Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Think Rich, Act Rich, and Become Rich with Your Rich BFF, Vivian Tu

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Think Rich, Act Rich, and Become Rich with Your Rich BFF, Vivian Tu · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on
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  Speaker 1: pretty this is pretty smart. Today we're diving into a
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: topic that touches nearly every aspect of our lives, money
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: and our relationship with it. Now, I'm going to share
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  Speaker 1: something that feels really personal for two reasons. The first
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: is I sort of made a pact with myself that
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I would try to be more vulnerable on the podcast
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and in life when it felt right. And this feels
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  Speaker 1: right because it feels honest. And secondly, I guess I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: made mention that I don't feel financially stable in last
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: week's podcast with Amanda Seals, and it struck a chord
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  Speaker 1: with quite a few of you. I got a bunch
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: of DM I'm saying a version of thank you for
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: sharing that. It makes me feel better about my own
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  Speaker 1: financial situation. So I guess, first of all, I want
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  Speaker 1: to say, no matter where you are financially, there is
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  Speaker 1: nothing to feel bad about. We're all just out here
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  Speaker 1: doing the best we can with the knowledge we have.
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  Speaker 1: My goal is that today we just get a little
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  Speaker 1: more knowledge and think about how we view finances. But
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  Speaker 1: we'll get into that. So what I want to share
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  Speaker 1: is this, I am not financially stable. I think I
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  Speaker 1: used to be a little bit more stable, and then
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  Speaker 1: I started pretty smart and I created the card game
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Question Everything, and I poured a ton of my savings,
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  Speaker 1: my quote unquote emergency fund into creating this podcast, to
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  Speaker 1: filming it, to editing it, producing it, and then to
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: create a product. I definitely spent money on mistakes and
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: design and manufacturing. And by no means am I saying
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  Speaker 1: that it's ever okay to be financially irresponsible. But I
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  Speaker 1: do think that you know when it's time to bet
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: on yourself. There's that meme on Instagram about Beyonce talking
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  Speaker 1: about it. She says it's the best bet you'll ever make.
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  Speaker 1: My dad always said that to me growing up too.
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  Speaker 1: I bet on me. Now that comes with a little
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  Speaker 1: bit of sacrifice. I live in a small, one bedroom apartment.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I had bugs coming up my kitchen sink all last week,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: which was disgusting. The appliances are old. I don't have
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: a washer dryer in my unit. And I'm sharing this
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  Speaker 1: not to complain in any way I know I'm good
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  Speaker 1: and I have a roof over my head. I'm just
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  Speaker 1: sharing it because I think sometimes and I do it too.
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  Speaker 1: We look at Instagram or TikTok and it can be deceiving,
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  Speaker 1: kind of feels like everybody's better off than us financially, right.
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  Speaker 1: And one thing about living in LA and doing what
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I do is I get to be in New York
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  Speaker 1: in LA in a lot of rooms with very successful people,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: very famous people, very wealthy people, lots of influencers, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm telling you all that glitters is not gold. Now
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  Speaker 1: for some people, it does glitter and it is gold,
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  Speaker 1: but for a lot of people, it just sort of
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  Speaker 1: looks glittery. I have tons of friends who are influencers,
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  Speaker 1: who have products and merch lines, and it looks like
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  Speaker 1: they are killing it, and they are. They're doing awesome,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: but they're shipping everything out of their apartment. They're the
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  Speaker 1: one cutting the labels, etc. That's what I'm doing with
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  Speaker 1: my card game. My kitchen is my distribution center. So
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: when you order something, no that it came straight from
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  Speaker 1: my heart. And I guess I'm just sort of saying
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: it to say, in whatever you're doing, you're not alone.
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  Speaker 1: The struggle is real, and in some way or another,
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  Speaker 1: most people feel it in their lifetime. Money is definitely
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: about the x's and o's of saving, spending, investing, money
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  Speaker 1: management skills. But money isn't just about numbers on a
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  Speaker 1: bank statement. In a lot of ways, it's a reflection
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  Speaker 1: of our beliefs, our experiences, especially in childhood, and our emotions.
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  Speaker 1: I think recognizing some of these narratives is the first
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  Speaker 1: step towards understanding our own relationship with money. Does it
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  Speaker 1: feel like a tool for security and freedom or is
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  Speaker 1: it associated with stress and guilt? Feelings of happiness, anxiety, pride,
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  Speaker 1: shame can all influence how money is spent, saved, or invested.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think we can ever underestimate the role emotional
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  Speaker 1: connection plays in our finances. So today I wanted to
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  Speaker 1: enlist a finance expert. Vivian Too is a content creator
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  Speaker 1: and former Wall Street trader who's also known to her
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  Speaker 1: community of over six million followers online as your rich BFF.
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  Speaker 1: She quit her six hundred thousand dollars a year job
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  Speaker 1: after a stunning realization if the so called brads and
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  Speaker 1: chads of Wall Street don't even know how to deal
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  Speaker 1: with their own money. How are the rest of us
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  Speaker 1: supposed to manage? Vivian has a strategy.
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  Speaker 2: For the most part.
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  Speaker 3: Anybody who is consistent and dedicated to that can retire
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  Speaker 3: a millionaire. So I always say, this is my proprietary method.
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  Speaker 2: If you want to be rich, you have to strip.
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  Speaker 1: And I asked her about the different strategies people in
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  Speaker 1: relationships use when it comes to money. Do they both
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  Speaker 1: pay rent? Do they have separate bank accounts? She had
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  Speaker 1: a lot to say, especially when it comes to dating
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  Speaker 1: and finances.
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  Speaker 3: I think people often take it the wrong way because
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  Speaker 3: there's such a mentality of like, anybody who wants a
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  Speaker 3: financially stable partner is a gold digger.
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  Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't want.
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  Speaker 3: Someone to hold me back because it's no longer cute
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  Speaker 3: to be like it like sha makes me like I'm
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  Speaker 3: bad with my money.
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  Speaker 2: It's not cute anymore.
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  Speaker 3: Like we have to be responsible in this way because
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  Speaker 3: it's getting harder.
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  Speaker 1: And Vivian wants us all, particularly women, to be talking
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  Speaker 1: about money more.
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  Speaker 3: In general, we've been told from a very young age
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  Speaker 3: it's a little awkward to talk about money. You can
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: probably tell me the last three people your best friend
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: has slept with, But you can't tell me how much
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  Speaker 3: your best friend makes.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: She has a book coming out in December titled Rich
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: af The Winning Money Mindset that will Change your life.
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  Speaker 1: This conversation is a little preview of a lot of
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  Speaker 1: knowledge she holds around money. And I want us all
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  Speaker 1: to get rich together, So let's talk to our rich bss.
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  Speaker 1: I have to tell you, Vivia, when I do two
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  Speaker 1: podcast episodes about money, I am probably the most intimidated
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  Speaker 1: that I ever am, and I cover some complex issues
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  Speaker 1: like about gender and race. Money makes me so nervous
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  Speaker 1: to talk about I feel really uneducated. So I'm very
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  Speaker 1: excited to learn with you because I feel like you
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  Speaker 1: break it down in a digestible way.
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  Speaker 2: Of course, thank you so much for having me.
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  Speaker 3: And I hate that money makes you feel uncomfortable because shouldn't,
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  Speaker 3: like we all need money, we all use money, we
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  Speaker 3: all spend money, we all save hopefully money. It's just
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  Speaker 3: so strange to me that like that's the one topic
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  Speaker 3: in society that's like so touchy.
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  Speaker 1: You know, my dad said to me the other day,
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  Speaker 1: if you read as many books about finance as you
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  Speaker 1: did about self help, you'd be really rich. It's like,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I think maybe I need to pick up a book
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: or two. But now I have you, so I'm excited
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  Speaker 1: to jump in. I want to know what an early
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  Speaker 1: experience with money is that really shaped you.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, okay, I'll give you the most traumatic one.
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  Speaker 1: Okay.
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  Speaker 3: I went to the mall with a girlfriend. And this
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: was when I was like late middle school, early high school,
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  Speaker 3: and ripped jeans were just really becoming like super duper popular.
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  Speaker 3: And I bought a pair of ripped jeans from I
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: want to say it was like Abercromie and Fitch or something.
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  Speaker 3: And I came home with these ripped jeans and my
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  Speaker 3: mom found out how much I had spent on them,
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  Speaker 3: and you would have thought I told her I had
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: gotten a tattoo, which you now know that I have,
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  Speaker 3: but she literally started World War three with me. She
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  Speaker 3: was like, you're so irresponsible. You don't know the value
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  Speaker 3: of a dollar. And only thing that I could think
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  Speaker 3: to say to her was like, well, my x y
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  Speaker 3: Z friend who I went to the mall was she
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  Speaker 3: got the same pair. We have matching pairs, and she
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  Speaker 3: said to me, she was like, well, her dad's a lawyer.
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  Speaker 3: And your parents aren't and we're not millionaires, and you
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  Speaker 3: can't be spending money like that. And I had like
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  Speaker 3: a moment of frustration, as like a young person who
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: obviously was like, you know, fourteen, so a lot of
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  Speaker 3: teenage angst, but also this feeling of almost like helplessness,
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  Speaker 3: of like why don't we have more money? And I
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  Speaker 3: kind of made a decision that like, you know, for me,
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  Speaker 3: I want to grow up and I want to be rich.
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  Speaker 2: I want to be rich. I want to buy all
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  Speaker 2: the rip jeans that I want.
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  Speaker 3: I don't want anyone to tell me no, I don't
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  Speaker 3: want to be able to feel like I have to
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  Speaker 3: go without, even if it's something as silly as a
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  Speaker 3: pair of jeans. And it really frustrated me that money
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  Speaker 3: was such a big concern for my parents, and obviously,
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  Speaker 3: you know, I think I was a little naive.
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  Speaker 2: My parents are immigrants.
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  Speaker 3: They came over to the US in their early twenties,
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  Speaker 3: like they really had to fight tooth and nail for
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  Speaker 3: their place in the world, and they've certainly landed what
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  Speaker 3: I would consider the American dream, coming over with very
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  Speaker 3: little resources, now owning their home, owning their car, being
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  Speaker 3: able to go on vacation. My dad's retired, my mom's
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  Speaker 3: going to be retired in a couple of years, and like,
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  Speaker 3: they really do have a wonderful life, and they certainly
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: have a lot more money now and they're more financially comfortable.
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  Speaker 2: But it was a tough moment.
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  Speaker 3: I would say for like young Vivian to like feel
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  Speaker 3: like our family has less money than other families.
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  Speaker 1: Those things really stay with you when you're younger. That
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  Speaker 1: feeling of we have less or we are without. Does
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  Speaker 1: it ever really leave you? Do you think?
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  Speaker 3: I am very much of the camp that, like the
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  Speaker 3: financial traumas your parents had that they pass on.
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  Speaker 2: To you really do stay with you for your lifetime.
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  Speaker 3: When I started working on Wall Street, I would say
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  Speaker 3: I was always very frugal. When I moved from Wall
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  Speaker 3: Street to Tech and I was making five times as
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  Speaker 3: much money, I was still really frugal. I was wearing
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: pants until they were like falling apart of the seams.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: And even now I feel very fortunate that I have
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: a very awesome business. I launched my own podcast recently
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: that's doing very well. I am coming out with my
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: own book at the end of the year. I'm poised
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: to make seven figures, and I still shop at Mark
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: because I want to wear nice clothing for less. I
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: still clip coupons, I still use cash back apps. And
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: for me, I feel like that sense of, like the
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: other shoes always going to drop, there's going to be
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: some sort of financial emergency that you're gonna have to
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: take care of around the corner that my parents always
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: felt that stayed with me, even though I'm certainly not
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: in the same financial position that they were in.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that no matter how much work you
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: do around money, what it means to you, all of
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the philosophical questions that you can ask yourself about money,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: your upbringing has so much to do with how you
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: feel about it. You know, you mentioned Wall Street, So
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: did the idea of being wealthy to correlate with working
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: on Wall Street? That was your first job? Oh?
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  Speaker 3: Like, people who go on to Wall Street say that
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: they do so because they have a passion, a passion
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  Speaker 3: for getting paid. And honestly, if anyone tells you otherwise,
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: they're like, oh, I'm like really interested in like the market,
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Like shut out, No, you're not. You're interested in cutting
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: a check like is a job? And I ended up
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: in that job. Because I am a follower all of
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: the kids. I went to Chicago, and it's a very
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: well known school for economics.
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  Speaker 2: It's a very well known.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: School for back Obama went there exactly, like just you
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: know it. It's a school that is known to feed
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: into these Wall Street banks. Yes, and all of my peers,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: all of my friends were recruiting for Wall Street jobs,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, well, like I'll do that too,
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: because like it seemed like a good idea at the time,
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: like all your friends are doing it.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And I ended up with that job.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: And when I got there, I was like, oh, yeah,
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I'm going to make so much money, especially especially like
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: movies of like Wolf of Wall Street. I'm like, oh yeah,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I want to pound my chest. I want to make
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: jillions of dollars, like I want to, you know, drive
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: a fancy car. I want to go to fancy dinners.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: And I will say, like, that's probably like a very
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: shallow and silly reason of how I picked my first job.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Would you say that those stereotypes from movies are true.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: To an extent?
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  Speaker 3: I think Wall Street is very much portrayed like how
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: it was back in the eighties, where like there was
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: these unlimited expense accounts, like people are just ballers, like crazy,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: which was true back in the day in the eighties.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: These days, I would say it's quite a bit more
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: rained in, but it wasn't out of the norm for me,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: as like a first year analyst, very young person on
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: the desk to be taken to sweet tickets to see
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: the Red Hot Chili Peppers, or a dinner where the
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: bill came out to be hundreds of dollars per person,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: you know, per head, and that's something that you you know,
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: you buy into this glitz and glamour. You're like, there's
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: no way, at twenty two on my current salary, I
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: would be able to go to this restaurant and order
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: steak and caviat and all.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Of these things.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: But like, you can do that in that job because
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: there's somebody else playing for it.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: You have a great bio. First of all, I'm obsessed
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: with bios. I don't know if any if you ever
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: do this, but on all the big agencies like WM
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: and CIA, they have all their clients' bios online and
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I go through them religiously, like picking out parts that
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I love. You have a fantastic bio, the way you
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: love money, I love writing. So I loved hearing about
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: the moment of reckoning that you had when you quit
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Wall Street because it felt unexpected to me. Can you
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: share with everybody the moment that you decided you'd had enough?
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah? So when I started my job on Wall Street,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I was very lucky. I looked around.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Everybody was a white guy except for my manager.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: This woman became my mentor, you know, one of.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: The closest people I had, having moved to New York
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: not knowing anybody. I actually put her down as my
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: emergency contact for like the first two years of my
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: life in New York.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: So I didn't know anybody else.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Like, like, what is my other like, idiot twenty two
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: year old roomate going to do? Like nothing like? So
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: she taught me everything I knew. For the first year
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: and a half, I had a great experience. I was
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: learning a ton, and then the head of my desk
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: got luck go and these kinds of things happened. These
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: shifts happened on the street all the time. But when
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: he got fired, a new big boss got brought in,
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: and he ended up firing a bunch of people, brought
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: on his own guys. So the team started to look
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: really different than the one that had hired me, and
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I went from being this like superstar junior talent who
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: everybody liked to the girl who just like couldn't do
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: anything right. The head of the desk found out that
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: I actually knew my way around in Excel sheet pretty well.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Trading analysts don't because they don't need that skill, but
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: I had spent the summer prior to that in more
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: of a banking role, so I knew what I was
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: doing in an Excel sheet. And he was like, hey, like,
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: do you want to leave your manager and come work
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: for basically like my bff, my guy that I'm hiring
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: my right hand man. And when the head of the
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: desk asks you a question like that and you're twenty
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: two twenty three, you don't say no because it's going
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: to really just like kill your career.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: So I went to go work for his best friend.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: And this guy just like sucked, and like there's no
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: other way to put that. He was so horrible, a
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: terrible mentor, wasn't interested in really teaching, certainly didn't treat
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: me with respect, but you know, like I had very
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: much bought into this, like Wall Street mentality of like,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: it's tough, you just kind of have to have a
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: tough skin.
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  Speaker 2: Whatever.
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  Speaker 3: So I stuck with it. I stuck with it. I
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: worked there for about another you know, year, and then
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: one day I came into work with a long cardigan on,
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: and this guy looked at me. He laughed, and he
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: put his hands together and he bowed, and he goes, ooh,
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: is that a kimono? And to hear that from someone
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: who was my manager, someone who was supposedly the one
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: who was going to be teaching me, who's going to
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: be in the back room pounding the table making sure
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I got paid as junior talent. Having him say that
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: to me from a position of power, me being one
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: of the only women on the desk, one of two,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: and only one of two people of color on the desk,
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  Speaker 3: it didn't feel right.
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  Speaker 2: I was fed up.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not I don't need this job,
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Like I'm too smart to be spoken to this way,
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: Like I have so many skills, I have so many talents,
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: And I don't even know where that like blind delusion
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: came from.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Sounds like it wasn't delusion.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: I'd like to think that like I knew that I
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: had skills that were going to be transferable. So I
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: was like, I'm literally about to quit my job. So
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: I pulled my initial manager, my mentor, aside, and I
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: was like, girly, like, I'm about to quit. Nothing lined up.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: I hate it here. I literally don't want to work
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: here anymore. And she was like, okay, just like pump
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: the brakes, you are also smart enough to recognize that
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: that's not going to look good on your resume. Like,
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: just tough it out for the next few weeks, few months,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: We'll try and help you figure something out. And I
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: was very fortunate that, you know, a lot of other
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: financial firms offered to interview me, a lot of you know,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: the byside shops. But my mentor actually had a friend
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: who had left Goldman Sachs for the tech industry, and
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: she was like, hey, she's like one of my best friends.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Do you want to just talk to her. Turns out
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: this woman ends up becoming my next manager at Busby.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: And where's this guy now, the.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Guy who treated me badly? Yeah, he got promoted.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Sounds about right, sounds about right.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: And you know, the craziest thing is is like I
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: gave a really honest exitter review, and I was like, hey, like,
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: this is what happened to me. I don't think he's
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: fit to manage junior talent because you're going to see turnover.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: And they let him continue to manage junior talent, and
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: you know what happened. Nobody stayed for longer than two years.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: And I think that sends a message that even though
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: they knew that was the case, sometimes like they don't care.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: It's very interesting to me when companies don't believe their employees.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I think I don't want to like play into a
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: stereotype that I do think they are likely less likely
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: to believe women. But it's unbelievable because people are giving
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: you the information it's all right there, and they just
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: it's wild. Okay. So things start looking up for you
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: because you start making content and you talk about dating
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: in New York as it relates to your finances, and
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: this made me laugh so hard. So what experiences did
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: you have dating that made you realize that, like, most
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: people don't know anything about finance.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, So I went on the date with this guy
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: and he was this was my first mistake going on
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: dates with men exactly my age.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: No I'm joking, but like kind of not really, like.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Kind of not really yet not really.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: So this guy and I we were the same age,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: same graduation year.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: He had a job at a competing bank, so I
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: knew exactly how much money he was making because we
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: were in the same exact role. And I was living
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: in a six hundred square foot studio with my roommate,
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: so like two of us we would just like sit
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: up and look at each other, like there was no
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: wall between our beds, like it was basically a glorified
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: NYU dorm room.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: It's amazing.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: This guy, he was decked out to the nines, like
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: he had fancy Ferragamo loafers, he had like the Iermez tie,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: he had a role Rex Like he was just like
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: he was so fancy, and I was like ooh, like
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: he's like like you know, You're like it's it's appealing.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: You're like what, like what is this? How are you
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: affording this? But like also I'm kind of turned on,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: and I was just like so curious. But like he
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: had a nicer apartment than me, He had nicer stuff
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: than me, And I was like.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: How's that even possible?
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Like right, And I found out after a long night
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: of drinking that he told me he had five figure
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: credit card debt, And I almost pooped in my mouth
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: a little bit, because sure, I didn't have a rolex,
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: but I did not have any credit card debt because
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: I was living within my means.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: And it was.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Crazy to me because he actually came for money, generational wealth.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: His dad was a.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: CEO, and he was so bad with his money, like
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: so unbelievably bad. And when he told me that, I
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: was like, Oh, are you able to like return any
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: of this?
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Can you return the loafers in the ORMs? Bell?
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, can you like return any of this? And like,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: it was just crazy to me that someone who very
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: literally worked in high finance was working on billion dollar acquisitions,
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: was you know, in theory, well versed in how financial
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: markets and you know, balance sheets and cash flow statements
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: and income statements like work, like how they could not
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: mentally piece together their own personal finances, And it just
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: made it really clear that like people who don't work
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: in finance clearly don't know how finance works, but like
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: people who work in finance also don't know how their
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: own personal finances work either.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: You call them the brads and the chads. It's which
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: really made me laugh.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you know who I'm talking about. Like,
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: if you walk through Midtown in New York, it's the
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: same guy. They all wear that white button down their
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Patagonia vest, Like they have the same loafers. They're all
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: carrying a banker bag, and they're all just like they
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: just like think they're too cool for school.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: And yeah, you know, I think.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Those people who seemingly should be good with their money aren't.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Well you say that historically financial services have been male,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: pale and stale. Ya that things that these rich dads
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: have been teaching their rich sons on the golf court
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: is what their financial literacy is made up of. But
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: you say that someone can really inform themselves about financial literacy.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I think it's totally possible. We can learn anything. But
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: you call your three point five million followers me included
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: the leftovers, which is women, people of color, people in
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: marginalized communities, and you're giving us a whole different kind
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: of education.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, just like think about it, right, if
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: you close your eyes and you visualize the last person
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: you saw on CNBC, what did they look like? It
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: was a white guy, in a button down a white
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: button down shirt and a tie. And if you are
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: told every day, day in and day out, that that's
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: what a rich person, a smart person, a financially stable,
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: well off person, looks like you're going to start believing that.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: And I think it's.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: Crazy that an entire swath of the population, literally fifty
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: percent women, have been completely left behind. Not to mention
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: people of color, not to mention the LGBTQ community. It's like,
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: when are people going to start talking about our finances?
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: When are people going to talk about whether or not
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: it's an investment to buy a burkin? When are people
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: going to talk about, you know, what it costs to
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: buy a home as a black home owner, because unfortunately,
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: redlining still happens today. It's super illegal and super unfair,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: but it definitely happens. And when are we going to
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: start talking about surrogacy or adoption and what that costs
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: to become a parent if you are in an LGBTQ
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: relationship and you want to have a child in that way.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: And it's it's, you know, conversations that we never have
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: because everybody assumes that you have to be a brad er,
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: a chad to be good with money.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: So one of the pain points I have with financial
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: literacy is I think there's so much, for lack of
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: a better term, inspiration porn out there. Like people tell
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: you dream big, hustle, start a side hustle, but no
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: one really tells you how to get there. And that's
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: your expertise. So how do we get rich?
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I always say this is my proprietary method.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: If you want to be rich, you have to strip,
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: and then people are like, oh really, but not like that.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, if you want to be a
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: spicy accountant, certainly I think it is totally fine to do.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: But I really recommend people strip. So S stands for
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: savings three to six months of living expenses into a
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: high yield savings account. It is so important that it's
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: high yield. Regular savings accounts pay you nothing. You get
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: a couple pennies at the end of the year for
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: the pleasure of parking your money somewhere, when in reality
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: you should be getting interest because you are doing that
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: bank of favor by loaning them that money and so
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: that they can lend it out to other people. T
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: stands for total debt. I love doing this because I'm
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: an are, so I'm very impatient. Rank your debt from
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: highest to lowest interest rate and pay it down in
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: that order, because it'll help you pay the least interest
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: over time. We love saving money, and it helps you
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: pay off your debt in the fastest possible way, because
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: again impatient.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: And what is considered debt student loans, credit cards.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: Student loans, credit card, your mortgage, your card note, anything
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: even that I owe you you owe to your bestie,
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: like anything where you owe that is debt.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Our stands for retirement.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: It's really important for today us to take care of
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: future us, especially knowing that so many of us.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Work for other people.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: You can get a four oh and K or four
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: or three B or four five seven through your employer,
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: and a lot of the time when you put money
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: into safer retirement, you're employer will actually match that. So
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: there are very few opportunities in life where you can
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: get free money, but this is an opportunity to get that.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: So you put in a dollar, perhaps your employer matches
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: fifty cents, so suddenly your dollar is worth a dollar fifty.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: And if you're self employed, what's your suggestion.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're self employed, there are solo four oh
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: one ks. There are self employed iras, and again IRA
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: just stands for individual retirement account and you can open
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: one a regular IRA or a roth IRA depending on
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: how much money you make every year.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: And again these are just great ways to set money
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: aside for future.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: You awesome, that's and then we have I. Yes, so
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: this everybody really helps.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: It's good, right, Yeah.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: So the I is people think that they open a
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: four to one K, they open a roth iron and
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: they're like, I'm good, Like you're not good.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: You actually have to I buy investments.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: And I think people get really excited because like, okay,
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: like I'm gonna pick the best stocks, the best companies.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: It's like, bro, when I was on Walls Street that every.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Single week we would get a phone call being like,
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: well this hedge fund blew up or this you know
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: this shop is closing down because they made bad investment
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: decisions and you know their investors want their money back.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: And let me tell you do not have more resources
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: than these people. They have thousands of dollars worth of
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: technology that scans everything, the news, you know, the trading
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: markets that like print and show what people are trading.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: They just have this endless amount of time and energy
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: and technology at their fingertips. You're not going to be
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: able to learn more on Yahoo Finance than they do
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: off of their Bloomberg terminal. And I say this because
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: even those guys can't get it right right, So I
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: always recommend invest in ETFs and mutual funds that track
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: broader indices, which is just a plural for index, so
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: things like the S and P five hundred, the Dow Jones,
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: things that are break together correct, things that are grouped together,
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: because instead of buying one stock, which is one company,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: you can buy a bunch, and an ETF will likely
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: hold tiny little fractions of a bunch of these companies,
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: so if one company blows up or something bad happens,
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: it's not going to tank your entire portfolio.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: I think there's an idea specifically in America of like
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: getting rich quickly, and if you speak to wealthy people,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: most of them will tell you it's about consistency over time.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And so to your point, the ETFs and the mutual
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: funds are all kind of about the long game, it seems.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: And you know, listen, I totally agree right now, especially
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: everybody wants to get rich quick.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: But there's high risk and high reward.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Sure, maybe you could start the next meta and be
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: Mark Zuckerberg and be a gazillionaire, but the odds of
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: that happening are very very low. On the other hand,
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: if you want to almost essentially guarantee millionaire status by
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: the time you retire, you just need to invest.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: For the most.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: Part, anybody who is consistent and dedicated to that can
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: retire a millionaire. And it's really time in the market
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: that beats timing the market every single time.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Pee pee. This is the one everybody forgets. Plan. You
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: got to make a plan.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: You You do not get to have your happily ever after.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: You don't get to ride off into the sunset. If
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: you don't know what that looks like for you. For
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: some people, they're happily ever after is retiring at thirty
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: and they live in an airstream and they don't have shoes,
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: and they you know, traverse the Grand Canyon and that's
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: they're happily ever after. That's awesome if that's what it
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: is for you. I like shoes, though, and so I
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: don't want to live in an airstream and I want
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: to make sure that I am providing for my future kid.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: I want to be able to put them through school.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: I'd love to have a vacation home. And that's what
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: my happily ever after looks like. It's really easy to
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: just close your eyes, think about what would make you happy,
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: and visualize your happily ever after and then make a
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: plan to get there. Because if you don't know what
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: it is, you can't hit it.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: And if you don't know how to create that plan,
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: where can you look.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: I would say even just starting with the strip method
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: is so awesome. But resources that I love so so
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: much are Investipedia. One of the scariest things about finance
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: is the jargon, Like there's so many words. People just
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: say them and like sometimes people who don't know what
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: they mean also say them, and you're like, am I
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: the only idiot who doesn't know what this means? It's
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: literally Wikipedia for finance terms. Just check out a mesipedia.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: I think it's really really helpful. I would also say
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: start by talking to your friends about money. We've been
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: told from a very young age to your point from
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: earlier like it's a little awkward to talk about money.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: You can probably tell me the last three people your
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: best friend has slept with, But you can't tell me
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: how much your best friend makes, don't we think that's
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: a little weird that we can talk about private parts
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: but we can't talk about pay. I just think.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: You're making me think of something too. It's like I've
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: always felt like the shows we watch, the things we read,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: they all inform what we're thinking about, and so if
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: we're just not thinking about money, we're not thinking about it.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: I know that sounds very basic, but you're right, like,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: instead of talking about scandaval on vander pump rules, talk
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: about money a little bit.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I think popular culture and media though, are.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Starting to like almost turn because you'll see things like
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: scand of all, and then you'll see articles that come
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: out saying things like, you know, Arionomatics is making big
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: like off of the tales of this like horrible tragic
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: thing that happened in her life. Yeah, certainly I would
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: not wish being cheated on by your partner of almost
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: of a decade on anybody. But I will say being
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: able to pen these incredible brand partnerships where she gets
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: to make light of the situation, gets to cash what
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: I'm considering probably multiple six maybe seven figure checks that
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: deafens the wound a little bit and it makes it
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: a lot easier to stomach, and you know, more power
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: to her. I hope she gets as much cash from
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: this as possible, Like that's a horrible thing to happen,
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: but we got to talk about the finances of it
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: as well.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I think you're right, and it's a great point. It's
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: very cool that two years ago those kind of articles
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: probably wouldn't be coming out. So everybody's saying we're headed
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: into a recession now, But recession or not, I think
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: a pain point for a lot of millennials is like,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: there is not that much extra income coming in. So
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: if you don't have a ton of extra income to
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: save for retirement, to put in a roth ira, how
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: do you suggest people set themselves up for long term success?
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: So I think a really scary stat that I recently
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: read was that nearly I think it was like fifty
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: percent of people who make over one hundred thousand dollars
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: a year are currently living paycheck to paycheck.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I just read that on lves too. I was actually
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: going to ask you about it.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: I could not believe that because I would say, here's
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: a couple things that we need to think about the
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: people who are living paycheck to paycheck and making over
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: one hundred thousand dollars. Odds are very good that they
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: have those high paying jobs because they live in these
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: major metros. And as you mentioned, the cost of living
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: is just going up, up up, up up up up.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: And there's two.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: Things that we can address as people who have control
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: of our lives that are going to help us in
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: these situations. And again I recognize that like if you
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: are living paycheck to paycheck and you are more concerned
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: about putting food on the table, like sometimes this information
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: can feel a little tone deaf, I want that to
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: be acknowledged. Yeah, but I do think that one thing
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: we can all certainly recognize is that putting yourself in
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: an uncomfortable position for a short term period of time
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: could also potentially help you out financially for the long haul.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: So the two things being one cutting back, but not
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: in the way that people talk about. Like I think
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: we hear headlines like.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Millennials love avocado toast a lot.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: It's like, okay, Like that's not what I'm saying. What
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: I'm saying is that when you are shopping for groceries,
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: making really thoughtful meal prep plans ahead of time, so
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: you're not buying stuff that goes bad in your fridge.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: It's talking about, hey, maybe pricing out what a cost
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: co membership would look like so that you can save
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: money buying a bulk.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: So you're saying, like, maybe little adjustments, maybe even getting
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: a roommate.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Exactly these little adjustments and making sure that you are
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: making the most of your money. Because to your point,
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: there are economies of scale, and that's no better shown
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: than in New York City. It's very expensive for one
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: person to get a one bedroom apartment, but a ten
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: thousand dollars five bedroom apartment in you know wherever on
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: the East Side, like that actually works out to be
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: a lot cheaper than a one bed that might be
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: shittier because guess what, even with your four roommates, you
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: only need one kitchen, and so you don't have to
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: pay for five kitchens. So it's just a really great
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: way to save money in that way. I would also
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: say one thing that we don't focus on nearly enough
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: is you can only save and invest as much as
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: you earn. You can always make more money, and the
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: easiest way to make a surplus is not by cutting
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: and scrimping and saving. It's by literally just making more money.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: And I know that sounds so silly, but I need
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: every single person listening right now to ask for a
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: raise every damn year, because if you're not asking for
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: a raise, somebody else is, and somebody else is getting
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: paid and you're not. And I don't mean that wimpy
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: two to three percent inflation raise. I mean you need
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: to ask for ten percent fifteen percent every single year.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: And if your employer is not willing, what are your thoughts.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: I think you should ask every single year. Certainly you
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: won't get ten to fifteen percent every single year. However,
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: if you are at a company for your current role
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: for two years, yeah, you don't get promoted and you.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Don't get paid, you need to leave.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: It's very much in my mentality called the up or
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: out in two years. You need to be promoted and
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: given a raise every two years, or we're out.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: Up or out.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: You either go up or you have to leave every
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: two years. Because there is a study that has shown
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: that if you are at a company for two years
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: or more and you are not getting at race, you
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: are going to make significantly less over your lifetime.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: And I'm not about that.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: This is just my own experience, But tell me what
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: you think. I also feel like when I've been in
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: positions where I'm not being paid, what I think is
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: at least fair.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: It.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Money is a valuation, and so it actually shows up
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: in a lot of different areas of respect amongst your workplace.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: So the up and out is not just about making money.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It's about like how you're being treated at work too.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: And I think unfortunately a lot of us tie our
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: self worth to what we do for a living.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's because you're in aries and I'm a Capricorn,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: so we really do. Yeah, so we're like free, it's
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: our whole identity.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's literally like my job is my entire personality.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: But I will say that, like if your company shows
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: you every single year with that raise, that they're like,
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: we cannot afford to lose you. We love you. You're
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: going to go into work just more excited to do
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: your job. Like I can't remember what his name was,
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: but the CEO of Gravity Payments basically cut his own
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: salary down to eighty thousand dollars a year and paid
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: everyone up even during a tough financial time, and you
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: know what his turnover rate was like nearly zero. Nobody left,
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: nobody quit on him, even when things got bad, even
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: when they had to work harder, even when they had
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: to work longer hours.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: They were like WHOA, Like, this is truly what we
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: have asked.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: For day in and day out, is for a manager
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: who respects us to get paid our worth. And you know,
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: when you have that type of loyalty and that type
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: of respect, you're just going to have a better working environment.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: What are some of the mistakes you see millennials in
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: particular making with money.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, I think the keeping up with the Joneses has
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: gone so insane these days. Back in our parents' era, right,
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: they would like take their little binoculars and they'd look
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: across the hall, or like look across the street, and
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: they would look at the Joneses and they'd be like, Oh,
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: the Joneses have a new lawnmower, they have a new car.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: I see a box for a flat screen TV, right,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: And you compare yourself to that one other family or
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: that one other person. Now the Joneses are actually keeping
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: up with the Kardashians. And you're on your phone and
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: you look at every single one of your friends is
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: highlight reels, and then to make matters even worse, you're looking.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: At, oh my god, everybody I know is an Meekonosi
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: this weekend?
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Where how are they all going there?
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: How are they all at Scorpio at the same time.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: But it's crazy because you're watching your friends as highlight reels,
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: so you're not even just comparing to one other friend.
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: You think your friend is going on vacation every single week,
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: because a different friend is going on vacation every single week.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: And so it's this outsized feeling.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Correct like you're just one person, but like you're comparing
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: to this massive group of people. And to make matters
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: worth obviously, they're comparing themselves to celebrities who have, you know,
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: demonstrated wealth, like the Kardashians, like people who have money
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: for private jets and private island getaways.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: And it's not a fair comparison. It's not normal.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: The one thing I see getting better is I think
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: our age group was very into like it was Instagram right,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: so it was like we had to have a new
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: outfit all the time. And gen Z really is doing
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: way better with that. But I realized something the other
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: day because my dad broke his sunglasses and he was like,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't know where to get that. I
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: have to go get these fixed. And I thought to myself,
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: if I break my sunglasses, I think, oh, I have
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: to go get a new pair. And that ideology between
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: our generations stands for so much. Yeah, it's very interesting.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I mean even just like the divorce rate.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Right, like we talk about like, oh, do you fix
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: the old lamp and get a new light bulb or
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: do you just buy a new lamp?
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, I have some sort of unorthodox questions about money.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: So I saw a TikTok video the other day and
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: it was a parody video about how much money it
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: costs to be a hot girl. And she was kidding,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: but she started listing off all the things that she
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: pays for, which are haircuts, hair color, botox, facials, nails,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: like all the things, right, And I was sitting there laughing,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: but I was thinking to myself, this is actually real.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: So one, what are your thoughts on this? And two
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: does that come into play when you show up for
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: a date. I have a lot of friends who talk
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: about like it cost me x amount of money to
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: show up for this dinner, so he should pay for
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: this dinner. I don't necessarily agree, but I want to
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: know your thoughts.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, yes, So statistically, speaking off of this data point,
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: women will actually spend about a quarter of a million dollars.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: The average woman will spend a quarter of a million
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: dollars on upkeep throughout her lifetime. And that is the
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: tuition to go to Harvard. You can buy a house with.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: That money, Vivian, say that again, the average.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: Woman spends about a quarter of a million dollars on
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: upkeep in her lifetime. That's not to say, like, oh,
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: how do you put that money and invested it? It would
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: be worth even more, just straight up the dollar amount.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: I know, it's terrifying.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: You're right, it's the tuition for Harvard. It's a down
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: payment on a house, on a really nice house. Oh
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: my goodness. Yeah.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: And I think a lot of it comes from again
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: back to that point of like keeping up with the Joneses, Like,
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: I think our generation and the generation after ours has
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: done a better job of trying to be a little
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: bit more realistic and being like, you know, I see
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: some of these influencers. Now, you know one that I
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: love is Victoria Paris, and she's like, you guys think
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: I'm so pretty. Botox, teeth are white, and I got
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: my lips done, I got a chin thing done. Like
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: she points out like all the things that she had done,
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: and she's like, I don't wake up and look like this,
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: like I spent thousands of dollars on this, Like all
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: of it's fake. And I think that's something the younger
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: generation is so amazing about being honest.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: It's like you're not ugly, you're just poor.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Like that hasn't changed the fundamental issue, which is beauty
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: is currency for women and finance is currency for men.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: Correct, Like, it's no surprise prettier women get further in
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: their careers. Men with more money have more dating opportunities.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I have a question though, because I think
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: that there's an inflection point there specifically with women that
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: if they're very pretty, it actually hinders them.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: If you're like too pretty or too hot, it's almost
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: like people just assume that you're stupid. It's very expensive
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: to be a modern woman. And so I totally understand
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: where your friends are coming from, where they're like, I
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: just spent one hundred and eighty dollars to even just
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: show up for this date and like look presentable.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: The guy should pay. I am very much.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: Of the camp that whoever invites should pay. If you
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: invite me on a date, you should pick up the tab.
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: If I invite you on a date, I'll pick up
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: the tab because.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: It's just courtesy.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: It's common courtesy, Like that person did not ask you,
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: like you want to do this with them, and they
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: have obliged, so you should cover the check.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I also still don't know where I stand on this,
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: but I used to feel like, okay, is it transactional, right,
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Like if the man pays, what's my like? Am I
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: expected to kiss him? Am? I?
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: What is? What is the expectation? And as I've gotten older,
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I think I've gotten over that a little bit, but
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: I still feel I kind of like paying my way
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: to be honest.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: I mean when I was dating in my early twenties,
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: if I was like not vibing, I would one hundred
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: percent pick up the check, like I would go fifty
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: to fifty at least, and I would just be like,
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: just get me out of here, like I don't.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: Whereas like if I like someone and they offered to
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: pick up the check, I'd be like, oh, that's a plus,
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: that's nice, you know.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: But I hear you.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: It does in some ways feel very transactional and as again,
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: I think this just comes with like wisdom and age
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: and like getting to the point of like like giving
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: less fucks. But now I'm like, yeah, you can pick
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: up a tab. It doesn't mean I have to go
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: home with you. It doesn't mean like anything. And I
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: tell that to all my girlfriends. When you know, me
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: and my fiance first started dating, he picked up you know,
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: the first few meals. But when it became clear that
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: we were going to be more serious and that we
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: were going to be going out to dinner more together
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: and spending more time together and doing things together, like,
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: I certainly offered to pick up the tab more frequently
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: because I recognize that, like, he was only a year
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: older than me. He you know, we weren't making crazy
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: money at the time, and I didn't want him to
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: be in a bad financial position just because he was
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: dating me.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, It's there's like a teammate mentality there.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's only after you decide you actually like
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: like that person and want to.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: Like, spend more time with him.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: So you talk a lot on your Instagram about dating
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: financially unstable people, and you said sex and money are
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: two of the top reasons that people fight. So if
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: you are dating somebody, or say you go on a
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: few dates and you're like, Wow, I really like this
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: guy and he's financially unstable, maybe even it's financially irresponsible,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: what are your thoughts?
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we have to define what it means
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: to be financially unstable first.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: Because people always assume that just like it's just me
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: being like you should only day rich people.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying at all.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: What I'm saying is that it is okay to date
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: someone with student debt, but do they have a plan
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: to pay that student debt off. It's okay to date
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: someone who is getting on their feet and isn't making
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: that much money yet, but do they have aspirations to
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: get to a point where their finances are in a
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: good spot, where their income covers their expenses and then
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: some and they can set money aside. I think people
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: often take it the wrong way because there's such a
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: mentality of like, anybody who wants a financially stable partner
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: is a gold digger. That's not what I'm saying. I'm
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: saying I don't want someone to hold me back. If
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: I can afford something and we decide we want to
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: buy a home together, but your credits or is literally
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: six hundred or five hundred, Like we're not going to
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: get a good rate on this mortgage. I can't have
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: someone holding me back. So I always say, date someone
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: who is financially stable, has a plan to improve their finances,
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: is you know, dedicated to being good with their money,
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: because it's no longer cute to be like it like
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: shopping spy, Like I'm that with my money. It's not
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: cute anymore. Like we have to be responsible in this
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: way because it's getting harder.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Do you considered it similar to like health goals? Right,
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: Like it's sort of like are you both aligned in
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: terms of where you want your health to me, how
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: you eat, how you work out, et cetera.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: I think it has to do with everything in the
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: same way that like you would never seriously date someone
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: who had a very different plan for their life. As
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: I mentioned the airstream versus the two homes, like those
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: two people should not get married. Someone who wants to
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: have seven kids and someone who wants no kids should
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: not get married.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: So how do you think of having those conversations? Because
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: you're such a beautiful communicator, how do you even broach
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: that topic with somebody?
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, people ask me this all the time, and I
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: love it because I'm not saying go on to your
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: first day and be like bring a pay stub, like
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: that's crazy.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: What's your credit score?
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Like that is going to scare all of your days away.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: But I think it's important to ask questions about and
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: tangential to money.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: So if it's like if.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: You could take a vacation anywhere for seven days, what
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: would you do? That tells you a lot about what
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: someone values and what they want to do with their
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: life and their money. You know, what is your dream job?
• 48:46
  Speaker 3: That's going to tell you what someone would do if
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: money was not a factor? Or I typically phrase it
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: as like, oh, what job would you have like if
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: money wasn't a factor? And it tells you a lot
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: about what someone values.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: And because it's their real like on the insight, yes.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's like what would you really do? Your true thought?
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: Like I tell people, I'm like when I quote unquote retire.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: I'd love to become a social worker when money does
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: not matter, when I am not trying to save up
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: money for a future kid, when I don't want to
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: buy that second home I've got the second home. Like
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: I'm I would love to be a social worker. It's
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: such a thankless job, but it's so important. So I
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: think it tells you a lot.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I moved in with a guy one time, like
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: years ago, probably four or five years ago, and I
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: had just quit my job. He made way more money
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: than me, Like we are not on the same financial plane,
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: and he was like, I got it, don't worry, We'll
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: figure it out once you move, like to La. I
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: moved back from Chicago to La. So I move into
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: this apartment that I could have never afforded to this day,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: it's the nicest place I've ever lived. And I like
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: walked in. I was like, we can live here, Like what?
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: So four months later he dumps me, we break up,
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: and and I say this all to say, during those
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: four months, I felt the most uncomfortable I had ever
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: felt in my life. I felt so indebted. I felt
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: like I had to do all the dishes I had
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: to do all the laundry, and that's first of all,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: not fair. Like if anybody wants to read fair Play
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: by Eve Rodsky, you can really understand why that's not fair.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: But I said to myself, I will never move in
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: with another man and not pay my portion of the rent,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Like we need to move into a place that we
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: can both afford, or we're I'm not doing that ever. Again,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on splitting rent?
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: I agree?
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: I will say in your situation where you had just
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: left a job and it felt very much like a
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: short term, like, I will help you out while you
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: find new employment, Like I think that's okay. Like if
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: you know you care about someone, that's okay. But what
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: I really recommend for couples is not being equal, but
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: really striving for equity in that if you have a
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: partner who makes significantly more than the other, this person
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: making significantly less should pay a portion of the rent
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: that is proportionate to their income.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Ooh, so thinking of it as a percentage.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: So think about like this, say you make two hundred
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: thousand dollars a year and I make one hundred thousand
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: dollars a year, okay, and we move into an apartment
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: that costs three thousand dollars a month, I would hope
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: that you would cover two thousand. Well, I could cover
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: one thousand dollars every single month, just for you know,
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: easy numbers, because that is the same proportion of your
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: income as it is mine.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: I love this idea for everything that's fantastic.
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: That way, nobody feels indebted to the other, you know.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: And I've had this conversation myself with my fiance because
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: when we moved into our first apartment together, he was
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: making a lot more money than I was, and I
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: told him. I was like, I don't really feel comfortable
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: moving into this apartment, Like I'm not comfortable paying more
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: than this amount in rent, and I don't want to
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: like upset you, but like, I know you really like
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: this place, and I just don't see how I'm gonna
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: be able to swing this. And he was the one
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: who brought up this setup, and he was like, well,
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: since I make more money, like, why don't I just
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: pay a little bit more rent?
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: And it's fine.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: I love this idea. It's almost like if you think
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: about it with roommates in your twenties, like if a
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: person has the better parking spot and bigger room, they
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: pay a little bit more. Yes, exactly that Vivian. That's
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: so brilliant. I love this. Do you think in sort
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: of like successful financial partnerships, do you see people doing
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: it a certain way? Like do they have their own
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: bank accounts and then a shared account? What's a model
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: that you like?
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah? So again, personal finance is personal. I have heard.
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: Everything and everything in between work. So there are some
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: people who are like, no, we have one bank account.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: We put all our money in it. We draw from
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: this bank account.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: It's just the two of us.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: There are couples that are like, we don't even have
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: a single joint account. I have mine, they have theirs.
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: My fiance and I do what I would say more
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: couples do. I don't want to say most, but we
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: have a yours mind in our system. So he has money,
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: I have money, and we have joint accounts for paying
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: for things like our mortgage, for our groceries.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: For stuff that we do together, for date night, stuff
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: And that works really nicely for us because I am
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: very much of the camp that every woman should have
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: her own money, and I like having mine and I
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: love to be able to go get my eyelashes done
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: and go buy myself a nice lunch and not feel
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: bad about it because that's my money, right. And I
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: also love that he has his own money so that
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: if he wants to go golfing or you know, get
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: a haircut, or have drinks with the boys, like, it's fine,
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: it's his money, have fun.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: How does it work you have kids, If that's something
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: you're wanting, it.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: Would just be it would be the same setup.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: However, all of our kids' expenses would come out of
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: the joint account, so we would just have to put
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: more money into that account. And maybe that does mean
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: both of us have to scale back on our personal spending.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: But you know, hopefully if we.
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: Have a kid, that little bundle of joy will just
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: you know, be a priority for us.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: That's really cool. So you mentioned earlier in our conversation
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: burken bags, and I think that it's like it's it's something.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: The way I feel about pop culture is like, I'm
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: not really obsessed with what Kim Kardashian is wearing or saying.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with like the socio political issues that we
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: can draw from the Kardashians. And I feel that way
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: with luxury items and finance, because I know you're a
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: stat's person. So the average woman has thirteen purses and
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: she buys three a year. So one in ten women's hye,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: very high. Three a year is a lot.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: That's a lot.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: So they say one in ten women spend more than
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: one thousand dollars on their purses in the year, but
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: the average price is one hundred and sixty dollars. Okay,
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: So we constantly hear about, like on Instagram, not constantly
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: here in life, but on Instagram, we hear about women
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: quote unquote investing in burkins. I personally have always lived
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: by the idea that like money looks better in your
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: bank account than on your feet or on your wrist.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: But that's not to say that's the right way. What
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: are your thoughts with women buying luxury items, because it
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: is very disproportionate to men buying luxury items in America.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: It's not that's the lie that we've been fed that
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: you're kidding us. Girly girls love to splend. We love
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: the splurge. We love to buy luxury items. Think about
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: the dumb shit men buy.
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: They love me like they love buying fancy watches. They
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: will buy these fancy belts, these fancy shoes, these you know,
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: you don't think that they cost a lot. But like
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: when we buy a bag, and I'm talking a luxury bag,
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: you're looking at something and not a Burgin, but like
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: a luxury bag, you're looking at something between two to
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: five thousand dollars.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: Yep, the entry level rolex is like six to eight thousand, right.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Or like a golf course, like a membership to a
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: golf course for the year.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: A membership to the golf course is literally probably two
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: or three times what a Soho house membership is. And
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: on top of that, you have to pay every single
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: time you play, You have to tip the caddy, you
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: have to do all these things, and it's very expensive.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: And then we catch fleck for wanting a new outfit.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: But it's like every single time the new iPhone comes out,
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: who's at the front of the line literally jonesing to
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: get the new phone. Who wants the new watch, the
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: Apple Watch, who wants to get the you know, the
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: new headphones? Like they spend just as much as we do,
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: but we just get more shit for it.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so funny.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: What I will say is is like I think investing
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: in luxury, like truly investing is something that you should
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: really wait until you.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: Are frankly like quite wealthy.
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: Buying luxury is something that you can do at any
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: stage in your life, as long as you budget for it.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: And I think it's okay to treat yourself. I certainly
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: did when I was young, like in my early twenties.
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: Like the first thing that I bought with like my
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: Big Girl part of my Big Girl bonus was a
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: black prod Of bag because I was like, oh, I
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: deserve this is like blood, sweat, tears, money. And I
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: will say that, like, if you really want to invest,
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: it's still better to invest in a diversified portfolio of
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: index funds than it is to buy and bet on
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: one bag or one watch or one anything just because.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: You don't know where the pricing for that is going.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a good example, like that Cardier Lovelock bracelet
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: that people have. Those went down in value significantly and
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: people never thought that would happen, So it's.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: Not worth the weight in gold. Literally.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, I have some rapid fires for you.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: Let's do it.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: The weirdest job you've ever done for money.
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: Weirdest job Oh my god, my freshman summer when I
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: was literally nineteen, I was like a club promoter.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: You're kidding.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: I literally was the person standing next to the bouncer
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: like putting wristbands on people.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: That's amazing. I would have never expected that from you.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. That actually says so much about your hustle.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: I have a very in depth story about this in
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: my book that's coming out later this year because this
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: was such a formative job. It was like my first
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: real job in college and it was like the most
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: insane one.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: When does the book come out.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: The book officially releases December twenty sixth of this year.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: So basically, after you have all of your holidays, you
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: can do a financial detox with me get your money right,
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: you know, very much, New Year, New Me.
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: But it's available for pre order now.
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: So it's titled Rich af by the VN two aka
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: your Rich BFF, and it's basically the winning money mindset
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: that'll change your life.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: I love that. So okay on Instagram and TikTok, you
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: do a series that I love that's called Overhyped Overpriced.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: What is the most worth it product that you've bought?
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: Good betting, good betting, good betting, which in a comforter instead?
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: What did you buy that you.
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: Loved so I am crazy? I use a thousand thread
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: count sheets and silk pillowcases. And the way I see it,
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: you spend a third of your life asleep, and ostensibly
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: you're in your bed and you can cheap out on
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: the bed frame, you can cheap out on the nightstand,
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: don't cheap out on the mattress, don't cheap out on
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: the bedding, don't cheap out on the pillows, because that
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: is going to impact your sleep, and your sleep impacts
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: everything about your life.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: What to do if you get told that there's no
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: room for negotiation when you go into negotiate.
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: I would ask is there anything that I would be
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: able to do in the future to make your end
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: because you're probably talking your manager your end of this
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: negotiation easier. And if it's if there's no room in
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: the budget right now, do you know when there will be.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: That's a great question because you're going to get the,
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: like you said, the inside answer, the real answer that
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: they have any plan for you. Yeah, okay, I know
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: you love to travel. What is something that you have
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: done to make traveling easier for you.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, I bring eebag jellies like for your under eyes
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: on planes because I find that when I travel, I
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: always have the air vent on otherwise I get too hot.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: But it really dries out your skin and then it
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: makes you more prone.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: To like sunburn. It's just like it's like horrible.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: So I always bring jellies or a face mask and
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: it can turn any economy experience into a first class flight.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: That's fantastic. What's a book you read that changed your life?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: Something you think everybody should read?
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: Ooh, can I give you an old one and a
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: new one?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: So I really do love Richest Man in Babylon because
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: it basically teaches financial concepts in like a very silly
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: way of pertaining to ancient Babylon, talking about, you know,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: buying donkeys instead of dumb stuff, and how negotiations work
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: like the bas are instead of like you know, what
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: you would think about now. But recently, a book that
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: I am very very into, and I'm only like a
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: chapter or so in is The Shift by Tanks. She
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: basically talks about how you should shift your mindset and
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: perception and how you handle situations in your life. Versus
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: feeling like you need to fit into a mold of
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: what everybody else is doing, or like how others perceive you.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: And I think it would have been a really helpful
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: book for me to have read in my teens or
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: in my early twenties, because it's just so positive in
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: terms of like building.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: Up your own self worth and self confidence.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: That's nice. So I do a pretty smart question, tell
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: me when to stop?
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: Everybody always gets the one they're supposed to. It's wild. Okay,
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: what is your earliest memory or example of success and
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: how did it impact you?
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: In the fifth grade, we were doing a poetry like
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: session or segment, I guess, in our English classes, and
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: we all wrote poems and then the class would vote
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: on the two best ones and then those would be
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: submitted to potentially be published. My poem was published in
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: the fifth grade. And that's not even the cool part.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: The cool part was the local newspaper came to our
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: school to take a photo of me and my fifth
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: grade teacher, and I think my mom still has like
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: the newspaper clipping to this day. I just remember her
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: feeling like so proud. They put it on our fridge
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: and I saw the way that it made like her feel,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: and to me, it was just like, oh, like I
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 3: love being right getting an A on an assignment. I
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: was like such a little goodie two shoes, But you know,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: I love that feeling of like pride for her but
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 3: also pride in myself.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: That's a really great story. Yeah, what is the smartest
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: decision you've ever made?
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: Curveball, I would say choosing the right partner.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: So when I was dating, there were tons of like
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: really awesome guys, Like I was lucky, Like I had
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: dated some really nice guys, and I was like, you
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: are going to make someone very very happy one day,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: but they didn't necessarily challenge me in that way. I
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: wanted someone who wasn't just going to agree with everything
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: I said, who was going to push back, who was
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 3: going to be like a partner and like really be
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: my equal and think deeply about me and our life.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm so lucky my fiance does that. He's kind,
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: he's caring, he's generous, he's all these great things. But
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: even more importantly, he's the first person to call me
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: out of my bullshit. And I think having someone in
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: your life that supports you or knows you even better
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: than you know yourself. Is so so important because if
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: you have a partner who needs to dim your shine
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: to feel good about themselves, you're never going to get
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: anywhere with that extra baggage. You want someone who's going
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: to be your number one cheerleader and who pounds the
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: table for you to get what you deserve.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like he sees you the way you
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: see you?
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: He sees me the way I want to be seen.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing. I want to thank the people that
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: make the show possible. Colleen O'Neil, Jill Salama, Karrie o'keef,
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: and Phil Speed Tech. Okay, you know what time it is.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: Today's a good day to have a good day. I'll
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: see you next week. The Dog Shop Shop Shop f