Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 4. The Best Friend's Wedding & Ezio Auditore vs. Arya Stark

Transcript

Episode 4. The Best Friend's Wedding & Ezio Auditore vs. Arya Stark · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how I got my robot arm.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_06: Welcome to High Enjoy, everybody.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_06: I'm Ryan Barron North.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_06: Um, with me as always is our resident cannabis enthusiast and former camp counselor, James Crosslin.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: It is true that I was a camp counselor at one time.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was it was fun.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: I enjoyed it.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_06: Well, good.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_06: Well, well, thank you everyone for joining us.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_06: Uh we see that uh Atlanta, we got some viewers from you guys.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_06: Thanks for coming out in droves as we uh work through the kinks of this thing.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_06: We appreciate you guys.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Atlanta, vibrant delta hub.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: I love your city.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: On my honeymoon, we had a layover in Atlanta and we got really high and watched your whale sharks at your aquarium.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was a blast.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Whale sharks on like in in Georgia.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was one of the best things.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was so great.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: We love your city.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_06: Thanks, Georgia.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_06: Uh, so let's get right into it.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_06: James, what are you smoking today?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: I am smoking a concentrate called energy.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, like E-N-R-G.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, E-N-E-R-G-Y from Canovative.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so hopefully that goes well.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, I'll be super hyped today.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get it on.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And what are you uh what are you drinking, Ryan?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna still be working on this same bottle of Captain Morgan Black Spice Drum.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, for a writer, you don't drink as much as I would have expected.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_06: I drink other things.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_06: All right.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_06: So let's do it.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_06: Let's do this.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_06: All right, first shot.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_06: Here we go.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_06: Here we go.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_06: Little pour right there.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_06: Doesn't get goddamn.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, there's one.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: Drinking in the afternoon.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, that was a big hit.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why doesn't it get easier?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like you see, it's poison.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_06: You see like TV shows and movies where that gruff main character just drinks it like water.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_06: I call bullshit.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like uh it's a chemical irritant for the inside of your body.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_06: I've I've been I've been drinking as long as I've been living.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_06: And I call bullshit.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_06: I call bullshit.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_06: All right, here's round two.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think those grizzled characters, uh it's like their their lack of reaction to alcohol is like, oh, they're so tough, you know?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it is.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, but they're trying to they're trying to put that toughness out there to mask their own insecurities.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: But you are an open man, you know?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, no, and I'm I'm willing to admit that uh drinking just Captain Morgan black spice black spice rum unless it's a response.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_06: And this third shot is I'm already dreading.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_06: Do it anyway.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_06: You're doing it for the listeners.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_06: You're doing it for Atlanta.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_06: This one's for you, Atlanta.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_06: Captain Morgan Black Spice Rum.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_06: I'm already dreading the third shot.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: We'll have to come up with a cocktail for around Christmas time or or or Thanksgiving with that spiciness.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Save a little bit.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, oh no, I got I still have uh another bottle.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, great.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_06: All right, here we go.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_06: Round three.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_06: This one's for you, Atlanta.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, took it down.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: That one wasn't as big.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna take a little extra.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, you do you.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_06: Can uh can rum go bad just chilling on your counter with the lid off?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, maybe.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody who's anybody who's a health official or like FDA or anything like that.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead, give us a call.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, get us on get us on Instagram, high and dry podcast, high dry with high and dry podcast.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let us know.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, get on the horn.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let us know uh if I'm uh poisoning myself.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm at the dabolical on Twitter.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Just let me know.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so all right, how you feeling?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um feeling pretty good.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think energy was a good description.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna take a little more.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh please.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Please.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Happy Veterans Day.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, for those of you out there who have served.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is recorded on Veterans Day.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Way to go.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Way to go coming back.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, good job.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: You nailed it.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: You got it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_06: All right, so here we go.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_06: So, first, so high and dry.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_06: For those of you who are listening, Virginia, Georgia.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_06: Friends and family, friends, family, Virginia, Georgia.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_06: Um, I saw Puerto Rico the other day.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_06: France.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_06: And France, yeah, France.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_06: Philippines.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: We're getting out of here.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_06: Thank you all.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_06: We appreciate it.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_06: So for those of you who don't know, high and dry, we start off the first half by discussing some sort of moral quandary.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_06: And then the second half we move into our verses match.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_06: This week we have uh we have a fun versus match for you.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_06: I think you're all gonna enjoy it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but first, the quandary.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_06: So, James, are you familiar with your best friend's wedding?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've had best friends and they've had weddings.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't know of this particular dilemma.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_06: So the dilemma, and I think Wait, the movie?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_06: I haven't seen that either.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so the dilemma.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_06: It's it should be pretty easy for us to kind of really think about here.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so you're at your best friend's wedding, as the name implies.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_06: Just an hour before things are about to go down, you're about to everyone everyone is about to say their I do's.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_06: You receive definitive proof that your best friend's spouse is having an affair with the maid of honor or best man.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_06: Just someone.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_06: Just someone.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_06: And you catch them sneaking out of the room together.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_06: So they're, you know, straightening up clothes and everything like that, fixing hair.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you can A tell your friend about the affair, ruin the day, or B, let them marry a cheater.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_06: What do you do?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_06: So they got friends, family, everyone's gathered around.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_06: We're both familiar with.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: They probably spent a lot of money to be there.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_06: And we're both familiar with weddings.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_06: We both had them.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: I remember what my wedding was like.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh people want to have a good time, and that's good.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, you gotta try to deliver that good time.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: But on the same note, I have a problem with keeping quiet during this situation.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, it's you don't want to ruin their day.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's so so do I have so I have definitive proof.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I have received definitive proof.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you you know can I can I show the other person?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Is there some kind of physical evidence?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_06: I mean is is so you have definitive proof.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_06: So like there's no there's no disputing the fact in my mind or in the other person's?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um in just in actuality.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: So so like so I saw them, do I have pictures of them like together?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: We can say you have pictures.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's definitive.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you have then yeah, then you you have video.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Video?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: If I have video, then I'm going straight to the person because to the person doing the cheating.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, you're going to the best friend.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to my best friend, and I'm gonna be like, hey man.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or woman or other.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: I would uh I would like to show you some really terrible stuff so you don't make a big mistake today.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um because sure, you some people will say let them have their party, don't embarrass them in public, you know, their whole family's out there.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: But guess what?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're gonna fucking get divorced.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: The divorce is about to happen.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they're just they're instead of being the person who found out they were cheated on on their wedding day, which is an incredibly sympathetic position where you know people will only want to support you in that situation.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of that, if you keep quiet, basically they're getting the they got married and then realized they hated each other and then got divorced, and then you become that person who is like uh who makes bad decisions.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm kind of protecting my friend's reputation in this situation, or even if it was the other way around, you know.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I would want to protect the person's reputation in in by telling the truth.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_06: So I mean, I'm in the same, like I'm not as like I'm not thinking about reputation at that point.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_06: I'm just thinking, like, this is my best friend about to go up there and he's getting done pretty dirty right now.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_06: I I wouldn't see my my only concern would be as the messenger getting shot.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, well, but but at this either way, no matter what, I'm gonna go over there and be like, you gotta see this video.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_06: I was in the corner and I had my camera on me.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_06: Ignore the noises.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_06: Those aren't ignore the noises, the full-on eye contact that everyone was making with me.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_06: Ignore all that.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_06: Just know that I'm looking out for you, meme.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I would say I'm lucky because I usually pick friends that aren't gonna the kind of people I choose to surround myself with are not people who would shoot the messenger.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: No, I agree.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I choose those people on purpose because they're they're even-headed.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_06: No, and I uh so I feel like if if you or I were to come to the other one during that situation, I like I know that I could rely, like if you came to me with this video of you spanking it to uh my soon-to-be wife and some strange man um or woman.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_06: Um I would uh you're a little late.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_06: You should have stepped out of the video.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_06: But um, but I I would but uh you're filming yourself too.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you keep looking at the camera, you just have that awestruck face gone.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_04: World Star.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_06: Um but yeah, I mean, uh, but no, I would I would know that uh you know you weren't the one who did it to me.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_06: And I know at the end like tonight it's gonna be you and me hanging out on my what was supposed to be the wedding night.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_06: So, you know, um I'd for I'd appreciate you coming to me and I would definitely come to you in that same situation.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if it's you, no, I'd totally hide it from you.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'd let you make that giant mistake.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_06: Just laughing the whole time.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just like, oh, this is dumb motherfucker.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is so hilarious.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_06: I would wait for the uh I would wait for the toast.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_04: In the middle of the toast.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_04: Don't raise your glasses just yet.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_06: I have video evidence, and then my guys get the PowerPoint rolling.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_06: The projector gone.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_06: So um I feel we're on the both on the same page on this one.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_06: We tackled it pretty fast.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I can see the but I can see the other perspective because I know there's people out there who are going to feel differently.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that it's important to say that uh you're not a terrible person if you choose the other thing.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're just thinking about it from a very different perspective.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and it's I think it's each person's choice on how they'd approach it.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't think there's the right answer, I would say, for my belief system is to always move toward truth.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_06: Well, and I feel in this one, it's what would the person who is being cheated on want.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I guess I kinda I guess I also surround myself with people who uh who would want to know.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because some people that's not the same for everybody.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_06: No, I some people wouldn't want to know.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no, I've met people who wouldn't want to know at all.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_06: And uh that's not me.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, me either.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's very interesting.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if, hmm.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if a lot of people are like that.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if I won because because I surround I tend to surround myself with people who are I think everyone does.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_06: They they start to gravitate towards like-minded individuals.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_06: Um like me, I'd want to know the instant it was happening.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_06: I'd I'd hope you would step out of the voyeurism and come find me.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just give me this a little bit.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: God, at least let someone have a good day today.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_06: Well, they are obviously having a great time.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta bring the most happiness to most people.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's what utilitarianism's about.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I am everyone knows that.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_06: So as the man getting ready to be married, I would look at the video.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_06: Like, James, first, I would like to say that I'm really glad that you had this time to enjoy yourself and to experience this voyeurism.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_06: Secondly, I am very hurt.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: You can lead with the being hurt.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't I don't want to come first.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Just just just eventually, when you come, when you when you have time to absorb it, you know, you'll just feel like okay, someone got so there was some good.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_06: There was some good at it.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_06: I am hard, but I'm glad that you were able to reach completion.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_06: And so for that, that will keep me warm in the coming months.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_06: I'm glad.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_06: As I try and get past this.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's all I really wanted.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was inspi it was an inspiration for you, a touchstone for you to hold in these trying times.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_06: Definitely.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_06: Now, and I the question itself is I I was looking at a I saw a thing the other day.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_06: It was it featured Kurt Russell when he was in The Thing.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_06: And he has a line where uh he says that uh nobody trusts anybody anymore, and we're all very tired.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_06: And he the caption was dating after your 30s.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: Honestly, that's life right now.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's just it's the entirety of our lives.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_06: I don't trust anyone, and I'm so trust you at all.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_06: Please don't hurt me.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so tired.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_03: So tired.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_06: And and that's oh my god.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_06: I uh that uh that meme spoke to me something really deep.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_06: Me being a uh a 31-year-old man with uh one failed marriage under his belt.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, I don't trust anybody anymore, and I'm so tired.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I feel like a lot of people just in general can relate to that, especially with the pandemic going on.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Everything it's it's exhausting.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's it's exhausting.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's been it's been an exhausting uh lifetime for people born in the late 80s and early 90s.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's been exhausting for us.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I guess it's probably been exhausting for everyone.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's yeah, no, and I'm we we've we've dealt with a rapidly changing world for the entirety of our lives.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: We we were at the rise of computer technology.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_06: Well, so for the listeners who are looking for that uh dose of millennial angst and pain, I recommend my new book coming out.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's what this podcast is for.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_06: That's what it's about.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_06: We're we're here to basically just promote ourselves um and hopefully get free booths.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_06: And we so uh, but on that note, any final thoughts on best friend's wedding?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot that that's what even what we were talking about.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_06: It's so long ago.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_06: It feels like a lifetime ago that we sat down and started talking about the best friend's wedding.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think that I final thoughts, fuck cheaters.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: You what about you?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_06: Fuck cheaters.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_06: Let's have another shot.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_06: So this next shot.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_06: Fuck cheaters.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_06: Um you know, I will say, I will say, shit does happen.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, we're so we're all flawed.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_06: We're all flawed.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you know, I'm not, you know, like I I've been there, I've done bad things.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's important.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's important just to be like, hey, you know, fucked up.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, um, and and and fuck people who fuck up the same way I did.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: We can't do that kind of thing.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_06: Exactly.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_06: You shouldn't be doing it.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_06: So fuck old me, fuck cheaters.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_06: Um there is uh so there's one piece of advice then I'd like to give to Atlanta, Georgia.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_06: And the Philippines.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_06: And the Philippines.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_06: Um it was you know, during a period of my life where I was really working on self-correction and you know, the betterment of myself.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_06: And I'd also like to state for anyone who's listening, if if you need help, don't be afraid to get it.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_06: There's definitely a cultural stigma to looking for mental health help.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, for sure.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_06: Let it go.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_06: All right, you're not your dad, you're not your dad's dad.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_06: The masculinity crap's gonna kill you.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, tradition is is feeling like you owe something to dead people.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_06: And it's pure pressure from dead people.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but but anyway, the the piece of advice that I received, um, because I hold on to guilt like a Catholic.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_06: And um, so the piece of advice that I received that I'd like to bestow upon Georgia, because for years I was beating myself up about things that I did when I was younger.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_06: And finally, the the mentor, the person I was working with, he says, Look, you've disciplined yourself already.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_06: You, you know, you've done all that, you've disciplined yourself.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_06: You were angry at yourself, you felt the guilt.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_06: At this point, you're not disciplining yourself anymore.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_06: You're simply punishing yourself for the sake of punishment, and you gotta let it go at some point.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we live in a culture that treats discipline and punishment as the same thing.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_06: And it's not.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_06: It's not.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_06: It is not.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_06: And punishing yourself for a long, long time.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_06: Like, look, if you did wrong, you did wrong, you fess up to it, you make it better as much as you can, you heal.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_06: You tell yourself you don't do it again, you correct the behavior.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you you stay mad at yourself until you feel that you've been mad at yourself long enough and that the only way to move forward is to change your behavior.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: But as soon as as soon as discipline becomes punishment, you've gone too far.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_06: Um, especially with yourself.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, you it's just you and you for the rest of your life.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_06: So you gotta find a way to come to terms with who you are and make yourself better.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_06: Every day you should be a little bit better than you were yesterday, and that's the best you could hope for.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's the best you could hope for, and it's okay to fail along the way as long as your goal is to be better the next day.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: And to really try for it.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_06: Really?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_06: You that's the key.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_06: You can't fuck around.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_06: That's the key.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_06: You you can't say that I'm gonna change by doing everything I've ever done exactly the same.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, as long as you're trying, as long as you have to legitimately.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_06: You gotta legitimately try.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_06: So here's our fourth hit shot.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_06: Oh my god.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I know.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_06: Um, to legitimately trying to Atlanta, Georgia, and to our podcast.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_06: That fourth one an hour later feels a little better.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so as so as we said last week, this this podcast is about growing.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now let's get to where two fictional people fight to the death.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, let's get to the fun stuff.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_06: We got really uh we got weird on that last go.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_06: But you guys are listening to a podcast, literally, I don't want people to think that we're pretending to take these shots or to take these hits.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're really fucked up, guys.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, we're really fucked up.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_06: So if there's days where we're talking about some shit, that's what you signed up for, Atlanta, Georgia.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, don't put a moral dilemma in front of me and expect me to not stir some shit up.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_06: Hell no, we're gonna talk about male masculinity and how it needs to go and gender and this is growth! Two people stabbing each other.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_06: Let's go! All right, so next up, high and dry, we're part two of this uh dare I say groundbreaking podcast.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's the one and only emotional podcast.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_06: One and only, without a doubt.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_06: If you have a podcast and it's about emotional stuff and characters fighting characters, you're a fucking liar.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's just us, guys.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_06: It's just us.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for tuning in.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_06: I've listened to every podcast ever recorded, and I know.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_06: So, speaking of, I don't know what I've been drinking, but speaking of, next part of our podcast, we have our versus match.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_06: And in this versus match, we are going to be doing, let's see if I can say his name drunk.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_06: Here we go.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_06: Ezio Auditore de Firenze.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: That was pretty good.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_06: Is it alright?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_06: All right, versus Arya Stark.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_06: Aria Stark.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_06: All right, so we have two assassins, both from franchises that started to flail at the end.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: But we're wildly successful.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: But we're wildly successful.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Way to go.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_06: So this is in celebration of Assassin's Creed Valhalla that's coming out right now.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_06: Ubisoft send me a game.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: I need the PS5.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to have enough time right now.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Now to play a fucking video game.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: I I sure squandered a bunch of my time uh when I wasn't doing anything when I when I could have been playing video games.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I squandered my time so bad that playing video games would have been a better use.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_06: Squandered time is the theme song to my life.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_06: And you're telling me this four shots deep.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so Ezio Auditore.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Ezio Auditore.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: He's way back in time.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: He's in he's in real time.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: The Renaissance.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's in real times.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, real times.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_06: He lived on planet Earth.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_06: He just had to deal with warped senses of history, technology that wasn't actually there yet.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, technology that's hyper advanced.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_06: And he was dealing with like a progenator race.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_06: And then you have Aya Stark who's dealing with snow zombies.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's dealing with uh zombies and she's dealing with magicians.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: People can do magic and there's dragons and shit.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: So she's gotta deal with a lot of stuff.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_06: Well, Ezio deals with that as well.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, no, he deals with some crazy.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Especially in the DLCs.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: There were DLCs where there was like supernatural, like really supernaturally stuff.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I mean, like when you'd go underneath crypts, he'd encounter you know bizarre shit in the crypts.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_06: Crypts.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_06: How do you say crypt?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_06: Crypts.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_06: How do you say it plurally?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_06: Crypts.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_06: Crypts.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_06: Crypts.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's a difficult word to say.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so it's the auditory versus Aries Stark.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_06: Um so this is how it works, people at home.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_06: Um we have three rounds.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_06: First round is both characters take off their shirt, their pants, not their pants.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_06: They take off their shirt, their shoes, and their belts.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_06: And their pants.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_06: And their pants.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_06: We can't do that in this round.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_06: We cannot do that in this round.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_06: That's true.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: So Aya Stark can um Arya's not afraid though of I mean, well, we'll get to it.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_06: Well, Arya, thank you for being the first lady to come onto the podcast with us here.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_06: Um Strong competitor.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_06: Strong competitor.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh is the best competitor I could think of.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_06: But so it's basically fight club.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_06: They're surrounded by a bunch of drunk screaming people and Brad Pitt.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_06: And they beat each other to a pulp.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_06: So no one has a sword, no one has hidden blades.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_06: So it's basically, in my opinion, I mean we're taking them at their prime.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_06: It's a uh 35-year-old man versus a 13-year-old girl punching the shit out of each other.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: So so they can use uh they can use like hand-to-hand fighting styles.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think that's which they both have.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Ezio is not a great hand-to-hand fighter.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: He is shit at hand-to-hand, but I've uh He's not good at punching shit.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like he gets his he so well, it depends on how well you've mastered your parry button.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, when he's yeah, but he but he can't, she doesn't have a weapy weapon for him to parry.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't have a weapon.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_06: But so but Arya her ability definitely came when she was using the styles of her sword.
• 25:44
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_06: She sure pinned Gendry, though.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Woo.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_06: Look at that.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_06: The whole nation got excited about preteen sex.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_06: Oh no, it was teen sex.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_06: Teen sex.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: He would he's like 20 something, and she he's yeah, he's like he's much older than the character he played.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: He was like 20, he's like 28 or something.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: I can't remember, but he's like much older.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_06: So new moral dilemma.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_06: We're gonna back up to the first part of this podcast.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_06: You're an actor and you're being offered$50,000 to lay with this child.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you don't have to do it for real, right?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: He had the cocksock.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: That would be the weirdest fucking thing.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: I would feel so much.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: I would be so uncomfortable.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: I would be incredibly uncomfortable.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, kudos to that guy on having like the sense of self professionally to handle that kind of thing.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: And and also good on um uh Arya's actress, Maisie Williams.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Maisie Williams.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Good on her for uh being so comfortable with herself.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: What a crazy situation to be put into.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I think that she uh she seems like the kind of person who uh would have been aware of the situation.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think so.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_06: She does she seems really smart, a level of intelligence, yeah.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_06: But I mean at the same time, who the fuck knows?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, I think we definitely have a tendency in our society to project things that we want from our own spirituality.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I might be so wrong.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_06: What if she's an idiot?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_06: Macy Williams, we think you're smart.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_06: But we don't know if that's we don't know if that's true.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_06: If you'd like to prove it, you're welcome to come on the show.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_06: We're located in North Las Vegas.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_06: Um or we'll fly out to you, you know, just whatever.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_06: However, we want to do this.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'd fly somewhere to have an interview with her.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_06: No, we yeah, we could talk about the cocksock.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_06: Are you familiar with the cocksock?
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a banana hammock that they put on them.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no, I first learned about that from Kate Beckinsale.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_06: Um what were you two having fucking coffee or something?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_06: Well, you know how it is.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_06: You know, uh we're talking, we're you know, we're on the strip.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_06: This is Las Vegas, there's Kate Beckinsale, she's like let's talk, let's talk about all my sex scenes.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_03: This is how she started to talk about.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_06: I was completely oblivious to her coming on to me, and we sat down and we just talked about sex scenes.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_06: Um learned a lot of good technical information and departed ways.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_06: Well, for those of you in Atlanta, Georgia and Virginia who aren't aware, in those sex scenes in Hollywood, you have the cocksuck in which you slip your member and basically into a banana hammock.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: A protective, a clothes, a clock, a cloth protective sheath so that you're not rubbing genitals against your acting partner.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: But you really are though.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: But but your but your genitals are not touching them.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: The cloth is.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I mean, I think we saw how well the cocksock worked with uh Jason Darullo.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, his big old schlong swinging around.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Where'd you go to that guy?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_06: I was thinking more of uh Brad Pitt, Angelina Cholee, and uh Jennifer Aniston.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're oh, you're talking about how uh the sex scenes had them each other's partners.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_06: So I mean, like, you definitely have an emotion for me personally, um, I don't know.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_06: See, I that's a tough call.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_06: All right, so on our next episode, we're gonna be talking about um being able to separate your emotional and sexual side from your professional side in the event that you're gonna have to wear a cocksack.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_06: Back to Ezio versus Aria.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_06: Holy fuck.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's gonna have to get cut.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna cut all that.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Ryan, Ryan, I swear to God, you better cut the whole fucking thing.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_06: I don't think I'm gonna cut that.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so Ezio versus Arya.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_06: So first round.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_06: Shirts, shoes, and belts.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_06: They've taken them off.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um Ezio's a fucking horn dog.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: If she had to take her shirt off, he would be he would be fucking distracted.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_06: Well, she's wearing covering and wrappings and such, so well, yeah.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: I guess that I guess at their primes, Arya hasn't grown up, so Ezio's gonna be a little bit more than a good thing.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_06: I think it's just a grown man beating on a teenager at that point.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_06: They're both I mean, like so.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_06: Ezio, I think by the end of his story, has killed hundreds of people.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think he's killed more than that.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Depending on how good you are itself.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um But Arya as a teenager has also killed hundreds of people.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: She poisoned an entire family.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_06: That's true.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_06: But but I'm but so well, that'll come up in round three.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but in round one, where it's one mass murderer who's done it all with his hands against a teenage girl who's killed a few people.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: No, quite a few people with her hands.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_06: You have to admit she is a fantastic fighter.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_06: She's fought some um some you know very strong people, especially in that universe.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_06: She's uh forced to be reckoned with.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_06: But at the end of the day, I think that his martial prowess and her martial prowess cancel each other out, and it becomes a grown man beating up a teenage girl.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's also true.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_06: Well, there it is.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_06: That's all we needed to hear here on my.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_06: Um, I'd like at this point to remind everyone that we are the definitive people on this.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_06: So if you're ever if you're ever trying to figure out who wins between Bronny, Mr.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_06: Clean, Etsy versus Arya, just gotta come here and you'll know.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_06: We don't care about your YouTube comments.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_06: Well, we maybe we do.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know, maybe we do.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_06: All right, so there it is.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_06: Round one, no shirts, no, I'm so scared of saying no pants now.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: So so she uh so she put up a valiant effort, she probably beat the shit out of him.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_06: Probably, no, no, they definitely both walked.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_06: Well, he walked away beating the fuck up.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_06: She's dead.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, probably.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so round two.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_06: Round two.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so in round two of our versus match, we now allow both combatants to back up a step and have access to their clothing, equipment, anything else extra.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and this is this is gonna be a really tough round.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Etsu brings a lot to the table.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: He uh he has He's got a lot of equipment.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: He does have a lot of equipment.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm the kind the kind of video game player I am is a very specific kind.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm an inventory manager.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_03: I've I what I do is I try to maximize my inventory so I can get all the best shit.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I spend so much time doing that.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_06: I think the biggest question that viewers at home are asking is will Aria be able to compete with the vast array of capes that Ezio can collect.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: I must have bought like 40 different capes in one of them.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: I love the cape.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I loved the cape.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_06: And I I don't think that Aria ever utilized the cape.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_06: It's such a versatile garment.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_06: I think she did have a cape for a while.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: But and the fact that she let it go.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: She didn't.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: Ezio always had a cape.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_03: That motherfucker was he was stylish through and through.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_06: You could have snuck up on him, like you could have awoken him from a deep sleep.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_06: He would have rushed out of bed, flung on his newest cape, and stabbed you.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: He wore he had a he had a cape sleeping gown, like an Ebenezer Scrooge style sleeping gown with a cape on it.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_05: Just blowing.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: The man loved his game.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: He loved his capes.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: He loved his finery.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but really he's got he's got his dual blades.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: He does have dual wrist blades.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_06: Which Assassin's Creed, Ubisoft, if you're fucking listening, will you please bring back the blades?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_06: We don't give a shit about your main storyline with the person in the animus, and I want my assassins back.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_06: Sorry, James, go on.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh he uh he has like so he has the two wrist blades, he has the hook thing, um he has uh crossbow.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: He has I don't know if he I don't know if we can say that he has hold on.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: I actually think I want to back up.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think we can say he has the stuff from Leonardo da Vinci if we're just doing if we're in round two?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: Not in round two.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: So he doesn't have access to all the bombs and shit.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_05: He doesn't have access to No, and neither did Leonardo da Vinci.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he doesn't have access to a fucking tank or Ubisoft.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_05: Neither did Leonardo Da Vinci.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't put a gun in his anything, anything Leonardo da Vinci created for him, I don't think he should get in this round.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's because that's like prop it's not proprietary.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_06: No, and then that's that's the assistant, which we bring in in round three.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: So so so he only he he really only has his wrist blades.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: And he well he has he knows how to give him the crossbows.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_06: I would give him the crossbow.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_06: Well, so we're talking Florence uh Renaissance.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no, he definitely has crossbows.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um so he's got so what we're saying is that he has a vast arsenal.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, he does have a vast arsenal.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_06: I uh Aria, sorry, um, has needle.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_06: And now we have Aria has her faces.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_06: But she can't use it like we're still so at this point in round two, we're still in a ring.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_06: No, we're in the city.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: No, round three is city with in the old episodes of So we're gonna have to cut this too, but in the old episodes it was anything.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_06: Round two was So round two is city, but they don't have the partner.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_06: You're right, you're right.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_06: Um that'll be written down and put into the records.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_06: So so Arya has her masks and her faces.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: So she has her masks and her face and Ezio has his capes.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um I would say uh Honestly, those faces are a very strong Yeah, Ezio gets betrayed a couple times.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so he's not great at recognizing when his allies are going to betray him.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so real quick.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_06: So so far, I've just now we're granted, we're on episode four.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_06: Um there has been a what's the word for when something happens a bunch of times?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_06: Um there's been a tendency.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_06: A pattern?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_06: There's been a pattern where one person will win the first, the next person will win the second, and then the third will decide it.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_06: We need to make sure that we're not going there.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_06: So but if if I uh if Arya um has the faces, and that's uh given that's a huge advantage, and she takes it, she takes it.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_06: That's what it is.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_06: Um I just want to make sure that we're not letting our fans down.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, absolutely.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_06: Because there'll be a riot in Georgia right now.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: So let's see.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I think hold on.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: What are we forgetting?
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: So she has her magic.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um Ezio also has magic.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh he has eagle vision.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: Eagle vision! He would see her face! Holy shit.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't he wouldn't see her face, but he's able to- But she would be outlined in gold or red.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so he's able to discern when there is an enemy, yes, but only when he's actively using it.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_06: He's also not well, so alright, but at the same time, so we are dealing with our characters at their prime.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_06: Ezio's eagle vision eventually becomes eagle sense.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_06: And that's like And there's a very large distinction.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_06: Oh no, I remember that.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_06: It enables him to attract enemies, uh, sorry, track enemies, targets.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_06: He diagnoses injured people with it, detects sense, vapors, poisons, eminent threats, and all that sort of thing.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but that's when he's like an old man, right?
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think he gets those powers when he's an old man, which makes it is she fighting old man Ezio?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: He gets him when he's 52.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_06: And one of the things.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_06: But at the same time, one of the big parts of that storyline um was that all the other assassins were talking about how he doesn't seem to be 52.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_06: It feels like they're fighting a 30-year-old.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think that maybe uh Ezio might also win this one.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_06: Eagle Sense definitely slices out you walking up on it with another face.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but she is she's also very devious.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know how devious Ezio personally is.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: She showed in that one episode where she made people eat each other.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_06: That she's a vicious thing.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: She's willing to go the extra mile in order to entrap someone and make them suffer.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think Ezio at several points has fallen into instances where that has worked on him.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's how that's how Assassin's Creed chooses to write their plots.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_05: Because they've gotten lazy.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's how they choose to write their plots.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_06: Talking to you, Ubisoft.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_06: Do better.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_06: Every day you should be a little better than the day you were before.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_06: And I swear to God, if this Viking assassin doesn't have a hidden blade, I'm gonna be so pissed.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I I just don't I think so.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: Arya is also a really good archer.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: We see that that she's an amazing archer.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: She can throw knives.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_06: She's well that brings uh she can fight in the dark.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_06: But but within the cannon, and this is this is cut scene cannon.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_06: Ezio takes a cannon.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: He he gets shot with a cannon?
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_04: He gets hit by a cannon.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: By like a cannon on a boat, or by like like a a cannon that's loose that runs into him, or he gets shot with a cannon ball.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: A cannon ball.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: Twice.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_06: What the f additionally, he's shot by arabesques?
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_06: Arabesques?
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_06: That's how you say it, right?
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_06: He's shot by Arabesques in Arbalesques.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_06: Arbalesque.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and in the in the uh following scene, he fights fun.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um that Aria did manage to escape a trained assassin and then fight them to death in the dark.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh while wounded.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is a really funny.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is round two a tie?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think we may have to do round two as a tie because they're both they're both very physically capable, superhumanly physically capable.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_06: And I think their powers cancel each other out.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think I think her deviousness and her ability to put herself in a situation where she's one-on-one.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Meets a stalemate with his eagle senses.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so there it is.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_06: Um, a high and dry first.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_06: We have a tie.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_06: In round two of Ezio.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_06: It's too close to call, everybody.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have the third judge here.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_06: Too close to call.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and Kate Beck and Sale, uh, Macy Williams.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_06: Williams.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_06: Maisie.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_06: Maisie Williams.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_06: If you'd like to be the third judge on high and dry as we ascend into the echelons of podcasting, give us a call.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um we'll pitch your dramatic characters against each other.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that'll be cool.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_06: That'll be cool.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_06: That would be the craziest fucking thing ever.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_06: But anyway, um, so there it is.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_06: Round two, SEO versus Arya Stark.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_06: Um, the match is a draw tied.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_06: These two characters, their abilities seemingly canceling each other out.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_06: Which brings us into the third round where the chance to take it comes down to round three, they now have a partner.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I've thought a lot about this.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think that I think that the person Ezio has to bring is Leonardo da Vinci.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: This this this uh crazy worlds version of Leonardo da Vinci.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: And in the canon, he's just oh god, he gives him a fucking tank! He gives him a tank!
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: He gives the man a tank.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_05: Which again, Ubisoft, fucking get your shit together.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, people love their games, they must be doing something right.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: I still played more Assassin's Creed.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: I did, I just played Odyssey.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: How was it?
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was too big.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_06: It was too big?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_06: It's way too big.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like I felt that way about France.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: I never finished it because I felt so much.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_06: I felt like it was too big.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_06: I was like, Well, see, I loved Unity just be like, first I loved it because the parkour was bar none, and I love that period in history.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_06: I'm a huge French Revolution fan, and the choices I had in clothing really spoke to me.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the it was a super cool game.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I really enjoyed playing it, but it was just too big for me.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm I know I missed so much.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: I would have had to like I would have had to have to take like you'd have to quit your fucking job.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'd have to like get a I'd have to get a whiteboard and make like a grid system, and I'd have to set up a pattern to like a map to like try to try to access everything in this fucking giant.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_06: But I definitely loved Unity.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_06: I loved Unity so much, and I no none of those games have touched me like Unity did.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_06: Um I'm Gonna try Assassin's Creed Valhalla, but Ubisoft know that I'm not happy about it.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_06: Like I'm gonna try it, but fuck you.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's how I feel about a lot of things nowadays.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_06: You're like, god damn it.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_06: It's like I know I need you, but I also hate you.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_06: I hate you so much.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_06: Like, I love you, but I hate you.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_06: Round three, Ezio versus Arya Stark.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_06: So he's got Leonardo da Vinci.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_06: She has uh Jon Snow.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if she'd Jay Snowy?
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if she'd bring Jon Snow.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_06: Do you okay?
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_06: So we're talking about them in their prime.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_06: So she didn't become prime until after the Faceless Men.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_06: I would say she brings uh Jock and Hakeem.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_06: But he but by the time that she'd be fighting him and she has the training that he offered, she left him.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_06: He wouldn't come.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_06: It's done.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_06: It's over.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_06: If she's got a coin, I'll come.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_06: She doesn't.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: She gave it up.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's true.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think Jon Snow's worth much on the battlefield.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, he Well, so I mean Ezio is a Florentine Renaissance man.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_06: And we saw that um Jon Snow's real damage done was his in like his just throbbing sexuality.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_06: They confused everyone around him.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: She'd bring Bran.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: She'd bring Bran.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: He's like uh he can control peop pe animals and people and see the future and shit.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_06: We've been shitting on Ubisoft a lot.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_06: Game of Thrones, HBO.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_06: Get fucked.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was a real terrible ending to a series.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: Get the fuck.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: The tone changed drastically after after like season five.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_06: So like, look, I I don't mind if a writer gets it wrong.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_06: But try.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_06: But try.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_06: Second, I invested too much time for you to just fuck off with it.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_06: And thirdly, if I fucked up that bad at my job, I'd be fired.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_06: I wouldn't get a new HBO series.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: When you fuck up, you know.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_06: There should be some sort of consequence.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_06: I shouldn't have to watch your shit for the next five years.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: The problem is that they take up a lot of valuable airspace for people who could do better.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's the thing we're upset about.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, definitely.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's that they're it's that what they create is what we have to watch because they are the ones with the huge budgets, and they're the ones with the with the the most available media.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, and just everything has to turn into um nepotism.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_06: Um so Game of Thrones, fuck you.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_06: Fuck you.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_06: So Game of Thrones, fuck you.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_06: Ubisoft, fuck you.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_06: Can't wait to see what you put out next.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so uh round three.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_06: So Ezio is bringing Leonardo da Vinci.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_06: Magical Leonardo da Vinci, who's creating tanks and shit.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_03: The Futurama version of Leonardo da Vinci.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_06: So Ezio comes to Leonardo and he's like, hey, I want to get into space.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_06: And Leonardo's like, yeah, no fucking problem.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm from space.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_06: I'm from space.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_06: I got you.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_06: And then we have and then we have Arya Stark with Bran.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think I think Bran, his ability to see the future and the pet like all of the past.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: But does that does that allow him to defeat a tank?
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: It it allows him to set up a situation in which the tank is impeded in some way.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what he did in that final episode was he set up a situation where uh where Arya had the chance to fly through the air and fucking him writing.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_06: So Bran has the power of lazy writing, which beats Ubisoft's lazy writing.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: Game of Thrones lazy writing is more powerful than Ubisoft's lady lazy writing.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: God damn it, I agree.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Bran can do anything.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: He can set up any kind of situation and manipulate anyone in any way.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's how he got to be the fucking king.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_06: Well, there it is.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_06: Arya Stark beats the Auditorio de Fly Forense.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because she's just so good at flying out of nowhere and killing people.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: She literally jumped like across a scene in that last in that final thing where she killed the ice guy.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: God damn it, I'm too high.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: There it is.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: She flies, he's in his tank.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: His tank gets stuck in some kind of all of a sudden she appears out of nowhere.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, he he gets out of the tank to try to try to get it unstuck.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_03: She comes flying out and stabs it.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_06: Sounds like a goddamn Indiana Jones.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_06: Like an intro scene where you can't.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_06: So in in the final round of Ezio versus Arya, Ezio gets Raiders of the Lost Art.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, well, there it is, everybody.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_06: It's a draw.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's our first draw.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_06: It is a draw.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_06: Holy shit.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_06: I thought, okay, wow.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so round one.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_06: No pants, no shirt, whatever.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_06: Ezio takes it.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_06: A grown man beats up a teenage girl.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_06: Round two, it's a draw.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_06: Their powers, just when it's them fighting each other, slice each other out.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_06: And finally, round three, when the world is at their disposal and they have a partner, Aria takes it.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_06: High and dry's first draw.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_06: Aria Stark and Ezio Auditore de Firenze.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_06: It's a tie.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: Way to go.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: Way to go to our two competitors, and all uh the losers are all the writers.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, the writers lost this one.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_06: Um uh finally, uh, shout out to whatever fuck state is listening to us the most right now.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_06: That's Atlanta.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_06: Atlanta.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_06: I've been drinking a lot of Captain Morgan black spiced rum.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so shout out to Atlanta, uh, Kate Back and Sale, Maisie Williams, Virginia.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_06: If you're looking to be on this podcast, give us a call.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_06: Hit me up on Twitter.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_06: All of Virginia.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_06: All of Virginia.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_06: If you're looking to be on this podcast, go ahead and give us a call.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_06: Uh, I thank you, everybody, and you have a good night.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_06: Happy Veterans Day.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_06: This is High and Dry with I am Baron North and James Croslin.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_06: Take it easy.