples, getting in touch with your families, and kind of sending them those bits they need to know, website as well. Website days are really important. So that might be that you dedicate some time to do some blogging, again, something I'm guilty of, and something that's on my New Year's resolution for 2025 get better at blogging. But blogging is a great use of your time, and a great way to have those kind of set days where you know that today, okay, I'm going to write, I don't know, one or two blogs, and get them scheduled. So website days are really important also, just checking is everything up to date on your website? I quite like to go through my website sometimes and send myself a contact form just as a little test to check it's all working. Because it has happened before in the past where I thought everything was fine, and it turned out I'd got three or four couples who had inquired and I hadn't even received it because I didn't realize but my contact form wasn't working. So just having those extra days where you go, do you know what I'm going to do? A full website check today is my Instagram on there are all my you know about page? Is that all up to date? Are all my contact pages working? Are all my blogs looking good? Like, you know, just checking out that website and making sure that everything's ticked off and looking good, and then your admin clearing that email inbox, making sure that you've got on top of your to do list, and making sure that all of your couples are up to date. Also things like spreadsheets. I don't know if you're that's something that you use, but if you enjoy using a spreadsheet, I love an admin day where I update my spreadsheet and I know that everything is up to date. Because, again, it's something that I like to try and do as I go along, but it's not always something that I'm good at. So if you've got those days where you know you're on a website day or an admin day, you can work through all those little admin tasks, the things that you're not that keen on, but actually getting them done means that you're going to feel a lot more organized and a lot more on top of your celebrant work. So a day in the life of a celebrant, let's talk about couples and family meetings. So those days where you know that you're going to meet with that couple ahead of their wedding, you're going to meet with that family ahead of their naming ceremony, or you're going to meet with that family ahead of planning the funeral service. So these obviously look very different depending on which occasion it is and which ceremony it is that you're leading. So couples meetings, let's start with those. So if I'm doing a couples meeting where possible, I like to do these in person. Now it does depend on, obviously, how far afield your couples are. If couples are booking you from far and wide, then actually it might not be practical for you to go meet with them for a couple meeting. But one idea in this scenario is meet them at the venue, because then you get to do your venue site visit, but also you get to have your couples meeting all in one go. Or, for example, what I did recently, we went for a site visit, and then once we'd finished, we all went to the pub and had a drink, and that was a great way of doing the couples meeting afterwards. So those couples meetings, they are the place where you get everything that you need to know for writing the ceremony. So that's why I recommend the pub, because everyone's naturally more relaxed in the pub, and they give you more details and more juicy gossip that you can use for the ceremony, but I would say anywhere that your couples feel relaxed. So this might be that you decide you want to go and visit them at their house. This might be that you want to go and get coffee at a weekend or you want to go in the evening to the pub. It really just depends on you and your ceremony style. I am sorry to admit but most of mine happen in the pub, because it's either themed around food or drink. And that works for me, and that works for my couples. Everyone's really relaxed. We have a good time. We have a good chat. And that means that I get everything that I need to know to write their, you know, write their ceremony script. So you will work with your couple to arrange where you're going to have that meeting. Then you'll turn up for the meeting. You'll all sit down together, and normally you will talk through the content that you are planning for their ceremony. So for myself, I use a questionnaire, which I've already sent to the couple. They filled it in. We then get together to go through it and discuss it, and it just means that I can get any extra details that they haven't included in their questionnaire. I can get them to elaborate on certain answers. I can get them to give me a little bit more information. And that is a great way of me being able to get more information, to be able to write their script. So that's how we do it. We sit through we go through the questionnaire. I like to kind of split it into two areas, so we have what we call the logistical side. So that's where I'll talk to them about things like, how many guests have they got? What time is their ceremony starting? Who's their photographer? Have they got a musician? Have they got a videographer? All those kind of details that you need to know, like that. Then I'll talk about the fun stuff. So that's their story, and that's where I really learn a bit more about them. So that's how it tends to go for the meeting. That's the content of the meeting. Then we wrap that up. I then take all of that information away, and I go and use it to write the script. So that's how a couple's meeting would work like I say, venue depends on you and your ceremony style and your couples as well. Some of them will love to combine it with the site visit. Some of them will actually like to do a couples meeting over zoom, because that works for them and their lifestyle. So it can depend, but where possible, I do like to do these in person, because I feel people are a lot more relaxed, and also you can just ask questions that maybe wouldn't come. Them to you normally. So I do think, if possible, do your couples meetings in person. Now, pretty much the same with the naming ceremony. You'll go and meet the family again. You can work out what works for you in terms of where you're going to be meeting, but you'll get together, you'll go through that questionnaire, you'll talk about all the content that they need for their ceremony. Very, very similar, really, to a couples meeting, a family meeting in terms of a naming ceremony, you're just going through the plans for the day and talking about any kind of fine details. Now, family meetings for funerals can be very different, because obviously this is your first face to face interaction that you're having with that family. So it can be quite a difficult moment. Obviously, they've just been through a loss which is going to be devastating for them, so you're going to see them at a very highly emotional time. Now, I must admit, I've been conducting funerals for just under a year now, and I still find this bit really, really difficult, because it's, you know, an emotional part of the job. It's not nice to go to somebody's house when they just suffered such a great loss. So it can be a hard part of the job, and it can be something that takes a little bit of getting used to. Some celebrants absolutely walk into it and are fine. And you know, they find that actually, that part of the job is something that they enjoy, and it is for me, I would say eventually, but I do find it tough at first, and I sometimes find it a little bit difficult to know what to say when you first get there, but it does depend on the kind of level of grief that your family are suffering. So obviously it can be very different, but normally these family meetings are done in their home. So again, it might be that you've got a family who you're working with who live further away, and it might not be practical, but most of the time, if you're working with the local funeral director, the chances are your family will be local to you, so you'd normally give them a call and arrange to go and see them at a time that suits them, and you go and see them at their house. And this just means that naturally, they feel a little bit more comfortable because they're at home, they're in their own surroundings, but also their loved one. There might be nice pictures of them everywhere that you can kind of ask them about and talk about those and that kind of thing. So it's just a good setting for them to normally do family meetings at home. Again, I have had families in the past who haven't wanted to do it at home. I've had families who have said, No, we've had enough of being at home. And, you know, doing the admin around, sorting it out actually, we want to come and meet you for a coffee or whatever. So you can also do them in other places. But normally I would say a family meeting is done in the home. So I would normally tend to, you know, block out probably two hours for the family meeting. It doesn't always take that long, but I would say it's good to block out that amount of time, because you don't want to rush your families at all. You want them to feel very relaxed and at ease. So you want to make sure that you've allowed enough time for that. So once you arrive at the family home, you'll go and sit down you can have a talk with them again about that logistical side of the service. But I like to just talk about the person and ask them to tell me about them, what made them special, what were the things that you love about them? Show me some photos. A great way of learning about that person is starting with pictures, because they will spark memories that they may not have, you know, thought about, or memories that they might not have had at top of mind to tell you straight away. So being able to actually just sit with this family and let them tell you all about that loved one and what made them so special can actually be quite a therapeutic time. And like I say, I always, you know, the first bit I do find really difficult, but once you've got into the rhythm of a family meeting, I really enjoy hearing all these lovely stories about their loved one, and it just makes your job easier, because you get to see all these beautiful things and these beautiful stories that they share with you. And it is a real privilege to be let into those memories and be able to, you know, listen as they tell you all about their loved ones. So that's how a family meeting kind of works. So you would go through everything that you need to know in terms of everything that you want to write the ceremony, then you would take all that away, and again, you'd be ready for script writing. So that's how couples and family meetings work. Okay, so a day in the life of a celebrant, let's talk about script writing. So obviously, this is a very, very big part of the job, because your scripts are what creates the ceremony. So script writing is a very important, you know, I would say zone that you need to get in. I need to get in a script writing zone. So I need to make sure that, if I'm at home, the house is quiet, I need to make sure that I've got music on that I enjoy and that makes me feel relaxed. But is, you know, not too much of a vibe that it gets me too excited. So I can't focus on the script. I like to just have a bit of background music playing. I normally light a candle. I have mood lighting on. I have a cup of tea. I definitely set the zone when it's time for writing a script. It's a bit like having a bath, really. For me, I like to feel very relaxed and very zen, but that's how I tend to do it with my script writing. Now, what I will also do is I will have the ceremony questionnaire open that the couple of the family have filled in. Obviously, if it's a family, they won't have done an actual questionnaire, but it will be the notes from our meeting together, so that I've got that. And then I will sit down in front of my laptop and I will just go for it. Now, some days it happens. And some days I can sit there and go and I literally don't stop typing until the scripts done. Other days I sit there and I find it really difficult. I get writer's block. I think, what am I doing? Is this right? Does this sound good enough? Where am I finding that inspiration from? So I think for me, being in the right mood when you're doing your script writing is so. It was so important. So it might be that you have an allocated time or day each week where you do your script writing. It might be that you know that that is the time that you do it, and you know the things that you need to do to get yourself in that zone and get yourself in that headspace ready for script writing. Or you might find that actually your script writing is straight after the couple or family meeting. It might be that you go and do your couple of family meeting in the morning, you go straight home and you start the script straight away. It really just depends on you and your ceremony style. For me, I like to do it as a kind of deliberate time and day where I sit down and I say, I know that this is when I'm going to be writing this script. And like I say, I get myself into that zone. So you normally sit there, you'll write that script. Now, I know some celebrants who allocate a couple of hours and go, Yeah, that's going to be a script done. I just can't do that. And even after doing it for five years, I still cannot just bash a script out in two hours. I have to go back to it, tweak it, change it, read a bit out to my husband, you know, work on it, like, check that I'm doing the right thing. And mine is a labor of love. Shall we say, when I write my scripts, I like to go back to them and spend time on them, tweaking them, changing them, making them feel right. Whereas you'll get some celebrants who are just like, Yeah, I can sit down and absolutely it just flows. So it really does depend on you, but script writing is definitely a big part of the job. And when you are kind of thinking about a day in the life of the celebrant, script writing is obviously a massive part of it, so make sure that you enjoy writing. Make sure you've got a laptop that you feel comfortable typing on. You might want to get yourself a separate plug in keyboard, something like that. But make sure that you are a fan of writing, because if you're not, I would say maybe being a celebrant isn't the career for you, because there is a lot of writing involved. So that's definitely something to consider when you are thinking about it as a career, okay, the big one, the ceremony day itself. Now, obviously, you can't talk about a day in the life of celebrant without talking about ceremony day. But as you'll have noticed, I've covered a lot of days other than the ceremony day itself. So we've spoken about networking, we've spoken about site visits, we've spoken about website and admin days. We've spoken about a couple of family meetings, and we've spoken about script writing. So there's actually a lot of different days that are involved, rather than just ceremony day itself. But I think when you look at Instagram, when you look at websites, when you look at what is a celebrant, this is what you see, this one day of the ceremony. But actually you've got all this that goes on behind the scenes. So this is the best bit to me. I love the ceremony day itself. I think most celebrants do, but some might prefer the writing and, you know, the working with the couples in the run up. But for me, ceremony day is the one. It's like game time. You're like, Yes, I'm pumped. I'm ready to go. Let's do this. So I'm going to start with wedding days now. Wedding days again, every celebrity is very, very different, but for me, I like to get dressed up because that gives me that kind of confidence to go and lead the ceremony. So I'll make sure that I get up early. I'll go and have a nice shower, wash my hair. I'll style my hair, I'll go and put my makeup on. I'll feel ceremony ready. I'll get dressed up. And I always check in with my couples on what their color scheme is, so that I can make sure that whatever I wear compliments, it always check as well if they're having bridesmaids, or if they're having groomsmen, or, you know, if they're having brides, people, grooms, people, whoever, make sure that you're not going to be wearing the same color as them, because nobody wants to turn up on a wedding day looking like an uninvited bridesmaid. So make sure that you have checked the color scheme. But getting ready for the ceremony itself is part of the fun. Bit, like an actual wedding day is part of the fun, the getting ready. So getting ready itself. Then I like to go and get in the car and get myself sorted again. I have a certain playlist that I put on on the way to a ceremony to kind of get myself in the mood for a wedding ceremony. Then the actual wedding itself. I like to get there about 90 minutes before. I used to do an hour, but sometimes I found if I needed to stop for fuel, or sometimes I found if it was a ceremony with a few extra elements in there, it just didn't feel like quite enough time, whereas 90 minutes gives me enough time that I can get there. I can check in with the venue. I can check in with any musicians that the couple are having. I can go meet the photographer. I can go and meet if any of the couple are at the venue already, I can go and say hello to them. Any readers in the ceremony, I can speak to them, anyone else that's involved in that ceremony. So, for example, there's a dog. I can go and speak to the dog, chaperone, if they've got one all these different things, 90 minutes before normally gives enough time to check in with all of those before you have to go and actually get set for the ceremony. And then, of course, you've got the ceremony time, but people actually start to sit down about 15 minutes before anyway, so you need to allow for that in your timings. But for me, 90 minutes before is what I aim for to get to a wedding day. So that means that I've, you know, got the chance to make sure that everything is ready and everything's good to go. I then go and get what I'm doing set up. So I do my ceremonies on a Kindle. So I make sure that the Kindle is open and ready and the script is there and it's all good. I did have a very, very, very close call with the Kindle last summer where the script was there one minute, next minute, I looked and it had gone. And this was literally just before the ceremony started, and I had to run inside in blind panic. Luckily, at the. Last minute appeared, but since then, I have printed off a copy as well, so that I've got a hard copy with me in case the Kindle fails. Because although I like to save paper, you can't always rely on technology, so I do have to have that backup copy, but that's part of kind of what I do to get ready for a ceremony. So I make sure that my script is there and ready and open on the Kindle. Then once I've done that, I'll make sure that anything that we're using for symbolic elements. So if we've got any ribbons for a hand tying or make sure that they're ready. If we've got a unity candle, wine box, whatever it is that we're doing, if we've got symbolic elements, I'll check that they're all ready to go any readings. I'll always make sure that I've printed these off and got them ready for our readers. So I'll go and speak to the readers and show them that I've got a copy if they want to use it. Now a lot of readers will have their own copy already that they're familiar with, and they'll decide that they want to use that. But you can also offer your version as well. So making sure that you've got those already, basically any bits that you need as part of the ceremony, checking that you've got all those ready, they like to make sure that the couple have got a drink. So I always go and check in with the venue and ask if we can have three glasses of water, one for myself and one each for the couple. And that just means that they've got that there if they need it halfway through the ceremony, you know, if they're feeling a little bit nervous or a little bit hot, if it's summer wedding, that kind of thing, they've got that water there if they need it. So that's what we do beforehand, then just checking in with both parts of the couple. So whether that be bride and bride, groom and groom, bride and groom, whoever it is, you just want to make sure that everyone's okay and they're all happy and they're all happy, and they haven't got any last minute questions, so going and saying hello to them, making sure that they're all good. Then you go and get in position, and then you get things started, and then you lead the ceremony. And it is just the best feeling ever. You get to be a part of somebody's most special day. And it just never, ever, ever gets old. I love it every single time I do it. So that is definitely the big buzz. Then after the ceremony itself, I tend to stick around just to say hello to the couple and congratulate them. After the ceremony, it gives you that little bit of the oh moment we did it, like you can say congratulations. Also, I'm not gonna lie, by this point, you get very attached to your couples. So you really don't want to leave because you're like, I love you guys so much, so you just want to go and say bye to them and wish them well for the future. And then, obviously it's always nice to follow up with them afterwards anyway, but it's just quite nice to go and say goodbye to them before you leave after the ceremony anyway. So I tend to stick around 45 minutes an hour afterwards, depending on what it is you're doing, unless, of course, I'm staying on as MC and then I'll stay for the rest of the day. So that's how it works with the wedding ceremony. Naming ceremony very, very similar. So again, I would arrive at the venue 90 minutes before, make sure that I can check in with everybody and everything's set and ready to go. Prep all your symbolic elements, get everything ready naming ceremony itself. So obviously, you lead the naming ceremony for whoever it is that you're doing it for. And then afterwards, again, you'd stay, you'd say, congratulations, thank you for you know, choosing you as their celebrant, stick around and say thank you and and wish them well for the future. So that's kind of how weddings they mean. And of course, for our renewals, that's how they work. Then a funeral day in the life of funeral celebrant for the ceremony day is very slightly different, because obviously most of the funerals that I have led personally have been at crematoriums. This will be very different if you're doing burials. This will be very different if you're doing more Memorial styles or ash interments. But I'm just going to talk about a kind of crematorium led funeral, because that is what I have the most experience in. So the ceremony day itself for a funeral, I actually only get there 30 minutes before, and this is because you can find at crematoriums, there may have been a service on before yours. And that is why, obviously our timings, when it comes to writing our funeral services have to be so tight, because chances are, they have quite a few ceremonies that day. So I don't tend to get there as early, because you don't, you know, it's a private moment for the family that are there before, so you don't want to kind of encroach on that space. But if I do get there, and I find it is a little bit is a little bit early, they normally have an office that you can go to, and you can go and say hello to the team and just kind of introduce yourself if it's your first time, if it's not your first time, you can just go and say hello to them and kind of see how everybody's doing. And then you will then greet your family just before the funeral service starts itself. So obviously you can go and say hello to the funeral directors. Normally, what you'll find at a funeral is part of the team will obviously be there beforehand, and then you'll have the team that get there with the coffin itself in the hearse. So they tend to come a little bit later, but the team that are already there, chance are they'll have brought some of the family, so you can go and say hello to them, have a quick chat with them, check that everything that you've got matches what they've got. Go and check with your crematorium assistant again that the running order matches what they've got the music choices as well. That's always really important at a funeral service. So you go and like, have a look inside the ceremony space. Go and check out your screen and check that everything that you've got written down matches what's on the screen, because the last thing you want is to press play, and it's a song that nobody was expecting. So make sure that you've checked all those things beforehand, you've checked in with the team, and then go and see the family. So go and say hello to the family, whoever it is that's there, and just kind of check in with them, just see how they're doing. Just explain to them, you know what you've spoken about, and that how the ceremony is going to run. And if you've got anyone that's doing readings, maybe just double check that they're feeling okay. That they're happy to do their reading. Again, same as with the wedding. Show them the weed reading copy that you've got for them if they want to use that, or ask if they've got their own. It's just nice to kind of be that familiar face for them. And again, it can feel like a bit of relief for them because they've got all these other loved ones that are there and wanting to come and see them and give them a big cuddle. It's a very emotional moment, whereas, actually, sometimes you were a little bit like the Calm in the Chaos just before the service, because actually you are the person that they've spoken to, and you're the person that's leading that service, and you know what's going to be happening. So it's quite nice to just go and see them and just reassure them and calm any nerves. Then obviously you have the funeral service itself. So you'll lead that depending on what it is that you've included in that service, and then afterwards, what tends to happen at the very end of the funeral service is you tend to go out with the funeral directors and their team, and you'll stand by the doors and wait for the mourners to come out. So that's tends to be, I would say, I normally stick around for 10 to 15 minutes, for that bit, just to make sure that you've said thank you again to the family and hope that they're okay and that you'll be in touch with them in the future. If you've done a presentation copy for them, this is the right time for you to hand it over. So it's all that kind of thing, just staying there afterwards, just to say thank you, and to say goodbye, and, and, you know, wish them well for the future, and, and it's quite nice to keep in touch as well. I sometimes like to go and check in on my couples afterwards and just go and see them for a cup of tea or something. Because I think in the run up to a funeral, there's a lot of jobs, there's a lot of admin involved. There's a lot to do, and there's a lot to keep them busy, whereas after the funeral service, that can be when it goes a little bit quiet, and that can be the really difficult time. So it's quite nice, if you want to, if you've made that relationship with your family, it's quite nice to maybe pop and see them afterwards, and, you know, go and have a cup of tea and just have a little chat and see how they're doing. So that's pretty much how the much how the ceremony day itself works, with a wedding, a naming, a vowel and a funeral. So as you can see, a day in the life of a celebrant is very different, very varied, and there is a lot to it. I tried to break it down into those kind of six ways that I would normally spend my days as a celebrant, but there are so many more and people listening to this. If you're already a celebrant, you might think, Oh, you've missed this, or you've missed that, because, like, I say everyone is different, but that's just my own kind of take on it and how it works for me. And if it is something that you're thinking about doing, you can actually see the variety in this. I think a lot of my students for AMC, that's one of the things that they're looking for. Maybe they're in a job at the moment where they're thinking, yeah, do you know what? I'm fed up of, going to the same office every day, working the same hours every day, normally, having the same lunch every day. It can feel very monotonous. So it's quite nice, because actually, in the life of a celebrant, every day is very different, and it's really up to you also the balance of things as well. So you might decide that you want to take on more weddings. You might decide that funerals is what you want to do more. You might decide namings is more your style, whatever it is. You can kind of mold your business and take it in that direction so that each week works for you in terms of that balance. For me personally, weddings is my kind of focus, and then funerals, I tend to do one or two a month. I don't do too many because sometimes I find that actually the extra work involved, the family meetings, the site visits, everything like that. Actually, for me, my weddings take up a lot of that time, and I want to make sure that for my funerals, I've got enough time to focus and have that time for those families. So it really, really varies. So there'll be some celebrants who predominantly do funerals, and may only do one or two weddings a year. You know, it really is different, depending on what it is that you want from it. So there we have it, a day in the life of a celebrant. As I said, it's not really one size fits all, but I'm sure you will work out what it is that works for you. So thank you for listening to beyond the ceremony this week, I will really look forward to having you again next week. Make sure you like, share and subscribe, and I'll see you next time. Bye.